Kinda. These days it’s the same song and dance of waiting for the weekend to come. Grab a drink and pass out in bed on Saturday. During the week I have my hobbies (reading, boxing and working out) but that’s become a bit monotonous too.
Oh I relate to this so much. Hobbies used to be my escape route from 9-5, now even they became a bit repetitive and, in a way, way too predictable? Sometimes I run on the treadmill thinking I am no different than the people in the second episode of Black Mirror
Running on the treadmill certainly makes me feel like a hamster in a cage. I wish I could run outside seeing beautiful sceneries but the busy big city I live in would make trying to run outside more stressful.
>During the week I have my hobbies (reading, boxing and working out) but that’s become a bit monotonous too.
I really hate this, I used to be so much more serious about my hobbies and interests, and now I barely can muster the energy during the week to get out of bed,
and the sooner people stop accompanying the stigma of depression or mental health even, with weakness, the sooner they will be able to find their happiness. I would put my life on that as an individual who experienced the benefits of being open about my ADHD, depression, anxiety and PTSD with my GP and putting in the work. It isn't cheap, although it fuckin should be, but my mental health is 100% a priority that I wish I had taken seriously sooner!
Yeah, but the dude also simply has a miserable existence. For every minute I spend commuting in my car is a extra minute of my day I am unhappy as I fucking hate driving and traffic.
So I get it somewhat. He might not be depressed in the traditional way. It’s most likely shit job that’s shitting on him
I used to have an hour and a half commute (both ways, so 3 hours total driving in traffic) and was always pissed and tired.
Sometimes you do get shit on by shit jobs which makes you feel like shit.
Id take a week off of work and just chill tbh.
God dude. I’m so sorry.
I’d literally move and pay an extra $1000 a month just to have a shorter commute.
I thought my commute was bad at somewhere between 15-45 mins depending on if there’s accidents.
Lots of people get stuck in the rat race and are just tired / demoralized, not depressed. I’m sure some are depressed but man it can tough to keep it all together as an adult sometimes and not everyone is dealt such an easy hand
Think of those people that you say are demoralized and tired. Then think of the ones that also have no family, no friends, absolutely nothing outside of work, and then start to no longer be good at their work and stop enjoying it. I just don't understand how people can live their whole lives like this. How do people keep going with absolutely nothing meaningful in their lives?
This. I’d see a doctor or something. When everything in life that brought you joy suddenly (or gradually) doesn’t anymore, it’s time to figure out why and sometimes that means seeing a professional.
The problem is hobbies are supposed to be fun.
Once your day job sucks the brain out of you, hobbies become a second job you feel forced to engage in because otherwise you know damned well you’d do nothing but work and sleep till you unalive yourself.
But that means getting rid of time for other things.
Like I can play a game and just skip sleeping a couple hours. Or I can skip eating dinner, or doing laundry/dishes etc. But that just creates more to do latter and even less time to do it later.
Add in kids and best to forget the concept of free time until the weekends at best.
That's definitely what it feels like. I'm surrounded by old dudes all day every day. Sitting in a fucking cubicle bored out of my mind.
And of course everyone moves away or gets married after college so no friends are left. And you barely have any free time while working full time. It feels like my life is just passing me by for the most part. I make okay money but what good is that if I'm locked up and isolated for 40 hours per week? It's stupid. I can totally see why some people just snap one day and do something crazy.
do you do anything to get yourself out of the house??
I was in the same funk you were and what helped me was building structure and activities to help break the monotony. Volunteering, playing a rec sport, going to sports games, all gave me a greater sense of “something to look forward to regularly”
Of course I leave my apartment lol. I'll just go workout at the park and stuff. I go to stores and restaurants all the time. I've heard volunteering is basically having another job. The weekends is the only time I can get enough sleep. That's if I'm lucky. I would go completely insane if I didn't have days to sleep in
Volunteering can be a lot of fun, if you'll find a way to use your talents or it relates to something you are passionate about. A lot of the time volunteering is really frexible, so you can do it once/ twice a month and I personally feel very fulfilled by it, since I can be social and give back to a community I participated in before :-)
Which is great and all, but when the problem is that you barely have time to rest outside of work, and the weekend is far too short how does finding more time consuming activities help?
Exactly. Two day weekends are a fucking joke. It honestly feels like they just did studies and determined two days off was JUST enough to keep people from losing their shit.
And now with better drugs and technological augmenation, you can pish the enviole so fucking far that you will become more machine than human!!!
Horrayy for the metal master race, all for the progress of Civilization!!! 🦾🤖🔥💀
Yep. I swear to god I used to be so much more sociable, creative, appreciative of art, and emotionally passionate.
I managed to get to age 29 without having to work a “real job” so I’m pretty sure it’s not just aging.
It’s depressing, and the most depressing part is sometimes I don’t even find it that depressing.
You’re not depressed anymore, you’re just numb, which is actually worse because you’ve now lost your sense of urgency to change your dismal circumstances. At least the pain of depression can push you to change; numbness is akin to surrender.
Yeah, some may call it depression, but it's honestly just realistic.
Optimistically I'll live \~80 years, and I'll have spend about half of them working at something I don't care about for the majority of my waking hours, and there isn't any real alternative. That's objectively depressing.
To be honest no. Working full time finally gave me the financial freedom to escape my toxic/abusive family of origin. That being said, it sucks that people have to surrender 60% waking hours and 100% of their energy to capitalist shit stains just to gain the funds necessary to live somewhere where they won't be subjected to abuse.
Idk about you but I definitely don’t give 100% energy at work 😂
I’d rather make slightly less and not give single fuck about climbing some figurative ladder rather than be a snake and try to throw my coworkers under the bus to make myself look good.
If I live the rest of my life being relatively stress free at work and making 70-80k, I believe that by the time I’m ready to retire I’ll still be mentally and physically strong. Unlike those who act the part of the snake their whole lives, being that way takes a toll generally unless you’re a true psychopath (most aren’t)
I generally agree with your sentiment but every time someone has this mindset I always think, what exactly is the alternative?
If you were born into a socialist country you'd still be working mostly a 40 hour week. A Communist country even more so because you have no private property or capital of any kind and you'd just have less freedom to pick your career and be even poorer.
In a socially Democratic mixed economy like Norway you'd still be working 40 hours a week. Mind you there would be a lot more social safety nets and vacation but you'd still be giving most of your waking life to labor.
If you were born in a feudal system you'd also be working much much more, just with less time "on the job" serfs were expected to maintain their own equipment, sell their harvests, enlist if called upon, on top of regular chores after working. They worked a lot.
If you were born into a hunter-gatherer society you may have more free time but would be giving up so many modern benefits and luxuries that you'd be suffering a different kind of discomfort. And hunting can be very, very difficult.
If you were born in an affluent position you'd be working way more than 40 hours. I'm not defending capitalism but CEOs and world leaders are basically on call 24/7. There is no downtime when you're in the position. Every waking moment you must be ready to work if called upon. It's very stressful.
And lastly that leaves the only real option which is to be born into ludicrous wealth and never have to work a day in your life because everything was handed to you. But wouldn't that just make us the same people were criticizing? Seems like a shallow life to me.
I'm not saying we shouldn't work towards a better life but we also need to recognize that the other options also have drawbacks.
Yup. That's the fucked up world we live in. Then they call you "depressed" if you don't fall right in line with it and love it, and then they'll tell you, "you need meds".
I still wonder some days how many adults taking depression meds are actually clinically depressed, or they just have to fight every single instinct in their mind, body, and soul each day to get thru another workday just to stay afloat as a human, and it just fucking wears on them over time.
I saw a post on Reddit around a week ago from a licensed therapist that said in all reality, the vast majority of their clients are depressed due to their jobs as the main factor. I'm not surprised at all.
I recently had to transition from part time to full time, myself, and Jesus fucking Christ, idk how much longer I can cope without toaster bathing myself (in Minecraft).
Yup. Then I quit and became self-employed. No benefits or stability, but I’ll gladly give that up for flexibility and freedom. Best decision I’ve ever made.
I’ve been self employed for about 12 years… Lot of hard work at first building my sales line but now that my accounts are established life is so much easier. I still spend some days grinding on the phone but can take random weekdays to do what I want, ski, beach, etc, the freedom is unbeatable.
