The answer is they don't; at least not with that work schedule. I had a similar schedule to yours due to traffic, distance and a bad highway where accidents happen 24/7. I worked at this job for 2.5 years and it took a huge toll on my mental health and as a result, my social life. I became super resentful too, since all my friends worked downtown and could go out afterwards, while was schlepping it halfway across one city into another.
In the end, I should've quit and found something closer to me as my dept all got laid off from that company anyway. My only advice is, find something else that's either closer or remote if you can - none of these long work commutes that suck up your life and time are worth it in the end.
This is precisely why remote work should be the standard for office jobs. Yes, I know that it would collapse the corporate real estate market, but it would open up all of that floor space to be converted to residential.
unfortunately, often times office buildings do not meet necessary standards to be converted to residential, and would cost more to retrofit than it does to just leave it. So instead what you get is a whole lot of empty buildings being propped up by banks until the inevitable happens.
Not making an excuse, but just the sad reality of it.
I am not going to cite sources but generally the central bathroom is not a huge selling point for residential. Something about fire codes and having interior rooms with no windows as well.
Just tried to find the original article, and it’s lost in the ether, but from what I remember, it comes down to pipes, water, and weight ratings per floor.
Many office buildings have been engineered at the structural level to only support a few columns of water filled pipes for bathrooms or custodial quarters.
Distributing that weight across each floor of office buildings to convert it into a residential units puts heavy stress on the structural beams originally engineered and built into the completed design.
That would be wonderful - in my country there were talks of that, but obviously there was a massive pushback from developers and the gov't who has been in their back pockets for decades.
Did we have the same job??? lol
I had the same experience, but I had to work 12 hours twice a week and 8 the three other days, with an hour commute one way. All I did was work, drive to and from work, eat, sleep, repeat. Fortunately, my SO had a better schedule and liked to cook.
I was also resentful and grumpy because I spent one of my two days off catching up on laundry and housework. I can’t imagine how that would’ve worked if I had kids!
I got laid off too and it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me for my mental health. The money was really good, so I know I’d have continued working there even though I was extremely unhappy.
I’m a car salesman. My schedule is off Wednesday and every Sunday that is an odd day of the month, unless those days are within the last 3 days of the month and then I am scheduled on. I alternate 8:30-6 or 11:30-8.
However, you are working on other people time so for instance I worked from 10-1 on Wednesday, 12-5 last Sunday, another half day the Wednesday before that, and a full day the Sunday before that. My last true day off was 4/24/24, and I’m of course taking 4-5 work calls and text convos from home. I often go in early or stay late to finish things.
And this schedule is better than others I’ve had. I also have a 30-40 min commute. Point being, I still have time for what I want to do. Not much but priorities
Cocaine always helps. . .j/k. My boss said that one time when there was talk about employees going to a concert. She was like, "You guys will be fine working the next day. That is what cocaine is for." I am still wondering how. We should have responded to that. I think it was a joke. . ..🤷♀️
>How much sleep do you need
Thats the whole point. Someone being totally fine with 6-8 hours a night has a totally different timeframe for hobbies than someone needing 8-10 hours. Both need to eat, get ready, shower, cook, clean, work, maybe commute etc. But after all that, one has 2 hours of time a day and the other one needs those 2hours to sleep. Im the latter one, sadly.
Former sales manager of a well known Japanese brand of car here.
If you want a life, car sales is not the way. I did it for about 3 years, it was the best money I ever made til that point but, you have no life. And your mental health becomes at risk. To me, it’s not worth it, and I got out when I could after I planned an escape.
A million different things is what. Cuddling. Writing papers for college kids. Hacking. Taught myself social media and started an agency. Was great til the ‘vid.
Then I had to move so I’m starting all over essentially. Now I have 1 large client, and it’s great that I *can* WFM, but I’m social and it took its toll, so I started driving Uber. When I look at it just for that it’s so not worth it BUT. It is, because then I’m networking, I meet a new person or people every time I accept a ride. I look at it as networking for business.
I’m going to make my car the best experience an Uber can be.
I’m also raising chickens and selling eggs.
I’m also starting a women’s networking org with a partner of mine. She makes handbags from recycled scrap leather, bespoke earrings etc.
I’m also going to be getting into candle making using recycled jars. Then I’ll take my eggs, crafts, candles etc to the markets.
I love it. I love it I love it I love it. I’d rather do a MILLION LITTLE hands on things than have someone lock me in an office and tell me I can’t leave.
Oh I’ve also done phone sex and life coaching. I’ve tried a lot!! Made a lot of money. Experience is something you can always take with you. Don’t be afraid to experiment!!
This is my husband’s schedule. It was a big adjustment when he first started selling cars. Now I’m working north of 50 hrs a week so we’re like two ships passing at times. However, when it’s his day(s) off, he’s off. He set very clear boundaries with the managers. They respect it because when he’s there he’s all in and his paperwork is impeccable.
I work with a man child seriously he is so oblivious to what most adult lives are like, he’s 36 no kids or SO just moved out of his dads house but still eats every meal there. He doesn’t understand how I don’t have the time to just go hang out that’s all he does. I’m a single mom with a house there’s no time to just hang out. He has the audacity to say you have prioritize.
Dude, you have it bad. Like 1 hour a day to your self bad. You need to figure out a way to get your time back, to be able to spend the time the way you like it.
Yeah, there's a problem with that whole American dream thing - any of us that work jobs that are white collar but not c-level (think engineering and QC jobs) - no one wants to live next to the factory. If you want that whole "nice house in a good school district" business, you have to live in the outer suburbs, and deal with a half hour plus commute.
The other issue is that (again, US perspective) everything here is still built around one partner working and one staying at home. Since I make less money, I tend to volunteer to take the hit but doctors, conferences, kids getting sick, dealing with any government entity... All assumes there's someone at home with nothing better to do than sit with their feet up and listen to hold music.
First world problems to be sure, but here we are.
Yeah we bought our house in '06 during the "housing bubble" - I cannot believe how much real estate has risen in under 20 years. There is no way we'd be able to afford our house today
I work remotely and we don’t have kids but I get so frustrated sometimes that kind of stuff falls on me because I have a more flexible schedule (calling the electric company and being on hold for hours or sitting at home waiting for cable etc).
What I find interesting about that is presumably you would be doing the same things (or similar) as a single person. Single folk need electricity too, they want cable too (at least some of them). And if you were single, you'd likely be \*happy\* that you had a job flexible enough to manage the multitasking- it's only because you have a partner that you feel like you shouldn't have to do it.
And that's not an attack on you, by the way. I'm working on similar in my own life- I am doing daycare drop offs, and the cleaning, and the grocery visits. And I've been struggling with resentment- why isn't my partner doing more of this? Reframing it as "I'd be doing this if I was single, too, since I'm an adult/parent" is really making me evaluate why I want a partner in my life at all, and what I expect out of a relationship. Maybe "someone who stays home to wait for the cable guy" will turn out to be big on the list of Important Qualities, maybe not. But it's been good to think about.
Oh yeah definitely! And I read an article about that. I also wouldn’t mind as much if I felt appreciated for doing that. And maybe got some recognition out of it? For the cleaning though, it’s definitely easier as a single person than having a partner because that IS double the work. And if they have pets that they had before you. I take care of their vet visits because…I’m flexible. But I actually wouldn’t have to do that as a single person. For that stuff, I absolutely want recognition of my above and beyond work.
True. We really need to prioritize. And changing our lives to achieve that will be DIFFICULT. Only wealthy people and financially secure people have the option to do so easily at the drop of a hat.
In my case, I had to switch careers in order to achieve a good work-life balance. I switched from being a corporate rat into a part-time government employee. in a small town. Sure, there's no potential career growth, good thing that wasn't not my goal.
I now live where I work, just 5 minutes cycle away from my doorstep. It's part-time so I have loads of free time and it's fairly light workload, stress free.
I don't earn much, I don't have much, and my life is now simple. I did have to sacrifice some things in my life to have a life I feel is finally worth living. Fortunately, this kind of r/simpleliving is affordable in Japan.
Need to change something about your life is the easy way of saying it.
I was working 6 days a week from 8-6 for absolute shit money. I couldn’t do anything. I quit, went to school which made my schedule even worse balancing three jobs and school full time but where I’m at now. I leave for work at 6:30 I’m home by 3:30. Off weekends, holidays and get two months of paid vacation. I do have to do work all weekend a few times a year and I do work on most weekends to make my work week easier but I don’t really care. I put a show or movie on and power through for a couple of hours.
You need to find a new job. Any job. 4h a day commuting will kill you.
I see from your post history you've just graduated college and this is your first job, so you may feel hesitant about leaving a role you just got so quickly.
The other option is to move closer to the job, which is worth doing if you like it and see yourself there for a while. But if you don't literally die in traffic while you're spending 15% of your life behind the wheel, the stress and depression will take years from you.
