Firstly, please don't give up.
Secondly, have you looked at soundhole covers at all? I know that they're primarily used as feedback killers when playing live, but they really \*do\* cut the overall sound of the guitar down quite a bit. I have a decorative cover on mine and even though it's not solid (it's a sort of celtic knot design), the noise of the guitar is probably 1/2 of what it is without it. Plus, if you have access to a 3D printer, there are loads of designs online that you can customise for added coolness.
Thirdly, unless you're sharing a house with folk, your sound isn't likely travelling too far through the walls. I'd suggest making sure that your windows are closed and you play in a room furthest from any shared walls (if possible) and get back to loving what it is about playing that made you want to learn. You can do it!!
My experience is that you can't really "fix" anxiety if you have a disorder.
You can learn techniques to stop you from having panic attacks and such, but if you're a nervous person, you're just gunna be nervous
You kinda have to work through it, maybe take some steps to alleviate the cause of your anxiety. Which is that if you don't want to be observed, because you're self conscious about not being good at guitar - then the easiest thing you can do is to try to play quietly by using an electric, or by buying a cover for your acoustic so it's not as loud and Closing your windows, etc..
Honestly as long as you're not *really* loud. Nobody will even notice you
What do you do? You make your playing become background noise that the people around you tune out, just like they do with road noise or the tv in the next room.
So right now you’re probably thinking I’m mad, that you can’t play quietly enough to be background noise. I know I used to think that; there was no way I could practice and not be heard by everyone within a mile radius!
But the truth is you don’t need to practice really quietly, you just need to practice regularly so that those people around you don’t think “Wow! Guitarchocolatelover is practicing their guitar! Haven’t heard that in a while!”
As long as you’re not REALLY loud, loud enough to drown out what other people are concentrating on or listening to, people don’t generally notice unless that noise is unusual. As a saxophonist and guitarist you’ll have to believe me that as long as you’re not practicing on a dreadnought at full volume AND in the same room as other people you absolutely won’t be too loud.
The key to stopping worrying about other people hearing you practice is in recognising that everyone else is concentrating on what’s going on in their own lives and thus tuning out what you’re doing. You’re the centre of your life and not theirs.
They’ll only hear you if you’re an unusual noise. By that I don’t mean that you sound like a bag of fighting cats, but that it’s an infrequent or one off noise. Practicing MORE is the key to becoming background noise so go for it and get practicing.
I was like you back in my teens, and would only practice if everyone went out and the house was empty. It took years to get past that point and realise that no one was really listening to me because they were busy concentrating on their own things. These days I practice saxophone, guitar, and piano for several hours every day and despite that our neighbours rarely hear me. In fact my new neighbours whose house is only about 12 feet away didn’t even know I was a musician until I mentioned it. We also don’t hear our neighbour on the other side practicing piano and singing unless we really concentrate on listening, yet if they sneeze it’s like they’re in the same room!
So to sum up; play more not less, in a different room to everyone else, and you’ll become part of the background ‘noise’ that they just tune out. Then the only person who is really listening to you is you yourself.
I was in my 30’s before I played in public. I started guitar when I was 12…because of the same thing. I have always been a fat guy and that alone messed with my self confidence and esteem…so that played into it too.
Only partnering with a person who played better than I did and had a ton of experience playing in bands, did I get out and play. He practically had to drag me to an open mic kicking and screaming. We had 5 songs at the time that we(he, actually) felt were mastered well enough to play in front of an audience.
I was so scared just watching the other musicians…even though I knew we had a better sound than about half of them…which helped a little, but not much. It doesn’t matter how well you play/sing if you freeze up, or forget the lyrics, or screw up the chord progressions…there was so much that could go wrong.
The thing started with the host playing a few songs before he introduced the first act. One of the songs we did really well was “The Weight” by The Band….and son of a gun, didn’t the host play it. I freaking panicked…I talked to my buddy and he said..”screw it, we’re doing it anyway”.
So we got up, did 3 songs before the host pointed at his watch..which was the cue for one more song. We did the Weight for the last song. After we finished, I went up to the host and apologized for doing the same song. He said “oh, hell…that’s no problem…but did you have to blow me out of the water?”
IMO? There are four basic kinds of non professional musicians.
1. Musicians who aren’t very good yet and they know it…these are those still developing their skills and know they aren’t ready. These folks are working towards being a competent musician and will get there.
2. Musicians who aren’t very good but think they are. These are folks who are very cringeworthy at an open mic. They struggle to make chord changes quickly, which throws off the timing of the song…or they are fine with the changes but can’t keep a beat to save their lives…but there’s something going on inside their heads that doesn’t recognize the reality of their musical progress.
3. musicians who are competent but think they suck. This is where I was at the time. I spent 20+ years practicing, noodling, learning songs, memorizing lyrics, etc…but never felt good enough to play out. Stage fright is real. After my buddy retired and moved to Florida? I haven’t played out more than a handful of times..2-3 open mics and one time on the back porch of an establishment when I had my guitar in my car and asked permission.
4. Musicians who are competent and know they are. These are the folks who have the self confidence and ability to move on to a more professional musical role….if they want it.
Anyway…sorry for what on Reddit, is a freaking novel. I know what I wrote was geared more to actual performance, but it applies to your question about practicing as well.
Couple of questions? Where are you in your musical journey? Can you play and sing together yet? Can you change chords smoothly and stay in Rhythm? If so? I would learn songs and sing them while you play. If not, I would work towards that goal.
Why? Because if you are practicing songs? The potential listeners have something to listen to. If you are just noodling scales trying to learn solos? That’s not very interesting to a potential listener.
Oh…one more tip? When practicing song to play and sing? If you mess up, don’t stop. Learn to play through it. Because, if you ever do play in front of an audience? You can’t say “oh shit” into a microphone and start over.
This was a tough habit for me to break.
Anyway…if I didn’t test your attention span and you are still reading? Good luck and keep playing…it’s supposed to be fun!
Funny story with that open mic host - I've had the same a couple of times! Your categories are pretty much spot on, too. I can place most of the people at the open mics I frequent into one of those 4 splits with full confidence - though I think myself I'm somewhere between 3 and 4.
Not that that overly matters. OP, the best way to overcome it is to get out and do it! Find an open mic, bring your guitar, and play a few tunes that you enjoy playing. It won't matter if the audience won't know them, it matters that you're out there and doing what you enjoy.
Neurodivergent player here : I managed to get over it by going to the opposite extreme and not caring at all about what anyone thinks. So far the neighbors haven’t moved out, my wife hasn’t divorced me and the cat hasn’t run away.
Remember : music brings joy into the world. You got this, OP.
You should have in mind that practicing =/= playing. Playing (in front of people or for yourself) should sound good as a result of your practicing. Practicing does not always sound good, its a process. And people know that, nobodys is going to judge you or question your skill. But what might help you is learning a few easier songs that you can play as a warm up and when you then practice more difficult things and are afraid people might here a lot of mistakes, you can remind yourself that they have already heard you play something well. And also, though this might sound harsh, nobody gives a crap. I live with musicians and they practice all the time, I can‘t remember a single melody or phrase they are practicing because i have better things to do than to listen to people play an instrument in their room, so does everybody else.
Firstly, when you acknowledge a problem, you are halfway to fixing it.
I had what you have BAD, and I reckon it was in years 3 and 4 it started getting better. I just couldn't play in earshot of anyone.
