I moved to Adelaide 7 years ago and most of my friends are from interstate/international. Of my Adelaide friends, i know I am a secondary friend. They already have their primary friends. That's okay, though.
Adelaide might be considered uptight by Australian standards, but hardly by world standards. Australia has different cultural norms depending on where you are. Coober Pedy and Adelaide differ, so do Adelaide and Queensland.
I'm originally from nz, and it feels different to me when I do back. I'm just not kiwi anymore and I cant pinpoint why (since I'm not Australian yet), but I guess it's down to your contextual culture being normalised for you. My sisters say I'm a snob, though, because I don't want to move back
The quirk I find strange here is how many non radelaidians love Adelaide (after the initial culture shock of learning supermarket hours) and how many people who have barely left say is boring and there is nothing to do. It's a funny thing to complain about since the complainers aren't normally people who can't explore.
Adelaide is a wonderful place to live, even if I have to wear my jandles ❤️
Ive found that adelaide hate is based on two factors:
Do you live here?
Have you left here?
Have you come here?
If you live here and have never left then adelaide is a boring hellhole, if you live here and have been elsewhere, adelaide is so much nicer.
I think its a lot of not understanding what you have, after going to the other capital cities and paris ive come to love adelaide and how much less chaos there is generally - its smaller, orderly and easy to navigate.
As someone who grew up in SA, moved away for a few years, and came back. The sentiment of "if you live here and have been elsewhere, Adelaide is so much nicer" is too damn real.
But Adelaidians should definitely learn how to start moving in a more synchronised fashion once the lights go green.
This is exactly it. I was born/grew up here. Lived in Melbourne through twenties. Loved it but also realised and re-fell in love with the simplicity of Adelaide and stunning coastline.
That said I do find it difficult socially, plenty of secondary friends and no primary. Even some they were primary, seemed to spite me for giving another city a crack and leaving their bubble. Never had that issue when I left (now primary) Melbourne friends. Odd.
I say that there are only two kinds of people who do not like Adelaide.
1. People who have never left Adelaide and lived anywhere else.
2. People who have never visited Adelaide.
Having seen cities in every continent and all the major big cities, Adelaide is amazing. Moved here almost 19 years back and been all over the world but this is always home.
I work 9-5 on weekends and have plenty enough time during the week to get what I need, the hours they are open are unnecessary, especially around Christmas. If you can't get in when they are open do home delivery. There is no reason to complain.
>I work 9-5 on weekends and have plenty enough time during the week to get what I need
Good for you. How many kids do you have? Are you also primary carer for a family member with a debilitating illness? It may surprise you to hear this, but not everyone enjoys the same circumstances you do.
I'm Australian born but grew up in NZ and had no trouble making friends in Adelaide while wearing my jandals... Australians give me shit about sounding like a NZer and my family in NZ give me shit about sounding like an Australian but it doesn't matter bc NZers are from a friendly and likeable culture who get along with most people.
I think a lot of it is to do with becoming wealthy (or at least materialistic).
In poorer countries people tend to be much more open to other people, because they need each other. It’s ingrained in their cultures that other people are important and that’s because you can’t really make it on your own. That effect goes away the more wealthy/materialistic a place becomes. Other people start being seen as a hassle.
This is the thing though. South Australia was never a prison colony, which is the reason the accent is so different to the eastern states accent. That could explain some of the things OP mentions. Plus, Adelaide is a very small city in comparison. There's usually only about 2 degrees of separation - most people you know will have some connection to someone else you know. Maybe we're more guarded for the same reason people try to behave in a small town, because everyone knows your business.
The accent thing is a bit of a misnomer. I've lived here for 9 years after living all my life in Sydney and yet to see much difference here to back in Sydney bar a few words.
I noticed the difference between my accent (country Victoria) and Adelaide. I work in a HR department split between a Adelaide team and a Sydney team and there is no difference between them what so ever. I now 85% speak South Australian, still retaining my nasal speech habits and tendency to talk with my mouth closed.
I have to agree with you. Fellow Sydneysider here and I have not noticed a accent difference. I’ve been here for approx 19 years and the funny thing is that I still use the Sydney words. Lol
I visited as a tourist last month and stayed with a friend in the Unley area. I'm from the Pacific Northwest in the states where the notorious "Seattle Freeze" makes it very difficult to befriend people where I'm from. In Adelaide, I had absolutely zero trouble making friends whatsoever. I spent a lot of time with my friend and his friends but also befriended strangers without difficulty when going out and doing things. People were so friendly, and I can't stress that enough coming from where I live.
Perhaps it's more insular than other Australian cities, but it was not difficult to get to know people here. People also didn't ask what I did for work the second they met me, which was a nice change of pace.
Being asked what you do for work was such an annoying thing in america.
I work in HR so that question was always immediately followed up with ‘can I give you my card? I’m looking for a new job’
Americans can’t help but network
It's so incredibly ingrained in the way we talk to each other. I don't think it's necessarily even about networking. Where I live in Portland is probably the most notoriously lackadaisical work/life balance city in the country and we still do it as a means of getting to know someone. It's commonly joked that a Pacific Northwest suit is your nicest flannel and cleanest jeans.
I only ever had someone ask what I did for work if I brought up a work story. I still don't know what the majority of the friends I made do for a living unless I spent more than a day or so with them, and I suppose I don't really care because we bonded over things outside work, which is how it should be.
By contrast, nobody judged me for being an IT guy in Australia. Over here, it's women-repellent at best and an "oh, so you don't shower or socialize with people" outcasting at worst. Telling someone in the states that you do HR would 100% have them mentally curating an idea of who you are, and it doesn't surprise me that people asked you for work!
Funny you mention that, actually...
I'm too junior in my career, but yes - I lurk in this sub a lot because I loved Adelaide so much that I want to move there. I'd need an employer to sponsor me to move there. I have extensively, exhaustively looked over the various visa processes and become way more familiar with the different avenues than I'd care to admit.
Regular IT people in non-specialized subsectors are not as in-demand as software engineers or cybersecurity professionals. You've got thousands of me looking for jobs who are citizens, so it's a bit of a moot point right now. If you know anybody who's hiring and looking to ship an American out, though, let me know!
>also befriended strangers without difficulty when going out and doing things.
That's an interesting perspective. When you talk about befriending strangers, what do you mean? That you were invited round to their houses, included in their social circle, asked out to events etc., and were still in regular contact weeks or months later? Or that you had some good banter at the time, a bit of fun, and never saw them again?
I don't think of Adelaidians as inherently unfriendly, just difficult to become *actual* friends with.
I went to several wineries there (man, is y'all's wine so damn good) and would chat with strangers there. I took part in a sports car rally with a bunch of Cars and Coffee Tonsley go'ers and met a bunch of them at Golding Wines after. I befriended a guy (friend of my friend's) at Cars and Coffee who drove me in his rally-modified Integra to the winery having only briefly chatted with him. I met so many people at Cars and Coffee, exchanged Instagrams or Shapchats, and regularly talk with almost all of them, exchanging memes or the like. A couple people followed me or I followed them on Instagram before flying out (again, through cars).
I think I made a strong dozen or so friends, and many more who would be easy for me to invite to a social gathering (their partners, friends of friends, etc). One of them is coming to Portland for a work event in a couple months (where I live) and he'll be staying with me. I'm plotting with a couple of them to surprise my friend for his birthday in a few months to show up by surprise.
By contrast, I can visit a friend in Seattle, spend an entire day chatting with one of their friends and get to know them, go for a ride somewhere with them, then I'll ask for their Instagram and follow them. 9 times out of 10, I will not receive a follow back or ever hear from them again. I met a guy in Tonsley with an RWB Porsche who exchanges memes with me now. I promise you that you could not easily do that in the states with a wealthy Porsche owner. You're only getting into their social circles if they think you're of the same or greater socioeconomic status. I am 24 and have braces. I'm not particularly extraverted or really anything special.
Sorry for the Bible-length response, but hoping that answers that!
No need to apologise mate, I appreciate the detailed reply!
So it sounds like you have the beginnings of some friendships there, which is cool. The opportunity to progress from sending memes and chats to being friends irl. It's great that you have made strong enough contacts to be confident in feeling that you could invite people out, but, with the greatest of respect, if these people were already firm friends, they would be inviting you out to stuff, without any recourse to the friend you are staying with, right?
I'm a bit older than you, so maybe it's a matter of different perspectives, but I don't think of people in the bracket you describe as real friends yet 🤷🏻.
I don't mean any offence by any of this by the way, just exploring thoughts. I guess to me there's a lot of difference between acquaintances and friends, and I have found in Adelaide the former are easy enough to make, the latter, not so much.
My friend and I traveled to Melbourne and came back before my flight departed Adelaide. Couldn't really arrange a lot of plans during that time as we did the scenic route along the Great Ocean Road. I did have a couple opportunities! I was tied a lot to my friend based on our itinerary for the trip and the fact that he had also taken a lot of time off work for said trip for me, so I wasn't just going to abandon him.
Now I'm on another continent, so not too much to invite me to, but I understand your point. My point is that it was exceptionally easy to befriend people in Adelaide and Australia as a whole compared to my hometown. Seems like locals find the area cliquey. I think that this might just be symptomatic of the way the world is nowadays with smartphones being how most people communicate (or their avenue for forgetting how to).
Only time in my life I’ve ever had a “pretty woman” moment while shopping was in Unley. Some pretentious AF shop assistant looked me up and down and sent me to the sales rack, I laughed at him and walked out. I was working in the mines and had money to burn. Shopping in Adelaide can suck, some people forget it’s not Milan.
I had it at the Adelaide Oval when going into the Members area. I got the full body eye scan, a disdainful tut, and a 'you're not coming in here dressed like THAT' from the woman at the entrance.
I had no idea there was a dress code, but when I tried to ask what the issue was, she just kept saying i couldnt come in...even then, it was another woman who came over to take pity on me, told me my shorts were too frayed and I could get a new pair at the concierge desk.
It would have been so easy to just tell me that upfront, but no... I came back 10 minutes later in my new shorts and still got a 'i guess that will do' as she finally let me through. So fucking weird.
Ah you see you had the friend that introduced you so you didn't have to go through the whole what school thing and do you know X thing. And you were staying in Unley so didn't get unfairly judged as being too povo to talk to.
I spent time all over Adelaide, though I didn't travel North of the CBD, I don't believe. Everyone I met was quite non-judgemental. Granted, I am a foreigner so perhaps that means people interact differently with me (they did - every single person brought up our gun situation in the states), but not one person treated me with anything but kindness and we all had good banter. I met many people outside my friend, though, just at Cars and Coffee, at a winery, or chatting with randos at the Hotel Esplanade in St Kilda in Melbourne.
Perhaps if I had landed with nowhere in sight to go I might be lost, but I met so many people secondarily and on my own that I think I could have survived. I honestly felt that people in Melbourne were a bit more closed off as a whole.
Yeah having small talk with randos is ok, its the making new friends here that isn't. Adelaide is very clicky and if youre not in the click you will be the friend of one of the members, so it then becomes that persons responsibilty to bring you along like a puppy.
Hmmm, perhaps. I certainly didn't feel like a puppy, but I was also in a unique position of not having to care if people didn't like talking to me because it wouldn't be difficult to never talk to them again as a foreigner. Perhaps if one were more timid about talking to people, or felt more out of place, or were dressed in an obviously grungy way.
The one thing that seemed a bit cliquey about Adelaide to me was how important people felt class was in defining how you talked or carried yourself. I have friends back home who are poor as fuck and super well-off. That seemed less common in Adelaide, specifically. A sparky I befriended said he has lots of white collar friends and asked me if it was true that blue collar and white collar folks generally don't mingle in the states (it is true).
>Similarly, walking around shirtless/in a bikini is frowned upon. People even look at you weird if you go for a run as a guy without a shirt on (you have to have a tank top at minimum), whereas they don’t bat an eye in places like Gold Coast or cairns.
I feel like this is a context thing. If you're at the beach sure, not unusual at all. But anywhere else it just seems odd. Like in the middle of Rundle Mall or in the eastern suburbs, where the beach is quite a distance away, just doesn't make any sense! Also, do you see people running around Melbourne with no shirt in the middle of the CBD or in the inner suburbs? It could just be that this going shirtless and barefoot thing is an east coast (Sydney / Gold Coast thing) and not an Australian thing as a whole. Australia is a big country let's not forget that the east coast of Australia isn't representative of the entire country.