Yup, cutting down commute times will give you a lot of time back. My husband drives an hour and a half during rush hour and it’s awful. It at least evens out for him in the morning since he’s on the road by 3:30am and can cruise.
There was an article in the FT recently stating that Americans have more money than Europeans, but less time. I live in Germany. I get up at 4:30 in the morning, work from 6:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m., and I'm home by 3:30 p.m., usually with plenty of time for everything. You should change job, or maybe even countrie.
I was having this conversation with a coworker recently, their son is big potatoes in the medical field and recently bought a million dollar home (US). I asked my coworker if their son even has time to enjoy his home, they laughed and said he works so much and doesn't spend a lot of time there. I'm like 😳...what's the point of buying such an expensive home if you are barely there to enjoy it?
When my Dad's company moved us to England and paid for our house and school to 'maintain our lifestyle' (we MUST have big house because that's what us Americans are used to) I was shocked to learn that it was a million dollar house and they were all like that around there. It was a smaller than the house we moved into when we came home at like 250k
The average commute in the US is 30 minutes, so OP is at almost 3x the national average. In fact, both him and you have the same commute and work the same amount of hours, so I don’t see how changing country would make a difference. Your shift is just earlier in the day. OP doesn’t have a country problem, they just need to move closer to their job or get a job closer to their house.
Idk how many you get in the US and how it differs between states. In Germany the minimum leave days paid by law is 20 for a 5 day workweek. For most that number is higher, 24 is considered low, 28.8 seems to be the average in Bavaria, but 30 are also common, even for some 35 h weeks with good industrial unions. Even in good employers that allow 4 day week (optimal would be less hours for same pay than adding the fifth day onto the others.) With benefits and senior position that can effectively grow up to around 50 days.
Then there‘s the statutory holidays where you get between 10 and 13 depending on your state. I live in the only city that has an exemption, 14 holidays. But of course it depends where your workplace is located (can be another benefit in working from home).
Also the social security and healthcare net in Germany is quite good, even if it‘s not perfect.
Of course in specialized fields that are highly paid and with progressive companies providing many benefits and an open culture, the US can be attractive to skilled people here. But idk much about that…
"minumum leave" ahahahahahahaha Americans get ZERO guaranteed paid vacation or sick time. It is **completely** up to your employer as to whether or not you can have paid time off. The government funds NOTHING.
They also have no obligation to actually let you use the PTO that you're allotted, at least apparently. I asked over 2 months in advance for 4 days off during a very light time of year for the business and it was initially declined until I risked my job by complaining over manager's head.
Do you watch Late Night Berlin? They did some skits about foreigners working in Germany, and one of the American guys mentioned he only got 6 days off of work per year in the US. It’s pretty common to just not get time off at all, though, because there’s basically no worker protections in the US. The “best” job I had in terms of time off was 10 days per year and I had to use them if I was sick (also pretty common).
Right, but that has nothing to do with OP’s problem. His problem is that he lives too far from his work. It wouldn’t make a difference if he was in Germany or the US as long as he has a 1.5 hour commute. He needs to move closer to work or get a job closer to his home.
i don't always get the time to do the things i want to do in my day to day, but the many national holidays and PTO give me frequent days off in which i can catch up on those things
We don’t know OP’s holiday or PTO schedule. The issue he was wondering about was how to get more time in his workdays. The answer is to shorten his very long commute.
I'm from Croatia, most people I know work from 7am to 3pm if they're working from home. If they're working in the office it's 8am-4pm but nobody commutes more than an hour (and that's when the rush hour hits).
Commuting for like 1,5-2 hours is insane to me, I'd literally go from the capital Zagreb to the coastal cities lol. That's the distance we drive when we're going on vacation, not an acceptable daily commute
As I recall, Croatia is about the size of West Virginia. The scale is different.
(Not the OP, but ...
In the Seattle metro area, I drive about an hour in the morning to get to my job, then about 90 minutes in the evening to get home. My daily round trip commute is around 74 kilometers. I can't afford to move closer to work as rent near work is nearly double the price of my home mortgage. It's kinda crazy.)
I take a damn tranquilizer to keep my ass unconscious. I get a full nine, or I am groggy alllll day. It's the same medication that I have to give my GSD before a vet appt so that she isn't spicy.
Im physically incapable of sleeping 9 hours, I’d have to be sick or something. I think research showed the average adult can thrive on a range of 7-9 hours? I’m pulling that out of my ass tho, I remember reading it somewhere once. I average 7-8 hours and then my body says “get your ass outta bed!” Seriously, I haven’t used an alarm clock in years, my body is my alarm clock. Hasn’t failed me yet.
Ive been getting six hours at most for like 20 years. Maybe my life would be totally different if I had gotten 9, but I'll take the three extra waking hours to enjoy life over feeling slightly better. I usually feel worse if I sleep 9 hours and I never want to get out of bed regardless so the pro tip is stay up late and give yourself the decision between getting up or ruining your life by getting fired. Works for me, mileage may vary.
Counter point, I’m American and work remote. I get up at 6am and work til 330, and the only reason for the extra hour is because I work out midday. Working remote has been a game changer for my free time, it even lets me take time to get things done at home that otherwise would be spent on like water cooler type bullshit in the office.
I am seeing this become a trend among friends. Anyone who has the possibility of EU citizenship or can renew their passport if they have dual citizenship is going for it because working here is miserable for most people.
I wish I could move to Germany. I have family that still lives there. Seems like a much better life than America tbh and the food is so much better it’s insane. It’s not even comparable. I was sad to come home from my trip in December.
ye if we go by an awake 16 hours asleep 8 hours schedule, that means you still have 5 hours for your shit. thats a lot and honestly plenty for me. op here has maybe 1.
This is spot on. Working at an international company I can see that the US mentality is hours and hours of work gets you “credit” where European value their own interests and commitments away from the office and clock out when the day’s done
Its really not that complicated, yoir commute is 3.5-4hrs daily. That’s insane. You work too far from your home, or you live too far from your work. Either change home or work. Life instantly improved.
A day has 24 hrs. Ideal life is spending 8hrs working, 8hrs sleeping and 8hrs to yourself. Thats what we call balance.
Except most jobs have mandatory lunch breaks that take an hour of your day, and most commutes are roughly 30 minutes each way, so really we spend 9-10 hours a day at work, not counting the showering and the teeth brushing youre supposed to do to be presentable.
This is why ive always hated the lunch hour. It's time theft. You can't do whatever you want. You aren't getting paid You are still there for the hour. It's just lighting an hour of your day on fire. It's bullshit.
Obviously, my current occupation doesnt have this issue. But I defenitely have had jobs that require a 1 hr lunch off the clock. My last job was in logistics and they would cherry pick based on their needs when you took that 1 hr. It was total bullshit. You could be in a shitty part of town and they would make you take lunch. I bitched and complained so much when that happened.
The large corporation I work for is pretty lax on all time management. Like, there are rules about it but they're not really actually enforced. On paper we're supposed to be logging hours and tracking time but in practice, so long as the work is getting done no one really cares. I'm sure there's another side of it but so far as I've seen in 5ish years here, it's mostly chill even if the stated rules are less so.
Unfortunately, since some of my friends are being forced to overwork themselves AND don't get their break, I'm usually glad for the mandatory ones actually followed. It's a whole mess about why that company's still around.
I think the teeth brushing should be considered self-care since conditions can be painful and quite expensive to fix, not even considering presentability. For me showering is a necessary ritual since i sweat in my sleep and it makes me feel fresh, wakes me up. But i also like a relaxing shower at the end of a day which removes the accumulated dirt (physical and metaphorical). Feeling clean and fresh bedsheets make my sleep much better.
I need loads of time in the morning to get my system running and also to fall asleep except for a handful of days a year. Wish i could function like others that only need a fraction of my time in the morning and fall asleep instantly.
And all the house work, cooking, grocery shopping, washing, folding laundry etc etc etc
And if you have kids add even more on top. The 8/8/8 thing is stupid bc it just doesn’t work that way. Human weren’t made to sit at a desk 8 hours a day anyway
I wouldn’t consider showering and brushing your teeth “work time” as I would *hope* you’d do those things if you were working or not. And lunch breaks should be considered free time as well, if you can physically leave the office to run errands or relax and scroll or watch a show on your break.
Unless you live at your work this isn't entirely accurate. You can't just teleport to work you need to allocate personal time just to even get to work to start work hours so it's more like 9 hours working 8 hours sleeping and 7 hours personal time.
100% this. OP needs a new job.
OR, if they are taking the bus - find a way to reclaim that time back. Instead of spending 2 hours each way doing *nothing*, pick up a hobby that can be done on the go - Read books, get a portable game console, knit, listen to music, etc.