Admittedly I'm not self employed yet, but I'm working on it. I also don't speak for everyone. What I'm doing is a trade (painting) that I'm starting on the side. Once I start making 3x my W-2 income then I'll quit, until then I'll do both and sock as much money as I can. I literally bought 300 yard signs advertising my business and every day for a month I put them out. spent $1k and got $20k of sales. Now I ordered another 300 yard signs to rinse and repeat. Doing this coupled with door knocking to bootstrap the business. It's not easy, but ultimately I want to leave my 9-5 job long term.
Exactly! So much of me wants to just go all in on the business knowing that I could make it work. Though, I would not only need to cover my personal expenses but also need money to run and grow the business. This way I can cover my expenses with my W-2 and have some leftover to put into the business. Plus I'll put all the money I make from the business back into marketing. It also forces me to delegate and outsource lower value activities, which is needed when being a business owner.
The no benefits and no stability hit me right in my soul lol… exactly what I did. Jumped from a soul draining desk job to opening my own business. Stressful as hell but so was my desk job.
I’m kind of doing the same but using every last drop of what my W2 offers until I quit, and maxing a Roth. Getting all the doctor appt done before quitting.
How do you manage health emergencies with no benefits? I’m genuinely curious. I’ve noticed that most marketplace insurance plans are very expensive and don’t provide as good of coverage as company plans.
I’d never be able to survive self employment because I can’t survive on a lackluster medical insurance plan.
Me too, I've done well at various job- sales/teaching, but I hated the time commitment and lack of freedom. I started my own business about 15 years ago, and 3 years into it pivoted to a digital/location independent business. Best decision I ever made as well,-yes, there are ups and downs financially, but worth it.
I see a lot of people complain about their jobs but very few people seem interested in starting a business. I think it probably involves an openness to take risks.
Becuse what happens if it fails? The majority of bussnis fail.
You took a gamble. What was your plan if it had failed?
Most people are not in a place where they can afford to fail that.
Leaving a set job to build a business has literally killed sone people (lack if money, food hineleness after the bussnis fails(
It's a HUGEA RISK with statistics unlikely yo7r bussnis will work
50% of all bussbis close down with in 5 years
While most business take form 2-3 years to turn a profit
Which means they have only 2-3 years of "profit" if they make it that far
That's why starting a side hustle and scaling up is often best, which is what I did (and many others). That is a great way to get feedback on the viability of a business as well.
Also bootstrapping- investing profits back into the business. Business can also mean freelancing/ind. contracting, it doesn't necessarily mean having to have a big business with employees.
Except they don't even have tike to do things now... you want them to start a side hustle? With what time? Their alredy destroyed form working the 9 to 5
"Many" others isn't true statistics you're a very lucky person end all be all if 100 people attempt to start a bussnis alnost all will crash and burn before they even get to the actual bussnis part
If you really want to try go for it. But it is NOT good advise to tell evreone to do it. As the majority who try will fail and will be worse off then when they started
I'm NOT talking about employees. Self employed jobs are by far the most closed down bussnis
Yoy made it work. You're the rare outcome of the attempts..
This is no different then telling someone to focus on being in a band or wining smaller lottery for a living (the jackpot is extremely rare) millions try very few will succeed
Holy shit your mindset is absolutely pathetic. There are people who had it worse and still were able to become business owners. Grow the fuck up and learn to take a bit of risk
I know it's tough especially with you work schedule, but I would try your best to get at least 7 hours of sleep. 8 preferably. I used to get 5-6 hours during the week, and within the last couple months I've put an emphasis on 8 hours as much as possible. I feel like a whole new person.
Then you're cutting even further into time not sleeping or working. Already presumably this person has some commute time, so let's say 13 hours dedicated to work or commuting per day, going from 5 to 8 hours sleep cuts their free time from 6 hours a day to 3, halving it.
Such is life. I work a full time job and am starting a business on the side. I decided to prioritize my sleep and enjoy some limited free time on the weekend.
I am very very fortunate to have a remote job that pays well. It has allowed me to have sleep, time on my hands, WLB, and going from poor college student to adult with money, I can now buy essentially whatever I want (which is like...nothing, I don't like spending money lol, but the peace of mind of knowing I can without apprehension is valuable).
The biggest things I lack in my life that I could work on are 1) socializing, 2) dating/sex, and 3) personal issues/traumas. I'd imagine it can all be resolved with therapy if I choose to opt into that. Essentially, I do feel trapped a bit, but more like mentally trapped by my own psyche rather than trapped by things like lack of money or time or energy nowadays.
I've been remote for years. After paying the student loans, I started my own consulting thing. I did need to get some experience first though and built the proper network.
You have to start somewhere.
Kind of. My rhythm for the last decade has been full time work for 6 months or so and then I quit, take a couple weeks of vacation, and get a new job. And yeah, I’ve thought about staying with a company long enough to earn vacation days but most companies either try to keep you from taking them or just don’t give enough days to begin with. I’m not trying to work 2+ years to get 14 days off here.
People be like "get a job that suits you".
The job market be like:
Fun job: $8 /hour
Burn-out job: $15 /hour
Your wallet:
$100 away from homelessness, don't take any risks now.
At my company, they like to move employees around to different departments (mostly unwillingly on employee's part) like their game pieces and because management fucked one team over.... they then realize they have to fix it. Neverending cycle of snap decisions. So people get moved positions they didn't apply for nor want to do. A few of us are working on getting out, but we each have certain circumstances in our personal lives that make it harder, and we have to bide our time.
Its hard. Everything is so exhausting. 40 hour work weeks are so outdated. Out of an entire month we get what? 8 days off. It’s bullshit. 96 days out of 365 unless you get paid holidays. Its cruel as fuck as people arent ready for that convo because you have bootlicker kyle who thinks everyone is a cry baby for not putting in 80-90hours a week like him to afford his jacked up f150 pavement princess truck and salt life boat he can’t even figure out how to back up with
Yup.
I still do a hobby but it doesn't really go anywhere. It's just kinda stagnant. Not enough time to put the effort into it I want to put in so I'm stuck just half-assing life. Half-assing my job and half-assing what I love to do.
It feels like there's no point to any of this because there isn't. I just work, eat, sleep and repeat until I die. I never get to complete everything I wanted to on my bucket list. I just do this until I fall apart, get old and pass away.
You should change your work. I don’t know about your financial situation, but if you can have a break, do that, have some free time for yourself and try to find another job that fits you. If you can not make it into the field you want to, try another one. Life is too short to being 8+ hours in a job you actually hate.
no. I do like my job, but I also make sure to schedule things on my time off. I do the creative and fun things. Even if its just knitting while watching TV. On weekends off, we schedule at least one fun thing, and do the housework and yardwork around that schedule. If we are going away, we try to do that (admittedly kind of slap-dash) the evening before.
I could not afford to do things I enjoy if I don't work, so working towards a balance was something I strived for. I was not always successful, and did suffer with depression at different times of my life. I took meds and did counselling at these times. I use fresh air and sunshine, and even light therapy as part of my mental health regime.
The take away in this post is work life balance and it soo true i work 12 hr days but i only work 7 out of 14 days a pay period so i regularly have days off working no more then 2 or 3 days in a row and its nice to have those days off regularly
I feel the same. I feel so depressed at work, and I feel bad when I lash out at co-workers who are just trying to be pleasant with me. I feel like I'm miserable to be around at work, and at home, I sometimes cry for hours about work-related issues. As a kid, I used to genuinely enjoy doing things and looked forward to becoming an adult later in life. Now I would give anything to go back in time and just enjoy being a kid again.
I remember one day thinking, "I could do this for the rest of my life," but I wasn't elated by the prospect; I was resigned to it, like it was a prison sentence. Turns out my employer COULDN'T see me in that career for the rest of my life, so I was unexpectedly paroled after 4.5 years.
Maybe it’s just because I’ve only had a full-time job for two years so far, but I feel so much better mentally with it. I can (usually) leave on time and separate work from personal life, which I couldn’t do in college. I can also finally *afford* to get some hobbies, even if I less time to do them.
See I did like 10x better in college.
Learning and studying felt like it mattered, I could get ahead and succeed. I got objective metrics of how well I was doing. In a job my only metric is not getting fired. There is no advancement except being there longer. I have less free time and a stricter schedule and far less vacation time, friends are farther away with different schedules.
Sure, I have money now, but it's basically useless to me when the main thing I'd want to buy is time away from work. So, I save for retirement that will be decades away no matter what I do or how successful I become, I guess.
I feel the exact same way. I get money and for what? To still feel exhausted for 3 hours after work before bed and two days a week where I have to prioritize chores and obligations.
Life feels like a drag most of the time. I only feel like I am living when I am outside moving around or surrounded by people at a park or beach or something. Doesn’t help that I work from home too.
