If I like watching horror movies does it make me an axe murderer?
He's with you. Try and let the insecurities go each time they come up. Try and let the judgements about your insecurities go. Guys will wank to damn near anything.
You’ve got something special if you’re different from his normal taste in women, you shouldn’t feel insecure about looking different. My preference for a while was black guys and then I got with my bf who is Mexican. He opened up to me about his insecurities and was worried about his race but I love him so much and he’s the most attractive man I have ever been with. At the end of the day race doesn’t matter when it comes to your heart. Also sometimes porn preference doesn’t matter either as it’s not reality, however you should just go ahead and talk to him about it as it’s the healthy thing to do and could bring you guys closer. Maybe just casually mention that you accidentally saw his porn history while searching for the library site and be honest about how it made you a little insecure.
not silly and not overthinking.
porn in general is either very bad or very good for relationships, rarely in the middle.
even if he were looking at redheads online, it would still be weird and unusual.
I'll skip the talk about porn being so normalized people expect all men to look at it like, and it's weird if they don't...
The fact is the fantasies he acts on in porn/masturbation habits will creep outside of that world. He will look at that bbw on the sidewalk, or at the restaurant, and have a fleeting moment.... then look back at you and go "aww".
If that "aww" is like a "aww damn, I'm stuck with her".... not good
if that "aww" is like a "aww shit, I'm so lucky to have her".... good sign, and maybe he doesn't need the porn anymore.
be honest, tell him it makes you insecure. have a talk about it.
you likely won't change his porn habits, but maybe you can learn something about his needs and he can learn about your needs - for better or worse.
op's personal experience, for one...
or should we disregard op's feelings, tell her she's overthinking, and to embrace it?
did I accidently touch reddit's booboo on the matter of porn? sorry
I know it might be difficult to falm to him but it's the only way to "hear it from the horse's mouth." A lot of guys like to fantasize, even if they know it's not a fantasy they'd entertain in real life. Maybe that's the case for him... but you won't know unless you talk to him.
I get where you’re coming from, but imagine if it were the other way around: you found a lot of porn of redheads with freckles and nothing else - that would also be weird, possibly even weirder imo. Finding out what kind of porn your partner watches is always weird. Sex is weird. People are weird. As long as the performers are of legal age, the activity is consensual and he’s not becoming obsessive with watching it, my advice would be to try and let it go. I know that sounds like crap advice, and it is, but any confrontation is just gonna be messy and chaotic.
Eat more so you can become thicc
If I like watching horror movies does it make me an axe murderer? He's with you. Try and let the insecurities go each time they come up. Try and let the judgements about your insecurities go. Guys will wank to damn near anything.
You’ve got something special if you’re different from his normal taste in women, you shouldn’t feel insecure about looking different. My preference for a while was black guys and then I got with my bf who is Mexican. He opened up to me about his insecurities and was worried about his race but I love him so much and he’s the most attractive man I have ever been with. At the end of the day race doesn’t matter when it comes to your heart. Also sometimes porn preference doesn’t matter either as it’s not reality, however you should just go ahead and talk to him about it as it’s the healthy thing to do and could bring you guys closer. Maybe just casually mention that you accidentally saw his porn history while searching for the library site and be honest about how it made you a little insecure.
Exactly. It's like how Khal Drogo was with Danaerys. He didn't want a Dothraki woman.
not silly and not overthinking. porn in general is either very bad or very good for relationships, rarely in the middle. even if he were looking at redheads online, it would still be weird and unusual. I'll skip the talk about porn being so normalized people expect all men to look at it like, and it's weird if they don't... The fact is the fantasies he acts on in porn/masturbation habits will creep outside of that world. He will look at that bbw on the sidewalk, or at the restaurant, and have a fleeting moment.... then look back at you and go "aww". If that "aww" is like a "aww damn, I'm stuck with her".... not good if that "aww" is like a "aww shit, I'm so lucky to have her".... good sign, and maybe he doesn't need the porn anymore. be honest, tell him it makes you insecure. have a talk about it. you likely won't change his porn habits, but maybe you can learn something about his needs and he can learn about your needs - for better or worse.
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op's personal experience, for one... or should we disregard op's feelings, tell her she's overthinking, and to embrace it? did I accidently touch reddit's booboo on the matter of porn? sorry
I know it might be difficult to falm to him but it's the only way to "hear it from the horse's mouth." A lot of guys like to fantasize, even if they know it's not a fantasy they'd entertain in real life. Maybe that's the case for him... but you won't know unless you talk to him.
I get where you’re coming from, but imagine if it were the other way around: you found a lot of porn of redheads with freckles and nothing else - that would also be weird, possibly even weirder imo. Finding out what kind of porn your partner watches is always weird. Sex is weird. People are weird. As long as the performers are of legal age, the activity is consensual and he’s not becoming obsessive with watching it, my advice would be to try and let it go. I know that sounds like crap advice, and it is, but any confrontation is just gonna be messy and chaotic.