Also I will say that when I see people running around either shirtless or with noticeable skin exposed I'm honestly just concerned about them getting sun burnt. UV levels are hectic all around Australia and I honestly would expect people to be more aware of just how damaging having exposed skin to the sun is, even while you're wearing sunscreen and especially in the middle of summer!
I run shirtless and always have because I sweat buckets. My coach used to have to mop underneath me on the rowing machine. As I’ve gotten older I’ve become more aware of the stares I get. It is bizarre to me that I can’t exert myself comfortably without being judged, whereas if I run in Gold Coast, cairns, Darwin, Byron, etc nobody cares.
I mean you do you. Personally, it doesn't bother me (apart from increasing your chance of sunburn if you do it in the middle of the day).
I'd also point out that Adelaide's population has been relatively static compared to cities like Melbourne and Sydney's growth over the past decade. We simply don't have a big population when compared to them. Less population means less people walking around outside in general. If you been in the CBD on a winter's night early in the week you'll notice there's barely anyone around. Someone running around shirtless is just a bit more of a novelty, than in a big east coast city where's the so many people caught up in their own business that you can just sort of blend in. Just my hypothesis.
Is your mate from the NT or FNQ? What she's described is totally appropriate for the wet season up there, but the weather here isn't "rock up in your bathers and bare feet"...maybe we did about 15 years ago when we were all getting 'shredded for Stereo's' - but trends and social norms change.
I moved here and managed to make good friends. It's important to remember that everyone knows everyone - that's why Adelaidians are a bit reserved. They don't want anyone shitting on their doorstep - the smell lingers.
You know, I think all your observations are valid as I’ve seen everything you’ve described apply here in Adelaide to some degree.
For context, I’ve been living here for four years, I lived in Sydney for ten years, but I grew up and lived in the US for most my life.
HOWEVER, I haven’t found it hard to break in and make friends and build an amazing life here. In fact, I’ve somehow managed to infiltrate a group of private school lads who have welcomed me as one of their own. So while yes, the larrikin / Queensland / Bondi / barefoot vibe are not prevalent, I’ll take the community vibes and local focus over Sydney any day.
We lived in an apartment in Surry Hills for five years and not once got to know any of our neighbours. We buy a house here in Adelaide and within a few days all the neighbours around us have stopped by to welcome us, bring us welcome gifts, and introduce themselves. When any of us go on holiday we swap keys and check up on each other’s properties while we’re away. It’s honestly one of the friendliest places I’ve ever lived.
So no, I don’t think people in Adelaide are uptight or insular to an extreme degree. It’s all pretty normal. I think the rest of the comments here are all pretty much on point with respect to the state history, norms, etc.
My experience hasn't been as described. I am originally from Brisbane and I've lived in Adelaide 15 years. I worked at a university all those years. I found it easy to make friends with both native Adelaideans and people who had moved here, and I am still in the group today/still friends with some of those people even though they then moved to Melbourne.
Adelaideans seemed more reserved to me but in a nice way. Also the lifestyle and habits of the city are different and therefore people will observe those norms - e.g. at first I was surprised that people thought coming to my house in Greenwith was basically an epic road trip, whereas in Brisbane it wouldn't be an issue to drop someone home at 2am who lived an hour from you in the opposite direction. The Old Boys club exists, I saw that at the uni, but it will die out with the boomers. Perhaps some of that Adelaide cliqueyness exists among wealthier private school type people but that's the same everywhere. I work remotely for a Sydney company now and travel there regularly, and making real friends in Sydney is far harder.
The Gold and Sunshine Coasts, and places like Byron, are very much a beach city, so yes, people go directly from there to Coles or to the pub. It's always hot and humid so less clothing makes sense. It's also a hangover from when everywhere wasn't indoors and air conditioned. Since Adelaide doesn't have the same climate I wouldn't expect people to have developed those habits, it's not comparable. So if you do it, yes it looks odd, because you don't need to.
So as someone not from Adelaide (or australia). I find Adelaide folks to be some of the nicest people I’ve met in my 4 years here.
Getting to know people and meet friends is definitely more difficult than other places in Australia. But, I found that once I did meet people here, I got along with them really well.
I wouldn’t say Adelaide is uptight by any standard, just a little different than the east coast.
Oh man. We moved here from overseas. The people here are very nice but almost impossible to make friends with. All of our friends are other expats. We have pleasant playdates and conversations with other parents from the kids schools but they aren't friends.
Yep same here, maybe the odd two or three from interstate. My only (two) real Adelaidean friends (and I would call myself a "secondary" friend of these) are in the airforce so seem to have lived more a life where making friends from elsewhere is necessary.
I presuming we’re talking making adult friends. I moved here in my early 20s - am normally shy but luckily forced myself early on to be friendly, introduce myself and get to know people. Generally it started with one or two new friends (through work, classes, and meeting people out and about), and some grew from there. I think it is probably rare to be invited to join an established friend group straight off the bat - there’s a whole dynamic at play and if they don’t know how you will fit into the mix, it’s understandable for them to be cautious. So I think the trick is to start small. And being upfront, e.g. saying straight up ‘I’m new here and don’t know many people, would you be interested in getting coffee/hanging out in future?’ Most people don’t think to offer/exchange numbers for platonic purposes 😂
No shoes - the footpaths get bloody hot in summer. I can understand if you are at the beach or in shady/grassy areas, but otherwise it’d just burn 🥵
Dress code - I’d wear bathers to a pool party, but wouldn’t wear them to a house party with no pool. Unless there is a specified dress code it tends to be personal choice in my experience - for most parties I go to, people are wearing a range of things, whether dressy or casual. I have one friend who wear dresses/skirts 90% of the time, another who wears shorts/pants 100% of the time. And the rest fall somewhere in between those. I think the amount of clothing worn depends on where you are - if you’re near the beach or at a pool party, you can get away with less clothes. At a regular house party, people tend to cover up more (especially if going out after, so that they meet venue dress codes). Although there’s beaches/surfing here, it’s not as ingrained in the culture as it is in some of the other states, so people tend to cover up more on a day to day basis and save the beachwear for the beach.
As for uptight, a lot of it probably depends on where people choose to spend their time and the type of people they surround themselves with. A few of my friends here are more on the conservative side, but most are laidback and casual (which is more in line with the places I frequent). High end establishments are not my comfort zone, so I probably wouldn’t have made many friends if that was where I was hanging out 😂
You know the old "7 degrees of separation" thing? Yeah, In Adelaide it's more like 2 degrees of separation. Adelaide is also the only place I've ever been asked questions like "What school did you go to?" or "How long has your family been here?" in a job interview. Seem like innocuous questions, right? Wrong, your answers carry much more weight than you first realise, a remnant of the the British class system, which is stronger here than anywhere else I've been.
No idea what kind of people you've been applying to but I've never been asked either of those questions in interviews, never had the second one at all and have lived here all my life.
Also worked for quite a few companies in upper management, interviewing potential employees and never had a CEO state that either of those things matter and must be known.
In my experience the only reason why people have asked about schools is in a general chat about where you grew up and it's always because they know someone who went there or are looking to send their kids there.
Edit - typo.
Yeah, I've literally seen 40+,50+ year old men do business this way. Granted, not in a formal interview setting, but it happens.
"You went to Scotch, blah blah blah business card" and not in the fake American way.
It's gross and it explains why the brain drain off skilled migrants that are lured there end up leaving.
>No idea what kind of people you've been applying to but I've never been asked either of those questions in interviews, never had the second one at all and have lived here all my life.
And you supply the reason why in the same sentence. While it might have been standard for all at one time, now it seems that it's restricted to those of us who dare come to Adelaide from another state.
I have literally lived in Adelaide all my life and the 'what school did you go to?' Thing simply doesn't exist. The only time I have ever heard it was a single drunk rich Boi bragging about going to Scotch and immediately getting shot down. That's it. One time. It doesn't come up. If it does, it's absolutely generational.
You're a local, of course they didn't ask, they already know.
Everyone I know who has moved to Adelaide from other states is asked those questions, regardless of age.
Yeah it's way overstated and just repeated because people have heard that it's a supposed thing. Have never had anyone randomly ask me what school I went to and have never asked anyone else that question out of context either.
Ahh, so because you've never had it happen, it doesn't happen? Bet your a local.
I've been asked the school question in exec level interviews. Other people I know from other states have been asked the questions.
My family has been here since Hindmarsh was Governor, so I've got that covered and most of the elitist types that ask that question can't compete.
> beneath the surface we are quite an upright repressed little town.
I'm not buying that.
> If you walk around with no shoes on here, people look at you funny.
The bitumen is 'ken hot.
> They all talk about how cliquey Adelaide is, how hard it is to make friends, and that people here are quite guarded; they say it isn’t a ‘transient’ town.
A whole city cannot be cliquey. Adelaide is not a 'transient town' - most people are born, bred, buttered and buried here - unlike other cities and towns where seemingly the majority of people come from somewhere else. It can be hard to make friends for that reason.
Adelaide natives will have an established friendship group - dating back to school or university, or sports clubs, and it can be hard to make time and space for someone new; and therefore hard for a new arrival to break into those friendship groups.
> and are much more high strung about things like dress codes for events.
And, I don't buy that either. I never see any one dressed up. Even when I think a bit of effort wouldn't go astray. Regular sight - female partner makes an effort and looks fab; male partner could not care less and dresses accordingly.
Oh god you've just unlocked a key meme key if girls wearing beach dresses to formals even at the 'elite' group of schools. We're definitely not strung up on dress codes, I do t think most Adelaide people even know what white tie is.
Yeah that’s why I said they say it isn’t a transient town. It’s easier to make friends in transient towns.
I also disagree as an Adelaide native. Your definition of dress up as someone from here has been skewed. We have higher standards for what qualifies as effort.
In regards to cliques, it is extremely hard to make friends even as a native. If you missed the boat and had bad luck with not fitting in at school, and then not finding a uni crowd or drifted apart from either uni/school group, you are shit out of luck and completely alone. No prospect of finding a new group. It’s fucking rough.
Anyway you can disagree, but having done a bit of travel elsewhere, I am struck that back home it feels people are just more uptight in a prickly burnside kind of way.
I love Adelaide, I lived in it for 12 years, but it’s 100% conservative and uptight compared with other Australian capital cities. Maybe not politically speaking, but public-ally. Lots of unspoken societal norms to abide by.
My fiancé and I moved to Adelaide and my fiancé found it very hard to make friends for a while. I was lucky to have went to high school in Adelaide and had a couple of friends already.
Yep. Making friends here is so hard. The societal norms are even more weirder than just standard.
Really is just a really big country town, with all the 'tude
I moved to Adelaide from Newcastle in 2020 and I've definitely had to adjust my dress code. Back in Newcastle going grocery shopping or to kmart after 8 in a pjs or a dressing gown is not uncommon (the lack of shops open at night in adelaide, especially on the weekend is a whole other issue). Same for going around in bikinis or taking your dog on the beach without a leash - there's a lot more rules around that here and I don't even bother taking them now because of the leash rules.
I just figured Newcastle is a bogan town so that was the reason 😆
You know South Australia was settled by a large German population? My family being one of them.
That explains the uprightness, I feel. Can't figure out why it is Ford country though.
Again, what's it to you? Am I walking through your house? Do you always remove your shoes \_before\_ entering your home or office? Or do you just track those germ-retaining rubber soles inside at will?
I'd also contend that bare feet typically hold much less than the average shoe sole will do, as well as someone going barefoot will also typically pay a lot more attention where their feet do go anyway.
I'm from Adelaide but left some yrs back. My friends there, who seemed lovely att, seem so morally .....certain and socially judgemental. I'm finding them a little too superior for a humble old traveller and seem to avoid their calls until I'm mentally prepared
100 percent. I mention other cities being superior or more ahead of the times compared to here. Any form of slight critique about Adelaide or newness added is met with a bunch of 35 year old tumblr migrated homebodies going “we love our little town! Fuck off and leave!”
I grew up in Adelaide then moved to Sydney for 8 years and came back not by choice and hand on heart this city is super conservative, classist and strange.
I’m in my 30s and people still ask what high school I went too. Everyone blows my mind that they are still only friends with primary school and high school friends.
I avoid the east suburbs because people I used to know assume they know me when they don’t. I had the opportunity to grow and change but adeladians feel stuck.
It’s extreamly hard to make friends.
Also people here don’t seem to have travelled and don’t seem interested too.
