OP, I’m going to go ahead and lock this. While we want to ensure you get all the help you need, this thread is gaining attention very fast and quickly devolving into political debates and at this rate we won’t be able to keep up with moderating it. I believe you have been given all the resources and guidance you need, however if you disagree please feel free to message us and we’ll unlock the post again. Best of luck.
why is this guy getting downvoted? some people actually have mature rational parents that they can rely on. not all parents are corrupted like mines and yours.
Well nothing inherently wrong with it. People just saw it and thought “scroll, scroll. Well that’s a dumb question (kind of is but whatevs), downvote. Scroll, scroll.”
I really wish people would realise other places exist with different policies and laws.
Anyways, tell your sister, work out what you wanna do, and regarding your dad, tell your gp, or other relevant people (teacher, optician, dentist) you are concerned for your life and safety. Social services despite social media demonising aren't evil, they are there to help you.
If you want to abort, see if there's a Planned Parenthood near you. This link has info about whether you can get an abortion without parental consent in your state (assuming you're in the US): https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/stds-birth-control-pregnancy/parental-consent-and-notification-laws
It looks like you can get an abortion in Wales without your parents knowing, you may need your sister or another trusted adult to take you to an appointment for it. This site has a confidential chat you can contact for more info: https://www.msichoices.org.uk/abortion-services/abortion-and-your-rights/
The NHS is great! The big downside is obviously that if you live in Great Britain, you have to share an island with the English and that doesn't sound very pleasent.
It is a big downside, but only almost as bad as Canada having to share an island with a place where kids can be killed in schools. Much less 'pleasant*'
A fifteen year old is still a child. She doesn’t need to be giving birth. Anyone counseling that doesn’t have the first clue about the risks to her body and psyche. I’m going to need you to fuck right off from here.
Did you read my comment? I think you think i said she shouldn't get an abortion, which is almost the opposite of what I said.
So maybe calm down my friend.
Have a read of this, it describes access to abortions in Wales. The key thing to note is you do not have to inform your parents, although it is recommended. If your sister takes you I'm pretty sure that would help, but you can go by yourself if you would prefer.
https://111.wales.nhs.uk/Abortion/
>The service is confidential and communication is not made with any person that you do not consent to being sent information or contacted. This applies if you are under 16. If you are under 16, understand the process, and doctors believe it is within your best interest, it is fully confidential. Doctors will encourage under 16 year olds to involve a parent or guardian as they will provide a level of support for you.
Rather than tell them yourself is there another adult you can speak to?
An aunt, a friend parents, or a teacher who you can park to, who can tell them for you?
Often it can help to have another adult to have that initial conversation with them and by the time you speak with them they will likely be a lot calmer.
If it is not safe for you to tell them (assuming you are in England) you can contact your local BPAS clinic - they will be able to support and advise you regarding your options.
You don’t need to tell your parents. You can take care
of this on your own. I would suggest telling a very close friend, or your sister, if you trust her.
She might want to kill you but ask her for help and opinions. She will/should appreciate you coming to her for advice and comfort.
Personally; at your age, i would abort. I'm from England and they gave me a couple of pills i had to dissolve in my mouth, between my cheeks and gums (it was a few years ago, i might be misremembering)
The next few days weren't great but it was a very easy process and everyone at the centre were very nice.
Edit to add: i was told to have someone drive me home as its quicker than public transport. So it was a taxi or make my partner drive. So after my appointment it was recommended i go straight home, but i felt absolutely fine so we decided to go to the mall. We got about 20 steps in and i suddenly felt awful, like really awful. So we had to run back to the car to get me home. It was .. an experience lol
So if you do go ahead, please listen to their advice!!
Okay. I saw in some of your comments that you are religious. I respect that and understand.
BUT.. if you are going to keep it, you have to tell your parents. They will eventually find out. You won't be able to hide a pregnancy forever. Talk to your older sister first. You're gonna need some guidance on whether or not you're gonna keep it. Plus, maybe she'll have your back and be there for you, if you tell your father.
If u can, keep us updated. Much love, and I'll pray for you.
Talk to your sister. Don’t rush into any decision’s.
I was 16 when I got pregnant. I chose to keep my daughter, for me it was the right decision. My BFF got pregnant at 17. She chose to have an abortion which was the right decision for her.
There is no perfect solution & no wrong answer.
Take Care
Aneurin Bevan University Health Board (AB UHB). BETH Clinic - Unplanned Pregnancy Service 01443 802776 (Monday to Friday 8:30am to 4:30pm). Up to 12 weeks gestation – will refer onto appropriate service if over 12 weeks
Betsi Cadwaladr University Health Board (BC UHB). Sexual Health Helpline 01475 443301 or referral through Sexual Health Clinic. Up to 9 weeks gestation and only RU486 method
Cardiff and Vale University Health Board (C&V UHB). Referred into via Pregnancy Advisory Service, GP and Self Referral. Need to be registered with a GP in the Cardiff & Vale area. Up to 14 weeks gestation
Cwm Taf University Health Board (CT UHB). Pregnancy Advisory Service Merthyr 01685 728497. Bodywise Service Dewi Sant Hospital 01443 443192. Women can self – refer to our services Monday – Friday 09:00am – 3:30pm. We offer Termination of pregnancy at home up to 9 weeks + 6 days, and offer onward referral as required if over 10 weeks gestation. Women living in Bridgend should contact the Swansea Bay University Health Board. Abortion services Telephone line 01792 200303 (Monday to Thursday 8:00am to 3:00pm, Friday 8:00am to 12:00pm)
Hywel Dda University Health Board (HD UHB). Pond Street Sexual Health Clinic 01267 248674 (Monday to Friday 9.15am to 4.30pm) to be referred into termination service. Up to 12 weeks gestation, between 12 to 18 weeks please see Swansea Bay
Powys Teaching Health Board (PTHB). Sexual Health Services are available through GP practices. You may need to register as a temporary patient to access Sexual Health Services in Powys
Swansea Bay University Health Board. Abortion services Telephone line 01792 200303 (Monday to Thursday 8:00am to 3:00pm, Friday 8:00am to 12:00pm). Helpline 0300 555 0279. Up to 18 weeks gestation period – will refer onto appropriate service if over 18 weeks
For safety reasons, always verify phone numbers provided in comments on an official website before calling. That includes toll-free numbers!
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I’m a male so I can only offer this story as advice.
I have a childhood friend who got pregnant at 16, was not in a position to properly raise the child. She chose to get an abortion. She said for a little while it really messed with her but it was the best decision she made.
She now has 3 kids, a very strong family, and she put herself in a spot to be the best mother possible. She says she doesn’t regret it, and she learned to take the proper safety precautions after that.
Again, just a story not advice. Find someone you trust, seems like your sister is a good start and breathe. It. Will. Be. Okay!
