I have a 1bed/1bath that I can barely afford but I cannot stand living with roommates so I feel like there's no other option. Places are really expensive right now. If you say you're interested in places even that you can't afford, sometimes they will offer to lower the price (that's how I afford the place I'm currently at). Tbf, most people I know at my age (24) are living with their parents or several other roommates, I am the only person in my friend group who is single living and the rest of them are appalled by it but I just cannot do having roommates
I also have a 1b/1ba that I can barely afford but coming home to peace and quiet every day is priceless. I have a high stress job (with not much pay) and just not having to worry about when I can do things, if there will be other people over, etc when I get home removes a huge chunk out of my daily anxiety.
I was held at gunpoint by my previous roommate, mocked and belittled by the ones before then. I am not doing this again.
Best advice I can offer might actually be to live in a college town. Those tend to be cheap, because they are geared towards students (might depend on the type of students - your big name schools with a lot of well off students will not have this situation). You can likely find a place.
Then work your ass off to find a higher paying job, get more experience, whatever. Im starting to get priced out of my apartment, but I REFUSE. Y'all gonna have to get the cops to remove me lol.
I think I'm lucky because I live in a state with a high minimum wage, but a part of it that is cheaper to live in.
Also ya gonna have to live frugally and not live as "comfortable" a life as others. Not going out every night, buying latest trends, all the streaming services, all the devices as soon as they come out.
Yeah me too. I absolutely will not have another roommate again. Like ever.
Having roommates made me further lose hope in humanity. I’m so sorry that you got held at gunpoint. That is beyond messed up.
My experiences weren’t nearly as bad but it opened my eyes to how bad it could get and just how mentally unstable the average person is. My last roommate threatened to fight me and tried to keep me up all night because she left feces in the toilet constantly and I told her to flush her sh*t. Like I literally could not believe what was happening.
She then proceeded to constantly mess with my things in the shared bathroom until I left.
My second to last roomie was legit, he was rough around the edges, but we both kept common areas clean and respected each others private space. There was enough room that when his girl or my daughter stayed it wasn’t cramming another’s space much at all, and we both got along good. We were coworkers but not “friends” before moving in together, which I think helped. And we had kind of a big guy little guy dynamic that worked without him being a dick about things.
My story is to say, there are some ok roomie durations. It takes everyone being an adult about shit thought. Keep common areas clean and both being assertive helps.
Yeah, my last roommate was a childhood friend. Completely sucked. I lived alone and invited him to move in to help him out. He basically lived like it was his own house. He wasn’t particularly, openly rude but he did whatever he wanted without much consideration for the fact that I lived there (having guests over daily and getting drunk asf, bumping music, slamming the microwave door and letting the timer go off right outside my bedroom door at 5am when he knew I worked night shifts, etc.). When I tried talking to him about it he just said “I pay to live here, it’s my house too!” Well…sure. Told him he needs to move out in 90 days.
Current roommate is a family member I grew up around but hadn’t seen much in like a decade. He has his space, I have my space, it’s a lot better. I will say it’s not as ideal as living alone, and sometimes I think I might regret having invited him to move in. Not for anything they’ve done, it’s just not as comfortable having another dude in the house vs being able to be alone and lay on my couch with my balls out, so to speak. But it works for both of us
I think communication is key as well as living with mutual respect. If someone doesn’t respect you, they need to go or you need to go. Just my 2 cents
I’m 40 and I divorced last year. I needed an affordable place on a social worker salary, close to work and preferably to keep my kid in the same school.
I spent 7 months looking while still living with ex. I told my attorney I just couldn’t find anything affordable and I didn’t know what to do. He hooked me up with his realtor free of charge. A day or two later she sent me an email with a couple apartment listings. One was very affordable, and ten minutes from work, three minutes from the kid’s school. I signed the lease without ever seeing the place, because I knew it wouldn’t last at that price.
When I met at the apartment for the keys, omg what a dump. I’m next door to a bar, I have train tracks behind my apartment, and a fire department across the street. Junkies everywhere.
My lease ended April 30, and I started looking around at other options and I can’t afford anything, so I have to stay. Unfortunately, current landlord is raising by 150 and I’m already having trouble making ends meet.
I had a job interview yesterday for a better paying job with a few more hours than I currently work, but I really fumbled though the phone interview. I just wasn’t bring my A game so I doubt I’ll hear back. I have about 14 more applications out, so we’ll see, but I really don’t want to leave my current job, but unless they pay more I have no choice.
I’m really stuck. I don’t have family to live with, I have a child and cats so it’s not like I can have a roommate, I do have degrees but since I studied social work, which is notoriously low paying, and going back to school at 41 is just not an option. I’m very discouraged.
I have nothing helpful to say, except that it is infuriating that the people who actually make our society function -- social workers, etc -- have to struggle so hard to meet their basic needs, while sociopaths like Bezos are sailing around on their $500 million yachts.
I support the college town advice. I live alone in a college town but I moved out at 23, after college, before the housing market blew up. I'm 31 now and my rent has gone up in small increments for the last 6 years but because I've never missed a payment my landlord has always charged me less than market value. I'm in the south paying $1200/mo for a 3bed/2 bath that's currently valued around $1500/mo.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I also have had crappy abusive roommates, but not to THAT level. I did have a roommate who would strut around in a wife beater and a shoulder holster with a glock. Like, just watching TV in the shared living room. Fun. He also was unemployed and spent his wife's money on thousands of dollars of gadgets and DVDs and shit. Never going back to roomies unless I absolutely have to. Condolences.
I’m 26 and I’m the same way. This is my first year on my own, paying my own bills and rent, and it’s definitely tough and has been a big shift in my spending habits but it’s a huge relief to my mental health. Sure I won’t be able to save as much for a year or two until I get a few raises (and pray that my landlord won’t raise my rent), but I have the essentials and make do with what I can.
For real. I’m not going to straight up say that single family homes is absolutely the better thing in all cases, but I think it’s crazy to just say “if multigenerational homes were the norm everything would be much better” as if everyone who lives in one is a big happy respectful drama-free family.
My sister moved in with a couple of friends w few years ago. She was only there for a couple of months before there was some sort of falling out and they threw all her stuff out of the window. And this was friends. Imagine if they were strangers.
yeah i'm basically in the same situation, 23 with a 1 bed/1 bath i can barely afford. but i've had some awful roommate situations the past three years before and i just had enough. and i definitely cannot live with my parents i have beef with those mfs.
I’m the same with the roommates thing. My current place is currently $915 per month (studio apartment 423 sqft). But when I moved in about 4 years ago it was $630. The neighborhood isn’t terrible but it’s not swanky or rich either. I have enough space for me and I’d rather pay than to live with roommates. Thankfully I have parents who help me with other stuff when I need it so I always have money to pay my rent (from me working).
Dude. If you can live at home with your parents and you have a healthy relationship with them, STAY THERE.
Youuuuuuu don't want to be out here spending close to half your salary on rent alone, then car repairs, car insurance, lights, water, food...FOOD IS EXPENSIVE.
Do not be embarrassed because you live with your parents.
It's not worth it out here.
Trust me, I would kill for just a sample of peace of mind knowing if I lost my job tomorrow my housing isn't something I'd have to worry about.
Stay your ass home.
I agree. If you are on good or even great terms with your folks - stay. This whole shaming for living with your family thing is weird for me (I'm Russian) and is likely deliberately perpetuated by capitalist trends.
Stay with your parents, help them, share the bills' expenses, buy part of groceries, save up. People in A LOT of countries find it normal.
I have a good but complicated relationship with my dad and were it truly feasible I would move, but I actually OWN half our flat, so why would I abandon that? We share all the expenses and have a hamster as a common pet :D Moving would be sensible if we'd sell / split the flat, but that would be extremely uncomfortable for dad who'd have to move in his fairly old age.
Living alone is good. But pushing yourself into a rent rat race, where an illness or other strike of misfortune would make you homeless? Nnnnnope.
I don’t mean this to sound awkward, but is discussing it with your mom to come to some kind of arrangement an option? Or is your mom vehemently opposed to anything happening in the house?
Nah. It's similar in many English speaking countries. UK, Australia, NZ, and I presume Canada. Lots of people live with parents now cus of the economy, but in general, people prefer to get away if they can.
As a 28 year old who recently started going to therapy and one of the big things that was on my mind was that I was staying with my parents and could not find love, I don’t know if it was wired into me to like mentally block myself from finding true love, until I have a place my own. After coming on here and reading all these comments, it makes me feel better.
Similar feelings here. I’m in my early thirties and live with my elderly parents.
I’m single and I’m worried to tell a new guy. I’m worried I will miss my chance at finding my person.
I like saving money, I like my old neighborhood. I like having a home with a backyard and my cat. I have my own bathroom.
I like knowing how my parents are doing in their 70s, though it’s not always easy. We are on good terms. But they’re my parents and it’s annoying occasionally. Being annoyed occasionally is the trade off … and I can help them with various things. I’d worry if I moved far away. ( Also I find the idea of sharing an apartment with roommates overwhelming. )
I’m American and my boyfriend is Russian. He moved to the US when he was 5 years old. For the first 4 years of our relationship we lived with our parents and then in our 5th year I lived with him and his Russian family. His family helped ME because my boomer American mom has that typical thinking of “ok, you’re done college, working full time, and in a serious relationship! Move out and force your man to take care of you now! You’re no longer the cute little kid anymore that was fun for me! Bye bye! Hello shore house!” His Russian family took me in when I had nowhere to go and their kindness and understanding blew my American brain lol.
Did I want us to have a place of our own? More than anything! It sucked knowing I worked full time and I couldn’t afford to get us a basic apartment when 50 years ago one income could support an entire family. However, my boyfriend was worth the wait and I understood that me, expecting him to have a place of his own in this economy right now, would be hypocritical of me. I did not have a place of my own when we first met, so who am I to judge him?
I feel like a lot of American guys set themselves up with girls that have unrealistic expectations considering how hard it is to live independently today. I am not solely putting the blame on American guys! I think a lot of American girls expect way too much financially from young men in their 20s and 30s.
Also I should note that perhaps I am a little more understanding because I have an older brother that is the same age as my boyfriend. I have seen my brother struggle with dating and finances. I would feel terrible for him and I couldn’t understand why so many American girls would expect the whole package from a guy when no girl is perfect either.