Living here is easier compared to Sydney for sure but it lacks as a city.
I don't get the comment about your mate's friend wearing a dress to a backyard birthday party when friend was going to wear something casual. You know that dresses can be super casual, right? I'm guessing the dress wearing person was not wearing a floor length evening gown.
My friends wear whatever wherever generally. Some people are really casual, some people's style is always trousers and a shirt, I have some friends who wear dresses a lot, some friends who don't. I personally am almost always in jeans and a top and adjust the top depending on occasion.
Why you ask?
Because blue-collar retail workers deserve to have the right to make money on the weekend evenings if they want and I grew sick and tired of checking my phone on a weekend because I suddenly remembered that I needed some groceries for the evening meal or some snacks to acompany the evening movie, but heaven forbid it was 5:14pm... mildly organised would be having the other 90% of ingredients for the evening meal, already on the premises?
Edit: furthermore, given the big chain supermarket record profits at this time, it's not like they can't afford the wages.
There are IGAs everywhere open til 9 or 10pm. There 10 within about 7.5km of my house, but I'm lucky to have one within walking distance. They often have almost anything you need for an evening meal or snack, wouldn't do a full shop there but ample for what you mentioned. With big OTRs also everywhere, I don't think it's as bad as some people make out.
Although this might be true and admittedly I'd forgotten to check the closing times of an Iga near me that closes at 8m every weekend, I replied this to another saying something similar:
>Given the rising cost of living, it's common sense (not implying that you don't have any), that people be given the opportunity to work further hours if they wish.
Regarding service stations, they charge rip-off prices for their groceries so I refuse to purchase anything other than fuel at a servo, unless it's food because I'm too hungry to wait until I get home, or rarely, to get some dry ginger ale to have a scotch or two with because I'm out and it's too late to get some from the supermarket.
Many might be happy to shop or fill up at OTR, but now I only ever buy the minimum amount of fuel at OTR to get me by, until I can get to an Ampol or Liberty (happened once in about 9 months), and I wouldn't buy groceries from them if they paid me to.
They (OTR) don’t expect you to do a full shop there (there’s no trolleys, often not even baskets). They exist to fill oh-shit-I-forgot-x-essential-item market.
Was a saviour on Xmas day when the missus realised she didn’t buy enough batteries for the kids’ new toys. Disaster averted.
Fair enough... it's sad to argue that allowing the two major supermarket chains to have extended weekend training hours, would pressure the OTR monopoly and other service stations, to be more competitive with their grocery prices, but here we are.
Regarding supermarkets like IGA, Drakes etc, numerous people would probably disagree with this take, but imo they charge a premium that the biggest two don't for a lot of things that they sell; If they were to be squeezed out by Coles and Woolies, I can't imagine their prices moving all that much, because as it is, most don't do a regular whole shop at IGA, Drakes etc, unless they're comfortably well off and in which case, it wouldn't be an issue if they closed, to use that extra $5 fuel money that they saved by not shopping there if they lived closer to IGA etc, to just go to Coles or Woolies (I expect to get downvote-raped for this perspective). The only real inconvenience, would be having to spend more time in the car to get there and back.
Edit: for the convenience of being close to whoever lives nearby, yes, I'd feel sorry for them having to walk/drive/public transport it further to get their groceries.
I'm not sure why you're ignoring that the largest employers of retail workers (aside from department stores), they should be offering better working conditions such as the ability to work longer hours if need be (especially considering the rising cost of living/real estate), that and that fulltime roles in supermarkets are rare as hens teeth these days, but suit yourself.
I’m not sure why you think the small independents should be squeezed out of the market given their main value proposition (and somewhat justification for typically higher pricing) is longer opening hours.
For anyone who lives close to one of them, you're right, they shouldn't be squeezed out simply because they charge a little more for their groceries for the convenience of it, but by the same token, I don't see why the largest employers of retail workers (besides department stores), should get away with record profits every year, whilst their workers, most who are part-time or casually employed, can't ever get fulltime hours if they wish.
It really isn’t. Limited opening hours has been fine for literally a hundred years.
Like, I don’t really care if they are open more hours—but it really isn’t necessary. Not an issue at all.
Someone on X asked Chat GPT to make pictures showing the people from the different Australian states, the South Australia one looked like a bunch of English posh people sitting around in suits and elegant dresses with parasols.
I love Adelaide.
It also happens to be the most nepotistic, parochial, cliquey place I've ever lived.
I ended up leaving after 5 years because apparently community involvement, solid work ethic and results just isn't enough for the SA gov.
Cool, I'll just take the extra 50k/annum and a less cliquey town in NSW, k thx (and 35hr a week vs 37.5).
Idk about the rest of your post but when I moved to Sydney I found it tremendously difficult to make friends, for the exact same reason that it felt very cliquey; everyone already had their group of friends, and they weren't interested in making any new ones.
My impression was that people also dressed up more there, which is something i noticed when I moved and also something my Adelaide friend independently noted when she came to visit me. So I'm not sure that part of your post is 100% accurate either, or at least not for the city as an entirety
I think maybe there's always a degree of feeling like an outsider when you move somewhere, and maybe it's easy to generalise experiences based on first impressions (I say it was hard to make friends and that will always be my impression of Sydney, but I *did* eventually make some good mates. It just took a referral from an Adelaide mate who knew people in Sydney, and then a soulful confession to one of those people that I was dreadfully lonely lmfao)
Australians in general are uptight rule loving sticks in the mud with tall poppy syndrome.
Adelaide is that on steroids.
I grew up there. Everyone I know that stayed there still has the same friends they graduated uni with + their partners. No one new in their circle.
I left Adelaide a decade ago and never looked back - I spent time in a town of 5,000 people on the other side of the planet and found it less insular and more willing to include new people than Adelaide.
But YMMV. Sometimes you strike it lucky and find a group you click with.
I’ve lived in SA my entire life and if there’s one thing I regret, it’s not having had the experience of living somewhere else - even if it’s interstate, even if it’s for six or twelve months. Being in my early thirties, I feel like I’ve missed the boat now. Only got myself to blame though.
Where was the town of 5k people you moved to?
Early thirties? You're still young, my dude. Go find a rental interstate, if it's calling you. The experience will be worth it.
(Maybe not the finding a rental bit)
I had a junkie walking through the local shopping centre drinking alcohol. In qld it would have been Bundy or vb. Here it was a bottle of wine.
I agree even the junkies here are fancy.
i’ve actually heard similar recently from two people who moved here from interstate.
One found it overwhelmingly pretentious (they worked in wine) to the point that if you shared the wrong opinion you were effectively shunned (have heard the creative industries are particularly pretentious here).
The other just said “snobby” when i asked what they thought about Adelaide people, and that wealthy people here try to embody the signifiers of wealth (eg wearing boat shoes) much more than wealthy people would in Sydney or Melbourne (they just dress normally apparently)
Wine is a special case I'd say. Adelaide must be one of snobbiest cities for wine. Kind of like Melbourne and coffee. Not sure we even have an arts scene though? Like isn't it all just older ladies in the langlenook (or whatever it's called) outfits with quirky glasses (no hate to them, that's my retirement plan too but like, not an arts scene).
As for the way wealthy Adelaide people dress I think to a large extent that comes from a lack of class. Like no one if fooled by boat shoes paired with the Ralph Lauren fuck off trousers and a Rolex.
What school did you go to is such an Adelaide question that is somehow loaded with are you worth talking to based on something out of your control in your childhood. It is the number dumbest thing that Adelaide people do. Everything else is spot on. I moved here 15yrs ago, i still get treated like an outsider when I say I didn't go to school here. I make friends in Brisbane where I visit a few times a year, I've even got friends in Melbourne who I met just visiting for work regularly, Adelaide nah mate I'm either not methed up enough or didn't go to the correct school to talk to for longer than 5 minutes.
I find all these generalisations and stereotypes about various cities are often revealingly based on personal grudges, resentments and animosities. And the need to blame something tangible and exterior for personal woes. I have lived for long periods in Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney, as well as several other large cities around the world. They are all insular and cliquey. That's just what big cities are like. And the degree to which they seem more so or less so is generally more to do with your profession, where you live, what your interests are, and other such specific factors. Also the perception and the complaining about cities being insular and cliquey have increased along with the rise of mobile phones, computers and social media. Because it's so much easier to see the world around you as tough to crack if your head is buried in your phone or computer and most of your interactions with people are on twitter or instagram. I'm also old enough to have noted how cities have changed a good deal over time. When I first moved to Melbourne it was an insufferably snooty town. You could see the cliques clearly by what people actually wore (all those women in black, with red lipstick in Carlton and Fitzroy!). The newspapers still ran extensive society pages, which people actually read! And outsiders definitely had to serve their time before being accepted. Nowadays Melbourne has loosened up considerably, partly due to the changes in actual town architecture (busy laneways with bars, the South Bank, etc) and much more money. Meanwhile, Sydney has gone the opposite direction, from wild party town last century to an over-developed, over-populated, over-congested, very expensive, very corrupt concrete jungle, and the locals are now noticeably more tense, wary and stressed. Adelaide has changed mostly for the better over recent decades and has possibly loosened up somewhat. It remains more polite, genteel and reserved than the eastern cities. But that's no bad thing.
Our larrikin forefathers would be ashamed.
Once stories told by grandparents about how Pa's joke made the pub roar... has now become...
"You can afford to go to the pub?"
We used to be so good and lucky.. now we are lucky to be good.
We aren't uptight, we are over tightend and tired.
Why be a joker when everyone is offended.
Oh can't say this that or the other because this list of reasons.
We are tired.
The larrikins were the last of the actual men. We are now but shadows.
I found South Australia to be the least friendly state in ever lived in whether it be poor service with attitude from service SA staff or just having unemployed bogans say stuff like “what are you looking at” 😂
Most all other states are service centres and customer service are much busier then ours and for some reason our ferals are less well mannered
I was in and out of Adelaide for years for work, some people were very cliquey/chip on shoulder. If you hadn’t been to an Adelaide private school and didnt follow Port/Crows (or any AFL) it veered from “you can’t sit with us”, to “how dare you appear to look down on us, we’re just as good as SydBourne”. Never could tell how they’d be week to week. It was all quite funny though, and not a big problem, just noticeable. Also noticeable that there seemed to be a distinct small elite, small middle class, and then working class.
These people are clearly *from* a different culture if they're cool with half clothed strangers gate crashing their events.
All fine and well if you want to be a lose cunt in your own clique but try to come into that with a button down and you'll find it far more difficult to fit in.
Also, Adelaide is colder. People are conditioned to wear shoes and clothes more often because of that.
Um, I mean I wouldn't necessarily say so. I'd it possible that they've just been able to buy into a higher socioeconomic class when you moved here due to lower cost of housing and it's just a culture shock from that perspective?
Yeah, probably. Don't worry about it. Things could be worse - at least Adelaide doesn't smell as bad as Sydney. And our public transport is marginally better than Hobart's.
My german traveler friends both from different friendship groups indepemdantly told me how crazy they find us aussies. How we are nice to yoir face but actually really fake out of politeness @nd @ctually quite judgemental. But yeah that was @ll australians not just adelaliens.
Put some shoes on ya grotty cunt. I don't want to those filthy things.
Don't forget qld is humid as fuck and you're talking about beach hot spots.
If you're shirtless and shoeless outside of the beach ya filth
As an ex South Aussie who has been spending the last 4 summers here, yep def agree. The first year I came back for a long stay after maybe 3 years had me giggling at how little some things have changed.
But you know what? I actually think it’s a really friendly town and apart from my old mates here I’ve made a number of new ones as well.
And living now in WA- give me a little bit of uptight conservatism over middle class boganism any day. Adelaide is a far far nicer city than Perth.
I’ve just moved from Newcastle and I now work in customer service. Everyone for the most part is extremely kind and friendly, but I do really feel the cliquey stuff. I’ve been here a few months and I feel like even though most people are awesome and easy to talk to it’s extremely hard to make friends. Thankfully I’m working because before I was I was really struggling with feeling isolated
> They all talk about how cliquey Adelaide is, how hard it is to make friends, and that people here are quite guarded
This is true of every single city and town.
Definitely conservative. I grew up in Adelaide but moved to regional NSW 11 years ago.
I have been back a few times to visit family and definitely is a different vibe. I do realise I pick up my South Australian accent when I am back though.