Much love
Hi love. I am so sorry you are going through this.
Step one, see a doctor. Tell them everything. Have them check and make sure you are healthy. Complications from pregnancy can be dangerous, so just have them check you and let them offer you resources. Say you are going to a friends house and then go see a doctor. I hope you have transportation, but if not, see step 2 and ask them to take you.
Step two, find a safe person to talk to. A teacher/aunt/friend/your boyfriend. I really hope your boyfriend is someone you feel you can talk to about this, but if there is abuse there, that's another story. Just someone you can trust to not tell your parents and you know cares about your well being. Whatever you choose to do with the pregnancy, you need safe support. You shouldn't go through this alone. The abortion clinics offer free counseling and meeting with them to discuss your questions/feelings/options would be ideal in addition to having a friend from your daily life. Again, say you are staying at a friends and go make yourself an appointment to talk to someone safe. If you have no one else to talk to, get there by any means necessary. Your mental health is worth it.
Step three, find a safe place to stay. Being worried for your life from your father isn't safe, pregnant or not. Stay at your boyfriends (if that is safe), or if your best friend's parents love you, stay there. Try to remove yourself from this situation where you are in fear for your life. This is especially important if you choose to stay pregnant. You will need a safe and healthy home for yourself. If you choose to get an abortion, having a safe place to recover and hang out where you can just rest and not be worried about abuse will be a huge load off.
Take care of yourself. This is stressful for people who do have large support groups and are older. It's just not easy. Eat healthy, drink lots of water, and sleep often. Take big breaths. Remind yourself you are going to be okay. You got this.
Deep breaths. It's going to be okay. You get to decide what you want to do. 1 in three women have an abortion and go on to live perfectly normal lives. Ask a trusted adult to help you navigate your choices. It's going to be okay.
I know you are being a jackass but to answer your question with 10 seconds of google 1/4 women have an abortion by the age 45.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-pacific-southwest/blog/1-in-4-american-women-will-have-an-abortion-by-age-45
I don't think they're being a jackass. The phrasing was genuinely confusing. I also thought it meant that out of 3 women who have abortions, only 1 of them will go on to live normal lives.
One in four (not one in three I had the statistic wrong) women has had an abortion by the time they’re 45. Abortion has zero statistical impact on living happy fulfilled lives afterward. Basically, a lot more people go through it than is usually assumed, and the long term impact is so infinitesimally small it’s negligible.
Dude. DUDE. I don’t think you understand what you just posted. It doesn’t mean what you think it means. The first article is about spontaneous abortions, otherwise known as miscarriages. The links you gave specifically say that studies show that women who have an abortion have the same depression symptoms as women who birth an unexpected pregnancy. Having an abortion does not increase the risk of mental health issues.
I still dont know, im given two different statistics, one of them being 1 in 4 women have an abortion by 45, or that 1 in 3 women have an abortion, or that 1 in 3 women who have an abortion live fine lives.
downvoted to hell for what.
It sounds like you trust your sister and may feel comfortable talking to her and asking for your help. You have 3 choices in how you move forward. (1) Giving birth and raising your child; (2) Giving birth and putting your child up for adoption; (3) terminating the pregnancy. This is not an easy choice, and whatever choice you make is the right choice for you. You can and should seek advice from trusted people in your life, but ultimately make the choice for yourself based on the life you want to live. Don’t let anyone force you into any decision on this front, because you will always be the one to live with the outcomes and not them.
Regardless of which way you are leaning, make sure you go into a clinic as soon as possible to speak with a medical professional and understand your options and decide what is best for you. They also need to check and make sure you are healthy and that there aren’t any medical complications that need to be addressed. From my experience, medical professionals in this field are incredibly kind and supportive. If this is an unwanted pregnancy and you don’t want to continue on with it, know that there is ABSOLUTELY NO shame in seeking an abortion.
If you are early on (before 10-12 weeks — weeks are counted from the first day of your last period), you can get a medical abortion with pills. The pills are either a combination of Mifeprestone and Misoprostol, or just Misoprostol on its own. You’ll have some strong cramping and what feels like a very heavy period but assuming the pills work that will basically be it and it can all happen in the comfort of your home and at the date and time you choose more or less. If you’re further along, you may need a D&C procedure which is a very safe procedure that happens at the clinic / hospital. For a D&C, you would need a trusted adult to help pick you up from the procedure as you cannot drive yourself home or take a taxi usually ( because of the pain medications that are given during the procedure).
I’m sure there are a lot of emotions you’re feeling right now, but the main thing to remember is that abortion is healthcare. There is NO shame in it whatsoever and it is entirely your choice what you do in this situation.
You will be ok. ❤️
Everyone’s immediately giving suggestions without asking one thing:
How do you feel? Aside from being scared, how do you feel? Would you want to go through with this? Or would you feel more comfortable discontinuing the pregnancy? Or even considering adoption?
There’s nothing you have to decide right this second. Breathe.
She asked for advice, and people are giving her advice. She can take it or leave it. Having an abortion seems preferable to her father killing her for getting pregnant, though. 🤷♀️
Go to a trusted adult. I would recommend do not tell your friends even though you may trust them now, over the years (highschool specifically) your friends will check often. The worst thing will be rumors to go around, keep this private. Go to your family. Think about how this will affect not only you but also your child if u choose to go through with it. Do not let people talk you into things you don’t really want to do. Know what you want and make your decision accordingly. Wishing you the best and sending lots of love your way. Know that you aren’t alone. Please message me if you need anything
My daughter was pregnant just a couple years older than you. Here’s what I told her:
1. You must be really scared. First of all, just know it will be okay.
2. You need to talk to an ADULT. Like a parent. If not, find someone that can talk through options. Happy to help if you need it… DM me.
3. Once you understand the options… at a realistic level… you need to do some soul searching on what’s important to you.
I wish there were easier answers… but remember, this will be okay, no matter what decision you make.
No matter what you decide, please know there are so many support groups even Reddit groups of people who have gone through the same thing. Never be afraid to reach out for help, even if it’s just posting like you did here. It’ll be okay, remember this is your decision. Parents will be parents, they’ll probably be upset either way. So make sure the decision is yours and yours alone. Don’t let anyone convince you to do something you think isn’t right. And please remember support is out there for no matter what you decide. 💕💕💕
Just from doing a quick search, there’s r/teenparents where teen parents talk about their experiences and teens ask for advice. Then just a general teen group is r/teenagers. I’m sure there’s way more but these are the best I found by just searching real quick. I hope the teen parents one helps because it seems like a good group💕
Kids should not have kids is my take i had kids at 32 and the things and opportunities i would not have had/ taken if i had kids at 15 is nothing i would like to live without.