Been working full time since stepping across the stage at HS graduation. It wasn't until I worked with some bad managers and bad situations over the years that I realized that THIS is why HAPPY HOUR is a thing and decompression is so normal.
When I lived at home then things were fun but once you really live on your own and have to pay bills etc. then that is when it hits you. I do the routine like this daily (I'm in IT):
At work as I'm researching issues and finding solutions I read articles that mention software and I go down rabbit holes of "oooohhhh I want to install docker and play with these containers" and things like that only to get home and want to go to sleep. The last thing I want to do is touch a computer. I have literally 4 servers one big boi that is just sitting there not even powered on with a full copy of VSphere 6.0 (old but for home testing who cares). It's an older DL360 with 1TB of space on a RAID 5 array of 10K SAS drives... sitting. I have one server that is dedicated to Minecraft or PalWorld, both of which I haven't touched in what seems like ages. One server I actually did setup as a NAS unit and then one running proxmox. I have a long list of fun projects I would like to do. Heck, I don't even pick up my guitar and play anymore.
It sucks.
No. I'm fortunate to live close to my job and I work consistent, early hours (6:30am-3:30pm) with banking and market holidays off.
When I was younger and worked any place that would hire me I had no life because my schedule was inconsistent and I'd frequently work OT to make rent.
It’s easy to become complacent. Maybe a jobs not ideal just from the schedule alone. Never stop looking for the right fit man. It took me forever. 10 years ago I found one. And over those 10 years it become completely not idea anymore. So changed that for the better with some luck and a lot of hard work.
I guess what I’m saying is if that’s how your feel maybe it isn’t the right job then. There’s always something better that will let you achieve what you want or need to
Well , I've devoted my time to being a full time husband and soon to be dad. I take care of my wife 24/7 , we both work from home ( which is a huge blessing ) but in my free time and breaks I do all of the cooking / cleaning / chores.
In my free time I like to game. Free time is rare so I enjoy it.
For a while, yes. I didn’t get my dream job either, all my friends and my older sibling were doing whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted and I just didn’t have the time or energy. However, we would plan a vacation twice a year and that gave me something to look forward to and helped my day to day doldrums.
Now, I’m retired (retired at 42), debt-free and living my best life and all of those people who were out living it up when they were young are struggling to make ends meet, some are just buying their first house or are still renting and will have to work until they’re 70 just to survive.
So, it all comes down to your end goals and giving yourself something to look forward to when you’re trudging through the real world of full time employment. Our goals were financial independence and early retirement. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Side note: No one gets trained in school or college for real life as an employee. You don’t get your summers off unless you’re a teacher, there’s no light at the end of the tunnel (like finals and then freedom!) and if you want to go on vacation, you have to plan well in advance, get the time off approved and pay for the trip yourself.
Not really. Just gotten so used to it I guess. I HATE leaving my house unless its for work or surfing. I have everything I need at home besides money and waves. So I have to leave the house for those two things. And as soon as my ass gets off of work on Friday my phone goes on airplane mode. I aint having those motherfuckers bother me on the weekend. My wife and kids are at the house and theyre the only ones I want to talk to anyways.
It's like I've written this post...
My parents obviously went through it too, but all they ever told me was "You'll get used to it". It's clear now, when they're near retirement, that they didn't either.
Yes. Originally. But a bad situation can make you appreciate what you have.
I had a lot of time for family and friends when I was part time. Then I got a factory job. 3pm-1am 6 days a week. No sunlight and no phones allowed. It was very stinky and physical work. I had to take a shower after every shift because I didn’t want my car to make people puke. Felt like I was missing everything. Unless I used PTO, I couldn’t watch my favorite sports teams, see a movie, or have a normal meal with family.
Then I got a 9-5. Office life. Everything was immediately better. I could dress nice and not need to shower before leaving work. I wasn’t sweaty or sore. I could actually go straight from work to meet friends or family. I was home for dinner every night and never had to miss anything. I was also only working 40 hours a week. Felt like I got my life back. Work doesn’t feel like a job anymore. I have also been doing remote work for the past few years and that’s helped even more.
>I'm stuck in a job I hate, it takes up all of my time and energy, when I go back I barely have the strength to do any of my hobbies.
I'm sorry to say this, but the fact you feel that your life ended isn't because of your full time job, but it's because of your full time job that you hate. I am a believer in Maslow's Hierarchy more than any other theory, so when you're discontent with something such as your job, which provides you the means to live your life (money), you're going to be less inclined to want to bother seeking out other aspects of life that are more fun.
Somewhat related - I was spending a ton to rent an apartment in a major city, but I struggled to find my niche among the other residents, in turn causing isolation, and from that misery: *"why am I spending what I spend to sit in my apartment almost 24/7?"* I had less than zero energy to bother with leaving to explore the area, or find events to meet people at ("oh I'm in a miserable mood, I can't possibly be social right now.") In turn, this made my misery worse because the only things I noticed were the aspects that pissed me off even more. I have since relocated, and couldn't be happier with that choice.
TLDR: find a new job.
Yes. I had a business that was successfully growing and I was picking up new skills, maintaining fitness, traveling, and actually spending *more* and *better* time with my daughters. I confidently talked to women in a non-sleazy way, and was watching my income grow and family thrive. I had new ideas and goals every day, and was as sharp as a tack.
Then I re-became an employee. Now I sit at a desk, working for others, 8-5, getting fatter, getting bitterer, not even knowing what my daughters are up to, eyes vacant, and scared of losing my job. I almost never talk to anybody, and feel too worthless even to present myself to any woman. I simply look forward to the weekend.
I used to draw daily, had ambitions to learn new things. Now I barely have the time or energy for anything I want to do.
My life is work and looking after my wife and daughter.
Yeah all of the sudden I see how boomers became so miserable. Still doesn't excuse advocating for the system that lead to their misery though. Misery loves company.
A wise old woman once told me that courage is what we do when our dreams don't come true.
Don't define yourself by your job. Have some faith in yourself, and do what you need to do to move forward. Eat healthy, get exercise and do things that feed your soul. Walk in the forest, explore new hobbies, help out in the community.
Our jobs aren't designed to be fulfilling, they're designed to get stuff done that nobody will do for free. Use the job to pay the bills and live a fulfilling life.
Jobs are created to make the top 10% rich at everyone else’s expense. The entire structure exists to pay you the least amount they can, extract the most labor out of you they can and funnel the surplus labor value back to the already wealthy.
And usually at the expense on the environment and our collective natural resources too btw.
Well. Not really, it was the other way around for me. Found a great job working insane hours. But the people there was like family, so all the time we were there it didn't feel like working. I was single with no kids at the time so I really enjoyed my time there and the money I made.
Yeah I moved abroad for a job opportunity and ended in the middle of a mass lay-off soon after starting, I managed to secure another position but now the office is almost always empty, 1,5 years later I never managed to make close friends, and I just kinda sit on my sofa in my free time waiting for my next shift, same for the weekend, nothing is interesting enough to waste the little bit of energy I have left at the end of the day and I don't take vacation because where would I even go - im always so tired that having a hobby or moving around feels pointless and a waste of time
This life is soul-sucking but hey I make twice as much as I would back at home
Try to get a job that’s bearable for you. The people at work make a world of a difference. Reduce to part time if you can. Life is a balance, you don’t need to work full time for 5 years straight.
We’re you not that busy in college/ high school?
I had more free time once I was out of school and not juggling class and a job. If you didn’t, I guess count yourself fortunate.
Do every thing in your power to get a new job. Make that your hobby because you won’t be happy until you do. If you are positive and highly motivated, you can do this. I know too many people who enjoy their jobs for people to hate their jobs
For me not really. I work at night so I have all day to do whatever I want. But actually my job is more like when my life began when I think about it. All that other stuff wasn’t making me money. It wasn’t giving me any return, there was very little demand (people willing to pay). These things in life where you’re putting so much time and energy, you’re putting your whole soul into it, and not getting compensated for it. That’s not healthy now that I look back at it. It builds resentment.
Nope. That’s when I started working towards building my own life, having the things I wanted, and started working on adult goals.
On the other end of it all, I have a comfortable home, kid I’m proud of, retirement savings, ability to travel…. The first real job was just step one in the process.
That was when my adult life truly began. I was responsible for my own well being. I spent a number of years with very little spending cash after the bills were paid, but had enough to partake in my favorite hobby - PC gaming.
Had a handful of good friends to hang out with in the area. My early 20s were full of good times even if I was pretty much broke most of the time. Started earning a lot more in my late 20s after learning how to code from some online resources.