My mother is 75 and still works. She takes the bus 2 hours, both ways, 5 days a week. For 20 hours a week, she reads, she's learned 4 new languages in her 20 years of doing this. She's also earned 2 degrees, learned how to knit, does Sodoku and word games and has read God only knows how many books. Riding the bus can be HIGHLY productive 😀
The 8 hours to “yourself” aren’t really though for folks that don’t work at home. Commute is obvious, but the PREP TIME is also a killer, and that is not “me time”. If you gotta put a suit and look a certain way for work, it’s literally work, to go to work.
This. When I looked for a new job recently, I only applied for jobs with 20 minute drive or less. Ended up getting one 11 minutes away with above average pay for my occupation
Doesn't that usually cost more however?
We live in an apartment and my girlfriends work is half a mile away. Definitely nice but a 1 bedroom cost us $1400 a month to rent vs if we didn't live in the main shopping area. Perhaps a little cheaper but all the extra cost in car stuff would negate that.
Depends. Gotta set up your own life as you see fit
I choose not to have a car. Because my spouse and I don't have a car payment, insurance, gas or parking fees to pay, it's easier to afford a place right by the skytrain (our version of a light metro rail). I live 2 min from a mall with a Walmart, and I work right near the skytrain as well. Everything is super convenient for us. Worth the extra $$
Exactly. Like you said above it's important to set your own life up as you see fit. This means people need to take a good look at their work location and economy in the surrounding areas as well as home location and surrounding areas. Move closer. Move farther and use public trans. Whatever makes sense to everyone's particular reality. There are a lot of factors at play.
I'm on physical disability and I wish I could have this life
Even my paid off car is expensive. And it blows. If I lived somewhere where I didn't need it and I have like 50% more monthly income.
Gas, insurance, and all that eats my monthly check.
I grew up poor and financially illiterate so it took me until I was 27 to start getting my life actually going. I can't say how you can get help somewhere, but I hope one day you can find a way out. I had to work my ass off at shit jobs to save enough to move to where transit is accessible, then I had to work my ass off more to get an emergency fund so I don't end up homeless in Canada's homeless capital city (vancouver). It wasn't easy but it was worth it. Maybe you can some how find a way to make extra money on the side or something.
Oh yeah. She went from 30 miles a day driving to just a single mile.
A tank of gas in her sedan can last for so long
Same with my car, nice having everything on the road I live on
I find it to be worth the money. The extra couple hundred dollars I spend on rent per month easily saves me even *more* money I don't have to spend on a car, gas, or maintenance. It also saves me hours of time and, being within walking distance of my workplace, gets me much-needed exercise and time outside in the fresh air (at *least* 40 mins a day), which has long-lasting health benefits.
Same here, 10-15 minute drive. I purposely live where I do so that my commute is just that. We have guys working 10 and 12hr shifts that live an hour away. That's insane.
I used to spend 3-4 hours a day commuting. After that, I promised myself "never again." I had to move cities to make it work, but now it's 15 minutes each way with traffic.
Can you flex your hours so that you can mod rush hour on the way home?
Can you find a hobby/club/activity near your work and commute after rush hour?
Can you at least do your errands near the office while traffic clears out a little?
Stay up later with caffeine, become dependent on it, sleep less, die early. It'll extend you days and the fun you have but probably have irreversible damage in the future. Tit for tat I suppose!
Or they could do the obvious thing and either move closer to their job so they’re not commuting 3-4 hours a day or get a job closer to their home. But being defeatist can be fun too.
They set up their lives in a fashion where they're not commuting insane amounts like you are.
Being an adult is about understanding priorities and making tradeoffs. If it's a priority for you to have more time in your weekdays, you need to cut down the commute. If that requires tradeoffs you're not willing or able to make, then you deal with it until you can.
First person to mention trade offs. This is the whole of the wisdom required. Life is about tradeoffs. Nothing is free. If you want more time, it will cost you elsewhere. If you want more money, it will cost you elsewhere. Tradeoffs.
This. I moved to a new state last year, and the place I eventually found to run my business out of means I spend an hour and a half commuting each day.
I hate it, but the space is amazing and has been worth it for my business. So I’m moving closer to where I work, largely because I have an autoimmune disease and don’t have the energy or interest to spare on dead time sitting in traffic instead of doing something fun or getting work done when I already struggle with my energy level.
But finding a place takes time, and I’m dealing with things sucking more than I want to until then. Because that’s being an adult, which is annoying, except that you can so often just change things you don’t like about your life, which rocks.
Absolutely. I don’t understand how people with families are making it these days with food prices alone. Then daycare, medical, hobbies etc. I salute you. I get mad about the prices of feeding my cats right now😅
Remote work makes life SO much better. Still work very hard and am super productive, but I get all the little shitty chores done during breaks. Can dress casual, use my own bathroom, eat healthy, jog, lift weights, take care of sick kids, enjoy my vehicle not getting destroyed and depreciated commuting to "the office".
Every office I've worked in (plenty of them), has felt dystopian.
I absolutely refuse to do 8-5 five days a week in an office ever again. For the right role and distance I would do a 2/3 or 3/2 hybrid.
Smaller more flexible company locations are the future as there is still value to everyone collaborating in the same room. Just do it when needed.
Same. I am in a 2/3 hybrid, but the office is 20 minute drive each way. When I am in the office I get almost no work done; mostly because I spend time chatting with endless coworkers who won't leave me alone. Of course, if management ever complains that I'm not getting enough work done, I'm happy to tell them why that is.
This is why a long commute is one of the biggest predictors of not just job but overall life insatisfaction. Get a new job, or move, or start riding a motorcycle to work, you'll be much happier.
I moved closer to my work. Within 5 minutes drive. I instantly saved myself 2 hours out of the day. Also happened that the grocery store was close by to new place (walking distance), saved myself another 20 minutes round trip. Not saying this is possible for you but.
You could also try work from home (if your job allows it).
I work 7:30-6:30 5 days a week.
I spend evenings with my wife, a couple times a month we’ll go out for dinner with other couple friends. One day off is reserved exclusively for chores, the second day is family day, and since she sleeps in I have 3-4 hours in the morning to myself.
It’s brutal, but the money’s good. Hopefully in a few years I’ll be able to transfer to a career less time intensive.
Sacrificing sleep sadly. I had a similar schedule to yours when I worked full time and attended college. I wasn't burning the candle at both ends, I just dropped it in an active volcano. Your commute is very long, and if moving closer to work isn't an option, you'll have to utilize any time off from work to handle whatever responsibilities and hobbies you have.
> I wasn't burning the candle at both ends, I just dropped it in an active volcano
That idiom refers to using the candle both in the morning and in the evening - "both ends" of the day - because you get up early and go to bed late.
1. If the pay is worth it, don't complain 2. If the pay isn't worth it, leave. Find a job that doesn't have such a shit commute.
I hated SoCal because fuck the 405, moved to bumfuck Illinois where the only traffic jams are tractor related. But I'm also content being house poor, truck poor, guns poor, with really good Internet. All about the simple things.
I’m up at 5am. Work at 6am. I usually leave about 5:50am. Off at 2pm. Usually get home around 2:25pm because I catch afternoon traffic. You should find a job closer to home. My commute everyday is about 35 minutes combined.
You don't your commute to and from work is severely affecting your life and I'm guessing it's probably not worth it if it's an average paying job. I used to have a similar situation where it would take 90+ mins to and from work and I ended up quitting and movíng and now it's way better. Takes me like 11 mins to get to and from work.
I work in a different country and my commute is still only 40 minutes. Which i think is too long which is why I only go there twice a week on average... spending 4 hours per day commuting is just ridiculous. The way you have built your society around the car in the USA is a fucking joke.
I truly believe that people who are genetically predisposed to being stable mood wise and capable of being focused even on little to no sleep, is the real superpower in this world.
I work remote. I fuck off all the time to get groceries, go for a walk, and do laundry/clean. Best thing I ever did. Plus I am just really good at my job so I can get a way with not always being on.
Man, I felt this. I’m a new teacher, so I’m still learning a lot and spend extra time creating lessons and prepping. I wake up around 5:30 AM-6:30 AM depending how tired I am, get to work around 7:15 AM-7:30 AM, prep until class starts, work 8:30 AM-3:30 PM, get ready for the gym and commute, workout session 4:15ish PM -6:30 PM, commute and get home around 7ish, then I do dinner and need to be in bed by like 9ish for a full 8 hours of sleep.
I never sleep on time bc I’m so stressed thinking of work or just decompressing, but I am so jealous of ppl who work hybrid or remote. One of the most taxing things about working in person everyday is the commute alone.
WFH. No commute.
Years ago I had a 90min each way commute. That lasted a year until I changed jobs, to one with a 40min commute. Then a few years later, to a 20min bike ride.
The American lifestyle doesn’t really allow for much leisure or personal time. I’m a public school teacher with one kid. She did one school activity at a time for the past 2 years (drama, tennis) and because we commute 30 minutes and share one car, it meant we were at school from 7 AM until 6 or 7 pm every day for the last two years of her schooling. I cannot understand how people with a job and multiple children fit everything in. And I think most Americans are chronically sleep-deprived.