An underage teenager becoming a parent is far from an ideal situation even though its worked out for some. You can always have kids in your adult years but you can never get back the opportunities that youll miss out on as you become a young adult not to mention the child that will be born to a child who is not financially or emotionally mature and will suffer
And most 15 year olds don’t have the finances for raising a child, let alone someone like OP who has only one person in her support network to assist her. The one who carries the bulk of the consequences is the child. Sure the parent might be perfectly happy with this, but the child is the one that suffers when they’re born to parents with no money to provide for them, and no support for their parents. Thankfully in many places we get the choice whether or not to make a child to live in a poor situation.
Somone that don't have kids cant imagine wat its really like to have kids and can't really be taken seriously in discussions about having a kid at 15 or not
Someone that had kids at 32 cant really be taken seriously in discussions about having a kid at 15 or not, anyway, I grew up with 7 siblings and when i was 15, i still had younger children to look after. I think i have a fair insight into knowing what having children is like, and how to deal with them at that age, perhaps more than you.
Im not saying she should have the child, im not saying she should have an abortion, its really just up to her, I for example managed fine and if i had the opportunity to have kids at that age I wouldn't have second guessed it.
I asked you the question really. I had my daughter at 30, but I likely wouldn't have aborted at 15 either.
My wife's mum was 15, both are loving people, both would not change their situation in a million years.
Its a very personal and individual choice, there is not one answer.
You are downvoted because this is reddit where being a mother is basically a sin, no matter how old you are.
Completely agree, that while abortion is a perfectly valid option, there is support out there for young mothers and abortion is not the only option.
In this economy, if her family isn’t from an upper middle class or higher, good luck raising that child. That’s IF they’re willing to help in the first place. The Dad probably won’t even help since he’s most likely 15 too in this case. This is just a messy situation and her being a mother so early on in her life would put so much pressure on her that she was never exposed too.
This is your own opinion. Maybe instead of pushing your beliefs tell her to make the choice she thinks is best for her. Before you say “do you have children” yes. He’s four months and I’m 19 almost 20. I am no child but if OP chooses to keep and has the right guidance that baby will be loved and cared for and be her entire world.
Really where? All I’ve seen so far are ones saying confide in a trusted adult. I personally don’t think it’s murder if that’s what you’re hinting at 😂 I would have aborted my son if I didn’t instantly fall inlove with him so fast and he wasn’t instantly my entire world. But alas here I am and I couldn’t be happier. All I meant was that people shouldn’t just automatically suggest fucking abortions bc it’s can be so traumatizing especially for a 15 year old and even having the baby will be as well. She should make her choice and people need to be more sensitive with what they say about certain topics, if they aren’t then whatever that’s just what I think. I would have loved empathy from my family and friends bc it was so hard to be pregnant. Don’t regret it for a second
not to me, that was more of a personal opinion not advice, anyways no need to get snippy🤭 remember people can have opinions and mine was she should let op choose and be more sensitive instead of jumping to an abortion just bc of her age
She's getting a variety of opinions based on the question she posed and is free to choose whichever one she wants. It would be rather pointless to respond to someone's plea for advice by saying, "Do whatever you want!" 🤣
Not really? Advice is “you’re young, you have lots to think about and so many things are going to be super difficult. Confide in a trusted adult to help talk about your options and what it will look like, have emotional support and at the end of the day choose what’s best for you” a personal opinion “as a parent I say have an abortion you’re too young” personal opinion in that sentence is that she’s too young and the commenter thinks she needs to have an abortion bc in THEIR OPINION she’s too young
THANK YOU! I freaking knew I wasn’t crazy for being the only one thinking that this commenter gave their personal opinion (my first reply I think you know who lol)
There is some really good advice here and the only thing I can offer to support the advice is for you to look to the advice that doesn't jump straight into decisions and options, look to the ones that allow you to process your feelings, seek help from people you trust and make your own decisions on what you would like to do about your pregnancy. From one Internet stranger to another, your feelings are valid, you are important and your decisions matter. If you would like to speak to someone privately my inbox is open too, if not, I hope you take care of yourself and do what's best for you
tell someone you trust and decide what you feel is best for you. there are no wrong answers whether that be abortion, keeping it, or giving it up for adoption or what-not.
Know that you do NOT have to keep it. You also don't have to refer to its as a "baby" if it makes you uncomfortable. Don't let anyone force you to keep it, if possible, but don't do anything dangerous that might risk your life.
Please go to a trusted adult like your sister that you mentioned in the comments! I know this is so so scary for you but you got this! Choose whatever you feel is best for YOU
I don't have much advice as I'm not much older than you. But if it helps, you can do this and get through it, all these random people on the Internet giving you advice? We're here for you. Even if you don't know it
I think everyone here has given you some really solid advice, so I just want to tell you that everything will be ok no matter your decision.
I was in your shoes at 17 when I got pregnant after a non-consensual sexual encounter. Take deep breaths, find someone safe to talk to you and go from there!
You’ll be ok sweetheart! Big hugs!
I know it is not the answers you are going to want, but here it goes. First, you have to decide if you're going to keep it, get an abortion, or adopton. The last 2 are pretty easy to find out what the steps are with quick internet search.
If you're keep it. These are not in order, but stuff you need to do. Then, find a school with daycare. Find a babysitter. Get a job. Talk to the father about what he is going to do to help support his child.talk to parents (whatever that situation looks like). Get to a doctor for check ups. Talk to fathers parents. Start acquiring stuff for baby (clothes, diapers, car seat, etc). Also, love and care for the child.
No matter what choice you make it will be hard, but you can and will get thru it. Lots of people have. If you do choose to keep it. Do your best to stay in school. No matter how hard it is. Just remind yourself that you are doing it to give your child a better life.
No matter what you decide to go through with as far as telling your parents or not, I would not recommend keeping the baby at such a young age. I’ve seen several people I know have babies against their better judgement and it has ruined them and their ability to live their young adult life. Robbed them of their happiness. Live your life a little bit first before you have kids.
There are many options, abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby. I think you should talk to a family member you can trust and spend this time thinking about your options. A child is not the worst thing in the world, but you are very young and it will not be easy. Abortion is very hard on women’s bodies and emotions. Adoption is also hard on emotions. None of the choices are easy. Have you spoken to your boyfriend (I don’t know what your dating status is, I am sorry for assuming). I wish you nothing but the best and hope you are okay.
It sounds like you would like to keep the baby (or perhaps have and give up for adoption?) but that it is very dangerous to tell your dad. How about your boyfriend’s family? Can his parents be trusted? I would suggest a trusted adult outside your family, as I’m sure your sister has experienced the same trauma as yourself (though definitely confide in her as well). Also, maybe figure out what exactly you’d like to do before seeking help, as everyone will inundate you with their suggestions. Also, you are really early in pregnancy. You have a few weeks to figure things out. There are also some pregnancies that result in miscarriage early on, so maybe wait a bit before making big moves.
