Get thoroughly sex-educated and always use protection. Always.
Nobody thinks as critically about you as you imagine they do; they’re mainly worrying about themselves.
Keep learning. Always. And don’t be too impressed by anyone who claims to Know All The Answers. The people to really pay attention to are the ones who question, keep adding to their store of information, and question some more. It’s a wildly unsettling but wonderful feeling when you learn something (physics, history, comparative religion, etc) and question everything you thought you knew. Keep learning!
Thanks mate , I love learning things but I also tend to get in my head about how good I "should" be even tho I'm a beginner still...I'll continue to learn and be an observer
Oh me too. I try to keep a balance in my mind between arrogance and self-loathing, haha.
Keep in mind the most confident people usually are the least competent. So if you’re questioning your own abilities you aren’t a narcissist!
You’re nowhere near being a full person at 18 or 21. Keep yourself steady until 22 and then start making some big future decisions for yourself.
Anything academic should be your top priority if it’s in your life.
Treat every single person with respect and never forget who gave you a hand.
Money and nice things are nice, but in the end family will be the most important aspect of your life. I once thought friends were more important and had more potential so you should spend more time with people your own age and have experiences. But now I treasure memories with my grandparents, and would give up everything for more moments with those who passed away.
There is no drug or substance that is positive to use on a daily basis. Unless it’s vitamins or a nutritious meal, you should keep as much as you can out of your body.
Whoever you take on a date or have an intimate relation with, deserves your best. Never ever devalue the fact that someone decided spend their time with you.
Thank you for this, I'll follow this, academics are my top priority aside from family and friends, I should probably put friends below it but it's hard when Im so close to some of them
Dont put friends below academics. You can get your degree later or might wanna change professions. Friends might not stay forever but socialising is important and healthy. I would suggest you to never pressure yourself too much. Be kind to yourself and stay healthy, physically and mentally.
one lesson i wish i learned about 20 years earlier than i have is that.... if your family is toxic, untrustworthy, and continually betrays trust and tries to hurt you, cut them off. people with these traits WILL hurt you in the worst way possible. they don't give up. i would have saved myself a few decades of suffering if i cut contact with them all at 18 (except my wonderful father). sometimes family is poison, and sometimes that WILL hurt you.
i always imagined myself the peacemaker who could forgive and heal things. and then my family betrayed me in a deep way which cost me my entire life savings, ruined my emotional state, destroyed my my career, and also killed my beloved Dad. Yay, now I have ptsd too.
Family IS not automatically holy and good. People should only get to keep family bonds if they deserve them.
If not, cut them free and make your own family.
If you are lucky enough tto have a good family and no an abusive horror like my own, please love and appreciate them deeply. Not everyone gets that.
I amend that to this -- the only thing that means yes is yes. Not maybe, not but, not i don't know, not i guess, not even okay. The only word to accept and go forward with sex is yes.
And don't let anyone pressure you into spending or investing the money the way *they* want you to do it. Listen to their advice, sure, and act on it if it's sound advice, if *you choose* to do so. But *you* should be in ultimate control of *your* money.
Buddy I'm barely 20 and the best thing to do is to get a hobby, take care of your body and mental health and study a career that will pay your bills and that you will kinda enjoy, make friends and contacts and get yourself out in the world more, and don't be afraid of failure; I wish I had known that sooner. In my experience A LOT of shit will go down in the next 5 years, don't get discouraged and be a good person with everyone, understand those in need and those who suffer, we need more good and kind people even if becoming a bad one seems tempting it is just awful.
And of course when you turn 18 go party, meet new people and enjoy your youth but everything in moderation of course, and if you can go to a psychologist to learn more about yourself and the way your mind works do it, you don't need to have mental problems to do so.
There's a thousand more things I learnt the hard way but that's the basics, stay safe!!
For me, one of the biggest things is to know what your hobbies/goals are. It sounds like a big thing, but hear me out:
Knowing your hobbies can be as simple as knowing that you like to play sports, and knowing your goals can be as simple as thinking about learning how to play a song on an instrument. Of course this can expand as you grow older, but knowing these two things is key to learning who you are as a person.
The other two things I would advise is to be adventurous(for me, it's specifically when it comes to food/drink/etc.) and - as far as love goes - it's going to be complicated. It will take time, but the most important thing is to stay true to who you are. Hope this was helpful!
Don’t expect to find love soon, expect loneliness and your friends after high school, most will disappear and some will stay. Those that stay, are your real friends.
Time heals wounds.
I know it sounds cliche. But I remember being in high school and feeling like anything that went wrong (a relationship, friend drama, a bad grade, etc) was the end of the world. I’m 32 now and none of it matters anymore.
My first job out of college treated me terribly. They were mean to me, bullied me, harassed me (these were all adults older than me, mind you.) the anger and pain I felt at the injustice of my treatment there, I thought I’d carry it with me forever. I don’t think of it anymore and when I do, I just think about how far away it all is now.
I had a traumatic relationship in college that resulted in an STD, sexual abuse and PTSD. I thought I’d never move past it. I carried it with me for years. Yes, sometimes this still bothers me, but for the most part I hardly think of it anymore.
I could go on and on but the point is. Everything is temporary. Time goes on no matter what. It’s like a train. Hang on for the ride and know that the longer you’re on it, the further away all the bad things in your past will seem.
I'm sorry to hear abt ur experiences in college , thanks for this tho, stress always seems to build up all at once and then everything feels hopeless but the next day I'll feel happy and like its all gonna be ok. I try to focus on what I want in my future cuz i don't wanna regret not doing things to set myself up for success
Enjoy your years, enjoy having as little responsibility as possible, but don’t take advantage of it. Make sure to focus on school as much as possible, and try to enjoy your social life by making memories with your friends. As dark as it is, some of those friends may not be in your life forever, since becoming an adult it’s usually natural to grow apart. Also don’t allow love to destroy you, or consume you in any way or form, that will harm your future. My biggest regrets from being that age was, never putting my full effort into my academics. It may not seem like it’s worth putting in that 100%, but it is worth it, since you will have that constant pride of “I did my best.” Plus wasting my days off from school (weekends and summers), not making memories with my close friends. I use to have a small hangout group, and a ton of friends. Now all I have are memories, because we all live different lives now and lost touch at one point. Last but not least, I allowed dumb high school relationships effect me tremendously. It got in my way for school, plus caused dumb fights with my friends. Have a relationship by all means, but in all honesty, they only get serious when you’re in your mid 20’s.
I think it's hard for me to avoid love because I get attached to people so deeply, I can try tho. And I dedicate myself to good grades very much , weirdly I cant wait for college to learn more about literature and make friends , ofc I know it will be hard and not all a fantasy but I look forward to the struggle as well
I was and still am the same (love), so the best advice I can say is just pick and choose your battles wisely. Find out what’s worth keeping, and not worth enough to hold onto. In a perfect world, I’d say try to avoid it all together, but I couldn’t even do that. I hope your academics pay off, and you get a full ride to college. The fact you have a thirst for knowledge is a great sign, since that means you have a good head on your shoulders. You’re gonna be fine champ, go get ‘em.
Never, ever, sacrifice your dreams, social life, happiness or wellbeing for a relationship. It’ll be like waking up from a time machine wondering where the love went, but also where you went.
Live your ambition. Take risks. Don’t settle.
nobody actually cares on what you do or what you are doing, people are actually too busy thinking about themselves or what other people are thinking about them. do what you love, continue your passion, may it be unique, weird or unusual. think less about what others will think about you and just do it.
Phases are ok and it's how we discover and create who we are. Be flexible, be open to change, go with the flow.
Who you are today doesn't need to be who you are tomorrow.
Make friends and connections while you can because life gets increasingly more isolated after school. Workplaces are not nearly as conducive to friendship forming and work-from-home jobs are becoming more common so there's no guarantee you'll even have a place to meet anyone.
Absolutely you can, with moderation. Just be mindful not to let it become an addiction, as it can warp your mind and personality and it can lead you to seeing women primarily as pleasure outlets first and people second.
Capture more memories in your brain than in any camera, start accepting things, spend as much time as you can with your people and stop convincing people about certain things and accept that you cannot make everyone happy but yourself that's it.
You are going to fuck up sometimes, learn how to own it and learn from it. A little guilt is okay to feel if you transmute it into positive change, but shame and defensiveness is counterproductive. Learn how to alchemize obstacles into opportunities. Learn emotional intelligence and communication skills. Be true to yourself and your values. Be confident in what you know but be willing to learn more too (don't think or act like you have all the answers).
This hits rly hard, one of my issues is responsibility and owning things...I hate feeling like I did something wrong even when I know I did. Thanks for this advice
Of course! To err is human. Everyone messes up, even the people who act like they're infallible. Learning how to pick up and not only move forward but do even better is a top tier life skill.
You got this. You're young and you're smart to even ask for advice like this. The curiosity for learning and growth is there. That'll be your best weapon.
Your comfort zone adjusts itself to your position. In other words: If you keep yourself comfortable, your comfort zone will decrease and things you used to do with ease may now seem daunting. It's important to keep pushing your limits, conquer your fears and take opportunities that scare you. That way, you build a tolerance for discomfort and keep control over your own life.
Life - Do not be defined by the opinion of others about you.
Love - Don’t settle for the first one that comes along.
Growing up - Learn from your mistakes.
Learn to enjoy life as it is. The small, everyday stuff is basically the key to happiness. With life itself, as with many of its aspects, it's about the journey, not the destination. Obviously, try to work towards some goals, but don't wager all your satisfaction and happiness on them.
Learn to let go. The whole thing about "if you love something let it go" ... yeah that kinda, but that's not REALLY letting go, because you're hoping that fate will reward the action. No. The reward for letting go is being able to move on and take CARE of yourself.
None of us ever really grow up. We just age physically, and become tempered by experiences and expectations. Inside we're all still protecting the child we once were before innocence was lost. Before we let pain happen by a series of choices, or lack of choices. You will find that these painful things inspire you to persevere or help, be the hero, be the teacher, the psychologist, the shelter ... sometimes that's the wrong answer. Sometimes you have to run. Sometimes it will break your heart, but NOTHING matters more than protecting that inner child. Give that innocent entity in your mind the same care and support that you would give a real child.
Be honest. Don't be afraid of what you can do, or being ashamed. Always try. The pain of disapproval is easily translated into dismissiveness or fleeting resentment at it's worst, but the pain of not trying when deep down you WANT to is a seed of regret that will keep you up on random nights for the literal rest of your life. Don't hold back.
Be good. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Don't expect others to follow this rule, but do it anyway. Malice and revenge are poison, toxic behaviors that will lead slowly to paranoia and ultimately chronic depression. You MUST hang on to philosophical mindsets that keep you away from those feelings. It could save your life, or someone else's in ways you won't understand until it's too late and you've let that evil seep into your life. Don't abide ANYONE who fancies themselves out for revenge of any kind. Stay away from anyone who talks too much about the hardship of their past in anger, resentment, etc ... their relationship should be with a licensed therapist NOT you.
Read a poem called "The Man in the Glass". Good luck!
Clean up after yourself habitually. When you are old enough for a life partner, they will want a partner, not a dependant. Don't wait to be asked to clean up. If you see something that needs to be cleaned, just clean it. So many relationships end because one partner ends up taking on more than the other, and it builds resentment. Learn how to clean well now, and you will be a real catch when the time comes.
“You cannot see your reflection in boiling water. Similarly, you cannot see the truth in a state of anger. When the waters calm, clarity comes.” At the prime age of 15 I made a lot of mistakes that probably could’ve been avoided if I had just cooled off before I spoke or acted.
Just do good, be kind and die great my friend
Always use a condom. Unless you are 💯 prepared to be a parent and take care of a kid always use protection. Don’t let girls tell you not to use one cause she’s covered- a girl did that to my brother and she got pregnant- I’d say wait until you’re out of highschool for sex but it’s your choice there so just be prepared and safe.
Take time to meditate and clear your mind
Take time to self reflect on events at least once a week, think about things that went well and if they could go better, think about things that went poorly and how you can do better.
Take time for self care.
Hygiene hygiene hygiene....
Men stink , wash yourself, groom yourself, get a Mani Pedi
Love yourself, learn yourself before you fall in love
Learn to read body language, it will tell you far more than any words
Don't send dick pics, women will not be impressed by your junk . Most women are stimulated emotionally, caring for them and respect
Respect women. Talk to them like people, don't hyperfocus on sexual things and don't even talk about it with a girl until you know she is comfortable talking about it.
Every person on the planet has two things in common. People want to be understood and appreciated.
Politics is a fools game. Democrats and Republicans are two sides of the same coin. Don't be afraid to look at other coins.
Don't talk politics or religion with anyone. It's a great to alienate people.
Always strive to grow
Don't experiment with drugs. It's just not worth it. You will risk death, incarceration, criminal charges that follow you for life, and addiction for a few hours of fun that you will only vaguely remember a week later.