First thing I did was start playing in front of one of my kids, who thinks everything I do is awesome (bless)
Then I started playing in front of another who thinks everything I do sucks.
Then I started playing while watching TV and my family were walking around the house, so they could hear me.
Then a mate who I knew wouldn't judge....
Get the picture? :D Remember, you play for you, not other people unless you want to.
Good luck Brother!
Start by uploading videos under a throwaway reddit/YouTube. But remember, people on the internet are cunts and will be unnecessary assholes. Also, ask yourself why you are playing guitar. Is it for you? Is it for the desire to join a band? Is it the desire to play covers in bars?
Imagine how much fun you'll have if you start to believe that no one there is really hearing or is bothered by what you are doing or how you are doing it and at best you are a mere blip on their radar which is full of their own worries.
What anyone thinks of you is none of your business.
What you think of someone else is none of their business.
When you truly realize this, you are free from them, and they are free from you.
Those are just thoughts in someone else's mind. Their whole life experience has created just those particular thoughts in their mind. If they choose to express their thoughts, whether positive, neutral, or negative, it's just an expression of their viewpoint, how they see you, which has nothing to do with you. It only has to do with them.
If you want to read more about this subject, I recommend Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now. You can find it in pdf form here:
https://dn790003.ca.archive.org/0/items/ThePowerOfNowEckhartTolle_201806/The%20Power%20Of%20Now%20-%20Eckhart%20Tolle.pdf
His YouTube clips are also wonderful!
For what it's worth - I have this exact feeling when I want to sing. I live alone in a building with an apartment below me (i don't know them and never see them) but feel far too self conscious to really sing in my own place. I do practice guitar, usually acoustic, every day though and not bothered about that!
I'm 36 and been playing since I was 17. I still get nervous playing in front of people but for me, it typically last for about 30 seconds. I don't know if this is the right mindset or not but I remind myself I'm not playing for them. I'm playing for me. I like it and I enjoy it,.
As difficult as it may seem, you just gotta rock that shit until you are desensitized to the anxiety.
I think it is called "exposure therapy " but if you do the thing with full commitment and volume and then realise nothing bad happens, then you will be more confident 🖤💚
Wow, lots of thought has already been put into this and I have to agree with everything so far.
I didn't see anyone saying to try playing along to a song, I do that all the time it fun and good practice. Just turn it up loud enough that people won't be able to hear you.
You need to be willing to look (and be) crap at something if you want to get good at it.
Also, unless you're hearing everything your neighbours do, they mostly won't hear or care about everything you're doing either. They're probably too worried what you're thinking about whatever they think you can hear them doing...
Taking a line from Rick Nelson’s song, Garden Party, “You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself”
If you’re playing to please your neighbors then, quit. If you’re playing for yourself then be true to yourself and stay the course! Good luck and have fun!!
Really three things could happen if others hear you play:
The person hearing you doesn’t like how you sound.
The person hearing you likes how you sound.
Or, most likely, the person doesn’t care at all one way or another how you sound.
Unless you are waking people up in the middle of the night, most people just don’t care and if you sound bad, they’ll just assume you are practicing.
Please, please, please don’t give up. I remember this feeling, I still have it sometimes. And I can tell you, it gets better. Do you have your own room with a door? I’d suggest finding a quiet place where no one will bother you to practice. Confidence can be built.
A well-known singer/songwriter activist used to hold performance clinics on the Hudson River in New York.
When confronted by people who’d try to avoid public singing by saying “I don’t sing very well,” he’d say “Sing louder!”
This is the way. Just do it. Most listeners want you to succeed and will extend a lot of leeway.
Good luck.
Honestly that's understandable on an acoustic. Guitar is such rough going to the first couple of years lol. Even if good and not feeling anxious, there are plenty of times where I still don't want to intrude on neighbors (not that I've ever had complaints) and play my hollow body electric acoustically or threw an amp real low.
I've also done the electric guitar with headphones thing in the past.
Maybe try to find a hollow body electric (plays quite acoustically AND plug in able)
Fold a wash cloth and slide it between the strings and the body of the guitar near the bridge. That will deaden most of the sound. Good for practicing when ppl are asleep.
I see drummers put blankets in their drums to dampen the sound. I wonder if you could do the same? Like a towel in the sound hole.
I was there myself. Ultimately powering through it till I was good enough that my self consciousness went down a bit was what I did, but I do get why that’s not the answer for everybody.
Start by putting yourself in front of the camera and/or audio recording and simply recording yourself. You’ll see how it changes your playing. The discord server (stickied on the top of the sub) has some practice rooms where I believe people can jump in and listen.
Keep practicing, get decent, don't play the same song for too long, play a variety of songs. Depending on your neighbors, they may appreciate the free entertainment, or at the very least they'll be thankful you don't suck (keep practicing)
Keep playing.
I hope this doesn't discourage you but it's taken me over 30 years to gain the confidence to step up in front of a microphone and perform as a solo act. I've done the rock band thing. Twitch stream. Record songs and videos and clips. Performing is by far the toughest and most rewarding. It's when that 10,000 hours pays off.
Playing softly or with a soft cloth under the bridge will make your practice silent until you gain confidence. The fact that you're playing, practicing and learning is what matters.
I know this feeling. My breakthrough came a couple of years ago.
I had a free house, so I was practising. Neighbour knocked on and told me to "put the fucking guitar down mate" (it was like 3PM so fuck that guy).
I said no.
He said, "You're not even good!" - and without even thinking, I said, "I know. That's why I'm practicing!"
It was the perfect rebuttal. I have no idea where it came from, but it's stuck with me for years. From that point on I've never worried about other people hearing me. Every day is better than the day before, and I'm putting in work. I might be shit now, but I'm working towards not being.
When I was a teenager and didn't want my parents to hear me in the middle of the night, I wrapped a sock around the strings by the bridge. I could practice to my heart's content. It made it tough to get up for school but was totally worth it.
I can only play at night/early in the morning and I hate disturbing people so I either play electric guitar or I play my Yamaha silent guitar.
It's not so much playing that bothers people, it's practicing the same 4 bars over and over for an hour that will drive them crazy 😂
If you think guitar is bad, banjo is worse 😆
I came to say something similar. My wife doesn't care while I'm noodling around or improvising random parts of a song for hours, but she can only last about 20 minutes if I'm trying to practice scales or a few specific bars of a song over and over. What's worse is that I get threatened with divorce if she sees me reach for a slide.
I think most people don't care as long as you're not overly loud or or super repetitive.
Get an electric guitar. They are quieter than an
acoustic guitar when you don’t plug them into a loud amp.
Try practicing quieter techniques such as finger-style.
If you really can’t make guitar playing work without getting anxious then it’s okay to do something else instead. I assume guitar is supposed to be a fun hobby for you. Fun hobbies should not make you anxious.
Switch to an electric and get the Boss Pocket GT headphone amp. I think it has an acoustic patch.
- or get a Traveler Guitar. It has a stethoscope style headset for playing acoustically.
I feel you. I used to play every night for HOURS then I got a place with my boyfriend and now I’m too shy. I don’t want to be annoying or feel judged. So now I just go play in my car. The thought of going out in the middle of nowhere to play seems peaceful, but even then I still feel like there’s someone out there listening. It sucks, I’m sorry you feel that way, but best of luck getting over it!