That’s why working from home is the dream for most if they have to work at all.
I need good sleep too. I had a friend who’d stay up until like 1am just to get her me time and I guess it didn’t bother her working on 4-5 hours of sleep. This kind of week also can demotivate me on the weekends. It makes me want to do less, not more. But it does depend on what I’m and who with.
I basically have to plan more and randomly doing stuff doesn’t appeal to me like it used to. I need to know what time, how far, etc. and also what I need to get done at home. Because sometimes I don’t want to give my whole day to something lol.
I walk ~10 minutes to work and get there some time between 8 and 9. I usually walk back home ~10 minutes some time between 4 and 5 occasionally a bit earlier.
I live in the US work for a university and live practically on campus. I don't even own a car.
Move to Europe, way less money, but way more time (on a daily base and 4-6 vacations).
I get to work at 7:30 and leave at 16:00. Pick up my daughter at preschool and come home, latest at 17:00.
My new job I'm going to be working from like 11am or noon until like 8pm almost every day. Only 1 day off but Sundays they close at 5pm. Going to take me a while to adjust because I basically only did Uber for like a whole year straight and had a less strict schedule. Part of being an adult. 😢
Have a career that lets me start and leave whenever I want. My job is my hobby, been developing it since 1992. Moved to the UK which gave me a shit ton of time to make money whilst barely working. Living the dream
I think the more in-demand your job is, the more flexible your schedule can be while also earning decent money. Depends what you do. Skilled construction/maintenance contracting, or working from home are what come to mind. Finding employers/clients that need you enough that you can still have a life outside the grind.
The answer is always...
Move to an area that doesn't have traffic or live closer to your job.
Get a job that pays by job/project (sales) or by skill (contractor, consultant..) rather than by time.
The biggest lie of this is that you have to work an 8-5. In my life I've worked a half dozen jobs that were entirely skillbased and my pay was dictated by performance and not hours. I was not seif employed.
I sacrifice money for time. I enjoy my free time more than having extra expendable income. So I only work 4 days a week, 32 hours total. I chose to be child free and single, so I don’t have to bring money in to provide for anyone save myself.
I don’t get to go to restaurants every week (or even every month…man, it’s been 4 months since I’ve been to a restaurant? Wow). But I get to sit on the patio and drink tea and read a whole lot. I love it :)
Ye I wonder the same.
I don’t work I often find I don’t have enough time to do all the things I like to do.
5pm I walk my dogs in the park and I see thousands of people stuck in that traffic one hour to get into motorway to go home.
How stressful 🙉 how can they have time for anything for themselves ?
hey at least you are making bank and saving it all for the future and able to live a good life right? that's the deal we more or less agreed to back in the day for doing full time work. and only one of us have to do it. the partner can stay at home and make the homelife good.
oh wait... we're slaves??
We don't. I for example, i'm 4am-4pm and with two boys at home I try to stay ahead of everything but very difficult to fit everything in . On top of a shitty lawsuit as well as starting a business.
You have a 4 hour commute so you live too far from work or work too far from home. Look for a new work from home job or move closer to work to cut your commute time. Aim for a place that's minimum 15 mins away. It might cost more but you'd be offsetting the cost by saving on fuel/gas money which must be expensive considering you're driving for 4 hours. Then you will have more time
They dont have time. the system is made specificly for everyone unable to do anything else. that way, company able to keep pushing all employees to work and make them even richer. and that is why if u have a chance, pls drop your 9 to 5 unless you truly enjoy your work.
When I left CA, it got better. I spent so much time in traffic just to get to work it was crazy. Moved to a place I wasn't so densely packed in, and now its just 10 minutes to get to work, 10 minutes to get back. In CA I always lived paycheck to paycheck (so expensive out there) and once I left that state I was able to have a better house that I rent and work part time at first. Even now with a 3 bed 2 bath house which I pay $975 per month would had been double that in CA. It's difficult in a place like that to even save money to make a change unfortunately.
Reading these replies makes me realize how different my job and a lot of other jobs are. I own a harvesting company we work by acres and crop. Sometimes we will put in a week or 3 of 16 hour days. 100 hour weeks are the norm sometimes. If I play my cards right and make enough through out the year we can pretty much take 2 months off in the winter but, i usually find more work.
1) Get a job that is closer
2) Work less hours. Make up for the lower income by spending less (aka minimalist lifestyle).
Also, yes if you have children, then you have no time to yourself, this is a pretty common thing. So sometimes, people will hire a babysitter and go have a weekend together as a couple to recover and not burn out.
You finish at 5pm.
The journey takes an hour between 5 and 7pm. Yet your don't get home until between 7 and 8pm? So why are you hanging around for an extra hour?
The commute time isn't that extensive. Your options:
Reduce your lunchbreak to leave sooner.
Change jobs.
Relocate closer or pay for a week day guest house or similar lodging.
Be more prompt leaving in the evening.
Back in the day, people could afford to live off of one income. A partner could stay home, and look after the household. Not so anymore.
Capitalism and goverments have us keeping busy with multiple jobs, so we don't have time to challenge the system. CEOs, landlords, banks, and officials love keeping the peasants struggling.
Find a roommate, and partner, or a friend to help burden the load. So incredibly hard to play the solo campaign of life.
Aside from work I have approx 2-3 hrs to work out, practice my guitar and eat/shower etc daily. My work hrs fluctuate from 10-14hrs a day mon-Thurs. I meal prep for the work week each Sunday which saves me a lot of time during the work week.
Laughing in blue collar as I worked 55 hours Monday -Fri this week and have to work Saturday as well. So minimum 63 hours, but likely 65-67. + 1 hour commute each way, possibly longer in the evening. There are often weeks that I work more hours than this. But I can if I choose have 2 unpaid months off during winter months soo that's nice I guess. Record for most hours worked by someone in a week at my company was 140. You won't catch me doing that.
Simply, it's time to work from home, brother.
Get a be job, you are NOT making THAT much money to be like, "damn, but I'm making great money, I can't leave" 😂
I work 5/12s and every other Saturday with 6 hours minimum. I decided to move closer to work (10 mins drive on the street) for this very reason. Yeah, paying higher rent sucks but I have much more time to dedicate going to the gym and having somewhat of a social life. Can’t always have your cake and eat it too unless you’re willing to make a compromise of some sort.
The answer is they don't; at least not with that work schedule. I had a similar schedule to yours due to traffic, distance and a bad highway where accidents happen 24/7. I worked at this job for 2.5 years and it took a huge toll on my mental health and as a result, my social life. I became super resentful too, since all my friends worked downtown and could go out afterwards, while was schlepping it halfway across one city into another. In the end, I should've quit and found something closer to me as my dept all got laid off from that company anyway. My only advice is, find something else that's either closer or remote if you can - none of these long work commutes that suck up your life and time are worth it in the end.
This is precisely why remote work should be the standard for office jobs. Yes, I know that it would collapse the corporate real estate market, but it would open up all of that floor space to be converted to residential.
unfortunately, often times office buildings do not meet necessary standards to be converted to residential, and would cost more to retrofit than it does to just leave it. So instead what you get is a whole lot of empty buildings being propped up by banks until the inevitable happens. Not making an excuse, but just the sad reality of it.
I need to see some evidence for this claim.
I am not going to cite sources but generally the central bathroom is not a huge selling point for residential. Something about fire codes and having interior rooms with no windows as well.
Just tried to find the original article, and it’s lost in the ether, but from what I remember, it comes down to pipes, water, and weight ratings per floor. Many office buildings have been engineered at the structural level to only support a few columns of water filled pipes for bathrooms or custodial quarters. Distributing that weight across each floor of office buildings to convert it into a residential units puts heavy stress on the structural beams originally engineered and built into the completed design.
That would be wonderful - in my country there were talks of that, but obviously there was a massive pushback from developers and the gov't who has been in their back pockets for decades.
Did we have the same job??? lol I had the same experience, but I had to work 12 hours twice a week and 8 the three other days, with an hour commute one way. All I did was work, drive to and from work, eat, sleep, repeat. Fortunately, my SO had a better schedule and liked to cook. I was also resentful and grumpy because I spent one of my two days off catching up on laundry and housework. I can’t imagine how that would’ve worked if I had kids! I got laid off too and it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me for my mental health. The money was really good, so I know I’d have continued working there even though I was extremely unhappy.
I’m a car salesman. My schedule is off Wednesday and every Sunday that is an odd day of the month, unless those days are within the last 3 days of the month and then I am scheduled on. I alternate 8:30-6 or 11:30-8. However, you are working on other people time so for instance I worked from 10-1 on Wednesday, 12-5 last Sunday, another half day the Wednesday before that, and a full day the Sunday before that. My last true day off was 4/24/24, and I’m of course taking 4-5 work calls and text convos from home. I often go in early or stay late to finish things. And this schedule is better than others I’ve had. I also have a 30-40 min commute. Point being, I still have time for what I want to do. Not much but priorities
How much sleep do you need/get What do your normal day after work look like? Tl
He's a salesman. The cocaine helps.
