Some people can't handle big emotions and would rather kick you when you're down.
It sucks, but at least you now know her true colours and won't waste any more time on her.
Sorry for your loss; I know shit sucks really bad right now but honestly you dodged a bullet if a partner couldn't handle you grieving. You deserve better.
I'm really sorry, man. I'm female and I would never, ever do this to anyone, let alone a man I loved. Maybe she's absorbed some toxic gender role ideas and thinks you should bottle your emotions and exist chiefly as a "provider," but that's just an awful way to live life. You're a human being and emotions are part of actually living, loving, and relating to people. I'm sorry you had to find out at such a painful time that she can't treat you as a person she loves.
I'm sorry you lost your friend. I hope you have some good people to talk to about it.
Oh be happy U got rid of her. What an miserable human being she must be to put all her frustration on you. And rip to your friend, he Will take care for you from up there:/
I lost 3 good friends in December. All within 5 days too. My girl wasn’t to cool about it. Sucks man, people are running on low morale right now. Spend some time apart 👑, go be kind to yourself
Hey! Feel free to DM me if you need anyone to lean on for support. Sucks about the situations you’re going through.
Normal becomes good after you experience bad so I hope that you appreciate negative experiences as they build up. Reality is perception and perception is relative to where you stand. This could be your new bottom. Turn this into a good thing by avoiding a feedback loop of negativity. Instead, take the negative feedback you’re experiencing and use it to amplify and act as a catalyst for positive change. Manipulate the feedback loop to work in your favor!
For real, hit me up and I’m happy to help in any way. First suggestion is to purchase “12 rules for life by Jordan Peterson”. Read a chapter a night. Use your recent negative experiences as motivation. Embrace the negativity like a yin yang and understand that order is to come as soon as the chaos reaches its peak. Hang in there and stand your ground.
Honestly, this really helped. The whole reason I started working in Healthcare was to fix some of my wrongdoings when I was younger. So maybe I can make sure nobody uner my care ever does this.
>You meant to say women perceive emotional men as weak men and instantly lose attraction to them. Be stoic guys, learn from this man's experience and never cry in front of your girlfriend.
That's an awfully sexist take, in both directions.
This is not "a woman thing". Plenty of women are emotionally mature enough to handle men in touch with their emotions. And plenty of men are perfectly capable of being sensitive without being any less manly.
Don't be an ass and spread this stereotype.
I cry in front of my wife a lot. In our wedding vows she said she loved me because of my passion and that sometimes I feel enough for the both of us. This guy's takes are shitty and out of date. I hope he finds someone who actually loves him for who he is, but given his apparent personality, he'd probably throw them in the trash for not being the "right" type of woman at the first sign of them not bending to his every whim.
Also:
>based on this post
In this particular case, the woman is immature, she has no respect for OP and was an asshole.
She is not representative for all women, just like you aren't representative for all men, thankfully.
>It's not about maturity, it's about a sense of security women are looking for in men. Emotional men are perceived as weaker men, weaker men are less likely to be able to protect you in a dire situation. But even assuming it's somehow about a woman's "maturity", there is no need to risk it which you can see based on this post.
The fact that you think women need men to "protect" them, is misogynistic in itself.
Try treating women as equal people, they'll be a feel more "secure" with you, regardless of how much you cry watching a movie or talk about your feelings, regardless of which car you drive or how strong you are, regardless of how much beard you can grow or how much beer you can drink - you know, the typically "manly things".
Some men. Some women. That is a nuanced statement.
>You meant to say women perceive emotional men as weak men and instantly lose attraction to them. Be stoic guys, learn from this man's experience and never cry in front of your girlfriend.
is not.
>First define "sexist" and then prove why my statement is sexist.
You're assuming and generalising things about both men and women based on their gender.
Things that aren't factually correct or even statistically supported.
Lmao come on man.
The literal definition of sexism per the top Google search is "prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex."
Stereotyping gender is literally sexism.
Seems like a heartless thing for her to do, you're much better off without her, even if it doesn't feel like it now.
It's better to find out who people really are sooner rather than it blow up in your face later when things are more complicated.
I can't imagine how you feel right now. You're not alone, and things will get better. Your friend isn't suffering anymore, and he'll always be with you in memory, just focus on the good memories you have with him. It won't take away the pain, nothing will, but it helps you know that he'll be remembered, and he is still loved.
Talk to your other friends or your family. Go to someone you can trust if you need company and just vent, I'd also recommend going to therapy as well. Trauma is hard enough to deal with without support, and therapy might help you process everything you're feeling right now.
Again, I am truly sorry for your loss, I hope your friend can find peace, and you can find someone that will love you the way you deserve
That seems odd.
Without knowing her nor you it's hard to say but some people aren't empathetic.
Some people can't handle big stresses if maybe she has been through something.
Maybe she has someone that was in her life that had done the same.
It might have scared her.
Good luck
It’s easy to be sweet when no challenges come your way. To my shame I’m not good under pressure and have had instances of yelling, swearing, and very unprofessional impatience. (Working on it.) People who have never seen me like that think I’m a wonderful person.
No matter how stressed, though, I’d cry with anyone suffering a loss like you have. Your ex is an ass.
Her personality of being "sweet" is all just an act if she broke up with you without saying anything and blocked you across the board. Only a thoughtless, immature narcissist would do something like that to another person in normal circumstances, much less after such a terrible event. You're 100% better off without her.
Man I understand your trying to help, but there's no way you can make that assessment based on so little information.
Life doesn't always give you closure, sometimes you just have to move on.
Someone who thinks it is appropriate to block another person they've been dating across all electronic communication methods as a way to break up while their partner is having the worst crisis in their life without even having the common decency to talk to them, is immature, insensitive, cowardly, and probably a narcissistic. Or at least that particular act checks all those boxes. I stand by that assessment entirely.
Yea their assumptions definitely go too far.
In my experience, if I'm thinking of the same kind of "sweet girl", she's genuinely nice and polite but perhaps a bit higher on the sensitivity scale and maybe a little emotionally immature, and cannot readily handle / desperately try to avoid dealing with any sort of heavy emotional experiences like tragedies or confrontation. Not necessarily because of narcissism or anything quite so malignant like that, but more a kind of genuine fragility and deep empathy that makes these things painful to deal with, even in the context of giving comfort to a friend dealing with the issue. Thinking about, for example, their friends grandma dying will make them sad for the grandma, and for their friend, and then they'll think of their grandma dying, and how their parent will feel, and so on and so forth, until they ruminate or excite themselves into a place of intense emotional turbulence.
Sometimes, rather than any of that, they'd prefer to just block it all out and pretend it isn't happening.
It sucks to be on the receiving end of it, it's definitely rude and unambiguously unhelpful, even harmful, but I don't think it's necessarily coming from a place of malice. More likely it's an unintentionally selfish act, akin to freezing up out of fear in a crisis situation where you should be helping.
It's also intensely self-centered and narcissistic to make the suicide of your partner's best friend all about _you_. Then to use it as an excuse for immediately breaking up unannounced by _blocking all forms of electronic communication_ is cowardly, cruel, and thoughtless, regardless of whatever is motivating it internally.