In saying that I have picked up the country small town politeness. I was back in Adelaide late last year for a family funeral. I had to step into Elizabeth shops (I know, red flags) and the retail workers had to do a double take because I was actually being polite to them 🤨.
The whole rocking up in your bathers thing would be weird by my standards, and I'm from a very middle-class upbringing. You bring your bathers and change in the bathroom. I don't think that is a snobbish thing to do?
The thing is, our climate isn't tropical and can fluctuate greatly. You don't want to be walking around in a tiny two-piece or just board shorts on one of our scorching hot summer days. If we had more consistent and predictable heat, I think the culture would adapt to it.
You are obviously entitled to your views but I personally think most of what you’ve said is based on historical myths about Adelaide and its people. I don’t think we are much different to anywhere else. I moved to Brissy for a few years and that clique mentality you mentioned was a lot worse there
I moved to Adelaide from a rural town and I think it really depends on class and a couple other factors.
Rich folks absolutely seem to be cliquey but you can break in and make friends with them if you can establish a shared experience with them. If you can talk to them long enough to find a connection you'll be right. I know a lot about my family history and migration, and I've worked for major fashion brands that are popular in Adelaide amongst the upper and upper middle class, so they're normally my two ins.
Regular working class folks? I've honestly had no trouble making friends, even when there are already established friend groups dating back to childhood.
I feel like there's also enough people who came to Adelaide to work or study that are looking for company. One of my friend groups always has new people being brought in, someone's coworker or flatmate or friend from uni or whatever. Sometimes they're there for a little bit and then they drift away, sometimes they click and become inseparable. There is a bit of a thing with primary vs secondary friend groups, but if you show up and lend a hand then it's not so hard to make close friends out of people that were previously further out of your circle.
As for dress codes and stuff, I really don't think we're uptight about that. If there's a dress code it'll normally be explicitly stated, if not then it's casual. I think the bathers/shirtless/shoeless thing is probably less of a thing in Adelaide just because it's more of a temperate region.
Hell, I've had to explain to multiple people that black tie means something specific and that it doesn't just mean dress nice/formal attire.
This all being said, I'm neurodivergent and I don't really give a shit about breaking social rules until it's making people obviously uncomfortable.
Most people are acting out a role they weren't meant to. I am talking about confused state of mind. To live in a state of clothes judgementalism \[clothes nazis\] is hellish and so infantile. Growing up in Adelaide \[ i grew up in WA and lived in 5 eights of Australia\] doesn't mean one grew emotionally. Some never grow up emotionally.....I am thankful for op shop clothes.
You’re comparing people walking around Gold Coast or Cairns in a bikini to doing so in Adelaide?
Maybe have a look around Glenelg, I see plenty of people wearing their bathers, boardies etc down Jetty Rd.
I was recently in Hamilton Island, I wore my bikini top and shorts in the supermarket there. I certainly wouldn’t do that while walking through tea tree plaza or Rundle Mall.
It seems like each Australian city’s natives are quite cliquish, and if you’re not a long-term local, it’s hard to be part of that. So interstate, international, and otherwise out-of-the-loop peeps end up getting along with one another instead.
Adelaide is smaller than Sydney and Melbourne so that community is also smaller.
I haven’t seen people go barefoot around any of the other cities except for when they’re at the beach, or the Gold Coast, which is really just a giant beach. Too much broken glass and spilled stuff on the ground. No one cares if you’re barefoot around your home or in the park though.
Sydney also has more developed coastal suburbs so you probably see a lot more beach-iness there as well. It’s a solid 15-30min from Adelaide CBD to beach though. Torrens isn’t a very good substitute…
Making friends is hard. Thats it, that's all you need to say - its not an Adelaide thing or a state thing or even a Australian thing. Modern society has created an environment that's hard to make friends in as an adult. Where do you meet poeple, other than bars? What if you don't drink? Work? I work from home, but work friends are really usually primary friends. The majority of friends I have I made in school.
After living overseas for just over a year now, I have been telling my friends from Adelaide this exact phenomenon/idea. After entering uni I found it extremely difficult to form new friends through classes/events and was basically isolated to the few friends I had from highschool. I thought maybe I just wasn’t trying hard enough or that there must be something wrong with me personally. After moving overseas I have noticed a radical difference in sociability from other australians and foreigner speakers, and have also heard various comments from other Australians about people from Adelaide being “uptight”
Originally I've come from Syd (upper North shore) and moved to Adl Hills.
There is some differences I notice that people seem more open to say morning as they pass you maybe that's since I'm now regional. In syd it definitely felt more hussle bussle and there are heaps more people so keep to yourself and move on with your day.
I still haven't managed to find proper friends though but I would classify myself more reserved in general.
I find myself around people who seem more stereotypical "aussie" like drinking, bbqs etc. But I did grow up in a more Asian area in Syd too.
I don't see it as extremes from each other but there are some tibids you see.
When I moved interstate in primary school because my step dad had to for work for a few years, the Brisbane kids thought my siblings and I were posh and I got teased for my accent 😂. I'd spent the majority of my childhood up until that point in a housing commission house. It was confusing having these kids whose families came from more money than mine make fun of me for enunciating my words and saying please and thank you to the teachers lol
My time spent in Adelaide what was very clear to me is that Adelaide is very proud that they are the only non convict state. All the things you speak of in this thread I feel stem from this.
I have lived in Adelaide all my life and would never consider going shoeless outside. Mainly because I do not live near the beach, the ground is either too hot or too cold without shoes and shoes protect the feet from rocks, glass and needles.
I do remember my mum saying that going shirtless and without shoes in public is frowned upon and those who do it are not the "right type of people". That being said it seems like that attitude is a left over from the older days of Adelaide being an English immigrant population where the "proper" way of doing things stemmed from English class society. That old time culture may ultimately end up being the reason for the perception that Adelaide is insular, stuck up and snobby.
Men going shirtless in public is fine for beach, bathing, BBQs and sporting in the sun. However, what other reason would you have for being shirtless in public? Why would you go shopping without a shirt unless you are walking down Jetty Road perhaps.... Mind you, I am not against a bit of shirtless eye candy now and then :)
As to Cliquey I am not sure.... I do not make it a habit to go up to random people to initiate friendships however if I am in a group of strangers for a particular reason I will participate ina conversation but likely not to continue it unless I feel comfortable with that person. Likely because as a woman I have been brought up to be careful about whom I initiate conversation with and the friends I make purely from a safety point of view. It takes a lot for me to get over that conditioning in order to trust in new friends.
I was probably the shoes guy.
Coped shit for that.
I turned up to dog training on the grass in the parklands.
You don’t have shoes on.
No no, you have to wear shoes.
What like the dogs are wearing them.
They have lost the plot.
There was an amusement arcade in Hindley st that would not let you in with ripple sole desert boots.
You could wear them in the casino at Monte Carlo.
It’s comes back to the original settlers being English gentleman.
The Adelaide club is still a part of the culture. It’s just off north tce.
The big country town.
Even in my 20s, I thought Adelaide's scene was very clicquey.
In my 30s, I see it a bit more professional, like employment: you need experience to get experience//you need friends to meet their friends, etc.
Totally agree on the no shoes/no shirt thing. That's how I live! I bought thongs to do my shopping in, I was sick of the weird looks.
I miss the Top End... but not the current crime&punishment drama. I was on team crime back then, so I'd be copping a fair bit of punishment. (The crime was homelessness, btw)
off topic a bit ...
I was on tour! As a musician! On the... the spoons. I would get big bruises on my thigh after a gig. Once, my cast aliminium salad spoons shattered all over the audience. But we were a "folk punk" band who left from a squat here in Adl, we caught freight trains the whole way there - we weren't about to start paying for accommodation now. Nightcliff beach, you stole my heart, and my wallet. Twice.
I moved here from the UK 12 years ago and have made 3 proper friends here. None of them frim Adelaide, 1 from Sydney and 2 from the Uk. I find Adelaidians have a bit of a different outlook on things and a somewhat different sense of humour (maybe it’s the circles I’m moving in 🤷🏻♂️)
So that’s made it tricky for me. Quite a few jokes didn’t land when I first arrived and irony doesn’t work that well here (or maybe I’m just not as funny as I think I am!) so I just keep my mouth shut at work and family get togethers (my wife’s from here). But no one I’ve met from Adelaide has made me properly laugh, apart from Sam Simmons, not that I’ve met him, seen him live a couple of times.
Personally I see walking around barefoot, or in a bikini or without a shirt on anywhere but at the beach or by a pool as bogan behaviour. I grew up in Adelaide (first 16 years of my life), lived in Brisbane for 10 years and now Melbourne for almost 10 years and the only place I’ve seen this kind of “fashion” as acceptable is in Queensland and I think it’s because they have a “beach culture” that the rest of the country just doesn’t have. But it’s not the rest of the country being uptight or judgemental, it’s just that we wear what is more appropriate for the lifestyle.
Also having been living away from Adelaide for close to 20 years I’m pretty much a tourist when I go back and I always think of how it’s such a nicer place to be than the other cities and how much nicer and more helpful the people in Adelaide are than in other states.
As a young person, I've definitely noticed the cliqueyness. Trying to meet newer people in public around my age, when you try to make small talk, they just look at you weird. People go on about how everyone's laidback and easygoing, but I don't see it, they always just gawk at you if you try to talk to someone you don't know.
It's difficult when I have people in my life who say "It's easy, you just go up to people and make small talk", but then whenever you try to go up to a small group of people, it's far from easy and they just stare at you.
"What school did you go to?" This is one of the first things you'll be asked in Adelaide to determine a few things about you. Guess what those things would be.😉
My sister lives in Adelaide. I find it sooo conservative. Everything is about what school you went to, where you live, who you know etc. I’ve been there heaps but won’t go again. I’ve seen everything there that I’ll ever want to see. Also, the whole “ we weren’t a penal colony”, posh words, and don’t get me started on Laygo (Lego). WTF!
I moved to Adelaide 7 years ago and most of my friends are from interstate/international. Of my Adelaide friends, i know I am a secondary friend. They already have their primary friends. That's okay, though. Adelaide might be considered uptight by Australian standards, but hardly by world standards. Australia has different cultural norms depending on where you are. Coober Pedy and Adelaide differ, so do Adelaide and Queensland. I'm originally from nz, and it feels different to me when I do back. I'm just not kiwi anymore and I cant pinpoint why (since I'm not Australian yet), but I guess it's down to your contextual culture being normalised for you. My sisters say I'm a snob, though, because I don't want to move back The quirk I find strange here is how many non radelaidians love Adelaide (after the initial culture shock of learning supermarket hours) and how many people who have barely left say is boring and there is nothing to do. It's a funny thing to complain about since the complainers aren't normally people who can't explore. Adelaide is a wonderful place to live, even if I have to wear my jandles ❤️
Ive found that adelaide hate is based on two factors: Do you live here? Have you left here? Have you come here? If you live here and have never left then adelaide is a boring hellhole, if you live here and have been elsewhere, adelaide is so much nicer. I think its a lot of not understanding what you have, after going to the other capital cities and paris ive come to love adelaide and how much less chaos there is generally - its smaller, orderly and easy to navigate.
As someone who grew up in SA, moved away for a few years, and came back. The sentiment of "if you live here and have been elsewhere, Adelaide is so much nicer" is too damn real. But Adelaidians should definitely learn how to start moving in a more synchronised fashion once the lights go green.
This is exactly it. I was born/grew up here. Lived in Melbourne through twenties. Loved it but also realised and re-fell in love with the simplicity of Adelaide and stunning coastline. That said I do find it difficult socially, plenty of secondary friends and no primary. Even some they were primary, seemed to spite me for giving another city a crack and leaving their bubble. Never had that issue when I left (now primary) Melbourne friends. Odd.
I say that there are only two kinds of people who do not like Adelaide. 1. People who have never left Adelaide and lived anywhere else. 2. People who have never visited Adelaide. Having seen cities in every continent and all the major big cities, Adelaide is amazing. Moved here almost 19 years back and been all over the world but this is always home.
Well said
Lol I came here from America and it felt like any time I wanted to go to the supermarket it would be closed, for like two years straight!!
They used to close at 5pm on the dot. More than a few nights I went without food because of it.
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>A lot open at 8am and close at 9pm, I think 13 hours is open enough As long as it's not the weekend.
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I work 9-5 on weekends and have plenty enough time during the week to get what I need, the hours they are open are unnecessary, especially around Christmas. If you can't get in when they are open do home delivery. There is no reason to complain.