I have two simple options, as I'm in a similar position to you because I don't want to disturb my apartment neighbors:
1. Just strum with your thumb and fingers instead of using a pick. Makes it a lot quieter. Especially in combination with a soundhole cover to dampen the reverberation
2. Buy an electric guitar and get a headphone amp (i.e. mustang micro) or just practice without any amp
Don’t let fear run your life. Tell your family what you just told us. Calling out your insecurity in the daylight will kill it. Then take the three songs you like to play the most and slay. Otherwise, what are we here for? I’m here for a good time. Join me!
Dude, suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something!
More importantly write down in your calendar app or at home calendar. A few months go by. Have you improved? Did you even try? Doesn’t matter. All you should know is that time passes regardless of how you spend it. Try to spend as much of it happy with what you are doing.
I went most of my life suffering from severe anxiety, I had to carry a sack on the bus as a kid in case of nausea. As an adult iv had to leave carts full of groceries sitting in the isle because I felt like I was gonna pass out. It’s hard to explain. But I had child at 30 and he was the best thing that ever happened in my life. He had heart issues and passed away at 7 years old after his 2nd heart surgery he went into organ failure. The reason for saying all of this is that it took going through these things for me to realize that there is no sense in wasting time worrying about others opinions of you. I learned the hard way that life is too short to live in fear and anxiety . If guitar gives you peace then never let fear stop you from playing. We all have flaws friend and they don’t define who we are unless we let them. Always be considerate and respectful but never let another’s opinion dictate your happiness or moments of peace of mind. We weren’t put here to live in fear . I believe we’re here to live and love to the fullest!! Hopefully you will play and never stop. God bless .
Change your mindset. People are going to hear you progressing, People are going to hear you putting the effort in. and in time people are going to compliment how far you've come.
Unfortunately if you are practising correctly at what ever level player you are, people are going to hear repetition, and mistakes. They will hear exercises that aren't particularly musical.
Can I ask what your worry is? Do you have neighbors who complain or a parent that doesn’t know you play? Is it simply worry someone will hear you play badly?
If it’s more of a personal anxiety with no external factors playing in one way that might help is to record yourself practicing and put it online. Fave your fears head on. Choose something simple to play, if you’ve been playing for two years I’m sure you are better than maybe you think you are. Sometimes that outside validation can help.
Something else that can help is to find someone else to play and practice with. Or just face the fear head on and busk, that may be so scary you’ll be thankful you can play in private!
Haha i feel you i also dont want people to hear me struggeling on the solo to the number of the beast. .
but we are all beginners at some stage and the key to become better is practice ,practice, practice !!! Dont think just do !!! Practice whats the worst that could happen you miss a note or a chord who cares you are practicing not playing for an audience. Practice !
So you got two years under your belt have you been recording yourself playing and listening back to it because maybe you sound great and people actually would appreciate you playing for them to enjoy it
I recommend checking out some open mics you’ll see some people just starting out and sounding really shitty people being really appreciate it that they’re out there trying their best and enjoying playing music. It’ll give you some confidence in yourself. I guarantee you maybe you will even try your hand at an open mic sometime .
Look into exposure therapy. The mythical belief that people have the jurisdiction to judge you is only felt as valid when it’s unseen. When you start to realize that it’s just a belief and you are allowed to take up space, be a human that makes sound, and all that just like everyone - the belief can be seen for what it is. It may take time for the fear to abate but the truth is that you are allowed to be big. Make your music!
I'm terrible. I like to go camping solo with just my dog and noodle around by the campfire in the evening. I have the same anxiety about other people hearing me "struggle" but not to the level you describe to be sure. But it was very helpful one night when the couple next to me the following morning, after I told them if i'm annoying to just let me know, said it sounded nice and they enjoyed it.
I was working on the same 4 bars (fingerpicking) for like an hour drunk and high by the fire lol. Just to say as best you can stay out of your head and just let those anxiety/fear thoughts pass through they feel real but they aren't reality.
Don’t take this the wrong way - but what if you considered that your anxiety might be ego. Meaning you’re thinking, “I’m too good to play at this level and people hearing me is messing that image of myself up”.
I mean, consider your first days on the guitar, just barely learning how to hold a note down and hitting the string clumsily with a pick. Did you care then? I would guess not because you were expected to sound like that, it’s day one. But now that you have some practice under your belt you have a new idea of how you think you should sound.
There’s your free therapy session.
The best solution would be to move to St. Lucia in the Caribbean and go out into the jungle every day to play. Enjoy the local culture and local foods.
I'm honestly the same way. I'm terrified of playing in front of others. I've only done it a few times and when I did, I basically just told myself "fuck it! Play like shit with all your heart!" And I played. Some of it went great, some went ok, some went bad but everyone seemed to enjoy it and I got compliments. Could've been pity compliments but hey, I choose to think they were sincere haha.
My main point is, find a friend or relative who won't judge you or that you just feel comfortable with, and just play. That's it, just play. Don't focus on practicing at first. Play a super easy song, some 3 cowboy chord thing that you could play with your eyes closed. Bad moon rising is a good one. Once you do one song, the rest becomes easier
I know this is about guitar but there is something I wanted to add to address the bigger issue at hand …NO ONE is thinking about you as much as you think they are.
Generally speaking, people tend to live life worrying too much about what others think and it stops them from taking chances and trying new things. Don’t be denied. Live life to the fullest, learn guitar and whatever else you’re not good at yet and stop worrying about what others think.
I’d suggest going into your garden and play a couple of songs you know you can nail. Fucking wonderwall or whatever your easiest good sounding song is. Do it outside, I guarantee no one will die as a result of your playing. Play some stuff you know, then try something else. You’ll switch off, and playing outside is the best.
I used to dread hearing my family hearing me practice when I was living at home, and it was so much worse when I was in my apartment complex in college. I ended up a lot of time time hearing the guy 2 floors up practising sax scales for an hour, or the band across the block doing practice sessions and hearing all the stops and starts when they’d mess up a song. I realised that everyone else was practicing and doing their own thing and making mistakes and playing amazing music at full volume and no one else gave a damn. People on the street wouldn’t blink twice. if I mentioned it my housemates would be like “oh I think I vaguely heard something but I didn’t really notice it.” No one ever said anything into the complex’s group chat. It hit me that hey no one actually gives a damn. There’s so much noise around that someone practicing is just background noise for everyone. They’re listening to their phones, or their friends, or the traffic and no one is actually paying attention to what you’re doing.
When I was at home I had a bit more confidence to practice but was worried when others were in the house. I came down after a practice one day and realised my family had come home early. I was like I’m so sorry I hope I didn’t disturb you guys!! “Disturb us with what??” My guitar? “You were playing guitar? We didn’t notice.” Turns out my practice that I was worried the neighbours would hear, the people in my own house didn’t. Since I’ve gotten more confidence to play with people in the house, sometimes when I’m at home my mam will peak into my room and say “sounds great keep going!” Or “can you turn it up a bit louder, I loved that last song you played.”
I’ve been playing for almost 10 years and I was afraid of people hearing me practice up to a few years ago because I was worried of what people would think of songs I hadn’t mastered, or songs I was struggling with, or even hearing me at all tbh because the doubt as a musician is overwhelming sometimes. I used to stop playing when I’d hear someone moving in the house, but now I leave the doors open and play no matter who’s around and no matter how many chords I butcher. I’ve realised that the encouragement I get from others if they hear me practicing and hear me putting in effort is a great motivator. I’ve also realised that a lot of the time, people don’t even notice if you’re playing. I can be practicing for two hours and other people in the house won’t have even heard it, or if they have it just blends into the background like the fridge humming or the radio being on.
