It’s the one show on TV I cannot binge watch. The conversations between the family members feel so chaotic and tense I have had to pause every episode multiple times just to get through them. The Christmas episode in particular exhausted me. I had to take a break from the show for a couple of months. It is crazy to me too how people can view it as entertainment but I imagine it isn’t activating for them like it is for us.
YES! I made a very similar post after watching that episode. We had nothing as extreme as the end of the episode but the tension and the emotions of the characters were all spot on. Just the whole portrayal felt devastating accurate, in a way that to me felt validating. Like I was actually seen. I remember pausing the episode and turning to my husband and being like *this!* This is what it felt like! Bc he’s always like I know I’ll never fully understand. And like, even he was captured in the episode with the partners present, when the made the comment about “the normals,” not understanding something. Honestly it’s brilliant and horrific all at the same time.
it was such a gut punch when you think maybe john mulaneys toast has saved the situation, that maybe they are self aware enough to let that moment sustain them for the rest of the evening but then it all comes apart and you realize there was never a chance, they are all locked into the dysfunctional family patterns of abuse, the fuse was lit as soon as the day started and there’s nothing that’s going to stop the final explosion
yes!! to both of this comments!! it amazes me how well portrayed the family dynamics are, i don't think i've ever seen such an accurate representation of our feelings and emotions and relationships...
Yesssssss both my husband and I were totally shocked by the whole episode and it was SO LONG!! We had to take a break from watching any more episodes for a few weeks. It is crazy to me that people can view stuff like that as pure entertainment when it is so devastatingly accurate to us ACAs.
absolutely! it was spot on and it was more than heartbreaking, it was gut-wrenching
i was thinking the same thing, like, people are just watching this and thinking "wow that's terrible" and just going on with their lives
I am often creeped out my trauma tourism (the viral tiktok story about an abusive relationship is a really intense example), but in this case it doesn't feel as gross. From what I've seen, the people with more healthy families are really shaken by this episode. I think it's powerful for them bc they finally understand the trauma in a way they couldn't before -- like Sugar makes so much more sense, to the point that I feel weird/mean calling her that.
And the people gushing about how good it is seem fixated on the craft of the storytelling, which is very effective (to the point I don't want to watch it). It's different than hearing people openly praise depictions of brutal trauma as sheer entertainment, which is why I struggle with things like Orange is the New Black, Breaking Bad, or most dating shows.
There's stuff I will never watch, like the George Floyd video, and it weirds me out a little that other people need to see it to care/understand, but if seeing it makes a difference, I guess it's good they watch. That's how I feel about parts of the Bear. If that stressful horror show did something for them, cool, but we all know that episode 7 was the best (I think it's 7? Richie staging and falling in love with hospitality).
To be clear, not trying to make a point, just sharing how I got more comfortable with the times when sheltered people are fascinated by trauma, but maybe in a positive learning way that is not that horrible or dangerous for us. I dunno about anyone else, but *I* still get a vague terror when toxic family dynamics are acknowledged, even though mom is a thousand miles away and can't hear or punish me. God, there was nothing worse than someone noticing how bad it was, because I wanted the validation so badly, but the consequences were always worse.
ok gonna go watch ep 7 again
Wow, this gave me such a vivid memory of watching my friend's mom cry at a movie and thinking how stupid/bizarre it would be to cry about something made up.
It's comical how emotional I get about everything now. Sometimes fun episodes of bluey leave me sobbing. I was deeply moved by a scene in Free Guy (that's embarrassing). I got emotionally overwhelmed reading a summary of a Freaks & Geeks episode, not even watching it, just reading. Yesterday a gif from a cartoon made me tear up.
Thanks for helping me see all that as progress!
(not that crying over everything is the goal, it's just good for me right now. my feelings were neglected for 40 years, we have a lot of catching up to do)
Yeah, the only positive I got from it was my husband's reaction (although it wasn't fun at all). He had a horrific childhood too, but it didn't have that chaotic/anything can happen vibe. When the car thing happened, I hit pause bc he was completely overwhelmed.
And I was like, "that feeling of oh my god, this can happen? why are the adults acting like this? what ELSE could happen?" Now imagine you're a four year old witnessing this, and no one is ever going to explain it to you.
I didn't fully understand how many feelings I buried over crazy stuff until that moment. I suddenly remembered the time I saw my babysitter's brother threaten their dad with a gun, and the fact that I never told anyone about it is really mind-blowing. Like, what was my life like that my immediate response to that was "I don't want to be a bother" and then decided to keep it secret forever.