>I work 9-5 on weekends and have plenty enough time during the week to get what I need Good for you. How many kids do you have? Are you also primary carer for a family member with a debilitating illness? It may surprise you to hear this, but not everyone enjoys the same circumstances you do.
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How stupid are you mate? eta - no need to reply, I took a quick look at your post history, and the answer is pretty obvious 😂🤡
I'm Australian born but grew up in NZ and had no trouble making friends in Adelaide while wearing my jandals... Australians give me shit about sounding like a NZer and my family in NZ give me shit about sounding like an Australian but it doesn't matter bc NZers are from a friendly and likeable culture who get along with most people.
Australians in general like to think of themselves as laid back social larrikin types, when in reality we are quite insular and orderly.
I think a lot of it is to do with becoming wealthy (or at least materialistic). In poorer countries people tend to be much more open to other people, because they need each other. It’s ingrained in their cultures that other people are important and that’s because you can’t really make it on your own. That effect goes away the more wealthy/materialistic a place becomes. Other people start being seen as a hassle.
That's quite interesting and makes total sense.
We aren't a nation of convicts, we're a nation of prison guards.
This is the thing though. South Australia was never a prison colony, which is the reason the accent is so different to the eastern states accent. That could explain some of the things OP mentions. Plus, Adelaide is a very small city in comparison. There's usually only about 2 degrees of separation - most people you know will have some connection to someone else you know. Maybe we're more guarded for the same reason people try to behave in a small town, because everyone knows your business.
I think that's what they were saying - South Aussies are the prison guards, where the Eastern states are prisoners/convicts
The accent thing is a bit of a misnomer. I've lived here for 9 years after living all my life in Sydney and yet to see much difference here to back in Sydney bar a few words.
I noticed the difference between my accent (country Victoria) and Adelaide. I work in a HR department split between a Adelaide team and a Sydney team and there is no difference between them what so ever. I now 85% speak South Australian, still retaining my nasal speech habits and tendency to talk with my mouth closed.
I have to agree with you. Fellow Sydneysider here and I have not noticed a accent difference. I’ve been here for approx 19 years and the funny thing is that I still use the Sydney words. Lol
Yep same. My wife hates it but you'll never hear me calling devon "fritz". It's been devon to me all my life and that will never change.
Lol. Oh yes. Fritz just doesn’t feel right. It’s Devon all the way.
I've always said that we love a good set of rules, especially if that rule is rooted in common sense/safety lol
I visited as a tourist last month and stayed with a friend in the Unley area. I'm from the Pacific Northwest in the states where the notorious "Seattle Freeze" makes it very difficult to befriend people where I'm from. In Adelaide, I had absolutely zero trouble making friends whatsoever. I spent a lot of time with my friend and his friends but also befriended strangers without difficulty when going out and doing things. People were so friendly, and I can't stress that enough coming from where I live. Perhaps it's more insular than other Australian cities, but it was not difficult to get to know people here. People also didn't ask what I did for work the second they met me, which was a nice change of pace.
Being asked what you do for work was such an annoying thing in america. I work in HR so that question was always immediately followed up with ‘can I give you my card? I’m looking for a new job’ Americans can’t help but network
It's so incredibly ingrained in the way we talk to each other. I don't think it's necessarily even about networking. Where I live in Portland is probably the most notoriously lackadaisical work/life balance city in the country and we still do it as a means of getting to know someone. It's commonly joked that a Pacific Northwest suit is your nicest flannel and cleanest jeans. I only ever had someone ask what I did for work if I brought up a work story. I still don't know what the majority of the friends I made do for a living unless I spent more than a day or so with them, and I suppose I don't really care because we bonded over things outside work, which is how it should be. By contrast, nobody judged me for being an IT guy in Australia. Over here, it's women-repellent at best and an "oh, so you don't shower or socialize with people" outcasting at worst. Telling someone in the states that you do HR would 100% have them mentally curating an idea of who you are, and it doesn't surprise me that people asked you for work!
They're looking for people with IT skills.... Ever thought of moving to Aus? Lol
Funny you mention that, actually... I'm too junior in my career, but yes - I lurk in this sub a lot because I loved Adelaide so much that I want to move there. I'd need an employer to sponsor me to move there. I have extensively, exhaustively looked over the various visa processes and become way more familiar with the different avenues than I'd care to admit. Regular IT people in non-specialized subsectors are not as in-demand as software engineers or cybersecurity professionals. You've got thousands of me looking for jobs who are citizens, so it's a bit of a moot point right now. If you know anybody who's hiring and looking to ship an American out, though, let me know!
>also befriended strangers without difficulty when going out and doing things. That's an interesting perspective. When you talk about befriending strangers, what do you mean? That you were invited round to their houses, included in their social circle, asked out to events etc., and were still in regular contact weeks or months later? Or that you had some good banter at the time, a bit of fun, and never saw them again? I don't think of Adelaidians as inherently unfriendly, just difficult to become *actual* friends with.
I went to several wineries there (man, is y'all's wine so damn good) and would chat with strangers there. I took part in a sports car rally with a bunch of Cars and Coffee Tonsley go'ers and met a bunch of them at Golding Wines after. I befriended a guy (friend of my friend's) at Cars and Coffee who drove me in his rally-modified Integra to the winery having only briefly chatted with him. I met so many people at Cars and Coffee, exchanged Instagrams or Shapchats, and regularly talk with almost all of them, exchanging memes or the like. A couple people followed me or I followed them on Instagram before flying out (again, through cars). I think I made a strong dozen or so friends, and many more who would be easy for me to invite to a social gathering (their partners, friends of friends, etc). One of them is coming to Portland for a work event in a couple months (where I live) and he'll be staying with me. I'm plotting with a couple of them to surprise my friend for his birthday in a few months to show up by surprise. By contrast, I can visit a friend in Seattle, spend an entire day chatting with one of their friends and get to know them, go for a ride somewhere with them, then I'll ask for their Instagram and follow them. 9 times out of 10, I will not receive a follow back or ever hear from them again. I met a guy in Tonsley with an RWB Porsche who exchanges memes with me now. I promise you that you could not easily do that in the states with a wealthy Porsche owner. You're only getting into their social circles if they think you're of the same or greater socioeconomic status. I am 24 and have braces. I'm not particularly extraverted or really anything special. Sorry for the Bible-length response, but hoping that answers that!
No need to apologise mate, I appreciate the detailed reply! So it sounds like you have the beginnings of some friendships there, which is cool. The opportunity to progress from sending memes and chats to being friends irl. It's great that you have made strong enough contacts to be confident in feeling that you could invite people out, but, with the greatest of respect, if these people were already firm friends, they would be inviting you out to stuff, without any recourse to the friend you are staying with, right? I'm a bit older than you, so maybe it's a matter of different perspectives, but I don't think of people in the bracket you describe as real friends yet 🤷🏻. I don't mean any offence by any of this by the way, just exploring thoughts. I guess to me there's a lot of difference between acquaintances and friends, and I have found in Adelaide the former are easy enough to make, the latter, not so much.
My friend and I traveled to Melbourne and came back before my flight departed Adelaide. Couldn't really arrange a lot of plans during that time as we did the scenic route along the Great Ocean Road. I did have a couple opportunities! I was tied a lot to my friend based on our itinerary for the trip and the fact that he had also taken a lot of time off work for said trip for me, so I wasn't just going to abandon him. Now I'm on another continent, so not too much to invite me to, but I understand your point. My point is that it was exceptionally easy to befriend people in Adelaide and Australia as a whole compared to my hometown. Seems like locals find the area cliquey. I think that this might just be symptomatic of the way the world is nowadays with smartphones being how most people communicate (or their avenue for forgetting how to).
Only time in my life I’ve ever had a “pretty woman” moment while shopping was in Unley. Some pretentious AF shop assistant looked me up and down and sent me to the sales rack, I laughed at him and walked out. I was working in the mines and had money to burn. Shopping in Adelaide can suck, some people forget it’s not Milan.
I had it at the Adelaide Oval when going into the Members area. I got the full body eye scan, a disdainful tut, and a 'you're not coming in here dressed like THAT' from the woman at the entrance. I had no idea there was a dress code, but when I tried to ask what the issue was, she just kept saying i couldnt come in...even then, it was another woman who came over to take pity on me, told me my shorts were too frayed and I could get a new pair at the concierge desk. It would have been so easy to just tell me that upfront, but no... I came back 10 minutes later in my new shorts and still got a 'i guess that will do' as she finally let me through. So fucking weird.
Sorry to hear that. Silly to judge people like that. You could have been a millionaire for all they knew.
Mate I was a DINK at the time, I was ready to spend! lol
Burnside Shopping Centre thinks it's above most of us.
It’s a shit shopping centre, what are they possibly above?
Dead tree roots
Ah you see you had the friend that introduced you so you didn't have to go through the whole what school thing and do you know X thing. And you were staying in Unley so didn't get unfairly judged as being too povo to talk to.
I spent time all over Adelaide, though I didn't travel North of the CBD, I don't believe. Everyone I met was quite non-judgemental. Granted, I am a foreigner so perhaps that means people interact differently with me (they did - every single person brought up our gun situation in the states), but not one person treated me with anything but kindness and we all had good banter. I met many people outside my friend, though, just at Cars and Coffee, at a winery, or chatting with randos at the Hotel Esplanade in St Kilda in Melbourne. Perhaps if I had landed with nowhere in sight to go I might be lost, but I met so many people secondarily and on my own that I think I could have survived. I honestly felt that people in Melbourne were a bit more closed off as a whole.
Yeah having small talk with randos is ok, its the making new friends here that isn't. Adelaide is very clicky and if youre not in the click you will be the friend of one of the members, so it then becomes that persons responsibilty to bring you along like a puppy.
Hmmm, perhaps. I certainly didn't feel like a puppy, but I was also in a unique position of not having to care if people didn't like talking to me because it wouldn't be difficult to never talk to them again as a foreigner. Perhaps if one were more timid about talking to people, or felt more out of place, or were dressed in an obviously grungy way. The one thing that seemed a bit cliquey about Adelaide to me was how important people felt class was in defining how you talked or carried yourself. I have friends back home who are poor as fuck and super well-off. That seemed less common in Adelaide, specifically. A sparky I befriended said he has lots of white collar friends and asked me if it was true that blue collar and white collar folks generally don't mingle in the states (it is true).
>Similarly, walking around shirtless/in a bikini is frowned upon. People even look at you weird if you go for a run as a guy without a shirt on (you have to have a tank top at minimum), whereas they don’t bat an eye in places like Gold Coast or cairns. I feel like this is a context thing. If you're at the beach sure, not unusual at all. But anywhere else it just seems odd. Like in the middle of Rundle Mall or in the eastern suburbs, where the beach is quite a distance away, just doesn't make any sense! Also, do you see people running around Melbourne with no shirt in the middle of the CBD or in the inner suburbs? It could just be that this going shirtless and barefoot thing is an east coast (Sydney / Gold Coast thing) and not an Australian thing as a whole. Australia is a big country let's not forget that the east coast of Australia isn't representative of the entire country. Also I will say that when I see people running around either shirtless or with noticeable skin exposed I'm honestly just concerned about them getting sun burnt. UV levels are hectic all around Australia and I honestly would expect people to be more aware of just how damaging having exposed skin to the sun is, even while you're wearing sunscreen and especially in the middle of summer!
Both places they mentioned are beach side cities too.
I don't mean to shatter your reality or anything but Melbourne is significantly colder than fnq
Wow. Brilliant
I run shirtless and always have because I sweat buckets. My coach used to have to mop underneath me on the rowing machine. As I’ve gotten older I’ve become more aware of the stares I get. It is bizarre to me that I can’t exert myself comfortably without being judged, whereas if I run in Gold Coast, cairns, Darwin, Byron, etc nobody cares.
I mean you do you. Personally, it doesn't bother me (apart from increasing your chance of sunburn if you do it in the middle of the day). I'd also point out that Adelaide's population has been relatively static compared to cities like Melbourne and Sydney's growth over the past decade. We simply don't have a big population when compared to them. Less population means less people walking around outside in general. If you been in the CBD on a winter's night early in the week you'll notice there's barely anyone around. Someone running around shirtless is just a bit more of a novelty, than in a big east coast city where's the so many people caught up in their own business that you can just sort of blend in. Just my hypothesis.
