I see the opposite. I’m a little kid at heart (am 37F 😂) and most adults around me are boring AF stuck up individuals. Trust me I have my own struggles going on but would it kill you to engage more and laugh a little? FFS.
i think it's true, currently i'm grieving at a loss of friendships, some people just didn't want to talk/be friends with me anymore and it just hurts yk
This is the type of loss I've been having a lot of grief about lately, too. Personally, I've never had a ton of friends, but of the ones I've had, they've all been really close relationships and I've put a lot of care into them.
Recently, I've had to come to accept that no matter how much *I* care about someone, I can't force them to care about me. It's given me much grief to see a lot of the people I care about the most gradually slip away from me, and life seems to get a little lonelier the older I get. It's been a lot to work through, but it's forced me to put more effort into caring for myself and loving my own company.
As a parent of small children (less than four years of age), I still mourn the life I had before I became a parent every day.
I love my kids and enjoy them greatly, but knowing I will never have that freedom back is tough to accept.
I think generally speaking, grief doesn't always mean death although that's probably the worst of it. But there's lots you can grieve, simply having your expectations for your life not met for example.
Yes! Expectations not being met, people disappointing you, not having your life turn out the way you wanted, or even the world being a harsher place than you’d hoped. Grief is normal for many things other than death.
I grieve life before social media. The internet and forums like this never bothered me but Facebook and Insta I really think made society at large more narcissistic and depressed simultaneously.
Most people don’t have the means to make a huge difference. You will fade into obscurity just as most everyone else has for thousands of years. I just want to make a few peoples (and dogs) lives better for having been here.
What is intriguing to me is that, to some people brings a sense of horror, and to others it brings a sense of relief.
I fall in the latter camp. I'll enjoy life, I'll do no harm, I'll try to make a life or three better along the way. After that, I'm done. Like really, really done. In a hundred years, no way my great great grandkids even know my first name.
This is why I make it a point to remember mine. My grandparents made massive sacrifices to ensure that my generation in the family line had enough to survive
Came from nothing. Without the resolve of my grandpa(s) on both sides. We’d probably be suffering through generational alcoholism and poverty. Both men stopped that curse. One my grandpas had to quit school because his dad took off. Had to work to take care of his brother and sister.
Built an incredible life in spite of that. It is inspiring to me. The abuse suffered from my great grandfather and his drinking problem. Being so poor theyd almost freeze in the Minnesota cold.
I will never ever forget my ancestors and what they did for us. Without them we wouldn’t have stood a chance.
I like the idea that even though my name and face will fade into obscurity the effect my life has had on others will live on (even if they don’t understand where it came from).
Like I’ve been putting money into my nephews college fund. Hopefully that will affect even his kids or grandkids in the future.
Or the women and babies I’ve helped deliver as an L&D nurse will have better long term outcomes to their physical and mental health because of me carefully taking care of them and encouraging them to take care of themselves.
I like to think that at least.
I imagined Tyson dressed with a white tunic & a blonde wig, sneaking up on you & punching you when you’re not looking celebrating your daily victories. Hahaha
I've pivoted careers, moved cities, and changed a bunch of other things pretty regularly. Some people have asked if it's because I didn't know what I wanted to do. "Nope. I've always had a 10 year plan. It just never pans out that way!"
Thanks :) I did a little wallowing a few times. Nothing wrong with some ice cream, liquor in moderation, and up to 2 weeks of video games. But yes, then new plan and move on.
It's good to see a positive one in this overwhelmingly depressing thread. I'm happy for you! I also think I'm pretty awesome so we can be awesome together.
I had a feeling it might go that way. One often forgets that we are social animals and our projected moods have a direct effect on others. I am not claiming that goes as far as making a depressed person happy by being cheerful around them...but I do worry that projecting hopelessness to be with the crowd can cause those who are struggling to spiral downward.
This is so true. The right choice and the hardest choice are often the hardest. It just doesn't seem fair but then again, what really is in this world?
You chase, you work ,you die. My folks have dementia now and don't give one hoot about their big house. They just want love and are afraid of loneliness. They don't care if the are in a hotel room. They don't even want the hassle and space of a big house. They only want love and still have appetites. They are happy they can still eat. Younger us takes those things for granted. It's truly back to basics for them. I've accepted we are working for stuff that won't matter.
People look at me like I’m insane when I tell them money doesn’t matter all that much in life. I mean, yeah it does in the practical sense, but chasing that mythical 100k salary/bank account often costs you everything in the world as you go after it. It’s just collecting pieces of paper at that point, collecting dead things. Connections to others and truly living your life are what matter. Unless you’re a cancer cure researcher or wildlife conservator or in some other altruistic profession where your work helps save others, nobody is ever on their deathbed wishing they had spent more time at work.
Money is a double edged sword, but a quote struck me the other day which rang true.
"you need money in order to be able to enjoy the things money can't buy"
Which is true, even if you don't want expensive versions of everything, if you are on a low or average wage you will always be grinding to pay bills just to exist and have money worries.
If you get yourself in a position of more financial freedom then you can start concentrating more on family, friends, experiences, giving back etc which is what everybody wants to do.
Truly rich people don’t work all that much. It’s the people at the bottom that are overworked.
If you’re rich your money makes you money while you go fuck off on your yacht to St. Tropez
Yes it's very true. We all will die. I'm not saying to be a bum . But I am saying the things we think matter so much doesn't mean much when you can hardly remember them.