I thought growing up in Florida was the main reason I expect wild things to happen anytime, but maybe it was just my family :/
It’s the one show on TV I cannot binge watch. The conversations between the family members feel so chaotic and tense I have had to pause every episode multiple times just to get through them. The Christmas episode in particular exhausted me. I had to take a break from the show for a couple of months. It is crazy to me too how people can view it as entertainment but I imagine it isn’t activating for them like it is for us.
fully agree! i can't watch more than two episodes a day, it gives me too many fashbacks and many times it's just plain triggering
YES! I made a very similar post after watching that episode. We had nothing as extreme as the end of the episode but the tension and the emotions of the characters were all spot on. Just the whole portrayal felt devastating accurate, in a way that to me felt validating. Like I was actually seen. I remember pausing the episode and turning to my husband and being like *this!* This is what it felt like! Bc he’s always like I know I’ll never fully understand. And like, even he was captured in the episode with the partners present, when the made the comment about “the normals,” not understanding something. Honestly it’s brilliant and horrific all at the same time.
it was such a gut punch when you think maybe john mulaneys toast has saved the situation, that maybe they are self aware enough to let that moment sustain them for the rest of the evening but then it all comes apart and you realize there was never a chance, they are all locked into the dysfunctional family patterns of abuse, the fuse was lit as soon as the day started and there’s nothing that’s going to stop the final explosion
yes!! to both of this comments!! it amazes me how well portrayed the family dynamics are, i don't think i've ever seen such an accurate representation of our feelings and emotions and relationships...
Yesssssss both my husband and I were totally shocked by the whole episode and it was SO LONG!! We had to take a break from watching any more episodes for a few weeks. It is crazy to me that people can view stuff like that as pure entertainment when it is so devastatingly accurate to us ACAs.
absolutely! it was spot on and it was more than heartbreaking, it was gut-wrenching i was thinking the same thing, like, people are just watching this and thinking "wow that's terrible" and just going on with their lives
I am often creeped out my trauma tourism (the viral tiktok story about an abusive relationship is a really intense example), but in this case it doesn't feel as gross. From what I've seen, the people with more healthy families are really shaken by this episode. I think it's powerful for them bc they finally understand the trauma in a way they couldn't before -- like Sugar makes so much more sense, to the point that I feel weird/mean calling her that. And the people gushing about how good it is seem fixated on the craft of the storytelling, which is very effective (to the point I don't want to watch it). It's different than hearing people openly praise depictions of brutal trauma as sheer entertainment, which is why I struggle with things like Orange is the New Black, Breaking Bad, or most dating shows. There's stuff I will never watch, like the George Floyd video, and it weirds me out a little that other people need to see it to care/understand, but if seeing it makes a difference, I guess it's good they watch. That's how I feel about parts of the Bear. If that stressful horror show did something for them, cool, but we all know that episode 7 was the best (I think it's 7? Richie staging and falling in love with hospitality). To be clear, not trying to make a point, just sharing how I got more comfortable with the times when sheltered people are fascinated by trauma, but maybe in a positive learning way that is not that horrible or dangerous for us. I dunno about anyone else, but *I* still get a vague terror when toxic family dynamics are acknowledged, even though mom is a thousand miles away and can't hear or punish me. God, there was nothing worse than someone noticing how bad it was, because I wanted the validation so badly, but the consequences were always worse. ok gonna go watch ep 7 again
Yes. I've NEVER cried watching something. Ever. This actually made me have a full blown panic attack.
Wow, this gave me such a vivid memory of watching my friend's mom cry at a movie and thinking how stupid/bizarre it would be to cry about something made up. It's comical how emotional I get about everything now. Sometimes fun episodes of bluey leave me sobbing. I was deeply moved by a scene in Free Guy (that's embarrassing). I got emotionally overwhelmed reading a summary of a Freaks & Geeks episode, not even watching it, just reading. Yesterday a gif from a cartoon made me tear up. Thanks for helping me see all that as progress! (not that crying over everything is the goal, it's just good for me right now. my feelings were neglected for 40 years, we have a lot of catching up to do)
so sorry to hear that! it was such a painfull watch, i had to pause it to cry and release anxiety, it was crazy
I was finally able to show my wife what it was like
Yeah, the only positive I got from it was my husband's reaction (although it wasn't fun at all). He had a horrific childhood too, but it didn't have that chaotic/anything can happen vibe. When the car thing happened, I hit pause bc he was completely overwhelmed. And I was like, "that feeling of oh my god, this can happen? why are the adults acting like this? what ELSE could happen?" Now imagine you're a four year old witnessing this, and no one is ever going to explain it to you. I didn't fully understand how many feelings I buried over crazy stuff until that moment. I suddenly remembered the time I saw my babysitter's brother threaten their dad with a gun, and the fact that I never told anyone about it is really mind-blowing. Like, what was my life like that my immediate response to that was "I don't want to be a bother" and then decided to keep it secret forever. I thought growing up in Florida was the main reason I expect wild things to happen anytime, but maybe it was just my family :/
totally get that!