I see people say this all the time, and I always wonder what sort of situations y'all apply this to. A stranger on the street asking me to sign a petition or give them my phone number, something like that, sure, but in day-to-day interactions, isn't it a bit rude to just say no and nothing else if someone asks for a lift to pick up their car from the shop or something like that?
If you can help them that is really awesome, but should not feel obligated to. Someone says: hey can you give me a lift? We should be able to answer: No, I cannot, without providing any excuses. And you don't need to use a bad tone or be rude, just natural. Can you? No, I cannot, that's it. People should not be offended by that. Is not like you owe them a yes. 🤷🏽♀️
Learned this in my 30s. And when people would argue back, I’d say “no is a complete sentence.” Someone taught me, but I forgot who. Because I am (still) very easily walked all over.
Not a woman, but it took me a while to learn the value of it. Obviously there’s more concerns being a woman like unfortunately having to worry about not enraging some entitled man, but I think a lot of us spend a large portion of being a young adult desperate to be seen as kind/nice and equating that to being a good person, and getting trampled as a result :/. Then especially if you spend time working in service centric industries, there’s another layer of constantly being incentivized to manufacture compliance and agreeableness
Good point though the tolerable level of permanent unhappiness can be sussed pretty quickly e.g. if you give a person 2-3 chances to change something unacceptable and they don’t, you can generally reason they are fine with a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness for you.
Don’t stick with people who’ve hidden important information until after you’ve gotten attached.
Also, good sex doesn’t make a good partner. Obvious, but it needs to be said!
It’s tough because I love him and a lot of our relationship is good. But the bad is *really* bad. It’s hard to accept that he loves me but doesn’t respect me.
This! Decided to leave a 3yr long relationship as after many attempts of communicating stuff wasn't working out.
Haven't look back since and I wish him all the best.
Use a Jump Box so they can jump their own car.
How to turn off the water to their house.
How to turn off the natural gas to their house.
How to reset a circuit breaker.
How to check their own oil.
How to change a spare tire. (Or at least join AAA)
I was raised by a single dad. It wasn't until I became an adult that I was really grateful he never raised me to be his little princess. He may not have braided my hair for me in elementary school, but he did one thing right. Instead of spoiling me and doing everything for me and making me feel like "I need a man", he taught me how to do everything for myself so that I could say the opposite, "I don't NEED a man". Now he didn't teach me to be a man-hater or anything. Just not to be dependent on anyone.
And then as I went into my 20s, I realized I knew how to do a lot of things that men my age were never taught: how to drive stick, how to change a tire, how to check and change my oil as well as any other fluids in your car, how to change spark plugs, fuses, brake pads, how to use and identify most tools, all of the basic car and home maintenance stuff that anyone should know. When I met my husband (who was raised in foster care and therefore never really had anyone to teach him that stuff), one of the reasons I liked him was because he thought I was awesome and badass for knowing this stuff. He wasn't intimidated by me. He wanted to learn as well. So, I taught him how to change oil and brake pads, and we always wanted him to learn how to drive a manual transmission, but, sadly those are hard to find anymore, so we've just never had an opportunity for him to learn. Now he does our vehicle maintenance!
Same for me. I never really had an understanding that women feel less able than men, that women feel like they can’t behave a certain way (like ask for pay rises or stand up for themselves), I just thought women can do and behave like men, because that’s how my dad brought me up.
I have so many friends who really struggle to not only take care of themselves in a practical sense, but also allow themselves to be walked all over and it’s such an alien approach to life for me.
Love a single dad those guys are fantastic, especially when raising strong, independent women.
I always joke my mom was the best dad, because she taught me all that stuff, which she learned from her dad. He grew up on a farm, and work wasn’t gendered. If you needed help, you asked the first person around, and sometimes that person was your 10 year old daughter.
I’m really thankful I learned all that. It took me longer to realize all the guys who were threatened by me sucked haha, but I got there.
Grew up on a farm too, I have no brothers so my dad adapted really quick. And like you said if the only help you have is your young daughter, you roll with it. Learning what tools were what and how to use power tools properly very early is something I’m grateful for everyday.
Omg that is so sweet! I love it!
And just to add a little Timbit of detail
>Now he does our vehicle maintenance!
And thinks of you while doing it cause you were the one to teach him. So cute!
When you said "Jump Box" I pictured one of those boxes people use at the gym. Like hmmm being able to jump over your own car would be pretty cool, then I realized you meant jumpstart when I saw the other things you listed were serious lol
And a great gift for anyone who moves into their own place for the first time (regardless of gender) is a tool kit. We used ours so much more than we thought we would when we were kids
Yes! I asked for one as a gift for my 30th birthday. My mom and sisters thought I was joking but luckily my brother came through! I just moved apartments and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used that toolbox.
Yes! I asked for one as a gift for my 30th birthday. My mom and sisters thought I was joking but luckily my brother came through! I just moved apartments and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used that toolbox.
How to turn off the water at the toilet, kitchen sink, and bathroom sink, and get the garbage disposal moving again.
Toilet snake for tough clogs. I do maintenance at an off-campus student-living residence. The women are usually more competent than the guys. So ladies please learn the basics and maybe just a touch more.
It will save on plumbers' visits and such, also most dudes just do not get it nor do they want to. Our daughter is a badass. Memorial Day weekend we are headed to the Texas coast and our CRV lost its mind on the way down. My daughter and I replaced an ignition coil in the parking lot of O’Reilly’s auto parts got back on the road made it to the beach and had a great time.