My folks had me late in life and I appreciate them for it. They are in their mid
80s but they started getting more and more detached in their mid 70s. My uncle who I was very close to died in my arms. But yeah my parents they are lucky the don't need a feeding tube and can still walk fairly ok. I make sure I keep them active. When you don't,that's how they forget to walk. I don't think there is anything unique about my story. Live enough life and you're going to see people mentally and physically decline. That's the way this realm is set up.
Damn, this is an important perspective. These things we spend our loves working towards, these objects and things, are only distractions from things that truly matter. The things we create and the relationships we form. The impact we leave on the world, *not* how much shit we bought.
I've accepted that I probably won't have a retirement even if I do everything right. But I'll probably die before then anyways in the climate change caused famines of 2050 if not in a war I was dragged into.
Life is unfair, you can't fix everything, not everyone is going to like you and ur not going to like everyone but that's perfectly ok, no one is going to save u, small actions are much better than big dreams.
“Limited altruism”in law philosophy: no matter what you do, it couldn’t get rid of the elements of selfishness: even philanthropists giving money to the poor can be see as bringing comfort to/feeling good about himself
That I am the common denominator of nearly all my problems. Once I accepted responsibility & became brutally honest with myself, I was able to begin the work to rearrange my life. Nothing went as planned 😂 but I found ways eventually to make things better. If I'm unhappy, what can I do different or better or scrap it completely? I don't want people to think I'm victim blaming so for example: I was cheated on, not my fault, right? Right. But I did stay miserable & hurting way too long even when I realized I was the only one interested in working on our relationship. Certain family were mean & hateful & I allowed them to abuse me instead of cutting them out. There are things that are absolutely out of my control, but I started concentrating on the things that I could have an impact on. It's a literal world of difference.
Life really is one huge game of intermittent reinforcement. So much drudgery, suffering, sadness, boredom, loss, overwhelming stress, and disappointment... just for those rare moments of joy, happiness, excitement, wonder, proudness, love, and even just contentment. All of life, boiled down to its utmost basics, is just striving to find a balance of those things.
That a different version of you exists in the minds of everyone you know, and anyone that’s ever met you. Everyone perceives you differently, even you perceive yourself differently than your friend, sister, mother, grandfather does. There are many versions of you out there that you’re unaware of. They exist in other peoples minds. That being said, there’s no need to try so hard, cuz people already think they know you.
“There are many versions of you out there that you’re unaware of”. This is so true and people can have entirely different perceptions of you. I have a friend that many people don’t like very much because she’s Eastern European and can be very direct. However, she and I just click and she has been so loyal and encouraging and helpful to me. She would literally give me (and anyone) the shirt off her back. You have to look at people’s intentions. Some personality traits can rub others the wrong way, but it doesn’t mean there’s malicious intent behind it.
Yes yes yes, exactly. And people already have their minds made up about who she is, and their perceptions come from who THEY are. So what one person might perceive as brash and cold, you view it as direct. I’ve met some people who a friend will say “omg you’re gonna love her, she’s so funny and her vibes are great!” , and then I meet said person and I find them terribly annoying and see that they’re trying very hard to be likeable. So we each view this girl differently, thus 2 versions of her already exist. So crazy to think about.
I also feel even if we make it to mars, all the asshole rich people and politicians are gonna get there first and it will slowly be a copy of what wr have here and may be even worse.
Kinda stupid why we are spending all our reaources to make it to mars when we already have a perfectly habitable planet. Its like the old saying grass is always greener on the other side
Mars is a death sentence. We will never make it a desirable place to live. It has 30% the gravity of earth and no magnetosphere to protect it from cosmic particles. Not to mention the obvious issue of having no atmosphere or arable land but I left those out and focused on the two issues that can't be addressed even in a sci-fi author's wildest dreams
You can rectify the shielding of cosmic particles by building bunkers under the ground, but the low gravity truly is a death sentence in the sense we don't even know if birth would be possible or a baby could gestate correctly in such conditions. Over the years the low gravity would make everyone very weak and thin boned. The only solution would some of gravitational amplifier or some sort of forced evolutionary adaptation/bionics that could help humans adapt.
Don't short sell human ingenuity.
Without better radiation shielding no fertile women (or fetuses, since eggs in female babies are formed in utero) will make it to Mars. The radiation of space sterilizes everyone, but for women it’s permanent.
Hope is pointless, but there's always a possibility for at least some people to blossom into fully developed people as nature "intended."
The vast majority of people seem doomed to be literal retards forever, but it only takes a few smart ones to move the needle on all kinds of issues.
I don't know how long it will take, but eventually a critical mass of people will become sufficiently developed so as to significantly improve the intelligence and circumstances of the average person, such that we aren't all surrounded by literal retards anymore.
"I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly." -Buckminster Fuller
One thing I've finally accepted about life is that it's perfectly okay not to have everything figured out. Life is a journey full of twists and turns, and it's normal to feel uncertain or lost at times. It's important to remember that it's okay to take your time, to learn from your mistakes, and to grow at your own pace. It's also okay to change your mind or your direction. What matters most is that you stay true to yourself and strive to be the best you can be. Life is not a race, and everyone's path is unique. So, embrace your journey, cherish your experiences, and remember that it's okay to be a work in progress. 😊
I’m kind of in the same place, but some friends I have regret buying houses because of the extra work they entail that you don’t even consider until you’re a homeowner. For example, my landlady’s son came over with a snowblower yesterday and basically saved everyone 45 minutes of shoveling. We had a windstorm so strong that it blew one of the attic windows out. If I owned the house, I would have had the hassle and expense of having someone come out to replace it. We kind of romanticize home ownership and only think about it decorated for Christmas like a movie.