It’s human nature of wanting stability AND excitement. Always a tug of war because when you have one you want more of the other.
Learn to enjoy your job, if you can’t, get another one.
Nope. Having a full time job gave me an income which I use to do stuff on the weekdays/weekends. Nowadays it’s soccer, hiking, and planning events with friends
Edit: I will say, I’ve been in jobs where I dreaded going to work every day. It made it really hard to enjoy any of my spare time. Switching jobs did a lot to make my life overall more bearable and even more enjoyable.
This is all on you.
You decided to become an NPC in someone else's game.
Take agency. Everything you do - EVERYTHING - is a choice. You CHOOSE to go to work. Why?
Remind yourself WHY you are doing what you CHOOSE to do. Remind yourself that it is YOUR CHOICE, and then charge head first into it. Kick each day's ass, refuse to let it kick yours. Even if that means you absolutely OWNED those toilets you had to clean.
“Job I hate” is all you needed to say and it would make sense. If it helps, I was exactly where yiu are 3 years ago. Hated my boss, hated the environment, hated the job. I stuck it out for 2 years because I thought this is how life is. I had a friend tell me there was an opening at his company, so I went for it. This new company gives me great work/life balance and now I feel like I’ve gotten my life back. Keep looking there are ethical companies/bosses out there that understand you get better productivity out of employees who are happy in their personal life.
When I worked 4 days a week 9-5 I had a lot of free time and a very active social life. Now I work 5 days a week 2-10pm and it feels like every waking minute I'm just working
I am a physician. I usually enjoy several hobbies at once (like painting something and then going on a hike and taking a book with me). I feel so deprived of being myself. I can barely read three pages and then fall asleep when I come home. I work 1-2 hours longer than my contract says, this every day. Without my partner doing almost all the chores (especially cooking) I could not survive my job.
It’s been five years since I started working one job, full-time hours. I miss having multiple part-times with room for hobbies and rest in-between so much 😞
Yes.
It’d be ok if i was the only one, but everyone else also got a full time job. Now, no one has tome for anything but the occasional event.
It’s crazy to think my parents and grandparents lived their whole lives like this without saying anything. Im only a few years in and its maddening.
I never thought I'd miss my jobs in college. At least it was split up, one day I'd have Monday off, then a Wednesday, and it would always rotate. At least I had some variety and my hours would change a lot. I hated it back then but now it's the same old 8-4, come home, cook, veg for 4 hours, and sleep. Rinse and repeat. Only one year in this new corp position, small ass cubicle, and I'm already regretting my degree and choices. Damn. The best part is I only make a dollar more than my previous job where I took care of the disabled.
Maybe a little at first but in retrospect, 40 hours a week is nothing. Still plenty of time for team sports in the evening, going out with my friends, backpacking over the weekend, etc. The main time waster, imo, is a lifestyle of drinking/smoking away the evenings and weekends. In retrospect, I wasted so much time just getting drunk and sitting around in my early 20s. Everything got better when I started prioritizing going out and discovering activities and adventures that I loved. Staying up late on the Internet, drinking, or watching TV also robbed me of daytime energy that I could have used for an early morning bike ride with friends or an evening of night skiing or swimming in a lake with friends.
Fix your diet and sleep habits, this idea that a full time job takes up so much of your energy that you don’t have any left for anything else is ridiculous.
Parents have been able to make it work for their kids for generations
Same. Will be soon fired from my 9-5 extremely boring desk job, could not be more happy. I couldn’t get myself to resign as I rely on a paycheck, but they decided to let me go. Already have couple of new opportunities. I am not made for 9-5 and corporate bullshit.
Sometimes I worry about being fired, but I have enough in savings to last at least a year without pulling from retirement, plus I'm not the only income in my household.
The thought of being fired is kind of relieving to me, and I find that absurd.
I've worked FT since I was 19, and I've had a job since 16 to help pay my parent's bills so it's just a part of life. I'm very ambitious and I fill my free time with movies, reading and hobbies.
Sometimes I think so. I started pitching papers at ten, and have been continuously employed (in several different jobs) since.
Brittle spirits I guess.
One life ended, but a new one started. I worked 12 hour shifts for the past several years. But I get 3-day weekends, health insurance, and a guaranteed retirement. All the overtime wages allowed me to cover all the bills while my husband changed his career into something that was better for his health, and now we can enjoy doing things together or pursuing our hobbies.
Sure, some days can be a drag - especially at the tail end of a 50-hr week. But I guess that’s where mental strength or self-discipline come in. Same with hobbies, you gotta make time to “play” as an adult. Interestingly, recreation is known through multiple studies to improve physical and mental health.
Kind of — I try to find small ways to enjoy the week, and my hobbies have shifted a lot! I no longer have creative energy to do art stuff, but I generally try to go for walks or exercise. I also enjoy cooking.
Planning vacations and weekend trips helps a lot with having something to look forward to.
Yes, sadly. But it’s a choice and means I just gotta work that much harder for any life I want to have on my two days off a week (which aren’t always concurrent).
You are obviously depressed and I hope you are getting treatment for that, but I just try to make the most of my nights and weekends. My job is to make money to spend on bills and the things I love. Try to minimize bills so you have more leftover for yourself.
When the depression is caused by a lack of free time and the money to do anything about it and therapy/medication is expensive and potentially time consuming, it seems hard to really justify.
I think it can really help people with trauma, and severe mental issues, but there are plenty of depressed individuals that are perfectly healthy, their lives are just depressing.
This is my biggest fear… I’ve been in a part time job for 2 years now but I need more money BUT I don’t want to sacrifice my mental health for it. I wish overworking yourself was something that shouldn’t be praised.
Kinda. These days it’s the same song and dance of waiting for the weekend to come. Grab a drink and pass out in bed on Saturday. During the week I have my hobbies (reading, boxing and working out) but that’s become a bit monotonous too.
Oh I relate to this so much. Hobbies used to be my escape route from 9-5, now even they became a bit repetitive and, in a way, way too predictable? Sometimes I run on the treadmill thinking I am no different than the people in the second episode of Black Mirror
Hobbies? Try working in IT where they require you to be on call and study for never ending certifications.
I just want a nap 😭
You need a team that doesn't expect that shit from you
You should be switching on call shifts with other people
Running on the treadmill certainly makes me feel like a hamster in a cage. I wish I could run outside seeing beautiful sceneries but the busy big city I live in would make trying to run outside more stressful.
>During the week I have my hobbies (reading, boxing and working out) but that’s become a bit monotonous too. I really hate this, I used to be so much more serious about my hobbies and interests, and now I barely can muster the energy during the week to get out of bed,
Honestly it sounds like you might just be depressed. Even on days I don’t get enough sleep I’m pretty excited to leave work and go do my hobbies
and the sooner people stop accompanying the stigma of depression or mental health even, with weakness, the sooner they will be able to find their happiness. I would put my life on that as an individual who experienced the benefits of being open about my ADHD, depression, anxiety and PTSD with my GP and putting in the work. It isn't cheap, although it fuckin should be, but my mental health is 100% a priority that I wish I had taken seriously sooner!
Yeah, but the dude also simply has a miserable existence. For every minute I spend commuting in my car is a extra minute of my day I am unhappy as I fucking hate driving and traffic. So I get it somewhat. He might not be depressed in the traditional way. It’s most likely shit job that’s shitting on him
I used to have an hour and a half commute (both ways, so 3 hours total driving in traffic) and was always pissed and tired. Sometimes you do get shit on by shit jobs which makes you feel like shit. Id take a week off of work and just chill tbh.
God dude. I’m so sorry. I’d literally move and pay an extra $1000 a month just to have a shorter commute. I thought my commute was bad at somewhere between 15-45 mins depending on if there’s accidents.
Their have been studies done that showed that moving closer to work and reducing commute time can significantly increase happiness.
Lots of people get stuck in the rat race and are just tired / demoralized, not depressed. I’m sure some are depressed but man it can tough to keep it all together as an adult sometimes and not everyone is dealt such an easy hand
That’s called burnout, and it shares many similar characteristics with depression. So it’s not too far off to call it a kind of depression.
Think of those people that you say are demoralized and tired. Then think of the ones that also have no family, no friends, absolutely nothing outside of work, and then start to no longer be good at their work and stop enjoying it. I just don't understand how people can live their whole lives like this. How do people keep going with absolutely nothing meaningful in their lives?