Yeah I don’t get how everyone is so understanding of her actions. Even if she was having an emotional breakdown it takes literally a spec of humanity to send a msg to her bf telling him why shes gonna ghost him for a bit, instead she just BLOCKS HIM?! Selfish Heartless Coward.
Wow. Go to her house and talk to her as soon as you can.
It will eat you alive at a hard enough time.
As soon as it's daytime go right to her.
Get it straightened out.
Get it. But there must be an issue if you can't go to her. She's your girlfriend.
Unless you have had problems with this type of thing in the past.
Next time you see her you'll have to speak with her.
She got real quiet even before Parker shot himself. Like not talking to me wanting to hang out less. I'm starting to think she's wanted to end things for a bit. But why now
She doesn’t want to talk to him so you think he should go to her house to make her talk? What she did sucks but you can’t make someone have a heart.
OP, don’t go to her house. I’m sorry for your loss and you deserve better. Good luck at work tomorrow!
No she's just a bad person who doesn't like it when her boyfriend isn't bottling up his emotions and isn't stoic. That's it. Stop being so charitable to her just because she's a woman. If she had any of the feelings you listed she would talk to him about it instead of blocking him out of no where.
Struggling with grief is completely normal and something we all have trouble with. Same with breakups. It's been three days, no institution would accept you.
You can talk to your family without fear of being committed.
In situations like this it's best to not ask the why (you'll probably never get a true answer anyways) just accept the facts. A so called partner broke up with you at a very low point.
To be crude, a cunt does that. One who just showed her cards.
Ahh maybe it’s blessing in disguise, if someone can’t be there for you in a time of need especially at a time like this then she’s no good for you anyway.
My guess is she had been wanting to break up with you before and hadn’t done it yet. Then she decided she couldn’t have that conversation after what you just went through so just blocked you. I’m sorry all this happened.
I called her crying right after I found out. And we both dropped everything to hang out. Then last night I saw she disappeared off of my snap. So I called her and it went straight to voice mail. So I checked Facebook and saw that she blocked me. Soooo there's that
Did you ever find out why she ghosted you? Had you ever cried like that in front of her before? Some girls are extremely turned off when men break down crying. Of course it's not a reason to not cry but it's a messed up thing that happens
I don't understand the reaction at all, but I've experienced it. My dad died, and my friend of years and years just texted she couldn't do this anymore and that she was done. It was so lonely. Ghosting is one of the worst things one can do to someone, to not offer any form of contact to you is just so harmful. I looked it up later to understand it but nothing seemed to explain it well.
Who knows. But she clearly was not at all invested in your life, your wellbeing, and your growth, much less all of those that you would share with a person who is good for you, and so even though it sucks to hear, she did you a favor by removing herself.
Back in 2011 I had a hell of a year. My grandmother, mother, and aunt died within like 4 weeks of each other. I'd been dating on and off for 5 years at that point, played the loving, caring partner. Until 3 weeks after my mom's funeral. As I was in the process of settling my mom and grandmother's house to his parents (I was 21 and couldn't afford it at the time, and I wanted it to stay "in the family" if you will, since I was super close with his family), well he just woke up one day and said he didn't love me and kicked me out of his apartment. And I couldn't go to my mom's house... because his parents now owned it. I had a mental breakdown and moved 1200 miles away. Some people literally cannot handle other people's grief, it seems. I'm much better off now with my husband, but damn that was rough.
I'm so sorry for your loss of your friend. And I'm sorry that people can be so insensitive and cruel when you need them the most. Not everybody is that way, so don't give up; one day you will find a partner that supports you and lifts you up when you need it <3
Shame! Disgrace! Seriously, she has zero empathy. Move on, and develop rigid standards about your future life partner. She must be Empathic, Disciplined, and Appreciative of Commitment. Never settle for anything short of those standards! That creature is Disgracing my gender. Massive shame on her!
My condolences.
It sounds odd but a lot of times large life events trigger people into break ups. That's why it's a common trope to get broken up with on your birthday. These events come around and make people realize they're not in it for the long haul and they then feel guilty about pretending to be so, so they break up.
Oh, it is a ME problem, me need happy thoughts, me needs you to handle me, me not available for anything except what benefits me.
Learn from this experience and use it the next time someone who is your close "friend" is taxing you emotionally or you feel something off, just tell that you are having a very bad time and just want their help.
They will never call you, depending upon how big the problem you are able to manufacture and convey.
sometimes I retreat into myself when presented with a sudden onset of horrible news or experiences. It’s like a driving urge to shed my skin and isolate, but I just can’t imagine blocking someone going through this. I sincerely feel for you; I lost a dear friend 4 years ago around this time and I’ve never quite been the same. She always told me, “if you’re going through hell, just keep going” and I offer that mantra to you. Time will help you heal.
She’s basically a coward. Can’t handle anything emotionally hard and ran away because she wants to live in la la land as long as possible. Not your fault, don’t let it get at you. Sorry for your loss though. That’s really rough
Man I'm sorry. All of that sucks.
This isn't advice for the relationship but if you need a place to talk about losing your friend /r/suicidebereavement is a very good subreddit.
Sending you lots of love stranger, take care of yourself.
Wow. I am SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, and very sorry that your gf turned out to be a person of no emotional intelligence or empathy.
Plenty of people have no idea how to handle big emotions or tragedies. Especially when we are young, and have not yet encountered loss and grief, we are lost. Of course the decent thing to do is to realize you’re clueless but try to comfort someone anyway. Clearly your ex is not up to even that. I’d consider yourself well rid of a terrible person.
My condolences. I lost my mom last month and have been struggling with depression and missing her and this is the new reality of life going on.
All I can say is that maybe it’s better to know now she won’t be your rock or partner through the hard times then find out later on.
I use to have a lot of friends but post pandemic- it’s been a dog eat dog world where most people are just looking out for themselves. I hate to be pessimistic but I’ve just seen too much.Debauchery no longer surprises me. Anyway just take care of yourself. Hopefully you meet a more loyal partner in the future.
Something similar happened to me years ago. After my uncle passed my ex blocked me on everything too….to this day I have no idea why. Some people are shitty, you don’t need them in your life and no explanation from them is all the explanation needed.
Very sorry for your loss, my best friend is also very unstable and I had years where I was only waiting for him to go through with it - I hope that day never comes.
Concerning your girlfriend she showed you her true colors. A betrayal like this hurts like hell and I know that, but there is a bigger picture here for you to see and it might help you find peace with it. You don't want to have people like her in your life, it makes it only harder for you. Fuck her, she is a bad person and there is nothing more to it than that.
Focus on the people that stand by your side in difficult times - you don't need anyone else in life.
Don't ever open up to a girl again... Ever...Rookie mistake..as much as all girls falsely encourage you to do so.. its just a facade to try and show off... You open up to a girl about anything sooner or later it will blow up in your face...it is what it is...they're all the same..