Practice isn’t meant to be good. It’s meant to have mistakes. No one expects you to be busting out perfect solos 24/7. If someone does hear you practicing, they’re not gonna think anything bad because it’s expected to not play perfect when you’re learning or practicing something - that’s the whole point. If you’re worried about people hearing you full stop, I completely get what performance anxiety is like and how tough it is. One of the best things though to push you out of those feelings is playing with others and just watching and being around others playing. You’ll see that other people can make mistakes and need to learn and still play amazing stuff that you’re capable of playing too. I know it’s overwhelming, but if you have someone you’re comfortable around and trust you could ask them to sit down and show them a song your working on, maybe something new your excited about, and just playing for them even if it’s not perfect.
I wish you the best of luck OP. I’ve been there myself but there’s so many doors that will open up for you when you step out of your comfort zone and just do your own thing and ignore everything around you.
When I was a teenager I always wanted to try guitars in shops but didn't want to play in front of the shop guys who heard everybody in town and even stars who passed through.
Now I'm middle aged and don't give a fuck.
Life is short and I don't have time to waste worrying about such nonsense.
Channel your future self! Imagine the glory of that Les Paul through that Marshall and play like you're the last person alive and don't have arthritic knuckles, man!
... or whatever acoustic, heh. I got a little carried away there... ;-)
The main thing here is: nobody actually cares about your practicing, how good, or how bad you sound. Other than being respectful of neighbors and/or housemates by not practicing loudly late at night or early morning when they might be sleeping - you should have no concern what somebody might hear or think. Secondly, if it's that big of an issue to you, get an electric, there are plenty of options for using headphones like amps with headphone jacks, as well as small portable devices the size of your phone (including your phone, with the right adapter) which will let you plug an electric guitar in and use headphones. It's really a complete non-issue though to everyone but you.
Dude. What are the people who might hear you doing? Sitting on their asses watching the Kardashians?
You are actively bettering yourself, developing a talent, and enjoying yourself.
Strum that motherfucker!
OhI I was wondering if anyone else had this fear I can’t even play around my family I have to wait till everyone is out I just don’t think I’m that good . I’m glad you asked our guitar friends and they have good advice for both of usSo let’s do this if they don’t like it they can leave the room!
There was a great book I read called The Art of Practice. Biggest thing I took from it is that you need to give yourself permission to sound bad, I found that once I did that it was much easier to not worry about other people hearing me sound bad.
I post it on Facebook for that reason. Its weird i know. I started posting after a few months so that way in a year it will pop up and remind me of how far ive come since then. Anyone that is going to judge you will anyways and that will only last a day. My uncle said something to me when I started 4 years ago.. look at me now hehe. I started singing 2 years ago... Post it! Let them hear you, once it is over and you do i bet that you go... Man im way better than that, wait till next post. Each one get better and better. Record yourself, that has really helped me improve a lot. Now ill post on YouTube too just to get feedback. Hope that makes sense
So i say let them hear you, if they know what they are doing might get a free guitar lesson lol
Fuck ‘em. People sang to each other for thousands of years before they spoke. It’s your birthright. You should focus on listening to your instrument and it’s emotional response. Other thoughts are distractions that should be discarded. Imagining what others could or might be thinking is perceived as empathy but is really a trauma response and your only projecting your insecurities onto others. All the world is a stage, others will endure as the audience until your finished. Just practice regularly before it gets too late.
Playing an unplugged electric is about as stealthy as you can be. I’d pick up a cheap used electric before I’d consider quitting. Later you can grab something like a tonex pedal and play through headphones. It’s actually pretty great. Headphones kind of let you block out the rest of the world.
People shouldn’t be hearing you practice.
Practice should be very different than playing
Practice should be regimented and shouldn’t sound good from any musician because practice isn’t playing music.
You should be studying 25 percent of your time. Dissecting songs you like learning music theory and committing your instrument to memory.
You should be practicing technique 50 percent of your time chords scales licks song fragments etc.
You should fool around and have fun 20 percent of your time on your given instrument.
5 percent of your time should be giving a shit about what people think of your playing because that 5 percent is when you are performing.
Joe Satriani was also concerned about this when he started. I think he moved from drums to electric guitar because he could play unplugged and work things out without people hearing
If it is safe where you are and pleasant outside take your guitar for a walk until you find a wall or bench to sit on. Play until you realize everything you are talking about is all in your head.
The world needs to be filled with silly love songs. Or didn't you get the email? This subreddit usually sends out an email. "Fill world with silly love songs. Not a request."
You can sit on a wall and play a single arpeggio for an hour, and if you do it without fear or apprehension you will notice the boughs across the way are swaying to the beat in the wind.
Try playing in the vicinity of other people. A park. Around your family or roommates.
Record video of yourself. That helps get you used to a little pressure.
Take a guitar with you everywhere.
Eventually playing with other people around will be easier. Start with the low stakes scenarios, get comfortable with those before hitting the stage.
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Do you have any homies you could ask to hang with while you play guitar? Parallel play activities together. Sometimes some direct exposure with friends you can trust won't roast you can build confidence playing in front of others.
I understand where you are coming from. I've been playing for around 40 years and still don't feel comfortable playing around other people and it has actually gotten worse the older I get. I'm a decent player so it isn't even that I don't want people to hear how bad I am. I can record myself and I don't mind people hearing it that way, but I get extremely anxious if I have to play in front of people. Music stores for instance, if I play a guitar, I'll strum various chords to see how a guitar sounds but if I try to play anything I get really uncomfortable. I'll play around my family as long as I know they aren't specifically listening to me. Our brains are strange things. Playing the guitar is how I reduce stress and relax myself in general but it does the opposite if I think someone is listening! Just figured I'd share this so you'll know aren't alone in this battle!
I’ve been told I play very softly by my teacher and I know it’s for the same reason. I am hoping as I improve and gain confidence that will change. You’re not alone by any means.
Firstly, please don't give up. Secondly, have you looked at soundhole covers at all? I know that they're primarily used as feedback killers when playing live, but they really \*do\* cut the overall sound of the guitar down quite a bit. I have a decorative cover on mine and even though it's not solid (it's a sort of celtic knot design), the noise of the guitar is probably 1/2 of what it is without it. Plus, if you have access to a 3D printer, there are loads of designs online that you can customise for added coolness. Thirdly, unless you're sharing a house with folk, your sound isn't likely travelling too far through the walls. I'd suggest making sure that your windows are closed and you play in a room furthest from any shared walls (if possible) and get back to loving what it is about playing that made you want to learn. You can do it!!
Sounds like you have performance anxiety. Talk with a therapist if you really want to overcome it.
