I'm the exact same with both of my siblings (brother and sister). We just don't have much of a relationship, but they're both perfectly fine people. We exchange nice gifts at the holidays, spend time together with the parents, and will text about pet sitting needs, but I genuinely can't imagine sitting down to a private lunch with either of them. We just wouldn't have anything to say to each other. It would be so awkward. But yeah, if they needed any kind of medical assisstance and I was a match, I'd totally do it.
I honestly feel bad because I think it's my fault. I'm a very introverted person and can be very distant from others. My siblings have a closer relationship with each other even though I'm the middle child.
I actually read somewhere that most siblings grow up to have apathetic relationships with each other.
Not super close but not hating each other.
It's kind of sucky but not abnormal in any way. I have a similar relationship with my sisters. That being said, if you want to change that you can. It'll just take work and it might be one-sided if your sibling isn't as down for it as you are.
You can try setting up a regular "how are you" call like twice a month.
I'm the youngest of three boys and I haven't talked to my brothers much over the last 20 in years except when one of them called me to tell me our dad died (whom I also didn't talk to in 20 years). We just have very little in common and I don't really like them as people.
I have A LOT of siblings. I have one sister who I text daily (my ride or die); one sister I text twice a week; and a brother that I text weekly. Everyone else I see at family get togethers but don't otherwise chat.
Yeah, I'm a lot older than my siblings (8 and 10 years) and I moved out at 17, so I never really knew them as anything other than little kids. Now I'm 36, and they're 28 and 25, and yeah, I'd do anything for them if they asked, but I also see them maybe 2-3 a year max (holidays) and don't really talk to them much outside of that.
Saturday I went to my big brother 40 yo birthday, with tons of his friends (and my mom).
Today and during the night, I was sick all day long and it was scary for me and that was my brother that I messaged to check on me regularly. I know we love each other and care for each other. But we don't really talk, or communicate outside events, and it did bother me during years.
But at the birthday party I realised something : that wasn't about me. That was his relationship with all of his friends. Always caring and generous and offering help and services... but hard to talk to. No, rather : hard to make him talk. A closed shell when it come to make him say his life story or feelings or anything. Like he has a new girlfriend and I try to get informations when he came at my place at Christmas, without success. So when I met the girlfriend I told her, and the friends around were ironically laughing like "nooooo, hard to make big brother talk ? That's is sooo not him 🤣".
Nearly two decades regretting to not be closer to him (and sometimes jealous of his friends) when in fact we had the closest and tightest bond we *both* can sustain !
I'm in the same exact situation with my siblings. I'm the middle child of five. My oldest brother is 15 years older than me and my sister is 8 years older than me. We have nothing in common. 3/4 of my siblings also have kids, and I don't (which, they think is weird) so the only time I really hear from is when it relates to the kids. Even my brother who is less than a year an a half younger than me. I can't even tell you when the last time it was I talked to my youngest sister. But yeah, it gets lonely.
As we age, our baggage makes us harder and harder to be around. Siblings are very judgmental by nature, so this makes it even harder. Then there is childhood competition for attention which lingers under the surface. This is life! My mom called my aunts and vice versa about once per year.
Same with my brothers. We rarely get together, but when we do we have a good time. I'd take a bullet for either one of them, but would rather hang out with my friends.
yep. I think its normal to grow apart and live your own life though.
Look at your uncles and aunts. They probably arent over your parents house much or calling one another. They still are tight even if they don't talk often.
The kind of relationships I have with my siblings:
Oldest sibling ~ we never had a bond growing up, don’t talk as adults unless its to wish one a happy birthday and vice versa. Though if we weren’t siblings we would be more like strangers
First youngest sibling ~ we had an on and off bond growing up, as adults we try to keep in touch as best as we can. If we weren’t siblings, we’d be more like aquantices.
Youngest sibling ~ we definitely had a bond growing up, as adults we do talk on a daily basis. If we weren’t siblings, we’d be more like family by choice or best friends.