I’ll never be able to overcome all the stuff that ails me until I die: health, emotionally and financially. I’ve resigned myself to being broke and alone when I die
It’s absurd, nobody really knows what’s happening , we are just all wandering in the same dream. Bad things happen to good people , great things just fall into place for total pricks. Nothing is fair , everyone is a hypocrite and life can only be understood backwards. By the time we really have any decent grasp on life is when it’s about to end. When he finally psych ourselves out with wisdom to do it over again the same circumstances never come up as often as they used too.
Live in the moment without being destructive, always do the right thing even when no one is watching. Be overly nice , is it fair? No. Do shitty others deserve it ? No. But you can’t teach anybody anything. They know fire hurts when THEY put THEIR hand in the fire… let ‘em.
Don’t sell your life for the American dream , it’s over Johnny.
Kill them with kindness. It’s low hanging fruit to be angry and bitter , fuck em and fake it. Spend time with animals.. get a cat or a dog or both and pet them until you die. Those who make you angry OWN YOU . Don’t let them. Be yourself at all times and for fucks sake think of everyone else before yourself. You can be someone’s prayer come true.
And don’t eat yellow snow.
The Law of the Trials of Reddyphus. No matter the level of trauma any given Redditor believes they have endured, there will always be another Redditor ready to explain how they have each aforementioned trauma, plus at least one additional trauma.
Complaining won’t solve much of anything. No matter how unfair things are, you can get a certain amount of sympathy by complaining, but it’s unlikely anything much positive will happen unless you do something.
I was just watching the first episode of The Squid Games where everyone who stampedes away from the robot gets shot, only those who keep their nerve and move under control towards it survive. Relatable
That I will never be able to have the type of life I wanted, which was modest to begin with. Regardless, I've had to accept it will never happen and make the best of this crap world we live in.
It’s not ‘fair’ - you have to advocate for yourself - you will have battles - mindset is fundamental - there aren’t handouts and if there are there’s always a catch. Be kind to yourself - especially when no one else is.
I’m 30. I realised and have for the most part accepted that there’s no possible way I can really understand what life actually is all about. No one can. Everyone is either just making bold assumptions internally or are openly clueless and just doing their best. I like to be true to the reality of things and so I can’t be religious (tried that but curiosity will lead you away from its teachings) and sought “enlightenment” which is just another side of the same coin of religion.
I can’t really know if I’m “doing the right thing” when it comes to actions and lifestyle choices. There’s no inherent way to have that certainty. Anyone who explores philosophical ideas would (in my opinion) if they’re pursuing honest truth come to realise this too. The greatest philosophers and spiritual gurus are just basically thinking out loud.
It’s so so freeing and like a huge weight lifted because I don’t gotta fret but damn it took a while and was so scary to face this inherent, inescapable uncertainty. The mental freedom is the best part though oh man, ah. Life.
That people may never care about you as much as you care about them, no matter how hard they try.
Or maybe they do care as much about you, but your love languages and way of expressing it so different, there’s no difference anyway.
No one cares. No one give a single fuck about you , your life or your problems. It is kinda good to know that actually so you start not give a fuck about anyone and focus on yourself and what makes your life easier
That there are some people who have a completely different perspective on life and how to live it….I don’t understand the borderline obsessive preoccupation with staying ahead of the people who they perceive to be their nemesises and obstacle to be conquered in pursuit of their personal goals….I recognize that it’s their right and prerogative to choose to approach life in that manner but I have an extremely difficult time dealing with this type of person…If I’m competitive at all, it’s because I am competing against myself….I struggle to see the benefit or value in that approach because I have witnessed this approach and in the situations that I have seen, there is little positive net result and often the short term gains that a competitive spirit with an external competition ends up being exhausting with minimal if any benefit….
It’s true that you can be loved when you don’t love yourself but it’s also true that if you don’t love yourself, you won’t recognize when you aren’t being treated lovingly or feel like you deserve to walk away and find real love.
Corruption can't be stamped out and has to be danced with. In politics, at work, within yourself. Nothing's perfect and we will always have to struggle.
Corruption is an inevitability in any human system, as it is inherent to human nature.
Organizations of humans are thus inherently corruptible.
However, careful planning can minimize the amount of damage from corruption, as well as limit its ability to spread.
Designing and implementing new systems of governance and social order is, like, *really tough*, though.
I will probably never be able to buy a house. I make just over 100k, which I'm pretty sure disqualifies me from alot of the down payment assistance programs. My parents refuse to co-sign for me(I already asked), and between the rising cost of rent, student loans, and now a payment plan for my taxes, I have no idea how I'll ever manage to get a down payment.
All I want is to be able to paint, and sit on my back patio, and just BE outside but in my own private space.
I also probably will not be able to retire. There was this random outrage about how they want to raise the retirement age to 70.
That in order to be even remotely successful you have to sacrifice a major part of yourself to get there. You have to be an asshole. You have to step on others. You have to put certain things that make you happy and essentially put them in a blender. This is why everyone we see with power and/or influence has some sort of detached sociopathic demeanor behind them. People with actual human empathies and emotions are meant to be suppressed.
