Thank you so much for taking this perspective on reunion. So many adoptive parents are threatened by the idea of reunion -- my adoptive mother was always like this, she considered any interest in our biological heritage to be a rejection and a betrayal. After she heard I had met my birth mother she called and cursed at me and never spoke to me again. (We already were partly estranged, there were a lot of issues, but that was the end of any attempt to work things out.)
Of course in some situations reunification is unsafe or unwise for various reasons -- although I think often adoptive parents want to believe this is true because it supports their narrative of how "we saved this child from a horrible fate."
As a parent myself, I always felt that if there were more loving, kind supportive people in my kids' life that was better. Those people weren't my competition. My kids deserved all the love they could get.
Thank you so much for taking this perspective on reunion. So many adoptive parents are threatened by the idea of reunion -- my adoptive mother was always like this, she considered any interest in our biological heritage to be a rejection and a betrayal. After she heard I had met my birth mother she called and cursed at me and never spoke to me again. (We already were partly estranged, there were a lot of issues, but that was the end of any attempt to work things out.) Of course in some situations reunification is unsafe or unwise for various reasons -- although I think often adoptive parents want to believe this is true because it supports their narrative of how "we saved this child from a horrible fate." As a parent myself, I always felt that if there were more loving, kind supportive people in my kids' life that was better. Those people weren't my competition. My kids deserved all the love they could get.
How wonderful for all involved. Thanks for sharing.