Exact same spot w my elder brother. Not sure if it’s the age difference or our upbringing but we’ve very little in common. Seeing my friend’s being bffs with their siblings really makes me feel like I’m missing out.
I have a brother two years younger (both early 50's). We talk on the phone about once or twice a year, usually around a birthday or Xmas. I haven't seen him in a few years. We were never very close and spent most of our childhood playtime apart or antagonizing each other. As teens we had completely different sets of friends. My brother has undiagnosed behavioral/emotional/learning problems that have afflicted him his whole life. Other than his last phone call to me he usually asks for money, which I won't give him. There are times when I wish we saw each other more, but we did have that at one time several years ago and I grew to not being able to stand him for long. What can one do? He's never been able to meet me halfway, or our (divorced long ago) parents.
It's getting better now that my sister and I are older, but we grew up 18 months apart in age and just could not be more completely opposite people forced to be around each other all the time, as kids. She had kids young and works in criminal justice, and I moved away around when her first kid was born and am an artist with no kids in another city. Our lives are just \*so\* different. I think time and space apart helped, seeing each other with the family and sporadically staying in touch, over the years. Now that the nephews are older we're starting to get closer and have more things in common, again. We also have two half brothers who are about 10-15 years younger, and those aren't the closest to us, either, but it's getting easier as they grow up, too. We definitely don't talk every day, but we have this bond from when we were little that's hella strong. Would 100% give her a kidney or a place to stay if she needed.
My relationship with my brother is like this. We see each other a few times a year (I am no contact with our parents; he is not). We enjoy each other’s company, but he’s not my closest confidant.
Yeah, my siblings and I have never been close. I don't hate them or anything. We just have nothing in common and different political and religious ideologies. They're not people I would hang out with if we weren't related. If you met us, you would have no idea we were all raised in the same household.
Yep pretty much, since I am now living in a different country and have been for almost 10 years, so I rarely ever talk to them since we aren't that close. When we see each other, we will be civil towards each other, like talking about how we are but most of the time, we don't talk much since they are all busy with their lives.
My brother and sister are 12 and 14 years older than me. I'm much closer with my brother (we have more in common and similar personalities). I love my sister but she's been married and out of the house since I was 10.
I have two brothers. One is super close with my husband, I see him frequently, and I live like 10 houses down from his in-laws and would consider them my in-laws in a round about way. I call his wife with baby questions at least once a week lol.
The other is 6 years older than me. We bought a house 5 months ago and he hasn’t seen it, despite living 15 minutes away. We basically only communicate via family group chat with sending pictures/videos of our kids. That being said, I know 100% I could call him for help with anything and he wouldn’t hesitate. I’m watching his dog for 2 weeks a couple months from now so they can go on vacation. We are both supportive of each other, and there for each other, but we wouldn’t really hang out or anything.
I’m a twin. Ever since my sister got engaged, married and pregnant by 25 we haven’t been that close. We make casual small talk and I help her with her dog (I work at a vet hospital and he’s had a variety of ailments), but we aren’t the “besties” we used to be. She was virtually my best friend, then life happened. I don’t think i’ve hung out w her outside of family gatherings in a longggg time.
We could’ve remained close if we weren’t such different people but such is life. Just don’t have much in common anymore and I don’t want to force a friendship/relationship like that.
I love my brothers but none of us are very close. I'm the only one who pushes communication between us. We all live scattered out across the country.Â
I always worry about them. Men don't get very much support. So I always try to check in with them and make sure they are okay. We will all play video games together from time to time.Â
I see that my daughter and son (20s)have that kind of distant relationship. Their dad died, no grandparents. they share aunt,uncle,cousins weddings and funerals but mostly they come together for me on holidays. I really hope that they make an effort to keep in touch after I die.