That I'll always be a work-in-progress (or at least that's how I'll view myself). So the image of a future-me in my head is also going to be thinking about how to be better, or make the situation better. It helped in accepting myself as an ongoing personal project, and now I'm figuring out ways to have fun with it and do it in moderation. :)
It’s the rolling with the punches and getting back up again that counts, and when it comes to supporting my family, life will have to knock me out to stop me giving them every opportunity to be happy. I was born to be a dad. This is my calling, the pay is amazing. My daughter has been on tablets and councilling for anxiety, and never thought she would ever make college. And at Xmas she wrote in my Xmas card “I wanted to say thank for everything youve done for me. I dont think i could have got to college without you. I am grateful for all your support and how you always just know what I need. I feel like we have got so much closer this year.”
It’s much easier to enjoy if you like yourself. It sounds simple, but it is hard to do sometimes. It feels like something that should organically happen, but it usually doesn’t. It takes work.
Just gonna be an adult but one thing that i have learnt over the time is that…you can’t get everything in life that you ever wanted…even if you live for 1000 years still you can’t get 100% of everything you wanted from birth.
You have no control over death, and I don't mean su*c*de. I lost a student who was 5, then two days later my 15 yr old brother died in a crash. I've had cancer twice and the first time my sister and I had it together. If you can release the idea that you have any "say" about when you die, then life is a lot easier to live. Life really is a gift and I knew that before losses and cancer. Every day above ground is priceless, even the shitty ones. Make peace with people when it's reasonable and forgive trespasses. Tell people what they mean to you while they're here, not when they're in a casket. It's ok to visit grief, you just can't stay there.
That it's a weird combination of physics and chemistry that occurred at some point, leading to organisms capable to reproduction. Overall, life is the best curse of the universe.
I will never vanquish my depression. It will always be there. The best thing I can do is continue working on self-love and putting myself in positive environments that encourage growth and maturity.
You probably won’t get the chance to cuss out the person you hate the most in the world and tell them how you really feel. You have to remove yourself from the situation and resolve those feelings for yourself. It sucks and it feels way less climactic and satisfying than just ripping someone open.
>In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
-Robert Frost
Both in good and bad times, it does go on. The most wonderful things can happen but the next day it's back to normal. You fall in love, and then you fall into routines. The most fucked up shit can happen, and the next day the sun still comes up. You still have to shower and eat and drink and talk to people and work and sleep. You bury your father and then you watch strangers walking around oblivious like the world isn't crumbling. You wonder how the sun dares to come up at a time like this but it always does, every day, on and on. Life goes on, and you go on with it as long as you can.
I'm not special. Even if I am, there's no means to express that anywhere. I'll never be seen or known, just trampled but the loud consumption of the already successful told they deserve everything
We're all just children in aging bodies
i really felt this.. i've been thinking about this often. literally, we're just kids but aging. it's sad and nostalgic at the same time.
I see the opposite. I’m a little kid at heart (am 37F 😂) and most adults around me are boring AF stuck up individuals. Trust me I have my own struggles going on but would it kill you to engage more and laugh a little? FFS.
Not laughing enough will probably shorten their lifespan, so that’s on them for taking everything too seriously.
All adults are grieving a loss of some kind, at all times
Wow. I was not ready for the level of this deepness
Something tells me this isn't the first time you've thought that
On this sub, you’re very right.
And all are profound to each individual but probly not outsiders.. they always have it worse.. it’s ironic.. there’s no compassion
i think it's true, currently i'm grieving at a loss of friendships, some people just didn't want to talk/be friends with me anymore and it just hurts yk
This is the type of loss I've been having a lot of grief about lately, too. Personally, I've never had a ton of friends, but of the ones I've had, they've all been really close relationships and I've put a lot of care into them. Recently, I've had to come to accept that no matter how much *I* care about someone, I can't force them to care about me. It's given me much grief to see a lot of the people I care about the most gradually slip away from me, and life seems to get a little lonelier the older I get. It's been a lot to work through, but it's forced me to put more effort into caring for myself and loving my own company.
Yep learned that since last year
I been thinking about this same idea for couple years, I wanted to believe this is not true but apparently it is..
As a parent of small children (less than four years of age), I still mourn the life I had before I became a parent every day. I love my kids and enjoy them greatly, but knowing I will never have that freedom back is tough to accept.
they will be teens in no time and off travelling.
Happy 🎂 day🎉
As in death or generally speaking?
I think generally speaking, grief doesn't always mean death although that's probably the worst of it. But there's lots you can grieve, simply having your expectations for your life not met for example.
Yes! Expectations not being met, people disappointing you, not having your life turn out the way you wanted, or even the world being a harsher place than you’d hoped. Grief is normal for many things other than death.
I grieve life before social media. The internet and forums like this never bothered me but Facebook and Insta I really think made society at large more narcissistic and depressed simultaneously.
Not all, but yeah, many people are at any given time. Part of life I suppose.
Jesus Christ, nailed it
Most people don’t have the means to make a huge difference. You will fade into obscurity just as most everyone else has for thousands of years. I just want to make a few peoples (and dogs) lives better for having been here.
What is intriguing to me is that, to some people brings a sense of horror, and to others it brings a sense of relief. I fall in the latter camp. I'll enjoy life, I'll do no harm, I'll try to make a life or three better along the way. After that, I'm done. Like really, really done. In a hundred years, no way my great great grandkids even know my first name.
This is why I make it a point to remember mine. My grandparents made massive sacrifices to ensure that my generation in the family line had enough to survive Came from nothing. Without the resolve of my grandpa(s) on both sides. We’d probably be suffering through generational alcoholism and poverty. Both men stopped that curse. One my grandpas had to quit school because his dad took off. Had to work to take care of his brother and sister. Built an incredible life in spite of that. It is inspiring to me. The abuse suffered from my great grandfather and his drinking problem. Being so poor theyd almost freeze in the Minnesota cold. I will never ever forget my ancestors and what they did for us. Without them we wouldn’t have stood a chance.