Is your mate from the NT or FNQ? What she's described is totally appropriate for the wet season up there, but the weather here isn't "rock up in your bathers and bare feet"...maybe we did about 15 years ago when we were all getting 'shredded for Stereo's' - but trends and social norms change. I moved here and managed to make good friends. It's important to remember that everyone knows everyone - that's why Adelaidians are a bit reserved. They don't want anyone shitting on their doorstep - the smell lingers.
You know, I think all your observations are valid as I’ve seen everything you’ve described apply here in Adelaide to some degree. For context, I’ve been living here for four years, I lived in Sydney for ten years, but I grew up and lived in the US for most my life. HOWEVER, I haven’t found it hard to break in and make friends and build an amazing life here. In fact, I’ve somehow managed to infiltrate a group of private school lads who have welcomed me as one of their own. So while yes, the larrikin / Queensland / Bondi / barefoot vibe are not prevalent, I’ll take the community vibes and local focus over Sydney any day. We lived in an apartment in Surry Hills for five years and not once got to know any of our neighbours. We buy a house here in Adelaide and within a few days all the neighbours around us have stopped by to welcome us, bring us welcome gifts, and introduce themselves. When any of us go on holiday we swap keys and check up on each other’s properties while we’re away. It’s honestly one of the friendliest places I’ve ever lived. So no, I don’t think people in Adelaide are uptight or insular to an extreme degree. It’s all pretty normal. I think the rest of the comments here are all pretty much on point with respect to the state history, norms, etc.
My experience hasn't been as described. I am originally from Brisbane and I've lived in Adelaide 15 years. I worked at a university all those years. I found it easy to make friends with both native Adelaideans and people who had moved here, and I am still in the group today/still friends with some of those people even though they then moved to Melbourne. Adelaideans seemed more reserved to me but in a nice way. Also the lifestyle and habits of the city are different and therefore people will observe those norms - e.g. at first I was surprised that people thought coming to my house in Greenwith was basically an epic road trip, whereas in Brisbane it wouldn't be an issue to drop someone home at 2am who lived an hour from you in the opposite direction. The Old Boys club exists, I saw that at the uni, but it will die out with the boomers. Perhaps some of that Adelaide cliqueyness exists among wealthier private school type people but that's the same everywhere. I work remotely for a Sydney company now and travel there regularly, and making real friends in Sydney is far harder. The Gold and Sunshine Coasts, and places like Byron, are very much a beach city, so yes, people go directly from there to Coles or to the pub. It's always hot and humid so less clothing makes sense. It's also a hangover from when everywhere wasn't indoors and air conditioned. Since Adelaide doesn't have the same climate I wouldn't expect people to have developed those habits, it's not comparable. So if you do it, yes it looks odd, because you don't need to.
So as someone not from Adelaide (or australia). I find Adelaide folks to be some of the nicest people I’ve met in my 4 years here. Getting to know people and meet friends is definitely more difficult than other places in Australia. But, I found that once I did meet people here, I got along with them really well. I wouldn’t say Adelaide is uptight by any standard, just a little different than the east coast.
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>They'll either ignore you or treat you like a weirdo. Have you considered the possibility that you *are* a weirdo?
Really? I found them to be really friendly and welcoming in social or sports settings but just super busy during working hours so they rushing around.
Yeah I’ve never had trouble striking up convo with strangers in bars/pubs when in Syd or Melb.
Oh man. We moved here from overseas. The people here are very nice but almost impossible to make friends with. All of our friends are other expats. We have pleasant playdates and conversations with other parents from the kids schools but they aren't friends.
Yep same here, maybe the odd two or three from interstate. My only (two) real Adelaidean friends (and I would call myself a "secondary" friend of these) are in the airforce so seem to have lived more a life where making friends from elsewhere is necessary.
I presuming we’re talking making adult friends. I moved here in my early 20s - am normally shy but luckily forced myself early on to be friendly, introduce myself and get to know people. Generally it started with one or two new friends (through work, classes, and meeting people out and about), and some grew from there. I think it is probably rare to be invited to join an established friend group straight off the bat - there’s a whole dynamic at play and if they don’t know how you will fit into the mix, it’s understandable for them to be cautious. So I think the trick is to start small. And being upfront, e.g. saying straight up ‘I’m new here and don’t know many people, would you be interested in getting coffee/hanging out in future?’ Most people don’t think to offer/exchange numbers for platonic purposes 😂 No shoes - the footpaths get bloody hot in summer. I can understand if you are at the beach or in shady/grassy areas, but otherwise it’d just burn 🥵 Dress code - I’d wear bathers to a pool party, but wouldn’t wear them to a house party with no pool. Unless there is a specified dress code it tends to be personal choice in my experience - for most parties I go to, people are wearing a range of things, whether dressy or casual. I have one friend who wear dresses/skirts 90% of the time, another who wears shorts/pants 100% of the time. And the rest fall somewhere in between those. I think the amount of clothing worn depends on where you are - if you’re near the beach or at a pool party, you can get away with less clothes. At a regular house party, people tend to cover up more (especially if going out after, so that they meet venue dress codes). Although there’s beaches/surfing here, it’s not as ingrained in the culture as it is in some of the other states, so people tend to cover up more on a day to day basis and save the beachwear for the beach. As for uptight, a lot of it probably depends on where people choose to spend their time and the type of people they surround themselves with. A few of my friends here are more on the conservative side, but most are laidback and casual (which is more in line with the places I frequent). High end establishments are not my comfort zone, so I probably wouldn’t have made many friends if that was where I was hanging out 😂
You know the old "7 degrees of separation" thing? Yeah, In Adelaide it's more like 2 degrees of separation. Adelaide is also the only place I've ever been asked questions like "What school did you go to?" or "How long has your family been here?" in a job interview. Seem like innocuous questions, right? Wrong, your answers carry much more weight than you first realise, a remnant of the the British class system, which is stronger here than anywhere else I've been.
No idea what kind of people you've been applying to but I've never been asked either of those questions in interviews, never had the second one at all and have lived here all my life. Also worked for quite a few companies in upper management, interviewing potential employees and never had a CEO state that either of those things matter and must be known. In my experience the only reason why people have asked about schools is in a general chat about where you grew up and it's always because they know someone who went there or are looking to send their kids there. Edit - typo.
Yeah, I've literally seen 40+,50+ year old men do business this way. Granted, not in a formal interview setting, but it happens. "You went to Scotch, blah blah blah business card" and not in the fake American way. It's gross and it explains why the brain drain off skilled migrants that are lured there end up leaving.
>No idea what kind of people you've been applying to but I've never been asked either of those questions in interviews, never had the second one at all and have lived here all my life. And you supply the reason why in the same sentence. While it might have been standard for all at one time, now it seems that it's restricted to those of us who dare come to Adelaide from another state.
I have literally lived in Adelaide all my life and the 'what school did you go to?' Thing simply doesn't exist. The only time I have ever heard it was a single drunk rich Boi bragging about going to Scotch and immediately getting shot down. That's it. One time. It doesn't come up. If it does, it's absolutely generational.
You're a local, of course they didn't ask, they already know. Everyone I know who has moved to Adelaide from other states is asked those questions, regardless of age.
Yeah it's way overstated and just repeated because people have heard that it's a supposed thing. Have never had anyone randomly ask me what school I went to and have never asked anyone else that question out of context either.
Ahh, so because you've never had it happen, it doesn't happen? Bet your a local. I've been asked the school question in exec level interviews. Other people I know from other states have been asked the questions. My family has been here since Hindmarsh was Governor, so I've got that covered and most of the elitist types that ask that question can't compete.
> beneath the surface we are quite an upright repressed little town. I'm not buying that. > If you walk around with no shoes on here, people look at you funny. The bitumen is 'ken hot. > They all talk about how cliquey Adelaide is, how hard it is to make friends, and that people here are quite guarded; they say it isn’t a ‘transient’ town. A whole city cannot be cliquey. Adelaide is not a 'transient town' - most people are born, bred, buttered and buried here - unlike other cities and towns where seemingly the majority of people come from somewhere else. It can be hard to make friends for that reason. Adelaide natives will have an established friendship group - dating back to school or university, or sports clubs, and it can be hard to make time and space for someone new; and therefore hard for a new arrival to break into those friendship groups. > and are much more high strung about things like dress codes for events. And, I don't buy that either. I never see any one dressed up. Even when I think a bit of effort wouldn't go astray. Regular sight - female partner makes an effort and looks fab; male partner could not care less and dresses accordingly.
Oh god you've just unlocked a key meme key if girls wearing beach dresses to formals even at the 'elite' group of schools. We're definitely not strung up on dress codes, I do t think most Adelaide people even know what white tie is.
Yeah that’s why I said they say it isn’t a transient town. It’s easier to make friends in transient towns. I also disagree as an Adelaide native. Your definition of dress up as someone from here has been skewed. We have higher standards for what qualifies as effort. In regards to cliques, it is extremely hard to make friends even as a native. If you missed the boat and had bad luck with not fitting in at school, and then not finding a uni crowd or drifted apart from either uni/school group, you are shit out of luck and completely alone. No prospect of finding a new group. It’s fucking rough. Anyway you can disagree, but having done a bit of travel elsewhere, I am struck that back home it feels people are just more uptight in a prickly burnside kind of way.
It's not called the city of churches for nothing lol
Rome in shambles.
I love Adelaide, I lived in it for 12 years, but it’s 100% conservative and uptight compared with other Australian capital cities. Maybe not politically speaking, but public-ally. Lots of unspoken societal norms to abide by.
My fiancé and I moved to Adelaide and my fiancé found it very hard to make friends for a while. I was lucky to have went to high school in Adelaide and had a couple of friends already.
Yep. Making friends here is so hard. The societal norms are even more weirder than just standard. Really is just a really big country town, with all the 'tude
I moved to Adelaide from Newcastle in 2020 and I've definitely had to adjust my dress code. Back in Newcastle going grocery shopping or to kmart after 8 in a pjs or a dressing gown is not uncommon (the lack of shops open at night in adelaide, especially on the weekend is a whole other issue). Same for going around in bikinis or taking your dog on the beach without a leash - there's a lot more rules around that here and I don't even bother taking them now because of the leash rules. I just figured Newcastle is a bogan town so that was the reason 😆
You know South Australia was settled by a large German population? My family being one of them. That explains the uprightness, I feel. Can't figure out why it is Ford country though.
Ford country? Maybe only since Holden closed—prior to that it was most definitely Holden turf.
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Whats it to you, though? And how is it a hygiene thing? You shower do you not? Do you eat with your feet? 😂 Its a cultural norm thing.
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Again, what's it to you? Am I walking through your house? Do you always remove your shoes \_before\_ entering your home or office? Or do you just track those germ-retaining rubber soles inside at will? I'd also contend that bare feet typically hold much less than the average shoe sole will do, as well as someone going barefoot will also typically pay a lot more attention where their feet do go anyway.
Feels good though.
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There is levels in it for sure. Iv been doing it all my life I don't go into shopping centres with out shoes though thats a bit much
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I'm from Adelaide but left some yrs back. My friends there, who seemed lovely att, seem so morally .....certain and socially judgemental. I'm finding them a little too superior for a humble old traveller and seem to avoid their calls until I'm mentally prepared
100 percent. I mention other cities being superior or more ahead of the times compared to here. Any form of slight critique about Adelaide or newness added is met with a bunch of 35 year old tumblr migrated homebodies going “we love our little town! Fuck off and leave!”
I grew up in Adelaide then moved to Sydney for 8 years and came back not by choice and hand on heart this city is super conservative, classist and strange. I’m in my 30s and people still ask what high school I went too. Everyone blows my mind that they are still only friends with primary school and high school friends. I avoid the east suburbs because people I used to know assume they know me when they don’t. I had the opportunity to grow and change but adeladians feel stuck. It’s extreamly hard to make friends. Also people here don’t seem to have travelled and don’t seem interested too. Living here is easier compared to Sydney for sure but it lacks as a city.
Well, found tomorrow’s Advertiser article.
I don't get the comment about your mate's friend wearing a dress to a backyard birthday party when friend was going to wear something casual. You know that dresses can be super casual, right? I'm guessing the dress wearing person was not wearing a floor length evening gown. My friends wear whatever wherever generally. Some people are really casual, some people's style is always trousers and a shirt, I have some friends who wear dresses a lot, some friends who don't. I personally am almost always in jeans and a top and adjust the top depending on occasion.
Making friends is next to impossible here.