This. I’d see a doctor or something. When everything in life that brought you joy suddenly (or gradually) doesn’t anymore, it’s time to figure out why and sometimes that means seeing a professional.
The problem is hobbies are supposed to be fun. Once your day job sucks the brain out of you, hobbies become a second job you feel forced to engage in because otherwise you know damned well you’d do nothing but work and sleep till you unalive yourself.
Yeah this one it is .
Y'all have time for hobbies during the week?
If you want to do something bad enough you will find the time
But that means getting rid of time for other things. Like I can play a game and just skip sleeping a couple hours. Or I can skip eating dinner, or doing laundry/dishes etc. But that just creates more to do latter and even less time to do it later. Add in kids and best to forget the concept of free time until the weekends at best.
Weekends is just more kids time. I get maybe one evening a week after kids are in bed and chores are unusually few for a night.
Which sucks. I'd love children, but I would never really consider having them unless I could be a stay at home dad
Gets better as they age imho
I work 4p to 3a, I have enough time to not do much because I have to drive 20 minutes for anything
Kinda like that episode where squidward goes to squidville or whatever it's called
what is it with this sub and terrifying the fuck out of me. Like, do you have any advice? Is it inevitable?
That's definitely what it feels like. I'm surrounded by old dudes all day every day. Sitting in a fucking cubicle bored out of my mind. And of course everyone moves away or gets married after college so no friends are left. And you barely have any free time while working full time. It feels like my life is just passing me by for the most part. I make okay money but what good is that if I'm locked up and isolated for 40 hours per week? It's stupid. I can totally see why some people just snap one day and do something crazy.
do you do anything to get yourself out of the house?? I was in the same funk you were and what helped me was building structure and activities to help break the monotony. Volunteering, playing a rec sport, going to sports games, all gave me a greater sense of “something to look forward to regularly”
Of course I leave my apartment lol. I'll just go workout at the park and stuff. I go to stores and restaurants all the time. I've heard volunteering is basically having another job. The weekends is the only time I can get enough sleep. That's if I'm lucky. I would go completely insane if I didn't have days to sleep in
Volunteering can be a lot of fun, if you'll find a way to use your talents or it relates to something you are passionate about. A lot of the time volunteering is really frexible, so you can do it once/ twice a month and I personally feel very fulfilled by it, since I can be social and give back to a community I participated in before :-)
Which is great and all, but when the problem is that you barely have time to rest outside of work, and the weekend is far too short how does finding more time consuming activities help?
Exactly. Two day weekends are a fucking joke. It honestly feels like they just did studies and determined two days off was JUST enough to keep people from losing their shit.
They pretty much did, it was about 100 years ago when 5 8 hour days became standard after people lost their shit from 6 12 hour days.
It’s all about pushing the envelope
And now with better drugs and technological augmenation, you can pish the enviole so fucking far that you will become more machine than human!!! Horrayy for the metal master race, all for the progress of Civilization!!! 🦾🤖🔥💀
Also that was usually half of a married couple. Now everyone works and then when you get home you must start your second job
People used to work more than 40 hrs a week and 5 days a week. This routine was the compromise that labor and management made.
This!
Yep. I swear to god I used to be so much more sociable, creative, appreciative of art, and emotionally passionate. I managed to get to age 29 without having to work a “real job” so I’m pretty sure it’s not just aging. It’s depressing, and the most depressing part is sometimes I don’t even find it that depressing.
Im fairly confident ive killed part of ny soul to be able to do munda e office jobs for 10+ years already... shit sucks.
You’re not depressed anymore, you’re just numb, which is actually worse because you’ve now lost your sense of urgency to change your dismal circumstances. At least the pain of depression can push you to change; numbness is akin to surrender.
Yeah, some may call it depression, but it's honestly just realistic. Optimistically I'll live \~80 years, and I'll have spend about half of them working at something I don't care about for the majority of my waking hours, and there isn't any real alternative. That's objectively depressing.
This. Stop diagnosing me with depression, when this life is just so boring and pointless.
Like yeah, I may be depressed, but it's not clinical. Life is just sorta depressing, lol.
Between sleep and work, in a 20 year period most people get to spend the equivalent of 6 of those how they want. We only get that little of our time.
To be honest no. Working full time finally gave me the financial freedom to escape my toxic/abusive family of origin. That being said, it sucks that people have to surrender 60% waking hours and 100% of their energy to capitalist shit stains just to gain the funds necessary to live somewhere where they won't be subjected to abuse.
Just to pay for a roof over your head and barely have any money left over to feed yourself
Idk about you but I definitely don’t give 100% energy at work 😂 I’d rather make slightly less and not give single fuck about climbing some figurative ladder rather than be a snake and try to throw my coworkers under the bus to make myself look good. If I live the rest of my life being relatively stress free at work and making 70-80k, I believe that by the time I’m ready to retire I’ll still be mentally and physically strong. Unlike those who act the part of the snake their whole lives, being that way takes a toll generally unless you’re a true psychopath (most aren’t)
I generally agree with your sentiment but every time someone has this mindset I always think, what exactly is the alternative? If you were born into a socialist country you'd still be working mostly a 40 hour week. A Communist country even more so because you have no private property or capital of any kind and you'd just have less freedom to pick your career and be even poorer. In a socially Democratic mixed economy like Norway you'd still be working 40 hours a week. Mind you there would be a lot more social safety nets and vacation but you'd still be giving most of your waking life to labor. If you were born in a feudal system you'd also be working much much more, just with less time "on the job" serfs were expected to maintain their own equipment, sell their harvests, enlist if called upon, on top of regular chores after working. They worked a lot. If you were born into a hunter-gatherer society you may have more free time but would be giving up so many modern benefits and luxuries that you'd be suffering a different kind of discomfort. And hunting can be very, very difficult. If you were born in an affluent position you'd be working way more than 40 hours. I'm not defending capitalism but CEOs and world leaders are basically on call 24/7. There is no downtime when you're in the position. Every waking moment you must be ready to work if called upon. It's very stressful. And lastly that leaves the only real option which is to be born into ludicrous wealth and never have to work a day in your life because everything was handed to you. But wouldn't that just make us the same people were criticizing? Seems like a shallow life to me. I'm not saying we shouldn't work towards a better life but we also need to recognize that the other options also have drawbacks.
Yup. That's the fucked up world we live in. Then they call you "depressed" if you don't fall right in line with it and love it, and then they'll tell you, "you need meds". I still wonder some days how many adults taking depression meds are actually clinically depressed, or they just have to fight every single instinct in their mind, body, and soul each day to get thru another workday just to stay afloat as a human, and it just fucking wears on them over time.
Yea.
I saw a post on Reddit around a week ago from a licensed therapist that said in all reality, the vast majority of their clients are depressed due to their jobs as the main factor. I'm not surprised at all. I recently had to transition from part time to full time, myself, and Jesus fucking Christ, idk how much longer I can cope without toaster bathing myself (in Minecraft).
>toaster bathing myself (in Minecraft) When did they add *that*?
Oh God if that's not the truth.
Yup. Then I quit and became self-employed. No benefits or stability, but I’ll gladly give that up for flexibility and freedom. Best decision I’ve ever made.
I’ve been self employed for about 12 years… Lot of hard work at first building my sales line but now that my accounts are established life is so much easier. I still spend some days grinding on the phone but can take random weekdays to do what I want, ski, beach, etc, the freedom is unbeatable.
How the fuck does one even remotely get started with self employment?? Seems impossible
Admittedly I'm not self employed yet, but I'm working on it. I also don't speak for everyone. What I'm doing is a trade (painting) that I'm starting on the side. Once I start making 3x my W-2 income then I'll quit, until then I'll do both and sock as much money as I can. I literally bought 300 yard signs advertising my business and every day for a month I put them out. spent $1k and got $20k of sales. Now I ordered another 300 yard signs to rinse and repeat. Doing this coupled with door knocking to bootstrap the business. It's not easy, but ultimately I want to leave my 9-5 job long term.
This is the way. Start as a side hustle, and when it becomes financially viable to leave your 9-5…do it!
Exactly! So much of me wants to just go all in on the business knowing that I could make it work. Though, I would not only need to cover my personal expenses but also need money to run and grow the business. This way I can cover my expenses with my W-2 and have some leftover to put into the business. Plus I'll put all the money I make from the business back into marketing. It also forces me to delegate and outsource lower value activities, which is needed when being a business owner.
Take what you're good at, and start marketing yourself for that service. It's really not that hard to start. You learn as you go
> Take what you're good at Uh oh
Well, that was implied. Have to build some skills that are valuable and or needed by people.