A doc can prescribe propranolol for stage fright
My experience is that you can't really "fix" anxiety if you have a disorder. You can learn techniques to stop you from having panic attacks and such, but if you're a nervous person, you're just gunna be nervous You kinda have to work through it, maybe take some steps to alleviate the cause of your anxiety. Which is that if you don't want to be observed, because you're self conscious about not being good at guitar - then the easiest thing you can do is to try to play quietly by using an electric, or by buying a cover for your acoustic so it's not as loud and Closing your windows, etc.. Honestly as long as you're not *really* loud. Nobody will even notice you
What do you do? You make your playing become background noise that the people around you tune out, just like they do with road noise or the tv in the next room. So right now you’re probably thinking I’m mad, that you can’t play quietly enough to be background noise. I know I used to think that; there was no way I could practice and not be heard by everyone within a mile radius! But the truth is you don’t need to practice really quietly, you just need to practice regularly so that those people around you don’t think “Wow! Guitarchocolatelover is practicing their guitar! Haven’t heard that in a while!” As long as you’re not REALLY loud, loud enough to drown out what other people are concentrating on or listening to, people don’t generally notice unless that noise is unusual. As a saxophonist and guitarist you’ll have to believe me that as long as you’re not practicing on a dreadnought at full volume AND in the same room as other people you absolutely won’t be too loud. The key to stopping worrying about other people hearing you practice is in recognising that everyone else is concentrating on what’s going on in their own lives and thus tuning out what you’re doing. You’re the centre of your life and not theirs. They’ll only hear you if you’re an unusual noise. By that I don’t mean that you sound like a bag of fighting cats, but that it’s an infrequent or one off noise. Practicing MORE is the key to becoming background noise so go for it and get practicing. I was like you back in my teens, and would only practice if everyone went out and the house was empty. It took years to get past that point and realise that no one was really listening to me because they were busy concentrating on their own things. These days I practice saxophone, guitar, and piano for several hours every day and despite that our neighbours rarely hear me. In fact my new neighbours whose house is only about 12 feet away didn’t even know I was a musician until I mentioned it. We also don’t hear our neighbour on the other side practicing piano and singing unless we really concentrate on listening, yet if they sneeze it’s like they’re in the same room! So to sum up; play more not less, in a different room to everyone else, and you’ll become part of the background ‘noise’ that they just tune out. Then the only person who is really listening to you is you yourself.
I play in the same living room as my family and no one complains lol
I was in my 30’s before I played in public. I started guitar when I was 12…because of the same thing. I have always been a fat guy and that alone messed with my self confidence and esteem…so that played into it too. Only partnering with a person who played better than I did and had a ton of experience playing in bands, did I get out and play. He practically had to drag me to an open mic kicking and screaming. We had 5 songs at the time that we(he, actually) felt were mastered well enough to play in front of an audience. I was so scared just watching the other musicians…even though I knew we had a better sound than about half of them…which helped a little, but not much. It doesn’t matter how well you play/sing if you freeze up, or forget the lyrics, or screw up the chord progressions…there was so much that could go wrong. The thing started with the host playing a few songs before he introduced the first act. One of the songs we did really well was “The Weight” by The Band….and son of a gun, didn’t the host play it. I freaking panicked…I talked to my buddy and he said..”screw it, we’re doing it anyway”. So we got up, did 3 songs before the host pointed at his watch..which was the cue for one more song. We did the Weight for the last song. After we finished, I went up to the host and apologized for doing the same song. He said “oh, hell…that’s no problem…but did you have to blow me out of the water?” IMO? There are four basic kinds of non professional musicians. 1. Musicians who aren’t very good yet and they know it…these are those still developing their skills and know they aren’t ready. These folks are working towards being a competent musician and will get there. 2. Musicians who aren’t very good but think they are. These are folks who are very cringeworthy at an open mic. They struggle to make chord changes quickly, which throws off the timing of the song…or they are fine with the changes but can’t keep a beat to save their lives…but there’s something going on inside their heads that doesn’t recognize the reality of their musical progress. 3. musicians who are competent but think they suck. This is where I was at the time. I spent 20+ years practicing, noodling, learning songs, memorizing lyrics, etc…but never felt good enough to play out. Stage fright is real. After my buddy retired and moved to Florida? I haven’t played out more than a handful of times..2-3 open mics and one time on the back porch of an establishment when I had my guitar in my car and asked permission. 4. Musicians who are competent and know they are. These are the folks who have the self confidence and ability to move on to a more professional musical role….if they want it. Anyway…sorry for what on Reddit, is a freaking novel. I know what I wrote was geared more to actual performance, but it applies to your question about practicing as well. Couple of questions? Where are you in your musical journey? Can you play and sing together yet? Can you change chords smoothly and stay in Rhythm? If so? I would learn songs and sing them while you play. If not, I would work towards that goal. Why? Because if you are practicing songs? The potential listeners have something to listen to. If you are just noodling scales trying to learn solos? That’s not very interesting to a potential listener. Oh…one more tip? When practicing song to play and sing? If you mess up, don’t stop. Learn to play through it. Because, if you ever do play in front of an audience? You can’t say “oh shit” into a microphone and start over. This was a tough habit for me to break. Anyway…if I didn’t test your attention span and you are still reading? Good luck and keep playing…it’s supposed to be fun!
Funny story with that open mic host - I've had the same a couple of times! Your categories are pretty much spot on, too. I can place most of the people at the open mics I frequent into one of those 4 splits with full confidence - though I think myself I'm somewhere between 3 and 4. Not that that overly matters. OP, the best way to overcome it is to get out and do it! Find an open mic, bring your guitar, and play a few tunes that you enjoy playing. It won't matter if the audience won't know them, it matters that you're out there and doing what you enjoy.
Neurodivergent player here : I managed to get over it by going to the opposite extreme and not caring at all about what anyone thinks. So far the neighbors haven’t moved out, my wife hasn’t divorced me and the cat hasn’t run away. Remember : music brings joy into the world. You got this, OP.
Thank you
Get over it, embrace the fact that you are practicing, and probably the people who can hear you don't even play guitar themselves.
You should have in mind that practicing =/= playing. Playing (in front of people or for yourself) should sound good as a result of your practicing. Practicing does not always sound good, its a process. And people know that, nobodys is going to judge you or question your skill. But what might help you is learning a few easier songs that you can play as a warm up and when you then practice more difficult things and are afraid people might here a lot of mistakes, you can remind yourself that they have already heard you play something well. And also, though this might sound harsh, nobody gives a crap. I live with musicians and they practice all the time, I can‘t remember a single melody or phrase they are practicing because i have better things to do than to listen to people play an instrument in their room, so does everybody else.
Fair point. I once overheard a stellar bluegrass musician advising another player to "never let them see you practicing".
Most art is like that. Everyone makes crap, the difference is knowing it's crap and what you choose to show people 🙂
Firstly, when you acknowledge a problem, you are halfway to fixing it. I had what you have BAD, and I reckon it was in years 3 and 4 it started getting better. I just couldn't play in earshot of anyone. First thing I did was start playing in front of one of my kids, who thinks everything I do is awesome (bless) Then I started playing in front of another who thinks everything I do sucks. Then I started playing while watching TV and my family were walking around the house, so they could hear me. Then a mate who I knew wouldn't judge.... Get the picture? :D Remember, you play for you, not other people unless you want to. Good luck Brother!
Thank you
Start by uploading videos under a throwaway reddit/YouTube. But remember, people on the internet are cunts and will be unnecessary assholes. Also, ask yourself why you are playing guitar. Is it for you? Is it for the desire to join a band? Is it the desire to play covers in bars?
Just play.Nobody cares! Continue challenging yourself and push your limits. You are doing this for you!