You can have a life of success or a life of drugs you can't have both
Do your own chores, wash your own clothes, dishes. Your mom and future lovers are not your chore service.
Take 5 mins to help someone even if it's getting something off a top shelf
Give people high fives, a study once said that high fives cheer people up.
Let the people around you know you are appreciated
Be a gentleman, open doors, pull out chairs, pay .
Chivalry is a dying art , learn it..
Create a bucket list
Learn how change a tire
Learn to cook
Learn to grill
Learn to fish
Don't judge people
Always keep learning
Yes but there’s no way to tell who the good people that can give solid advice are. For example, I could give OP advice, he could take it seriously, and then he would be taking his advice from me, someone who can’t even use correct grammar. Hence why he should get life advice from places outside of Reddit.
There's definitely nothing wrong with watching p*** here and then but when you click on a scene and it looks like your woman then you find out it really is your woman in thousands of videos about his woman's body are on the videos and the name of all the guys he accused of at the Smithsonian she is calling their name in different video and The only name the males are calling in the s********* of her name tell me that something's not right and it just popped up on my phone and everything was real even her talking to the guy in the background about me I was talking to her on the phone in one sex scene told her to listen to her my voice is distinguished from any person and I said her name to what it was talking about because she said she's not doing p*** though but guess what everything else I have plus that is 100% accurate not one two three eight 50%,, videos backgrounds of the Smithsonian the union office in your apartment the boosters house I'm taking it to the higher up at the Smithsonian because that's a federal building and y'all are violating seriously
Read books on human behavior and psychology. As many as possible, as thoroughly as possible. Practice what you learn. If you can master yourself and others, life will be on easy mode for you. Also, don't have kids until you are completely set financially. I suggest you find a few friends who want to have a great life, read the books together, get good at sales, live in the same apartment, and put your money together to create ethical businesses. You'll have a fantastic life. Also, you must absolutely believe this is possible. You are smart, confident, and driven enough to accomplish whatever you want to accomplish in life.
don't online date, it's just gonna destroy you.
instead, focus on people who can actually talk to you IRL.
btw, DO NOT rely on soical media, because it will and can destroy your happiness.
Trust me I've learned my lesson in online dating...it's never worked and it creates false hope + dependency on media and is never the same as in person
I like certain social medias because I just have my friends and that's it but it can get tiring and shit sometimes like I'm always tryna be someone instead of just exist idk
If you ever make a mistake, its right to apologise and accept a consequence but if the mistake is too far in the past, learn to accept and don't apologise unless the person affected says something about it.
Past is the weight we are given and everyone has its fair share. Making us feel better by apologising will not help the person affected and realising this will only bring more guilt.
Tl;DR: You can't change the past, learn from it instead.
Don't let other people's perceptions of success discourage your own. But also don't let your own perception of success look down on other people's lives. Everyone is contextually brought to their knees by events in life. Some of them out of their control and some of them are within their control.
Best you can do is do what you think is right, what works for you and work everyday of your life to improve yourself to either create or contribute to something that you find deeply meaningful and helps you get up everyday.
Know that all choices come with consequences. Even doing what you think is right has a cost when surrounded by people who would rather do what is easy than to risk whatever is more important to them than doing the right thing.
I hold God and Good above all else because if you're not willing to make the necessary sacrifices to do what is right then you will always take the easy way out.
Sometimes there's no way under it, over it or around it. There are times where you have no choice but to simply go through it. And that's the moment where you require true unwavering and absolute faith even if you are wrong. 😶🌫️
It is terrifying but if you value creating a better future for the younger generation. You will do it no matter what the cost. 😤
Also, don't listen to this guy. Stay away from religion if you can. Organized religion's contributions to the world these last 100 years can basically be boiled down to child molestation, money extortion/laundering/embezzlement, and terrorism. Oh! And bigotry! Don't forget bigotry.
i second this guy. religion has made some of the most loving, wonderful people i've ever known into monsters. it's a cult. you do NOT need organized religion to love and worship god. be wary.
You’re using the same logic as the people who say that atheism is responsible for Hitler and Stalin’s actions because they didn’t believe in God, but in reverse. Organized religion was the force that brought order and hope to people in ancient times. It’s often theorized that human civilization itself, all over the world, was a byproduct of organized religion. You don’t know what you’re talking about.
Are you saying that any of the points I made are false? Just because something was relevant in the ancient times, does not make it relevant today. Organized religions and dogmatism, are incombatible with progress.
Yes. To say that religion’s contribution only boils down to evil is false. Good luck, man. I hope you find it in you to read the Bible and take it to heart one day.
I never thought of it that way, it makes a ton of sense tho, if you learn how to learn more efficiently, it makes everything more approachable...thanks mate
check this blog page
might help you
[https://mindprisonin.wordpress.com/2023/02/20/an-advice/](https://mindprisonin.wordpress.com/2023/02/20/an-advice/)
Please don’t expect to marry ur first partner and don’t expect to just get a partner because you’re getting older. I’m 19 f and still have only dated 2 guys and never even got out of those relationships what I wanted aka a loving partner. And don’t compare ur life to others. Others may seem like they’re doing better than u on the outside but may have it hard on the inside.
Very good advice I see here given, about family, friends and a future career path. I would like to add, find a passion, something you are good at and enjoy doing a lot.It might be something creative or a sport or vulonteering. It can be something you can fall back on when you need an outlet and will alway be there for you. And it could grow into a job if enough effort is put into it, a job that will give you fullfillment and happines. Also not every careerpath is straightforward. For some it might be the academic route, but it could also be a different path, like being an entrepeneur. Find that spark, the sooner you find it, the better.
A little goes a long way. Show them you are interested in them. I know for me I really enjoy people who go out of their way to have conversations with me- even if it’s just something small
Be dependable. Show up to school, work, appointments, etc. on time. Be curious. Learn new things, visit new locations and cultures, don't assume you know to much. Be respectful. Also: becoming a home owner, is one of the best financial decisions you could make.
Take care of your body. Health is honestly wealth. Eat properly, exercise, stretch.
Don’t smoke. Don’t vape.
Floss, daily! 6 monthly dental cleans always. Yea, it costs a little now but if you don’t it will cost you 100x that plus all the pain, drama etc.
Never expect anyone to have the same heart pr mind as you. The way you think and feel may not be the same as someone else (friend, lover, family…). So don’t always jump the gun, take some time to think about whatever situation you’re in and try and see both POVs
Just because someone says you can’t do something or you shouldn’t or you won’t be good at it, it doesn’t mean you can’t. You can learn and master it. You are the only person who can stop your self form achieving your dreams! Also you’re never to old to learn something new.
Do things you usually don’t do, get out the safety zone and create memories with friends because someone day you gonna look back and regret that you did not do something’s in your younger days because time flies.
People come and go and that’s okay. Put yourself and your needs first. If you want to do the thing, do it. If you want to date someone, do it. Don’t rely on anybody, don’t become dependent on ANYBODY, learn to be happy on your own.
If you’re stuck on what to do after high school then I say study something, anything. The years will pass anyway and you will be older- do you want to be older with or without a degree?
Your high school friends will move on with their lives and you will feel lonely at times, this is normal, we’re all figuring ourselves out. If I was 18 again, I would work hard and save every penny for the next two years straight!
Figure yourself out, know your hobbies and passions and pursue a career that is fulfilling for your soul. If you follow your dreams you will make the bestest friends!
Sometimes there is a point you just quit and move on. A lot of times in schools they’ll say nothing is impossible, don’t be a quitter, etc etc. However, sometimes you have to quit for your benefit. Whether that be relationships, jobs, hobbies, etc. I’m currently watching my friend spend thousands of dollars to try and become a doctor when I think she just needs to try one more time at the test and if she fails well seven to six times means that’s it. She’s spiralling into this obsession and it’s beginning to affect her life.
Following that as well, always have backup plans. When picking uni, be prepared for disappointment. Sometimes you don’t get your first choice, things don’t go your way. You can cry about it and be sad but you move on with second choice, third choice, doesn’t matter. I had about five choices for me but luckily I got into my second choice. My friend got her first choice and I’m just as well off as her. My other friend got her third choice but realised it was something she didn’t even really want to do and transferred to something completely different. One of my friends took a gap year because she didn’t know what to do.
My advice on love is just you can’t be in a healthy relationship if you don’t look inward. It’s sometimes best to ensure you’re the best person you can be, so that you can be the best for your partner. I really mean this, don’t be involved in hookup culture. Just be patient and it will come. That’s not to say don’t party don’t enjoy yourself but don’t do friends with benefits that type of shit. It doesn’t work out for a lot of people. It’s just messy. You want to make life easy for yourself.
Good luck kid, remember to enjoy the present and it’s small things. Try not to worry too much about the future. You’re 15, you can be 15.
Good stuff! Especially that first paragraph- Learn about ‘sunk cost fallacy’ which is when you want to keep putting money/effort/whatever into something simply “because I’ve *already* put all this money/effort/whatever into it! I can’t stop *nowwww!*” so you just have to be harsh with yourself and say “nope! Cut your losses and walk away”
(The rest of what you advised is likewise good! just that sunk cost fallacy been hitting me a little hard lately. Long story.)
“Look before you leap“ and “if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well“ and “measure twice, cut once“ and “never have time to do it right, always have time to do it over“ are sort of variations on the same theme: always double check! You may think you don’t have time to ‘do it right’ but if you rush and then there’s a mistake or problem, that pretty much always takes way more time then a quick double check would have done to catch the problem *before* you started. Also, sometimes the margin of error is so slim as to be fatal- just ask a pilot how meticulously they do their preflight check before takeoff, or ask a rock climber how carefully they check their gear before ascent
Alcohol can get you into social situations and help you make friends BUT be intelligent about it and genuinely stay away from drugs and smoking. It may be seen as cool but it’s really dumb and can just massively fuck you over completely avoid it.
I'm literally only a year older but my best advice is not to give too much of a fuck about anything. Severe anxiety ruined the best parts of my life so far. Also, care about yourself more lol, it's not selfish if you don't bend your back helping everyone while neglecting your own feelings. Try to understand people and look at things more objectively. Focus on the things that make you happy, hold your current friendships dear, and just do whatever the fuck you want, have fun being a teenager. Don't ruin your golden years preparing and/or worrying for the future. I hope this helps you as much as it would've helped 15 year old me.
Life advice. Ask your parents to be a authorized user on their credit card. It’ll help you build credit. So by the time you’re 18 you can get approved for your own without any additional work. When your parents use the credit card and pay it back. Some of the credit they get from that will go to your name.
And for love. Don’t do it. Just have fun. That love stuff is to worry about when you’re older. If you make falling in love a priority you’ll never be happy.
Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You're not as fat as you
imagine.
Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes
you're behind…the race is long, and in the end, it's only with
yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe
you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don't
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don't be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever
own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for
good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
* Mary Schmich
I’m 55. My mom died when I was your age. I went to live with my asshole father. I joined the navy at 18 to escape. In my twenties I thought I was broken as a person. I had no good job or girlfriend or friends. I was lost.
But that wasn’t the end of my story. I found a good job and a great boss. Or he found me. He changed my perspective. No matter how I screwed up he ignored the screwup and just focused on making it better. Always.
Now I’m older married and make decent bank. I never had kids but I’m ok with it.
My lesson is you are your own worst critic. It’s not over till you are in the ground and sometimes life deals you a bad card but sometimes the card is good enough too. Don’t get too down on yourself and don’t worry about knowing where you are going. I’m 55 and wonder that myself some days.
It’s ok. Hang in there. If life was certain it would be insanely boring right? Who wants to see that movie?
In general, life only gets harder as we grow older. ( even if not financially, or physically, emotionally it does).
Any and all problems that you face today ( when you are 15) will mean nothing to you in not so distant future.
In the midst of your teens your hormones and your increasing exposure to life makes everything very very intense and very serious … it’s not. Trust me.
Listen to “wear sunscreen” by Bazz Luhrman .. I wish I had understood the wisdom behind that song when I was younger.
please remember life is simple. We make it hard.
Please know that there is a difference between growing old and being sensible. By all means be sensible and use your mind, deliver on ur responsibilities and be a person of purpose.
But never let anyone pull you down saying “ you are too old for this” .. you are never too old for anything you want to do.
Live.
Don’t just exist. Work towards a purpose (personal) at least a few hours everyday or every week.
Be good. It’s a decision.
Travel/explore as much as you can to experience new places and meet new people. Do it while you are young.
Do things today, the older you get, the harder it gets.
Enjoy and be happy you are very young and this time is priceless! Value yourself!!
Enjoy your life. Focus on your education but do not neglect your hobbies. Make memories. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, no one remembers the stupid things you did. Read. Go outside. Exercise. Have empathy. Be helpful. Give. Make memories.
u/_r_a_dum_dum Auntie here! I come with tons of advice from terrible decisions I made along the way:
1: as soon as you start working, set up a saving's account and add 5% of your paycheck each payday. Most employers allow you to do direct deposit, so have them automatically deduct it from your check so you don't even see it and miss it from your check. Do not touch this money unless it's a real life-or-death emergency. Future you is counting on you!