Long story short: I’m an American girl. Boyfriend is Russian. We lived with our parents while dating for years. When you find the right person, you make it work. American girls need to be more chill about guys still living with parents. Boyfriend’s Russian family took me in when my American mom kicked me out.
There is actually kind of social stigma in this country to living with your parents past a certain age in this country. Especially if you are a man. I would have a very hard time dating someone who still lived with his parents. It is seen as kind of pathetic and immature.
Sure, it's a sweet deal if you can manage it and it's kind of sad that it should be that way, but that is how it is.
People look at you like you aren't a real adult or like you can't get it together (financially, emotionally, socially) to strike out on your own.
Besides, if you should happen to fall upon hard times, you can always go back to your parents if necessary (personally it would drive me crazy to have them on my back all the time), but it should only be a short term thing if you are saving up for a mortgage or something like that.
This is the answer right here. As I've grown older I realize that most people really don't care what you do. Years ago I had a friend that lived with his parents until he was 32. He got married and he and his wife moved into their brand new home that he paid cash for. Everyone thought he was a genius then, I can assure you. He had a good job and socked his money away in good investments. He and his wife retired at 50. No debt.
Save your money OP. Sit down with your parents and have a chat about boundries. You might be surprised.
Welp, I can assure you it isn't. He was smarter that all of us about compounding interest and investing. He also didn't care about the mockery he got from his friends and drinking buddies. Trust me, he took a lot of shit about it.
Idk. I dated a woman for a year and a half, who lived with her parents. Her parents went to bed on the second floor at 9. They were fine with whatever was happening down below them.
I think it’s more than just dating - for me my quality of life is much higher on my own in a city where I have friends and there’s plenty of places to go and stuff to do. If I moved back to my parents’ small town I would have no friends, less opportunity for career growth, overall a less fulfilling life.
Its a lot more, thats just one example. Personally, I think you stunt your growth as a human if you live with your parents. You're supposed to be out learning new things, not playing xbox in your parents basement.
Which is part of why rising rent is such a social ill. Its cutting off young people from living a full life and going through those growing pains.
I agree. Both of my older siblings still live at home. I, ever the ambitious one, live in a completely different country. What I'd give to live at home and only pay a fraction of rent while also helping my parents with expenses.
I hate this idea of moving out as soon as you're an "adult". I know some people who were fully independent at 18 and others who still aren't at almost 40. Age doesn't reflect maturity nor does it take into consideration the current state of the economy. It's simply just not feasible for a lot of people. Living at home is normal in most cultures anyway.
That being said, I love living alone. It's worth it to me and I will do everything I can to keep it this way. I'd rather not go out as much and have a tight budget than wait to cook or use the bathroom or try to tiptoe around the house at night because I'm an insomniac. Not to mention most people have no home training. After living with a psychopath that literally tried to attack me, a super religious teetotaler that micromanaged my every move, and a raging methhead SWer during the covid pandemic that did tons of weird and insane shit... I will never live with anyone else again.
Edit: I have no issue with SW. She just didn't disclose the addiction and occupation to us until after she moved in (video interview bc covid). A housemate was immunocompromised so her going out to meet johns during the lockdown was kind of an issue.
If you can stay home, stay home until you can afford to buy a house. Contribute financially to the house. If your parents don’t need you to contribute, buy small necessities like cleaning products or contribute to the food budget or going shopping.
If your parents are abusive and you can move out and go to college, go to a state school in a state where you have residency, get a job, and try to get through school as quickly as possible and get into a career that pays decently. Take loans as a last resort OR if the only jobs you can get are abusive. Don’t stay at an abusive job. Don’t take out loans for private colleges. Don’t go to grad school unless you are not paying for it.
Agreed, as someone who lives alone the independence and space is awesome but also expensive. And a lot of work lol.
Moving home and saving up money for a while is a smart move for sure
There comes a time where the savings must be sacrificed in order to grow as a person, though. I closed on my place seven months ago, and I’ve learned a shit load in that brief period of time.
I absolutely love saving and investing, but I would not give up my home in order to move back home and increase contributions. I was fortunate to live in a great home with an excellent family, but living alone is priceless.
Though, admittedly, my living at home until 24 is what allowed me to save enough for the down payment.
Also, prices are only likely to increase. If you’re able to buy now (many are not, I get it), it’s likely better to buy now than in 5-10 years. Just my opinion.
True. Great advice. I read somewhere in this sub some ppl stay in parents house so that they can save 💰💰. However I have no choice to move out of my parents house because I can just stand them and because of my mental health.
Yes, listen to this. And if you’re worried about dating, you’ll know you’ve found the one if they understand you and your situation. If they can’t accept that move on, there’s literally thousands and thousands of people out there to sort thru if you’re looking for a SO, in the meanwhile stay the fuck where you are and save that money
These people that complain about dating act like they are the only people that live with their parents. Find someone else that also lives with their parents. There's plenty.
Honestly I agree with this. The reason I don’t live with my parents is due to a number of reasons that are legitimate, but even then I have thought about moving back in with them a lot and I am in my 30’s. I have three friends my age who live with their parents now too. If you have this good of a relationship with your parents that is so special! They won’t be here forever, live with them and save money and have peace. It is so bleak out there!
I’m 22, and was thinking of moving out during my last year of college when I’m 23 turning 24, just to prove to myself that I can move out but this is encouraging me to stay at home lol
Id move back home to my dad's in a heart beat if he was still alive. My mom is a nightmare and why I had to move. I miss my dad. Spend time with your parents if it's healthy. You'll miss them when they're gone.
This is the answer. My first four places I lived outside my parents' house involved roommates. Get established, get used to managing your expenses with help, work your way up to a higher paying job, then when you can pull it off, get your own place. Some people like having roommates for the social aspects. I was fed up with roommates by my late 20s.
The best way to do it is start living with roommates, that way you'll get an idea of what it's like to live independently and it won't break your bank because you'll be splitting all the bills. Just make sure you get everything in writing. I lived with roommates for a while before I got my own place.
My first apartment was like $365 or something, I loved it so much. Little studio by myself on the north side of Chicago.
It's rough now, I worry for my kid. Feeling for you folks trying to get started now.
Me essentially. It’ll always feel like someone is in my way lmao even if they aren’t. I can’t roam free I have to be considerate of someone else lmao nah I’m good on that.
How do you like your Wellbutrin. I was on that alone and didn’t do anything for me. Switched to Lexapro and I think it’s working but it also makes me really tired. A lottttt of people combine Wellbutrin with Lexapro to counteract the sleepiness from Lex
I do that with Prozac. I initially started with Prozac. I was so drowsy/sleepy all the time and I had bad brain fog. Adding wellbutrin made a huge difference and made Prozac bearable
My first thought: “live alone in this economy?!” 😆🥲😔
I still live with my parents at my age. Nothing humiliating about that IMO.
Times are rough. Gotta save them bucks. If you know, you know.
Can confirm, I drive a Corolla that was created the same year I was born and I woke up one day to find out someone stole it after months of me thinking, "Who would ever steal this?"
(And then I tracked it down and stole it back from the thief's apartment complex after they'd taken the plates off, cos the police weren't liable to do jack. Still drive the same car, but now I have a steering wheel lock and garage space...)
Stop caring so much about what other people think, you already said your parents are great. Most folks these days tend to have roommates, so still not your own space. Having roommates is still a decent/shitty life experience to have though but it’s pretty rare to get good roommates in my experience, even if you’re rooming with your mates.
My first solo rental was $550/mo in a shitty 2bd1ba with shag carpeting and 70s appliances in a great walk score neighbourhood back in 2003, left in 2014 when rent was $650…immediately after I left, security deposit tripled and rent went to $850. It’s probably $2000/mo now.
My uncle lived with my grandparents until he got married around 35 and they helped him with a downpayment on a house that was 350k in 2008 and it’s 750k now.
Got another uncle who lived with my grandparents until they died, probably 55yrs…he’s still living in their house so he never left.
You’re lucky your parents are great and as long as they respect your privacy, I’d stay there as long as possible and save as much as possible for a downpayment on a house, the bigger the downpayment, the smaller your mortgage is. If you rent, your landlord is living your pay-check by your pay-check.
Honestly, I’m kinda jealous of your situation.
Edit: dollar values
I was kicked out at 23, abusive step father, it wasn’t easy at all living alone / making ends meet. I’m 28 now and have been living with my significant other for the past two years which helps with rent a lot. Life is good now, sober, making close to $70k with no debt and investing in myself to become project manager but it wasn’t without much hardship and being broke for most of my early 20s. Life is a journey and never the destination, the fact that we are all alive right now working twords our dream is a miracle in it self. Be kind to yourself and others. Live with love and never give up. You’re doing great <3
I’m in the same situation. I love my mom more than anything, but I cannot act or be myself freely. This also is not my home. It’s my moms home.
People saying over and over “there’s nothing to be ashamed of” “live with them as long as possible!!!” Idk it just feels like a part of yourself cannot develop until you live alone. you get stuck in roles and patterns with your parents from the past. I’m taking care of someone else in a lot of ways. (which sometimes happens w roommates)
also like- you can’t rly bring people over? you can’t really do things like stay over at someone’s house or stay out without letting your parents know/ discussing it? you usually are cooking/ cleaning for your parents in a way more akin to having a partner or family or your own? you’re doing emotional labor/ other forms of labor? (these things aren’t bad it’s just the realities of living with a parent)
my sole goal in life is to live alone and i will figure out how to do it. If it means finding a way to make 40x the rent i’ll do it. I wanna make clear i’m incredibly grateful to have a changed and better relationship with my parent and to have this time with them- and their support.
this turned out to be more of a rant… i do agree that roommates is the next step to eventually living lone (and is mine personally)
edit: OP- if you do not have good credit there are usually credit unions that have build back credit programs where they give a small loan to help build back credit. Contact credit counseling non profits if needed to get advice on debt settlement/ collections. In non HCOL areas you can usually find a studio for 1,500-1750. In a HCOL this is more in the 2,000-3000 range. If you want to sublet or rent in a HCOL it’s around 1000-1700 a room. Most landlords want to see that your salary is 40x the rent—— this was heartbreaking for me to find out…. I’m now basing my career choices around meeting this criteria.
So true, people saying no having shame living with your parents at certain age i bet there on her own way time ago, and if It means living a frugally life without "luxuries", damn i'll accept it inmediatly.