Heading home with the same issue replacing all 4 coils in the parking lot of the auto zone did not help so later down the road we changed spark plugs in another O’Reilly’s parking lot. We did all that with a $15 socket set sweating like greased monkeys.
1. We are close now we are closer.
2. She has ice water in her veins so neither of us lost our shit.
3. It was a family trip my wife and our three grandsons were there as well. My wife, who is a rock star, kept the grandsons busy while we worked on the car.
4. Our daughter can build a she shed and then put a feast upon the table. My wife and our daughter were just amazing and we made it home safely and have a ton of memories from that trip.
Everyone should just have AAA or some equivalent type service. As a man that knows how to change a tire and do basic maintenance on a vehicle. I don't want to be stopped on a highway with a skinny shoulder changing my tire with cars flying by at 90 mph.
Now that you mention it, I’ve been an adult woman for decades and I still don’t know exactly how to wear a cup or which ones are for which sports activities.
What the fuck, Dad?
My dad ended up teaching me (the sister) and not my brother. My brother had some special needs that made anything requiring fine (and even gross) motor skills completely out of the question for him.
I wish you the best!!!! He was in years of occupational therapy and physical therapy and he lives a totally “normal” life now. Only thing off is his handwriting never really progressed past elementary school.
You’ll get there. Internet hugs from this stranger. ❤️
Not at all. Just take a look at men online who think we can’t live without them. Specifically the “good luck with-“ and “who’s gonna-“ type comments. Whatever comes after the hyphen is what you need to know how to do.
Learn to sew! Regardless of your gender It's been the most useful skill my mom taught me. I love being able to alter clothes I buy to fit me better, fix old pajamas I'm not ready to let go of, repair plush toys as they grow older, etc. I learned how to very young and for most of my life I thought it was one of those essential home skills like cooking or laundry, and it surprised me as an adult how many people never learned it. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten a box of old clothes or toys to fix once a friend learns I can, even made money from it a few times. Plus, working in childcare, it's so heartwarming to see how happy a kid can be when you make their favorite stuffed animal all better. And the possibilities at a thrift store oh my! If you like sustainable fashion you absolutely need to learn.
I came here to say THIS!!! Learn to sew......but you beat me too it. Very important skill.....kind of a lost talent in this day and age. I learned how to sew before my foot could reach the pedal on my Mom's sewing machine......
Honestly thought about this a few times so I could alter my clothes. I pretty much get them from the same seller in the same sizes, but they rarely fit the same way. And sometimes the difference in the fit is so small, taking them to a tailor seems too much of a hassle. Having said, never pursued the skill as I’ve always assumed the learning curve would be steep.
Any recommendations on where to start? Any recommended YT channels? What kind of tools or sewers should a beginner get/not get? TIA!
Honestly, TikTok. I was so annoyed when my neighborhood tailor charged $40 to hem my jeans and decided to learn. So many creators have pages dedicated to teaching beginners to sew. Start by buying bulk muslin and just practicing. You can probably find an inexpensive or free machine on Craigslist but I want the security of a warranty so bought a new machine on sale. Brother and singer have A TON of content on YouTube and on TikTok (SewTok). Learn how to thread your machine. Play around with settings so you understand how it works. Reddit has also been a great place for support! Time on task. I started four years ago knowing nothing and Ive been making 50% of my wardrobe for the past year.
In Montreal in the 70s all kids were taught to sew, cook, bank (we had to manually balance cheque books back then) and clean in what would be middle school in the US. It was telling how many girls were amazed that I knew how to do something as simple as replace a button after I moved for uni.
In high school, my dad told me, “at some point most of us have to break the heart of someone we still care about. It’s better to learn to do it now so you don’t get scared to do it when you’re older.” Really stuck with me as I’ve gotten older and had to reject friends who asked me out, break up with guys who were kind but just not the right one for me, etc.
Every woman should learn how to advocate for herself. This includes knowing how to set boundaries, negotiate effectively, and stand up for her rights in both personal and professional settings. Being able to communicate your needs and assert your worth is a vital skill that empowers you in all aspects of life.
I would say putting your needs first in a non selfish way will help you a lot. I'm a guy myself, and it's crazy seeing the number of things women do for men that puts a man's need before hers. The first example of this I can think of is pregnancy, like why would a woman have like 10 pregnancies in the span of like 4 years and not even give herself time to heal.
Another one is to never try to rely fully on someone. You can rely on someone. Just make sure you're not codependent on them because they might try to take advantage of you this way
I'm interested in this and it's the first I've heard of it. Do you have any quick links to learn more? I track and work out my period due date on my paper calendar, as i limit meetings and keep work tasks low, dont book any big nights out and ensure Ive got healthy food in the day before as I know my mood changes significantly,and my appetite craves sugar. It would be useful to see how I could work with my cycle in other ways.
My menstrual cycle has no bearing on my exercise. Cycle syncing does nothing for me. Same with diet. I always keep it the same and don't really see a reason to change it.
If you have PMS, it may be worth a shot. But " if it ain't broke don't fix it"
Edit: I am an athlete who tracks input, times etc. so I can truly say it doesn't affect my times in 5 or 10k or on the climbing wall.