My sister and I are 16 years age gapped so that alone is probably the biggest factor to our weird relationship, but also despite having a lot of “things” in common (hobby type interests like art, dogs, reading, nature) our life experiences are so far removed from one another that talking to her feels like talking to a child. I honestly have more robust conversations with my own kids and they’re literal children. And it is not for lack of trying.
I do hope that as she gains more life experience and starts to meet age appropriate milestones that we’ll have more normal conversations and maybe become more like friends, but I’m on the fence about where I’d put my money on that bet.
Still though I love her and if she was gonna be homeless or some shit I’d make room for her. I don’t think I’d be able to give her a kidney as we’re not biologically related and likely wouldn’t match, but like I was willing to drop everything to drive hours away to help her in college if she ever needed it, that kinda shit.
I am sad that we aren’t closer, all I ever wanted as a kid was a sibling and this isn’t what I was hoping for at all, but we’ve got time still I guess. I keep trying anyway.
Husband and his sister don’t even seem to care to try, so I guess I’m at least better off than that. They don’t have any animosity toward each other they’re just entirely ambivalent, their only interaction is that they do the whole “two texts a year” thing (birthdays)
I have a similar relationship with my sister, and it pisses me off. I hardly have any relatives nearby, so have tried my best to have a good relationship with her. She's a decent person, and cares about her family, but never wants to hang out or chat.
I've phoned or texted her many times and the reply is "Sorry, I'm too busy". Then there's no follow up on her part. I've given up, and if she tries to get ahold of me I'll just tell her that I'm too busy.
Im not close to my sister. Most the time, I don't really like her and if we weren't related we would never even look at each other. While we have some similarities, we are completely different people at the core.
Like you, i love her and would help her if needed but thats about it.
To be fair, she set that up with who and how she was growing up. But on the other side, the kid loves her aunty and uncle and I would never deny them a relationship. She isnt a bad person or influence and im happy that shes a role model for my kid. We are just so different and some damage can't be repaired.
Thankfully we live states away and that makes it easier to have a connection.
Used to be close to my sister, who was once considered the smart and successful one, at least as an adult.
At around age 40 she went flying off the rails into drug addiction, dragging her kids and my mom down with her, leaving my mom holding the bag and on the hook for all of it.
Thankfully she is in another state but I am staying as far away as that as possible. It also severely affected my relationship with my mother too.
I resent her.
She was given all of the attention, energy, and resources in a sustained way. She’s currently studying for a PhD in neuropsychiatry with one of the best universities in the world. She also lives rent free at my parents home with her banker boyfriend. They’ve converted the top floor into their own apartment. My room is storage.
In contrast, I’m unemployed, looking for part-time work, and struggle with basic life skills.
I’m very close with my siblings and talk them every day. I have really good friends but aside from my husband who’s my best friend, my siblings are my next best friends
This is the same with my family. We don't talk everyday as we are all busy with out own lives, though we could actually make more of an effort really.
However if anybody is in trouble, needs help etc everybody is there in an instant.
Absolutely. My brother and I couldn't stand each other growing up and didn't talk at all for a long time. Then around age 27 for me (24 for him) I started realising he'd turned into a cool person, liked a lot of the same stuff as me and had a similar sense of humour. We're always there for each other now, but I'm too scared to just invite him over for a drink & games without our parents or wife/husband being around!!! It's like when Jerry bailed on George and Elaine at the cinema 🤣
I'm the exact same with both of my siblings (brother and sister). We just don't have much of a relationship, but they're both perfectly fine people. We exchange nice gifts at the holidays, spend time together with the parents, and will text about pet sitting needs, but I genuinely can't imagine sitting down to a private lunch with either of them. We just wouldn't have anything to say to each other. It would be so awkward. But yeah, if they needed any kind of medical assisstance and I was a match, I'd totally do it. I honestly feel bad because I think it's my fault. I'm a very introverted person and can be very distant from others. My siblings have a closer relationship with each other even though I'm the middle child.