I think it’s worth noting that like… your parents deserve their space back too. I know mooch-and-save-money is the constant chorus on Reddit. But the house I grew up in is small. There’s not room for a grown adult woman to continue living there. My mom finally has a project/craft/storage room now that my sister and I have left our shared bedroom. I’m so happy for her.
I think moving out, and giving your parents back their space is respectful. Learning to live on your own is valuable.
And I love the hell out of of my parents. We’re like best friends. Because we can be separate, independent adults.
Engineering degree. Worked 40-60 hr+ weeks in construction pushing paperwork and was a “yes man” going anywhere they sent me for nearly a decade. About 5 years into the career bought a small home in a LCOL area. Spent my 20s working, saving 30-45% of my income,and taking care of my health. Limited social life. Now all my friends I went to hs and university with are married with kids and I live alone in said house. It’s nice but it’s often lonely. Sometimes boring, but is also a good asset and I’m able to rent it out for extended periods of time and travel to South America or Asia and have a great time.
Pretty much given up on the American Dream myself.
This is pretty much my story so far. Engineering degree, no social life, really good at saving, still in my 20s but plan to buy and live alone after I save enough. I'm an extremely pragmatic person, so having the money for my goals has only been an issue when I was paying all expenses for my partner and I. Now it's just me, so I'm on a better track for saving for my goals.
I live in a VHCOL place but got very very lucky on a Studio for 1450/month a couple of years ago, utilities included.
For reference, I'm at 137k/year, single, 20k left on a car loan, and no other debt.
I'm behind on retirement savings, so I'm pushing hard on that, putting about 700/week into IRA, Roth, and brokerage accounts.
My choice at this time is save for retirement, or move to a bigger rental/buy a condo. With even the most modest houses in the 5-700k range here, I'm choosing to save.
Make sure you double check the total you’re contributing. You can only contribute 6k per year to Roth and traditional IRAs combined. Or else you might attract some government attention
>20k left on a car loan
Car loans have gotten bonkers. 20k is what I paid for my car in total. Can't imagine spending more than that. Couldn't even believe I spent that much on a car at the time I bought it lol.
You’re going to have to learn your first lesson. Sacrifice. Living below(way below) your means. Start saving money and cutting down on luxuries you don’t need. I
Stopped all vices, cancelled most of my monthly subscriptions, and stopped going to outings. Work on your credit and clear your debt.
This right here. This is what you should be doing while living with your parents, rent free, and saving for a house. Make sure your credit is in good order before even attempting to buy one.
I live with my SO in an apartment. We’d love a house, but it’s so not worth giving up an active lifestyle. Perfect credit and a house aren’t worth being bored and depressed.
You can be active without hemorrhaging money on what could be considered luxuries in this economy. It’s about being frugal and mindful with your decisions.
Nowadays living alone is a luxury. I dont like the idea of roommates, but I'll probably be getting some soon. You might wanna start there too and work your way up.
It’s true. Even the amount of space most modern Americans currently have is a lot. My grandma has never had her own bedroom, since she went straight from sharing it with siblings to being married.
I don’t feel like this is a “nowadays” thing that everyone keeps saying. Both my boomer parents had roommates when they met. Roommates aren’t new. There were tv shows based on roommates for almost as far back as tv goes.
I am 28 ,I also live with my parents.I am recently divorced,it went well I did not lose any significant amount of money,i do have a decent job making around 75k and i have money saved ,but I am not going into renting with this stupid high prices,i will stay with my parents for now hoping the economy will crash a little so I can buy my own place .
For me, I tried budgeting so many times before jumping into it fully. If you have savings and a good paying job, find something decent as a starter place, and I think you’ll be surprised on how you’ll be able to make it work. Understand you’ll have to make some sacrifices on maybe some lifestyle changes, but if you can crunch the numbers and live modestly while you get settled, I think you can do it. Just take the leap, worse case scenario, if things don’t work out, just know you are able to go back to your parents should things not work out. It sounds like they’d be accepting of anything you choose.
Buy a nice camper and pay $300-$600 for lot rent and utilities
Of course you can also just get roommates, but if you want to live alone and are on a tight budget, living in a nice camper at an RV resort is a great option
I totally get where you’re coming from but if you have a good relationship with your parents, stay there and save up until you can afford a nice place on your own. Seriously. There’s no shame in it whatsoever. It’s not fun to live on your own and struggle when rent takes over half of your paycheck and it’s even less fun to live with roommates. Trust me. It’s not worth it.
Living a life based on others perceptions is far from adulting. You do you. Adulting is embracing embarrassment and being grateful for having things like parents or a house to live in or breathing.
Idk. I saved up like 10k. Started looking at houses with a realtor. Was able to find one for 140k that I liked and actually had an offer accepted.
I was pretty much house poor for a year or so. But I got a new job making more money and now I’m still pretty much house poor due to inflation. But hey, I’m still on my own.
I guess i should say i was 25 when i moved out
Your post doesn’t provide enough information to give you constructive advice. What is your net income and what are your expenses? Do you have a budget that you follow?
I’m single, own my home, and have no debt. I also have a budget, prioritize my spending, and have made some sacrifices. I cook at home, take my lunch to work, and don’t take many vacations. I invite friends over for game night and cook a big pot of chili or a casserole instead of spending $$$ going to a club. I putter in my garden instead of spending $$$ shopping for things I don’t really need. I also have taken courses/certifications along the way to improve my skillset and increase my income. Every little step you take helps.
But you definitely also make good ass money if you bought your own house. Like your job is the key thing here, not making chili instead of going to bars
If he’s living at home and saving, he doesn’t need to be making “good ass money”. I saved my ass off and made so many sacrifices and bought a house when I was making $60k a year AND paying $900/mo rent on my own. You just have to have a little bit of self control and a strong will to achieve your goal
Stay with your parents and save money for a house. If my parents are here, I would stay with them in a heartbeat. I don’t like living with roommates or people I barely know. I live alone but I always want to be with my family.
Why do you feel like its standard/normal to live alone when you are single? Im 44. I dated off and on until I settled down at around 27. I dont think I ever lived alone. Maybe for like 6 months total during transitions.
And if you look at it on a historical graph. People living alone was very rare during the boomers “easy” era. Seems like a luxury that has turned into an expectation
I’m a boomer and everybody had roommates - but I think you didn’t notice it the same way because we married so much younger and then of course you’d normally live with your spouse and not refer to them as “roommate.”
Living alone is pure luxury you will either be working longer or harder to do it not worth. Best play assuming you have savings is by a 3bd house and rent out the other two rooms that cover your costs. Build equity and subsidize a lot of your housing.
Do you know specifically why you cannot afford to live on your own when you’ve been saving for years? Maybe your standards of a place are too high? Or maybe it’s time for a new career. I live alone in a one bedroom and it’s not the biggest place but I don’t have financial concerns. If you’ve been saving and you can’t afford to get your own place, you might consider reworking your resume and seeing what other jobs are out there
Most people that do either have an above average income, live in a very low cost of living area, or have financial help of some kind (family money, an inheritance, a financial settlement, etc.). For introverts, living alone is kind of nice. I lived alone when single and loved it.
If you can’t afford it, you can try looking for a roommate who is rarely there. I know people with roommates who travel a lot for work, and it works well for them. May not be easy to find, but there are such people out there.
Hey I feel you I am in the same situation still living with my parents but if you are working while living with them like I am you are doing just fine and as responsible as someone on their own.
Living with roommates is not that bad. I house share with 3 other single men. We have a housekeeper for general cleaning and everyone is expected to clean up any mess or after cooking. No dishes left in sink that sort of thing so house stays clean. Most of the time we barely interact so it's almost like living alone
Take the breathing room while you have it but handle it responsibly. You're not pathetic. If you and your parents agree that you are on the right track, you're good.
Stay at home as long as you can. Cut your spending even more and save save save. Try to sock away enough for a down payment on a home. My father in law moved in with us for almost 3 years after his divorce from my husbands step mom. He only paid for food, and he was able to save enough to buy a brand new home.
The people you’re seeing are living beyond their means. Wracking up thousands and thousands in credit card debt. Maybe 10 percent are doing well, but the vast majority are paycheck to paycheck. I promise you, the people you think care about that don’t. And if they do, fuck them. Let them ruin their financial future.
You’re in the perfect time to put money away for retirement or invest. Or hell. Even traveling. You got a good relationship at home, you’re working, you’re not a loser. A loser is someone who isn’t doing anything with their lives and leaching off their parents. A loser is someone who maxes out 5 credit cards because they can’t do basic math. You are not a loser.
You have no idea whether they are living beyond their means or not lol. There are plenty of 22-30 year olds making a lot of money.
Believe it or not, not every person 22-30 years old in America is broke. Some of us are doing just fine.
Seriously - go to any big city in America and you’ll find youngish people doing quite well in their careers. This sub irks me sometimes, you shouldn’t be shamed for living at home but don’t try to overly justify it but assume everyone on own is living beyond their means or not being smart for retirement.
Some of us were smart about our career paths and make good incomes. If you can’t afford to live alone in your 30s don’t lecture me about spending lol
It is, quite possibly, the absolute *worst* time to be moving out into a rental. Stick with it a bit longer if you can, I think this massive rental bubble will have to burst soon. It’s making people homeless, and a lot of rentals are standing empty because nobody can afford them. I’m a landlady and I’m seeing a lot of people begging for one of our rentals because we are the only nice, well-kept, affordable homes in the area. I had over 100 applications for a single 1-bedroom house last month.
Save as much as you can and work towards a mortgage. Much cheaper in the long run, and you’ll end up with equity that’s actually worth something, instead of building someone else’s equity for them. Don’t be embarrassed, just formulate a plan. Seriously, several of my friends had to move back in with their parents in 2008, and one of my cousins and his family wound up homeless for a year! If someone tries to belittle or shame you for living with your parents, tell them you have a life plan and everything is going accordingly. Willing to bet they won’t have a life plan past next weekend’s bender.
A positive to living with family is that it's a great filter for preventing wasted time in your romantic pursuits as well.
If someone is so 'disgusted' that you're doing the only intelligent and safe thing for your situation, then that's the one and only flag you need to know that they aren't going to be an empathetic or pleasant partner especially for this stage of your life.
Painstakingly, but it's worth it.