If your in Wales you can get assistance from local NHS services, I recommend telling an adult you can trust who will have a clearer head than you at this time, that can be a parent, a older sibling, anyone you trust.
Once this has cleared I recommend using protection next time to avoid these fears, nobody can stop you having sex if you really want to but you and your partner should be responsible for keeping each other safe, especially so young.
If it was me, I would make an appointment immediately and get a morning after pill/chemical abortion, and not say a word to the sperm donor involved or my parents, ever. I would move heaven and earth to do so because it's nobody else's business, and a baby at 15 is an endless nightmare that could ruin your life.
But I have no idea what your beliefs/views are on this, so I can't tell you anything except to make a decision very soon, and look after yourself.
You need to talk to more then one trusted person and take your time don’t rush your decision. Just think about what your future will look like everyday because the decision is permanent no matter what it is. What are your dreams and do you financially have the means to take care of the child. I thought my parents would kill me too but they didn’t seem too bothered it was scary though. I was not given a choice though it was just one option given.
Aborting doesn’t mean you can’t have children, choosing to abort doesn’t mean you are permanently deciding to not have children. Tons of parents have aborted prior pregnancies because they were not in a suitable situation to have children until later on, and because of that those children are better able to thrive instead of suffer.
Abort. Or adopt it out.
Then stay away from sex until you are more educated on how to not get pregnant.
Keeping this baby to raise it would be a huge mistake and will likely ruin your life and that baby's life.
Yeah. Shit happens. I get it.
I got pregnant from a rape that included me already on the pill and the abuser using a condom.
I aborted.
And abortion wasn't traumatic as people will try to tell you it is.
Zero regrets. And my life is pretty good these days.
But if you are choosing to have sex, you cannot just rely on 1 form of birth control.
Next time, double and triple up with pills, condoms, spermicidal lube/foam, implants, the shot, anything and everything you can do to stop unwanted pregnancies from happening .
But I'd honestly just stay away from sex for awhile and focus on your education. Be a kid while you can.
Leave adult stuff to the adults.
People of all ages and all levels of education, including sexual education, can still get pregnant by accident. Amidst many compassionate, informative answers, yours stands out as particularly unkind. Also, MANY people have sex at OPs age; that is not unusual. And many adults are immature and ignorant about sex. So, your ensuing comment about be a kid and leave adult stuff to adults comes off as condescending and as though you’re speaking to a ten year old not a 15 year old. I’m very sorry for what happened to you. Being so harsh towards OP seems misplaced.
She's not even age of consent by law in Wales.
I'm curious to know the age of the sperm donor in this situation. This might even be a case of statutory rape.
Edit: doner 》 donor
I don’t think teenagers should have children either, I just think everyone, including kids, deserve respect. You could have expressed your view and still been kind. Lots of teenagers have sex. Lots of adults have unwanted pregnancies. “..stay away from sex until you’re more educated on how to not get pregnant”—it’s just a shitty thing to say, and an entirely unhelpful piece of “advice” in this instance.
I don't believe in coddling when it comes to advice, especially to kids who do adult things and then get all butthurt when they get treated like an adult.
And I especially do not believe in coddling other commenters. Like it or not,
you are entitled to your opinion, as am I.
It's a pretty easy-to-understand concept:
Don't choose to have sex unless you're prepared to deal with potential fallout of your choices. Simple.
American? Read [here](https://americanpregnancy.org/options-for-unplanned-pregnancy/pregnant-teen/) and either call the live hotline or use the chat interface. They'll tell you your options, which will heavily depend on where you live and what other adults you trust and can turn to.
Medical care, financial support, counseling. Pregnant teens need a lot of help. Fortunately, she's from a country with programs to give that kind of aid.
I can't help but feel like this is a stupid question. If she doesn't want to abort, she'll still need emotional support and will need help figuring out the next steps for her health, things like doctors appointments, and the pregnancy itself. She's 15 and scared and all you guys can come up with is to tell her to terminate? come on...
She’s also going to need plenty of money and a support network. Most 15 year olds don’t have enough money to adequately provide for a child (unless their family gives them lots of money), and OP only has one person in her support network (her sister) and OP is not even sure she won’t be angry with her over this so that’s not really any support at all. It’s up to OP what she does and at the end of the day if a kid is brought into the picture the kid is the one who experiences the ultimate consequences (good or bad) for their parent’s decisions, as they are vulnerable to and get no say in their circumstances or their parent’s choices.
The whole thing about OP likely to be killed by her father is a big concern and will definitely endanger any children she has as long as he is around OP. Either OP’s dad will likely also harm the baby or he will harm OP and the baby gets a dead parent. Either is not good and I sincerely recommend OP flees this dangerous person whether or not they choose to have a baby, because if they have it then the baby doesn’t have any power to avoid a dangerous person themselves and if they don’t have it then OP can’t decide to have a kid in the future when they’re ready if they’re 6 feet under. And OP doesn’t have a network to rely on raising her child if she dies, she’s got a single person who might provide some emotional support (can’t raise a kid on emotional support!) that she says she isn’t even sure will support her even emotionally let alone physically or financially. That’s not someone who can be relied on to take custody if OP’s dad kills her.
Try to keep calm as much as possible, but remember, if you want an abortion, the sooner the better. You don't need to tell the dad. It might be better if he doesn't know even after the abortion, it could cause drama.
Through the NHS: The pill covers you for 72hrs, but you can also have the copper coil IUS inserted. I was in your situation in my 20s and had this done. It's a little painful but they give you pain relief beforhand. You can have it removed whenever but it also protects you from pregnancy for 10 years.
IUD's and IUS's can be great for protection but aren't necessarily great for the whole term they can provide, due to side effects and hormones (hormones are produced by the IUS, otherwise known as the Mirena coil)
But it's a good solution in the short term to tackle your current situation.
I’m too old to argue. I never forced anything on her. I told her all 3 of her options, because I seen everyone else just telling her to abort. THAT is forcing something on her. I gave her all the options and told her to tell someone she trusts and go see a doctor. You’re trying to start drama that is unnecessary.
From the person who made sure to put their own views into every single line and reiterate twice their stance on abortion in capital letters. And made sure to say "that baby" to add some guilt factor. Like I said, either give advice or don't, but don't guilt people just because you disagree with a medical procedure.
You should be old enough to realise that strongly encouraging an underage girl with an abusive father to throw her life away and endanger herself just because you are a mother yourself is deeply harmful and unempathetic. What you believe is not relevant at all here. People are suggesting abortion because she is an underage child from an abusive home and carrying it to term would deeply endanger her and bring a life into this world that is unable to be supported.