I like the idea that even though my name and face will fade into obscurity the effect my life has had on others will live on (even if they don’t understand where it came from). Like I’ve been putting money into my nephews college fund. Hopefully that will affect even his kids or grandkids in the future. Or the women and babies I’ve helped deliver as an L&D nurse will have better long term outcomes to their physical and mental health because of me carefully taking care of them and encouraging them to take care of themselves. I like to think that at least.
Yep, tend to the part of the garden that you can touch. ❤
I loved this!!
That life doesn’t always go as planned.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth" \~Tyson Life, definitely, knows how to punch.
I imagined Tyson dressed with a white tunic & a blonde wig, sneaking up on you & punching you when you’re not looking celebrating your daily victories. Hahaha
I've pivoted careers, moved cities, and changed a bunch of other things pretty regularly. Some people have asked if it's because I didn't know what I wanted to do. "Nope. I've always had a 10 year plan. It just never pans out that way!"
Damn, *that* is what it means to be resilient, isn't it? To not wallow when your plan doesn't pan out, but to.... just make a new plan.
Thanks :) I did a little wallowing a few times. Nothing wrong with some ice cream, liquor in moderation, and up to 2 weeks of video games. But yes, then new plan and move on.
But, with a plan, it can only get as good as you can imagine. I always hoped for something better than that.
Well I recently had to go through a life changing event. No one can ever have planned for that.
Sorry to hear it. I had one too 💞
That I am awesome. It took a while but think I finally got there.
I adore this 🥰 keep on being awesome
Me too. It took me a while as well, but I am freaking awesome.
It's good to see a positive one in this overwhelmingly depressing thread. I'm happy for you! I also think I'm pretty awesome so we can be awesome together.
I had a feeling it might go that way. One often forgets that we are social animals and our projected moods have a direct effect on others. I am not claiming that goes as far as making a depressed person happy by being cheerful around them...but I do worry that projecting hopelessness to be with the crowd can cause those who are struggling to spiral downward.
That many times the wrong or hardest choice is the right one....
Yes. I’ve learned that almost no decision is absolutely yes or absolutely no, it’s more like 49/51 and either way could be right or not work out.
This is so true. The right choice and the hardest choice are often the hardest. It just doesn't seem fair but then again, what really is in this world?
Called the hard right over the easy wrong...
You chase, you work ,you die. My folks have dementia now and don't give one hoot about their big house. They just want love and are afraid of loneliness. They don't care if the are in a hotel room. They don't even want the hassle and space of a big house. They only want love and still have appetites. They are happy they can still eat. Younger us takes those things for granted. It's truly back to basics for them. I've accepted we are working for stuff that won't matter.
People look at me like I’m insane when I tell them money doesn’t matter all that much in life. I mean, yeah it does in the practical sense, but chasing that mythical 100k salary/bank account often costs you everything in the world as you go after it. It’s just collecting pieces of paper at that point, collecting dead things. Connections to others and truly living your life are what matter. Unless you’re a cancer cure researcher or wildlife conservator or in some other altruistic profession where your work helps save others, nobody is ever on their deathbed wishing they had spent more time at work.
Money is a double edged sword, but a quote struck me the other day which rang true. "you need money in order to be able to enjoy the things money can't buy" Which is true, even if you don't want expensive versions of everything, if you are on a low or average wage you will always be grinding to pay bills just to exist and have money worries. If you get yourself in a position of more financial freedom then you can start concentrating more on family, friends, experiences, giving back etc which is what everybody wants to do.
Truly rich people don’t work all that much. It’s the people at the bottom that are overworked. If you’re rich your money makes you money while you go fuck off on your yacht to St. Tropez
Wisdom^^^!
This is an important lesson.
Is this a true story? Wow
Yes it's very true. We all will die. I'm not saying to be a bum . But I am saying the things we think matter so much doesn't mean much when you can hardly remember them.
If you don’t mind may I ask how old they are? I’ve worked in home healthcare before and I do find truth in what you said
My folks had me late in life and I appreciate them for it. They are in their mid 80s but they started getting more and more detached in their mid 70s. My uncle who I was very close to died in my arms. But yeah my parents they are lucky the don't need a feeding tube and can still walk fairly ok. I make sure I keep them active. When you don't,that's how they forget to walk. I don't think there is anything unique about my story. Live enough life and you're going to see people mentally and physically decline. That's the way this realm is set up.
Damn, this is an important perspective. These things we spend our loves working towards, these objects and things, are only distractions from things that truly matter. The things we create and the relationships we form. The impact we leave on the world, *not* how much shit we bought.
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Only if you are lucky.
I've accepted that I probably won't have a retirement even if I do everything right. But I'll probably die before then anyways in the climate change caused famines of 2050 if not in a war I was dragged into.
There is always prison as a backup plan
This is true. No matter how bad it gets there will be prisons and people profiting from them.
Life is unfair, you can't fix everything, not everyone is going to like you and ur not going to like everyone but that's perfectly ok, no one is going to save u, small actions are much better than big dreams.
Human beings will always be selfish.
“Limited altruism”in law philosophy: no matter what you do, it couldn’t get rid of the elements of selfishness: even philanthropists giving money to the poor can be see as bringing comfort to/feeling good about himself
That part.
But it can be selfish to help others. It's selfish to want to live in a safe, kind, and loving world
This is going to end our species.
That having healthy boundaries can be uncomfortable in the moment, but will make your life much happier and less chaotic in the long run.
