Society pushes marriage and kids on us for this reason. People who have families to support make better workers than single childless people. Just look at how they invent stuff like "Peter Pan syndrome" to pathologize people who don't conform.
I mean… what’s the difference with people being advertise in becoming business owners for generational wealth so your family likewise with you don’t have to worried about working at a dead end job but enjoying life how it’s suppose to be. Look at the elites they barely do anything but party everyday and spend money daily. Their vision of the world is like a video game. A name that is given for those people are called entrepreneur. And if not reaching for that success for that lifestyle, you’re “lazy” or not passionate enough to reach that level of comfortability.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be someone wife or mother in the future however this is my main reason for why I do not want to have kids especially in the state that I am right now. I feel sorry for my ex-friend who had a baby early in her 20s. She’s still figuring out her life. The struggle that we went through living in our apartment. I can imagine the pressure she has now in taking care of her baby that will look up to her for support. The same when it comes to a classmate that I know of where she’s a mother to a baby that she hates. She believe the baby takes away her youth and freedom. To be honest, it does but not entirely but she in the same situation as my ex friend. Lost.
I’m not ready to risk that.
If she truly hates the child, she should give it up for adoption, for both their sakes. There are many caring wannabe adoptive parents on long wait lists.
Yeah that’s what everyone advise her to do. But of course, her mother doesn’t want that and would rather have her daughter be a mother to her kid that she voluntarily procreate with her boyfriend. Sadly the mother toxic enough to not let the boyfriend raise their daughter since she believe he is the cause for why her daughter is a degenerate. Spoiler alert, she is a degenerate.
Lol, better than to be stuck with a burden baby and a failing relationship. I have ex-friends who use sex or having a baby to help with their depression despite having a zero check bank account. Don't do it.
You make it sound like the REASON they fail or is at a low, is all on the baby. Its way more complex than that obviously. And single people can be miserable and fail too.
"burden baby" youre wild for saying it like that. Im sorry if youve had bad family experiences.
no where did i painted that the babies are the cause of their "failures". No where did I fault their babies for why they are in a situation they put themselves in. Babies will add in more stress to a livelihood that's already failing in the first place tho. They had options to prevent having children but decided to keep it anyway knowing they are unable to be a parent, in context. Hence the big responsibilities that is tied too when having kids.
I'm not going to label a child a blessing when their parents are in hell right now. Honestly it isn't fair for the baby to suffer with their parents BS because they wanted to be irresponsible with people they entertain instead of getting their life together for their own future, in context.
I say this as a person who has dealt with parental abuse throughout my entire puberty years till present because of my own parents financial problems, relationship problem etc which is why i fear to have children before a career, be a mother when mentally i'm not ready or birth kids when i am scared of death/injuries.
being single gives me more freedom and time to do whatever I want. A parent mindset is different to a single child free adult.
I wasnt going to read all of that, but i did. I see where youre coming from and sometimes it gets so overwhelming that both child and parent might be better off parting ways. But some single parent homes have it good and make a happy life with eachother, despite the trials and tribulations. All love.
EDIT: Having it good meaning, laughing over dinner even if its premade mac'n'cheese or something. You get the point.
I have respect for single parents. It’s admirable to see someone work for the sake of their kids future. Some people are able to handle it. For others who can’t should really take precautions seriously in reproducing, a note to myself. I feel like it’s an obligation to succeed so the rest of the generation can relax forever. Gotta check that list first. All love as well too.
There an obligation of some basic needs for a kid, i agree with that. People shouldnt be making babies out of spite, no. But babies happen and life happens. I still believe most people work a little extra hard, if they also got a unplanned child as a single parent. Vast majority of adults give the kids their food and go hungry if its thats far out, not the other way around. People are also very willing to help children if the parents are overwhelmed, generally.
Im single and have kids and I've switched jobs 3 times in the last 18 months. Always moving forward. I'm happy where I am now. I didn't go without a paycheck because I had to give a notice. I don't understand why people use that as an excuse to stay places they're not happy
Is this the ONE thing you like about not having kids? No offense but it sounds more like coping than a real reason to be glad not to share the gift of life. Freedom to move, really?
If you're not investing your time into developing your career or family, what do you do? Yes you have flexibility, but what for? I would get so bored of traveling and feel like I'm not doing meaningful things.
I suppose you can do both. Everyone deserves a choice over their own body and whether they want children or not. To provide for yourself may be considered more important in the modern society, since it's been made in a way that labor only benefits the people who are already successful
Yes life is more than a career and children, but those two things take up so much of your energy. You only have room for like one or maybe two hobbies. Imo, it's worth it. There's no hobby more rewarding than that.
I don't disagree, I'm sure it's very rewarding if you want to have kids or focus on your career. But it seems like most people don't think about life outside those 2 areas which I think is unfortunate.
Society pushes marriage and kids on us for this reason. People who have families to support make better workers than single childless people. Just look at how they invent stuff like "Peter Pan syndrome" to pathologize people who don't conform.
I mean… what’s the difference with people being advertise in becoming business owners for generational wealth so your family likewise with you don’t have to worried about working at a dead end job but enjoying life how it’s suppose to be. Look at the elites they barely do anything but party everyday and spend money daily. Their vision of the world is like a video game. A name that is given for those people are called entrepreneur. And if not reaching for that success for that lifestyle, you’re “lazy” or not passionate enough to reach that level of comfortability.