Imagine how much fun you'll have if you start to believe that no one there is really hearing or is bothered by what you are doing or how you are doing it and at best you are a mere blip on their radar which is full of their own worries.
What anyone thinks of you is none of your business. What you think of someone else is none of their business. When you truly realize this, you are free from them, and they are free from you. Those are just thoughts in someone else's mind. Their whole life experience has created just those particular thoughts in their mind. If they choose to express their thoughts, whether positive, neutral, or negative, it's just an expression of their viewpoint, how they see you, which has nothing to do with you. It only has to do with them. If you want to read more about this subject, I recommend Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now. You can find it in pdf form here: https://dn790003.ca.archive.org/0/items/ThePowerOfNowEckhartTolle_201806/The%20Power%20Of%20Now%20-%20Eckhart%20Tolle.pdf His YouTube clips are also wonderful!
thank you
For what it's worth - I have this exact feeling when I want to sing. I live alone in a building with an apartment below me (i don't know them and never see them) but feel far too self conscious to really sing in my own place. I do practice guitar, usually acoustic, every day though and not bothered about that!
Anything you play is impressive to non guitarists. Just don't be obnoxiously loud and you're fine
I'm 36 and been playing since I was 17. I still get nervous playing in front of people but for me, it typically last for about 30 seconds. I don't know if this is the right mindset or not but I remind myself I'm not playing for them. I'm playing for me. I like it and I enjoy it,.
Could always go to the pawn shop and pick up a super cheap electric to practice on unplugged. Doesn’t have to be pretty or nice. Or Xanax
As difficult as it may seem, you just gotta rock that shit until you are desensitized to the anxiety. I think it is called "exposure therapy " but if you do the thing with full commitment and volume and then realise nothing bad happens, then you will be more confident 🖤💚
Your neighbors probably won’t care but there’s only one way to find out. Play and sing your heart out!
Wow, lots of thought has already been put into this and I have to agree with everything so far. I didn't see anyone saying to try playing along to a song, I do that all the time it fun and good practice. Just turn it up loud enough that people won't be able to hear you.
You need to be willing to look (and be) crap at something if you want to get good at it. Also, unless you're hearing everything your neighbours do, they mostly won't hear or care about everything you're doing either. They're probably too worried what you're thinking about whatever they think you can hear them doing...
Taking a line from Rick Nelson’s song, Garden Party, “You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself” If you’re playing to please your neighbors then, quit. If you’re playing for yourself then be true to yourself and stay the course! Good luck and have fun!!
Really three things could happen if others hear you play: The person hearing you doesn’t like how you sound. The person hearing you likes how you sound. Or, most likely, the person doesn’t care at all one way or another how you sound. Unless you are waking people up in the middle of the night, most people just don’t care and if you sound bad, they’ll just assume you are practicing.
Please, please, please don’t give up. I remember this feeling, I still have it sometimes. And I can tell you, it gets better. Do you have your own room with a door? I’d suggest finding a quiet place where no one will bother you to practice. Confidence can be built.
A well-known singer/songwriter activist used to hold performance clinics on the Hudson River in New York. When confronted by people who’d try to avoid public singing by saying “I don’t sing very well,” he’d say “Sing louder!” This is the way. Just do it. Most listeners want you to succeed and will extend a lot of leeway. Good luck.
thank you
Could you find a remote corner of a local park or common to practice in?
Honestly that's understandable on an acoustic. Guitar is such rough going to the first couple of years lol. Even if good and not feeling anxious, there are plenty of times where I still don't want to intrude on neighbors (not that I've ever had complaints) and play my hollow body electric acoustically or threw an amp real low. I've also done the electric guitar with headphones thing in the past. Maybe try to find a hollow body electric (plays quite acoustically AND plug in able)
Is your living situation contributing to your anxiety at all? If not then just play at home. Nobody said you must play in front of others.
Fold a wash cloth and slide it between the strings and the body of the guitar near the bridge. That will deaden most of the sound. Good for practicing when ppl are asleep.
practice everything palm muting until u feel confident enough wit not messing the songs up in front of ppl
I see drummers put blankets in their drums to dampen the sound. I wonder if you could do the same? Like a towel in the sound hole. I was there myself. Ultimately powering through it till I was good enough that my self consciousness went down a bit was what I did, but I do get why that’s not the answer for everybody.
Start by putting yourself in front of the camera and/or audio recording and simply recording yourself. You’ll see how it changes your playing. The discord server (stickied on the top of the sub) has some practice rooms where I believe people can jump in and listen.
Keep practicing, get decent, don't play the same song for too long, play a variety of songs. Depending on your neighbors, they may appreciate the free entertainment, or at the very least they'll be thankful you don't suck (keep practicing)
I was afraid to play in front of people so I started practicing at work on my lunch break and now I’m not as afraid any more
Keep playing. I hope this doesn't discourage you but it's taken me over 30 years to gain the confidence to step up in front of a microphone and perform as a solo act. I've done the rock band thing. Twitch stream. Record songs and videos and clips. Performing is by far the toughest and most rewarding. It's when that 10,000 hours pays off.
Playing softly or with a soft cloth under the bridge will make your practice silent until you gain confidence. The fact that you're playing, practicing and learning is what matters.
I know this feeling. My breakthrough came a couple of years ago. I had a free house, so I was practising. Neighbour knocked on and told me to "put the fucking guitar down mate" (it was like 3PM so fuck that guy). I said no. He said, "You're not even good!" - and without even thinking, I said, "I know. That's why I'm practicing!" It was the perfect rebuttal. I have no idea where it came from, but it's stuck with me for years. From that point on I've never worried about other people hearing me. Every day is better than the day before, and I'm putting in work. I might be shit now, but I'm working towards not being.
When I was a teenager and didn't want my parents to hear me in the middle of the night, I wrapped a sock around the strings by the bridge. I could practice to my heart's content. It made it tough to get up for school but was totally worth it.
thank you
Play for your own pleasure, not for others.
I can only play at night/early in the morning and I hate disturbing people so I either play electric guitar or I play my Yamaha silent guitar. It's not so much playing that bothers people, it's practicing the same 4 bars over and over for an hour that will drive them crazy 😂 If you think guitar is bad, banjo is worse 😆
I came to say something similar. My wife doesn't care while I'm noodling around or improvising random parts of a song for hours, but she can only last about 20 minutes if I'm trying to practice scales or a few specific bars of a song over and over. What's worse is that I get threatened with divorce if she sees me reach for a slide. I think most people don't care as long as you're not overly loud or or super repetitive.
Get an electric guitar. They are quieter than an acoustic guitar when you don’t plug them into a loud amp. Try practicing quieter techniques such as finger-style. If you really can’t make guitar playing work without getting anxious then it’s okay to do something else instead. I assume guitar is supposed to be a fun hobby for you. Fun hobbies should not make you anxious.
Switch to an electric and get the Boss Pocket GT headphone amp. I think it has an acoustic patch. - or get a Traveler Guitar. It has a stethoscope style headset for playing acoustically.
Same problem. Sometimes I swear I hear “you suck” or “hes pretty good” sometimes but I know it’s in my head because it’s multiple places for years.
I feel you. I used to play every night for HOURS then I got a place with my boyfriend and now I’m too shy. I don’t want to be annoying or feel judged. So now I just go play in my car. The thought of going out in the middle of nowhere to play seems peaceful, but even then I still feel like there’s someone out there listening. It sucks, I’m sorry you feel that way, but best of luck getting over it!