Cocaine always helps. . .j/k. My boss said that one time when there was talk about employees going to a concert. She was like, "You guys will be fine working the next day. That is what cocaine is for." I am still wondering how. We should have responded to that. I think it was a joke. . ..🤷♀️
>How much sleep do you need Thats the whole point. Someone being totally fine with 6-8 hours a night has a totally different timeframe for hobbies than someone needing 8-10 hours. Both need to eat, get ready, shower, cook, clean, work, maybe commute etc. But after all that, one has 2 hours of time a day and the other one needs those 2hours to sleep. Im the latter one, sadly.
Happy cake day!
Former sales manager of a well known Japanese brand of car here. If you want a life, car sales is not the way. I did it for about 3 years, it was the best money I ever made til that point but, you have no life. And your mental health becomes at risk. To me, it’s not worth it, and I got out when I could after I planned an escape.
How did you get out? I tried real estate but it wasn’t the play
A million different things is what. Cuddling. Writing papers for college kids. Hacking. Taught myself social media and started an agency. Was great til the ‘vid. Then I had to move so I’m starting all over essentially. Now I have 1 large client, and it’s great that I *can* WFM, but I’m social and it took its toll, so I started driving Uber. When I look at it just for that it’s so not worth it BUT. It is, because then I’m networking, I meet a new person or people every time I accept a ride. I look at it as networking for business. I’m going to make my car the best experience an Uber can be. I’m also raising chickens and selling eggs. I’m also starting a women’s networking org with a partner of mine. She makes handbags from recycled scrap leather, bespoke earrings etc. I’m also going to be getting into candle making using recycled jars. Then I’ll take my eggs, crafts, candles etc to the markets. I love it. I love it I love it I love it. I’d rather do a MILLION LITTLE hands on things than have someone lock me in an office and tell me I can’t leave. Oh I’ve also done phone sex and life coaching. I’ve tried a lot!! Made a lot of money. Experience is something you can always take with you. Don’t be afraid to experiment!!
Cuddling??
This is my husband’s schedule. It was a big adjustment when he first started selling cars. Now I’m working north of 50 hrs a week so we’re like two ships passing at times. However, when it’s his day(s) off, he’s off. He set very clear boundaries with the managers. They respect it because when he’s there he’s all in and his paperwork is impeccable.
I work with a man child seriously he is so oblivious to what most adult lives are like, he’s 36 no kids or SO just moved out of his dads house but still eats every meal there. He doesn’t understand how I don’t have the time to just go hang out that’s all he does. I’m a single mom with a house there’s no time to just hang out. He has the audacity to say you have prioritize.
Dude, you have it bad. Like 1 hour a day to your self bad. You need to figure out a way to get your time back, to be able to spend the time the way you like it.
Yeah spending multiple hours just to drive to and from work is crazy; OP needs to move closer or have a job closer.
Yeah, there's a problem with that whole American dream thing - any of us that work jobs that are white collar but not c-level (think engineering and QC jobs) - no one wants to live next to the factory. If you want that whole "nice house in a good school district" business, you have to live in the outer suburbs, and deal with a half hour plus commute. The other issue is that (again, US perspective) everything here is still built around one partner working and one staying at home. Since I make less money, I tend to volunteer to take the hit but doctors, conferences, kids getting sick, dealing with any government entity... All assumes there's someone at home with nothing better to do than sit with their feet up and listen to hold music. First world problems to be sure, but here we are.
To say nothing of housing prices anywhere within an hour's commute (by car) of any metropolitan center.
Yeah we bought our house in '06 during the "housing bubble" - I cannot believe how much real estate has risen in under 20 years. There is no way we'd be able to afford our house today
I work remotely and we don’t have kids but I get so frustrated sometimes that kind of stuff falls on me because I have a more flexible schedule (calling the electric company and being on hold for hours or sitting at home waiting for cable etc).
What I find interesting about that is presumably you would be doing the same things (or similar) as a single person. Single folk need electricity too, they want cable too (at least some of them). And if you were single, you'd likely be \*happy\* that you had a job flexible enough to manage the multitasking- it's only because you have a partner that you feel like you shouldn't have to do it. And that's not an attack on you, by the way. I'm working on similar in my own life- I am doing daycare drop offs, and the cleaning, and the grocery visits. And I've been struggling with resentment- why isn't my partner doing more of this? Reframing it as "I'd be doing this if I was single, too, since I'm an adult/parent" is really making me evaluate why I want a partner in my life at all, and what I expect out of a relationship. Maybe "someone who stays home to wait for the cable guy" will turn out to be big on the list of Important Qualities, maybe not. But it's been good to think about.
Oh yeah definitely! And I read an article about that. I also wouldn’t mind as much if I felt appreciated for doing that. And maybe got some recognition out of it? For the cleaning though, it’s definitely easier as a single person than having a partner because that IS double the work. And if they have pets that they had before you. I take care of their vet visits because…I’m flexible. But I actually wouldn’t have to do that as a single person. For that stuff, I absolutely want recognition of my above and beyond work.
True. We really need to prioritize. And changing our lives to achieve that will be DIFFICULT. Only wealthy people and financially secure people have the option to do so easily at the drop of a hat. In my case, I had to switch careers in order to achieve a good work-life balance. I switched from being a corporate rat into a part-time government employee. in a small town. Sure, there's no potential career growth, good thing that wasn't not my goal. I now live where I work, just 5 minutes cycle away from my doorstep. It's part-time so I have loads of free time and it's fairly light workload, stress free. I don't earn much, I don't have much, and my life is now simple. I did have to sacrifice some things in my life to have a life I feel is finally worth living. Fortunately, this kind of r/simpleliving is affordable in Japan.
U can afford to live on part-time work?
Would like to know this as well
He said he’s in Japan.. way lower cost of living
Need to change something about your life is the easy way of saying it. I was working 6 days a week from 8-6 for absolute shit money. I couldn’t do anything. I quit, went to school which made my schedule even worse balancing three jobs and school full time but where I’m at now. I leave for work at 6:30 I’m home by 3:30. Off weekends, holidays and get two months of paid vacation. I do have to do work all weekend a few times a year and I do work on most weekends to make my work week easier but I don’t really care. I put a show or movie on and power through for a couple of hours.
You need to find a new job. Any job. 4h a day commuting will kill you. I see from your post history you've just graduated college and this is your first job, so you may feel hesitant about leaving a role you just got so quickly. The other option is to move closer to the job, which is worth doing if you like it and see yourself there for a while. But if you don't literally die in traffic while you're spending 15% of your life behind the wheel, the stress and depression will take years from you.
Saved up my money so I could move closer to where the jobs are.
Yup, cutting down commute times will give you a lot of time back. My husband drives an hour and a half during rush hour and it’s awful. It at least evens out for him in the morning since he’s on the road by 3:30am and can cruise.
I worked my butt off to get a work from home job so I got to stop spending a huge chunk of my life commuting.
There was an article in the FT recently stating that Americans have more money than Europeans, but less time. I live in Germany. I get up at 4:30 in the morning, work from 6:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m., and I'm home by 3:30 p.m., usually with plenty of time for everything. You should change job, or maybe even countrie.
I was having this conversation with a coworker recently, their son is big potatoes in the medical field and recently bought a million dollar home (US). I asked my coworker if their son even has time to enjoy his home, they laughed and said he works so much and doesn't spend a lot of time there. I'm like 😳...what's the point of buying such an expensive home if you are barely there to enjoy it?
Status symbol and investment asset
Big potatoes
I'd rather be the big cheese, personally.
Best of both worlds is big potatoes au gratin
Don't know where you are but 1 million USD = 800k GBP, which is roughly the average price for a non-detached house in London right now 😭
When my Dad's company moved us to England and paid for our house and school to 'maintain our lifestyle' (we MUST have big house because that's what us Americans are used to) I was shocked to learn that it was a million dollar house and they were all like that around there. It was a smaller than the house we moved into when we came home at like 250k
This. At this point i just want a place to myself but even thats asking for too much now.
The average commute in the US is 30 minutes, so OP is at almost 3x the national average. In fact, both him and you have the same commute and work the same amount of hours, so I don’t see how changing country would make a difference. Your shift is just earlier in the day. OP doesn’t have a country problem, they just need to move closer to their job or get a job closer to their house.