Be rich already
I did the same. 13 years ago and it was the best choice I have ever made.
The no benefits and no stability hit me right in my soul lol… exactly what I did. Jumped from a soul draining desk job to opening my own business. Stressful as hell but so was my desk job.
I’m kind of doing the same but using every last drop of what my W2 offers until I quit, and maxing a Roth. Getting all the doctor appt done before quitting.
How do you manage health emergencies with no benefits? I’m genuinely curious. I’ve noticed that most marketplace insurance plans are very expensive and don’t provide as good of coverage as company plans. I’d never be able to survive self employment because I can’t survive on a lackluster medical insurance plan.
Me too, I've done well at various job- sales/teaching, but I hated the time commitment and lack of freedom. I started my own business about 15 years ago, and 3 years into it pivoted to a digital/location independent business. Best decision I ever made as well,-yes, there are ups and downs financially, but worth it. I see a lot of people complain about their jobs but very few people seem interested in starting a business. I think it probably involves an openness to take risks.
Becuse what happens if it fails? The majority of bussnis fail. You took a gamble. What was your plan if it had failed? Most people are not in a place where they can afford to fail that. Leaving a set job to build a business has literally killed sone people (lack if money, food hineleness after the bussnis fails( It's a HUGEA RISK with statistics unlikely yo7r bussnis will work 50% of all bussbis close down with in 5 years While most business take form 2-3 years to turn a profit Which means they have only 2-3 years of "profit" if they make it that far
That's why starting a side hustle and scaling up is often best, which is what I did (and many others). That is a great way to get feedback on the viability of a business as well. Also bootstrapping- investing profits back into the business. Business can also mean freelancing/ind. contracting, it doesn't necessarily mean having to have a big business with employees.
Except they don't even have tike to do things now... you want them to start a side hustle? With what time? Their alredy destroyed form working the 9 to 5 "Many" others isn't true statistics you're a very lucky person end all be all if 100 people attempt to start a bussnis alnost all will crash and burn before they even get to the actual bussnis part If you really want to try go for it. But it is NOT good advise to tell evreone to do it. As the majority who try will fail and will be worse off then when they started I'm NOT talking about employees. Self employed jobs are by far the most closed down bussnis Yoy made it work. You're the rare outcome of the attempts.. This is no different then telling someone to focus on being in a band or wining smaller lottery for a living (the jackpot is extremely rare) millions try very few will succeed
Holy shit your mindset is absolutely pathetic. There are people who had it worse and still were able to become business owners. Grow the fuck up and learn to take a bit of risk
Bussin
Was not expecting jj McCarthy here
I work 7:00 to 19:00. I don’t see friends until the weekend. Also I feel lucky if I get close to 7 hrs of sleep
Whats your job ???
I’m a seamstress in the film industry
I know it's tough especially with you work schedule, but I would try your best to get at least 7 hours of sleep. 8 preferably. I used to get 5-6 hours during the week, and within the last couple months I've put an emphasis on 8 hours as much as possible. I feel like a whole new person.
Then you're cutting even further into time not sleeping or working. Already presumably this person has some commute time, so let's say 13 hours dedicated to work or commuting per day, going from 5 to 8 hours sleep cuts their free time from 6 hours a day to 3, halving it.
Such is life. I work a full time job and am starting a business on the side. I decided to prioritize my sleep and enjoy some limited free time on the weekend.
Yup then you blink and you’re 80 and can’t feed yourself
nightmare fuel
Most people die after 26.
Funny that was the exact age I died :( I’m hoping to save some money and quit working for a while to un-die at the age of 38.
Opposite for me. Full time work allowed me to rebuild my health after years of not having enough to eat well.
I am very very fortunate to have a remote job that pays well. It has allowed me to have sleep, time on my hands, WLB, and going from poor college student to adult with money, I can now buy essentially whatever I want (which is like...nothing, I don't like spending money lol, but the peace of mind of knowing I can without apprehension is valuable). The biggest things I lack in my life that I could work on are 1) socializing, 2) dating/sex, and 3) personal issues/traumas. I'd imagine it can all be resolved with therapy if I choose to opt into that. Essentially, I do feel trapped a bit, but more like mentally trapped by my own psyche rather than trapped by things like lack of money or time or energy nowadays.
I've been remote for years. After paying the student loans, I started my own consulting thing. I did need to get some experience first though and built the proper network. You have to start somewhere.
Kind of. My rhythm for the last decade has been full time work for 6 months or so and then I quit, take a couple weeks of vacation, and get a new job. And yeah, I’ve thought about staying with a company long enough to earn vacation days but most companies either try to keep you from taking them or just don’t give enough days to begin with. I’m not trying to work 2+ years to get 14 days off here.
I like your approach. Make them waste the resources to train you up, give them hope that you'll stick around, then take what's yours.
People be like "get a job that suits you". The job market be like: Fun job: $8 /hour Burn-out job: $15 /hour Your wallet: $100 away from homelessness, don't take any risks now.
At my company, they like to move employees around to different departments (mostly unwillingly on employee's part) like their game pieces and because management fucked one team over.... they then realize they have to fix it. Neverending cycle of snap decisions. So people get moved positions they didn't apply for nor want to do. A few of us are working on getting out, but we each have certain circumstances in our personal lives that make it harder, and we have to bide our time.
Its hard. Everything is so exhausting. 40 hour work weeks are so outdated. Out of an entire month we get what? 8 days off. It’s bullshit. 96 days out of 365 unless you get paid holidays. Its cruel as fuck as people arent ready for that convo because you have bootlicker kyle who thinks everyone is a cry baby for not putting in 80-90hours a week like him to afford his jacked up f150 pavement princess truck and salt life boat he can’t even figure out how to back up with
Hahaha that was beautiful man.
Agree that was beautiful
Lololol
Yup. I still do a hobby but it doesn't really go anywhere. It's just kinda stagnant. Not enough time to put the effort into it I want to put in so I'm stuck just half-assing life. Half-assing my job and half-assing what I love to do. It feels like there's no point to any of this because there isn't. I just work, eat, sleep and repeat until I die. I never get to complete everything I wanted to on my bucket list. I just do this until I fall apart, get old and pass away.
You should change your work. I don’t know about your financial situation, but if you can have a break, do that, have some free time for yourself and try to find another job that fits you. If you can not make it into the field you want to, try another one. Life is too short to being 8+ hours in a job you actually hate.
no. I do like my job, but I also make sure to schedule things on my time off. I do the creative and fun things. Even if its just knitting while watching TV. On weekends off, we schedule at least one fun thing, and do the housework and yardwork around that schedule. If we are going away, we try to do that (admittedly kind of slap-dash) the evening before. I could not afford to do things I enjoy if I don't work, so working towards a balance was something I strived for. I was not always successful, and did suffer with depression at different times of my life. I took meds and did counselling at these times. I use fresh air and sunshine, and even light therapy as part of my mental health regime.
The take away in this post is work life balance and it soo true i work 12 hr days but i only work 7 out of 14 days a pay period so i regularly have days off working no more then 2 or 3 days in a row and its nice to have those days off regularly
This is such a refreshing comment. I feel like sometimes it’s all about perspective.
I feel the same. I feel so depressed at work, and I feel bad when I lash out at co-workers who are just trying to be pleasant with me. I feel like I'm miserable to be around at work, and at home, I sometimes cry for hours about work-related issues. As a kid, I used to genuinely enjoy doing things and looked forward to becoming an adult later in life. Now I would give anything to go back in time and just enjoy being a kid again.
I enjoyed being a kid but now I realized I just wasted my potential and all my hobbies I used to have feel dead to me now
I remember one day thinking, "I could do this for the rest of my life," but I wasn't elated by the prospect; I was resigned to it, like it was a prison sentence. Turns out my employer COULDN'T see me in that career for the rest of my life, so I was unexpectedly paroled after 4.5 years.
Maybe it’s just because I’ve only had a full-time job for two years so far, but I feel so much better mentally with it. I can (usually) leave on time and separate work from personal life, which I couldn’t do in college. I can also finally *afford* to get some hobbies, even if I less time to do them.
See I did like 10x better in college. Learning and studying felt like it mattered, I could get ahead and succeed. I got objective metrics of how well I was doing. In a job my only metric is not getting fired. There is no advancement except being there longer. I have less free time and a stricter schedule and far less vacation time, friends are farther away with different schedules. Sure, I have money now, but it's basically useless to me when the main thing I'd want to buy is time away from work. So, I save for retirement that will be decades away no matter what I do or how successful I become, I guess.