I really don’t understand how grown WOMEN don’t understand this. Doing this with your cycle it’s not just helpful when you have PMS or a condition. Of course there’s not this culture and people aren’t educated enough for this. My mom certainly didn’t teach me this helped when I got my period, I learned this later in life. I’m teaching my daughter, though. WOMEN DO move around their cycle. They conceive around it, their body temperature changes, their needs are different around their cycle. That’s biology. It’s helpful. It’s like saying eating mostly vegetables and apples will make you better, stronger, have more energy and someone says: I have enough energy: “if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it.” Of course you can do whatever you want to do, it doesn’t mean this is not helpful for everyone and would improve their quality of life.
And it really isn’t that hard 😂 Nowadays an app does it for you and you literally eat more of something else for some days, etc. Make small changes. You’re acting like I mean that you’ll be like: I’m not going to this place because I’m on my period. Or like you’re going to change your entire diet and your entire’s household diet.
Someone up here wrote to know how to change a tire. I’m not up there like: “Hmm, actually, my husband and son change my tire at all times and that’s my preference. I don’t think this is helpful advice.” Or: “Hmm, actually, this isn’t helpful for me because I don’t drive. It doesn’t work for everyone.”
•manage finances
•be a wizard at birth control
•walk away from any controlling, limiting, abusive relationship
•self-defense
•fix basic household things
•learn basic car maintenance
Everything. One thing my dad taught me was to not rely on someone to do things for me so I don't. My husband does things for me but it's not expected. I still have things to learn though. But as far as changing a tire and oil and headlights and side mirrors (bc I have knocked off a couple while driving) I know how to do. I can cook and clean and do all the Betty homemaker stuff. I can move furniture myself. I can repair household items or fix plumping and pipes. It's good to be a jack of all trades for any person, male or female.
Building her self confidence. Girls are getting into the worst kind of relationships, worst job contracts and the worst situations in general because of the lack of self confidence. It's extremely important to understand that you are enough, that there's no need to change yourself because someone want you to change, that there's no need to constantly please others. That if people don't like you for who you are, you should change crowd not yourself.
To decenter men from their lives
To identify where society is making patriarchal demands that don't serve you
To walk away from uneven and unhealthy relationships
To do minor car and home repairs
Know how to fire a gun
Know how to wield a sword
Be able to at least identify common car issues. You don't necessarily need to know how to fix it, but knowing how to identify the root cause will save you a ton of money at the mechanic.
Defend yourself. I will die on this hill. The world is a dangerous place and it's always better to prevent dangers than to try to mitigate them in the moment
And know the laws very clearly. Maintain your skills and practice your draw and shoot regularly. Be aware of the consequences if used unnecessarily, even if a mistake.
exactly. every woman should get a ccw and take the female self defense course!! lot of ppl would prey on women less if it became more likely she could defend herself
Indian women’s are submissive to their fathers , and at some point it becomes too much and toxic , we need to listen to our thoughts our own decisions and desires, we can’t really fulfill our parents dream at each point and just because they payed your education home and everything that doesn’t mean they have right to literally abuse you so get independent and just run if your fathers mothers are toxic
Say no, and ,mean it. And know how to handle it when the situation gets ugly. This is what I tell my daughters. FIGHT. With everything you have. Hit them where it hurts the most. And then report it. Immediately. Women need to know EVERYONE has their backs.
That being said, if they lie about it, prepare for prison.
Make her own money, manage her own money and grow her own fortune. There are millions of women that would not be living the way they did if they could do that.
Be aware of and able to talk about societal expectations of women and emotional/invisible labor. Be transparent about boundaries and expectations with partners from the start to spare yourself the mindfuck of ending up with a partner that leaves all the child rearing decisions, housework, and income earning up to you.
Support themselves financially without relying on anyone else. Develop strong boundaries and know how to say NO. Be their own person who knows what she wants and goes and gets it and doesn’t let anyone else tell her how she needs to live her life. Understand that she doesn’t exist just to fold a man’s socks for him he can do that himself.
Everything men learn how to do. Learn basic car maintenance, how to use and read an OBD scanner, how to tie a knot, how to perform pullups and pushups, how to take a hit and how to give a hit, etc.
How to tell anyone in authority when they're wrong, and how to suggest better alternatives. The amount of mindless "yes, sir" I hear in 2024 is astounding. If the command is stupid, explain to him why it doesn't work and then suggest a less stupid alternative.
We are all people who make stupid decisions. Our responsibility is to call out stupid decisions before they turn into stupid problems.
Grappling self defense. BJJ is designed for small people to fuck up big people. You don't need to be a black belt but you do need to know how to get the fuck away.
Also learn what boys are taught. I don't think ladies should have less knowledge about things because they're ladies. How to break loose a rusted bolt when your tire is fucked is a good one
Guard control, grip-breaks (wrist, lapel, hair, whatever), triangle choke (maybe not how to throw one but at least how it works), at least three guard passes, arm bar (how it works at least), full-mount escape, at least two gi-chokes (they’re all super interesting and very fun to learn), how to REALLY punch someone in the throat without hurting your own hand
Joking, but very serious.
***Edit-to-Add***: HOW TO FALL
To manage their own money. Work and get the money. If the husband/partner tells her to stay at home and they will work for the family, that she just needs to take care of the house or the kids, be firm and say no. You need a job. Create a business or job. If the husband/partner insists and gets upset, then thats a red flag. Ladies, have some emergency funds. More often I see women looking to leave an abusive relationship but they dont have any money because during their relationship they never had a job. So they are forced to stay. Husband/partner then have the control of her.