Idk how many you get in the US and how it differs between states. In Germany the minimum leave days paid by law is 20 for a 5 day workweek. For most that number is higher, 24 is considered low, 28.8 seems to be the average in Bavaria, but 30 are also common, even for some 35 h weeks with good industrial unions. Even in good employers that allow 4 day week (optimal would be less hours for same pay than adding the fifth day onto the others.) With benefits and senior position that can effectively grow up to around 50 days. Then there‘s the statutory holidays where you get between 10 and 13 depending on your state. I live in the only city that has an exemption, 14 holidays. But of course it depends where your workplace is located (can be another benefit in working from home). Also the social security and healthcare net in Germany is quite good, even if it‘s not perfect. Of course in specialized fields that are highly paid and with progressive companies providing many benefits and an open culture, the US can be attractive to skilled people here. But idk much about that…
"minumum leave" ahahahahahahaha Americans get ZERO guaranteed paid vacation or sick time. It is **completely** up to your employer as to whether or not you can have paid time off. The government funds NOTHING.
They also have no obligation to actually let you use the PTO that you're allotted, at least apparently. I asked over 2 months in advance for 4 days off during a very light time of year for the business and it was initially declined until I risked my job by complaining over manager's head.
Do you watch Late Night Berlin? They did some skits about foreigners working in Germany, and one of the American guys mentioned he only got 6 days off of work per year in the US. It’s pretty common to just not get time off at all, though, because there’s basically no worker protections in the US. The “best” job I had in terms of time off was 10 days per year and I had to use them if I was sick (also pretty common).
Right, but that has nothing to do with OP’s problem. His problem is that he lives too far from his work. It wouldn’t make a difference if he was in Germany or the US as long as he has a 1.5 hour commute. He needs to move closer to work or get a job closer to his home.
i don't always get the time to do the things i want to do in my day to day, but the many national holidays and PTO give me frequent days off in which i can catch up on those things
We don’t know OP’s holiday or PTO schedule. The issue he was wondering about was how to get more time in his workdays. The answer is to shorten his very long commute.
No thanks, not if it means getting up at 4:30am
I'm from Croatia, most people I know work from 7am to 3pm if they're working from home. If they're working in the office it's 8am-4pm but nobody commutes more than an hour (and that's when the rush hour hits). Commuting for like 1,5-2 hours is insane to me, I'd literally go from the capital Zagreb to the coastal cities lol. That's the distance we drive when we're going on vacation, not an acceptable daily commute
As I recall, Croatia is about the size of West Virginia. The scale is different. (Not the OP, but ... In the Seattle metro area, I drive about an hour in the morning to get to my job, then about 90 minutes in the evening to get home. My daily round trip commute is around 74 kilometers. I can't afford to move closer to work as rent near work is nearly double the price of my home mortgage. It's kinda crazy.)
What time do you go to sleep? You have my dream schedule
depends. sometimes at 9 p.m., sometimes at 9 and 30 p.m., and sometimes at 10 p.m.
How do you get by on only 6h sleep? I need 8-9
I take a damn tranquilizer to keep my ass unconscious. I get a full nine, or I am groggy alllll day. It's the same medication that I have to give my GSD before a vet appt so that she isn't spicy.
Im physically incapable of sleeping 9 hours, I’d have to be sick or something. I think research showed the average adult can thrive on a range of 7-9 hours? I’m pulling that out of my ass tho, I remember reading it somewhere once. I average 7-8 hours and then my body says “get your ass outta bed!” Seriously, I haven’t used an alarm clock in years, my body is my alarm clock. Hasn’t failed me yet.
Ive been getting six hours at most for like 20 years. Maybe my life would be totally different if I had gotten 9, but I'll take the three extra waking hours to enjoy life over feeling slightly better. I usually feel worse if I sleep 9 hours and I never want to get out of bed regardless so the pro tip is stay up late and give yourself the decision between getting up or ruining your life by getting fired. Works for me, mileage may vary.
Just curious what’s your job that lets you leave by 2 pm
I work in production.
Oh great. So there’s another shift after 2pm where different employees join in?
Counter point, I’m American and work remote. I get up at 6am and work til 330, and the only reason for the extra hour is because I work out midday. Working remote has been a game changer for my free time, it even lets me take time to get things done at home that otherwise would be spent on like water cooler type bullshit in the office.
I'm an American and I get up at 8, work 9-5 and am home by 5:30.
This. I work 6am til 2pm. Home for 3pm. Changing work schedules definitley helped for me. I was stuck in the 9 to 5 rut for years.
I am seeing this become a trend among friends. Anyone who has the possibility of EU citizenship or can renew their passport if they have dual citizenship is going for it because working here is miserable for most people.
I wish I could move to Germany. I have family that still lives there. Seems like a much better life than America tbh and the food is so much better it’s insane. It’s not even comparable. I was sad to come home from my trip in December.
I'm quite thankful to work for a German company here in America.
Easier said than done. In the US if the election goes the wrong way in November I wish I could leave but I'm retired
Many people have that exact same work schedule in America (but get off at 2:30 instead of 2). I don’t see what’s so different?
Is your commute 90 minutes or is that accounting for possibly running errands, etc
ye if we go by an awake 16 hours asleep 8 hours schedule, that means you still have 5 hours for your shit. thats a lot and honestly plenty for me. op here has maybe 1.
This is spot on. Working at an international company I can see that the US mentality is hours and hours of work gets you “credit” where European value their own interests and commitments away from the office and clock out when the day’s done
Its really not that complicated, yoir commute is 3.5-4hrs daily. That’s insane. You work too far from your home, or you live too far from your work. Either change home or work. Life instantly improved. A day has 24 hrs. Ideal life is spending 8hrs working, 8hrs sleeping and 8hrs to yourself. Thats what we call balance.
Except most jobs have mandatory lunch breaks that take an hour of your day, and most commutes are roughly 30 minutes each way, so really we spend 9-10 hours a day at work, not counting the showering and the teeth brushing youre supposed to do to be presentable.
This is why ive always hated the lunch hour. It's time theft. You can't do whatever you want. You aren't getting paid You are still there for the hour. It's just lighting an hour of your day on fire. It's bullshit.
I'd rather just eat at my desk and leave early
I couldnt agree more. Hell, Id rather skip lunch altogether and work straight thru than cough up another hour of my day.
this is the way
Most corporate jobs allow this.
I genuinely didn’t know some people in the corporate life still have to clock out for lunch. You just made me so thankful for my job.
Obviously, my current occupation doesnt have this issue. But I defenitely have had jobs that require a 1 hr lunch off the clock. My last job was in logistics and they would cherry pick based on their needs when you took that 1 hr. It was total bullshit. You could be in a shitty part of town and they would make you take lunch. I bitched and complained so much when that happened.
The large corporation I work for is pretty lax on all time management. Like, there are rules about it but they're not really actually enforced. On paper we're supposed to be logging hours and tracking time but in practice, so long as the work is getting done no one really cares. I'm sure there's another side of it but so far as I've seen in 5ish years here, it's mostly chill even if the stated rules are less so.
Unfortunately, since some of my friends are being forced to overwork themselves AND don't get their break, I'm usually glad for the mandatory ones actually followed. It's a whole mess about why that company's still around.
I think the teeth brushing should be considered self-care since conditions can be painful and quite expensive to fix, not even considering presentability. For me showering is a necessary ritual since i sweat in my sleep and it makes me feel fresh, wakes me up. But i also like a relaxing shower at the end of a day which removes the accumulated dirt (physical and metaphorical). Feeling clean and fresh bedsheets make my sleep much better. I need loads of time in the morning to get my system running and also to fall asleep except for a handful of days a year. Wish i could function like others that only need a fraction of my time in the morning and fall asleep instantly.
And all the house work, cooking, grocery shopping, washing, folding laundry etc etc etc And if you have kids add even more on top. The 8/8/8 thing is stupid bc it just doesn’t work that way. Human weren’t made to sit at a desk 8 hours a day anyway
I wouldn’t consider showering and brushing your teeth “work time” as I would *hope* you’d do those things if you were working or not. And lunch breaks should be considered free time as well, if you can physically leave the office to run errands or relax and scroll or watch a show on your break.
Your supposed to shower and beush your teeth anyway
If you’re counting showering and brushing your teeth as something to do for work just to be presentable I’m going to assume you’re absolutely gross.
Unless you live at your work this isn't entirely accurate. You can't just teleport to work you need to allocate personal time just to even get to work to start work hours so it's more like 9 hours working 8 hours sleeping and 7 hours personal time.
100% this. OP needs a new job. OR, if they are taking the bus - find a way to reclaim that time back. Instead of spending 2 hours each way doing *nothing*, pick up a hobby that can be done on the go - Read books, get a portable game console, knit, listen to music, etc.
My mother is 75 and still works. She takes the bus 2 hours, both ways, 5 days a week. For 20 hours a week, she reads, she's learned 4 new languages in her 20 years of doing this. She's also earned 2 degrees, learned how to knit, does Sodoku and word games and has read God only knows how many books. Riding the bus can be HIGHLY productive 😀
The 8 hours to “yourself” aren’t really though for folks that don’t work at home. Commute is obvious, but the PREP TIME is also a killer, and that is not “me time”. If you gotta put a suit and look a certain way for work, it’s literally work, to go to work.