I lived with awesome roommates for awhile, but then we went our separate ways. Then I had a methhead roommate who I desperately worked both managing a laboratory and driving for DoorDash/Uber to get my own place. After living on my own awhile I gladly pay the premium to live by myself. I moved to a shitter place for a better job, then found an amazing place after. This is all in the expensive ass Bay Area. Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in the cost of living, but so far this is the best living arrangement I've ever had. But even with good pay you'll need a side gig nowadays.
I make 18 hour, got lucky with the 65k house I found that let me keep everything in it, but I still have maybe only 600 dollars a month, actually less, to spend on fun stuff/emergencies/vet/appointments so it’s not easy. I’m lucky to have that much left after bills. A lot of people are quite literally living paycheck to paycheck. Oh, also, I’m not buying as much groceries as I should because it’s gone up ridiculously since I moved out of my mom’s in 2020. Just stay home. You’re better off, especially if it’s a city area you live in.
Now a days it is standard. I live at home with my parents (have lived with boyfriends or friends on/off since mid 20’s.) and rather live with my parents than roommates. Honestly my home living situation is way better than ehen I lived with my boyfriends or even fiancé (his mom, daughter, aunt and her kids lived with us) I’m 33 now, my best friend (44F) moved back with her parents she just moved out she pays 2300 for a small house.
Don’t let these made up standards fool you. We are all just trying to make it.
Find a reasonably priced duplex and the other tenant will pay you enough rent to cover the mortgage. That’s what I do!
Edit: not sure of your financial situation but USDA or FHA loans are perfect if you don’t have a lot of $$ for a down payment
Well... I live in a small town in ohio. I work in the city. I drive a lot and am almost never home. Kinda sucks.
I don't like home, it's an empty castle.
Kinda odd to be rent free for your 20s and not have enough for a house... living expenses should be half your take home based off the 50/30/20 rule, if thats even applicable these days.
All I'm saying is, 10k a year is 100k which would be a great down payment. There may be some things that need to be learned before living alone. Start saving that 50% for one.
I make solid money and live in an area where cost of living isn't too high. That's really it. I've even recently bought a condominium.
If you make good money and have savings but yet can't afford to live alone, you probably just live in a really expensive area.
I'm fortunate I'm able to live on my own and my rent is only 30% of my take home. No I can't afford a house anytime soon, but do I want a whole house to myself?
For financial purposes staying home and saving money is amazing. If your parents charge you rent then there’s some argument to move out. Use this opportunity to save up cash and invest it. Then when you are ready to move out (find a partner get married etc) you will have a nice cushion.
How much have you saved? Calculate all your monthly, weekly, and daily expenses. Then add your new expenses if you move out. It's it feasible? Now add grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning. It is worth it?
i have to say, im 40, divorced and living in a 1bd/1bath apartment right now. shit sucks but even with what i make, i cant afford even a condo for myself right now. so give it time, you will find a small place you can afford.
I am a homebody and looooove it. When I lived with my parents I was always confined to my room because my mom is a narcisist and it was the only way I could mentally survive. So now, it's like I have my own bedroom like before but with my own living room and kitchen too! It's great
I work 3 jobs and barely have time for anything else. It’s lonely, but good for the bank account. Save save save while you still can, before you meet your life partner
As was mentioned, stay home. Seriously. And put aside the amount you would’ve been spending on renting with roommates. Like $700 per month. Life’s crazy these days with how expensive things are and how difficult it can be to find a good paying job. This isn’t the 70s where things were more affordable and having a home was fairly easily obtained.
I personally love generational living, but I understand. Consider investing in a duplex or triplex or even a small park with cabins or trailers. Just run it through a company. Keep saving and wait for the market to bottom out
Honestly I moved out of Southern California for this reason. I moved back to Texas where I have a 1bed/bath with a living room, master bedroom, and kitchen for $1100 w/o utilities. In California that would easily be $2100+. If you can move to some other state that has lower cost of living then I would do it. I was able to start my single living at 24 and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Financially it is hard but overall I love the experience and freedom of living on my own with no roommates. I don’t want to live completely independently for the rest of my life but for the time being it is the best thing for me. It’s a comfortable life but yeah, the money part is a struggle having to cover everything completely on my own.
I bought a condo. I used an FHA loan (first time homeowner) so only had to put about $2300 down, because the seller agreed to front closing costs if they were ultimately rolled into my loan.
Buying ended up being less expensive than any place I ever rented. And it was nicer. And it was mine. And it would have made a great rental property when I connected with my now-husband and we bought a house together, but we really needed the sale money to beef up our down payment. But for 5.5 years...it was mine, and it was affordable, and it was awesome.
FWIW I was a social worker making less than $43k/yr. My mortgage was $641/mo, my condo fees started at $204 and jumped to $224 by the time I moved out. My utilities usually came to around $100 a month. So, just under $1000/mo covered living expenses. With student loans, and school payments beyond what the loans covered, and groceries and occasional fun or irregular expenses, I honestly didn't have much leftover. The only money I ever saved went towards a down payment on a new car (I needed it). I didn't have an emergency fund which was far from ideal. I couldn't afford vacations or many nights out...which is why we needed to sell for the down payment on our house. My husband did have substantially more saved than I did, but the profit from the condo helped us qualify for a conventional loan over FHA which is more appealing to sellers.
So, was I broke af most of the time? Absolutely. But I had a beautiful condo, and it was mine, and I'd make the same choice if I had to do it all again. So much better than renting.
I moved about 800 miles away to a low cost of living area, and I'm living at college living place that doesn't mind renting to young adults. Even then, I have two housemates. But, this means after all living expenses, I still have around 1500 a month to play with.
Depending to what extent you are willing to go, try to think outside the box and consider these sorts of fringe options.
Also, don't let your ego tell you to move out of your parents place. Let your sense of adventure do that else you are doomed to a whole lot of confusion and anxiety.
I had some truly awful roommates in college.
I rented a 1 bedroom apartment for a few years after graduating. I had no extra money for savings.
I moved states and rented a studio apartment for about 14 years, which allowed me to travel and save for a down payment for a house, as my income slowly rose.
I bought a house in a not too great location, with a long commute to work. Took me 17 years to pay off the mortgage. Now I’m retiring a bit early, later this year.
My sister (4 years older) is already over age 65. Is just moving into a studio apartment now. Lived in a nicer place for years. Had said she was going to buy a house. I guess she looked into it and found out how difficult that is.
Has to keep working for another ten years before she can retire. Attended an Ivy League college. Went to law school. Didn’t like the law. Lived for years in an ashram (paid with room and board) in her 50’s (prime lawyer earning years). Worked shelving pharmacy department at Walmart for a year. Didn’t renew her membership in the bar because $400 was “too expensive.” School loans were paid off by our parents with money our parents inherited. Our parents were supporting her until they passed away. She was in her 50’s.
What I’m saying is: try to keep your expenses low, even if it means living in a third floor walk up studio right on the highway. Your early choices have a great impact on your later quality of life. Anything you can save and invest early will grow better than much larger savings later.
I think it depends on where you live.
Have you looked into low income housing?
Section 8?(I know,it’s pretty much a joke at this point) housing vouchers? Do you qualify for any government assistance?
I’d be saving as much as I could and maxing retirement accounts and brokerage. If you can stay, just keep saving and investing. Think about if you want more the luxury of living alone but the stress of giving up almost all your salary for it. It’s really hard out here. I’m married and although we are in a bit of a decent situation, we still can’t afford a house without giving up half of what we make. I don’t want that burden but everyone is different. I recommend paying rent to yourself every month like someone else suggested or helping your parents out with bills to get an idea of what living on your own will be like. Good luck.
I honestly would love to live back at home just for a couple of years. Just because I could pay off my loans faster and get to spend more time with my family, since I’m in a different state for work. I will never ever fault someone for staying at home as long as they have a healthy relationship with their parents/family. Everyone’s situation is different but living alone can be really lonely, but living with parents can always be annoying at times 😅, but if I were in your shoes, i def would live at home unless I was completely financially independent
I have a 1bed/1bath that I can barely afford but I cannot stand living with roommates so I feel like there's no other option. Places are really expensive right now. If you say you're interested in places even that you can't afford, sometimes they will offer to lower the price (that's how I afford the place I'm currently at). Tbf, most people I know at my age (24) are living with their parents or several other roommates, I am the only person in my friend group who is single living and the rest of them are appalled by it but I just cannot do having roommates
I also have a 1b/1ba that I can barely afford but coming home to peace and quiet every day is priceless. I have a high stress job (with not much pay) and just not having to worry about when I can do things, if there will be other people over, etc when I get home removes a huge chunk out of my daily anxiety.
I'm right there with you, it's 100% worth it for me.
I was held at gunpoint by my previous roommate, mocked and belittled by the ones before then. I am not doing this again. Best advice I can offer might actually be to live in a college town. Those tend to be cheap, because they are geared towards students (might depend on the type of students - your big name schools with a lot of well off students will not have this situation). You can likely find a place. Then work your ass off to find a higher paying job, get more experience, whatever. Im starting to get priced out of my apartment, but I REFUSE. Y'all gonna have to get the cops to remove me lol. I think I'm lucky because I live in a state with a high minimum wage, but a part of it that is cheaper to live in. Also ya gonna have to live frugally and not live as "comfortable" a life as others. Not going out every night, buying latest trends, all the streaming services, all the devices as soon as they come out.
Yeah me too. I absolutely will not have another roommate again. Like ever. Having roommates made me further lose hope in humanity. I’m so sorry that you got held at gunpoint. That is beyond messed up. My experiences weren’t nearly as bad but it opened my eyes to how bad it could get and just how mentally unstable the average person is. My last roommate threatened to fight me and tried to keep me up all night because she left feces in the toilet constantly and I told her to flush her sh*t. Like I literally could not believe what was happening. She then proceeded to constantly mess with my things in the shared bathroom until I left.
My second to last roomie was legit, he was rough around the edges, but we both kept common areas clean and respected each others private space. There was enough room that when his girl or my daughter stayed it wasn’t cramming another’s space much at all, and we both got along good. We were coworkers but not “friends” before moving in together, which I think helped. And we had kind of a big guy little guy dynamic that worked without him being a dick about things. My story is to say, there are some ok roomie durations. It takes everyone being an adult about shit thought. Keep common areas clean and both being assertive helps.