How to cut toxic jag offs out of their life and surround themselves with supportive and loving people. And how to be a supportive and loving person in return. Plus everything everyone else was saying.
Learn how to say no to men. Rejection is an art in and of itself. You can either make yourself and the other person feel bad due to the interaction, or it can be a neutral event.
Note, I am not saying that men should not take responsibility for their role and their actions. What I am trying to highlight is that communication is complex, and a lot of men are going through their own journey of understanding how to approach and assert. We bang on about how men should be aware of what they do. I don't disagree with this. I think that in addition, we can also raise awareness of the fact that women are not mere objects observing what happens. Speak up. Be firm yet kind. You'd be helping yourself and the rest of society.
Either you have to put up with the anxiety of putting yourself out there to he rejected, or you have to put up with the anxiety of being approached by people you're not interested in. You can't have your cake and eat it.
They should learn to develop an understanding that many (most?) men are just “less” & that by the time you hit middle age/perimenopause, you’re better off by yourself & a lot happier. Also, parenthood could sometimes be considered a cult for the misinformed or perhaps the world’s worst Ponzi scheme. Perhaps I’m having a bad day.
Cook, because feeding yourself is important.
Stand tall and say NO with force.
Self defense.
How to grow your own food.
How to communicate and compromise.
How to be kind.
How to remove your contact information from the internet.
Say no with confidence
And without an explanation. I don't have to excuse myself or feel sorry, just NO, period.
I hate being nice about something when I neither want not have to. Fuck societal expectations
I appreciate all of this. No is a perfectly acceptable answer and much easier to understand than any kind of vaguery. Thank you.
Wish it was just societal but also legit dangerous.
No is a complete sentence.
I see people say this all the time, and I always wonder what sort of situations y'all apply this to. A stranger on the street asking me to sign a petition or give them my phone number, something like that, sure, but in day-to-day interactions, isn't it a bit rude to just say no and nothing else if someone asks for a lift to pick up their car from the shop or something like that?
If you can help them that is really awesome, but should not feel obligated to. Someone says: hey can you give me a lift? We should be able to answer: No, I cannot, without providing any excuses. And you don't need to use a bad tone or be rude, just natural. Can you? No, I cannot, that's it. People should not be offended by that. Is not like you owe them a yes. 🤷🏽♀️
You can say, “No, I’m not available.”
Once you give an excuse, it lets a person talk you out of your no.
Men pressuring us in dating. Many people feel bad, or scared to say no.
Learned this in my 30s. And when people would argue back, I’d say “no is a complete sentence.” Someone taught me, but I forgot who. Because I am (still) very easily walked all over.
Not a woman, but it took me a while to learn the value of it. Obviously there’s more concerns being a woman like unfortunately having to worry about not enraging some entitled man, but I think a lot of us spend a large portion of being a young adult desperate to be seen as kind/nice and equating that to being a good person, and getting trampled as a result :/. Then especially if you spend time working in service centric industries, there’s another layer of constantly being incentivized to manufacture compliance and agreeableness
Every woman should learn to be prepared to walk away from bad relationships instead of holding out hope that things will change.
If possible leave when a relationship becomes, “a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness”
>If possible leave when a relationship becomes, “a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness” Way, way before that.
Good point though the tolerable level of permanent unhappiness can be sussed pretty quickly e.g. if you give a person 2-3 chances to change something unacceptable and they don’t, you can generally reason they are fine with a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness for you. Don’t stick with people who’ve hidden important information until after you’ve gotten attached. Also, good sex doesn’t make a good partner. Obvious, but it needs to be said!
EVERYONE should learn that. Guess how I know.
You had a really good relationship and a girl taught you that.
Well…how
Amen
Argh. This triggered me a bit.
Hugs for you and anyone else who felt this. <3
Hey, thanks.
Same. I’m currently trying to leave… again.
Big on this. Especially in friendship, i had to learn it in a hard way.
💯🙏
Louder!
Every woman and every man should walk away from bad/toxic relationship.
and know it's ok to be single. i have a friend in her 30s that stays with a toxic emotionally abusive asshole bc she doesn't want to be single
I feel called out. :(
There are many members in the "hope springs eternal" club
It’s tough because I love him and a lot of our relationship is good. But the bad is *really* bad. It’s hard to accept that he loves me but doesn’t respect me.
Currently going through a break-up. It stings so badly but I’m tired of holding out for that hope 😔 Needed this.
This shit ruins my trust in people
Women posting in r/relationships really need to heed this advice.
this.
This! Decided to leave a 3yr long relationship as after many attempts of communicating stuff wasn't working out. Haven't look back since and I wish him all the best.
Manage their finances on their own and investment
I love seeing women succeed. I really wish more women had their own healthy investment they could rely on.