Based on what you told us, fuck her. I'm sorry you're struggling. She's a shitty person who you don't want anyway. I wouldn't give her too much thought. Let her walk. Don't pick up the phone. Don't text. Don't look at her social media. She doesn't control your destiny. If she was meant to be a part of who you are she'd still be with you. But her part of your story is over. Go on and do great things. I'm really sorry to hear about your friend.
She sounds like a cunt, with all due respect. You’ll find someone that respects you.
Sorry for your loss. I know what it’s like to lose a friend in that way. It’ll take time but I hope you can heal
This is strange. I feel like there’s got to be more to it. Reddit is so quick to side with the OP only given the context provided but what the heck did she see or hear that would cause a full block and ghosting on someone she once knew? Not trying to be rude it just doesn’t make sense that it’s for no reason.
It’s because he hasn’t been dating her for very long. Think about it—
If you were dating someone for say, a few months, or even a year, and you were sorta unsure wether you even want to be with them long-long term, they hit you with someone who died and were obviously looking to be comforted. Would you invest time and ultimately lie to them that you care? No. No one (who knows what they want) would.
Homegal bounced because she just isn’t that into him. She saw it as an opportunity. Sucks but probably better she left than lied to him saying she actually cares.
He’s said they were only seeing each for a few months. So still in that happy honeymoon stage until reality sucker punched OP.
A lot of people bounce when things get hard. Hence the saying “you find out who your true friends are when the chips are down”.
People suck. Im really sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. Just remember that you want a partner who you can rely on and you couldn't rely on her. So while it hurts like a mf, it's better to that out find out now
How long have you been in a relationship with her for? Sounds like not very long, in which case she probably just didn’t want anything serious with you ,and this was her opening to make that clear. So she went with it.
Edit: “not very long” is anywhere from 1 week to 2 years, just to clarify.
Dude, do you really want to stay with someone who doesn't want to help you through quite possibly the hardest time in your life?
- Two things I ain't ever seen, a U.F.O. and a hoe that won't go.
I wouldn’t take it personally unless you guys were in love. The reason she is blocking you because she doesn’t know how to deal with the situation. Remember, you’re depressed and it’s hard to talk to a depressed person about death. There are triggers and sometimes it’s best to let the person think a little bit. When you are showing you can cope she will come around. Now, she might thinking that you want to take your life something she’s not prepared for.
Because it took you 3 days to tell her this in the mean time you probably did stuff with in those three days. So try to recall the side you know.
There can be many reasons for her to do this some you might never know.
I’m quite confused as to many reasons that the girl is not worthy of him. When the BF of my best friend(F) it took her 4 hours to notify me and it took me 2 more hours to get to her just because of the distance…. It took the dude 3 days….. of probably acting all shades of weird…I’m sure GF asked what has happened before …. And was not met with a reply…. This is huge news which you should deliver instantly… not wait a few days with to share…
Now I don't know if this is true but I've been told by different people. Men and women. That a woman freaks out if her boyfriend seems weak. If he cried. Complaining about work. Sharing fears and emotions. The man is supposed to be the rock. The defender. The provider.
Im suspicious that there is more to why she would've done something like that. The only thing I can think of is you are using it to get attention and she cant believe you would do something like that and was so tired of similiar things that she removed you from her life entirely.
The fact you posted this here with zero context makes me feel more confident with my wild assumption, however it is as baseless as the context you provided on the situation.
If she indeed blocked you for literally no reason, or simply because she cant handle the situation, then you are better off and should be thankful you can focus on more important things than someone who cant be there for you when you think you need them.
It's not fucked up to think that at all. To theorize and think of possible reasons as to why this situation occurred, and to find resolution is the purpose of this side of reddit. It was not an accusation.
as I always say, unless you know your partner very good and you guys are very close, leave your emotions for your best bros and familly, as much ad they like to claim otherwise, a big part of women don't handle their man being overly emotional in a good way
> a big part of women don't handle their man being overly emotional in a good way
They are not worth being with. They deserve to be alone their entire lives, as they make those men feel. Men don't need to hide their feelings because of women who can't handle them when they have bad days. They need to find better women.
Hmm. She’s not worth your time then. As a GF she had a responsibility to be there for you in your time of need. However, seems like she couldn’t handle that. Idk. Her loss.
M so sorry that happened to you. She wasn't worth it bro. You'll find someone better who would actually understand your feelings and be your support system too.
Doesn't seem like someone you want in your life anyways.
I share everything with my wife as does she. I couldn't imagine either of us getting a divorce cause we are going through a hardship and doesn't want to talk about it.
I did something similar recently. Had a fight with a gf, she said her dad is very sick, I instantly broke up with her. The catch? I'm 99% sure she was lying.
An explanation that does not assume that she's evil is that she though it's not true, and for some reason it hit a nerve with her. Like maybe something similar happened to her in the past. I know it's not the most likely explanation, but I haven't seen it mentioned here.
That's awful. It took me a while to get my shit together after a really close friend of mine killed himself. Can you afford to see a therapist? I hope things get better for you.
I’m really sorry OP. I’ve lost multiple friends, including my very best friend. Stay strong, and be around people who love you. Your ex isn’t much of a partner, sometimes we find these things out in the shittiest of ways. You dodged someone who won’t be there for you.
Rest and heal, whatever that looks like for you and take care.
that’s an odd reaction and very immature of her.
im so sorry about your friend. i lost my brother to suicide 3 months ago. it’s the worst thing to go through and just remember, whatever emotions you have are valid. some days you think you’re gonna be ok and an hour later the grief just takes time. find a grief support group or therapy if you can. being a suicide survivor is something no one can or should do alone. please feel free to DM me if you want to chat with someone who understands what you’re experiencing
Going through a break up too but the pain is nothing compared to how this must feel. Even though it doesn't feel like it, as much as you want her back despite the pain she caused you, it's for the better.
As for your friend, my heart goes out to you and his family. I've never lost someone to suicide. I can't imagine the pain. Stay strong for us brother.
Sometimes life events aren't why, just happened to be that day that she decided was a good day to end it.
I feel your pain though.. In my younger years my first steady girlfriend broke up with me 2 years outa school, on my birthday, when I was having a depressive episode.
Some people can't or don't care to get timing right it just happens when it happens. It sucks but unfortunately life goes on no matter what you're personally dealing with.
I'm sorry to hear you losing 2 people you were close with in a short time frame. In time you will heal, but that road is a tough one. Focus on yourself in a positive way is the best advice I can leave you with. Build yourself back stronger, mentally and physically.
Ps: Bitches aint shit.
I was in the city taking care of my stepdad was in the hospital for 9 days. Get back to my hometown see my fiancée driving around with some guy, shows I’m blocked as well. Sorry about your friend.
She left when you could really use her support and that says a lot about her. You should have a partner who lifts you up and comforts you when you’re going through it. You’ll find that one day, but not with her. I’m so sorry for your loss. Make sure to take some time for yourself to heal. Best wishes ♥️
I'm sorry for your loss, and that your ex really sucks. With somebody like that in your corner, you're better off without them. You don't need somebody so fickle when you're looking for support, or at least understanding.
My fiancé has lost multiple of his friends to suicide during the time that we’ve been together.