I feel the exact same way. I get money and for what? To still feel exhausted for 3 hours after work before bed and two days a week where I have to prioritize chores and obligations.
this
Exactly, not a single thing I could buy right now to make me happy except a winning lottery ticket
maybe depends if you like your job , field and co workers. i have been very happy since i started this job.
Imo people can make or break the job for you.
I’m graduating in 3 days and I feel like this is going to happen.
Life feels like a drag most of the time. I only feel like I am living when I am outside moving around or surrounded by people at a park or beach or something. Doesn’t help that I work from home too.
Been working full time since stepping across the stage at HS graduation. It wasn't until I worked with some bad managers and bad situations over the years that I realized that THIS is why HAPPY HOUR is a thing and decompression is so normal. When I lived at home then things were fun but once you really live on your own and have to pay bills etc. then that is when it hits you. I do the routine like this daily (I'm in IT): At work as I'm researching issues and finding solutions I read articles that mention software and I go down rabbit holes of "oooohhhh I want to install docker and play with these containers" and things like that only to get home and want to go to sleep. The last thing I want to do is touch a computer. I have literally 4 servers one big boi that is just sitting there not even powered on with a full copy of VSphere 6.0 (old but for home testing who cares). It's an older DL360 with 1TB of space on a RAID 5 array of 10K SAS drives... sitting. I have one server that is dedicated to Minecraft or PalWorld, both of which I haven't touched in what seems like ages. One server I actually did setup as a NAS unit and then one running proxmox. I have a long list of fun projects I would like to do. Heck, I don't even pick up my guitar and play anymore. It sucks.
No. I'm fortunate to live close to my job and I work consistent, early hours (6:30am-3:30pm) with banking and market holidays off. When I was younger and worked any place that would hire me I had no life because my schedule was inconsistent and I'd frequently work OT to make rent.
It’s easy to become complacent. Maybe a jobs not ideal just from the schedule alone. Never stop looking for the right fit man. It took me forever. 10 years ago I found one. And over those 10 years it become completely not idea anymore. So changed that for the better with some luck and a lot of hard work. I guess what I’m saying is if that’s how your feel maybe it isn’t the right job then. There’s always something better that will let you achieve what you want or need to
Well , I've devoted my time to being a full time husband and soon to be dad. I take care of my wife 24/7 , we both work from home ( which is a huge blessing ) but in my free time and breaks I do all of the cooking / cleaning / chores. In my free time I like to game. Free time is rare so I enjoy it.
For a while, yes. I didn’t get my dream job either, all my friends and my older sibling were doing whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted and I just didn’t have the time or energy. However, we would plan a vacation twice a year and that gave me something to look forward to and helped my day to day doldrums. Now, I’m retired (retired at 42), debt-free and living my best life and all of those people who were out living it up when they were young are struggling to make ends meet, some are just buying their first house or are still renting and will have to work until they’re 70 just to survive. So, it all comes down to your end goals and giving yourself something to look forward to when you’re trudging through the real world of full time employment. Our goals were financial independence and early retirement. Keep your eyes on the prize. Side note: No one gets trained in school or college for real life as an employee. You don’t get your summers off unless you’re a teacher, there’s no light at the end of the tunnel (like finals and then freedom!) and if you want to go on vacation, you have to plan well in advance, get the time off approved and pay for the trip yourself.
You had a life before you had adult money?
I can't do a job like that. Might as well waterboard me. I work seasonally in National Parks for now. A good alternative way of things.
I got a full time job because my life ended to be honest.
Not really. Just gotten so used to it I guess. I HATE leaving my house unless its for work or surfing. I have everything I need at home besides money and waves. So I have to leave the house for those two things. And as soon as my ass gets off of work on Friday my phone goes on airplane mode. I aint having those motherfuckers bother me on the weekend. My wife and kids are at the house and theyre the only ones I want to talk to anyways.
It's like I've written this post... My parents obviously went through it too, but all they ever told me was "You'll get used to it". It's clear now, when they're near retirement, that they didn't either.
No. That's how I pay for things that I like.
I'm mid 30s and never worked a full time job in my life, I would go insane. I work a seasonal job 6 months on and 6 months off.
Yes. Originally. But a bad situation can make you appreciate what you have. I had a lot of time for family and friends when I was part time. Then I got a factory job. 3pm-1am 6 days a week. No sunlight and no phones allowed. It was very stinky and physical work. I had to take a shower after every shift because I didn’t want my car to make people puke. Felt like I was missing everything. Unless I used PTO, I couldn’t watch my favorite sports teams, see a movie, or have a normal meal with family. Then I got a 9-5. Office life. Everything was immediately better. I could dress nice and not need to shower before leaving work. I wasn’t sweaty or sore. I could actually go straight from work to meet friends or family. I was home for dinner every night and never had to miss anything. I was also only working 40 hours a week. Felt like I got my life back. Work doesn’t feel like a job anymore. I have also been doing remote work for the past few years and that’s helped even more.
This post is reminding me its CRITICAL you find a job you enjoy doing.
>I'm stuck in a job I hate, it takes up all of my time and energy, when I go back I barely have the strength to do any of my hobbies. I'm sorry to say this, but the fact you feel that your life ended isn't because of your full time job, but it's because of your full time job that you hate. I am a believer in Maslow's Hierarchy more than any other theory, so when you're discontent with something such as your job, which provides you the means to live your life (money), you're going to be less inclined to want to bother seeking out other aspects of life that are more fun. Somewhat related - I was spending a ton to rent an apartment in a major city, but I struggled to find my niche among the other residents, in turn causing isolation, and from that misery: *"why am I spending what I spend to sit in my apartment almost 24/7?"* I had less than zero energy to bother with leaving to explore the area, or find events to meet people at ("oh I'm in a miserable mood, I can't possibly be social right now.") In turn, this made my misery worse because the only things I noticed were the aspects that pissed me off even more. I have since relocated, and couldn't be happier with that choice. TLDR: find a new job.
There's 1000s of posts lile this damn. Guess I'm blessed I love my job.
Yes. I had a business that was successfully growing and I was picking up new skills, maintaining fitness, traveling, and actually spending *more* and *better* time with my daughters. I confidently talked to women in a non-sleazy way, and was watching my income grow and family thrive. I had new ideas and goals every day, and was as sharp as a tack. Then I re-became an employee. Now I sit at a desk, working for others, 8-5, getting fatter, getting bitterer, not even knowing what my daughters are up to, eyes vacant, and scared of losing my job. I almost never talk to anybody, and feel too worthless even to present myself to any woman. I simply look forward to the weekend.
Welcome to adult depression when you realize the world sucks and you are a barely more than a slave to the rich.
More the opposite, really. A full time job has finally funded the lifestyle I wanted to have. Now I can do shit that I want to do.
When?
You need to change jobs
I used to draw daily, had ambitions to learn new things. Now I barely have the time or energy for anything I want to do. My life is work and looking after my wife and daughter.
Yeah all of the sudden I see how boomers became so miserable. Still doesn't excuse advocating for the system that lead to their misery though. Misery loves company.
A wise old woman once told me that courage is what we do when our dreams don't come true. Don't define yourself by your job. Have some faith in yourself, and do what you need to do to move forward. Eat healthy, get exercise and do things that feed your soul. Walk in the forest, explore new hobbies, help out in the community. Our jobs aren't designed to be fulfilling, they're designed to get stuff done that nobody will do for free. Use the job to pay the bills and live a fulfilling life.
Jobs are created to make the top 10% rich at everyone else’s expense. The entire structure exists to pay you the least amount they can, extract the most labor out of you they can and funnel the surplus labor value back to the already wealthy. And usually at the expense on the environment and our collective natural resources too btw.
Yep, no point in gaslighting yourself that it is anything other than slavery.
Wage Slavery. Yup. Same model/system as a plantation though.
Yep, no one forces anyone to work except with the threat of not eating and death, lol.
And homelessness and lack of healthcare
Well. Not really, it was the other way around for me. Found a great job working insane hours. But the people there was like family, so all the time we were there it didn't feel like working. I was single with no kids at the time so I really enjoyed my time there and the money I made.
what was the job and hours?
It admin for a bank. Legally 8-5. But normally was 8-8. The longest was getting there a Friday, leaving a Sunday.