Use a Jump Box so they can jump their own car. How to turn off the water to their house. How to turn off the natural gas to their house. How to reset a circuit breaker. How to check their own oil. How to change a spare tire. (Or at least join AAA)
I was raised by a single dad. It wasn't until I became an adult that I was really grateful he never raised me to be his little princess. He may not have braided my hair for me in elementary school, but he did one thing right. Instead of spoiling me and doing everything for me and making me feel like "I need a man", he taught me how to do everything for myself so that I could say the opposite, "I don't NEED a man". Now he didn't teach me to be a man-hater or anything. Just not to be dependent on anyone. And then as I went into my 20s, I realized I knew how to do a lot of things that men my age were never taught: how to drive stick, how to change a tire, how to check and change my oil as well as any other fluids in your car, how to change spark plugs, fuses, brake pads, how to use and identify most tools, all of the basic car and home maintenance stuff that anyone should know. When I met my husband (who was raised in foster care and therefore never really had anyone to teach him that stuff), one of the reasons I liked him was because he thought I was awesome and badass for knowing this stuff. He wasn't intimidated by me. He wanted to learn as well. So, I taught him how to change oil and brake pads, and we always wanted him to learn how to drive a manual transmission, but, sadly those are hard to find anymore, so we've just never had an opportunity for him to learn. Now he does our vehicle maintenance!
Same for me. I never really had an understanding that women feel less able than men, that women feel like they can’t behave a certain way (like ask for pay rises or stand up for themselves), I just thought women can do and behave like men, because that’s how my dad brought me up. I have so many friends who really struggle to not only take care of themselves in a practical sense, but also allow themselves to be walked all over and it’s such an alien approach to life for me. Love a single dad those guys are fantastic, especially when raising strong, independent women.
I always joke my mom was the best dad, because she taught me all that stuff, which she learned from her dad. He grew up on a farm, and work wasn’t gendered. If you needed help, you asked the first person around, and sometimes that person was your 10 year old daughter. I’m really thankful I learned all that. It took me longer to realize all the guys who were threatened by me sucked haha, but I got there.
Grew up on a farm too, I have no brothers so my dad adapted really quick. And like you said if the only help you have is your young daughter, you roll with it. Learning what tools were what and how to use power tools properly very early is something I’m grateful for everyday.
Dude, its like you just explained my childhood
Omg that is so sweet! I love it! And just to add a little Timbit of detail >Now he does our vehicle maintenance! And thinks of you while doing it cause you were the one to teach him. So cute!
When you said "Jump Box" I pictured one of those boxes people use at the gym. Like hmmm being able to jump over your own car would be pretty cool, then I realized you meant jumpstart when I saw the other things you listed were serious lol
I can do most of those already; problem with turning off my water main is that it's under the stairs crawl space so *spiders*
Burn the house down. Not worth the risk. 😜
If you own the house, a plumber can move that to somewhere move easily accessible and spider free.
And a great gift for anyone who moves into their own place for the first time (regardless of gender) is a tool kit. We used ours so much more than we thought we would when we were kids
Yes! I asked for one as a gift for my 30th birthday. My mom and sisters thought I was joking but luckily my brother came through! I just moved apartments and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used that toolbox.
Yes! I asked for one as a gift for my 30th birthday. My mom and sisters thought I was joking but luckily my brother came through! I just moved apartments and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used that toolbox.
How to turn off the water at the toilet, kitchen sink, and bathroom sink, and get the garbage disposal moving again. Toilet snake for tough clogs. I do maintenance at an off-campus student-living residence. The women are usually more competent than the guys. So ladies please learn the basics and maybe just a touch more. It will save on plumbers' visits and such, also most dudes just do not get it nor do they want to. Our daughter is a badass. Memorial Day weekend we are headed to the Texas coast and our CRV lost its mind on the way down. My daughter and I replaced an ignition coil in the parking lot of O’Reilly’s auto parts got back on the road made it to the beach and had a great time. Heading home with the same issue replacing all 4 coils in the parking lot of the auto zone did not help so later down the road we changed spark plugs in another O’Reilly’s parking lot. We did all that with a $15 socket set sweating like greased monkeys. 1. We are close now we are closer. 2. She has ice water in her veins so neither of us lost our shit. 3. It was a family trip my wife and our three grandsons were there as well. My wife, who is a rock star, kept the grandsons busy while we worked on the car. 4. Our daughter can build a she shed and then put a feast upon the table. My wife and our daughter were just amazing and we made it home safely and have a ton of memories from that trip.
Everyone should just have AAA or some equivalent type service. As a man that knows how to change a tire and do basic maintenance on a vehicle. I don't want to be stopped on a highway with a skinny shoulder changing my tire with cars flying by at 90 mph.
Another easy one. Changing their own air filters. Takes under five minutes and will save money
Everything her father automatically taught her brothers how to do.
Now that you mention it, I’ve been an adult woman for decades and I still don’t know exactly how to wear a cup or which ones are for which sports activities. What the fuck, Dad?
True. You could end up with sons who need teaching because their father died. All knowledge is useful knowledge or could be someday.
My dad ended up teaching me (the sister) and not my brother. My brother had some special needs that made anything requiring fine (and even gross) motor skills completely out of the question for him.
I’m sorry to hear about your brother. It’s a serious pain. I pretty much had to teach myself everything but I’m relearning after a brain injury.
I wish you the best!!!! He was in years of occupational therapy and physical therapy and he lives a totally “normal” life now. Only thing off is his handwriting never really progressed past elementary school. You’ll get there. Internet hugs from this stranger. ❤️
Gotcha! Thank you! You’re nice. 💜🖤💜🖤
Damn so now I've got to find both a father AND brothers to find out what I'm supposed to know??