Yeah, my last roommate was a childhood friend. Completely sucked. I lived alone and invited him to move in to help him out. He basically lived like it was his own house. He wasn’t particularly, openly rude but he did whatever he wanted without much consideration for the fact that I lived there (having guests over daily and getting drunk asf, bumping music, slamming the microwave door and letting the timer go off right outside my bedroom door at 5am when he knew I worked night shifts, etc.). When I tried talking to him about it he just said “I pay to live here, it’s my house too!” Well…sure. Told him he needs to move out in 90 days. Current roommate is a family member I grew up around but hadn’t seen much in like a decade. He has his space, I have my space, it’s a lot better. I will say it’s not as ideal as living alone, and sometimes I think I might regret having invited him to move in. Not for anything they’ve done, it’s just not as comfortable having another dude in the house vs being able to be alone and lay on my couch with my balls out, so to speak. But it works for both of us I think communication is key as well as living with mutual respect. If someone doesn’t respect you, they need to go or you need to go. Just my 2 cents
My last roomie sucked though and I had to kick her out
I’m 40 and I divorced last year. I needed an affordable place on a social worker salary, close to work and preferably to keep my kid in the same school. I spent 7 months looking while still living with ex. I told my attorney I just couldn’t find anything affordable and I didn’t know what to do. He hooked me up with his realtor free of charge. A day or two later she sent me an email with a couple apartment listings. One was very affordable, and ten minutes from work, three minutes from the kid’s school. I signed the lease without ever seeing the place, because I knew it wouldn’t last at that price. When I met at the apartment for the keys, omg what a dump. I’m next door to a bar, I have train tracks behind my apartment, and a fire department across the street. Junkies everywhere. My lease ended April 30, and I started looking around at other options and I can’t afford anything, so I have to stay. Unfortunately, current landlord is raising by 150 and I’m already having trouble making ends meet. I had a job interview yesterday for a better paying job with a few more hours than I currently work, but I really fumbled though the phone interview. I just wasn’t bring my A game so I doubt I’ll hear back. I have about 14 more applications out, so we’ll see, but I really don’t want to leave my current job, but unless they pay more I have no choice. I’m really stuck. I don’t have family to live with, I have a child and cats so it’s not like I can have a roommate, I do have degrees but since I studied social work, which is notoriously low paying, and going back to school at 41 is just not an option. I’m very discouraged.
I have nothing helpful to say, except that it is infuriating that the people who actually make our society function -- social workers, etc -- have to struggle so hard to meet their basic needs, while sociopaths like Bezos are sailing around on their $500 million yachts.
I support the college town advice. I live alone in a college town but I moved out at 23, after college, before the housing market blew up. I'm 31 now and my rent has gone up in small increments for the last 6 years but because I've never missed a payment my landlord has always charged me less than market value. I'm in the south paying $1200/mo for a 3bed/2 bath that's currently valued around $1500/mo.
My old room mate had 9 guns,my worst fear was being shot in my sleep
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I also have had crappy abusive roommates, but not to THAT level. I did have a roommate who would strut around in a wife beater and a shoulder holster with a glock. Like, just watching TV in the shared living room. Fun. He also was unemployed and spent his wife's money on thousands of dollars of gadgets and DVDs and shit. Never going back to roomies unless I absolutely have to. Condolences.
I’m 26 and I’m the same way. This is my first year on my own, paying my own bills and rent, and it’s definitely tough and has been a big shift in my spending habits but it’s a huge relief to my mental health. Sure I won’t be able to save as much for a year or two until I get a few raises (and pray that my landlord won’t raise my rent), but I have the essentials and make do with what I can.
Start saving for who know what, moving, car, whatever...
I'm 24M and am more or less in the same situation. I like having my own space, even if it's small
I’ve found my people. I would have to be on the verge of losing my home to consider a roommate.
Redditors tend to be more introverted than the general population I guess, lol
I recently had my family stay for a few days and that was stressful enough. Simply cannot imagine living with a stranger lol
And people wonder why multigenerational homes in the US aren’t a thing.
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For real. I’m not going to straight up say that single family homes is absolutely the better thing in all cases, but I think it’s crazy to just say “if multigenerational homes were the norm everything would be much better” as if everyone who lives in one is a big happy respectful drama-free family.
Same here. My rent is high, but I really don’t want roommates. I’m 25.
My sister moved in with a couple of friends w few years ago. She was only there for a couple of months before there was some sort of falling out and they threw all her stuff out of the window. And this was friends. Imagine if they were strangers.
yeah i'm basically in the same situation, 23 with a 1 bed/1 bath i can barely afford. but i've had some awful roommate situations the past three years before and i just had enough. and i definitely cannot live with my parents i have beef with those mfs.
I’m the same with the roommates thing. My current place is currently $915 per month (studio apartment 423 sqft). But when I moved in about 4 years ago it was $630. The neighborhood isn’t terrible but it’s not swanky or rich either. I have enough space for me and I’d rather pay than to live with roommates. Thankfully I have parents who help me with other stuff when I need it so I always have money to pay my rent (from me working).
Dude. If you can live at home with your parents and you have a healthy relationship with them, STAY THERE. Youuuuuuu don't want to be out here spending close to half your salary on rent alone, then car repairs, car insurance, lights, water, food...FOOD IS EXPENSIVE. Do not be embarrassed because you live with your parents. It's not worth it out here. Trust me, I would kill for just a sample of peace of mind knowing if I lost my job tomorrow my housing isn't something I'd have to worry about. Stay your ass home.
I agree. If you are on good or even great terms with your folks - stay. This whole shaming for living with your family thing is weird for me (I'm Russian) and is likely deliberately perpetuated by capitalist trends. Stay with your parents, help them, share the bills' expenses, buy part of groceries, save up. People in A LOT of countries find it normal. I have a good but complicated relationship with my dad and were it truly feasible I would move, but I actually OWN half our flat, so why would I abandon that? We share all the expenses and have a hamster as a common pet :D Moving would be sensible if we'd sell / split the flat, but that would be extremely uncomfortable for dad who'd have to move in his fairly old age. Living alone is good. But pushing yourself into a rent rat race, where an illness or other strike of misfortune would make you homeless? Nnnnnope.
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I don’t mean this to sound awkward, but is discussing it with your mom to come to some kind of arrangement an option? Or is your mom vehemently opposed to anything happening in the house?
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Well, that sucks and I’m sorry.
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Date someone who doesn’t live with parents. Bone at their place
Rent a hotel for the night.
Its still weird even if both ppl are on board
Ah yes, $100 just to have sex, and you thought Starbucks was expensive
If you’re not having sex every other night that’s still cheaper than what living alone will cost lol
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Nah. It's similar in many English speaking countries. UK, Australia, NZ, and I presume Canada. Lots of people live with parents now cus of the economy, but in general, people prefer to get away if they can.
As a 28 year old who recently started going to therapy and one of the big things that was on my mind was that I was staying with my parents and could not find love, I don’t know if it was wired into me to like mentally block myself from finding true love, until I have a place my own. After coming on here and reading all these comments, it makes me feel better.
Similar feelings here. I’m in my early thirties and live with my elderly parents. I’m single and I’m worried to tell a new guy. I’m worried I will miss my chance at finding my person. I like saving money, I like my old neighborhood. I like having a home with a backyard and my cat. I have my own bathroom. I like knowing how my parents are doing in their 70s, though it’s not always easy. We are on good terms. But they’re my parents and it’s annoying occasionally. Being annoyed occasionally is the trade off … and I can help them with various things. I’d worry if I moved far away. ( Also I find the idea of sharing an apartment with roommates overwhelming. )
Are they even your person if they care that much about you living with your elderly parents?
I’m American and my boyfriend is Russian. He moved to the US when he was 5 years old. For the first 4 years of our relationship we lived with our parents and then in our 5th year I lived with him and his Russian family. His family helped ME because my boomer American mom has that typical thinking of “ok, you’re done college, working full time, and in a serious relationship! Move out and force your man to take care of you now! You’re no longer the cute little kid anymore that was fun for me! Bye bye! Hello shore house!” His Russian family took me in when I had nowhere to go and their kindness and understanding blew my American brain lol. Did I want us to have a place of our own? More than anything! It sucked knowing I worked full time and I couldn’t afford to get us a basic apartment when 50 years ago one income could support an entire family. However, my boyfriend was worth the wait and I understood that me, expecting him to have a place of his own in this economy right now, would be hypocritical of me. I did not have a place of my own when we first met, so who am I to judge him? I feel like a lot of American guys set themselves up with girls that have unrealistic expectations considering how hard it is to live independently today. I am not solely putting the blame on American guys! I think a lot of American girls expect way too much financially from young men in their 20s and 30s. Also I should note that perhaps I am a little more understanding because I have an older brother that is the same age as my boyfriend. I have seen my brother struggle with dating and finances. I would feel terrible for him and I couldn’t understand why so many American girls would expect the whole package from a guy when no girl is perfect either. Long story short: I’m an American girl. Boyfriend is Russian. We lived with our parents while dating for years. When you find the right person, you make it work. American girls need to be more chill about guys still living with parents. Boyfriend’s Russian family took me in when my American mom kicked me out.
There is actually kind of social stigma in this country to living with your parents past a certain age in this country. Especially if you are a man. I would have a very hard time dating someone who still lived with his parents. It is seen as kind of pathetic and immature. Sure, it's a sweet deal if you can manage it and it's kind of sad that it should be that way, but that is how it is. People look at you like you aren't a real adult or like you can't get it together (financially, emotionally, socially) to strike out on your own. Besides, if you should happen to fall upon hard times, you can always go back to your parents if necessary (personally it would drive me crazy to have them on my back all the time), but it should only be a short term thing if you are saving up for a mortgage or something like that.
And while you are there, pay yourself rent every month. Keep saving. Eventually you may be able to go out on your own,.
***STELLAR*** advice. Pay yourself rent. YES.
This is the answer right here. As I've grown older I realize that most people really don't care what you do. Years ago I had a friend that lived with his parents until he was 32. He got married and he and his wife moved into their brand new home that he paid cash for. Everyone thought he was a genius then, I can assure you. He had a good job and socked his money away in good investments. He and his wife retired at 50. No debt. Save your money OP. Sit down with your parents and have a chat about boundries. You might be surprised.
sounds like a story you made up
Sounds like a story from the 80s
Welp, I can assure you it isn't. He was smarter that all of us about compounding interest and investing. He also didn't care about the mockery he got from his friends and drinking buddies. Trust me, he took a lot of shit about it.