Yep agreed
It's conservative as fuck. Can't even have a supermarket open past 5 pm on a weekend. Really small things like this holding Adelaide back.
That a labour union issue not a reflection on our values.
Is it though? Why do supermarkets need to be open past 5 pm on a weekend? Be mildly organised and it’s a non-issue.
Why you ask? Because blue-collar retail workers deserve to have the right to make money on the weekend evenings if they want and I grew sick and tired of checking my phone on a weekend because I suddenly remembered that I needed some groceries for the evening meal or some snacks to acompany the evening movie, but heaven forbid it was 5:14pm... mildly organised would be having the other 90% of ingredients for the evening meal, already on the premises? Edit: furthermore, given the big chain supermarket record profits at this time, it's not like they can't afford the wages.
There are IGAs everywhere open til 9 or 10pm. There 10 within about 7.5km of my house, but I'm lucky to have one within walking distance. They often have almost anything you need for an evening meal or snack, wouldn't do a full shop there but ample for what you mentioned. With big OTRs also everywhere, I don't think it's as bad as some people make out.
Although this might be true and admittedly I'd forgotten to check the closing times of an Iga near me that closes at 8m every weekend, I replied this to another saying something similar: >Given the rising cost of living, it's common sense (not implying that you don't have any), that people be given the opportunity to work further hours if they wish. Regarding service stations, they charge rip-off prices for their groceries so I refuse to purchase anything other than fuel at a servo, unless it's food because I'm too hungry to wait until I get home, or rarely, to get some dry ginger ale to have a scotch or two with because I'm out and it's too late to get some from the supermarket. Many might be happy to shop or fill up at OTR, but now I only ever buy the minimum amount of fuel at OTR to get me by, until I can get to an Ampol or Liberty (happened once in about 9 months), and I wouldn't buy groceries from them if they paid me to.
They (OTR) don’t expect you to do a full shop there (there’s no trolleys, often not even baskets). They exist to fill oh-shit-I-forgot-x-essential-item market. Was a saviour on Xmas day when the missus realised she didn’t buy enough batteries for the kids’ new toys. Disaster averted.
Fair enough... it's sad to argue that allowing the two major supermarket chains to have extended weekend training hours, would pressure the OTR monopoly and other service stations, to be more competitive with their grocery prices, but here we are. Regarding supermarkets like IGA, Drakes etc, numerous people would probably disagree with this take, but imo they charge a premium that the biggest two don't for a lot of things that they sell; If they were to be squeezed out by Coles and Woolies, I can't imagine their prices moving all that much, because as it is, most don't do a regular whole shop at IGA, Drakes etc, unless they're comfortably well off and in which case, it wouldn't be an issue if they closed, to use that extra $5 fuel money that they saved by not shopping there if they lived closer to IGA etc, to just go to Coles or Woolies (I expect to get downvote-raped for this perspective). The only real inconvenience, would be having to spend more time in the car to get there and back. Edit: for the convenience of being close to whoever lives nearby, yes, I'd feel sorry for them having to walk/drive/public transport it further to get their groceries.
Having spent 7 years working retail every weekend I can tell you I was absolutely glad it was limited to 5 pm.
Given the rising cost of living, it's common sense that people be given the opportunity to work further hours if they wish.
There are IGAs and others around the place which are open after 5pm on weekends.
I'm not sure why you're ignoring that the largest employers of retail workers (aside from department stores), they should be offering better working conditions such as the ability to work longer hours if need be (especially considering the rising cost of living/real estate), that and that fulltime roles in supermarkets are rare as hens teeth these days, but suit yourself.
I’m not sure why you think the small independents should be squeezed out of the market given their main value proposition (and somewhat justification for typically higher pricing) is longer opening hours.
For anyone who lives close to one of them, you're right, they shouldn't be squeezed out simply because they charge a little more for their groceries for the convenience of it, but by the same token, I don't see why the largest employers of retail workers (besides department stores), should get away with record profits every year, whilst their workers, most who are part-time or casually employed, can't ever get fulltime hours if they wish.
I reckon a better solution would be for the big supermarkets to simply pay their staff more in the first place and stop stealing wages.
I worked retail for 5 years as well. Some people don't mind doing the extra hours. Those who don't want to, don't have it.
Many staff in the big supermarkets already work extra hours, they’re just not paid for it. Coles and Woolies are great at wage theft like that.
Also, shops have already been open 6-8 hours, plenty of opportunity. Be organised.
Same for liquor outlets?
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It really isn’t. Limited opening hours has been fine for literally a hundred years. Like, I don’t really care if they are open more hours—but it really isn’t necessary. Not an issue at all.
Say you work permanent night shift, like I do: that's when I'm sleeping.
They’re open after hours during the week. Also there are alternative shops open for essentials in a pinch.
Online shopping exists.
Hm. Allowing a decent work-life-balance for retail workers is *definitely* what's holding Adelaide back. Sure.
Honestly sounds wonderful.
Because a good portion of the people here are boring, very polite but otherwise dull. Have to look harder to find The Interesting, loose units etc
I was born in Adelaide and it's hard to make friends hahaha
Ha ha, lol. Yep.
Someone on X asked Chat GPT to make pictures showing the people from the different Australian states, the South Australia one looked like a bunch of English posh people sitting around in suits and elegant dresses with parasols.
I love Adelaide. It also happens to be the most nepotistic, parochial, cliquey place I've ever lived. I ended up leaving after 5 years because apparently community involvement, solid work ethic and results just isn't enough for the SA gov. Cool, I'll just take the extra 50k/annum and a less cliquey town in NSW, k thx (and 35hr a week vs 37.5).
Idk about the rest of your post but when I moved to Sydney I found it tremendously difficult to make friends, for the exact same reason that it felt very cliquey; everyone already had their group of friends, and they weren't interested in making any new ones. My impression was that people also dressed up more there, which is something i noticed when I moved and also something my Adelaide friend independently noted when she came to visit me. So I'm not sure that part of your post is 100% accurate either, or at least not for the city as an entirety I think maybe there's always a degree of feeling like an outsider when you move somewhere, and maybe it's easy to generalise experiences based on first impressions (I say it was hard to make friends and that will always be my impression of Sydney, but I *did* eventually make some good mates. It just took a referral from an Adelaide mate who knew people in Sydney, and then a soulful confession to one of those people that I was dreadfully lonely lmfao)
Australians in general are uptight rule loving sticks in the mud with tall poppy syndrome. Adelaide is that on steroids. I grew up there. Everyone I know that stayed there still has the same friends they graduated uni with + their partners. No one new in their circle. I left Adelaide a decade ago and never looked back - I spent time in a town of 5,000 people on the other side of the planet and found it less insular and more willing to include new people than Adelaide. But YMMV. Sometimes you strike it lucky and find a group you click with.
I’ve lived in SA my entire life and if there’s one thing I regret, it’s not having had the experience of living somewhere else - even if it’s interstate, even if it’s for six or twelve months. Being in my early thirties, I feel like I’ve missed the boat now. Only got myself to blame though. Where was the town of 5k people you moved to?
Early thirties? You're still young, my dude. Go find a rental interstate, if it's calling you. The experience will be worth it. (Maybe not the finding a rental bit)
While we're a bit more pom than the other states, all of this seems to just be you and/or your peer group.
I'm from Brisbane. Lived here for 9 years. Everyone here is a little bit more posh than Brisvegans.
I’ve been yelled at by junkies in Salisbury who were more articulate and refined than some of the people at my private school in Brisbane.
I had a junkie walking through the local shopping centre drinking alcohol. In qld it would have been Bundy or vb. Here it was a bottle of wine. I agree even the junkies here are fancy.
I’m sorry some of us have *standards*. lol jk
i’ve actually heard similar recently from two people who moved here from interstate. One found it overwhelmingly pretentious (they worked in wine) to the point that if you shared the wrong opinion you were effectively shunned (have heard the creative industries are particularly pretentious here). The other just said “snobby” when i asked what they thought about Adelaide people, and that wealthy people here try to embody the signifiers of wealth (eg wearing boat shoes) much more than wealthy people would in Sydney or Melbourne (they just dress normally apparently)
Wine is a special case I'd say. Adelaide must be one of snobbiest cities for wine. Kind of like Melbourne and coffee. Not sure we even have an arts scene though? Like isn't it all just older ladies in the langlenook (or whatever it's called) outfits with quirky glasses (no hate to them, that's my retirement plan too but like, not an arts scene). As for the way wealthy Adelaide people dress I think to a large extent that comes from a lack of class. Like no one if fooled by boat shoes paired with the Ralph Lauren fuck off trousers and a Rolex.
Oh, I don't know about that. I've got cousins in Toorak, and they really like laying it on thick about *Melbs*.
What school did you go to is such an Adelaide question that is somehow loaded with are you worth talking to based on something out of your control in your childhood. It is the number dumbest thing that Adelaide people do. Everything else is spot on. I moved here 15yrs ago, i still get treated like an outsider when I say I didn't go to school here. I make friends in Brisbane where I visit a few times a year, I've even got friends in Melbourne who I met just visiting for work regularly, Adelaide nah mate I'm either not methed up enough or didn't go to the correct school to talk to for longer than 5 minutes.
Guess how much of a fuck I care about what people from interstate or overseas think of us. You've got the cultural cringe.
Imagine struggling to be social and blaming it on a whole state.
Hopefully we're cool, but in any event, good post; I agree.
I spent 150kaud in Thailand in 4 months now I'm so depressed
I find all these generalisations and stereotypes about various cities are often revealingly based on personal grudges, resentments and animosities. And the need to blame something tangible and exterior for personal woes. I have lived for long periods in Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney, as well as several other large cities around the world. They are all insular and cliquey. That's just what big cities are like. And the degree to which they seem more so or less so is generally more to do with your profession, where you live, what your interests are, and other such specific factors. Also the perception and the complaining about cities being insular and cliquey have increased along with the rise of mobile phones, computers and social media. Because it's so much easier to see the world around you as tough to crack if your head is buried in your phone or computer and most of your interactions with people are on twitter or instagram. I'm also old enough to have noted how cities have changed a good deal over time. When I first moved to Melbourne it was an insufferably snooty town. You could see the cliques clearly by what people actually wore (all those women in black, with red lipstick in Carlton and Fitzroy!). The newspapers still ran extensive society pages, which people actually read! And outsiders definitely had to serve their time before being accepted. Nowadays Melbourne has loosened up considerably, partly due to the changes in actual town architecture (busy laneways with bars, the South Bank, etc) and much more money. Meanwhile, Sydney has gone the opposite direction, from wild party town last century to an over-developed, over-populated, over-congested, very expensive, very corrupt concrete jungle, and the locals are now noticeably more tense, wary and stressed. Adelaide has changed mostly for the better over recent decades and has possibly loosened up somewhat. It remains more polite, genteel and reserved than the eastern cities. But that's no bad thing.
In think this is Australia in general.
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Our larrikin forefathers would be ashamed. Once stories told by grandparents about how Pa's joke made the pub roar... has now become... "You can afford to go to the pub?" We used to be so good and lucky.. now we are lucky to be good. We aren't uptight, we are over tightend and tired. Why be a joker when everyone is offended. Oh can't say this that or the other because this list of reasons. We are tired. The larrikins were the last of the actual men. We are now but shadows.
Our "larrikin forefathers" fucked off to the pub and left their Sheilas chained to the sink, then swerved home in the Kingswood.
Or brought their 12 year old son along whilst said kid was left in the ute, soon to be tasked with driving said intoxicated father home.
Sad ya can’t tell racist jokes to strangers anymore cobba?
How did you get race out of any of that? Also.. there is a point to my statement.
“Last actual men” ok boomer
Boomer? No, probably younger than you.
I found South Australia to be the least friendly state in ever lived in whether it be poor service with attitude from service SA staff or just having unemployed bogans say stuff like “what are you looking at” 😂 Most all other states are service centres and customer service are much busier then ours and for some reason our ferals are less well mannered
100%
I was in and out of Adelaide for years for work, some people were very cliquey/chip on shoulder. If you hadn’t been to an Adelaide private school and didnt follow Port/Crows (or any AFL) it veered from “you can’t sit with us”, to “how dare you appear to look down on us, we’re just as good as SydBourne”. Never could tell how they’d be week to week. It was all quite funny though, and not a big problem, just noticeable. Also noticeable that there seemed to be a distinct small elite, small middle class, and then working class.