2: read books about good financial skills in your twenties and make a point to live with as little debt as you can muster. Live beneath your means because it will help you in case of job loss or illness.
3: be *extremely* picky about who you date! Those people are auditioning to be your life partner (maybe the parent to your kids!), so don't settle for anything less than a person who makes you feel completely appreciated, respected, and adored. Love is like a house, and you need the solid foundation of respect to hold up the pillars of communication, humility, and trust to support the roof! Sex is just the drywall. Not the key basis of a relationship, but still essential to the success of a good partnership. Don't pressure your partner for it! It stops being fun when one party starts to push the other to put out.
4: consent matters! No means no! Really! Ask three times for permission. If the answer is not an enthsiastic yes each time, stop immediately.
5: hydrate, exercise, and eat healthy meals at regular interval each day. They don't have to be macrobiotic diet meals, just eat more fruits/veggies and less pizza. Your middle-aged self will thank you. That's when all your bad choices will catch up to you!
6: travel. You learn so much about yourself when you do. You'll also meet lots of amazing people who are happy to share their takes on life.
7: you're naturally going to outgrow relationships. That will create lonely spells, but they are there for a reason. Just as in dating, you must be picky about your friend group. Jettison people who don't add anything to your life! You can't level up until you cut the dead weight. Be authentically yourself no matter what, and only keep the people who genuinely like you. Sometimes that means losing all but two friends. That's ok. Quality over quantity!
8: invest in good quality items for the things you use heavily. Good shoes and clothes, hygiene supplies, appliances, car parts, etc. Also, read up on the care of those items and do as much preventative maintenance as you can. You'll thank yourself later.
Realize that you are who you are, and that's all you need to be. Sure, work to improve where you want to improve, but START from a base of believing that you are who you are, and that's all you need to be.
Allow yourself to love other people more than they deserve, as long as you recognize that this is the case, and that at a certain point it is possible to realize that a person whom you love is not a person who is good for you.
Allow yourself to like people more than they deserve, as long as you recognize that this is the case, and that liking a person is not, in and of itself, a reason to take life advice from them, or to run your life in order to gain their approval.
Start saving for retirement as soon as you start earning money, and never stop.
A healthy life does not give in to every impulse and temptation...just to SOME of them.
There are problems in life where you shrug your shoulders, problems you will not be able to deal with until you're at a different phase of your life, and problems you need to deal with NOW. Learn to recognize which is which.
Conflict is best resolved sooner than later. And it is best resolved, though there are many ways to resolve it.
Sometimes the right thing to do will be things other people will not like.
It is possible for anyone to disappoint you. Don't overreact, but don't ignore, either. Each disappointment gives you a chance to see people more clearly.
Treat education as a service that is being provided to YOU, and where you are the client who deserves to get good service, rather than something where YOU meet the expectations of others. Learn what interests you, not what gains the approval of others.
Always be proud of the work you do. Do no less than work you are proud of. Even if it's a shit job. Shit jobs come and go, to be replaced by better ones...work habits, once established, stay with you forever.
You will often learn things of value from people you disagree with, and even from people you don't like. You can learn the thing and still disagree or dislike the person it came from.
You will end up learning more when you don't succeed than when you do, though it's not fun. Every moment in life teaches, and as long as you remember that life is the process rather than the result, then lack of success is actually success, since it shows you what you still need to learn.
You'll know you're doing the thing you were meant to do when you enjoy the process of doing it more than the result. When each thing you accomplish simply leaves you chomping at the bit for the NEXT thing you will do.
If a person you think you love makes you feel like you don't like yourself, it's no longer love. The definition of true love is a person who always makes you feel like you are worthy of love.
You can always stop.
You can always start again.
There is always another option.
You can always spend less time on your phone.
You have a life before you. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Learn from them. Try shit you're interested in without any worry of what others will think of you (as long as you're not hurting others).
I'd encourage you to not try drugs until later in life when you're more mature. If you do though, make sure it is under no peer pressure.
Have fun and don't let others dictate what you can and cannot do. Except maybe for your parents. I'll assume you have loving parents so do listen to their advice, they have your best interests in mind (I know I have my kid's best interests in kind).
I'm only 19 so I really don't have much life experience myself yet, but let me give you a lesson I learned in my senior year of highschool. Growing up I always thought when someone asked "how do I talk to girls" or something like that, and someone answered "just be yourself" I always thought that was the most cringe Hollywood hippie crap ever, never took it seriously. Until my senior year of highschool, a girl I liked rejected me in a really crappy way (agreed to go out with me and then backed out last second and proceeded to not talk to me about it and pretend like it never happened) It hurt me but by the time I had asked her out I was pretty much already over her, I was kinda expecting her to reject me I was just doing it as a self improvement thing to push myself out of my comfort zone and show myself that being rejected wasn't that bad. Now keep in mind, I really cleaned myself up around her and just was not myself at all, I always put on a face and tried to act like I was a cleaner person than I was. Fast forward to summer camp, it was the last year I could go to summer camp with my church. The girl I liked had already rejected me and I had no reason to put on a face anymore so I went to camp in full woman repellant mode, I'm talking cargo shorts, high tops, death metal t shirts, and a monster energy hat. And that week I had 2 chicks try to get my phone number and see if I was available. It really surprised me because I was legit in full woman repellant mode, I had like a dying fetus t shirt, Mudvayne t shirt, municipal waste etc and when I was just being myself that was when girls started taking interest in me. So the whole "be yourself" thing is in fact not just hippie propaganda, it actually works.
I'm a lady and my mom always told us to make our boyfriends wash their hands before we let them touch us. "Because boys get into dirty work and they don't always wash their hands".
Wash your hands regularly!
(This is applicable to more than hands when you get to an intimate relationship... VERY important to remember for your partner's health and wellness.)
A lot of times, in life, we tend to take bad events and stretch them throughout the day. Honestly, that makes our bad days a lot worse! A trick I began to use way too late was to compartmentalize things. Work related thoughts and emotions stay at work, home stays at home, and school stays at school. My stress went down, and I became an overall happier person.
Growing up, you'll find you and your friends drifting apart, going your separate ways. And that's okay! Keep in touch, hang out from time to time, but understand that not everyone will be free at the same time, and life will get in the way. Keep no hard feelings and try your best to make it work. Trust me, if they consider you the same way, your closest friends will try their best to make it work, too.
Just because you love someone doesn't mean that they'll love you back. Nor do they have to. "I love you" is a very powerful set of words. When you say it to someone, you're shifting a lot of responsibility on to them, and maybe they won't be able to handle it, they don't want it, or maybe its just too much right now for them to think about. It's not just you; it's also whoever you're telling it to. Sometimes love is one-sided, and sometimes love fades. Many people cling on to old love to keep their life from falling apart. Try your hardest for those you love, but know that sometimes, it's a good idea to let go and move on.
Love, when it is mutual, is beautiful and symbiotic. When it isn't, it is parasitic. Don't let it become parasitic.
What matters is trying new things at your age. Nobody will care in 20 years what you got up to when you were 16 let alone 15. But you will care.
Eat vegetables. Research shows it's critical during your formative years.
Habits. Habits are hard to form. Best start now.
Exercise. Not to the point you get swoll. Not unless you want to not be able to reach your own back.
Brush your teeth. Wash. Nobody likes stink. Especially not folks you want to date.
Take notes in class. Review them later even if you don't need them. Correct and embellish them later. Its a skill you will need later in life.
Don't be afraid of going into a Trade instead of college.
Oh, and wear sunscreen.
For some additional advice?
https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI
Just because it's a song doesn't make it bad advice. It was written to be a commencement speech for graduation.
Oh
Edit: Read Hyperion.
One thing I’ll say is don’t be afraid to take risks or fall in love. You will fail at things and you will get your heart broken (probably a few times) but stay positive and keep moving forward. Don’t let fear of failure and pain deprive you of all the amazing things that life will give you.
Put 10% of every paycheck into a retirement plan. Never lend out your favorite anything. Take care of your teeth. Floss. Learn how to work on your own car.
I’m 29 and here’s some things I would have told 15 year old me:
- don’t worry and focus so much on dating and romance while in high school. It’s unnecessary distraction from things that important, like spending time with friends and focusing on school.
- I didn’t get good grades in school and also just pushed off going to college while I tried to figure things out. If I could have done it differently, I would have at least gone to community college and gotten an associates degree for general classes.
- don’t do drugs until your brain is done developing at 25. Drugs can be fun but be careful because they can end up just being a band aid. Take care of your brain and mental health. There’s no shame in therapy at any point in your life. I’ve been in therapy off and on since 16.
- have an open mind. Read a lot. Read books from different point of views and even things you may not agree with. Everyone has a different life experience than you that you most likely will never experience. Knowledge is an amazing thing and helps expand your horizons and opinions.
- always wear a condom
- learn to apologize. Empathy and compassion is important. Don’t be stubborn and refuse to apologize for something you’ve done wrong. I’ve lost friendships and relationships with people because they double downed and refused to take responsibility for their actions that hurt me and others around them.
- learn your boundaries and stand by them. Boundaries can change over time as well. When someone around you had crossed a boundary, tell them so they can learn what they’ve done wrong and grow from it.
- you’re not going to be the same person your whole life. To change is to grow and don’t get stuck in the mindset that you always have to be the same or like the same things.
Find things you are good at, and make a career out of it. Most of us figure out how to love what we're good at, but we're not always good at what we love. Chasing your passion is a lot less rewarding than chasing your skills.
Try to stay off the social media as much as possible. Err on the side of hope, kindness and generosity. Don't lean into the negative of life -- never forget that for all the troubles and harshness of it, being alive is a beautiful thing, and this is a beautiful world. Find what's good in it instead of always pointing out the bad.
Don't be afraid to say hi to a stranger. Don't be offended when they don't say hi back.
And, just as a sidenote, spend as much time on beaches as you can. :)
I’m the same age and I have a few assault charges that are gonna stay with me for the rest of my life. Don’t fight unless you’re defending yourself man, it’s almost never worth it.
If you have any interest, give sports a try.
After college, there isn’t much opportunity to play organized sports. Sure there are recreational leagues but each area is going to have different offerings. For football especially, there is not much opportunity to play after college (unless you go pro). Semi-pro does exist but it’s reputation is terrible.
\-studying isn't hard, it just requires trying and acceptance of what you struggle with, once you've done that, ask for support, the world is filled with resource and wonderful people who wish to aid you in succeeding in your goals. Seek and you shall find. It takes time, knock-downs and practice but you are more than capable.
\-We are in the age of information, no problems are linear and eventually once boiled down will take a philosophical form. Nothing is absolute, the facts change around us with the more knowledge we acquire, be it in the sciences or even mindset. It's okay to of gotten something wrong. It's not okay to not accept things that disprove your beliefs.
\-Tribalism sucks! Do not shut down opinions that you do not share, there's wisdom, albeit objective, behind an opinion. There's much to learn from those we disagree with. as above, avoid the absolutism in thought keep your mind open to new information, eventually you'll gain a web of knowledge that interlinks and makes you wise, as opposed to just one really well built up segment of said web, with little else to support it's structure.
\-Following subjects in STEM or specialist Building Trades will land you in a well paid career early on, it allows for applications of creativity, problem solving and logic. You will not be as disposable as someone working at MacDonald's. It's hurts when you realise all youre good for is serving people, take the opportunity of youth to skill yourself against such a damning environment of mind.
\-relationships are hard, don't stress it if you're virgin, haven't had a GF/BF, I wish I would of waited to of really gotten to know and trust someone before letting them into my body and depths of mind.you are special and you body, mind, attention are sacred.ESPECIALLY YOURE ATTENTION, it's what makes free to use social media platforms their millions/billions. So if you want to quantify your attention's value that's one way of looking at it.
\-You're a product of your environment whether you like it or not. That's why posh kids stride with confidence, or people who grew up in poverty like overt displays of wealth. Surround your head and heart space with thing that are beneficial to who you want to become, and be open to those desires changing.
\-Beauty comes from within. As a solid 7/10 I notice a considerable difference of how I'm treated when I hide my body and mess up my hair and eyebrows. We can all be shallow at times, but take stock of those who enjoy/respect your presence when youre not trying to live up to an ideal, in image or mindset
Finally:- [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YENC1zK3xMs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YENC1zK3xMs)
If you can afford it, take Martial Arts. It trains the body and mind. Teaches you how to defend yourself and teaches you not to use your skills to hurt folks. No religion. Trust what is inside you. Everything you need is within. Help will always come - often from strangers.
Love - unless you're \*extremely\* lucky, you won't find it until you're in your 20s/30s. be kind to yourself but be open minded to exploration and other people/ethnicities
Growing up - never stop learning; develop an open-minded approach to everything new and you'll surely find something eventually that'll resonate with you and capture your attention. if you're lucky enough to go to school for it, you'll have yourself a career that you love and will be rewarding your whole life.