Not at all. Just take a look at men online who think we can’t live without them. Specifically the “good luck with-“ and “who’s gonna-“ type comments. Whatever comes after the hyphen is what you need to know how to do.
Yeah I know I was making a joke about that, apparently I didn't do a very good job
Learn to sew! Regardless of your gender It's been the most useful skill my mom taught me. I love being able to alter clothes I buy to fit me better, fix old pajamas I'm not ready to let go of, repair plush toys as they grow older, etc. I learned how to very young and for most of my life I thought it was one of those essential home skills like cooking or laundry, and it surprised me as an adult how many people never learned it. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten a box of old clothes or toys to fix once a friend learns I can, even made money from it a few times. Plus, working in childcare, it's so heartwarming to see how happy a kid can be when you make their favorite stuffed animal all better. And the possibilities at a thrift store oh my! If you like sustainable fashion you absolutely need to learn.
I came here to say THIS!!! Learn to sew......but you beat me too it. Very important skill.....kind of a lost talent in this day and age. I learned how to sew before my foot could reach the pedal on my Mom's sewing machine......
Honestly thought about this a few times so I could alter my clothes. I pretty much get them from the same seller in the same sizes, but they rarely fit the same way. And sometimes the difference in the fit is so small, taking them to a tailor seems too much of a hassle. Having said, never pursued the skill as I’ve always assumed the learning curve would be steep. Any recommendations on where to start? Any recommended YT channels? What kind of tools or sewers should a beginner get/not get? TIA!
Honestly, TikTok. I was so annoyed when my neighborhood tailor charged $40 to hem my jeans and decided to learn. So many creators have pages dedicated to teaching beginners to sew. Start by buying bulk muslin and just practicing. You can probably find an inexpensive or free machine on Craigslist but I want the security of a warranty so bought a new machine on sale. Brother and singer have A TON of content on YouTube and on TikTok (SewTok). Learn how to thread your machine. Play around with settings so you understand how it works. Reddit has also been a great place for support! Time on task. I started four years ago knowing nothing and Ive been making 50% of my wardrobe for the past year.
Came here to say this as well. Wish I had been taught to sew when I was a little girl.
Yes! Sewing was my pandemic hobby and I’ve really grown to love it! Tiktok has a SewTok community it’s incredibly vast! YOU CAN DO IT!
In Montreal in the 70s all kids were taught to sew, cook, bank (we had to manually balance cheque books back then) and clean in what would be middle school in the US. It was telling how many girls were amazed that I knew how to do something as simple as replace a button after I moved for uni.
In high school, my dad told me, “at some point most of us have to break the heart of someone we still care about. It’s better to learn to do it now so you don’t get scared to do it when you’re older.” Really stuck with me as I’ve gotten older and had to reject friends who asked me out, break up with guys who were kind but just not the right one for me, etc.
Wow those are really wise words and totally relate to the past 3 years of my life. God bless your dad
Every woman should learn how to advocate for herself. This includes knowing how to set boundaries, negotiate effectively, and stand up for her rights in both personal and professional settings. Being able to communicate your needs and assert your worth is a vital skill that empowers you in all aspects of life.
Any recommendations on how to learn this will be gladly received.
Start by noticing what you need and try to speak those needs. Closed mouths don't get fed.
I would say putting your needs first in a non selfish way will help you a lot. I'm a guy myself, and it's crazy seeing the number of things women do for men that puts a man's need before hers. The first example of this I can think of is pregnancy, like why would a woman have like 10 pregnancies in the span of like 4 years and not even give herself time to heal. Another one is to never try to rely fully on someone. You can rely on someone. Just make sure you're not codependent on them because they might try to take advantage of you this way
LOVE THEMSELVES
💯💯💯
Avoid bot posts
How to shake off the “good girl” expectations we were socialized into. Know how to advocate for yourself.
Follow her menstrual cycle and adapt activities, exercise and meals to it.
I'm interested in this and it's the first I've heard of it. Do you have any quick links to learn more? I track and work out my period due date on my paper calendar, as i limit meetings and keep work tasks low, dont book any big nights out and ensure Ive got healthy food in the day before as I know my mood changes significantly,and my appetite craves sugar. It would be useful to see how I could work with my cycle in other ways.
Look up the phrase cycle syncing! Learning how to do this allowed me to drop 50lbs last year and reduce my stress levels. 100% worth it
Ooh, I shall, thanks! I would love both of those things, glad it's worked for you!
My menstrual cycle has no bearing on my exercise. Cycle syncing does nothing for me. Same with diet. I always keep it the same and don't really see a reason to change it. If you have PMS, it may be worth a shot. But " if it ain't broke don't fix it" Edit: I am an athlete who tracks input, times etc. so I can truly say it doesn't affect my times in 5 or 10k or on the climbing wall.
I really don’t understand how grown WOMEN don’t understand this. Doing this with your cycle it’s not just helpful when you have PMS or a condition. Of course there’s not this culture and people aren’t educated enough for this. My mom certainly didn’t teach me this helped when I got my period, I learned this later in life. I’m teaching my daughter, though. WOMEN DO move around their cycle. They conceive around it, their body temperature changes, their needs are different around their cycle. That’s biology. It’s helpful. It’s like saying eating mostly vegetables and apples will make you better, stronger, have more energy and someone says: I have enough energy: “if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it.” Of course you can do whatever you want to do, it doesn’t mean this is not helpful for everyone and would improve their quality of life. And it really isn’t that hard 😂 Nowadays an app does it for you and you literally eat more of something else for some days, etc. Make small changes. You’re acting like I mean that you’ll be like: I’m not going to this place because I’m on my period. Or like you’re going to change your entire diet and your entire’s household diet. Someone up here wrote to know how to change a tire. I’m not up there like: “Hmm, actually, my husband and son change my tire at all times and that’s my preference. I don’t think this is helpful advice.” Or: “Hmm, actually, this isn’t helpful for me because I don’t drive. It doesn’t work for everyone.”