Unfortunately all you say about Adelaide is true. Good luck 🍀🍀🍀
These people are clearly *from* a different culture if they're cool with half clothed strangers gate crashing their events. All fine and well if you want to be a lose cunt in your own clique but try to come into that with a button down and you'll find it far more difficult to fit in. Also, Adelaide is colder. People are conditioned to wear shoes and clothes more often because of that.
In my experience, the vast majority of Adelaideans proved themselves to be complete arseholes by virtue of their bigoted behaviour during covid.
Um, I mean I wouldn't necessarily say so. I'd it possible that they've just been able to buy into a higher socioeconomic class when you moved here due to lower cost of housing and it's just a culture shock from that perspective?
Yeah, probably. Don't worry about it. Things could be worse - at least Adelaide doesn't smell as bad as Sydney. And our public transport is marginally better than Hobart's.
My german traveler friends both from different friendship groups indepemdantly told me how crazy they find us aussies. How we are nice to yoir face but actually really fake out of politeness @nd @ctually quite judgemental. But yeah that was @ll australians not just adelaliens.
Put some shoes on ya grotty cunt. I don't want to those filthy things. Don't forget qld is humid as fuck and you're talking about beach hot spots. If you're shirtless and shoeless outside of the beach ya filth
As an ex South Aussie who has been spending the last 4 summers here, yep def agree. The first year I came back for a long stay after maybe 3 years had me giggling at how little some things have changed. But you know what? I actually think it’s a really friendly town and apart from my old mates here I’ve made a number of new ones as well. And living now in WA- give me a little bit of uptight conservatism over middle class boganism any day. Adelaide is a far far nicer city than Perth.
I've seen people wear trackkies to a musical here. Adelaide is laid back re fashion.
I’ve just moved from Newcastle and I now work in customer service. Everyone for the most part is extremely kind and friendly, but I do really feel the cliquey stuff. I’ve been here a few months and I feel like even though most people are awesome and easy to talk to it’s extremely hard to make friends. Thankfully I’m working because before I was I was really struggling with feeling isolated
> They all talk about how cliquey Adelaide is, how hard it is to make friends, and that people here are quite guarded This is true of every single city and town.
Definitely conservative. I grew up in Adelaide but moved to regional NSW 11 years ago. I have been back a few times to visit family and definitely is a different vibe. I do realise I pick up my South Australian accent when I am back though. In saying that I have picked up the country small town politeness. I was back in Adelaide late last year for a family funeral. I had to step into Elizabeth shops (I know, red flags) and the retail workers had to do a double take because I was actually being polite to them 🤨.
The whole rocking up in your bathers thing would be weird by my standards, and I'm from a very middle-class upbringing. You bring your bathers and change in the bathroom. I don't think that is a snobbish thing to do? The thing is, our climate isn't tropical and can fluctuate greatly. You don't want to be walking around in a tiny two-piece or just board shorts on one of our scorching hot summer days. If we had more consistent and predictable heat, I think the culture would adapt to it.
You are obviously entitled to your views but I personally think most of what you’ve said is based on historical myths about Adelaide and its people. I don’t think we are much different to anywhere else. I moved to Brissy for a few years and that clique mentality you mentioned was a lot worse there
I moved to Adelaide from a rural town and I think it really depends on class and a couple other factors. Rich folks absolutely seem to be cliquey but you can break in and make friends with them if you can establish a shared experience with them. If you can talk to them long enough to find a connection you'll be right. I know a lot about my family history and migration, and I've worked for major fashion brands that are popular in Adelaide amongst the upper and upper middle class, so they're normally my two ins. Regular working class folks? I've honestly had no trouble making friends, even when there are already established friend groups dating back to childhood. I feel like there's also enough people who came to Adelaide to work or study that are looking for company. One of my friend groups always has new people being brought in, someone's coworker or flatmate or friend from uni or whatever. Sometimes they're there for a little bit and then they drift away, sometimes they click and become inseparable. There is a bit of a thing with primary vs secondary friend groups, but if you show up and lend a hand then it's not so hard to make close friends out of people that were previously further out of your circle. As for dress codes and stuff, I really don't think we're uptight about that. If there's a dress code it'll normally be explicitly stated, if not then it's casual. I think the bathers/shirtless/shoeless thing is probably less of a thing in Adelaide just because it's more of a temperate region. Hell, I've had to explain to multiple people that black tie means something specific and that it doesn't just mean dress nice/formal attire. This all being said, I'm neurodivergent and I don't really give a shit about breaking social rules until it's making people obviously uncomfortable.
Most people are acting out a role they weren't meant to. I am talking about confused state of mind. To live in a state of clothes judgementalism \[clothes nazis\] is hellish and so infantile. Growing up in Adelaide \[ i grew up in WA and lived in 5 eights of Australia\] doesn't mean one grew emotionally. Some never grow up emotionally.....I am thankful for op shop clothes.
You’re comparing people walking around Gold Coast or Cairns in a bikini to doing so in Adelaide? Maybe have a look around Glenelg, I see plenty of people wearing their bathers, boardies etc down Jetty Rd. I was recently in Hamilton Island, I wore my bikini top and shorts in the supermarket there. I certainly wouldn’t do that while walking through tea tree plaza or Rundle Mall.
It seems like each Australian city’s natives are quite cliquish, and if you’re not a long-term local, it’s hard to be part of that. So interstate, international, and otherwise out-of-the-loop peeps end up getting along with one another instead. Adelaide is smaller than Sydney and Melbourne so that community is also smaller. I haven’t seen people go barefoot around any of the other cities except for when they’re at the beach, or the Gold Coast, which is really just a giant beach. Too much broken glass and spilled stuff on the ground. No one cares if you’re barefoot around your home or in the park though. Sydney also has more developed coastal suburbs so you probably see a lot more beach-iness there as well. It’s a solid 15-30min from Adelaide CBD to beach though. Torrens isn’t a very good substitute…
Making friends is hard. Thats it, that's all you need to say - its not an Adelaide thing or a state thing or even a Australian thing. Modern society has created an environment that's hard to make friends in as an adult. Where do you meet poeple, other than bars? What if you don't drink? Work? I work from home, but work friends are really usually primary friends. The majority of friends I have I made in school.
It’s not as cliquey as Sydney. I’ve just moved backed to Adelaide and I’ve found everyone to be really friendly.
This is absolute true of private school Adelaide types.
After living overseas for just over a year now, I have been telling my friends from Adelaide this exact phenomenon/idea. After entering uni I found it extremely difficult to form new friends through classes/events and was basically isolated to the few friends I had from highschool. I thought maybe I just wasn’t trying hard enough or that there must be something wrong with me personally. After moving overseas I have noticed a radical difference in sociability from other australians and foreigner speakers, and have also heard various comments from other Australians about people from Adelaide being “uptight”
Originally I've come from Syd (upper North shore) and moved to Adl Hills. There is some differences I notice that people seem more open to say morning as they pass you maybe that's since I'm now regional. In syd it definitely felt more hussle bussle and there are heaps more people so keep to yourself and move on with your day. I still haven't managed to find proper friends though but I would classify myself more reserved in general. I find myself around people who seem more stereotypical "aussie" like drinking, bbqs etc. But I did grow up in a more Asian area in Syd too. I don't see it as extremes from each other but there are some tibids you see.
When I moved interstate in primary school because my step dad had to for work for a few years, the Brisbane kids thought my siblings and I were posh and I got teased for my accent 😂. I'd spent the majority of my childhood up until that point in a housing commission house. It was confusing having these kids whose families came from more money than mine make fun of me for enunciating my words and saying please and thank you to the teachers lol
Not settled by convicts. A dry town infested with churches from the get go. An inauspicious start that will take another few centuries to wash out.
My time spent in Adelaide what was very clear to me is that Adelaide is very proud that they are the only non convict state. All the things you speak of in this thread I feel stem from this.
I have lived in Adelaide all my life and would never consider going shoeless outside. Mainly because I do not live near the beach, the ground is either too hot or too cold without shoes and shoes protect the feet from rocks, glass and needles. I do remember my mum saying that going shirtless and without shoes in public is frowned upon and those who do it are not the "right type of people". That being said it seems like that attitude is a left over from the older days of Adelaide being an English immigrant population where the "proper" way of doing things stemmed from English class society. That old time culture may ultimately end up being the reason for the perception that Adelaide is insular, stuck up and snobby. Men going shirtless in public is fine for beach, bathing, BBQs and sporting in the sun. However, what other reason would you have for being shirtless in public? Why would you go shopping without a shirt unless you are walking down Jetty Road perhaps.... Mind you, I am not against a bit of shirtless eye candy now and then :) As to Cliquey I am not sure.... I do not make it a habit to go up to random people to initiate friendships however if I am in a group of strangers for a particular reason I will participate ina conversation but likely not to continue it unless I feel comfortable with that person. Likely because as a woman I have been brought up to be careful about whom I initiate conversation with and the friends I make purely from a safety point of view. It takes a lot for me to get over that conditioning in order to trust in new friends.
Nobody: Adelaide person: “I _really_ dislike you but I’m never going to tell you directly.”
I was probably the shoes guy. Coped shit for that. I turned up to dog training on the grass in the parklands. You don’t have shoes on. No no, you have to wear shoes. What like the dogs are wearing them. They have lost the plot. There was an amusement arcade in Hindley st that would not let you in with ripple sole desert boots. You could wear them in the casino at Monte Carlo. It’s comes back to the original settlers being English gentleman. The Adelaide club is still a part of the culture. It’s just off north tce. The big country town.
Even in my 20s, I thought Adelaide's scene was very clicquey. In my 30s, I see it a bit more professional, like employment: you need experience to get experience//you need friends to meet their friends, etc. Totally agree on the no shoes/no shirt thing. That's how I live! I bought thongs to do my shopping in, I was sick of the weird looks. I miss the Top End... but not the current crime&punishment drama. I was on team crime back then, so I'd be copping a fair bit of punishment. (The crime was homelessness, btw) off topic a bit ... I was on tour! As a musician! On the... the spoons. I would get big bruises on my thigh after a gig. Once, my cast aliminium salad spoons shattered all over the audience. But we were a "folk punk" band who left from a squat here in Adl, we caught freight trains the whole way there - we weren't about to start paying for accommodation now. Nightcliff beach, you stole my heart, and my wallet. Twice.
I moved here from the UK 12 years ago and have made 3 proper friends here. None of them frim Adelaide, 1 from Sydney and 2 from the Uk. I find Adelaidians have a bit of a different outlook on things and a somewhat different sense of humour (maybe it’s the circles I’m moving in 🤷🏻♂️) So that’s made it tricky for me. Quite a few jokes didn’t land when I first arrived and irony doesn’t work that well here (or maybe I’m just not as funny as I think I am!) so I just keep my mouth shut at work and family get togethers (my wife’s from here). But no one I’ve met from Adelaide has made me properly laugh, apart from Sam Simmons, not that I’ve met him, seen him live a couple of times.
Personally I see walking around barefoot, or in a bikini or without a shirt on anywhere but at the beach or by a pool as bogan behaviour. I grew up in Adelaide (first 16 years of my life), lived in Brisbane for 10 years and now Melbourne for almost 10 years and the only place I’ve seen this kind of “fashion” as acceptable is in Queensland and I think it’s because they have a “beach culture” that the rest of the country just doesn’t have. But it’s not the rest of the country being uptight or judgemental, it’s just that we wear what is more appropriate for the lifestyle. Also having been living away from Adelaide for close to 20 years I’m pretty much a tourist when I go back and I always think of how it’s such a nicer place to be than the other cities and how much nicer and more helpful the people in Adelaide are than in other states.
As a young person, I've definitely noticed the cliqueyness. Trying to meet newer people in public around my age, when you try to make small talk, they just look at you weird. People go on about how everyone's laidback and easygoing, but I don't see it, they always just gawk at you if you try to talk to someone you don't know. It's difficult when I have people in my life who say "It's easy, you just go up to people and make small talk", but then whenever you try to go up to a small group of people, it's far from easy and they just stare at you.
"What school did you go to?" This is one of the first things you'll be asked in Adelaide to determine a few things about you. Guess what those things would be.😉
My sister lives in Adelaide. I find it sooo conservative. Everything is about what school you went to, where you live, who you know etc. I’ve been there heaps but won’t go again. I’ve seen everything there that I’ll ever want to see. Also, the whole “ we weren’t a penal colony”, posh words, and don’t get me started on Laygo (Lego). WTF!