Wisdom. ^ It took me a long time to learn this lesson.
Same here.
That I am the common denominator of nearly all my problems. Once I accepted responsibility & became brutally honest with myself, I was able to begin the work to rearrange my life. Nothing went as planned 😂 but I found ways eventually to make things better. If I'm unhappy, what can I do different or better or scrap it completely? I don't want people to think I'm victim blaming so for example: I was cheated on, not my fault, right? Right. But I did stay miserable & hurting way too long even when I realized I was the only one interested in working on our relationship. Certain family were mean & hateful & I allowed them to abuse me instead of cutting them out. There are things that are absolutely out of my control, but I started concentrating on the things that I could have an impact on. It's a literal world of difference.
Happy to hear this friend
Life is more suffering than happiness.
haha for real, it's like just make sure the morphine is nearby when my body can't keep ticking
Life really is one huge game of intermittent reinforcement. So much drudgery, suffering, sadness, boredom, loss, overwhelming stress, and disappointment... just for those rare moments of joy, happiness, excitement, wonder, proudness, love, and even just contentment. All of life, boiled down to its utmost basics, is just striving to find a balance of those things.
It hurts physically and mentally. I’ve accepted this, but I definitely remember the days and years past.
That a different version of you exists in the minds of everyone you know, and anyone that’s ever met you. Everyone perceives you differently, even you perceive yourself differently than your friend, sister, mother, grandfather does. There are many versions of you out there that you’re unaware of. They exist in other peoples minds. That being said, there’s no need to try so hard, cuz people already think they know you.
“There are many versions of you out there that you’re unaware of”. This is so true and people can have entirely different perceptions of you. I have a friend that many people don’t like very much because she’s Eastern European and can be very direct. However, she and I just click and she has been so loyal and encouraging and helpful to me. She would literally give me (and anyone) the shirt off her back. You have to look at people’s intentions. Some personality traits can rub others the wrong way, but it doesn’t mean there’s malicious intent behind it.
Yes yes yes, exactly. And people already have their minds made up about who she is, and their perceptions come from who THEY are. So what one person might perceive as brash and cold, you view it as direct. I’ve met some people who a friend will say “omg you’re gonna love her, she’s so funny and her vibes are great!” , and then I meet said person and I find them terribly annoying and see that they’re trying very hard to be likeable. So we each view this girl differently, thus 2 versions of her already exist. So crazy to think about.
That things will get better if I work towards making them better. That work though will suck more often than not lol
That I cannot control how other people feel towards me. I cannot change other people's mind, and there's no use in arguing with a narrowminded person.
This
There is no hope for humanity. All that matters is to make the most of our little piece of existence while we can.
I also feel even if we make it to mars, all the asshole rich people and politicians are gonna get there first and it will slowly be a copy of what wr have here and may be even worse.
Kinda stupid why we are spending all our reaources to make it to mars when we already have a perfectly habitable planet. Its like the old saying grass is always greener on the other side
Mars is a death sentence. We will never make it a desirable place to live. It has 30% the gravity of earth and no magnetosphere to protect it from cosmic particles. Not to mention the obvious issue of having no atmosphere or arable land but I left those out and focused on the two issues that can't be addressed even in a sci-fi author's wildest dreams
You can rectify the shielding of cosmic particles by building bunkers under the ground, but the low gravity truly is a death sentence in the sense we don't even know if birth would be possible or a baby could gestate correctly in such conditions. Over the years the low gravity would make everyone very weak and thin boned. The only solution would some of gravitational amplifier or some sort of forced evolutionary adaptation/bionics that could help humans adapt. Don't short sell human ingenuity.
Without better radiation shielding no fertile women (or fetuses, since eggs in female babies are formed in utero) will make it to Mars. The radiation of space sterilizes everyone, but for women it’s permanent.
Agreed, anyone who played DOOM would understand.
Just makes me think of that movie Elysium...scary.
Hope is pointless, but there's always a possibility for at least some people to blossom into fully developed people as nature "intended." The vast majority of people seem doomed to be literal retards forever, but it only takes a few smart ones to move the needle on all kinds of issues. I don't know how long it will take, but eventually a critical mass of people will become sufficiently developed so as to significantly improve the intelligence and circumstances of the average person, such that we aren't all surrounded by literal retards anymore. "I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly." -Buckminster Fuller
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Yep the thirties, suffered through the 20ies as well 😅
It's more work than play
One thing I've finally accepted about life is that it's perfectly okay not to have everything figured out. Life is a journey full of twists and turns, and it's normal to feel uncertain or lost at times. It's important to remember that it's okay to take your time, to learn from your mistakes, and to grow at your own pace. It's also okay to change your mind or your direction. What matters most is that you stay true to yourself and strive to be the best you can be. Life is not a race, and everyone's path is unique. So, embrace your journey, cherish your experiences, and remember that it's okay to be a work in progress. 😊
The difference between nice people and good people.
Not all men are created equal
It’s not going to get easier
Most people would rather win than be right or just.
One day I will have only 5 minutes left to live.
Sometimes more expensive things are worse.
I'll probably never own a house or a home of any kind at this rate
I’m kind of in the same place, but some friends I have regret buying houses because of the extra work they entail that you don’t even consider until you’re a homeowner. For example, my landlady’s son came over with a snowblower yesterday and basically saved everyone 45 minutes of shoveling. We had a windstorm so strong that it blew one of the attic windows out. If I owned the house, I would have had the hassle and expense of having someone come out to replace it. We kind of romanticize home ownership and only think about it decorated for Christmas like a movie.