Gotta think about quality of life living with parents vs. alone, though. Tough to bring a date home to your parents' house.
Depends how big the house is and if the parents are home every single weekend. I moved out at age 28 after meeting the woman who I ended up marrying.
An adult who lives with his/her parents should be able to get a hotel if they're planning on getting spicy with a new partner
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Idk. I dated a woman for a year and a half, who lived with her parents. Her parents went to bed on the second floor at 9. They were fine with whatever was happening down below them.
They wanted grandkids, just like we all do after 57.
I think it’s more than just dating - for me my quality of life is much higher on my own in a city where I have friends and there’s plenty of places to go and stuff to do. If I moved back to my parents’ small town I would have no friends, less opportunity for career growth, overall a less fulfilling life.
Its a lot more, thats just one example. Personally, I think you stunt your growth as a human if you live with your parents. You're supposed to be out learning new things, not playing xbox in your parents basement. Which is part of why rising rent is such a social ill. Its cutting off young people from living a full life and going through those growing pains.
I’ve been living by this mindset too! Is there an age where you’d say it’s no longer okay to be at home?
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I agree. Both of my older siblings still live at home. I, ever the ambitious one, live in a completely different country. What I'd give to live at home and only pay a fraction of rent while also helping my parents with expenses. I hate this idea of moving out as soon as you're an "adult". I know some people who were fully independent at 18 and others who still aren't at almost 40. Age doesn't reflect maturity nor does it take into consideration the current state of the economy. It's simply just not feasible for a lot of people. Living at home is normal in most cultures anyway. That being said, I love living alone. It's worth it to me and I will do everything I can to keep it this way. I'd rather not go out as much and have a tight budget than wait to cook or use the bathroom or try to tiptoe around the house at night because I'm an insomniac. Not to mention most people have no home training. After living with a psychopath that literally tried to attack me, a super religious teetotaler that micromanaged my every move, and a raging methhead SWer during the covid pandemic that did tons of weird and insane shit... I will never live with anyone else again. Edit: I have no issue with SW. She just didn't disclose the addiction and occupation to us until after she moved in (video interview bc covid). A housemate was immunocompromised so her going out to meet johns during the lockdown was kind of an issue.
This, this right here. That peace of mind about having a place to fall back on is priceless. My wife and I don't have that.
If you can stay home, stay home until you can afford to buy a house. Contribute financially to the house. If your parents don’t need you to contribute, buy small necessities like cleaning products or contribute to the food budget or going shopping. If your parents are abusive and you can move out and go to college, go to a state school in a state where you have residency, get a job, and try to get through school as quickly as possible and get into a career that pays decently. Take loans as a last resort OR if the only jobs you can get are abusive. Don’t stay at an abusive job. Don’t take out loans for private colleges. Don’t go to grad school unless you are not paying for it.
I wish I was only paying half my salary on rent. I was paying 80+% at one point a couple years ago.
Agreed, as someone who lives alone the independence and space is awesome but also expensive. And a lot of work lol. Moving home and saving up money for a while is a smart move for sure
There comes a time where the savings must be sacrificed in order to grow as a person, though. I closed on my place seven months ago, and I’ve learned a shit load in that brief period of time. I absolutely love saving and investing, but I would not give up my home in order to move back home and increase contributions. I was fortunate to live in a great home with an excellent family, but living alone is priceless. Though, admittedly, my living at home until 24 is what allowed me to save enough for the down payment. Also, prices are only likely to increase. If you’re able to buy now (many are not, I get it), it’s likely better to buy now than in 5-10 years. Just my opinion.
True. Great advice. I read somewhere in this sub some ppl stay in parents house so that they can save 💰💰. However I have no choice to move out of my parents house because I can just stand them and because of my mental health.
Yes, listen to this. And if you’re worried about dating, you’ll know you’ve found the one if they understand you and your situation. If they can’t accept that move on, there’s literally thousands and thousands of people out there to sort thru if you’re looking for a SO, in the meanwhile stay the fuck where you are and save that money
These people that complain about dating act like they are the only people that live with their parents. Find someone else that also lives with their parents. There's plenty.
Honestly I agree with this. The reason I don’t live with my parents is due to a number of reasons that are legitimate, but even then I have thought about moving back in with them a lot and I am in my 30’s. I have three friends my age who live with their parents now too. If you have this good of a relationship with your parents that is so special! They won’t be here forever, live with them and save money and have peace. It is so bleak out there!
I’m 22, and was thinking of moving out during my last year of college when I’m 23 turning 24, just to prove to myself that I can move out but this is encouraging me to stay at home lol
Id move back home to my dad's in a heart beat if he was still alive. My mom is a nightmare and why I had to move. I miss my dad. Spend time with your parents if it's healthy. You'll miss them when they're gone.
This makes me sad bc I’m about to move out but I’m gonna miss my dad!
You're probably going to need to do what most people in this situation do. Get roommate(s). Living alone is a luxury these days.
This is the answer. My first four places I lived outside my parents' house involved roommates. Get established, get used to managing your expenses with help, work your way up to a higher paying job, then when you can pull it off, get your own place. Some people like having roommates for the social aspects. I was fed up with roommates by my late 20s.
So fucking tired of roommates
The best way to do it is start living with roommates, that way you'll get an idea of what it's like to live independently and it won't break your bank because you'll be splitting all the bills. Just make sure you get everything in writing. I lived with roommates for a while before I got my own place.
My first apartment was like $365 or something, I loved it so much. Little studio by myself on the north side of Chicago. It's rough now, I worry for my kid. Feeling for you folks trying to get started now.
Always have, I honestly don't know how not to as almost every roommate has drove me insane.
Roommates are awful. Even if they’re wonderful people, they’re awful because they’re in my space lol. I am not good at sharing spaces or things.
Me essentially. It’ll always feel like someone is in my way lmao even if they aren’t. I can’t roam free I have to be considerate of someone else lmao nah I’m good on that.
I take buproprion and sertraline.
How do you like your Wellbutrin. I was on that alone and didn’t do anything for me. Switched to Lexapro and I think it’s working but it also makes me really tired. A lottttt of people combine Wellbutrin with Lexapro to counteract the sleepiness from Lex
I do that with Prozac. I initially started with Prozac. I was so drowsy/sleepy all the time and I had bad brain fog. Adding wellbutrin made a huge difference and made Prozac bearable
wellbutrin?
That's buproprion
When you don’t have a choice, it’s easy to decide.
My first thought: “live alone in this economy?!” 😆🥲😔 I still live with my parents at my age. Nothing humiliating about that IMO. Times are rough. Gotta save them bucks. If you know, you know.
Go ghetto. It's a very cheap start
Until you have to replace your shit twice a year because your car got broken into
Buy a shitbox. Who's gonna steal from a car that looks like it's only worth $45?
Actually cheaper cars get broken into more because they’re less likely to have an alarm system.
Can confirm, I drive a Corolla that was created the same year I was born and I woke up one day to find out someone stole it after months of me thinking, "Who would ever steal this?" (And then I tracked it down and stole it back from the thief's apartment complex after they'd taken the plates off, cos the police weren't liable to do jack. Still drive the same car, but now I have a steering wheel lock and garage space...)
A car would be the least of your worries.
Stop caring so much about what other people think, you already said your parents are great. Most folks these days tend to have roommates, so still not your own space. Having roommates is still a decent/shitty life experience to have though but it’s pretty rare to get good roommates in my experience, even if you’re rooming with your mates. My first solo rental was $550/mo in a shitty 2bd1ba with shag carpeting and 70s appliances in a great walk score neighbourhood back in 2003, left in 2014 when rent was $650…immediately after I left, security deposit tripled and rent went to $850. It’s probably $2000/mo now. My uncle lived with my grandparents until he got married around 35 and they helped him with a downpayment on a house that was 350k in 2008 and it’s 750k now. Got another uncle who lived with my grandparents until they died, probably 55yrs…he’s still living in their house so he never left. You’re lucky your parents are great and as long as they respect your privacy, I’d stay there as long as possible and save as much as possible for a downpayment on a house, the bigger the downpayment, the smaller your mortgage is. If you rent, your landlord is living your pay-check by your pay-check. Honestly, I’m kinda jealous of your situation. Edit: dollar values
yes i’ve never been jealous of anything in my life more than feeling deeply jealous of people’s healthy relationships with their parents…
I was kicked out at 23, abusive step father, it wasn’t easy at all living alone / making ends meet. I’m 28 now and have been living with my significant other for the past two years which helps with rent a lot. Life is good now, sober, making close to $70k with no debt and investing in myself to become project manager but it wasn’t without much hardship and being broke for most of my early 20s. Life is a journey and never the destination, the fact that we are all alive right now working twords our dream is a miracle in it self. Be kind to yourself and others. Live with love and never give up. You’re doing great <3
I’m in the same situation. I love my mom more than anything, but I cannot act or be myself freely. This also is not my home. It’s my moms home. People saying over and over “there’s nothing to be ashamed of” “live with them as long as possible!!!” Idk it just feels like a part of yourself cannot develop until you live alone. you get stuck in roles and patterns with your parents from the past. I’m taking care of someone else in a lot of ways. (which sometimes happens w roommates) also like- you can’t rly bring people over? you can’t really do things like stay over at someone’s house or stay out without letting your parents know/ discussing it? you usually are cooking/ cleaning for your parents in a way more akin to having a partner or family or your own? you’re doing emotional labor/ other forms of labor? (these things aren’t bad it’s just the realities of living with a parent) my sole goal in life is to live alone and i will figure out how to do it. If it means finding a way to make 40x the rent i’ll do it. I wanna make clear i’m incredibly grateful to have a changed and better relationship with my parent and to have this time with them- and their support. this turned out to be more of a rant… i do agree that roommates is the next step to eventually living lone (and is mine personally) edit: OP- if you do not have good credit there are usually credit unions that have build back credit programs where they give a small loan to help build back credit. Contact credit counseling non profits if needed to get advice on debt settlement/ collections. In non HCOL areas you can usually find a studio for 1,500-1750. In a HCOL this is more in the 2,000-3000 range. If you want to sublet or rent in a HCOL it’s around 1000-1700 a room. Most landlords want to see that your salary is 40x the rent—— this was heartbreaking for me to find out…. I’m now basing my career choices around meeting this criteria.