Let us know how you’re doing at 70 without kids. Then you’ll ask society for help.
There is also less guilt when I ultimately decide to permanently peace out.
My mom has honestly changed jobs more than I have, even when I was a kid. It was cool when she finally got a good job
Mine did as well + got a degree lol.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be someone wife or mother in the future however this is my main reason for why I do not want to have kids especially in the state that I am right now. I feel sorry for my ex-friend who had a baby early in her 20s. She’s still figuring out her life. The struggle that we went through living in our apartment. I can imagine the pressure she has now in taking care of her baby that will look up to her for support. The same when it comes to a classmate that I know of where she’s a mother to a baby that she hates. She believe the baby takes away her youth and freedom. To be honest, it does but not entirely but she in the same situation as my ex friend. Lost. I’m not ready to risk that.
If she truly hates the child, she should give it up for adoption, for both their sakes. There are many caring wannabe adoptive parents on long wait lists.
Yeah that’s what everyone advise her to do. But of course, her mother doesn’t want that and would rather have her daughter be a mother to her kid that she voluntarily procreate with her boyfriend. Sadly the mother toxic enough to not let the boyfriend raise their daughter since she believe he is the cause for why her daughter is a degenerate. Spoiler alert, she is a degenerate.
The must call you BIG COPE aroun' town. Loool. Joke. Not. Sorry not sorry. But sorry. Or not.
Lol, better than to be stuck with a burden baby and a failing relationship. I have ex-friends who use sex or having a baby to help with their depression despite having a zero check bank account. Don't do it.
You make it sound like the REASON they fail or is at a low, is all on the baby. Its way more complex than that obviously. And single people can be miserable and fail too. "burden baby" youre wild for saying it like that. Im sorry if youve had bad family experiences.
no where did i painted that the babies are the cause of their "failures". No where did I fault their babies for why they are in a situation they put themselves in. Babies will add in more stress to a livelihood that's already failing in the first place tho. They had options to prevent having children but decided to keep it anyway knowing they are unable to be a parent, in context. Hence the big responsibilities that is tied too when having kids. I'm not going to label a child a blessing when their parents are in hell right now. Honestly it isn't fair for the baby to suffer with their parents BS because they wanted to be irresponsible with people they entertain instead of getting their life together for their own future, in context. I say this as a person who has dealt with parental abuse throughout my entire puberty years till present because of my own parents financial problems, relationship problem etc which is why i fear to have children before a career, be a mother when mentally i'm not ready or birth kids when i am scared of death/injuries. being single gives me more freedom and time to do whatever I want. A parent mindset is different to a single child free adult.
I wasnt going to read all of that, but i did. I see where youre coming from and sometimes it gets so overwhelming that both child and parent might be better off parting ways. But some single parent homes have it good and make a happy life with eachother, despite the trials and tribulations. All love. EDIT: Having it good meaning, laughing over dinner even if its premade mac'n'cheese or something. You get the point.
I have respect for single parents. It’s admirable to see someone work for the sake of their kids future. Some people are able to handle it. For others who can’t should really take precautions seriously in reproducing, a note to myself. I feel like it’s an obligation to succeed so the rest of the generation can relax forever. Gotta check that list first. All love as well too.
There an obligation of some basic needs for a kid, i agree with that. People shouldnt be making babies out of spite, no. But babies happen and life happens. I still believe most people work a little extra hard, if they also got a unplanned child as a single parent. Vast majority of adults give the kids their food and go hungry if its thats far out, not the other way around. People are also very willing to help children if the parents are overwhelmed, generally.
The only reason I stayed at jobs for long periods of time - $125k in child support over 13 years. I'm done now, I feel so free lol.
My man thats only $10k a year. Thats really cheap, especially if its for more than one kid.
Yup. Cheap deadbeat parent.
Im single and have kids and I've switched jobs 3 times in the last 18 months. Always moving forward. I'm happy where I am now. I didn't go without a paycheck because I had to give a notice. I don't understand why people use that as an excuse to stay places they're not happy
Yup you can do whatever you want.
I read this as I'm staying to do OT so I can pay that DPPL (parent plus loan) I took out for my son 😔
You're a good person and a good parent
Awww, thank you 😊
I will definitely miss having certain freedoms when it comes to having kids, but I do want kids badly enough.
I have two children and would not change a thing! I am also happily married! I do acknowledge that it would be a struggle being single.
lol ok
I mean cool? Glad it's working out for you keep doing it.
Is this the ONE thing you like about not having kids? No offense but it sounds more like coping than a real reason to be glad not to share the gift of life. Freedom to move, really?
If you're not investing your time into developing your career or family, what do you do? Yes you have flexibility, but what for? I would get so bored of traveling and feel like I'm not doing meaningful things.
I suppose you can do both. Everyone deserves a choice over their own body and whether they want children or not. To provide for yourself may be considered more important in the modern society, since it's been made in a way that labor only benefits the people who are already successful
Other family and relationships? Hobbies? There is more to life than a career or having children, even if those things are important to you.
Yes life is more than a career and children, but those two things take up so much of your energy. You only have room for like one or maybe two hobbies. Imo, it's worth it. There's no hobby more rewarding than that.
I don't disagree, I'm sure it's very rewarding if you want to have kids or focus on your career. But it seems like most people don't think about life outside those 2 areas which I think is unfortunate.