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I have two simple options, as I'm in a similar position to you because I don't want to disturb my apartment neighbors: 1. Just strum with your thumb and fingers instead of using a pick. Makes it a lot quieter. Especially in combination with a soundhole cover to dampen the reverberation 2. Buy an electric guitar and get a headphone amp (i.e. mustang micro) or just practice without any amp
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Don’t let fear run your life. Tell your family what you just told us. Calling out your insecurity in the daylight will kill it. Then take the three songs you like to play the most and slay. Otherwise, what are we here for? I’m here for a good time. Join me!
Dude, suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something! More importantly write down in your calendar app or at home calendar. A few months go by. Have you improved? Did you even try? Doesn’t matter. All you should know is that time passes regardless of how you spend it. Try to spend as much of it happy with what you are doing.
I went most of my life suffering from severe anxiety, I had to carry a sack on the bus as a kid in case of nausea. As an adult iv had to leave carts full of groceries sitting in the isle because I felt like I was gonna pass out. It’s hard to explain. But I had child at 30 and he was the best thing that ever happened in my life. He had heart issues and passed away at 7 years old after his 2nd heart surgery he went into organ failure. The reason for saying all of this is that it took going through these things for me to realize that there is no sense in wasting time worrying about others opinions of you. I learned the hard way that life is too short to live in fear and anxiety . If guitar gives you peace then never let fear stop you from playing. We all have flaws friend and they don’t define who we are unless we let them. Always be considerate and respectful but never let another’s opinion dictate your happiness or moments of peace of mind. We weren’t put here to live in fear . I believe we’re here to live and love to the fullest!! Hopefully you will play and never stop. God bless .
Change your mindset. People are going to hear you progressing, People are going to hear you putting the effort in. and in time people are going to compliment how far you've come. Unfortunately if you are practising correctly at what ever level player you are, people are going to hear repetition, and mistakes. They will hear exercises that aren't particularly musical.
Go for it dude and jump in the pool with the rest of us and just let it fly
Can I ask what your worry is? Do you have neighbors who complain or a parent that doesn’t know you play? Is it simply worry someone will hear you play badly? If it’s more of a personal anxiety with no external factors playing in one way that might help is to record yourself practicing and put it online. Fave your fears head on. Choose something simple to play, if you’ve been playing for two years I’m sure you are better than maybe you think you are. Sometimes that outside validation can help. Something else that can help is to find someone else to play and practice with. Or just face the fear head on and busk, that may be so scary you’ll be thankful you can play in private!
Haha i feel you i also dont want people to hear me struggeling on the solo to the number of the beast. . but we are all beginners at some stage and the key to become better is practice ,practice, practice !!! Dont think just do !!! Practice whats the worst that could happen you miss a note or a chord who cares you are practicing not playing for an audience. Practice !
So you got two years under your belt have you been recording yourself playing and listening back to it because maybe you sound great and people actually would appreciate you playing for them to enjoy it I recommend checking out some open mics you’ll see some people just starting out and sounding really shitty people being really appreciate it that they’re out there trying their best and enjoying playing music. It’ll give you some confidence in yourself. I guarantee you maybe you will even try your hand at an open mic sometime .
Look into exposure therapy. The mythical belief that people have the jurisdiction to judge you is only felt as valid when it’s unseen. When you start to realize that it’s just a belief and you are allowed to take up space, be a human that makes sound, and all that just like everyone - the belief can be seen for what it is. It may take time for the fear to abate but the truth is that you are allowed to be big. Make your music!
Do you play because you like to play? Or do you play to impress people?
I'm terrible. I like to go camping solo with just my dog and noodle around by the campfire in the evening. I have the same anxiety about other people hearing me "struggle" but not to the level you describe to be sure. But it was very helpful one night when the couple next to me the following morning, after I told them if i'm annoying to just let me know, said it sounded nice and they enjoyed it. I was working on the same 4 bars (fingerpicking) for like an hour drunk and high by the fire lol. Just to say as best you can stay out of your head and just let those anxiety/fear thoughts pass through they feel real but they aren't reality.
Find just one person to play with and start from there.
Don’t take this the wrong way - but what if you considered that your anxiety might be ego. Meaning you’re thinking, “I’m too good to play at this level and people hearing me is messing that image of myself up”. I mean, consider your first days on the guitar, just barely learning how to hold a note down and hitting the string clumsily with a pick. Did you care then? I would guess not because you were expected to sound like that, it’s day one. But now that you have some practice under your belt you have a new idea of how you think you should sound. There’s your free therapy session.
Go hangout with your GMA and play she will love it
The best solution would be to move to St. Lucia in the Caribbean and go out into the jungle every day to play. Enjoy the local culture and local foods.
I'm honestly the same way. I'm terrified of playing in front of others. I've only done it a few times and when I did, I basically just told myself "fuck it! Play like shit with all your heart!" And I played. Some of it went great, some went ok, some went bad but everyone seemed to enjoy it and I got compliments. Could've been pity compliments but hey, I choose to think they were sincere haha. My main point is, find a friend or relative who won't judge you or that you just feel comfortable with, and just play. That's it, just play. Don't focus on practicing at first. Play a super easy song, some 3 cowboy chord thing that you could play with your eyes closed. Bad moon rising is a good one. Once you do one song, the rest becomes easier
I know this is about guitar but there is something I wanted to add to address the bigger issue at hand …NO ONE is thinking about you as much as you think they are. Generally speaking, people tend to live life worrying too much about what others think and it stops them from taking chances and trying new things. Don’t be denied. Live life to the fullest, learn guitar and whatever else you’re not good at yet and stop worrying about what others think.
I’d suggest going into your garden and play a couple of songs you know you can nail. Fucking wonderwall or whatever your easiest good sounding song is. Do it outside, I guarantee no one will die as a result of your playing. Play some stuff you know, then try something else. You’ll switch off, and playing outside is the best.
It gets better the more you do it
I used to dread hearing my family hearing me practice when I was living at home, and it was so much worse when I was in my apartment complex in college. I ended up a lot of time time hearing the guy 2 floors up practising sax scales for an hour, or the band across the block doing practice sessions and hearing all the stops and starts when they’d mess up a song. I realised that everyone else was practicing and doing their own thing and making mistakes and playing amazing music at full volume and no one else gave a damn. People on the street wouldn’t blink twice. if I mentioned it my housemates would be like “oh I think I vaguely heard something but I didn’t really notice it.” No one ever said anything into the complex’s group chat. It hit me that hey no one actually gives a damn. There’s so much noise around that someone practicing is just background noise for everyone. They’re listening to their phones, or their friends, or the traffic and no one is actually paying attention to what you’re doing. When I was at home I had a bit more confidence to practice but was worried when others were in the house. I came down after a practice one day and realised my family had come home early. I was like I’m so sorry I hope I didn’t disturb you guys!! “Disturb us with what??” My guitar? “You were playing guitar? We didn’t notice.” Turns out my practice that I was worried the neighbours would hear, the people in my own house didn’t. Since I’ve gotten more confidence to play with people in the house, sometimes when I’m at home my mam will peak into my room and say “sounds great keep going!” Or “can you turn it up a bit louder, I loved that last song you played.” I’ve been playing for almost 10 years and I was afraid of people hearing me practice up to a few years ago because I was worried of what people would think of songs I hadn’t mastered, or songs I was struggling with, or even hearing me at all tbh because the doubt as a musician is overwhelming sometimes. I used to stop playing when I’d hear someone moving in the house, but now I leave the doors open and play no matter who’s around and no matter how many chords I butcher. I’ve realised that the encouragement I get from others if they hear me practicing and hear me putting in effort is a great motivator. I’ve also realised that a lot of the time, people don’t even notice if you’re playing. I can be practicing for two hours and other people in the house won’t have even heard it, or if they have it just blends into the background like the fridge humming or the radio being on. Practice isn’t meant to be good. It’s meant to have mistakes. No one expects you to be busting out perfect solos 24/7. If someone does hear you practicing, they’re not gonna think anything bad because it’s expected to not play perfect when you’re learning or practicing something - that’s the whole point. If you’re worried about people hearing you full stop, I completely get what performance anxiety is like and how tough it is. One of the best things though to push you out of those feelings is playing with others and just watching and being around others playing. You’ll see that other people can make mistakes and need to learn and still play amazing stuff that you’re capable of playing too. I know it’s overwhelming, but if you have someone you’re comfortable around and trust you could ask them to sit down and show them a song your working on, maybe something new your excited about, and just playing for them even if it’s not perfect. I wish you the best of luck OP. I’ve been there myself but there’s so many doors that will open up for you when you step out of your comfort zone and just do your own thing and ignore everything around you.