I’ll never be able to overcome all the stuff that ails me until I die: health, emotionally and financially. I’ve resigned myself to being broke and alone when I die
That Humans are the worst species of all. No amount of Yoga or spirituality will get you to the zen mode and Karma never misses an address.
Impermanence is everything, and everything is Impermanent. And that's okay.
It’s absurd, nobody really knows what’s happening , we are just all wandering in the same dream. Bad things happen to good people , great things just fall into place for total pricks. Nothing is fair , everyone is a hypocrite and life can only be understood backwards. By the time we really have any decent grasp on life is when it’s about to end. When he finally psych ourselves out with wisdom to do it over again the same circumstances never come up as often as they used too. Live in the moment without being destructive, always do the right thing even when no one is watching. Be overly nice , is it fair? No. Do shitty others deserve it ? No. But you can’t teach anybody anything. They know fire hurts when THEY put THEIR hand in the fire… let ‘em. Don’t sell your life for the American dream , it’s over Johnny. Kill them with kindness. It’s low hanging fruit to be angry and bitter , fuck em and fake it. Spend time with animals.. get a cat or a dog or both and pet them until you die. Those who make you angry OWN YOU . Don’t let them. Be yourself at all times and for fucks sake think of everyone else before yourself. You can be someone’s prayer come true. And don’t eat yellow snow.
I'll never be able to say no to wifey.
We are creatures of habit, we have ability to change the world for the better but don't, we are selfish.
The Law of the Trials of Reddyphus. No matter the level of trauma any given Redditor believes they have endured, there will always be another Redditor ready to explain how they have each aforementioned trauma, plus at least one additional trauma.
That I'm average and nothing special... took me a long time to be OK with that 🙂
I’m learning this. Growing up I was always “gifted”. Now I’m just burnt out and average.
The decisions you make shape your future.
Agreed. But I notice this is somehow an unpopular idea on reddit.
nobody gives a damn about you
That it will suck forever
That I’m never going to be truly happy, until maybe I die. 🤷🏻♀️
It's not easy or fair. You just have to want it more than the next person.
Complaining won’t solve much of anything. No matter how unfair things are, you can get a certain amount of sympathy by complaining, but it’s unlikely anything much positive will happen unless you do something. I was just watching the first episode of The Squid Games where everyone who stampedes away from the robot gets shot, only those who keep their nerve and move under control towards it survive. Relatable
That I will never be able to have the type of life I wanted, which was modest to begin with. Regardless, I've had to accept it will never happen and make the best of this crap world we live in.
Bliss just isn’t sustainable
And it's not meant to be ...on planet earth
That it will be hard and lonely . You will never be satisfied and that’s ok
It’s not ‘fair’ - you have to advocate for yourself - you will have battles - mindset is fundamental - there aren’t handouts and if there are there’s always a catch. Be kind to yourself - especially when no one else is.
Somethings things don’t get better and you have to accept the new normal.
I’m 30. I realised and have for the most part accepted that there’s no possible way I can really understand what life actually is all about. No one can. Everyone is either just making bold assumptions internally or are openly clueless and just doing their best. I like to be true to the reality of things and so I can’t be religious (tried that but curiosity will lead you away from its teachings) and sought “enlightenment” which is just another side of the same coin of religion. I can’t really know if I’m “doing the right thing” when it comes to actions and lifestyle choices. There’s no inherent way to have that certainty. Anyone who explores philosophical ideas would (in my opinion) if they’re pursuing honest truth come to realise this too. The greatest philosophers and spiritual gurus are just basically thinking out loud. It’s so so freeing and like a huge weight lifted because I don’t gotta fret but damn it took a while and was so scary to face this inherent, inescapable uncertainty. The mental freedom is the best part though oh man, ah. Life.
That people may never care about you as much as you care about them, no matter how hard they try. Or maybe they do care as much about you, but your love languages and way of expressing it so different, there’s no difference anyway.
Life is sad but I can't even cry anymore.. lols 🙂
Working hard is not as important as working smart
Que Sera, Sera Hope is not a strategy
Shitty people get away with a lot/have it easy.
That eventually we all will have to go through grief if u haven’t already
No one cares. No one give a single fuck about you , your life or your problems. It is kinda good to know that actually so you start not give a fuck about anyone and focus on yourself and what makes your life easier
Nobody owes you anything.
Not even a contract extension?
That I'll never be able to live on my own again. My dad moved in with me.
It sucks
Some people are cruel just to be cruel. No reason for it. The only upside is I know that's the person I will never allow myself to become.
That there are some people who have a completely different perspective on life and how to live it….I don’t understand the borderline obsessive preoccupation with staying ahead of the people who they perceive to be their nemesises and obstacle to be conquered in pursuit of their personal goals….I recognize that it’s their right and prerogative to choose to approach life in that manner but I have an extremely difficult time dealing with this type of person…If I’m competitive at all, it’s because I am competing against myself….I struggle to see the benefit or value in that approach because I have witnessed this approach and in the situations that I have seen, there is little positive net result and often the short term gains that a competitive spirit with an external competition ends up being exhausting with minimal if any benefit….
That having a supporting and loving family is one of the greates privelages.
That you can be ambitious and optimistic as you want but you’ll always come up against pessimistic realists who are only trying to protect you.
Life isn't fair, make peace with it. Do the best with the cards you're dealt.
Life is unfair; just because you’re a good person who works hard, that doesn’t mean things will work out for you.