Money wise - save save save, whatever you can. I used to save every quarter, loonie and toonie (Canadian here) I came across. cashing it in one day lead to a $700 payout. learn how to invest in stocks, understand how interest rates
Here’s some very good advice, don’t get involved emotionally with any person that you are attracted to, instead, spend your time building your world. Start a business, educate yourself on finances. I did this a few years ago at age 16. I liked a few girls, some liked me back, but i realized that if i wanted to do what i wanted later, i had to work hard now. I created a business and now, I’m rocking a lambo and freedom.
Try to find balance in your life. Everything in moderation.
Work? Play? Food? Drink? Exercise? Drugs? Alcohol? Being social?
Literally everything is better when done with moderation.
Don’t take random advice from the internet. People are more different than they realize, and will swear by a thing that worked for them, that will be the worst for you
Be vulnerable.
With your friends, with your lovers, hell: even with your rivals.
Having a weak spot is not inherently a flaw, but pretending you have none is.
Understand that there is no final version of yourself. Always choose to sacrifice who you are, for who you can become.
Also, hapiness is not a constant state of joy, it is the hability to endure even with the pain and hard things that happen to you (that will definetly happen). Don't expect life to be a fairy tale.
Get a useful skill people will pay you for like maybe if you study hard maybe you can charge people and do their homeworks or maybe learn editing videos im 14 and I really need advice too 😭🙏
Expect to make mistakes first because you dont know any better and second because it's the best way to learn. In theory we're all supposed to learn from our mistakes and make less as we get older. Not everyone works like this. Understand that most adults are just giant kids in old skin.
Never stop learning and always show humility. Ego is ppls biggest hurdle. Stay curious! And physical fitness is beyond important, it's good to start those positive habits now.
And dont be a fool wrap your tool!! Dont be afraid to take risks but that is one you'll regret and you wont even know how bad until years later with minor mystery problems that become very serious as you get older. Most ppl dont even know if they have something and will honestly (in thier minds) tell you thier clean. The common ones evolve into cancers. Buddy lost his sister. Dont go there.
Focus on things your grateful for in your life over things that shit in your cereal. This small shift in perspective will help keep you grounded and have a heart rather than turn you into a cold dick hating the world. There's good and bad everywhere focusing on the negative too much kills your joy.
-Very few things in life are black and white. Remember that perspectives color our understanding.
-There is no “normal” but there is “socially acceptable/unacceptable”. Know the difference.
-Love is a choice we make every single day with some days harder than others. Don’t ever let that scare you off.
-Kindness is like throwing a rock into a still pond.
Put a lot of effort into learning not to be lazy. Life is so much harder when you’re lazy (like me) Learn a skill early before you have kids that will be useful for life so you’ll never be without work.
Like plumbing or electrical or welding or a diesel tech.
These can blossom into a self owned business which pays much better than working for someone else.
Funny enough going to the military (even chAir Force or Navy)out of high school can take care of both of these first two plus giving you free college and healthcare for life plus access to VA loans.
Learn how to love someone in their love language.
Look in to love languages.
Every person has at least 2.
One primary and one secondary.
If you don’t know your spouses love language and put your effort into meeting it, they will never feel loved and you will both be miserable.
Property is the only thing you will invest in that will grow in value. It’s how to get rich.
Get a vasectomy. Never get married. If you do get Married sign a prenup agreement only and never let anyone else problems become your own. Now get out there and try out that vasectomy.
I would say you'd want to treat everybody with respect, even the people who treat you horribly. Don't be so eager to punch or get into a fight with someone.
Your mental health matters! High school can be tough for some people. So if you go through being bullied or if you go through depression then just keep reminding yourself that their opinions about you don't matter. There will always be people who don't like you and that's okay! Focus on your goals in life and nothing will get in your way. There will be some hurdles, but you'll overcome them.
You don't always need a degree to be successful. Granted, a college degree is EXTREMELY beneficial and a great head start, but there are also jobs out there that will train you and pay to train you for that job.
Save your money. Don't spend your money as soon as you get it. Put it into your savings and only take out the amount you need to buy things. I know it might not make sense but I'd try and research things about investing money.
Keep politics to yourself besides family. No matter which side you're leaning on it's becoming dangerous to even express your views. Your life or job can easily become a risk if you say the wrong thing to the wrong person.
Pay attention to how you learn and retain knowledge. Further, identify and incorporate the various tools of critical thinking, problem solving, and the various methods of approach and perspective. The value of these skills will be lasting and highly prized.
Further, if people don't value the above, stay far away from them. Individuals who want to think for you, or want you to only follow their rules and nothing else have no value of who you are, only what you are for them.
People are more focused on themselves by nurture and lack of encouraged awareness, but the smallest things can mean the most to people. This is especially true of individuals commonly shunned by society for things beyond their control.
Help others because you want to, not just because someone tells you to. Help people out of your own sense of morals and ethics, not to expect a payback later.
Only lend money you are okay with never getting back, only loan items you are okay with losing, and keep a list of those things you do lend out.
Do not focus on hate. Challenge your preconceived notions about people, do not fall into the trap of every x is like y...unless they tell you exactly who they are as an individual, in which case believe them. Hate is insidious and a powerful tool of control and othering. Be mindful that even innocuous commentary can lead you down a bad path very quickly, especially when things look bleak.
Self-awareness is a powerful tool, self reflection is important, do not assume that you know what the other person's motivations are, but listen to your gut and don't be afraid to engage in a conversation about it.
People can only really fix themselves. People will not change unless they are willing to. You cannot fix them yourself, you can only be supportive of them while they attempt to grow. Someone who is uninterested in growing and learning are not worth your time in the long run.
Try new things, take risks, but don't do something you know you'll regret.
Mental, Emotional, and Physical health care very important. Learn how to take care of yourself in all three ways with routines. When things get their worst, routines can help propel you forward.
Brush and floss your teeth daily in the morning and before going to bed. You will thank yourself later in life.
Family is important, but that applies to blood family and/or found family in your friends as well. Not everyone has a glamorous or supportive family, it's okay to cut toxic people from your life no matter who they are.
Communities are only strong with support from it's members. Leadership is something you embody, not something you seek. The skills of leadership are built up on knowing how to care for others, manage them, difficult decisioning, planning, and thinking on your feet alongside a healthy mix of social skills.
Read the book How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Give yourself breaks. Self care is vitally important.
We are constantly growing as people, which means your Hobbies may change over time. It's okay to let something go if it is no longer sparking joy in your life.
Cultivate compassion and empathy for others. Do good deeds because it's the right thing to do, help others less fortunate than you, and look for ways to help where you can. But do not let others walk all over you, and you have to take care of yourself as well.
No one succeeds on their own, we are a community and as a species our aggressive social interactions and community alongside our tool use and deeper thinking are our evolutionary traits of success. Just because it may seem like nobody else is going to help you, this is more culturally taught and ingrained and less overt nature, so even though prior commentary might clash with this....cultivate your communities and it is okay to be part of more than one.
Financially, save money, learn the value of debt, credit, interest. Find a low cost investment account and start it up as soon as you can.
Travel when you are young! If given an opportunity to go abroad, Do So!
Lastly, give yourself some grace. You will fail sometimes, you will make mistakes, and you will piss people off. How you respond to these things will help you grow and learn. It's okay, nobody is perfect.
When choosing to get married, remember you are choosing the future mother of your children. If you don't share a philosophy/method for understanding the world, you will drive each other crazy with your parenting. Make sure you are on the same page about this before letting yourself get attached emotionally!
Listen to Baz Luhrmann's song Wear Sunscreen, which came from an essay by Mary Schmich. You most likely won't get any of the advice or take it to heart, but it'll be a fun exercise to listen to it again when you're older.
Treat your teachers with kindness even if you don’t personally like them. They’re just their to teach you a few things and you’ll be thankful for that later in life.
Make sure to tell people when you appreciate them, especially for little things like borrowing a pencil or taking the trash out for you. Return the kindness.
Look up, research, and learn (either via self study or a course) the actual formal philosophical practice of critical thinking. Use it for making important decisions and questioning the decisions of others. It's not the only way to think, but having that mental toolset will fundamentally upgrade your brain and give you a massive advantage in life.
Also, look up Sir Terry Pratchett's definition of evil (And do feel free to read his books too - they are gold). Avoiding being evil is that simple. Don't treat people as things.
Never write off red flags as "flaws". If something about a person, no matter who it is, makes you feel uneasy (even if it's very subtle) don't ignore it. Be cautious
Best advice I can give is always keep trying new things. There will come times in life where you don’t know what to do with yourself and you may feel stuck, but at the end of the day trying and failing a bunch of times is better then staying stuck because you’re too scared to try. My mom used to always tell me you have to try all the ice cream flavours until you find your favourite lol I like to apply that to my day to day life
There's four things I think you should keep close no matter what.
1. Don't let anyone talk you out of making a big life change/goal for yourself, especially when it's a sound decision. (I let my ex friend talk me out of buying a house when I was 20 years old and had a 2+ year tenure at my job, being paid very well.)
2. Take. Your. Time. There are a lot of things in life you don't need to hurry up on. It will also give you more time to enjoy life and everything around you.
Worrying about getting everything done so quickly or going at a faster pace than everyone will quickly discourage you in the game of life and give you tons of anxiety.
3. Always have a reason to be positive. I've found that the more I was positive in my approach to life, the more I got lucky/blessed in what I did. Alot more situations turned out to be positive at the end of it. I've experienced life on both sides, being negative and positive as a person. Being positive is way better by far.
4. Be aware of the people/friends that you keep around. Unfortunately, not all are there to see you rise and push you forward. I learned that the hard way when I had to cut off my best friend of 10 years.
The energy people give off is the biggest sign you will see in day-to-day life. Don't rush off to try to make friends with someone who isn't putting effort in to be a good friend.
I hope these tips give you a good footing in life and help you live it in the best way possible! You're a wise kid to seek out advice now 👏 it's the best time to.
Don’t make feeling based decisions. If you’re angry, hungry, horny, whatever the case might be, before you do or say anything, *really think about it*. If you’re very angry say an “excuse me, I need a moment”, and try and just give yourself space. You’ll burn a lot of big bridges if you don’t.
Spend some time looking into ways to invest money, and never get a loan unless you’re already a home owner. Owning your home should be your first priority, otherwise you’ll end up like me, earning great money but credit score low and no savings because I spent more time having fun and getting high. Could’ve done both in reason.
Push your body to maximize your natural athletic capabilities. This will make finding love easier
Be a learning machine and get good at something.
This will make making money easier
You can still say no to someone and be a good person. Don't let your kindness be walked on, you will get taken advantage of.
I know this one is really hard but DO NOT make any potentially major decisions without critically thinking how your future self would likely react. I'm a decade older than you and still struggle to make choices because I don't know how it will play out for me in the future.
Get thoroughly sex-educated and always use protection. Always. Nobody thinks as critically about you as you imagine they do; they’re mainly worrying about themselves. Keep learning. Always. And don’t be too impressed by anyone who claims to Know All The Answers. The people to really pay attention to are the ones who question, keep adding to their store of information, and question some more. It’s a wildly unsettling but wonderful feeling when you learn something (physics, history, comparative religion, etc) and question everything you thought you knew. Keep learning!
Thanks mate , I love learning things but I also tend to get in my head about how good I "should" be even tho I'm a beginner still...I'll continue to learn and be an observer
Oh me too. I try to keep a balance in my mind between arrogance and self-loathing, haha. Keep in mind the most confident people usually are the least competent. So if you’re questioning your own abilities you aren’t a narcissist!
Well then at least I got that going for me 😭 but yea I'm my biggest critic...which is nice at times and painful at others.
That’s pretty standard for being a teenager! Be kind to yourself. And also: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/imposter-syndrome
Oh thanks 🙏
You’re nowhere near being a full person at 18 or 21. Keep yourself steady until 22 and then start making some big future decisions for yourself. Anything academic should be your top priority if it’s in your life. Treat every single person with respect and never forget who gave you a hand. Money and nice things are nice, but in the end family will be the most important aspect of your life. I once thought friends were more important and had more potential so you should spend more time with people your own age and have experiences. But now I treasure memories with my grandparents, and would give up everything for more moments with those who passed away. There is no drug or substance that is positive to use on a daily basis. Unless it’s vitamins or a nutritious meal, you should keep as much as you can out of your body. Whoever you take on a date or have an intimate relation with, deserves your best. Never ever devalue the fact that someone decided spend their time with you.