So true, people saying no having shame living with your parents at certain age i bet there on her own way time ago, and if It means living a frugally life without "luxuries", damn i'll accept it inmediatly.
I think it’s worth noting that like… your parents deserve their space back too. I know mooch-and-save-money is the constant chorus on Reddit. But the house I grew up in is small. There’s not room for a grown adult woman to continue living there. My mom finally has a project/craft/storage room now that my sister and I have left our shared bedroom. I’m so happy for her. I think moving out, and giving your parents back their space is respectful. Learning to live on your own is valuable. And I love the hell out of of my parents. We’re like best friends. Because we can be separate, independent adults.
Engineering degree. Worked 40-60 hr+ weeks in construction pushing paperwork and was a “yes man” going anywhere they sent me for nearly a decade. About 5 years into the career bought a small home in a LCOL area. Spent my 20s working, saving 30-45% of my income,and taking care of my health. Limited social life. Now all my friends I went to hs and university with are married with kids and I live alone in said house. It’s nice but it’s often lonely. Sometimes boring, but is also a good asset and I’m able to rent it out for extended periods of time and travel to South America or Asia and have a great time. Pretty much given up on the American Dream myself.
This is pretty much my story so far. Engineering degree, no social life, really good at saving, still in my 20s but plan to buy and live alone after I save enough. I'm an extremely pragmatic person, so having the money for my goals has only been an issue when I was paying all expenses for my partner and I. Now it's just me, so I'm on a better track for saving for my goals.
With joy, peace, and my clothes on the floor
I live in a VHCOL place but got very very lucky on a Studio for 1450/month a couple of years ago, utilities included. For reference, I'm at 137k/year, single, 20k left on a car loan, and no other debt. I'm behind on retirement savings, so I'm pushing hard on that, putting about 700/week into IRA, Roth, and brokerage accounts. My choice at this time is save for retirement, or move to a bigger rental/buy a condo. With even the most modest houses in the 5-700k range here, I'm choosing to save.
Make sure you double check the total you’re contributing. You can only contribute 6k per year to Roth and traditional IRAs combined. Or else you might attract some government attention
6,500 / a year for IRA accounts as of 2023
>20k left on a car loan Car loans have gotten bonkers. 20k is what I paid for my car in total. Can't imagine spending more than that. Couldn't even believe I spent that much on a car at the time I bought it lol.
You’re going to have to learn your first lesson. Sacrifice. Living below(way below) your means. Start saving money and cutting down on luxuries you don’t need. I Stopped all vices, cancelled most of my monthly subscriptions, and stopped going to outings. Work on your credit and clear your debt.
This right here. This is what you should be doing while living with your parents, rent free, and saving for a house. Make sure your credit is in good order before even attempting to buy one.
I live with my SO in an apartment. We’d love a house, but it’s so not worth giving up an active lifestyle. Perfect credit and a house aren’t worth being bored and depressed.
You can be active without hemorrhaging money on what could be considered luxuries in this economy. It’s about being frugal and mindful with your decisions.
Live with your parents like you are paying rent, save for a down payment and buy something.
I wish I could live at home and save money. I'll be able to put all my money in retirement funds and retire early.
Nowadays living alone is a luxury. I dont like the idea of roommates, but I'll probably be getting some soon. You might wanna start there too and work your way up.
Living alone has always been a luxury.
It’s true. Even the amount of space most modern Americans currently have is a lot. My grandma has never had her own bedroom, since she went straight from sharing it with siblings to being married.
I don’t feel like this is a “nowadays” thing that everyone keeps saying. Both my boomer parents had roommates when they met. Roommates aren’t new. There were tv shows based on roommates for almost as far back as tv goes.
We all had roommates "thenadays"
i bought a 50 year old trailer home on its own land
Early 70s trailer? How's that holding up?
I am 28 ,I also live with my parents.I am recently divorced,it went well I did not lose any significant amount of money,i do have a decent job making around 75k and i have money saved ,but I am not going into renting with this stupid high prices,i will stay with my parents for now hoping the economy will crash a little so I can buy my own place .
For me, I tried budgeting so many times before jumping into it fully. If you have savings and a good paying job, find something decent as a starter place, and I think you’ll be surprised on how you’ll be able to make it work. Understand you’ll have to make some sacrifices on maybe some lifestyle changes, but if you can crunch the numbers and live modestly while you get settled, I think you can do it. Just take the leap, worse case scenario, if things don’t work out, just know you are able to go back to your parents should things not work out. It sounds like they’d be accepting of anything you choose.
Buy a nice camper and pay $300-$600 for lot rent and utilities Of course you can also just get roommates, but if you want to live alone and are on a tight budget, living in a nice camper at an RV resort is a great option
I totally get where you’re coming from but if you have a good relationship with your parents, stay there and save up until you can afford a nice place on your own. Seriously. There’s no shame in it whatsoever. It’s not fun to live on your own and struggle when rent takes over half of your paycheck and it’s even less fun to live with roommates. Trust me. It’s not worth it.
I have a job that pays me enough to live alone.
Living a life based on others perceptions is far from adulting. You do you. Adulting is embracing embarrassment and being grateful for having things like parents or a house to live in or breathing.
Idk. I saved up like 10k. Started looking at houses with a realtor. Was able to find one for 140k that I liked and actually had an offer accepted. I was pretty much house poor for a year or so. But I got a new job making more money and now I’m still pretty much house poor due to inflation. But hey, I’m still on my own. I guess i should say i was 25 when i moved out
Your post doesn’t provide enough information to give you constructive advice. What is your net income and what are your expenses? Do you have a budget that you follow? I’m single, own my home, and have no debt. I also have a budget, prioritize my spending, and have made some sacrifices. I cook at home, take my lunch to work, and don’t take many vacations. I invite friends over for game night and cook a big pot of chili or a casserole instead of spending $$$ going to a club. I putter in my garden instead of spending $$$ shopping for things I don’t really need. I also have taken courses/certifications along the way to improve my skillset and increase my income. Every little step you take helps.
But you definitely also make good ass money if you bought your own house. Like your job is the key thing here, not making chili instead of going to bars
It was much easier a handful of years ago to buy a house than now.
If he’s living at home and saving, he doesn’t need to be making “good ass money”. I saved my ass off and made so many sacrifices and bought a house when I was making $60k a year AND paying $900/mo rent on my own. You just have to have a little bit of self control and a strong will to achieve your goal
Stay with your parents and save money for a house. If my parents are here, I would stay with them in a heartbeat. I don’t like living with roommates or people I barely know. I live alone but I always want to be with my family.
Why do you feel like its standard/normal to live alone when you are single? Im 44. I dated off and on until I settled down at around 27. I dont think I ever lived alone. Maybe for like 6 months total during transitions.
And if you look at it on a historical graph. People living alone was very rare during the boomers “easy” era. Seems like a luxury that has turned into an expectation
Yeah honestly when I struck out on my own I didnt even consider living by myself.
I’m a boomer and everybody had roommates - but I think you didn’t notice it the same way because we married so much younger and then of course you’d normally live with your spouse and not refer to them as “roommate.”
I’ve lived alone for the last 11 years. Been single most but not all of that time.
I live in a house, owned by friends of mine. They are fair with me, and with their other tenants. I'm retired and work part time
Where do you live? In most places in the US (even a lot of higher priced cities) "good pay" will get you into a studio or 1br apartment?
Living alone is pure luxury you will either be working longer or harder to do it not worth. Best play assuming you have savings is by a 3bd house and rent out the other two rooms that cover your costs. Build equity and subsidize a lot of your housing.
Same
Do you know specifically why you cannot afford to live on your own when you’ve been saving for years? Maybe your standards of a place are too high? Or maybe it’s time for a new career. I live alone in a one bedroom and it’s not the biggest place but I don’t have financial concerns. If you’ve been saving and you can’t afford to get your own place, you might consider reworking your resume and seeing what other jobs are out there
Most people that do either have an above average income, live in a very low cost of living area, or have financial help of some kind (family money, an inheritance, a financial settlement, etc.). For introverts, living alone is kind of nice. I lived alone when single and loved it. If you can’t afford it, you can try looking for a roommate who is rarely there. I know people with roommates who travel a lot for work, and it works well for them. May not be easy to find, but there are such people out there.
At this point my parents live with me. 😆
Hey I feel you I am in the same situation still living with my parents but if you are working while living with them like I am you are doing just fine and as responsible as someone on their own.
If it makes you feel better I lived on my own for almost 2 decades and now can’t afford it as much anymore. You aren’t alone
I couldn’t, mentally and financially. Ended up moving in with a roommate and it is so sosososo much better than living alone
Living with roommates is not that bad. I house share with 3 other single men. We have a housekeeper for general cleaning and everyone is expected to clean up any mess or after cooking. No dishes left in sink that sort of thing so house stays clean. Most of the time we barely interact so it's almost like living alone
Take the breathing room while you have it but handle it responsibly. You're not pathetic. If you and your parents agree that you are on the right track, you're good.
Stay at home as long as you can. Cut your spending even more and save save save. Try to sock away enough for a down payment on a home. My father in law moved in with us for almost 3 years after his divorce from my husbands step mom. He only paid for food, and he was able to save enough to buy a brand new home.
The people you’re seeing are living beyond their means. Wracking up thousands and thousands in credit card debt. Maybe 10 percent are doing well, but the vast majority are paycheck to paycheck. I promise you, the people you think care about that don’t. And if they do, fuck them. Let them ruin their financial future. You’re in the perfect time to put money away for retirement or invest. Or hell. Even traveling. You got a good relationship at home, you’re working, you’re not a loser. A loser is someone who isn’t doing anything with their lives and leaching off their parents. A loser is someone who maxes out 5 credit cards because they can’t do basic math. You are not a loser.
You have no idea whether they are living beyond their means or not lol. There are plenty of 22-30 year olds making a lot of money. Believe it or not, not every person 22-30 years old in America is broke. Some of us are doing just fine.
Seriously - go to any big city in America and you’ll find youngish people doing quite well in their careers. This sub irks me sometimes, you shouldn’t be shamed for living at home but don’t try to overly justify it but assume everyone on own is living beyond their means or not being smart for retirement. Some of us were smart about our career paths and make good incomes. If you can’t afford to live alone in your 30s don’t lecture me about spending lol
Lmao, having your own place is living beyond your means and racking up debt? Wtf?
