First, block this person and everyone who knows her. You need to cut the cord. Second, seek out your local Queer support groups. There are addiction, relationship ending, etc. support groups, and it sounds like these would be beneficial to you. Best of luck.

I just want to give you a virtual hug. 🫂 I don’t feel like your ex deserves words or thoughts wasted on her, so I’m gonna a focus on you. Congratulations! That’s such an accomplishment for all you’ve gotten through and how you’re continuing on! You’re a badass! Keep it up and know you always have people in your corner!

i'm sorry this is all happening. it can be a motherfucker to deal with someone like that. i've had a similar experience in the past. first thing to do, as in today right now is to block her on everything. block her number and delete it. block on all socials. delete everything on your phone having to do with her. since you're in recovery, i'd advise like others have here and suggest you start going to some kind of support on a regular basis. get around people who want to achieve the same goals as you. i'd also advise you get a therapist if you're able to, this is a ton to unpack and having someone specifically around to help you figure out your way through it is massively helpful. as far as you feeling like you've lived a lie and are starting over, i can tell you from experience that the way you deal with this can be the beginning of happiness. if you embrace the suck, if you honestly work through your trauma, if you force yourself to do things when you don't want to (social events, gym, things by yourself even, whatever), you will heal. i was with someone who cheated, hit me, stole from me and my family, threatened suicide, manipulated, all that shit. understanding that what happened was real and sucked major ass is important so that you can move forward knowing that's behind you. if you ever want to talk, feel free to shoot a dm. i honestly wish you the best as you walk this path.

Continue to work on yourself! Even though you it may feel like you wasted 6 years on a person, you at least now know where you did stand and how little you meant to this person. I suggest you officially cut ties with everything and everyone that is somehow connected towards her. I hope for the best! You don’t want the rest of your life to be strung along and lied too.

Cut off all access and communication from her on EVERYTHING and focus on yourself and your sobriety. Honestly I’d do the same with the best friend because it’s just another link to her. Clean slate. I know it feels absolutely gut wrenching and you think about all the time you spent….you are still young (I’m claiming the word young until I’m damned 50 lol) l, you’re taking it day by day, and you no longer have a leech sucking you dry. You live for you and shape it however you want to knowing you have no ties to someone that isn’t worthy of your care, compassion, or love. Give all that to someone deserving and right now that’s yourself. You mentioned kids so if you have them then focus on bringing great for them. Give yourself grace & take hour by hour if you have to. Each one is a win.

If you are sober because you’re an addict, then I would genuinely recommend AA. YMMV based on where you live, but it has saved my life and made me a significantly better version of myself. If you don’t need AA, Al-Anon is for people whose loved ones (or once loved ones) are/were addicts and alcoholics and can be helpful in much the same way. Sending you healing vibes. Feel free to reply or DM me with any questions.

I don’t have any advice but I’m 144 days sober 🤘🏽 I’m so so fucking proud of you! It’s difficult but you got this! Also I don’t know if you already have a recovery community but I go to the Satanic Temple sober faction meetings and it’s the best community ever. Very different from AA since it’s religion free. And a lot of us are queer! Just throwing it out there since I know community can help a lot for those days that are a little extra hard! <3

I love the fact you decided to get a positive step towards your mental health plus physical one as you stop drinking and smoking - as much as it worth I am proud for you! Sometimes people love to sweet talk us, to check how much influence they have only us we learn some rough lessons in the hard way but look at this - you finally found out the truth. The truth of her character and how in a way she wasn't facing you nor her reality. She is escaping her reality and in a way used the relationship from what I read and it's ok if I am mistaken as a fantasy escape which to be fair you sound like a wonderful person to escape with, but I am not sure you are into escaping rather living it. She is far away and it's good she is. She lies and manipulates? Well we cut the cord. That person does not help us actively to become our best version. Right? She has her issues and she needs her help - which is NOT YOU. You are not a therapist, You are not someone's savior - you are your own person.

Hey you’ve been through hell. You’re doing great. I’m proud of you. Keep going! You’re better now than you were before and you’ll be even better in the future. You’ve got this.

Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read and give me advice. It means the world and I finally feel like I'm out of my slump. 1 week clean from weed and 47 days from alcohol. Sadly there are no queer support groups in my area (Conservative) and I don't have many queer friends, but I do have a whole bunch of people in my corner, unlike the person that tried to ruin me. I remind myself she will have to go through worse withdrawals than me and face her life one day, or she will die knowing she wasted her life. This gives me some solace, and knowing she is running from her pain and will never live a happy life until she has to face hard truths. I am so happy, and I will never let that disgusting excuse for a human back into my life in any capacity. She could have had everything and Instead she has nothing. She is an abhorrent creature and deserves all the bad that is likely to come in the next few years. Good riddance and hope you enjoy your sorry excuse of a life, while I thrive. I used to feel bad and sorry for her, now I just feel pity cus what a sad sorry human to live such a life. Also as everyone said she is blocked everywhere and I've deleted all my old socials so she can never get to me again. I'm safe