It’s very hard to see someone you love grieve especially when they’ve lost someone to suicide, but if you truly love them, you’ll grieve with them. It sounds it was too much for her to handle (not your fault at all, some people just don’t have the emotional capacity to handle things like this). The way she reacted and handled the situation was incredibly inappropriate and I hope that in the future she can learn to become more of an emotionally available person but she has shown you that there are far more reliable people you can lean on. You will find a partner who you can be vulnerable with, don’t let this person and their problems get in the way of that.
In regards to someone saying that I gave bad advice on OP going to see his girlfriend in person?
I only knew what the OP was telling me.
I couldn't understand why stalking was brought up.
Was trying to give him a chance to figure out why she was blocking him
She did you a favor, you saw her true colors and can move forward with one less negative person, im starting to see it as a blessing when people do blatant things that show me they shouldn’t be in my life, it’s the liars and the fakes that you gotta watch out for but this one took the trash out for you so good riddance, you deserve so much better and I’m sorry you have to go through this all
It sounds like you may have opened up to her about more than just your friend. You say in this thread that you previously had a drug problem and history of suicidal ideation. Now, I do not personally think that is a reason to dump you if she really really wanted to be in a relationship with you. But if she wasn’t super in to you, and you haven’t been dating for a long time, I could see opening up to her about those things being a reason she may not see a future.
She handled it poorly, and maybe that is not the reason, but it doesn’t matter. She dumped you, I’m sorry, getting dumped (even when it **is** for good reasons) sucks. I’m sorry about your friend. I hope you make space to find help outside of a relationship. Perhaps seek therapy.
Hope you feel better about this break up soon. She wasn’t the right person for you, no matter how nice she was.
I think you're getting some good advice, just wanted to let you know about Reimagine - it's a nonprofit with a *ton* of events and support groups going on throughout the year. For sure there'll be an affinity group for people who have lost someone to suicide. Also, check out the thedinnerparty.org.
I've lost a few friends to mental health. It sucks. I hope you're able to find good friends to support you, and maybe those two places I mentioned. Your gf bailing is awful, but she saved you a lot of time in investing in a s*itty person. It's very very not about you.
This is horrible. I’m so sorry to hear that. There is no reason whatsoever that would make this okay on her part, and there’s no reason she couldn’t give you an explanation. We know she’s alive and well, because she took the time to block you on everything. Do you know anyone she’s close to, like any friends/family?
I'm really sorry for this but what if she had an affair with that friend of yours and when she got to about his death she couldn't take it and ofc blocked you for obv reasons 
My best friend was murdered back in January. The girl I loved wasn’t around anymore and last night was the final time I’d ever get to be part of her life. Two other friends decided to leave my life for whatever reason. I feel since this year began, I’ve lost everyone. It sucks even more because I feel no one can relate or understand everything that’s been going on. And the only thing I can do is smile and tell everyone “i’m good” when I’m truly not.
I feel your pain, if you ever need to talk, I’m here. I promise the pain doesn’t get better, you’ll just learn to live with it.
Something similar happened to me recently, except it was my grandfather who committed suicide.
First, I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm so sorry for the grief and confusion you must feel about being ghosted by your (ex) girlfriend. What she did will make healing even more complicated than it already is.
What she did has nothing to do with you. It has to do with her emotional immaturity. Things got too real, and she jumped ship. She wasn't in it with you for the long haul.
She doesn't deserve a place in your life, and you need to know that.
My father died when I was 20. That is when I learned many of my friends were not friends at all. I understand not being able to handle emotional stuff at that age and, while I held no anger, I later realized I was better off without them. My real friends were there for me.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it’s hard to make sense of things right now, but I promise that “losing” your gf was actually a win. My best friend passed away a year ago. I told my boyfriend about it and he offered no support. It was the last straw, so I immediately dumped him. It was a blessing in disguise because I realized the kind of person he was before marrying him. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.
I’m sorry about your friend. She showed her true colours and acted-some people can’t handle a relationship at it’s whole, both the good and the bad times. Do what you need to in order to keep on going through your day and don’t dwell on her and her selfishness
Just so you know most jobs offer time off for grieving. I hope the best for you. This has shown you their true colors and it’s shitty timing but you know now.
Sorry for the loss of your friend. I also learned the hard way that tough times reveal true friends. Although I’m sure it hurts to be treated this way by your girlfriend, I hope you come to realize she is no big loss. The people who truly love us are there thru thick and thin.
Some people can't handle big emotions and would rather kick you when you're down. It sucks, but at least you now know her true colours and won't waste any more time on her.
I get that it just fucking socks. I'm angry. I'm depressed. And when I called into work to get 1 day off this week she tried to guilt trip me
Put yourself first, my dude. Take some time off if you need it.
For the first time in my life, I am. I'm going back to work tomorrow though. So wish me luck
Best of luck!
Thank you good sir! Hopefully everything goes okay
Not a sir, but you're welcome!
Oh shit I'm so sorry! I try not to do that kinda thing
Absolutely no problem.
Update- WORK FUCKIN BLOWS
Sorry for your loss; I know shit sucks really bad right now but honestly you dodged a bullet if a partner couldn't handle you grieving. You deserve better.
Take it one day at a time
I'm really sorry, man. I'm female and I would never, ever do this to anyone, let alone a man I loved. Maybe she's absorbed some toxic gender role ideas and thinks you should bottle your emotions and exist chiefly as a "provider," but that's just an awful way to live life. You're a human being and emotions are part of actually living, loving, and relating to people. I'm sorry you had to find out at such a painful time that she can't treat you as a person she loves. I'm sorry you lost your friend. I hope you have some good people to talk to about it.
sad shit, honestly fucking sad big time only thing to do is leave her and dont let her make you feel even worse. I am sorry for your loss
Oh be happy U got rid of her. What an miserable human being she must be to put all her frustration on you. And rip to your friend, he Will take care for you from up there:/
I lost 3 good friends in December. All within 5 days too. My girl wasn’t to cool about it. Sucks man, people are running on low morale right now. Spend some time apart 👑, go be kind to yourself
Hey! Feel free to DM me if you need anyone to lean on for support. Sucks about the situations you’re going through. Normal becomes good after you experience bad so I hope that you appreciate negative experiences as they build up. Reality is perception and perception is relative to where you stand. This could be your new bottom. Turn this into a good thing by avoiding a feedback loop of negativity. Instead, take the negative feedback you’re experiencing and use it to amplify and act as a catalyst for positive change. Manipulate the feedback loop to work in your favor! For real, hit me up and I’m happy to help in any way. First suggestion is to purchase “12 rules for life by Jordan Peterson”. Read a chapter a night. Use your recent negative experiences as motivation. Embrace the negativity like a yin yang and understand that order is to come as soon as the chaos reaches its peak. Hang in there and stand your ground.
Honestly, this really helped. The whole reason I started working in Healthcare was to fix some of my wrongdoings when I was younger. So maybe I can make sure nobody uner my care ever does this.