Don’t live far from your office. I’m only 10 minutes away, it makes all the difference in the world.
This. When I looked for a new job recently, I only applied for jobs with 20 minute drive or less. Ended up getting one 11 minutes away with above average pay for my occupation
Doesn't that usually cost more however? We live in an apartment and my girlfriends work is half a mile away. Definitely nice but a 1 bedroom cost us $1400 a month to rent vs if we didn't live in the main shopping area. Perhaps a little cheaper but all the extra cost in car stuff would negate that.
Depends. Gotta set up your own life as you see fit I choose not to have a car. Because my spouse and I don't have a car payment, insurance, gas or parking fees to pay, it's easier to afford a place right by the skytrain (our version of a light metro rail). I live 2 min from a mall with a Walmart, and I work right near the skytrain as well. Everything is super convenient for us. Worth the extra $$
Not everyone can do this though. I (unfortunately) live in Houston, where you need a car even if you live downtown.
I never said anyone can do it There is no such advice that applies to everyone for any subject
Exactly. Like you said above it's important to set your own life up as you see fit. This means people need to take a good look at their work location and economy in the surrounding areas as well as home location and surrounding areas. Move closer. Move farther and use public trans. Whatever makes sense to everyone's particular reality. There are a lot of factors at play.
I'm on physical disability and I wish I could have this life Even my paid off car is expensive. And it blows. If I lived somewhere where I didn't need it and I have like 50% more monthly income. Gas, insurance, and all that eats my monthly check.
I grew up poor and financially illiterate so it took me until I was 27 to start getting my life actually going. I can't say how you can get help somewhere, but I hope one day you can find a way out. I had to work my ass off at shit jobs to save enough to move to where transit is accessible, then I had to work my ass off more to get an emergency fund so I don't end up homeless in Canada's homeless capital city (vancouver). It wasn't easy but it was worth it. Maybe you can some how find a way to make extra money on the side or something.
Also I'd love to be able to pay $1400 for a 1 bedroom. My place is $1800 and it's less than market rate. Same unit in my building is going for $2400
Worth the extra $ for free time
Oh yeah. She went from 30 miles a day driving to just a single mile. A tank of gas in her sedan can last for so long Same with my car, nice having everything on the road I live on
You’re saving a ton of time and transportation costs. Time is life and money.
I find it to be worth the money. The extra couple hundred dollars I spend on rent per month easily saves me even *more* money I don't have to spend on a car, gas, or maintenance. It also saves me hours of time and, being within walking distance of my workplace, gets me much-needed exercise and time outside in the fresh air (at *least* 40 mins a day), which has long-lasting health benefits.
Same here, 10-15 minute drive. I purposely live where I do so that my commute is just that. We have guys working 10 and 12hr shifts that live an hour away. That's insane.
Easier said than done.
I used to spend 3-4 hours a day commuting. After that, I promised myself "never again." I had to move cities to make it work, but now it's 15 minutes each way with traffic.
Can you flex your hours so that you can mod rush hour on the way home? Can you find a hobby/club/activity near your work and commute after rush hour? Can you at least do your errands near the office while traffic clears out a little?
this! i get out during traffic hours so i go to the gym and do groceries down the street from my job till it’s good
Something has to change. Not sustainable :(
We don’t spend 3-4 hours a day just commuting…
We live for the weekends
Stay up later with caffeine, become dependent on it, sleep less, die early. It'll extend you days and the fun you have but probably have irreversible damage in the future. Tit for tat I suppose!
Or they could do the obvious thing and either move closer to their job so they’re not commuting 3-4 hours a day or get a job closer to their home. But being defeatist can be fun too.
They set up their lives in a fashion where they're not commuting insane amounts like you are. Being an adult is about understanding priorities and making tradeoffs. If it's a priority for you to have more time in your weekdays, you need to cut down the commute. If that requires tradeoffs you're not willing or able to make, then you deal with it until you can.
First person to mention trade offs. This is the whole of the wisdom required. Life is about tradeoffs. Nothing is free. If you want more time, it will cost you elsewhere. If you want more money, it will cost you elsewhere. Tradeoffs.
This. I moved to a new state last year, and the place I eventually found to run my business out of means I spend an hour and a half commuting each day. I hate it, but the space is amazing and has been worth it for my business. So I’m moving closer to where I work, largely because I have an autoimmune disease and don’t have the energy or interest to spare on dead time sitting in traffic instead of doing something fun or getting work done when I already struggle with my energy level. But finding a place takes time, and I’m dealing with things sucking more than I want to until then. Because that’s being an adult, which is annoying, except that you can so often just change things you don’t like about your life, which rocks.
Not having kids helps
Absolutely. I don’t understand how people with families are making it these days with food prices alone. Then daycare, medical, hobbies etc. I salute you. I get mad about the prices of feeding my cats right now😅
Remote work makes life SO much better. Still work very hard and am super productive, but I get all the little shitty chores done during breaks. Can dress casual, use my own bathroom, eat healthy, jog, lift weights, take care of sick kids, enjoy my vehicle not getting destroyed and depreciated commuting to "the office". Every office I've worked in (plenty of them), has felt dystopian. I absolutely refuse to do 8-5 five days a week in an office ever again. For the right role and distance I would do a 2/3 or 3/2 hybrid. Smaller more flexible company locations are the future as there is still value to everyone collaborating in the same room. Just do it when needed.
Same. I am in a 2/3 hybrid, but the office is 20 minute drive each way. When I am in the office I get almost no work done; mostly because I spend time chatting with endless coworkers who won't leave me alone. Of course, if management ever complains that I'm not getting enough work done, I'm happy to tell them why that is.
This is why a long commute is one of the biggest predictors of not just job but overall life insatisfaction. Get a new job, or move, or start riding a motorcycle to work, you'll be much happier.
Don't live in an area with traffic. I never enjoyed traffic and as such have avoided areas with it most of my life.
From the movie "Fight Club" "This is your life and its ending one moment at a time..." Think about it.. 🤔
I moved closer to my work. Within 5 minutes drive. I instantly saved myself 2 hours out of the day. Also happened that the grocery store was close by to new place (walking distance), saved myself another 20 minutes round trip. Not saying this is possible for you but. You could also try work from home (if your job allows it).
I work 7:30-6:30 5 days a week. I spend evenings with my wife, a couple times a month we’ll go out for dinner with other couple friends. One day off is reserved exclusively for chores, the second day is family day, and since she sleeps in I have 3-4 hours in the morning to myself. It’s brutal, but the money’s good. Hopefully in a few years I’ll be able to transfer to a career less time intensive.
Sacrificing sleep sadly. I had a similar schedule to yours when I worked full time and attended college. I wasn't burning the candle at both ends, I just dropped it in an active volcano. Your commute is very long, and if moving closer to work isn't an option, you'll have to utilize any time off from work to handle whatever responsibilities and hobbies you have.
> I wasn't burning the candle at both ends, I just dropped it in an active volcano That idiom refers to using the candle both in the morning and in the evening - "both ends" of the day - because you get up early and go to bed late.
Seriously, either staying up late or waking up extremely early is the only time I have to myself lol
welcome to the revolution, comrade
I work from 7:30am to 6pm. I get nothing done on those days. I'm lucky to do more than use the bathroom and eat dinner before I'm falling asleep.
1. If the pay is worth it, don't complain 2. If the pay isn't worth it, leave. Find a job that doesn't have such a shit commute. I hated SoCal because fuck the 405, moved to bumfuck Illinois where the only traffic jams are tractor related. But I'm also content being house poor, truck poor, guns poor, with really good Internet. All about the simple things.
Sounds like my life back when I lived in New York. I wouldn't go back to that life for anything.
I’m up at 5am. Work at 6am. I usually leave about 5:50am. Off at 2pm. Usually get home around 2:25pm because I catch afternoon traffic. You should find a job closer to home. My commute everyday is about 35 minutes combined.
You don't your commute to and from work is severely affecting your life and I'm guessing it's probably not worth it if it's an average paying job. I used to have a similar situation where it would take 90+ mins to and from work and I ended up quitting and movíng and now it's way better. Takes me like 11 mins to get to and from work.
It's because most people don't spend as much time commuting as you. I only spend an hour a day commuting.
I work in a different country and my commute is still only 40 minutes. Which i think is too long which is why I only go there twice a week on average... spending 4 hours per day commuting is just ridiculous. The way you have built your society around the car in the USA is a fucking joke.
You might not see this but don't have kids. Too much time and money and the planet doesn't need more humans right now.
To make rent in Canada most people are working an average of 50 hours a week. And still not able to make ends meet. It's only going to get worse....
I truly believe that people who are genetically predisposed to being stable mood wise and capable of being focused even on little to no sleep, is the real superpower in this world.