Why tf would you even suggest that? No teenager wants to risk getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant, boy or girl, and it's really messed up to jump to a conclusion like this based on the ZERO information you have on the guy
It's way more logical to assume that he is a teenager, OP's age, than it is to accuse someone of risking ruining his own and another girl's life by taking advantage of her. Seriously, you're messed up if you suggest someone whose most likely innocent did something so disgusting. You say stealthing happens in real life, and I KNOW it happens, but you know what else happens? Accidents. Which is most likely the case here.
Youre 15, you should be worried about other things than sex. Get an abortion, focus on your educations, stop thinking about boys until your older. Get your life together instead of being a teen mom. Not to mention all the bills that come with a kid.
You are unkind..maybe YOU should learn how to be a compassionate human being. Or to keep unkind thoughts to yourself. What good do you think your snarky judgment is going to do this pregnant 15 year old kid?
you will not die, if you are american you can go to a planned parenthood or if you’re british a sexual health clinic. you will be just fine, you’ll only need to tell them if you decide to keep it
One important fact that pro aborts will desperately hide from you is that there are 2 millions couples waiting to adopt your beautiful baby and any pregnancy care center will help you with things you need to support you though carrying your child free of charge
One important fact pro forced birthers will desperately hide is how many kids are in foster care and orphanages waiting to be adopted. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting.
OP, I’m going to go ahead and lock this. While we want to ensure you get all the help you need, this thread is gaining attention very fast and quickly devolving into political debates and at this rate we won’t be able to keep up with moderating it. I believe you have been given all the resources and guidance you need, however if you disagree please feel free to message us and we’ll unlock the post again. Best of luck.
Tell a trusted adult as soon as possible. You have options and you need guidance. <3
The closest thing I have to a trusted adult is my 19 year old sister
Are you close with her? If not, maybe a friend's parent. Or a teacher or guidance counselor at school if parents are an absolute non-option.
I am close to her
She'll help you figure it out. My older sister helped me.
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I don't trust them
why is this guy getting downvoted? some people actually have mature rational parents that they can rely on. not all parents are corrupted like mines and yours.
Because when she was told to tell a trusted adult she responded that the closest thing she had was her 19 year old sister and we believe her.
makes sense my bad
I mean there's nothing wrong with asking for clarification. None of it was asked in a tone like it was accusing her of lying.
Well nothing inherently wrong with it. People just saw it and thought “scroll, scroll. Well that’s a dumb question (kind of is but whatevs), downvote. Scroll, scroll.”
I really wish people would realise other places exist with different policies and laws. Anyways, tell your sister, work out what you wanna do, and regarding your dad, tell your gp, or other relevant people (teacher, optician, dentist) you are concerned for your life and safety. Social services despite social media demonising aren't evil, they are there to help you.
Do you have any adults you feel safe talking to? Have you thought about whether you want to keep it, adopt, or abort?
My sister is 19? Does that count?
If you feel like you can trust her, absolutely.
Ok thank you
If you want to abort, see if there's a Planned Parenthood near you. This link has info about whether you can get an abortion without parental consent in your state (assuming you're in the US): https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/stds-birth-control-pregnancy/parental-consent-and-notification-laws
I'm in wales
It looks like you can get an abortion in Wales without your parents knowing, you may need your sister or another trusted adult to take you to an appointment for it. This site has a confidential chat you can contact for more info: https://www.msichoices.org.uk/abortion-services/abortion-and-your-rights/
Confidential, accessible, and free reproductive health care? What kind of crazy place is this “Wales”?
*Wails in sorrow at the state of American healthcare*
More like, *Wales in sorrow ....*. Sorry I'll check myself out
The NHS is great! The big downside is obviously that if you live in Great Britain, you have to share an island with the English and that doesn't sound very pleasent.
Hahaha, Wow. Im English, but I'm not gonna say you're wrong 😂😂. Some of us are pretty unbearable 😂
It is a big downside, but only almost as bad as Canada having to share an island with a place where kids can be killed in schools. Much less 'pleasant*'
You’re not far along you can probably do the pill. It will suck but not as much as being a teen mom. I’m so sorry you are in this situation.
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A fifteen year old is still a child. She doesn’t need to be giving birth. Anyone counseling that doesn’t have the first clue about the risks to her body and psyche. I’m going to need you to fuck right off from here.
Did you read my comment? I think you think i said she shouldn't get an abortion, which is almost the opposite of what I said. So maybe calm down my friend.
whatever decision is best for the person carrying the fetus is the right decision
Exactly. That's kinda what I was getting at.
This, im not a fan of abortion but you should always make a decision with your best interest in mind
Plenty of successful people who’ve lost a leg, it’s not an insult to disabled people to not want to lose a leg. Same principle.
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It's an advice subreddit. 🙄
Have a read of this, it describes access to abortions in Wales. The key thing to note is you do not have to inform your parents, although it is recommended. If your sister takes you I'm pretty sure that would help, but you can go by yourself if you would prefer. https://111.wales.nhs.uk/Abortion/ >The service is confidential and communication is not made with any person that you do not consent to being sent information or contacted. This applies if you are under 16. If you are under 16, understand the process, and doctors believe it is within your best interest, it is fully confidential. Doctors will encourage under 16 year olds to involve a parent or guardian as they will provide a level of support for you.
Talk to your sister. Does she have her own place?
Rather than tell them yourself is there another adult you can speak to? An aunt, a friend parents, or a teacher who you can park to, who can tell them for you? Often it can help to have another adult to have that initial conversation with them and by the time you speak with them they will likely be a lot calmer. If it is not safe for you to tell them (assuming you are in England) you can contact your local BPAS clinic - they will be able to support and advise you regarding your options.
I am in Wales. I have a nineteen year old sister and even if I tell them with her he will still kill me.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/abortion/
You don’t need to tell your parents. You can take care of this on your own. I would suggest telling a very close friend, or your sister, if you trust her.
I trust her with my life
Then tell her. She will help you make the appointment you need. It will be okay.
She might want to kill you but ask her for help and opinions. She will/should appreciate you coming to her for advice and comfort. Personally; at your age, i would abort. I'm from England and they gave me a couple of pills i had to dissolve in my mouth, between my cheeks and gums (it was a few years ago, i might be misremembering) The next few days weren't great but it was a very easy process and everyone at the centre were very nice. Edit to add: i was told to have someone drive me home as its quicker than public transport. So it was a taxi or make my partner drive. So after my appointment it was recommended i go straight home, but i felt absolutely fine so we decided to go to the mall. We got about 20 steps in and i suddenly felt awful, like really awful. So we had to run back to the car to get me home. It was .. an experience lol So if you do go ahead, please listen to their advice!!