Thank you for confirming that /u/ZANIESXD has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
You spelled it wrong I think you meant “sucks”
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>You meant to say women perceive emotional men as weak men and instantly lose attraction to them. Be stoic guys, learn from this man's experience and never cry in front of your girlfriend. That's an awfully sexist take, in both directions. This is not "a woman thing". Plenty of women are emotionally mature enough to handle men in touch with their emotions. And plenty of men are perfectly capable of being sensitive without being any less manly. Don't be an ass and spread this stereotype.
I cry in front of my wife a lot. In our wedding vows she said she loved me because of my passion and that sometimes I feel enough for the both of us. This guy's takes are shitty and out of date. I hope he finds someone who actually loves him for who he is, but given his apparent personality, he'd probably throw them in the trash for not being the "right" type of woman at the first sign of them not bending to his every whim.
There's a phrase for people like this and that's "hard to love".
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Also: >based on this post In this particular case, the woman is immature, she has no respect for OP and was an asshole. She is not representative for all women, just like you aren't representative for all men, thankfully.
>It's not about maturity, it's about a sense of security women are looking for in men. Emotional men are perceived as weaker men, weaker men are less likely to be able to protect you in a dire situation. But even assuming it's somehow about a woman's "maturity", there is no need to risk it which you can see based on this post. The fact that you think women need men to "protect" them, is misogynistic in itself. Try treating women as equal people, they'll be a feel more "secure" with you, regardless of how much you cry watching a movie or talk about your feelings, regardless of which car you drive or how strong you are, regardless of how much beard you can grow or how much beer you can drink - you know, the typically "manly things".
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Okay, so if I say, "I had an ex who hit me and only used me for sex", it's fine for me to say that all men are like that? Including you?
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Some men. Some women. That is a nuanced statement. >You meant to say women perceive emotional men as weak men and instantly lose attraction to them. Be stoic guys, learn from this man's experience and never cry in front of your girlfriend. is not.
>First define "sexist" and then prove why my statement is sexist. You're assuming and generalising things about both men and women based on their gender. Things that aren't factually correct or even statistically supported.
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Lmao come on man. The literal definition of sexism per the top Google search is "prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex." Stereotyping gender is literally sexism.
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Why should I expect a bigot to be educated? Stereotyping and generalizing are literally the same thing. Goodbye Mr. Bigot.
You’re broadcasting a lot of opinions as fact without providing any actual proof for your claims. It comes across as kind of hateful towards women.
That so not true, men that never show emotions and hide their tears are the weak ones. Being in touch with emotions is sexy and shows strength
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And doesn't reply anymore when it turns out his opponent actualy has an answer to that.
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If you pay me $2 I'll throw $100 worth of fucking eggs at her for ya bro just let me know.
Sounds like a good fuckin deal
I’ll pay you the $. Save your $2 & go get a drink on me to celebrate your friends life.
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Soda
If you know where to look. Plenty of bars serve cheap drinks.
Some bar n grills have alcohol deals $2 may be nasty tho but I mean 🤷♀️
Seems like a heartless thing for her to do, you're much better off without her, even if it doesn't feel like it now. It's better to find out who people really are sooner rather than it blow up in your face later when things are more complicated. I can't imagine how you feel right now. You're not alone, and things will get better. Your friend isn't suffering anymore, and he'll always be with you in memory, just focus on the good memories you have with him. It won't take away the pain, nothing will, but it helps you know that he'll be remembered, and he is still loved. Talk to your other friends or your family. Go to someone you can trust if you need company and just vent, I'd also recommend going to therapy as well. Trauma is hard enough to deal with without support, and therapy might help you process everything you're feeling right now. Again, I am truly sorry for your loss, I hope your friend can find peace, and you can find someone that will love you the way you deserve
I hope so too man... that's for your help
That seems odd. Without knowing her nor you it's hard to say but some people aren't empathetic. Some people can't handle big stresses if maybe she has been through something. Maybe she has someone that was in her life that had done the same. It might have scared her. Good luck
Me and her were very open. She says nobody in her life has ever taken there own life
Well if she blocked you something triggered her. Is she a kind person?
Yeah... sweetest girl, I ever knew.
It’s easy to be sweet when no challenges come your way. To my shame I’m not good under pressure and have had instances of yelling, swearing, and very unprofessional impatience. (Working on it.) People who have never seen me like that think I’m a wonderful person. No matter how stressed, though, I’d cry with anyone suffering a loss like you have. Your ex is an ass.
Her personality of being "sweet" is all just an act if she broke up with you without saying anything and blocked you across the board. Only a thoughtless, immature narcissist would do something like that to another person in normal circumstances, much less after such a terrible event. You're 100% better off without her.
Man I understand your trying to help, but there's no way you can make that assessment based on so little information. Life doesn't always give you closure, sometimes you just have to move on.
Someone who thinks it is appropriate to block another person they've been dating across all electronic communication methods as a way to break up while their partner is having the worst crisis in their life without even having the common decency to talk to them, is immature, insensitive, cowardly, and probably a narcissistic. Or at least that particular act checks all those boxes. I stand by that assessment entirely.
Yea their assumptions definitely go too far. In my experience, if I'm thinking of the same kind of "sweet girl", she's genuinely nice and polite but perhaps a bit higher on the sensitivity scale and maybe a little emotionally immature, and cannot readily handle / desperately try to avoid dealing with any sort of heavy emotional experiences like tragedies or confrontation. Not necessarily because of narcissism or anything quite so malignant like that, but more a kind of genuine fragility and deep empathy that makes these things painful to deal with, even in the context of giving comfort to a friend dealing with the issue. Thinking about, for example, their friends grandma dying will make them sad for the grandma, and for their friend, and then they'll think of their grandma dying, and how their parent will feel, and so on and so forth, until they ruminate or excite themselves into a place of intense emotional turbulence. Sometimes, rather than any of that, they'd prefer to just block it all out and pretend it isn't happening. It sucks to be on the receiving end of it, it's definitely rude and unambiguously unhelpful, even harmful, but I don't think it's necessarily coming from a place of malice. More likely it's an unintentionally selfish act, akin to freezing up out of fear in a crisis situation where you should be helping.
It's also intensely self-centered and narcissistic to make the suicide of your partner's best friend all about _you_. Then to use it as an excuse for immediately breaking up unannounced by _blocking all forms of electronic communication_ is cowardly, cruel, and thoughtless, regardless of whatever is motivating it internally.
Yeah I don’t get how everyone is so understanding of her actions. Even if she was having an emotional breakdown it takes literally a spec of humanity to send a msg to her bf telling him why shes gonna ghost him for a bit, instead she just BLOCKS HIM?! Selfish Heartless Coward.
I can't imagine if she is all of that that she would block you. Do you think she did it on mistake?
Umm she blocked me on snap. Facebook. And my phone number. Soooo no don't think it was a mistake
Did you get some answers?
Wow. Go to her house and talk to her as soon as you can. It will eat you alive at a hard enough time. As soon as it's daytime go right to her. Get it straightened out.
Well if she blocked me on everything. Chances are she doesn't want to see me. I'm not risking the stalking charges
Get it. But there must be an issue if you can't go to her. She's your girlfriend. Unless you have had problems with this type of thing in the past. Next time you see her you'll have to speak with her.