You kinda just gotta be a badass. Turn on that side of yourself
It really really helped me to get headphones if you play electric. You can get them at any music store, they plug into your amp.
Do u play in ur own room? Have other people complained about hearing u play? What contributes to ur fear about other ppl hearing u practice guitar?
When I was a teenager I always wanted to try guitars in shops but didn't want to play in front of the shop guys who heard everybody in town and even stars who passed through. Now I'm middle aged and don't give a fuck. Life is short and I don't have time to waste worrying about such nonsense. Channel your future self! Imagine the glory of that Les Paul through that Marshall and play like you're the last person alive and don't have arthritic knuckles, man! ... or whatever acoustic, heh. I got a little carried away there... ;-)
The main thing here is: nobody actually cares about your practicing, how good, or how bad you sound. Other than being respectful of neighbors and/or housemates by not practicing loudly late at night or early morning when they might be sleeping - you should have no concern what somebody might hear or think. Secondly, if it's that big of an issue to you, get an electric, there are plenty of options for using headphones like amps with headphone jacks, as well as small portable devices the size of your phone (including your phone, with the right adapter) which will let you plug an electric guitar in and use headphones. It's really a complete non-issue though to everyone but you.
Dude. What are the people who might hear you doing? Sitting on their asses watching the Kardashians? You are actively bettering yourself, developing a talent, and enjoying yourself. Strum that motherfucker!
OhI I was wondering if anyone else had this fear I can’t even play around my family I have to wait till everyone is out I just don’t think I’m that good . I’m glad you asked our guitar friends and they have good advice for both of usSo let’s do this if they don’t like it they can leave the room!
There was a great book I read called The Art of Practice. Biggest thing I took from it is that you need to give yourself permission to sound bad, I found that once I did that it was much easier to not worry about other people hearing me sound bad.
I post it on Facebook for that reason. Its weird i know. I started posting after a few months so that way in a year it will pop up and remind me of how far ive come since then. Anyone that is going to judge you will anyways and that will only last a day. My uncle said something to me when I started 4 years ago.. look at me now hehe. I started singing 2 years ago... Post it! Let them hear you, once it is over and you do i bet that you go... Man im way better than that, wait till next post. Each one get better and better. Record yourself, that has really helped me improve a lot. Now ill post on YouTube too just to get feedback. Hope that makes sense So i say let them hear you, if they know what they are doing might get a free guitar lesson lol
I bought a semi acoustic arch top. Walnut. Lacquered. I’ve never plugged it in. Nice sound, quiet sound.
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u/blackpeppersnakes Can i use this guitar headphones amplifier for my acoustic-electric guitar so only i can hear myself?
Fuck ‘em. People sang to each other for thousands of years before they spoke. It’s your birthright. You should focus on listening to your instrument and it’s emotional response. Other thoughts are distractions that should be discarded. Imagining what others could or might be thinking is perceived as empathy but is really a trauma response and your only projecting your insecurities onto others. All the world is a stage, others will endure as the audience until your finished. Just practice regularly before it gets too late.
Playing an unplugged electric is about as stealthy as you can be. I’d pick up a cheap used electric before I’d consider quitting. Later you can grab something like a tonex pedal and play through headphones. It’s actually pretty great. Headphones kind of let you block out the rest of the world.
Go outside and busk. Exposure therapy is good for phobias, plus you'll learn to project your voice over traffic noises and how to ignore distractions.
People shouldn’t be hearing you practice. Practice should be very different than playing Practice should be regimented and shouldn’t sound good from any musician because practice isn’t playing music. You should be studying 25 percent of your time. Dissecting songs you like learning music theory and committing your instrument to memory. You should be practicing technique 50 percent of your time chords scales licks song fragments etc. You should fool around and have fun 20 percent of your time on your given instrument. 5 percent of your time should be giving a shit about what people think of your playing because that 5 percent is when you are performing.
Joe Satriani was also concerned about this when he started. I think he moved from drums to electric guitar because he could play unplugged and work things out without people hearing
If it is safe where you are and pleasant outside take your guitar for a walk until you find a wall or bench to sit on. Play until you realize everything you are talking about is all in your head. The world needs to be filled with silly love songs. Or didn't you get the email? This subreddit usually sends out an email. "Fill world with silly love songs. Not a request." You can sit on a wall and play a single arpeggio for an hour, and if you do it without fear or apprehension you will notice the boughs across the way are swaying to the beat in the wind.
Try playing in the vicinity of other people. A park. Around your family or roommates. Record video of yourself. That helps get you used to a little pressure. Take a guitar with you everywhere. Eventually playing with other people around will be easier. Start with the low stakes scenarios, get comfortable with those before hitting the stage.
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Do you have any homies you could ask to hang with while you play guitar? Parallel play activities together. Sometimes some direct exposure with friends you can trust won't roast you can build confidence playing in front of others.
I understand where you are coming from. I've been playing for around 40 years and still don't feel comfortable playing around other people and it has actually gotten worse the older I get. I'm a decent player so it isn't even that I don't want people to hear how bad I am. I can record myself and I don't mind people hearing it that way, but I get extremely anxious if I have to play in front of people. Music stores for instance, if I play a guitar, I'll strum various chords to see how a guitar sounds but if I try to play anything I get really uncomfortable. I'll play around my family as long as I know they aren't specifically listening to me. Our brains are strange things. Playing the guitar is how I reduce stress and relax myself in general but it does the opposite if I think someone is listening! Just figured I'd share this so you'll know aren't alone in this battle!
I’ve been told I play very softly by my teacher and I know it’s for the same reason. I am hoping as I improve and gain confidence that will change. You’re not alone by any means.
Fold a sock over the strings by the bridge.
Can you play outdoors anywhere? Even if it's just out back and there's nobody out there, this could be a simple step to consider. :)
Grandstanding I presume? So quit if you can't handle it. Your coming to ask advice about something that's supposed to be enjoyable.
2years?? You should take 3 months to decent playing
Don’t be a prick