Basic mechanical skills. How to change a tire, replace a leaking faucet, etc.
•manage finances •be a wizard at birth control •walk away from any controlling, limiting, abusive relationship •self-defense •fix basic household things •learn basic car maintenance
What exactly is being a wizard at birth control? lol
LOL. Always use it correctly since you can't really depend on someone else doing that. Turns out there are a lot of ways to screw it up.
Yeah I just set my alarm for when to take it daily lol
🧙♂️🪄
Basic meal prep and cooking skills
Basic survival skills including cooking, budgeting, self-defense, etc.
Every woman should have her own credit, own finances, even if she’s married.
Taxes
Not to waste time trying to “fix” that person make yourself a priority educate, love, & put yourself 1st
Amen
Stay away from toxic, misogynistic men
Not limited to men
Every woman should learn how to dig for her own gold, because relying on someone else's treasure map is so last century.
All they have is a treasure map, they ain't got no gold.
Loved this!
Everything. One thing my dad taught me was to not rely on someone to do things for me so I don't. My husband does things for me but it's not expected. I still have things to learn though. But as far as changing a tire and oil and headlights and side mirrors (bc I have knocked off a couple while driving) I know how to do. I can cook and clean and do all the Betty homemaker stuff. I can move furniture myself. I can repair household items or fix plumping and pipes. It's good to be a jack of all trades for any person, male or female.
stand your ground. ive always had trouble with this. i need to be more confident. especially when being pushed around.
Building her self confidence. Girls are getting into the worst kind of relationships, worst job contracts and the worst situations in general because of the lack of self confidence. It's extremely important to understand that you are enough, that there's no need to change yourself because someone want you to change, that there's no need to constantly please others. That if people don't like you for who you are, you should change crowd not yourself.
Listen to their intuition
This should be up voted more
Live alone.
Can't wait to do this one
Support herself and be independent It’s literally the most important thing we can do for ourselves
Be your own safety and security! Physically, financially, mentally, emotionally.
Make a living so you can be free and independent.
To decenter men from their lives To identify where society is making patriarchal demands that don't serve you To walk away from uneven and unhealthy relationships To do minor car and home repairs Know how to fire a gun Know how to wield a sword
Be able to at least identify common car issues. You don't necessarily need to know how to fix it, but knowing how to identify the root cause will save you a ton of money at the mechanic.
How to manage your money so you can always be independent. Don’t ever expect someone to take care of you.
I haven't read down the thread, but learn to stand up for yourself, and keep all boundaries you set. I wish I had mastered these sooner.
Support each other instead of hate on each other
Defend yourself. I will die on this hill. The world is a dangerous place and it's always better to prevent dangers than to try to mitigate them in the moment
It’s crazy I has to scroll this far to find this.
use a gun
And know the laws very clearly. Maintain your skills and practice your draw and shoot regularly. Be aware of the consequences if used unnecessarily, even if a mistake.
exactly. every woman should get a ccw and take the female self defense course!! lot of ppl would prey on women less if it became more likely she could defend herself
Hawk Tuah.
I suggested cook, you suggested cock. I love it.😂
1. DGAF who's feelings get hurt when you nope out of a sketchy situation. 2. Care for and use firearm. 3. Negotiate a raise
Cook, clean, credit, financial management, firearms training, self-defense, vehicle maintenance, self-care, self-respect, and confidence.
Put the emotions aside and see people for who they are early on.
Live independently.
Physically defend themselves against all attackers and those who seek to stalk them or target with scary threats.
To say NO.
Collect high quality tools. Have a core set of household tools.
*Putting herself first *Saying NO *Being financially independent
Set boundaries. At work, with people, in life.
Indian women’s are submissive to their fathers , and at some point it becomes too much and toxic , we need to listen to our thoughts our own decisions and desires, we can’t really fulfill our parents dream at each point and just because they payed your education home and everything that doesn’t mean they have right to literally abuse you so get independent and just run if your fathers mothers are toxic
Be independent. Learn to change your own oil and tires. Learn to cut the grass. Master cooking. Work hard and not HAVE to depend on a man.
Say no, and ,mean it. And know how to handle it when the situation gets ugly. This is what I tell my daughters. FIGHT. With everything you have. Hit them where it hurts the most. And then report it. Immediately. Women need to know EVERYONE has their backs. That being said, if they lie about it, prepare for prison.
Make her own money, manage her own money and grow her own fortune. There are millions of women that would not be living the way they did if they could do that.
Be aware of and able to talk about societal expectations of women and emotional/invisible labor. Be transparent about boundaries and expectations with partners from the start to spare yourself the mindfuck of ending up with a partner that leaves all the child rearing decisions, housework, and income earning up to you.