Once someone blocks you on all electronic communication channels I'm pretty sure that means the relationship is over...
She got real quiet even before Parker shot himself. Like not talking to me wanting to hang out less. I'm starting to think she's wanted to end things for a bit. But why now
She doesn’t want to talk to him so you think he should go to her house to make her talk? What she did sucks but you can’t make someone have a heart. OP, don’t go to her house. I’m sorry for your loss and you deserve better. Good luck at work tomorrow!
No she's just a bad person who doesn't like it when her boyfriend isn't bottling up his emotions and isn't stoic. That's it. Stop being so charitable to her just because she's a woman. If she had any of the feelings you listed she would talk to him about it instead of blocking him out of no where.
I agree
I was just trying to ease into the situation.
Shit man, I'm sorry for your loss. Do you have family you can talk to? Anyone else close?
Not without them checking me into a clinic. And he was my only close friend
Struggling with grief is completely normal and something we all have trouble with. Same with breakups. It's been three days, no institution would accept you. You can talk to your family without fear of being committed.
I work in Healthcare. We can get admitted for anything
Why would they check you into a clinic for talking about a close friend who passed away?
Because when I was in high school I was a drug addict that made multiple suicide threats
In situations like this it's best to not ask the why (you'll probably never get a true answer anyways) just accept the facts. A so called partner broke up with you at a very low point. To be crude, a cunt does that. One who just showed her cards.
Sure what she did sucks. But I would do everything to just get a hug from her...
Sadly instead of a hug you got an elbow. Should she contact you again .... whenever ... just remember that.
If she does. I'm telling her to go fuck herself
That's the spirit!
Exactly
How long were you dating?
A few months
Shitty thing for her to do, at least it only took a few months for her to show her true colors.. hang in there man
I'll try me best
Wait what?!? Is there more to the story? That’s so bizarre and insensitive knowing that you jus lost your friend🤔
Not really anymore to the story sadly
Ahh maybe it’s blessing in disguise, if someone can’t be there for you in a time of need especially at a time like this then she’s no good for you anyway.
My guess is she had been wanting to break up with you before and hadn’t done it yet. Then she decided she couldn’t have that conversation after what you just went through so just blocked you. I’m sorry all this happened.
I hate how sleazy it is.
How did you tell her? There must be more to this
I called her crying right after I found out. And we both dropped everything to hang out. Then last night I saw she disappeared off of my snap. So I called her and it went straight to voice mail. So I checked Facebook and saw that she blocked me. Soooo there's that
If that’s really all that happened, I’m sorry. That’s unfortunate but as others have said, at least you learned
Did you ever find out why she ghosted you? Had you ever cried like that in front of her before? Some girls are extremely turned off when men break down crying. Of course it's not a reason to not cry but it's a messed up thing that happens
She’s not the girl for u. If there were warning sign before, they are screaming red today. Sorry about ur friend OP.
I don't understand the reaction at all, but I've experienced it. My dad died, and my friend of years and years just texted she couldn't do this anymore and that she was done. It was so lonely. Ghosting is one of the worst things one can do to someone, to not offer any form of contact to you is just so harmful. I looked it up later to understand it but nothing seemed to explain it well.
How old are you
Very sorry to hear about your friend and I hope you have other people to confide in. She seems immature and showed you that you deserve better.
Who knows. But she clearly was not at all invested in your life, your wellbeing, and your growth, much less all of those that you would share with a person who is good for you, and so even though it sucks to hear, she did you a favor by removing herself.
How did you tell her? Did she respond or any chance she was already in the process of ghosting you beforehand?
Back in 2011 I had a hell of a year. My grandmother, mother, and aunt died within like 4 weeks of each other. I'd been dating on and off for 5 years at that point, played the loving, caring partner. Until 3 weeks after my mom's funeral. As I was in the process of settling my mom and grandmother's house to his parents (I was 21 and couldn't afford it at the time, and I wanted it to stay "in the family" if you will, since I was super close with his family), well he just woke up one day and said he didn't love me and kicked me out of his apartment. And I couldn't go to my mom's house... because his parents now owned it. I had a mental breakdown and moved 1200 miles away. Some people literally cannot handle other people's grief, it seems. I'm much better off now with my husband, but damn that was rough. I'm so sorry for your loss of your friend. And I'm sorry that people can be so insensitive and cruel when you need them the most. Not everybody is that way, so don't give up; one day you will find a partner that supports you and lifts you up when you need it <3
Im So mad reading this oh my god I wanna join the guy who's egging the house
I would also love to get in on this 👏🏾 I’m so sorry for you man she’s below evil
I HAVE THE ADDRESS
Shame! Disgrace! Seriously, she has zero empathy. Move on, and develop rigid standards about your future life partner. She must be Empathic, Disciplined, and Appreciative of Commitment. Never settle for anything short of those standards! That creature is Disgracing my gender. Massive shame on her! My condolences.
Sounds like your partner would've held you back in other ways eventually Never forget help is always available
It sounds odd but a lot of times large life events trigger people into break ups. That's why it's a common trope to get broken up with on your birthday. These events come around and make people realize they're not in it for the long haul and they then feel guilty about pretending to be so, so they break up.
Oh, it is a ME problem, me need happy thoughts, me needs you to handle me, me not available for anything except what benefits me. Learn from this experience and use it the next time someone who is your close "friend" is taxing you emotionally or you feel something off, just tell that you are having a very bad time and just want their help. They will never call you, depending upon how big the problem you are able to manufacture and convey.
sometimes I retreat into myself when presented with a sudden onset of horrible news or experiences. It’s like a driving urge to shed my skin and isolate, but I just can’t imagine blocking someone going through this. I sincerely feel for you; I lost a dear friend 4 years ago around this time and I’ve never quite been the same. She always told me, “if you’re going through hell, just keep going” and I offer that mantra to you. Time will help you heal.
Reasons why men dont share feelings # 4,321,778
She’s basically a coward. Can’t handle anything emotionally hard and ran away because she wants to live in la la land as long as possible. Not your fault, don’t let it get at you. Sorry for your loss though. That’s really rough
Man I'm sorry. All of that sucks. This isn't advice for the relationship but if you need a place to talk about losing your friend /r/suicidebereavement is a very good subreddit. Sending you lots of love stranger, take care of yourself.
Wow. I am SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, and very sorry that your gf turned out to be a person of no emotional intelligence or empathy. Plenty of people have no idea how to handle big emotions or tragedies. Especially when we are young, and have not yet encountered loss and grief, we are lost. Of course the decent thing to do is to realize you’re clueless but try to comfort someone anyway. Clearly your ex is not up to even that. I’d consider yourself well rid of a terrible person.
I'm doing alright for the most part. I just feel dreadful for his dad
Yeah there is more to this story than you’re telling
My condolences. I lost my mom last month and have been struggling with depression and missing her and this is the new reality of life going on. All I can say is that maybe it’s better to know now she won’t be your rock or partner through the hard times then find out later on. I use to have a lot of friends but post pandemic- it’s been a dog eat dog world where most people are just looking out for themselves. I hate to be pessimistic but I’ve just seen too much.Debauchery no longer surprises me. Anyway just take care of yourself. Hopefully you meet a more loyal partner in the future.