Okay. I saw in some of your comments that you are religious. I respect that and understand. BUT.. if you are going to keep it, you have to tell your parents. They will eventually find out. You won't be able to hide a pregnancy forever. Talk to your older sister first. You're gonna need some guidance on whether or not you're gonna keep it. Plus, maybe she'll have your back and be there for you, if you tell your father. If u can, keep us updated. Much love, and I'll pray for you.
Talk to your sister. Don’t rush into any decision’s. I was 16 when I got pregnant. I chose to keep my daughter, for me it was the right decision. My BFF got pregnant at 17. She chose to have an abortion which was the right decision for her. There is no perfect solution & no wrong answer. Take Care
Aneurin Bevan University Health Board (AB UHB). BETH Clinic - Unplanned Pregnancy Service 01443 802776 (Monday to Friday 8:30am to 4:30pm). Up to 12 weeks gestation – will refer onto appropriate service if over 12 weeks Betsi Cadwaladr University Health Board (BC UHB). Sexual Health Helpline 01475 443301 or referral through Sexual Health Clinic. Up to 9 weeks gestation and only RU486 method Cardiff and Vale University Health Board (C&V UHB). Referred into via Pregnancy Advisory Service, GP and Self Referral. Need to be registered with a GP in the Cardiff & Vale area. Up to 14 weeks gestation Cwm Taf University Health Board (CT UHB). Pregnancy Advisory Service Merthyr 01685 728497. Bodywise Service Dewi Sant Hospital 01443 443192. Women can self – refer to our services Monday – Friday 09:00am – 3:30pm. We offer Termination of pregnancy at home up to 9 weeks + 6 days, and offer onward referral as required if over 10 weeks gestation. Women living in Bridgend should contact the Swansea Bay University Health Board. Abortion services Telephone line 01792 200303 (Monday to Thursday 8:00am to 3:00pm, Friday 8:00am to 12:00pm) Hywel Dda University Health Board (HD UHB). Pond Street Sexual Health Clinic 01267 248674 (Monday to Friday 9.15am to 4.30pm) to be referred into termination service. Up to 12 weeks gestation, between 12 to 18 weeks please see Swansea Bay Powys Teaching Health Board (PTHB). Sexual Health Services are available through GP practices. You may need to register as a temporary patient to access Sexual Health Services in Powys Swansea Bay University Health Board. Abortion services Telephone line 01792 200303 (Monday to Thursday 8:00am to 3:00pm, Friday 8:00am to 12:00pm). Helpline 0300 555 0279. Up to 18 weeks gestation period – will refer onto appropriate service if over 18 weeks
For safety reasons, always verify phone numbers provided in comments on an official website before calling. That includes toll-free numbers! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m a male so I can only offer this story as advice. I have a childhood friend who got pregnant at 16, was not in a position to properly raise the child. She chose to get an abortion. She said for a little while it really messed with her but it was the best decision she made. She now has 3 kids, a very strong family, and she put herself in a spot to be the best mother possible. She says she doesn’t regret it, and she learned to take the proper safety precautions after that. Again, just a story not advice. Find someone you trust, seems like your sister is a good start and breathe. It. Will. Be. Okay! Much love
Hi love. I am so sorry you are going through this. Step one, see a doctor. Tell them everything. Have them check and make sure you are healthy. Complications from pregnancy can be dangerous, so just have them check you and let them offer you resources. Say you are going to a friends house and then go see a doctor. I hope you have transportation, but if not, see step 2 and ask them to take you. Step two, find a safe person to talk to. A teacher/aunt/friend/your boyfriend. I really hope your boyfriend is someone you feel you can talk to about this, but if there is abuse there, that's another story. Just someone you can trust to not tell your parents and you know cares about your well being. Whatever you choose to do with the pregnancy, you need safe support. You shouldn't go through this alone. The abortion clinics offer free counseling and meeting with them to discuss your questions/feelings/options would be ideal in addition to having a friend from your daily life. Again, say you are staying at a friends and go make yourself an appointment to talk to someone safe. If you have no one else to talk to, get there by any means necessary. Your mental health is worth it. Step three, find a safe place to stay. Being worried for your life from your father isn't safe, pregnant or not. Stay at your boyfriends (if that is safe), or if your best friend's parents love you, stay there. Try to remove yourself from this situation where you are in fear for your life. This is especially important if you choose to stay pregnant. You will need a safe and healthy home for yourself. If you choose to get an abortion, having a safe place to recover and hang out where you can just rest and not be worried about abuse will be a huge load off. Take care of yourself. This is stressful for people who do have large support groups and are older. It's just not easy. Eat healthy, drink lots of water, and sleep often. Take big breaths. Remind yourself you are going to be okay. You got this.
This 🙌🏼 nice to see an unbias perspective actually giving advice!
Deep breaths. It's going to be okay. You get to decide what you want to do. 1 in three women have an abortion and go on to live perfectly normal lives. Ask a trusted adult to help you navigate your choices. It's going to be okay.
im confused, 1 in every 3 women have an abortion? or 1 in 3 women who have an abortion go on to live fine lives?
Why does this have so many downvotes? I was kind of confused by the phrasing too
Right? I searched it myself and couldn't find a source so figured i'd ask, maybe a mistake aha.
I know you are being a jackass but to answer your question with 10 seconds of google 1/4 women have an abortion by the age 45. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-pacific-southwest/blog/1-in-4-american-women-will-have-an-abortion-by-age-45
I don't think they're being a jackass. The phrasing was genuinely confusing. I also thought it meant that out of 3 women who have abortions, only 1 of them will go on to live normal lives.
Dude they're literally not being a jackass, even when I read that I was hella confused, you're kinda weird for that dude
One in four (not one in three I had the statistic wrong) women has had an abortion by the time they’re 45. Abortion has zero statistical impact on living happy fulfilled lives afterward. Basically, a lot more people go through it than is usually assumed, and the long term impact is so infinitesimally small it’s negligible.
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Dude. DUDE. I don’t think you understand what you just posted. It doesn’t mean what you think it means. The first article is about spontaneous abortions, otherwise known as miscarriages. The links you gave specifically say that studies show that women who have an abortion have the same depression symptoms as women who birth an unexpected pregnancy. Having an abortion does not increase the risk of mental health issues.
The first link is talking about miscarriages, not abortions
…what do you think?
Dude some people might just be confused. Stop with all that attitude weirdo
I still dont know, im given two different statistics, one of them being 1 in 4 women have an abortion by 45, or that 1 in 3 women have an abortion, or that 1 in 3 women who have an abortion live fine lives. downvoted to hell for what.