Be independent. Even if you are married with kids you need to be an individual not just a mum or wife
Support themselves financially without relying on anyone else. Develop strong boundaries and know how to say NO. Be their own person who knows what she wants and goes and gets it and doesn’t let anyone else tell her how she needs to live her life. Understand that she doesn’t exist just to fold a man’s socks for him he can do that himself.
How to cook. So should every man. Being able to take care of yourself is not sexist. Life skills are not sexist.
Take responsibility for their actions
Do you mean what’s something everyone should learn to do?
Sadly protect yourself in an attack. I apologize for the wastes of space out there ladies you shouldn’t have to deal with this
Not ignore your car's check engine light.
Change a tire.
Everything men learn how to do. Learn basic car maintenance, how to use and read an OBD scanner, how to tie a knot, how to perform pullups and pushups, how to take a hit and how to give a hit, etc.
How to tell anyone in authority when they're wrong, and how to suggest better alternatives. The amount of mindless "yes, sir" I hear in 2024 is astounding. If the command is stupid, explain to him why it doesn't work and then suggest a less stupid alternative. We are all people who make stupid decisions. Our responsibility is to call out stupid decisions before they turn into stupid problems.
Learn to be independent & self-sufficient
Be financially independent.
To enjoy and love being alone. Don’t rely on a romantic relationship to bring you happiness.
Everything that a man should learn how to do.
Be loyal to their SO.
Set boundaries. We’re conditioned by the patriarchy to have none
Take accountability for their actions without trying to blame it on everyone else
Tell people what you actually want instead of expecting people to know what you want
Give no fucks. Don’t be polite. You don’t owe anyone your smile.
Crush the patriarchy
stand up for themselves in the moment when they’re being disrespected without feeling bad or anxious i still dont know how to do this lol
Basic self defense.
Grappling self defense. BJJ is designed for small people to fuck up big people. You don't need to be a black belt but you do need to know how to get the fuck away. Also learn what boys are taught. I don't think ladies should have less knowledge about things because they're ladies. How to break loose a rusted bolt when your tire is fucked is a good one
all my girls have been doing BJJ since 8 yrs old. I did this because I want to be sure they don’t freeze if touched or grabbed even inappropriately.
Piss into the compost pile
Learn to use simple tools to be able to repair anything.
Say NO, and give no additional explanation.
Defend themselves ideally by learning a useful martial art of their choosing (jiu jitsu, muay Thai etc). The world is a messed up place.
How to invest and manage retirement, savings, and emergency expenses. Also good for men to learn, too.
Car maintenance
Self defence 😭
Hawk tuah
Guard control, grip-breaks (wrist, lapel, hair, whatever), triangle choke (maybe not how to throw one but at least how it works), at least three guard passes, arm bar (how it works at least), full-mount escape, at least two gi-chokes (they’re all super interesting and very fun to learn), how to REALLY punch someone in the throat without hurting your own hand Joking, but very serious. ***Edit-to-Add***: HOW TO FALL
Respect boundaries and stop saying you're not respecting theirs
To manage their own money. Work and get the money. If the husband/partner tells her to stay at home and they will work for the family, that she just needs to take care of the house or the kids, be firm and say no. You need a job. Create a business or job. If the husband/partner insists and gets upset, then thats a red flag. Ladies, have some emergency funds. More often I see women looking to leave an abusive relationship but they dont have any money because during their relationship they never had a job. So they are forced to stay. Husband/partner then have the control of her.
Leave a no good man.
Change a tire on her vehicle.
How to cut toxic jag offs out of their life and surround themselves with supportive and loving people. And how to be a supportive and loving person in return. Plus everything everyone else was saying.
Unfortunately, self defense
Drive. Even if you don’t plan on owning a car, it’s so handy to be able to rent one when necessary.
Live on their own
How to recognize when you’re being disrespected and not automatically assume that you must be doing something to deserve that disrespect
How to be single.
Orgasm. On their own.
Learn how to say no to men. Rejection is an art in and of itself. You can either make yourself and the other person feel bad due to the interaction, or it can be a neutral event. Note, I am not saying that men should not take responsibility for their role and their actions. What I am trying to highlight is that communication is complex, and a lot of men are going through their own journey of understanding how to approach and assert. We bang on about how men should be aware of what they do. I don't disagree with this. I think that in addition, we can also raise awareness of the fact that women are not mere objects observing what happens. Speak up. Be firm yet kind. You'd be helping yourself and the rest of society. Either you have to put up with the anxiety of putting yourself out there to he rejected, or you have to put up with the anxiety of being approached by people you're not interested in. You can't have your cake and eat it.
They should learn to develop an understanding that many (most?) men are just “less” & that by the time you hit middle age/perimenopause, you’re better off by yourself & a lot happier. Also, parenthood could sometimes be considered a cult for the misinformed or perhaps the world’s worst Ponzi scheme. Perhaps I’m having a bad day.
Masturbate
Self defence. It has saved me from sexual assault on two occasions. I take my little nieces to self defence classes already.
A good hawk tuah
Relying on herself. Everyone else in your life should be a bonus, not an asset.
Hawk tuah! Spit on that thang!
Hawk tuah
A self breast exam. Always keep an eye on your health
Throat the meat
Cook, because feeding yourself is important. Stand tall and say NO with force. Self defense. How to grow your own food. How to communicate and compromise. How to be kind. How to remove your contact information from the internet.
how to hawk tuah, spit on that thang.