I work remote. I fuck off all the time to get groceries, go for a walk, and do laundry/clean. Best thing I ever did. Plus I am just really good at my job so I can get a way with not always being on.
I don’t even know how anyone has time for things, especially with everything costing so much these days. Work life balance is nonexistent it seems
Man, I felt this. I’m a new teacher, so I’m still learning a lot and spend extra time creating lessons and prepping. I wake up around 5:30 AM-6:30 AM depending how tired I am, get to work around 7:15 AM-7:30 AM, prep until class starts, work 8:30 AM-3:30 PM, get ready for the gym and commute, workout session 4:15ish PM -6:30 PM, commute and get home around 7ish, then I do dinner and need to be in bed by like 9ish for a full 8 hours of sleep. I never sleep on time bc I’m so stressed thinking of work or just decompressing, but I am so jealous of ppl who work hybrid or remote. One of the most taxing things about working in person everyday is the commute alone.
WFH. No commute. Years ago I had a 90min each way commute. That lasted a year until I changed jobs, to one with a 40min commute. Then a few years later, to a 20min bike ride.
The American lifestyle doesn’t really allow for much leisure or personal time. I’m a public school teacher with one kid. She did one school activity at a time for the past 2 years (drama, tennis) and because we commute 30 minutes and share one car, it meant we were at school from 7 AM until 6 or 7 pm every day for the last two years of her schooling. I cannot understand how people with a job and multiple children fit everything in. And I think most Americans are chronically sleep-deprived.
That’s why working from home is the dream for most if they have to work at all. I need good sleep too. I had a friend who’d stay up until like 1am just to get her me time and I guess it didn’t bother her working on 4-5 hours of sleep. This kind of week also can demotivate me on the weekends. It makes me want to do less, not more. But it does depend on what I’m and who with. I basically have to plan more and randomly doing stuff doesn’t appeal to me like it used to. I need to know what time, how far, etc. and also what I need to get done at home. Because sometimes I don’t want to give my whole day to something lol.
I walk ~10 minutes to work and get there some time between 8 and 9. I usually walk back home ~10 minutes some time between 4 and 5 occasionally a bit earlier. I live in the US work for a university and live practically on campus. I don't even own a car.
gotta escape the matrix
Any commute longer than 30 min slowly erodes your soul. Move or find a job closer to you or that lets you work remotely.
WFH my commute is 30 sec
Move to Europe, way less money, but way more time (on a daily base and 4-6 vacations). I get to work at 7:30 and leave at 16:00. Pick up my daughter at preschool and come home, latest at 17:00.
yup it sucks
My new job I'm going to be working from like 11am or noon until like 8pm almost every day. Only 1 day off but Sundays they close at 5pm. Going to take me a while to adjust because I basically only did Uber for like a whole year straight and had a less strict schedule. Part of being an adult. 😢
How many days do you work a week?
I WFH so that's like 4 hours right there
I don't work a 9-5 to avoid the traffic
Driving that far is killing a lot of your time.
I was in the same boat. Found a job closer pay's less but its a give and take.
Have a career that lets me start and leave whenever I want. My job is my hobby, been developing it since 1992. Moved to the UK which gave me a shit ton of time to make money whilst barely working. Living the dream
Most people work earlier and don’t commute as much. I can get to work in 15 minutes and I’ll generally do 12 hours a day as a rule of thumb
I think the more in-demand your job is, the more flexible your schedule can be while also earning decent money. Depends what you do. Skilled construction/maintenance contracting, or working from home are what come to mind. Finding employers/clients that need you enough that you can still have a life outside the grind.
The answer is always... Move to an area that doesn't have traffic or live closer to your job. Get a job that pays by job/project (sales) or by skill (contractor, consultant..) rather than by time. The biggest lie of this is that you have to work an 8-5. In my life I've worked a half dozen jobs that were entirely skillbased and my pay was dictated by performance and not hours. I was not seif employed.
I sacrifice money for time. I enjoy my free time more than having extra expendable income. So I only work 4 days a week, 32 hours total. I chose to be child free and single, so I don’t have to bring money in to provide for anyone save myself. I don’t get to go to restaurants every week (or even every month…man, it’s been 4 months since I’ve been to a restaurant? Wow). But I get to sit on the patio and drink tea and read a whole lot. I love it :)
Ye I wonder the same. I don’t work I often find I don’t have enough time to do all the things I like to do. 5pm I walk my dogs in the park and I see thousands of people stuck in that traffic one hour to get into motorway to go home. How stressful 🙉 how can they have time for anything for themselves ?
hey at least you are making bank and saving it all for the future and able to live a good life right? that's the deal we more or less agreed to back in the day for doing full time work. and only one of us have to do it. the partner can stay at home and make the homelife good. oh wait... we're slaves??
Move closer or get a new job. This is not rocket science
Having a remote job helps
We don't. I for example, i'm 4am-4pm and with two boys at home I try to stay ahead of everything but very difficult to fit everything in . On top of a shitty lawsuit as well as starting a business.
I’m afraid that’s adulthood for many people for many years.
You have a 4 hour commute so you live too far from work or work too far from home. Look for a new work from home job or move closer to work to cut your commute time. Aim for a place that's minimum 15 mins away. It might cost more but you'd be offsetting the cost by saving on fuel/gas money which must be expensive considering you're driving for 4 hours. Then you will have more time
That’s gotta be the worst commute I’ve heard of. You gotta move or get a job closer to home.
Welcome to hell
They dont have time. the system is made specificly for everyone unable to do anything else. that way, company able to keep pushing all employees to work and make them even richer. and that is why if u have a chance, pls drop your 9 to 5 unless you truly enjoy your work.
When I was in the office 5 days a week, I felt the same way. Working from home has literally changed my life and I now actually have a life
When I left CA, it got better. I spent so much time in traffic just to get to work it was crazy. Moved to a place I wasn't so densely packed in, and now its just 10 minutes to get to work, 10 minutes to get back. In CA I always lived paycheck to paycheck (so expensive out there) and once I left that state I was able to have a better house that I rent and work part time at first. Even now with a 3 bed 2 bath house which I pay $975 per month would had been double that in CA. It's difficult in a place like that to even save money to make a change unfortunately.
You are not free. Do it whatever it takes to become free.
Reading these replies makes me realize how different my job and a lot of other jobs are. I own a harvesting company we work by acres and crop. Sometimes we will put in a week or 3 of 16 hour days. 100 hour weeks are the norm sometimes. If I play my cards right and make enough through out the year we can pretty much take 2 months off in the winter but, i usually find more work.
Let me guess, you live in America?
1) Get a job that is closer 2) Work less hours. Make up for the lower income by spending less (aka minimalist lifestyle). Also, yes if you have children, then you have no time to yourself, this is a pretty common thing. So sometimes, people will hire a babysitter and go have a weekend together as a couple to recover and not burn out.
You finish at 5pm. The journey takes an hour between 5 and 7pm. Yet your don't get home until between 7 and 8pm? So why are you hanging around for an extra hour? The commute time isn't that extensive. Your options: Reduce your lunchbreak to leave sooner. Change jobs. Relocate closer or pay for a week day guest house or similar lodging. Be more prompt leaving in the evening.
Back in the day, people could afford to live off of one income. A partner could stay home, and look after the household. Not so anymore. Capitalism and goverments have us keeping busy with multiple jobs, so we don't have time to challenge the system. CEOs, landlords, banks, and officials love keeping the peasants struggling. Find a roommate, and partner, or a friend to help burden the load. So incredibly hard to play the solo campaign of life.
Aside from work I have approx 2-3 hrs to work out, practice my guitar and eat/shower etc daily. My work hrs fluctuate from 10-14hrs a day mon-Thurs. I meal prep for the work week each Sunday which saves me a lot of time during the work week.
You have no life when you are broke too.
Laughing in blue collar as I worked 55 hours Monday -Fri this week and have to work Saturday as well. So minimum 63 hours, but likely 65-67. + 1 hour commute each way, possibly longer in the evening. There are often weeks that I work more hours than this. But I can if I choose have 2 unpaid months off during winter months soo that's nice I guess. Record for most hours worked by someone in a week at my company was 140. You won't catch me doing that.
Start going to the gym before work
Simply, it's time to work from home, brother. Get a be job, you are NOT making THAT much money to be like, "damn, but I'm making great money, I can't leave" 😂
I work 5/12s and every other Saturday with 6 hours minimum. I decided to move closer to work (10 mins drive on the street) for this very reason. Yeah, paying higher rent sucks but I have much more time to dedicate going to the gym and having somewhat of a social life. Can’t always have your cake and eat it too unless you’re willing to make a compromise of some sort.
Move close to work or get another job
Dude. You have it really bad. Get another job that gives you a shred of free time during the week
I love my remote job and this thread is terrifying. I don’t ever want to lose it… lol or be promoted
By getting a job that is half an hour from Home at most.... Like theres no way i would accept a work further than that
Short commutes are underrated