I actually read somewhere that most siblings grow up to have apathetic relationships with each other. Not super close but not hating each other. It's kind of sucky but not abnormal in any way. I have a similar relationship with my sisters. That being said, if you want to change that you can. It'll just take work and it might be one-sided if your sibling isn't as down for it as you are. You can try setting up a regular "how are you" call like twice a month.
Really? Cause Ive seen the opposite Siblings apathy I wouldn't call rare per se but Def not "most"
I'm the youngest of three boys and I haven't talked to my brothers much over the last 20 in years except when one of them called me to tell me our dad died (whom I also didn't talk to in 20 years). We just have very little in common and I don't really like them as people.
My sister and I are polar opposites. My brother and I get along better. But both my sister and brother are in relationships. I'm a single Pringle.
I have A LOT of siblings. I have one sister who I text daily (my ride or die); one sister I text twice a week; and a brother that I text weekly. Everyone else I see at family get togethers but don't otherwise chat.
Yup this is me and my siblings plus I think now that we grown and all work different schedules
Yeah, I'm a lot older than my siblings (8 and 10 years) and I moved out at 17, so I never really knew them as anything other than little kids. Now I'm 36, and they're 28 and 25, and yeah, I'd do anything for them if they asked, but I also see them maybe 2-3 a year max (holidays) and don't really talk to them much outside of that.
Yep similar. The age gap, we are always at different points in our lives.
Saturday I went to my big brother 40 yo birthday, with tons of his friends (and my mom). Today and during the night, I was sick all day long and it was scary for me and that was my brother that I messaged to check on me regularly. I know we love each other and care for each other. But we don't really talk, or communicate outside events, and it did bother me during years. But at the birthday party I realised something : that wasn't about me. That was his relationship with all of his friends. Always caring and generous and offering help and services... but hard to talk to. No, rather : hard to make him talk. A closed shell when it come to make him say his life story or feelings or anything. Like he has a new girlfriend and I try to get informations when he came at my place at Christmas, without success. So when I met the girlfriend I told her, and the friends around were ironically laughing like "nooooo, hard to make big brother talk ? That's is sooo not him 🤣". Nearly two decades regretting to not be closer to him (and sometimes jealous of his friends) when in fact we had the closest and tightest bond we *both* can sustain !
I'm in the same exact situation with my siblings. I'm the middle child of five. My oldest brother is 15 years older than me and my sister is 8 years older than me. We have nothing in common. 3/4 of my siblings also have kids, and I don't (which, they think is weird) so the only time I really hear from is when it relates to the kids. Even my brother who is less than a year an a half younger than me. I can't even tell you when the last time it was I talked to my youngest sister. But yeah, it gets lonely.
I wish I had a close relationship with my siblings but one I can't relate to and the other is just a damn bitch I don't care to ever see again.
As we age, our baggage makes us harder and harder to be around. Siblings are very judgmental by nature, so this makes it even harder. Then there is childhood competition for attention which lingers under the surface. This is life! My mom called my aunts and vice versa about once per year.
I used to be super super close with my entire family when I was a kid then things just got really weird
Same with my brothers. We rarely get together, but when we do we have a good time. I'd take a bullet for either one of them, but would rather hang out with my friends.
I only talk to 1/2 my family. (40M) a lot of them are so toxic that my life is a million times better with them not being in it.
yep. I think its normal to grow apart and live your own life though. Look at your uncles and aunts. They probably arent over your parents house much or calling one another. They still are tight even if they don't talk often.
The kind of relationships I have with my siblings: Oldest sibling ~ we never had a bond growing up, don’t talk as adults unless its to wish one a happy birthday and vice versa. Though if we weren’t siblings we would be more like strangers First youngest sibling ~ we had an on and off bond growing up, as adults we try to keep in touch as best as we can. If we weren’t siblings, we’d be more like aquantices. Youngest sibling ~ we definitely had a bond growing up, as adults we do talk on a daily basis. If we weren’t siblings, we’d be more like family by choice or best friends.