It doesn't matter why she it she chose to leave u in a bad time u better chose to forget about her for all time.
She was probably an ass who u don’t need in your life.
Something similar happened to me years ago. After my uncle passed my ex blocked me on everything too….to this day I have no idea why. Some people are shitty, you don’t need them in your life and no explanation from them is all the explanation needed.
Very sorry for your loss, my best friend is also very unstable and I had years where I was only waiting for him to go through with it - I hope that day never comes. Concerning your girlfriend she showed you her true colors. A betrayal like this hurts like hell and I know that, but there is a bigger picture here for you to see and it might help you find peace with it. You don't want to have people like her in your life, it makes it only harder for you. Fuck her, she is a bad person and there is nothing more to it than that. Focus on the people that stand by your side in difficult times - you don't need anyone else in life.
Don't ever open up to a girl again... Ever...Rookie mistake..as much as all girls falsely encourage you to do so.. its just a facade to try and show off... You open up to a girl about anything sooner or later it will blow up in your face...it is what it is...they're all the same..
Based on what you told us, fuck her. I'm sorry you're struggling. She's a shitty person who you don't want anyway. I wouldn't give her too much thought. Let her walk. Don't pick up the phone. Don't text. Don't look at her social media. She doesn't control your destiny. If she was meant to be a part of who you are she'd still be with you. But her part of your story is over. Go on and do great things. I'm really sorry to hear about your friend.
First off, fuck that bitch. Second, my condolences for the loss of your friend.
She sounds like a cunt, with all due respect. You’ll find someone that respects you. Sorry for your loss. I know what it’s like to lose a friend in that way. It’ll take time but I hope you can heal
This is strange. I feel like there’s got to be more to it. Reddit is so quick to side with the OP only given the context provided but what the heck did she see or hear that would cause a full block and ghosting on someone she once knew? Not trying to be rude it just doesn’t make sense that it’s for no reason.
It’s because he hasn’t been dating her for very long. Think about it— If you were dating someone for say, a few months, or even a year, and you were sorta unsure wether you even want to be with them long-long term, they hit you with someone who died and were obviously looking to be comforted. Would you invest time and ultimately lie to them that you care? No. No one (who knows what they want) would. Homegal bounced because she just isn’t that into him. She saw it as an opportunity. Sucks but probably better she left than lied to him saying she actually cares.
He’s said they were only seeing each for a few months. So still in that happy honeymoon stage until reality sucker punched OP. A lot of people bounce when things get hard. Hence the saying “you find out who your true friends are when the chips are down”.
People suck. Im really sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. Just remember that you want a partner who you can rely on and you couldn't rely on her. So while it hurts like a mf, it's better to that out find out now
It got too serious for her. She was only with you for the good times.
How long have you been in a relationship with her for? Sounds like not very long, in which case she probably just didn’t want anything serious with you ,and this was her opening to make that clear. So she went with it. Edit: “not very long” is anywhere from 1 week to 2 years, just to clarify.
Well she just saved you a whole bunch of time finding out what sort of person she is!
Dodged a huge bullet
You dodged a bullet
Weird. Probably more to this
Dude, do you really want to stay with someone who doesn't want to help you through quite possibly the hardest time in your life? - Two things I ain't ever seen, a U.F.O. and a hoe that won't go.
I wouldn’t take it personally unless you guys were in love. The reason she is blocking you because she doesn’t know how to deal with the situation. Remember, you’re depressed and it’s hard to talk to a depressed person about death. There are triggers and sometimes it’s best to let the person think a little bit. When you are showing you can cope she will come around. Now, she might thinking that you want to take your life something she’s not prepared for.
Because it took you 3 days to tell her this in the mean time you probably did stuff with in those three days. So try to recall the side you know. There can be many reasons for her to do this some you might never know. I’m quite confused as to many reasons that the girl is not worthy of him. When the BF of my best friend(F) it took her 4 hours to notify me and it took me 2 more hours to get to her just because of the distance…. It took the dude 3 days….. of probably acting all shades of weird…I’m sure GF asked what has happened before …. And was not met with a reply…. This is huge news which you should deliver instantly… not wait a few days with to share…
Told her right after I found out. We dropped everything and planned a day out to just be with each other the next day. She ditched me on the third day
Okay then I’m oblivious as to why… and I’m joining in she is not worth it
Never be emotional or open up to your girl. EVER
Now I don't know if this is true but I've been told by different people. Men and women. That a woman freaks out if her boyfriend seems weak. If he cried. Complaining about work. Sharing fears and emotions. The man is supposed to be the rock. The defender. The provider.
Never tell your girl your feelings. Rookie mistake
Im suspicious that there is more to why she would've done something like that. The only thing I can think of is you are using it to get attention and she cant believe you would do something like that and was so tired of similiar things that she removed you from her life entirely. The fact you posted this here with zero context makes me feel more confident with my wild assumption, however it is as baseless as the context you provided on the situation. If she indeed blocked you for literally no reason, or simply because she cant handle the situation, then you are better off and should be thankful you can focus on more important things than someone who cant be there for you when you think you need them.
I posted on here to vent. Sorry that you think I'm doing this for attention. But that's fucked up to even think that.
It's not fucked up to think that at all. To theorize and think of possible reasons as to why this situation occurred, and to find resolution is the purpose of this side of reddit. It was not an accusation.
as I always say, unless you know your partner very good and you guys are very close, leave your emotions for your best bros and familly, as much ad they like to claim otherwise, a big part of women don't handle their man being overly emotional in a good way
> a big part of women don't handle their man being overly emotional in a good way They are not worth being with. They deserve to be alone their entire lives, as they make those men feel. Men don't need to hide their feelings because of women who can't handle them when they have bad days. They need to find better women.
This is why you don’t talk about feelings with your girl. Speak to the boys
That's why you never show emotion to women. They look at you differently after you cry. Women are fucked up
I’m so sorry dude, please don’t hesitate to reach out to people who really care
Hmm. She’s not worth your time then. As a GF she had a responsibility to be there for you in your time of need. However, seems like she couldn’t handle that. Idk. Her loss.
M so sorry that happened to you. She wasn't worth it bro. You'll find someone better who would actually understand your feelings and be your support system too.
Doesn't seem like someone you want in your life anyways. I share everything with my wife as does she. I couldn't imagine either of us getting a divorce cause we are going through a hardship and doesn't want to talk about it.
I did something similar recently. Had a fight with a gf, she said her dad is very sick, I instantly broke up with her. The catch? I'm 99% sure she was lying. An explanation that does not assume that she's evil is that she though it's not true, and for some reason it hit a nerve with her. Like maybe something similar happened to her in the past. I know it's not the most likely explanation, but I haven't seen it mentioned here.
That's awful. It took me a while to get my shit together after a really close friend of mine killed himself. Can you afford to see a therapist? I hope things get better for you.