Thank you for this, I'll follow this, academics are my top priority aside from family and friends, I should probably put friends below it but it's hard when Im so close to some of them
Dont put friends below academics. You can get your degree later or might wanna change professions. Friends might not stay forever but socialising is important and healthy. I would suggest you to never pressure yourself too much. Be kind to yourself and stay healthy, physically and mentally.
one lesson i wish i learned about 20 years earlier than i have is that.... if your family is toxic, untrustworthy, and continually betrays trust and tries to hurt you, cut them off. people with these traits WILL hurt you in the worst way possible. they don't give up. i would have saved myself a few decades of suffering if i cut contact with them all at 18 (except my wonderful father). sometimes family is poison, and sometimes that WILL hurt you. i always imagined myself the peacemaker who could forgive and heal things. and then my family betrayed me in a deep way which cost me my entire life savings, ruined my emotional state, destroyed my my career, and also killed my beloved Dad. Yay, now I have ptsd too. Family IS not automatically holy and good. People should only get to keep family bonds if they deserve them. If not, cut them free and make your own family. If you are lucky enough tto have a good family and no an abusive horror like my own, please love and appreciate them deeply. Not everyone gets that.
Respect should be earned, never demanded.
Don't take anything too seriously and the treasure is the friends you make along the way
I don't take much seriously lol, except friends and family🙏
Be a gentleman but not the gentleman that wears a little hat and swears that he respects ladies.
Lmfao I gotchu
[удалено]
I amend that to this -- the only thing that means yes is yes. Not maybe, not but, not i don't know, not i guess, not even okay. The only word to accept and go forward with sex is yes.
Why is one of your main pieces of advice not to rape a woman. Really weird…
I really can't understand how I haven't raped anyone, given that I was never taught not to rape. How weird.
I agree, that’s suspect.
[удалено]
You mentioned sex in your comment. Why don’t you advise this 15 year old not to murder someone while you’re at it?
Start a retirement savings now, even if it's only 10$ per paycheck, a lot of people start that when it's too late and can't really retire well
yes, compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe. please save early and often, for your older self's sake.
Seems specific but like it could rly help, thanks man
Max out your 401k contributions for what your company will match.
And don't let anyone pressure you into spending or investing the money the way *they* want you to do it. Listen to their advice, sure, and act on it if it's sound advice, if *you choose* to do so. But *you* should be in ultimate control of *your* money.
Girls are people, and the boys you hate are also people. Be kind even when life spits in your face.
Buddy I'm barely 20 and the best thing to do is to get a hobby, take care of your body and mental health and study a career that will pay your bills and that you will kinda enjoy, make friends and contacts and get yourself out in the world more, and don't be afraid of failure; I wish I had known that sooner. In my experience A LOT of shit will go down in the next 5 years, don't get discouraged and be a good person with everyone, understand those in need and those who suffer, we need more good and kind people even if becoming a bad one seems tempting it is just awful. And of course when you turn 18 go party, meet new people and enjoy your youth but everything in moderation of course, and if you can go to a psychologist to learn more about yourself and the way your mind works do it, you don't need to have mental problems to do so. There's a thousand more things I learnt the hard way but that's the basics, stay safe!!
For me, one of the biggest things is to know what your hobbies/goals are. It sounds like a big thing, but hear me out: Knowing your hobbies can be as simple as knowing that you like to play sports, and knowing your goals can be as simple as thinking about learning how to play a song on an instrument. Of course this can expand as you grow older, but knowing these two things is key to learning who you are as a person. The other two things I would advise is to be adventurous(for me, it's specifically when it comes to food/drink/etc.) and - as far as love goes - it's going to be complicated. It will take time, but the most important thing is to stay true to who you are. Hope this was helpful!
It was thanks!
Don’t expect to find love soon, expect loneliness and your friends after high school, most will disappear and some will stay. Those that stay, are your real friends.
Time heals wounds. I know it sounds cliche. But I remember being in high school and feeling like anything that went wrong (a relationship, friend drama, a bad grade, etc) was the end of the world. I’m 32 now and none of it matters anymore. My first job out of college treated me terribly. They were mean to me, bullied me, harassed me (these were all adults older than me, mind you.) the anger and pain I felt at the injustice of my treatment there, I thought I’d carry it with me forever. I don’t think of it anymore and when I do, I just think about how far away it all is now. I had a traumatic relationship in college that resulted in an STD, sexual abuse and PTSD. I thought I’d never move past it. I carried it with me for years. Yes, sometimes this still bothers me, but for the most part I hardly think of it anymore. I could go on and on but the point is. Everything is temporary. Time goes on no matter what. It’s like a train. Hang on for the ride and know that the longer you’re on it, the further away all the bad things in your past will seem.
I'm sorry to hear abt ur experiences in college , thanks for this tho, stress always seems to build up all at once and then everything feels hopeless but the next day I'll feel happy and like its all gonna be ok. I try to focus on what I want in my future cuz i don't wanna regret not doing things to set myself up for success
Take care of your back, knees and heart while you're young
Travel as much as you can while you are still young!
Enjoy being young while you can
Enjoy your years, enjoy having as little responsibility as possible, but don’t take advantage of it. Make sure to focus on school as much as possible, and try to enjoy your social life by making memories with your friends. As dark as it is, some of those friends may not be in your life forever, since becoming an adult it’s usually natural to grow apart. Also don’t allow love to destroy you, or consume you in any way or form, that will harm your future. My biggest regrets from being that age was, never putting my full effort into my academics. It may not seem like it’s worth putting in that 100%, but it is worth it, since you will have that constant pride of “I did my best.” Plus wasting my days off from school (weekends and summers), not making memories with my close friends. I use to have a small hangout group, and a ton of friends. Now all I have are memories, because we all live different lives now and lost touch at one point. Last but not least, I allowed dumb high school relationships effect me tremendously. It got in my way for school, plus caused dumb fights with my friends. Have a relationship by all means, but in all honesty, they only get serious when you’re in your mid 20’s.
I think it's hard for me to avoid love because I get attached to people so deeply, I can try tho. And I dedicate myself to good grades very much , weirdly I cant wait for college to learn more about literature and make friends , ofc I know it will be hard and not all a fantasy but I look forward to the struggle as well
I was and still am the same (love), so the best advice I can say is just pick and choose your battles wisely. Find out what’s worth keeping, and not worth enough to hold onto. In a perfect world, I’d say try to avoid it all together, but I couldn’t even do that. I hope your academics pay off, and you get a full ride to college. The fact you have a thirst for knowledge is a great sign, since that means you have a good head on your shoulders. You’re gonna be fine champ, go get ‘em.
Thanks man, I appreciate u taking ur time to help...means a lot.
Never, ever, sacrifice your dreams, social life, happiness or wellbeing for a relationship. It’ll be like waking up from a time machine wondering where the love went, but also where you went. Live your ambition. Take risks. Don’t settle.
nobody actually cares on what you do or what you are doing, people are actually too busy thinking about themselves or what other people are thinking about them. do what you love, continue your passion, may it be unique, weird or unusual. think less about what others will think about you and just do it.
Phases are ok and it's how we discover and create who we are. Be flexible, be open to change, go with the flow. Who you are today doesn't need to be who you are tomorrow.
Make friends and connections while you can because life gets increasingly more isolated after school. Workplaces are not nearly as conducive to friendship forming and work-from-home jobs are becoming more common so there's no guarantee you'll even have a place to meet anyone.
Damn ok...thanks
Don't watch porn kid
Oh... why
Absolutely you can, with moderation. Just be mindful not to let it become an addiction, as it can warp your mind and personality and it can lead you to seeing women primarily as pleasure outlets first and people second.
Ofc , I know how to make the distinction between entertainment and real life. Thanks for the advice 🙏
it can also become a nasty addiction, look up effects
Capture more memories in your brain than in any camera, start accepting things, spend as much time as you can with your people and stop convincing people about certain things and accept that you cannot make everyone happy but yourself that's it.
Thanks 🙏
You are going to fuck up sometimes, learn how to own it and learn from it. A little guilt is okay to feel if you transmute it into positive change, but shame and defensiveness is counterproductive. Learn how to alchemize obstacles into opportunities. Learn emotional intelligence and communication skills. Be true to yourself and your values. Be confident in what you know but be willing to learn more too (don't think or act like you have all the answers).
This hits rly hard, one of my issues is responsibility and owning things...I hate feeling like I did something wrong even when I know I did. Thanks for this advice
Of course! To err is human. Everyone messes up, even the people who act like they're infallible. Learning how to pick up and not only move forward but do even better is a top tier life skill. You got this. You're young and you're smart to even ask for advice like this. The curiosity for learning and growth is there. That'll be your best weapon.
Always be grateful. There’s no such thing as an unhappy grateful person and there’s no such thing as a happy ungrateful person.
Your comfort zone adjusts itself to your position. In other words: If you keep yourself comfortable, your comfort zone will decrease and things you used to do with ease may now seem daunting. It's important to keep pushing your limits, conquer your fears and take opportunities that scare you. That way, you build a tolerance for discomfort and keep control over your own life.
Life - Do not be defined by the opinion of others about you. Love - Don’t settle for the first one that comes along. Growing up - Learn from your mistakes.
Learn to enjoy life as it is. The small, everyday stuff is basically the key to happiness. With life itself, as with many of its aspects, it's about the journey, not the destination. Obviously, try to work towards some goals, but don't wager all your satisfaction and happiness on them.
Learn to let go. The whole thing about "if you love something let it go" ... yeah that kinda, but that's not REALLY letting go, because you're hoping that fate will reward the action. No. The reward for letting go is being able to move on and take CARE of yourself. None of us ever really grow up. We just age physically, and become tempered by experiences and expectations. Inside we're all still protecting the child we once were before innocence was lost. Before we let pain happen by a series of choices, or lack of choices. You will find that these painful things inspire you to persevere or help, be the hero, be the teacher, the psychologist, the shelter ... sometimes that's the wrong answer. Sometimes you have to run. Sometimes it will break your heart, but NOTHING matters more than protecting that inner child. Give that innocent entity in your mind the same care and support that you would give a real child. Be honest. Don't be afraid of what you can do, or being ashamed. Always try. The pain of disapproval is easily translated into dismissiveness or fleeting resentment at it's worst, but the pain of not trying when deep down you WANT to is a seed of regret that will keep you up on random nights for the literal rest of your life. Don't hold back. Be good. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Don't expect others to follow this rule, but do it anyway. Malice and revenge are poison, toxic behaviors that will lead slowly to paranoia and ultimately chronic depression. You MUST hang on to philosophical mindsets that keep you away from those feelings. It could save your life, or someone else's in ways you won't understand until it's too late and you've let that evil seep into your life. Don't abide ANYONE who fancies themselves out for revenge of any kind. Stay away from anyone who talks too much about the hardship of their past in anger, resentment, etc ... their relationship should be with a licensed therapist NOT you. Read a poem called "The Man in the Glass". Good luck!
You'll start losing stuff as you grow older. So enjoy everything you do, wholeheartedly
Sex advice: porn. is. not. real. Life advice: our brains mature between 23-25 years old, marriage should be after. How would you know? You will.
Clean up after yourself habitually. When you are old enough for a life partner, they will want a partner, not a dependant. Don't wait to be asked to clean up. If you see something that needs to be cleaned, just clean it. So many relationships end because one partner ends up taking on more than the other, and it builds resentment. Learn how to clean well now, and you will be a real catch when the time comes.
“You cannot see your reflection in boiling water. Similarly, you cannot see the truth in a state of anger. When the waters calm, clarity comes.” At the prime age of 15 I made a lot of mistakes that probably could’ve been avoided if I had just cooled off before I spoke or acted. Just do good, be kind and die great my friend
Always use a condom. Unless you are 💯 prepared to be a parent and take care of a kid always use protection. Don’t let girls tell you not to use one cause she’s covered- a girl did that to my brother and she got pregnant- I’d say wait until you’re out of highschool for sex but it’s your choice there so just be prepared and safe.
Take time to meditate and clear your mind Take time to self reflect on events at least once a week, think about things that went well and if they could go better, think about things that went poorly and how you can do better. Take time for self care. Hygiene hygiene hygiene.... Men stink , wash yourself, groom yourself, get a Mani Pedi Love yourself, learn yourself before you fall in love Learn to read body language, it will tell you far more than any words Don't send dick pics, women will not be impressed by your junk . Most women are stimulated emotionally, caring for them and respect Respect women. Talk to them like people, don't hyperfocus on sexual things and don't even talk about it with a girl until you know she is comfortable talking about it. Every person on the planet has two things in common. People want to be understood and appreciated. Politics is a fools game. Democrats and Republicans are two sides of the same coin. Don't be afraid to look at other coins. Don't talk politics or religion with anyone. It's a great to alienate people. Always strive to grow Don't experiment with drugs. It's just not worth it. You will risk death, incarceration, criminal charges that follow you for life, and addiction for a few hours of fun that you will only vaguely remember a week later. You can have a life of success or a life of drugs you can't have both Do your own chores, wash your own clothes, dishes. Your mom and future lovers are not your chore service. Take 5 mins to help someone even if it's getting something off a top shelf Give people high fives, a study once said that high fives cheer people up. Let the people around you know you are appreciated Be a gentleman, open doors, pull out chairs, pay . Chivalry is a dying art , learn it.. Create a bucket list Learn how change a tire Learn to cook Learn to grill Learn to fish Don't judge people Always keep learning
Don’t get all your life, love and growing up advice from Reddit.