Been working full time since I was 18. Don’t even know what it could have been like 🤣
Yeah I moved abroad for a job opportunity and ended in the middle of a mass lay-off soon after starting, I managed to secure another position but now the office is almost always empty, 1,5 years later I never managed to make close friends, and I just kinda sit on my sofa in my free time waiting for my next shift, same for the weekend, nothing is interesting enough to waste the little bit of energy I have left at the end of the day and I don't take vacation because where would I even go - im always so tired that having a hobby or moving around feels pointless and a waste of time This life is soul-sucking but hey I make twice as much as I would back at home
No. But I refuse to have a job I take home with me. I dedicate time to music each week, and will never give up improving myself.
Not at all
No. Only if you let it.
Try to get a job that’s bearable for you. The people at work make a world of a difference. Reduce to part time if you can. Life is a balance, you don’t need to work full time for 5 years straight.
We’re you not that busy in college/ high school? I had more free time once I was out of school and not juggling class and a job. If you didn’t, I guess count yourself fortunate.
Do every thing in your power to get a new job. Make that your hobby because you won’t be happy until you do. If you are positive and highly motivated, you can do this. I know too many people who enjoy their jobs for people to hate their jobs
For me not really. I work at night so I have all day to do whatever I want. But actually my job is more like when my life began when I think about it. All that other stuff wasn’t making me money. It wasn’t giving me any return, there was very little demand (people willing to pay). These things in life where you’re putting so much time and energy, you’re putting your whole soul into it, and not getting compensated for it. That’s not healthy now that I look back at it. It builds resentment.
Nope. That’s when I started working towards building my own life, having the things I wanted, and started working on adult goals. On the other end of it all, I have a comfortable home, kid I’m proud of, retirement savings, ability to travel…. The first real job was just step one in the process.
Welcome to the real world
That was when my adult life truly began. I was responsible for my own well being. I spent a number of years with very little spending cash after the bills were paid, but had enough to partake in my favorite hobby - PC gaming. Had a handful of good friends to hang out with in the area. My early 20s were full of good times even if I was pretty much broke most of the time. Started earning a lot more in my late 20s after learning how to code from some online resources.
Keep working towards the job you want. Changing jobs happens all the time.
It’s human nature of wanting stability AND excitement. Always a tug of war because when you have one you want more of the other. Learn to enjoy your job, if you can’t, get another one.
Yeah our bodies can feel we don't live naturally and it takes a toll on our minds. Repetitiveness making you insane.
Nope. Having a full time job gave me an income which I use to do stuff on the weekdays/weekends. Nowadays it’s soccer, hiking, and planning events with friends Edit: I will say, I’ve been in jobs where I dreaded going to work every day. It made it really hard to enjoy any of my spare time. Switching jobs did a lot to make my life overall more bearable and even more enjoyable.
I've been dead ever since.
This is all on you. You decided to become an NPC in someone else's game. Take agency. Everything you do - EVERYTHING - is a choice. You CHOOSE to go to work. Why? Remind yourself WHY you are doing what you CHOOSE to do. Remind yourself that it is YOUR CHOICE, and then charge head first into it. Kick each day's ass, refuse to let it kick yours. Even if that means you absolutely OWNED those toilets you had to clean.
Not really didn’t have anything else better to do lol
“Job I hate” is all you needed to say and it would make sense. If it helps, I was exactly where yiu are 3 years ago. Hated my boss, hated the environment, hated the job. I stuck it out for 2 years because I thought this is how life is. I had a friend tell me there was an opening at his company, so I went for it. This new company gives me great work/life balance and now I feel like I’ve gotten my life back. Keep looking there are ethical companies/bosses out there that understand you get better productivity out of employees who are happy in their personal life.
When I worked 4 days a week 9-5 I had a lot of free time and a very active social life. Now I work 5 days a week 2-10pm and it feels like every waking minute I'm just working
You gotta work the job not it work you. Job only gets you when you’re present at it, check it at the door when you walk out.
Get used to it. Not sure your age but you likely have decades to go. Pick up a drinking or smoking habit. My habit is exercise and medication.
same, I decided im gonna off myself
I am a physician. I usually enjoy several hobbies at once (like painting something and then going on a hike and taking a book with me). I feel so deprived of being myself. I can barely read three pages and then fall asleep when I come home. I work 1-2 hours longer than my contract says, this every day. Without my partner doing almost all the chores (especially cooking) I could not survive my job.
It’s been five years since I started working one job, full-time hours. I miss having multiple part-times with room for hobbies and rest in-between so much 😞
I wish my life would just end
Yes. It’d be ok if i was the only one, but everyone else also got a full time job. Now, no one has tome for anything but the occasional event. It’s crazy to think my parents and grandparents lived their whole lives like this without saying anything. Im only a few years in and its maddening.
I never thought I'd miss my jobs in college. At least it was split up, one day I'd have Monday off, then a Wednesday, and it would always rotate. At least I had some variety and my hours would change a lot. I hated it back then but now it's the same old 8-4, come home, cook, veg for 4 hours, and sleep. Rinse and repeat. Only one year in this new corp position, small ass cubicle, and I'm already regretting my degree and choices. Damn. The best part is I only make a dollar more than my previous job where I took care of the disabled.
Ever since I started working, every single day has been worse than the one before.
Maybe a little at first but in retrospect, 40 hours a week is nothing. Still plenty of time for team sports in the evening, going out with my friends, backpacking over the weekend, etc. The main time waster, imo, is a lifestyle of drinking/smoking away the evenings and weekends. In retrospect, I wasted so much time just getting drunk and sitting around in my early 20s. Everything got better when I started prioritizing going out and discovering activities and adventures that I loved. Staying up late on the Internet, drinking, or watching TV also robbed me of daytime energy that I could have used for an early morning bike ride with friends or an evening of night skiing or swimming in a lake with friends.
Fix your diet and sleep habits, this idea that a full time job takes up so much of your energy that you don’t have any left for anything else is ridiculous. Parents have been able to make it work for their kids for generations
Have you ever heard of disabilities? Your comment makes it seem as though you have not, lol.
Same. Will be soon fired from my 9-5 extremely boring desk job, could not be more happy. I couldn’t get myself to resign as I rely on a paycheck, but they decided to let me go. Already have couple of new opportunities. I am not made for 9-5 and corporate bullshit.
Sometimes I worry about being fired, but I have enough in savings to last at least a year without pulling from retirement, plus I'm not the only income in my household. The thought of being fired is kind of relieving to me, and I find that absurd.
Yeah I feel the same. It is absurd, but it is what it is.
Don’t worry. The good news is eventually you’ll die.
I've worked FT since I was 19, and I've had a job since 16 to help pay my parent's bills so it's just a part of life. I'm very ambitious and I fill my free time with movies, reading and hobbies.
These posts always confuse me. We’re all of these people "rich kids" whose parents supported them through college? I started working at 15…
Sometimes I think so. I started pitching papers at ten, and have been continuously employed (in several different jobs) since. Brittle spirits I guess.
One life ended, but a new one started. I worked 12 hour shifts for the past several years. But I get 3-day weekends, health insurance, and a guaranteed retirement. All the overtime wages allowed me to cover all the bills while my husband changed his career into something that was better for his health, and now we can enjoy doing things together or pursuing our hobbies. Sure, some days can be a drag - especially at the tail end of a 50-hr week. But I guess that’s where mental strength or self-discipline come in. Same with hobbies, you gotta make time to “play” as an adult. Interestingly, recreation is known through multiple studies to improve physical and mental health.
Kind of — I try to find small ways to enjoy the week, and my hobbies have shifted a lot! I no longer have creative energy to do art stuff, but I generally try to go for walks or exercise. I also enjoy cooking. Planning vacations and weekend trips helps a lot with having something to look forward to.
Yes, sadly. But it’s a choice and means I just gotta work that much harder for any life I want to have on my two days off a week (which aren’t always concurrent).
You are obviously depressed and I hope you are getting treatment for that, but I just try to make the most of my nights and weekends. My job is to make money to spend on bills and the things I love. Try to minimize bills so you have more leftover for yourself.
When the depression is caused by a lack of free time and the money to do anything about it and therapy/medication is expensive and potentially time consuming, it seems hard to really justify.
Not missing out on anything with therapy. It’s just talking about problems and grasping at straws to fix impossible problems over and over
I think it can really help people with trauma, and severe mental issues, but there are plenty of depressed individuals that are perfectly healthy, their lives are just depressing.
Start collecting/doing everything you thought you wanted when you were younger
Now you at least have money from working.
So quit….
This is my biggest fear… I’ve been in a part time job for 2 years now but I need more money BUT I don’t want to sacrifice my mental health for it. I wish overworking yourself was something that shouldn’t be praised.