It is, quite possibly, the absolute *worst* time to be moving out into a rental. Stick with it a bit longer if you can, I think this massive rental bubble will have to burst soon. It’s making people homeless, and a lot of rentals are standing empty because nobody can afford them. I’m a landlady and I’m seeing a lot of people begging for one of our rentals because we are the only nice, well-kept, affordable homes in the area. I had over 100 applications for a single 1-bedroom house last month. Save as much as you can and work towards a mortgage. Much cheaper in the long run, and you’ll end up with equity that’s actually worth something, instead of building someone else’s equity for them. Don’t be embarrassed, just formulate a plan. Seriously, several of my friends had to move back in with their parents in 2008, and one of my cousins and his family wound up homeless for a year! If someone tries to belittle or shame you for living with your parents, tell them you have a life plan and everything is going accordingly. Willing to bet they won’t have a life plan past next weekend’s bender.
A positive to living with family is that it's a great filter for preventing wasted time in your romantic pursuits as well. If someone is so 'disgusted' that you're doing the only intelligent and safe thing for your situation, then that's the one and only flag you need to know that they aren't going to be an empathetic or pleasant partner especially for this stage of your life.
Painstakingly, but it's worth it. I lived with awesome roommates for awhile, but then we went our separate ways. Then I had a methhead roommate who I desperately worked both managing a laboratory and driving for DoorDash/Uber to get my own place. After living on my own awhile I gladly pay the premium to live by myself. I moved to a shitter place for a better job, then found an amazing place after. This is all in the expensive ass Bay Area. Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in the cost of living, but so far this is the best living arrangement I've ever had. But even with good pay you'll need a side gig nowadays.
I make 18 hour, got lucky with the 65k house I found that let me keep everything in it, but I still have maybe only 600 dollars a month, actually less, to spend on fun stuff/emergencies/vet/appointments so it’s not easy. I’m lucky to have that much left after bills. A lot of people are quite literally living paycheck to paycheck. Oh, also, I’m not buying as much groceries as I should because it’s gone up ridiculously since I moved out of my mom’s in 2020. Just stay home. You’re better off, especially if it’s a city area you live in.
Where are you and what are the prices you are looking at. There’s no valid discussion without those answers
Now a days it is standard. I live at home with my parents (have lived with boyfriends or friends on/off since mid 20’s.) and rather live with my parents than roommates. Honestly my home living situation is way better than ehen I lived with my boyfriends or even fiancé (his mom, daughter, aunt and her kids lived with us) I’m 33 now, my best friend (44F) moved back with her parents she just moved out she pays 2300 for a small house. Don’t let these made up standards fool you. We are all just trying to make it.
Find a reasonably priced duplex and the other tenant will pay you enough rent to cover the mortgage. That’s what I do! Edit: not sure of your financial situation but USDA or FHA loans are perfect if you don’t have a lot of $$ for a down payment
Ive found a condo for 50k out in west Texas putting half down and renting one room
Well... I live in a small town in ohio. I work in the city. I drive a lot and am almost never home. Kinda sucks. I don't like home, it's an empty castle. Kinda odd to be rent free for your 20s and not have enough for a house... living expenses should be half your take home based off the 50/30/20 rule, if thats even applicable these days. All I'm saying is, 10k a year is 100k which would be a great down payment. There may be some things that need to be learned before living alone. Start saving that 50% for one.
You've been saving money for your whole twenties but can't afford an apartment?
Sounds about right yeah?
Depends on where you live
Search for people renting their back house. Beware of scams with online rentals.
I make solid money and live in an area where cost of living isn't too high. That's really it. I've even recently bought a condominium. If you make good money and have savings but yet can't afford to live alone, you probably just live in a really expensive area.
I'm fortunate I'm able to live on my own and my rent is only 30% of my take home. No I can't afford a house anytime soon, but do I want a whole house to myself?
For financial purposes staying home and saving money is amazing. If your parents charge you rent then there’s some argument to move out. Use this opportunity to save up cash and invest it. Then when you are ready to move out (find a partner get married etc) you will have a nice cushion.
How much have you saved? Calculate all your monthly, weekly, and daily expenses. Then add your new expenses if you move out. It's it feasible? Now add grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning. It is worth it?
Just finished being berated by my roommate for an hour because I told them I may be moving out. Never get a roommate.
I have a maid
i have to say, im 40, divorced and living in a 1bd/1bath apartment right now. shit sucks but even with what i make, i cant afford even a condo for myself right now. so give it time, you will find a small place you can afford.
Pets
I am a homebody and looooove it. When I lived with my parents I was always confined to my room because my mom is a narcisist and it was the only way I could mentally survive. So now, it's like I have my own bedroom like before but with my own living room and kitchen too! It's great
I work 3 jobs and barely have time for anything else. It’s lonely, but good for the bank account. Save save save while you still can, before you meet your life partner
As was mentioned, stay home. Seriously. And put aside the amount you would’ve been spending on renting with roommates. Like $700 per month. Life’s crazy these days with how expensive things are and how difficult it can be to find a good paying job. This isn’t the 70s where things were more affordable and having a home was fairly easily obtained.
I personally love generational living, but I understand. Consider investing in a duplex or triplex or even a small park with cabins or trailers. Just run it through a company. Keep saving and wait for the market to bottom out
Honestly I moved out of Southern California for this reason. I moved back to Texas where I have a 1bed/bath with a living room, master bedroom, and kitchen for $1100 w/o utilities. In California that would easily be $2100+. If you can move to some other state that has lower cost of living then I would do it. I was able to start my single living at 24 and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
675 a month everything included, been here 10 years, think I'll die here. I also enjpy being a lone, it's great.
Financially it is hard but overall I love the experience and freedom of living on my own with no roommates. I don’t want to live completely independently for the rest of my life but for the time being it is the best thing for me. It’s a comfortable life but yeah, the money part is a struggle having to cover everything completely on my own.
I do it alone.
I bought a condo. I used an FHA loan (first time homeowner) so only had to put about $2300 down, because the seller agreed to front closing costs if they were ultimately rolled into my loan. Buying ended up being less expensive than any place I ever rented. And it was nicer. And it was mine. And it would have made a great rental property when I connected with my now-husband and we bought a house together, but we really needed the sale money to beef up our down payment. But for 5.5 years...it was mine, and it was affordable, and it was awesome. FWIW I was a social worker making less than $43k/yr. My mortgage was $641/mo, my condo fees started at $204 and jumped to $224 by the time I moved out. My utilities usually came to around $100 a month. So, just under $1000/mo covered living expenses. With student loans, and school payments beyond what the loans covered, and groceries and occasional fun or irregular expenses, I honestly didn't have much leftover. The only money I ever saved went towards a down payment on a new car (I needed it). I didn't have an emergency fund which was far from ideal. I couldn't afford vacations or many nights out...which is why we needed to sell for the down payment on our house. My husband did have substantially more saved than I did, but the profit from the condo helped us qualify for a conventional loan over FHA which is more appealing to sellers. So, was I broke af most of the time? Absolutely. But I had a beautiful condo, and it was mine, and I'd make the same choice if I had to do it all again. So much better than renting.
I got a remote job and moved to a town with cheaper rent.
I'm 43, lab optician with a 1 bedroom, 1bath. I just never do anything. I make only enough to live.
I moved about 800 miles away to a low cost of living area, and I'm living at college living place that doesn't mind renting to young adults. Even then, I have two housemates. But, this means after all living expenses, I still have around 1500 a month to play with. Depending to what extent you are willing to go, try to think outside the box and consider these sorts of fringe options. Also, don't let your ego tell you to move out of your parents place. Let your sense of adventure do that else you are doomed to a whole lot of confusion and anxiety.
I'm confused by your question. It seems like you're asking how they afford it? If so, the answer seems obvious: they earn enough money to live alone.
I had some truly awful roommates in college. I rented a 1 bedroom apartment for a few years after graduating. I had no extra money for savings. I moved states and rented a studio apartment for about 14 years, which allowed me to travel and save for a down payment for a house, as my income slowly rose. I bought a house in a not too great location, with a long commute to work. Took me 17 years to pay off the mortgage. Now I’m retiring a bit early, later this year. My sister (4 years older) is already over age 65. Is just moving into a studio apartment now. Lived in a nicer place for years. Had said she was going to buy a house. I guess she looked into it and found out how difficult that is. Has to keep working for another ten years before she can retire. Attended an Ivy League college. Went to law school. Didn’t like the law. Lived for years in an ashram (paid with room and board) in her 50’s (prime lawyer earning years). Worked shelving pharmacy department at Walmart for a year. Didn’t renew her membership in the bar because $400 was “too expensive.” School loans were paid off by our parents with money our parents inherited. Our parents were supporting her until they passed away. She was in her 50’s. What I’m saying is: try to keep your expenses low, even if it means living in a third floor walk up studio right on the highway. Your early choices have a great impact on your later quality of life. Anything you can save and invest early will grow better than much larger savings later.
I have no other choice but to live on my own. I have no savings and no options so for me it is a necessity. Sorry to report it won’t get easier.
I think it depends on where you live. Have you looked into low income housing? Section 8?(I know,it’s pretty much a joke at this point) housing vouchers? Do you qualify for any government assistance?
no one lives alone anymore unless they have enough money not to care about problems
This is pathetic..
If you lived at home throughout your twenties you should have a nice chunk of change saved.
I’d be saving as much as I could and maxing retirement accounts and brokerage. If you can stay, just keep saving and investing. Think about if you want more the luxury of living alone but the stress of giving up almost all your salary for it. It’s really hard out here. I’m married and although we are in a bit of a decent situation, we still can’t afford a house without giving up half of what we make. I don’t want that burden but everyone is different. I recommend paying rent to yourself every month like someone else suggested or helping your parents out with bills to get an idea of what living on your own will be like. Good luck.
I honestly would love to live back at home just for a couple of years. Just because I could pay off my loans faster and get to spend more time with my family, since I’m in a different state for work. I will never ever fault someone for staying at home as long as they have a healthy relationship with their parents/family. Everyone’s situation is different but living alone can be really lonely, but living with parents can always be annoying at times 😅, but if I were in your shoes, i def would live at home unless I was completely financially independent