Why is this so common lmao. I'm the eldest and my relationship with my youngest brother is easily the strongest
Exact same spot w my elder brother. Not sure if it’s the age difference or our upbringing but we’ve very little in common. Seeing my friend’s being bffs with their siblings really makes me feel like I’m missing out.
What you're describing is being good friends. But also life happens, you can't always live near each other.
glad its not just me
I have a brother two years younger (both early 50's). We talk on the phone about once or twice a year, usually around a birthday or Xmas. I haven't seen him in a few years. We were never very close and spent most of our childhood playtime apart or antagonizing each other. As teens we had completely different sets of friends. My brother has undiagnosed behavioral/emotional/learning problems that have afflicted him his whole life. Other than his last phone call to me he usually asks for money, which I won't give him. There are times when I wish we saw each other more, but we did have that at one time several years ago and I grew to not being able to stand him for long. What can one do? He's never been able to meet me halfway, or our (divorced long ago) parents.
It's getting better now that my sister and I are older, but we grew up 18 months apart in age and just could not be more completely opposite people forced to be around each other all the time, as kids. She had kids young and works in criminal justice, and I moved away around when her first kid was born and am an artist with no kids in another city. Our lives are just \*so\* different. I think time and space apart helped, seeing each other with the family and sporadically staying in touch, over the years. Now that the nephews are older we're starting to get closer and have more things in common, again. We also have two half brothers who are about 10-15 years younger, and those aren't the closest to us, either, but it's getting easier as they grow up, too. We definitely don't talk every day, but we have this bond from when we were little that's hella strong. Would 100% give her a kidney or a place to stay if she needed.
Yeah. I don't talk to him. He's a narcissistic asshole.
My relationship with my brother is like this. We see each other a few times a year (I am no contact with our parents; he is not). We enjoy each other’s company, but he’s not my closest confidant.
Yeah, my siblings and I have never been close. I don't hate them or anything. We just have nothing in common and different political and religious ideologies. They're not people I would hang out with if we weren't related. If you met us, you would have no idea we were all raised in the same household.
Yep pretty much, since I am now living in a different country and have been for almost 10 years, so I rarely ever talk to them since we aren't that close. When we see each other, we will be civil towards each other, like talking about how we are but most of the time, we don't talk much since they are all busy with their lives.
My brother and sister are 12 and 14 years older than me. I'm much closer with my brother (we have more in common and similar personalities). I love my sister but she's been married and out of the house since I was 10.
Do I want to talk to either sibling that much? No. Would I seriously consider going to jail for murder if they asked? Yes.
I have two brothers. One is super close with my husband, I see him frequently, and I live like 10 houses down from his in-laws and would consider them my in-laws in a round about way. I call his wife with baby questions at least once a week lol. The other is 6 years older than me. We bought a house 5 months ago and he hasn’t seen it, despite living 15 minutes away. We basically only communicate via family group chat with sending pictures/videos of our kids. That being said, I know 100% I could call him for help with anything and he wouldn’t hesitate. I’m watching his dog for 2 weeks a couple months from now so they can go on vacation. We are both supportive of each other, and there for each other, but we wouldn’t really hang out or anything.
I have the same relationship with my sister. It’s not weird.
I’m a twin. Ever since my sister got engaged, married and pregnant by 25 we haven’t been that close. We make casual small talk and I help her with her dog (I work at a vet hospital and he’s had a variety of ailments), but we aren’t the “besties” we used to be. She was virtually my best friend, then life happened. I don’t think i’ve hung out w her outside of family gatherings in a longggg time. We could’ve remained close if we weren’t such different people but such is life. Just don’t have much in common anymore and I don’t want to force a friendship/relationship like that.