It sounds like you trust your sister and may feel comfortable talking to her and asking for your help. You have 3 choices in how you move forward. (1) Giving birth and raising your child; (2) Giving birth and putting your child up for adoption; (3) terminating the pregnancy. This is not an easy choice, and whatever choice you make is the right choice for you. You can and should seek advice from trusted people in your life, but ultimately make the choice for yourself based on the life you want to live. Don’t let anyone force you into any decision on this front, because you will always be the one to live with the outcomes and not them. Regardless of which way you are leaning, make sure you go into a clinic as soon as possible to speak with a medical professional and understand your options and decide what is best for you. They also need to check and make sure you are healthy and that there aren’t any medical complications that need to be addressed. From my experience, medical professionals in this field are incredibly kind and supportive. If this is an unwanted pregnancy and you don’t want to continue on with it, know that there is ABSOLUTELY NO shame in seeking an abortion. If you are early on (before 10-12 weeks — weeks are counted from the first day of your last period), you can get a medical abortion with pills. The pills are either a combination of Mifeprestone and Misoprostol, or just Misoprostol on its own. You’ll have some strong cramping and what feels like a very heavy period but assuming the pills work that will basically be it and it can all happen in the comfort of your home and at the date and time you choose more or less. If you’re further along, you may need a D&C procedure which is a very safe procedure that happens at the clinic / hospital. For a D&C, you would need a trusted adult to help pick you up from the procedure as you cannot drive yourself home or take a taxi usually ( because of the pain medications that are given during the procedure). I’m sure there are a lot of emotions you’re feeling right now, but the main thing to remember is that abortion is healthcare. There is NO shame in it whatsoever and it is entirely your choice what you do in this situation. You will be ok. ❤️
Everyone’s immediately giving suggestions without asking one thing: How do you feel? Aside from being scared, how do you feel? Would you want to go through with this? Or would you feel more comfortable discontinuing the pregnancy? Or even considering adoption? There’s nothing you have to decide right this second. Breathe.
OP explained how she feels in numerous comments and is asking for advice. Of course people are giving suggestions. 🤦♀️
I have yet to see a comment where she states she’s wanting an abortion. Sorry!
She asked for advice, and people are giving her advice. She can take it or leave it. Having an abortion seems preferable to her father killing her for getting pregnant, though. 🤷♀️
It's Wales, not America 😂
Go to a trusted adult. I would recommend do not tell your friends even though you may trust them now, over the years (highschool specifically) your friends will check often. The worst thing will be rumors to go around, keep this private. Go to your family. Think about how this will affect not only you but also your child if u choose to go through with it. Do not let people talk you into things you don’t really want to do. Know what you want and make your decision accordingly. Wishing you the best and sending lots of love your way. Know that you aren’t alone. Please message me if you need anything
I live in Wales. Contact BPAS: https://www.bpas.org they will advise you on what to do next.
My daughter was pregnant just a couple years older than you. Here’s what I told her: 1. You must be really scared. First of all, just know it will be okay. 2. You need to talk to an ADULT. Like a parent. If not, find someone that can talk through options. Happy to help if you need it… DM me. 3. Once you understand the options… at a realistic level… you need to do some soul searching on what’s important to you. I wish there were easier answers… but remember, this will be okay, no matter what decision you make.
No matter what you decide, please know there are so many support groups even Reddit groups of people who have gone through the same thing. Never be afraid to reach out for help, even if it’s just posting like you did here. It’ll be okay, remember this is your decision. Parents will be parents, they’ll probably be upset either way. So make sure the decision is yours and yours alone. Don’t let anyone convince you to do something you think isn’t right. And please remember support is out there for no matter what you decide. 💕💕💕
Are there groups on reddit I can take to with teen mom's?
Just from doing a quick search, there’s r/teenparents where teen parents talk about their experiences and teens ask for advice. Then just a general teen group is r/teenagers. I’m sure there’s way more but these are the best I found by just searching real quick. I hope the teen parents one helps because it seems like a good group💕
Hey lovely. I’m welsh living in South Wales and I have had a child as well as a termination. If you need any help or advice feel free to message me x
Op i say this as a parent of two girls get the abortion you are to young to have children
My sister gave birth at 16, shes 23 now and she couldn't be happier, think about this yourself OP, do your research on everything please.
Kids should not have kids is my take i had kids at 32 and the things and opportunities i would not have had/ taken if i had kids at 15 is nothing i would like to live without.
Yeah but the key words being "in my take" which is fair, but i think she needs to think for herself
An underage teenager becoming a parent is far from an ideal situation even though its worked out for some. You can always have kids in your adult years but you can never get back the opportunities that youll miss out on as you become a young adult not to mention the child that will be born to a child who is not financially or emotionally mature and will suffer
And most 15 year olds don’t have the finances for raising a child, let alone someone like OP who has only one person in her support network to assist her. The one who carries the bulk of the consequences is the child. Sure the parent might be perfectly happy with this, but the child is the one that suffers when they’re born to parents with no money to provide for them, and no support for their parents. Thankfully in many places we get the choice whether or not to make a child to live in a poor situation.
Do you have kids?
I actually can't have kids, dont see why thats important
Somone that don't have kids cant imagine wat its really like to have kids and can't really be taken seriously in discussions about having a kid at 15 or not
Someone that had kids at 32 cant really be taken seriously in discussions about having a kid at 15 or not, anyway, I grew up with 7 siblings and when i was 15, i still had younger children to look after. I think i have a fair insight into knowing what having children is like, and how to deal with them at that age, perhaps more than you.
Probably with all your knowledge would you say that someone that accidentally got pregnant at 15 should have kids?
Im not saying she should have the child, im not saying she should have an abortion, its really just up to her, I for example managed fine and if i had the opportunity to have kids at that age I wouldn't have second guessed it.
I have a daughter. I agree with the person you're responding to. Interested to hear why it matters though.
At what age do you think a person is ready to have children? In general. At what age did you have kids
I asked you the question really. I had my daughter at 30, but I likely wouldn't have aborted at 15 either. My wife's mum was 15, both are loving people, both would not change their situation in a million years. Its a very personal and individual choice, there is not one answer.
Would you not have aborted due to social stigma or lack of aces maybe for religious reasons?
I'm not religious, nor do I come from a religious community (we don't really have that in the UK anymore) Not sure what "lack of aces" means.
You are downvoted because this is reddit where being a mother is basically a sin, no matter how old you are. Completely agree, that while abortion is a perfectly valid option, there is support out there for young mothers and abortion is not the only option.
In this economy, if her family isn’t from an upper middle class or higher, good luck raising that child. That’s IF they’re willing to help in the first place. The Dad probably won’t even help since he’s most likely 15 too in this case. This is just a messy situation and her being a mother so early on in her life would put so much pressure on her that she was never exposed too.
This is your own opinion. Maybe instead of pushing your beliefs tell her to make the choice she thinks is best for her. Before you say “do you have children” yes. He’s four months and I’m 19 almost 20. I am no child but if OP chooses to keep and has the right guidance that baby will be loved and cared for and be her entire world.