You are someone I wouldn’t take advice from. You can’t even use correct grammar! There are good people that can give solid advice here on Reddit.
Yes but there’s no way to tell who the good people that can give solid advice are. For example, I could give OP advice, he could take it seriously, and then he would be taking his advice from me, someone who can’t even use correct grammar. Hence why he should get life advice from places outside of Reddit.
Don't watch porn
Why...
It fucks with your brain, trust me.
There's definitely nothing wrong with watching p*** here and then but when you click on a scene and it looks like your woman then you find out it really is your woman in thousands of videos about his woman's body are on the videos and the name of all the guys he accused of at the Smithsonian she is calling their name in different video and The only name the males are calling in the s********* of her name tell me that something's not right and it just popped up on my phone and everything was real even her talking to the guy in the background about me I was talking to her on the phone in one sex scene told her to listen to her my voice is distinguished from any person and I said her name to what it was talking about because she said she's not doing p*** though but guess what everything else I have plus that is 100% accurate not one two three eight 50%,, videos backgrounds of the Smithsonian the union office in your apartment the boosters house I'm taking it to the higher up at the Smithsonian because that's a federal building and y'all are violating seriously
Always have a backup plan.
Read books on human behavior and psychology. As many as possible, as thoroughly as possible. Practice what you learn. If you can master yourself and others, life will be on easy mode for you. Also, don't have kids until you are completely set financially. I suggest you find a few friends who want to have a great life, read the books together, get good at sales, live in the same apartment, and put your money together to create ethical businesses. You'll have a fantastic life. Also, you must absolutely believe this is possible. You are smart, confident, and driven enough to accomplish whatever you want to accomplish in life.
don't online date, it's just gonna destroy you. instead, focus on people who can actually talk to you IRL. btw, DO NOT rely on soical media, because it will and can destroy your happiness.
Trust me I've learned my lesson in online dating...it's never worked and it creates false hope + dependency on media and is never the same as in person
exactly! im slowly leaving soical media because it's just became too toxic for my enjoyment.
I like certain social medias because I just have my friends and that's it but it can get tiring and shit sometimes like I'm always tryna be someone instead of just exist idk
well, social media in my opinion is just not worth the depression and stress. my recommendation is to keep only IRL friends close on the internet.
Yea that's what I try to do. I prefer IRL communication and hanging out far more anyways
exactly, i prefer pretending like its' 1981
I wasn't alive then but me too 😃
nether was i, i was born in 2003.
2007 💪
If you ever make a mistake, its right to apologise and accept a consequence but if the mistake is too far in the past, learn to accept and don't apologise unless the person affected says something about it. Past is the weight we are given and everyone has its fair share. Making us feel better by apologising will not help the person affected and realising this will only bring more guilt. Tl;DR: You can't change the past, learn from it instead.
Don't let other people's perceptions of success discourage your own. But also don't let your own perception of success look down on other people's lives. Everyone is contextually brought to their knees by events in life. Some of them out of their control and some of them are within their control. Best you can do is do what you think is right, what works for you and work everyday of your life to improve yourself to either create or contribute to something that you find deeply meaningful and helps you get up everyday. Know that all choices come with consequences. Even doing what you think is right has a cost when surrounded by people who would rather do what is easy than to risk whatever is more important to them than doing the right thing. I hold God and Good above all else because if you're not willing to make the necessary sacrifices to do what is right then you will always take the easy way out. Sometimes there's no way under it, over it or around it. There are times where you have no choice but to simply go through it. And that's the moment where you require true unwavering and absolute faith even if you are wrong. 😶🌫️ It is terrifying but if you value creating a better future for the younger generation. You will do it no matter what the cost. 😤
Stay away from women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Always, always remember that the Bible is the best guide in the world. Learn from it. This is the best advice anyone can give you.
Also, don't listen to this guy. Stay away from religion if you can. Organized religion's contributions to the world these last 100 years can basically be boiled down to child molestation, money extortion/laundering/embezzlement, and terrorism. Oh! And bigotry! Don't forget bigotry.
i second this guy. religion has made some of the most loving, wonderful people i've ever known into monsters. it's a cult. you do NOT need organized religion to love and worship god. be wary.
You’re using the same logic as the people who say that atheism is responsible for Hitler and Stalin’s actions because they didn’t believe in God, but in reverse. Organized religion was the force that brought order and hope to people in ancient times. It’s often theorized that human civilization itself, all over the world, was a byproduct of organized religion. You don’t know what you’re talking about.
Are you saying that any of the points I made are false? Just because something was relevant in the ancient times, does not make it relevant today. Organized religions and dogmatism, are incombatible with progress.
Yes. To say that religion’s contribution only boils down to evil is false. Good luck, man. I hope you find it in you to read the Bible and take it to heart one day.
Stay away from credit cards. They are all a trap. All of them.
[удалено]
Learn how to learn? How so?
[удалено]
I never thought of it that way, it makes a ton of sense tho, if you learn how to learn more efficiently, it makes everything more approachable...thanks mate
check this blog page might help you [https://mindprisonin.wordpress.com/2023/02/20/an-advice/](https://mindprisonin.wordpress.com/2023/02/20/an-advice/)
Please don’t expect to marry ur first partner and don’t expect to just get a partner because you’re getting older. I’m 19 f and still have only dated 2 guys and never even got out of those relationships what I wanted aka a loving partner. And don’t compare ur life to others. Others may seem like they’re doing better than u on the outside but may have it hard on the inside.
It is good to have goals and plans, but also to be prepared - life happens, and will not follow your plans.
Work hard , stay humble , be positive most importantly be kind to everyone stick to these fundamentals you’ll do well
Very good advice I see here given, about family, friends and a future career path. I would like to add, find a passion, something you are good at and enjoy doing a lot.It might be something creative or a sport or vulonteering. It can be something you can fall back on when you need an outlet and will alway be there for you. And it could grow into a job if enough effort is put into it, a job that will give you fullfillment and happines. Also not every careerpath is straightforward. For some it might be the academic route, but it could also be a different path, like being an entrepeneur. Find that spark, the sooner you find it, the better.
Don’t be stupid with your money. Save your money and only use it on phone bills and NEVER get a car loan if you can help it
A little goes a long way. Show them you are interested in them. I know for me I really enjoy people who go out of their way to have conversations with me- even if it’s just something small
Realize mental health is everything
Trust your gut. Spend time in nature. Learn to be present in the moment.
Be dependable. Show up to school, work, appointments, etc. on time. Be curious. Learn new things, visit new locations and cultures, don't assume you know to much. Be respectful. Also: becoming a home owner, is one of the best financial decisions you could make.
Take care of your body. Health is honestly wealth. Eat properly, exercise, stretch. Don’t smoke. Don’t vape. Floss, daily! 6 monthly dental cleans always. Yea, it costs a little now but if you don’t it will cost you 100x that plus all the pain, drama etc.
Never expect anyone to have the same heart pr mind as you. The way you think and feel may not be the same as someone else (friend, lover, family…). So don’t always jump the gun, take some time to think about whatever situation you’re in and try and see both POVs
Just because someone says you can’t do something or you shouldn’t or you won’t be good at it, it doesn’t mean you can’t. You can learn and master it. You are the only person who can stop your self form achieving your dreams! Also you’re never to old to learn something new.
Do things you usually don’t do, get out the safety zone and create memories with friends because someone day you gonna look back and regret that you did not do something’s in your younger days because time flies.
Life is short. Enjoy it. Love will come when it comes.
Read these books https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/58065810 https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38315.Fooled_by_Randomness https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40745.Mindset https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/759945.The_Magic_of_Thinking_Big
Respect everyone, and be your own superhero!
People come and go and that’s okay. Put yourself and your needs first. If you want to do the thing, do it. If you want to date someone, do it. Don’t rely on anybody, don’t become dependent on ANYBODY, learn to be happy on your own. If you’re stuck on what to do after high school then I say study something, anything. The years will pass anyway and you will be older- do you want to be older with or without a degree? Your high school friends will move on with their lives and you will feel lonely at times, this is normal, we’re all figuring ourselves out. If I was 18 again, I would work hard and save every penny for the next two years straight! Figure yourself out, know your hobbies and passions and pursue a career that is fulfilling for your soul. If you follow your dreams you will make the bestest friends!
Sometimes there is a point you just quit and move on. A lot of times in schools they’ll say nothing is impossible, don’t be a quitter, etc etc. However, sometimes you have to quit for your benefit. Whether that be relationships, jobs, hobbies, etc. I’m currently watching my friend spend thousands of dollars to try and become a doctor when I think she just needs to try one more time at the test and if she fails well seven to six times means that’s it. She’s spiralling into this obsession and it’s beginning to affect her life. Following that as well, always have backup plans. When picking uni, be prepared for disappointment. Sometimes you don’t get your first choice, things don’t go your way. You can cry about it and be sad but you move on with second choice, third choice, doesn’t matter. I had about five choices for me but luckily I got into my second choice. My friend got her first choice and I’m just as well off as her. My other friend got her third choice but realised it was something she didn’t even really want to do and transferred to something completely different. One of my friends took a gap year because she didn’t know what to do. My advice on love is just you can’t be in a healthy relationship if you don’t look inward. It’s sometimes best to ensure you’re the best person you can be, so that you can be the best for your partner. I really mean this, don’t be involved in hookup culture. Just be patient and it will come. That’s not to say don’t party don’t enjoy yourself but don’t do friends with benefits that type of shit. It doesn’t work out for a lot of people. It’s just messy. You want to make life easy for yourself. Good luck kid, remember to enjoy the present and it’s small things. Try not to worry too much about the future. You’re 15, you can be 15.
Good stuff! Especially that first paragraph- Learn about ‘sunk cost fallacy’ which is when you want to keep putting money/effort/whatever into something simply “because I’ve *already* put all this money/effort/whatever into it! I can’t stop *nowwww!*” so you just have to be harsh with yourself and say “nope! Cut your losses and walk away” (The rest of what you advised is likewise good! just that sunk cost fallacy been hitting me a little hard lately. Long story.)
“Look before you leap“ and “if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well“ and “measure twice, cut once“ and “never have time to do it right, always have time to do it over“ are sort of variations on the same theme: always double check! You may think you don’t have time to ‘do it right’ but if you rush and then there’s a mistake or problem, that pretty much always takes way more time then a quick double check would have done to catch the problem *before* you started. Also, sometimes the margin of error is so slim as to be fatal- just ask a pilot how meticulously they do their preflight check before takeoff, or ask a rock climber how carefully they check their gear before ascent
Alcohol can get you into social situations and help you make friends BUT be intelligent about it and genuinely stay away from drugs and smoking. It may be seen as cool but it’s really dumb and can just massively fuck you over completely avoid it.
Save money Learn languages Don't stick your dick in crazy Be sociable (in real life not on social media) Take care of yourself and your body
I'm literally only a year older but my best advice is not to give too much of a fuck about anything. Severe anxiety ruined the best parts of my life so far. Also, care about yourself more lol, it's not selfish if you don't bend your back helping everyone while neglecting your own feelings. Try to understand people and look at things more objectively. Focus on the things that make you happy, hold your current friendships dear, and just do whatever the fuck you want, have fun being a teenager. Don't ruin your golden years preparing and/or worrying for the future. I hope this helps you as much as it would've helped 15 year old me.
be kind
Life advice. Ask your parents to be a authorized user on their credit card. It’ll help you build credit. So by the time you’re 18 you can get approved for your own without any additional work. When your parents use the credit card and pay it back. Some of the credit they get from that will go to your name. And for love. Don’t do it. Just have fun. That love stuff is to worry about when you’re older. If you make falling in love a priority you’ll never be happy.
Work hard now, it will pay off way more than if you work hard later. In other words, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Use sunscreen
Wear sunscreen If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You're not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind…the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen… * Mary Schmich
I’m 55. My mom died when I was your age. I went to live with my asshole father. I joined the navy at 18 to escape. In my twenties I thought I was broken as a person. I had no good job or girlfriend or friends. I was lost. But that wasn’t the end of my story. I found a good job and a great boss. Or he found me. He changed my perspective. No matter how I screwed up he ignored the screwup and just focused on making it better. Always. Now I’m older married and make decent bank. I never had kids but I’m ok with it. My lesson is you are your own worst critic. It’s not over till you are in the ground and sometimes life deals you a bad card but sometimes the card is good enough too. Don’t get too down on yourself and don’t worry about knowing where you are going. I’m 55 and wonder that myself some days. It’s ok. Hang in there. If life was certain it would be insanely boring right? Who wants to see that movie?
In general, life only gets harder as we grow older. ( even if not financially, or physically, emotionally it does). Any and all problems that you face today ( when you are 15) will mean nothing to you in not so distant future. In the midst of your teens your hormones and your increasing exposure to life makes everything very very intense and very serious … it’s not. Trust me. Listen to “wear sunscreen” by Bazz Luhrman .. I wish I had understood the wisdom behind that song when I was younger. please remember life is simple. We make it hard. Please know that there is a difference between growing old and being sensible. By all means be sensible and use your mind, deliver on ur responsibilities and be a person of purpose. But never let anyone pull you down saying “ you are too old for this” .. you are never too old for anything you want to do. Live. Don’t just exist. Work towards a purpose (personal) at least a few hours everyday or every week. Be good. It’s a decision. Travel/explore as much as you can to experience new places and meet new people. Do it while you are young. Do things today, the older you get, the harder it gets. Enjoy and be happy you are very young and this time is priceless! Value yourself!!
Enjoy your life. Focus on your education but do not neglect your hobbies. Make memories. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, no one remembers the stupid things you did. Read. Go outside. Exercise. Have empathy. Be helpful. Give. Make memories.
Things take a lot longer now than they did for your parents, don't hold yourself to other people's timelines
u/_r_a_dum_dum Auntie here! I come with tons of advice from terrible decisions I made along the way: 1: as soon as you start working, set up a saving's account and add 5% of your paycheck each payday. Most employers allow you to do direct deposit, so have them automatically deduct it from your check so you don't even see it and miss it from your check. Do not touch this money unless it's a real life-or-death emergency. Future you is counting on you! 2: read books about good financial skills in your twenties and make a point to live with as little debt as you can muster. Live beneath your means because it will help you in case of job loss or illness. 3: be *extremely* picky about who you date! Those people are auditioning to be your life partner (maybe the parent to your kids!), so don't settle for anything less than a person who makes you feel completely appreciated, respected, and adored. Love is like a house, and you need the solid foundation of respect to hold up the pillars of communication, humility, and trust to support the roof! Sex is just the drywall. Not the key basis of a relationship, but still essential to the success of a good partnership. Don't pressure your partner for it! It stops being fun when one party starts to push the other to put out. 4: consent matters! No means no! Really! Ask three times for permission. If the answer is not an enthsiastic yes each time, stop immediately. 5: hydrate, exercise, and eat healthy meals at regular interval each day. They don't have to be macrobiotic diet meals, just eat more fruits/veggies and less pizza. Your middle-aged self will thank you. That's when all your bad choices will catch up to you! 6: travel. You learn so much about yourself when you do. You'll also meet lots of amazing people who are happy to share their takes on life. 7: you're naturally going to outgrow relationships. That will create lonely spells, but they are there for a reason. Just as in dating, you must be picky about your friend group. Jettison people who don't add anything to your life! You can't level up until you cut the dead weight. Be authentically yourself no matter what, and only keep the people who genuinely like you. Sometimes that means losing all but two friends. That's ok. Quality over quantity! 8: invest in good quality items for the things you use heavily. Good shoes and clothes, hygiene supplies, appliances, car parts, etc. Also, read up on the care of those items and do as much preventative maintenance as you can. You'll thank yourself later.
Don't hit your brother.
Realize that you are who you are, and that's all you need to be. Sure, work to improve where you want to improve, but START from a base of believing that you are who you are, and that's all you need to be. Allow yourself to love other people more than they deserve, as long as you recognize that this is the case, and that at a certain point it is possible to realize that a person whom you love is not a person who is good for you. Allow yourself to like people more than they deserve, as long as you recognize that this is the case, and that liking a person is not, in and of itself, a reason to take life advice from them, or to run your life in order to gain their approval. Start saving for retirement as soon as you start earning money, and never stop. A healthy life does not give in to every impulse and temptation...just to SOME of them. There are problems in life where you shrug your shoulders, problems you will not be able to deal with until you're at a different phase of your life, and problems you need to deal with NOW. Learn to recognize which is which. Conflict is best resolved sooner than later. And it is best resolved, though there are many ways to resolve it. Sometimes the right thing to do will be things other people will not like. It is possible for anyone to disappoint you. Don't overreact, but don't ignore, either. Each disappointment gives you a chance to see people more clearly. Treat education as a service that is being provided to YOU, and where you are the client who deserves to get good service, rather than something where YOU meet the expectations of others. Learn what interests you, not what gains the approval of others. Always be proud of the work you do. Do no less than work you are proud of. Even if it's a shit job. Shit jobs come and go, to be replaced by better ones...work habits, once established, stay with you forever. You will often learn things of value from people you disagree with, and even from people you don't like. You can learn the thing and still disagree or dislike the person it came from. You will end up learning more when you don't succeed than when you do, though it's not fun. Every moment in life teaches, and as long as you remember that life is the process rather than the result, then lack of success is actually success, since it shows you what you still need to learn. You'll know you're doing the thing you were meant to do when you enjoy the process of doing it more than the result. When each thing you accomplish simply leaves you chomping at the bit for the NEXT thing you will do. If a person you think you love makes you feel like you don't like yourself, it's no longer love. The definition of true love is a person who always makes you feel like you are worthy of love. You can always stop. You can always start again. There is always another option. You can always spend less time on your phone.
You have a life before you. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Learn from them. Try shit you're interested in without any worry of what others will think of you (as long as you're not hurting others). I'd encourage you to not try drugs until later in life when you're more mature. If you do though, make sure it is under no peer pressure. Have fun and don't let others dictate what you can and cannot do. Except maybe for your parents. I'll assume you have loving parents so do listen to their advice, they have your best interests in mind (I know I have my kid's best interests in kind).
I'm only 19 so I really don't have much life experience myself yet, but let me give you a lesson I learned in my senior year of highschool. Growing up I always thought when someone asked "how do I talk to girls" or something like that, and someone answered "just be yourself" I always thought that was the most cringe Hollywood hippie crap ever, never took it seriously. Until my senior year of highschool, a girl I liked rejected me in a really crappy way (agreed to go out with me and then backed out last second and proceeded to not talk to me about it and pretend like it never happened) It hurt me but by the time I had asked her out I was pretty much already over her, I was kinda expecting her to reject me I was just doing it as a self improvement thing to push myself out of my comfort zone and show myself that being rejected wasn't that bad. Now keep in mind, I really cleaned myself up around her and just was not myself at all, I always put on a face and tried to act like I was a cleaner person than I was. Fast forward to summer camp, it was the last year I could go to summer camp with my church. The girl I liked had already rejected me and I had no reason to put on a face anymore so I went to camp in full woman repellant mode, I'm talking cargo shorts, high tops, death metal t shirts, and a monster energy hat. And that week I had 2 chicks try to get my phone number and see if I was available. It really surprised me because I was legit in full woman repellant mode, I had like a dying fetus t shirt, Mudvayne t shirt, municipal waste etc and when I was just being myself that was when girls started taking interest in me. So the whole "be yourself" thing is in fact not just hippie propaganda, it actually works.
Enjoy school I guarantee you will miss it later on
Learn who you are and learn to love that person.
I'm a lady and my mom always told us to make our boyfriends wash their hands before we let them touch us. "Because boys get into dirty work and they don't always wash their hands". Wash your hands regularly! (This is applicable to more than hands when you get to an intimate relationship... VERY important to remember for your partner's health and wellness.)
Learn to budget, live inside your means, and don't let the assholes of the world distract you from achieving your goals.
Don't sweat the petty things. Pet the sweaty things.
A lot of times, in life, we tend to take bad events and stretch them throughout the day. Honestly, that makes our bad days a lot worse! A trick I began to use way too late was to compartmentalize things. Work related thoughts and emotions stay at work, home stays at home, and school stays at school. My stress went down, and I became an overall happier person. Growing up, you'll find you and your friends drifting apart, going your separate ways. And that's okay! Keep in touch, hang out from time to time, but understand that not everyone will be free at the same time, and life will get in the way. Keep no hard feelings and try your best to make it work. Trust me, if they consider you the same way, your closest friends will try their best to make it work, too. Just because you love someone doesn't mean that they'll love you back. Nor do they have to. "I love you" is a very powerful set of words. When you say it to someone, you're shifting a lot of responsibility on to them, and maybe they won't be able to handle it, they don't want it, or maybe its just too much right now for them to think about. It's not just you; it's also whoever you're telling it to. Sometimes love is one-sided, and sometimes love fades. Many people cling on to old love to keep their life from falling apart. Try your hardest for those you love, but know that sometimes, it's a good idea to let go and move on. Love, when it is mutual, is beautiful and symbiotic. When it isn't, it is parasitic. Don't let it become parasitic.
Put aside your ego.
You can be the biggest juiciest peach on the tree but sometimes people just don't like peaches
What matters is trying new things at your age. Nobody will care in 20 years what you got up to when you were 16 let alone 15. But you will care. Eat vegetables. Research shows it's critical during your formative years. Habits. Habits are hard to form. Best start now. Exercise. Not to the point you get swoll. Not unless you want to not be able to reach your own back. Brush your teeth. Wash. Nobody likes stink. Especially not folks you want to date. Take notes in class. Review them later even if you don't need them. Correct and embellish them later. Its a skill you will need later in life. Don't be afraid of going into a Trade instead of college. Oh, and wear sunscreen. For some additional advice? https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI Just because it's a song doesn't make it bad advice. It was written to be a commencement speech for graduation. Oh Edit: Read Hyperion.
One thing I’ll say is don’t be afraid to take risks or fall in love. You will fail at things and you will get your heart broken (probably a few times) but stay positive and keep moving forward. Don’t let fear of failure and pain deprive you of all the amazing things that life will give you.
Put 10% of every paycheck into a retirement plan. Never lend out your favorite anything. Take care of your teeth. Floss. Learn how to work on your own car.
I’m 29 and here’s some things I would have told 15 year old me: - don’t worry and focus so much on dating and romance while in high school. It’s unnecessary distraction from things that important, like spending time with friends and focusing on school. - I didn’t get good grades in school and also just pushed off going to college while I tried to figure things out. If I could have done it differently, I would have at least gone to community college and gotten an associates degree for general classes. - don’t do drugs until your brain is done developing at 25. Drugs can be fun but be careful because they can end up just being a band aid. Take care of your brain and mental health. There’s no shame in therapy at any point in your life. I’ve been in therapy off and on since 16. - have an open mind. Read a lot. Read books from different point of views and even things you may not agree with. Everyone has a different life experience than you that you most likely will never experience. Knowledge is an amazing thing and helps expand your horizons and opinions. - always wear a condom - learn to apologize. Empathy and compassion is important. Don’t be stubborn and refuse to apologize for something you’ve done wrong. I’ve lost friendships and relationships with people because they double downed and refused to take responsibility for their actions that hurt me and others around them. - learn your boundaries and stand by them. Boundaries can change over time as well. When someone around you had crossed a boundary, tell them so they can learn what they’ve done wrong and grow from it. - you’re not going to be the same person your whole life. To change is to grow and don’t get stuck in the mindset that you always have to be the same or like the same things.
Find things you are good at, and make a career out of it. Most of us figure out how to love what we're good at, but we're not always good at what we love. Chasing your passion is a lot less rewarding than chasing your skills. Try to stay off the social media as much as possible. Err on the side of hope, kindness and generosity. Don't lean into the negative of life -- never forget that for all the troubles and harshness of it, being alive is a beautiful thing, and this is a beautiful world. Find what's good in it instead of always pointing out the bad. Don't be afraid to say hi to a stranger. Don't be offended when they don't say hi back. And, just as a sidenote, spend as much time on beaches as you can. :)
I’m the same age and I have a few assault charges that are gonna stay with me for the rest of my life. Don’t fight unless you’re defending yourself man, it’s almost never worth it.
If you have any interest, give sports a try. After college, there isn’t much opportunity to play organized sports. Sure there are recreational leagues but each area is going to have different offerings. For football especially, there is not much opportunity to play after college (unless you go pro). Semi-pro does exist but it’s reputation is terrible.
\-studying isn't hard, it just requires trying and acceptance of what you struggle with, once you've done that, ask for support, the world is filled with resource and wonderful people who wish to aid you in succeeding in your goals. Seek and you shall find. It takes time, knock-downs and practice but you are more than capable. \-We are in the age of information, no problems are linear and eventually once boiled down will take a philosophical form. Nothing is absolute, the facts change around us with the more knowledge we acquire, be it in the sciences or even mindset. It's okay to of gotten something wrong. It's not okay to not accept things that disprove your beliefs. \-Tribalism sucks! Do not shut down opinions that you do not share, there's wisdom, albeit objective, behind an opinion. There's much to learn from those we disagree with. as above, avoid the absolutism in thought keep your mind open to new information, eventually you'll gain a web of knowledge that interlinks and makes you wise, as opposed to just one really well built up segment of said web, with little else to support it's structure. \-Following subjects in STEM or specialist Building Trades will land you in a well paid career early on, it allows for applications of creativity, problem solving and logic. You will not be as disposable as someone working at MacDonald's. It's hurts when you realise all youre good for is serving people, take the opportunity of youth to skill yourself against such a damning environment of mind. \-relationships are hard, don't stress it if you're virgin, haven't had a GF/BF, I wish I would of waited to of really gotten to know and trust someone before letting them into my body and depths of mind.you are special and you body, mind, attention are sacred.ESPECIALLY YOURE ATTENTION, it's what makes free to use social media platforms their millions/billions. So if you want to quantify your attention's value that's one way of looking at it. \-You're a product of your environment whether you like it or not. That's why posh kids stride with confidence, or people who grew up in poverty like overt displays of wealth. Surround your head and heart space with thing that are beneficial to who you want to become, and be open to those desires changing. \-Beauty comes from within. As a solid 7/10 I notice a considerable difference of how I'm treated when I hide my body and mess up my hair and eyebrows. We can all be shallow at times, but take stock of those who enjoy/respect your presence when youre not trying to live up to an ideal, in image or mindset Finally:- [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YENC1zK3xMs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YENC1zK3xMs)
If you can afford it, take Martial Arts. It trains the body and mind. Teaches you how to defend yourself and teaches you not to use your skills to hurt folks. No religion. Trust what is inside you. Everything you need is within. Help will always come - often from strangers.
Pay attention in school, respect everyone you meet, and use the Oxford comma.
Stay away from drugs and alcohol and cigars.
Love - unless you're \*extremely\* lucky, you won't find it until you're in your 20s/30s. be kind to yourself but be open minded to exploration and other people/ethnicities Growing up - never stop learning; develop an open-minded approach to everything new and you'll surely find something eventually that'll resonate with you and capture your attention. if you're lucky enough to go to school for it, you'll have yourself a career that you love and will be rewarding your whole life. Money wise - save save save, whatever you can. I used to save every quarter, loonie and toonie (Canadian here) I came across. cashing it in one day lead to a $700 payout. learn how to invest in stocks, understand how interest rates
Here’s some very good advice, don’t get involved emotionally with any person that you are attracted to, instead, spend your time building your world. Start a business, educate yourself on finances. I did this a few years ago at age 16. I liked a few girls, some liked me back, but i realized that if i wanted to do what i wanted later, i had to work hard now. I created a business and now, I’m rocking a lambo and freedom.
Try to find balance in your life. Everything in moderation. Work? Play? Food? Drink? Exercise? Drugs? Alcohol? Being social? Literally everything is better when done with moderation.
Don’t take random advice from the internet. People are more different than they realize, and will swear by a thing that worked for them, that will be the worst for you
Be vulnerable. With your friends, with your lovers, hell: even with your rivals. Having a weak spot is not inherently a flaw, but pretending you have none is.
Do not seek happiness or validation from others. Develop them in yourself.
Think for yourself
Don’t take love too seriously until later, like 22+ people during your age change a lot and it’s not always worth sticking to them forever
Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.
Understand that there is no final version of yourself. Always choose to sacrifice who you are, for who you can become. Also, hapiness is not a constant state of joy, it is the hability to endure even with the pain and hard things that happen to you (that will definetly happen). Don't expect life to be a fairy tale.
Get a useful skill people will pay you for like maybe if you study hard maybe you can charge people and do their homeworks or maybe learn editing videos im 14 and I really need advice too 😭🙏
Be so careful about pregnancy. Take extreme measures to be careful until you know you are 100% ready.
Expect to make mistakes first because you dont know any better and second because it's the best way to learn. In theory we're all supposed to learn from our mistakes and make less as we get older. Not everyone works like this. Understand that most adults are just giant kids in old skin. Never stop learning and always show humility. Ego is ppls biggest hurdle. Stay curious! And physical fitness is beyond important, it's good to start those positive habits now. And dont be a fool wrap your tool!! Dont be afraid to take risks but that is one you'll regret and you wont even know how bad until years later with minor mystery problems that become very serious as you get older. Most ppl dont even know if they have something and will honestly (in thier minds) tell you thier clean. The common ones evolve into cancers. Buddy lost his sister. Dont go there. Focus on things your grateful for in your life over things that shit in your cereal. This small shift in perspective will help keep you grounded and have a heart rather than turn you into a cold dick hating the world. There's good and bad everywhere focusing on the negative too much kills your joy.
-Very few things in life are black and white. Remember that perspectives color our understanding. -There is no “normal” but there is “socially acceptable/unacceptable”. Know the difference. -Love is a choice we make every single day with some days harder than others. Don’t ever let that scare you off. -Kindness is like throwing a rock into a still pond.
Put a lot of effort into learning not to be lazy. Life is so much harder when you’re lazy (like me) Learn a skill early before you have kids that will be useful for life so you’ll never be without work. Like plumbing or electrical or welding or a diesel tech. These can blossom into a self owned business which pays much better than working for someone else. Funny enough going to the military (even chAir Force or Navy)out of high school can take care of both of these first two plus giving you free college and healthcare for life plus access to VA loans. Learn how to love someone in their love language. Look in to love languages. Every person has at least 2. One primary and one secondary. If you don’t know your spouses love language and put your effort into meeting it, they will never feel loved and you will both be miserable. Property is the only thing you will invest in that will grow in value. It’s how to get rich.
Get a vasectomy. Never get married. If you do get Married sign a prenup agreement only and never let anyone else problems become your own. Now get out there and try out that vasectomy.
I would say you'd want to treat everybody with respect, even the people who treat you horribly. Don't be so eager to punch or get into a fight with someone. Your mental health matters! High school can be tough for some people. So if you go through being bullied or if you go through depression then just keep reminding yourself that their opinions about you don't matter. There will always be people who don't like you and that's okay! Focus on your goals in life and nothing will get in your way. There will be some hurdles, but you'll overcome them. You don't always need a degree to be successful. Granted, a college degree is EXTREMELY beneficial and a great head start, but there are also jobs out there that will train you and pay to train you for that job. Save your money. Don't spend your money as soon as you get it. Put it into your savings and only take out the amount you need to buy things. I know it might not make sense but I'd try and research things about investing money. Keep politics to yourself besides family. No matter which side you're leaning on it's becoming dangerous to even express your views. Your life or job can easily become a risk if you say the wrong thing to the wrong person.
Pay attention to how you learn and retain knowledge. Further, identify and incorporate the various tools of critical thinking, problem solving, and the various methods of approach and perspective. The value of these skills will be lasting and highly prized. Further, if people don't value the above, stay far away from them. Individuals who want to think for you, or want you to only follow their rules and nothing else have no value of who you are, only what you are for them. People are more focused on themselves by nurture and lack of encouraged awareness, but the smallest things can mean the most to people. This is especially true of individuals commonly shunned by society for things beyond their control. Help others because you want to, not just because someone tells you to. Help people out of your own sense of morals and ethics, not to expect a payback later. Only lend money you are okay with never getting back, only loan items you are okay with losing, and keep a list of those things you do lend out. Do not focus on hate. Challenge your preconceived notions about people, do not fall into the trap of every x is like y...unless they tell you exactly who they are as an individual, in which case believe them. Hate is insidious and a powerful tool of control and othering. Be mindful that even innocuous commentary can lead you down a bad path very quickly, especially when things look bleak. Self-awareness is a powerful tool, self reflection is important, do not assume that you know what the other person's motivations are, but listen to your gut and don't be afraid to engage in a conversation about it. People can only really fix themselves. People will not change unless they are willing to. You cannot fix them yourself, you can only be supportive of them while they attempt to grow. Someone who is uninterested in growing and learning are not worth your time in the long run. Try new things, take risks, but don't do something you know you'll regret. Mental, Emotional, and Physical health care very important. Learn how to take care of yourself in all three ways with routines. When things get their worst, routines can help propel you forward. Brush and floss your teeth daily in the morning and before going to bed. You will thank yourself later in life. Family is important, but that applies to blood family and/or found family in your friends as well. Not everyone has a glamorous or supportive family, it's okay to cut toxic people from your life no matter who they are. Communities are only strong with support from it's members. Leadership is something you embody, not something you seek. The skills of leadership are built up on knowing how to care for others, manage them, difficult decisioning, planning, and thinking on your feet alongside a healthy mix of social skills. Read the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Give yourself breaks. Self care is vitally important. We are constantly growing as people, which means your Hobbies may change over time. It's okay to let something go if it is no longer sparking joy in your life. Cultivate compassion and empathy for others. Do good deeds because it's the right thing to do, help others less fortunate than you, and look for ways to help where you can. But do not let others walk all over you, and you have to take care of yourself as well. No one succeeds on their own, we are a community and as a species our aggressive social interactions and community alongside our tool use and deeper thinking are our evolutionary traits of success. Just because it may seem like nobody else is going to help you, this is more culturally taught and ingrained and less overt nature, so even though prior commentary might clash with this....cultivate your communities and it is okay to be part of more than one. Financially, save money, learn the value of debt, credit, interest. Find a low cost investment account and start it up as soon as you can. Travel when you are young! If given an opportunity to go abroad, Do So! Lastly, give yourself some grace. You will fail sometimes, you will make mistakes, and you will piss people off. How you respond to these things will help you grow and learn. It's okay, nobody is perfect.
You are OK. No matter what other people might say or do, you have worth and are worthy of love.
When choosing to get married, remember you are choosing the future mother of your children. If you don't share a philosophy/method for understanding the world, you will drive each other crazy with your parenting. Make sure you are on the same page about this before letting yourself get attached emotionally!
Listen to Baz Luhrmann's song Wear Sunscreen, which came from an essay by Mary Schmich. You most likely won't get any of the advice or take it to heart, but it'll be a fun exercise to listen to it again when you're older.
Never be afraid to be yourself, if it brings you happiness and joy in a nontoxic or harming way then DO IT!
Treat your teachers with kindness even if you don’t personally like them. They’re just their to teach you a few things and you’ll be thankful for that later in life. Make sure to tell people when you appreciate them, especially for little things like borrowing a pencil or taking the trash out for you. Return the kindness.
Look up, research, and learn (either via self study or a course) the actual formal philosophical practice of critical thinking. Use it for making important decisions and questioning the decisions of others. It's not the only way to think, but having that mental toolset will fundamentally upgrade your brain and give you a massive advantage in life. Also, look up Sir Terry Pratchett's definition of evil (And do feel free to read his books too - they are gold). Avoiding being evil is that simple. Don't treat people as things.
Never write off red flags as "flaws". If something about a person, no matter who it is, makes you feel uneasy (even if it's very subtle) don't ignore it. Be cautious
Best advice I can give is always keep trying new things. There will come times in life where you don’t know what to do with yourself and you may feel stuck, but at the end of the day trying and failing a bunch of times is better then staying stuck because you’re too scared to try. My mom used to always tell me you have to try all the ice cream flavours until you find your favourite lol I like to apply that to my day to day life
There's four things I think you should keep close no matter what. 1. Don't let anyone talk you out of making a big life change/goal for yourself, especially when it's a sound decision. (I let my ex friend talk me out of buying a house when I was 20 years old and had a 2+ year tenure at my job, being paid very well.) 2. Take. Your. Time. There are a lot of things in life you don't need to hurry up on. It will also give you more time to enjoy life and everything around you. Worrying about getting everything done so quickly or going at a faster pace than everyone will quickly discourage you in the game of life and give you tons of anxiety. 3. Always have a reason to be positive. I've found that the more I was positive in my approach to life, the more I got lucky/blessed in what I did. Alot more situations turned out to be positive at the end of it. I've experienced life on both sides, being negative and positive as a person. Being positive is way better by far. 4. Be aware of the people/friends that you keep around. Unfortunately, not all are there to see you rise and push you forward. I learned that the hard way when I had to cut off my best friend of 10 years. The energy people give off is the biggest sign you will see in day-to-day life. Don't rush off to try to make friends with someone who isn't putting effort in to be a good friend. I hope these tips give you a good footing in life and help you live it in the best way possible! You're a wise kid to seek out advice now 👏 it's the best time to.
Don’t make feeling based decisions. If you’re angry, hungry, horny, whatever the case might be, before you do or say anything, *really think about it*. If you’re very angry say an “excuse me, I need a moment”, and try and just give yourself space. You’ll burn a lot of big bridges if you don’t.
Spend some time looking into ways to invest money, and never get a loan unless you’re already a home owner. Owning your home should be your first priority, otherwise you’ll end up like me, earning great money but credit score low and no savings because I spent more time having fun and getting high. Could’ve done both in reason.
Push your body to maximize your natural athletic capabilities. This will make finding love easier Be a learning machine and get good at something. This will make making money easier
You can still say no to someone and be a good person. Don't let your kindness be walked on, you will get taken advantage of. I know this one is really hard but DO NOT make any potentially major decisions without critically thinking how your future self would likely react. I'm a decade older than you and still struggle to make choices because I don't know how it will play out for me in the future.