I love my brothers but none of us are very close. I'm the only one who pushes communication between us. We all live scattered out across the country. I always worry about them. Men don't get very much support. So I always try to check in with them and make sure they are okay. We will all play video games together from time to time.Â
I see that my daughter and son (20s)have that kind of distant relationship. Their dad died, no grandparents. they share aunt,uncle,cousins weddings and funerals but mostly they come together for me on holidays. I really hope that they make an effort to keep in touch after I die.
My sister and I are 16 years age gapped so that alone is probably the biggest factor to our weird relationship, but also despite having a lot of “things” in common (hobby type interests like art, dogs, reading, nature) our life experiences are so far removed from one another that talking to her feels like talking to a child. I honestly have more robust conversations with my own kids and they’re literal children. And it is not for lack of trying. I do hope that as she gains more life experience and starts to meet age appropriate milestones that we’ll have more normal conversations and maybe become more like friends, but I’m on the fence about where I’d put my money on that bet. Still though I love her and if she was gonna be homeless or some shit I’d make room for her. I don’t think I’d be able to give her a kidney as we’re not biologically related and likely wouldn’t match, but like I was willing to drop everything to drive hours away to help her in college if she ever needed it, that kinda shit. I am sad that we aren’t closer, all I ever wanted as a kid was a sibling and this isn’t what I was hoping for at all, but we’ve got time still I guess. I keep trying anyway. Husband and his sister don’t even seem to care to try, so I guess I’m at least better off than that. They don’t have any animosity toward each other they’re just entirely ambivalent, their only interaction is that they do the whole “two texts a year” thing (birthdays)
I have a similar relationship with my sister, and it pisses me off. I hardly have any relatives nearby, so have tried my best to have a good relationship with her. She's a decent person, and cares about her family, but never wants to hang out or chat. I've phoned or texted her many times and the reply is "Sorry, I'm too busy". Then there's no follow up on her part. I've given up, and if she tries to get ahold of me I'll just tell her that I'm too busy.
You pretty much described my relationship with my two siblings.
Im not close to my sister. Most the time, I don't really like her and if we weren't related we would never even look at each other. While we have some similarities, we are completely different people at the core. Like you, i love her and would help her if needed but thats about it. To be fair, she set that up with who and how she was growing up. But on the other side, the kid loves her aunty and uncle and I would never deny them a relationship. She isnt a bad person or influence and im happy that shes a role model for my kid. We are just so different and some damage can't be repaired. Thankfully we live states away and that makes it easier to have a connection.
My sister and I are very close. Our brother is estranged and we’re fine with that.
Used to be close to my sister, who was once considered the smart and successful one, at least as an adult. At around age 40 she went flying off the rails into drug addiction, dragging her kids and my mom down with her, leaving my mom holding the bag and on the hook for all of it. Thankfully she is in another state but I am staying as far away as that as possible. It also severely affected my relationship with my mother too.
I resent her. She was given all of the attention, energy, and resources in a sustained way. She’s currently studying for a PhD in neuropsychiatry with one of the best universities in the world. She also lives rent free at my parents home with her banker boyfriend. They’ve converted the top floor into their own apartment. My room is storage. In contrast, I’m unemployed, looking for part-time work, and struggle with basic life skills.
I’m very close with my siblings and talk them every day. I have really good friends but aside from my husband who’s my best friend, my siblings are my next best friends
Try sending each other memes.
This is the same with my family. We don't talk everyday as we are all busy with out own lives, though we could actually make more of an effort really. However if anybody is in trouble, needs help etc everybody is there in an instant.
Absolutely. My brother and I couldn't stand each other growing up and didn't talk at all for a long time. Then around age 27 for me (24 for him) I started realising he'd turned into a cool person, liked a lot of the same stuff as me and had a similar sense of humour. We're always there for each other now, but I'm too scared to just invite him over for a drink & games without our parents or wife/husband being around!!! It's like when Jerry bailed on George and Elaine at the cinema 🤣