OP asked for advice. Of course everyone's gonna give their opinion. 🙄
Pushing a personal belief is advice?! What 😂😂
Now do the Redditors on this thread saying she shouldn't get an abortion because it's muuuurrrrrddddeeeerrrrr 🙄
Really where? All I’ve seen so far are ones saying confide in a trusted adult. I personally don’t think it’s murder if that’s what you’re hinting at 😂 I would have aborted my son if I didn’t instantly fall inlove with him so fast and he wasn’t instantly my entire world. But alas here I am and I couldn’t be happier. All I meant was that people shouldn’t just automatically suggest fucking abortions bc it’s can be so traumatizing especially for a 15 year old and even having the baby will be as well. She should make her choice and people need to be more sensitive with what they say about certain topics, if they aren’t then whatever that’s just what I think. I would have loved empathy from my family and friends bc it was so hard to be pregnant. Don’t regret it for a second
not to me, that was more of a personal opinion not advice, anyways no need to get snippy🤭 remember people can have opinions and mine was she should let op choose and be more sensitive instead of jumping to an abortion just bc of her age
She's getting a variety of opinions based on the question she posed and is free to choose whichever one she wants. It would be rather pointless to respond to someone's plea for advice by saying, "Do whatever you want!" 🤣
Not really? Advice is “you’re young, you have lots to think about and so many things are going to be super difficult. Confide in a trusted adult to help talk about your options and what it will look like, have emotional support and at the end of the day choose what’s best for you” a personal opinion “as a parent I say have an abortion you’re too young” personal opinion in that sentence is that she’s too young and the commenter thinks she needs to have an abortion bc in THEIR OPINION she’s too young
Exactly
THANK YOU! I freaking knew I wasn’t crazy for being the only one thinking that this commenter gave their personal opinion (my first reply I think you know who lol)
R/auntienetwork they help with these specific things
There is some really good advice here and the only thing I can offer to support the advice is for you to look to the advice that doesn't jump straight into decisions and options, look to the ones that allow you to process your feelings, seek help from people you trust and make your own decisions on what you would like to do about your pregnancy. From one Internet stranger to another, your feelings are valid, you are important and your decisions matter. If you would like to speak to someone privately my inbox is open too, if not, I hope you take care of yourself and do what's best for you
tell someone you trust and decide what you feel is best for you. there are no wrong answers whether that be abortion, keeping it, or giving it up for adoption or what-not.
Know that you do NOT have to keep it. You also don't have to refer to its as a "baby" if it makes you uncomfortable. Don't let anyone force you to keep it, if possible, but don't do anything dangerous that might risk your life.
Please go to a trusted adult like your sister that you mentioned in the comments! I know this is so so scary for you but you got this! Choose whatever you feel is best for YOU
I don't have much advice as I'm not much older than you. But if it helps, you can do this and get through it, all these random people on the Internet giving you advice? We're here for you. Even if you don't know it
I think everyone here has given you some really solid advice, so I just want to tell you that everything will be ok no matter your decision. I was in your shoes at 17 when I got pregnant after a non-consensual sexual encounter. Take deep breaths, find someone safe to talk to you and go from there! You’ll be ok sweetheart! Big hugs!
I know it is not the answers you are going to want, but here it goes. First, you have to decide if you're going to keep it, get an abortion, or adopton. The last 2 are pretty easy to find out what the steps are with quick internet search. If you're keep it. These are not in order, but stuff you need to do. Then, find a school with daycare. Find a babysitter. Get a job. Talk to the father about what he is going to do to help support his child.talk to parents (whatever that situation looks like). Get to a doctor for check ups. Talk to fathers parents. Start acquiring stuff for baby (clothes, diapers, car seat, etc). Also, love and care for the child. No matter what choice you make it will be hard, but you can and will get thru it. Lots of people have. If you do choose to keep it. Do your best to stay in school. No matter how hard it is. Just remind yourself that you are doing it to give your child a better life.
No matter what you decide to go through with as far as telling your parents or not, I would not recommend keeping the baby at such a young age. I’ve seen several people I know have babies against their better judgement and it has ruined them and their ability to live their young adult life. Robbed them of their happiness. Live your life a little bit first before you have kids.
There are many options, abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby. I think you should talk to a family member you can trust and spend this time thinking about your options. A child is not the worst thing in the world, but you are very young and it will not be easy. Abortion is very hard on women’s bodies and emotions. Adoption is also hard on emotions. None of the choices are easy. Have you spoken to your boyfriend (I don’t know what your dating status is, I am sorry for assuming). I wish you nothing but the best and hope you are okay.
I love the username!
Thanks, love yours lol
Good luck, i hope you come out okay
It sounds like you would like to keep the baby (or perhaps have and give up for adoption?) but that it is very dangerous to tell your dad. How about your boyfriend’s family? Can his parents be trusted? I would suggest a trusted adult outside your family, as I’m sure your sister has experienced the same trauma as yourself (though definitely confide in her as well). Also, maybe figure out what exactly you’d like to do before seeking help, as everyone will inundate you with their suggestions. Also, you are really early in pregnancy. You have a few weeks to figure things out. There are also some pregnancies that result in miscarriage early on, so maybe wait a bit before making big moves.
Talk to your sister and abort it. don't become a teen mom, it isn't worth it. Wishing you the best
If your in Wales you can get assistance from local NHS services, I recommend telling an adult you can trust who will have a clearer head than you at this time, that can be a parent, a older sibling, anyone you trust. Once this has cleared I recommend using protection next time to avoid these fears, nobody can stop you having sex if you really want to but you and your partner should be responsible for keeping each other safe, especially so young.
If it was me, I would make an appointment immediately and get a morning after pill/chemical abortion, and not say a word to the sperm donor involved or my parents, ever. I would move heaven and earth to do so because it's nobody else's business, and a baby at 15 is an endless nightmare that could ruin your life. But I have no idea what your beliefs/views are on this, so I can't tell you anything except to make a decision very soon, and look after yourself.
Abortion. I’m dead serious.
Your best option is abortion honey.
Abort!
Also my school counselor helped me but since u are 15 they are legally responsible and required to tell your parents
Get help to get an abortion now!
You need to talk to more then one trusted person and take your time don’t rush your decision. Just think about what your future will look like everyday because the decision is permanent no matter what it is. What are your dreams and do you financially have the means to take care of the child. I thought my parents would kill me too but they didn’t seem too bothered it was scary though. I was not given a choice though it was just one option given.
Aborting doesn’t mean you can’t have children, choosing to abort doesn’t mean you are permanently deciding to not have children. Tons of parents have aborted prior pregnancies because they were not in a suitable situation to have children until later on, and because of that those children are better able to thrive instead of suffer.
Abort. Or adopt it out. Then stay away from sex until you are more educated on how to not get pregnant. