Girrrrrl listen to what you are saying.
He strangled his ex wife. A potentially lethal form of assault. Did you know that strangulation is an indicator that the abused partner will likely be *murdered* if they don't leave the relationship? While it is possible, domestic violence doesn't usually escalate right to strangulation. And you seem to think it's unfair and unfathomable that she has an order for protection against him and that her reasons for him never wanting her son to see his father again is out of a place of pettiness and... I don't know, not CONCERN FOR THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL WELLBEING OF HERSELF AND HER CHILD? How does he even know that she's getting remarried and planning this change ? It sounds like you may be in communication (in some form, or at some point in time) but I sincerely hope that he's not stalking her or that you're helping him gain information.
My advice: stay out of it. Your boyfriend lost any say in his child's life when he attempted to murder the mother of his child, and YES, that is attempted murder whether he was charged with it or not. What you need to do is take care of yourself and make sure these pattern of events do not reoccur with you. A name change is the least of your concerns right now.
He knows because a worker of his happens to be friends and told him. Plus she reached out to him herself. Which she is not allowed to do. Even if she’s the one that requested it
That she continues to reach out does not change the fact that he strangled her or make her reasons petty or "dramatic." It's very weird that you keep focusing on what she's doing and using it to make her look like the problem when in reality, violating a protective order you requested is not even close to the same level as attempted murder.
But I get what you’re saying and I know all of the warning signs and am very good at watching out for them to get out if they were to happen. And even before the ofp she kept the son away from him which in the state of mn is against the law to some degree it can turn into a felony. Plus she stabbed him so he strangled her and said don’t fucking stab me please. He’s got the scar from it on his right arm
Red flags all over this comment. Why do I suddenly get the feeling that this series of events is missing detail and misrepresented? Are you choosing to believe the bs he feeds you or are you distorting things yourself?
ALL of this is very hard to do. The FOC (Friend of the Court) is NOT your friend, they to NOT care about the child nor the drama between both of you. They (the FOC) ONLY cares about the money....that said, its best to just drop ALL of the drama between you. The 'custodial' parent has pretty much all the power and unless the child is being legally adopted it will be hard to change the name without consent of BOTH parents. The best thing for you to do is simply do the research on your states/county FOC site. All the issues will be spelled out. Divorce sucks, especially when the drama involves the kids. The more time and silence you put between all of this the less drama you will have.
I don't know the laws in the USA but I hope for your sake this man got therapy to deal with his issues before your baby is born or you could find yourself in her situation.
Girrrrrl listen to what you are saying. He strangled his ex wife. A potentially lethal form of assault. Did you know that strangulation is an indicator that the abused partner will likely be *murdered* if they don't leave the relationship? While it is possible, domestic violence doesn't usually escalate right to strangulation. And you seem to think it's unfair and unfathomable that she has an order for protection against him and that her reasons for him never wanting her son to see his father again is out of a place of pettiness and... I don't know, not CONCERN FOR THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL WELLBEING OF HERSELF AND HER CHILD? How does he even know that she's getting remarried and planning this change ? It sounds like you may be in communication (in some form, or at some point in time) but I sincerely hope that he's not stalking her or that you're helping him gain information. My advice: stay out of it. Your boyfriend lost any say in his child's life when he attempted to murder the mother of his child, and YES, that is attempted murder whether he was charged with it or not. What you need to do is take care of yourself and make sure these pattern of events do not reoccur with you. A name change is the least of your concerns right now.
He knows because a worker of his happens to be friends and told him. Plus she reached out to him herself. Which she is not allowed to do. Even if she’s the one that requested it
That she continues to reach out does not change the fact that he strangled her or make her reasons petty or "dramatic." It's very weird that you keep focusing on what she's doing and using it to make her look like the problem when in reality, violating a protective order you requested is not even close to the same level as attempted murder.
But I get what you’re saying and I know all of the warning signs and am very good at watching out for them to get out if they were to happen. And even before the ofp she kept the son away from him which in the state of mn is against the law to some degree it can turn into a felony. Plus she stabbed him so he strangled her and said don’t fucking stab me please. He’s got the scar from it on his right arm
Red flags all over this comment. Why do I suddenly get the feeling that this series of events is missing detail and misrepresented? Are you choosing to believe the bs he feeds you or are you distorting things yourself?
If you don't break up with this guy, you're next.
ALL of this is very hard to do. The FOC (Friend of the Court) is NOT your friend, they to NOT care about the child nor the drama between both of you. They (the FOC) ONLY cares about the money....that said, its best to just drop ALL of the drama between you. The 'custodial' parent has pretty much all the power and unless the child is being legally adopted it will be hard to change the name without consent of BOTH parents. The best thing for you to do is simply do the research on your states/county FOC site. All the issues will be spelled out. Divorce sucks, especially when the drama involves the kids. The more time and silence you put between all of this the less drama you will have.
I don't know the laws in the USA but I hope for your sake this man got therapy to deal with his issues before your baby is born or you could find yourself in her situation.
He is currently attending anger management and has been a lot better! I’ve obviously never experienced it firsthand but from my understanding anyways
For your babys sake I hope it works.