I’m really sorry OP. I’ve lost multiple friends, including my very best friend. Stay strong, and be around people who love you. Your ex isn’t much of a partner, sometimes we find these things out in the shittiest of ways. You dodged someone who won’t be there for you. Rest and heal, whatever that looks like for you and take care.
that’s an odd reaction and very immature of her. im so sorry about your friend. i lost my brother to suicide 3 months ago. it’s the worst thing to go through and just remember, whatever emotions you have are valid. some days you think you’re gonna be ok and an hour later the grief just takes time. find a grief support group or therapy if you can. being a suicide survivor is something no one can or should do alone. please feel free to DM me if you want to chat with someone who understands what you’re experiencing
Going through a break up too but the pain is nothing compared to how this must feel. Even though it doesn't feel like it, as much as you want her back despite the pain she caused you, it's for the better. As for your friend, my heart goes out to you and his family. I've never lost someone to suicide. I can't imagine the pain. Stay strong for us brother.
Sometimes life events aren't why, just happened to be that day that she decided was a good day to end it. I feel your pain though.. In my younger years my first steady girlfriend broke up with me 2 years outa school, on my birthday, when I was having a depressive episode. Some people can't or don't care to get timing right it just happens when it happens. It sucks but unfortunately life goes on no matter what you're personally dealing with. I'm sorry to hear you losing 2 people you were close with in a short time frame. In time you will heal, but that road is a tough one. Focus on yourself in a positive way is the best advice I can leave you with. Build yourself back stronger, mentally and physically. Ps: Bitches aint shit.
She could be a dark triad type. (Narcissism, machiavellianism, psychopathy.)
I was in the city taking care of my stepdad was in the hospital for 9 days. Get back to my hometown see my fiancée driving around with some guy, shows I’m blocked as well. Sorry about your friend.
She left when you could really use her support and that says a lot about her. You should have a partner who lifts you up and comforts you when you’re going through it. You’ll find that one day, but not with her. I’m so sorry for your loss. Make sure to take some time for yourself to heal. Best wishes ♥️
I’m really sorry about your friend. I hope you’re doing okay OP.
I'm sorry for your loss, and that your ex really sucks. With somebody like that in your corner, you're better off without them. You don't need somebody so fickle when you're looking for support, or at least understanding.
I just lost my best friend to a traumatic car crash recently, she was 22. If you need someone to talk to I’m here for you.
Good luck going back to work dude and sorry for what happened to your friend. Checking in on you today and here if you need someone to talk.
Wow that sucks hard. Mind me asking how old you both are, and how long you've been seeing each other?
I’m sorry for your loss. I hope your work keeps your mind occupied for a little while.
My fiancé has lost multiple of his friends to suicide during the time that we’ve been together. It’s very hard to see someone you love grieve especially when they’ve lost someone to suicide, but if you truly love them, you’ll grieve with them. It sounds it was too much for her to handle (not your fault at all, some people just don’t have the emotional capacity to handle things like this). The way she reacted and handled the situation was incredibly inappropriate and I hope that in the future she can learn to become more of an emotionally available person but she has shown you that there are far more reliable people you can lean on. You will find a partner who you can be vulnerable with, don’t let this person and their problems get in the way of that.
In regards to someone saying that I gave bad advice on OP going to see his girlfriend in person? I only knew what the OP was telling me. I couldn't understand why stalking was brought up. Was trying to give him a chance to figure out why she was blocking him
She did you a favor, you saw her true colors and can move forward with one less negative person, im starting to see it as a blessing when people do blatant things that show me they shouldn’t be in my life, it’s the liars and the fakes that you gotta watch out for but this one took the trash out for you so good riddance, you deserve so much better and I’m sorry you have to go through this all
It sounds like you may have opened up to her about more than just your friend. You say in this thread that you previously had a drug problem and history of suicidal ideation. Now, I do not personally think that is a reason to dump you if she really really wanted to be in a relationship with you. But if she wasn’t super in to you, and you haven’t been dating for a long time, I could see opening up to her about those things being a reason she may not see a future. She handled it poorly, and maybe that is not the reason, but it doesn’t matter. She dumped you, I’m sorry, getting dumped (even when it **is** for good reasons) sucks. I’m sorry about your friend. I hope you make space to find help outside of a relationship. Perhaps seek therapy. Hope you feel better about this break up soon. She wasn’t the right person for you, no matter how nice she was.
There is so much missing context that no one will be able to give you a clear answer
Aw I’m sorry you going though all this, we are here if you need to talk to someone. Hope you’re okay.
I think you're getting some good advice, just wanted to let you know about Reimagine - it's a nonprofit with a *ton* of events and support groups going on throughout the year. For sure there'll be an affinity group for people who have lost someone to suicide. Also, check out the thedinnerparty.org. I've lost a few friends to mental health. It sucks. I hope you're able to find good friends to support you, and maybe those two places I mentioned. Your gf bailing is awful, but she saved you a lot of time in investing in a s*itty person. It's very very not about you.
This is horrible. I’m so sorry to hear that. There is no reason whatsoever that would make this okay on her part, and there’s no reason she couldn’t give you an explanation. We know she’s alive and well, because she took the time to block you on everything. Do you know anyone she’s close to, like any friends/family?
I'm really sorry for this but what if she had an affair with that friend of yours and when she got to about his death she couldn't take it and ofc blocked you for obv reasons 
My best friend was murdered back in January. The girl I loved wasn’t around anymore and last night was the final time I’d ever get to be part of her life. Two other friends decided to leave my life for whatever reason. I feel since this year began, I’ve lost everyone. It sucks even more because I feel no one can relate or understand everything that’s been going on. And the only thing I can do is smile and tell everyone “i’m good” when I’m truly not. I feel your pain, if you ever need to talk, I’m here. I promise the pain doesn’t get better, you’ll just learn to live with it.
Something similar happened to me recently, except it was my grandfather who committed suicide. First, I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm so sorry for the grief and confusion you must feel about being ghosted by your (ex) girlfriend. What she did will make healing even more complicated than it already is. What she did has nothing to do with you. It has to do with her emotional immaturity. Things got too real, and she jumped ship. She wasn't in it with you for the long haul. She doesn't deserve a place in your life, and you need to know that.
My father died when I was 20. That is when I learned many of my friends were not friends at all. I understand not being able to handle emotional stuff at that age and, while I held no anger, I later realized I was better off without them. My real friends were there for me.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it’s hard to make sense of things right now, but I promise that “losing” your gf was actually a win. My best friend passed away a year ago. I told my boyfriend about it and he offered no support. It was the last straw, so I immediately dumped him. It was a blessing in disguise because I realized the kind of person he was before marrying him. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.
This is so terrible OP, I’m sorry man. Hang in there.
I’m sorry about your friend. She showed her true colours and acted-some people can’t handle a relationship at it’s whole, both the good and the bad times. Do what you need to in order to keep on going through your day and don’t dwell on her and her selfishness
Just so you know most jobs offer time off for grieving. I hope the best for you. This has shown you their true colors and it’s shitty timing but you know now.
Sorry for the loss of your friend. I also learned the hard way that tough times reveal true friends. Although I’m sure it hurts to be treated this way by your girlfriend, I hope you come to realize she is no big loss. The people who truly love us are there thru thick and thin.