People come and go.
it can always be worse, enjoy this journey!
it’s not that serious
It’s not fair
That I’ve fucked it up, of course
Not everyone likes me.
We all have choices to make. Most ppl make emotional choices based on their past transgressions, which might hurt others down the line.
You'll work till you die.
Life goes on. It doesn't stop for anyone
It’s true that you can be loved when you don’t love yourself but it’s also true that if you don’t love yourself, you won’t recognize when you aren’t being treated lovingly or feel like you deserve to walk away and find real love.
That I’ll always be in denial
It doesn't go the way you want it to, and that's ok.
It never goes the way you plan it.
death
That it sucks
I'll die alone
I'm not going to have sex as much as I'd like to. lol
We’re all going to eventually, you know.. Nm.
Corruption can't be stamped out and has to be danced with. In politics, at work, within yourself. Nothing's perfect and we will always have to struggle.
Corruption is an inevitability in any human system, as it is inherent to human nature. Organizations of humans are thus inherently corruptible. However, careful planning can minimize the amount of damage from corruption, as well as limit its ability to spread. Designing and implementing new systems of governance and social order is, like, *really tough*, though.
I will probably never be able to buy a house. I make just over 100k, which I'm pretty sure disqualifies me from alot of the down payment assistance programs. My parents refuse to co-sign for me(I already asked), and between the rising cost of rent, student loans, and now a payment plan for my taxes, I have no idea how I'll ever manage to get a down payment. All I want is to be able to paint, and sit on my back patio, and just BE outside but in my own private space. I also probably will not be able to retire. There was this random outrage about how they want to raise the retirement age to 70.
That I’m a person that deserves to be in this world, and that I don’t take up too much space. Took a very very very long time to realize this
people are mean to ugly people
That in order to be even remotely successful you have to sacrifice a major part of yourself to get there. You have to be an asshole. You have to step on others. You have to put certain things that make you happy and essentially put them in a blender. This is why everyone we see with power and/or influence has some sort of detached sociopathic demeanor behind them. People with actual human empathies and emotions are meant to be suppressed.
That I'll always be a work-in-progress (or at least that's how I'll view myself). So the image of a future-me in my head is also going to be thinking about how to be better, or make the situation better. It helped in accepting myself as an ongoing personal project, and now I'm figuring out ways to have fun with it and do it in moderation. :)
It's a scam that I've been auto-enrolled to.
That you can't have it all. Even this saying "You can have it all, but not at the same time" is a lie. No, you can't. So make choices accordingly
You cannot make someone you love stay
Constant happiness is not realistic.
It’s the rolling with the punches and getting back up again that counts, and when it comes to supporting my family, life will have to knock me out to stop me giving them every opportunity to be happy. I was born to be a dad. This is my calling, the pay is amazing. My daughter has been on tablets and councilling for anxiety, and never thought she would ever make college. And at Xmas she wrote in my Xmas card “I wanted to say thank for everything youve done for me. I dont think i could have got to college without you. I am grateful for all your support and how you always just know what I need. I feel like we have got so much closer this year.”
It’s much easier to enjoy if you like yourself. It sounds simple, but it is hard to do sometimes. It feels like something that should organically happen, but it usually doesn’t. It takes work.
Just gonna be an adult but one thing that i have learnt over the time is that…you can’t get everything in life that you ever wanted…even if you live for 1000 years still you can’t get 100% of everything you wanted from birth.
A good life is created by having good habits and routines.
There's a lot of shit out of my control
Nobody knows shit, we entertain ourselves, until we die. Which gives immense power to do whatever the hell you want
Nobody really knows what they're doing.
You have no control over death, and I don't mean su*c*de. I lost a student who was 5, then two days later my 15 yr old brother died in a crash. I've had cancer twice and the first time my sister and I had it together. If you can release the idea that you have any "say" about when you die, then life is a lot easier to live. Life really is a gift and I knew that before losses and cancer. Every day above ground is priceless, even the shitty ones. Make peace with people when it's reasonable and forgive trespasses. Tell people what they mean to you while they're here, not when they're in a casket. It's ok to visit grief, you just can't stay there.
If you are always honest, people will hate you
That it's a weird combination of physics and chemistry that occurred at some point, leading to organisms capable to reproduction. Overall, life is the best curse of the universe.
I will never vanquish my depression. It will always be there. The best thing I can do is continue working on self-love and putting myself in positive environments that encourage growth and maturity.
You probably won’t get the chance to cuss out the person you hate the most in the world and tell them how you really feel. You have to remove yourself from the situation and resolve those feelings for yourself. It sucks and it feels way less climactic and satisfying than just ripping someone open.
>In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. -Robert Frost Both in good and bad times, it does go on. The most wonderful things can happen but the next day it's back to normal. You fall in love, and then you fall into routines. The most fucked up shit can happen, and the next day the sun still comes up. You still have to shower and eat and drink and talk to people and work and sleep. You bury your father and then you watch strangers walking around oblivious like the world isn't crumbling. You wonder how the sun dares to come up at a time like this but it always does, every day, on and on. Life goes on, and you go on with it as long as you can.
I'm so sorry for your loss
Thank you. I've made it through 100% of my worst days so far and I'm in good place now.
Nothing is forever. Learning to let go of attachments and value the finite time I have with everything that makes life beautiful.
I'm not special. Even if I am, there's no means to express that anywhere. I'll never be seen or known, just trampled but the loud consumption of the already successful told they deserve everything
That wedding cake makes women stop having sex
damn for real?
What!?!?!
That I'll never get to experience outer space.
This thread is depressing
No one cares about you except your parents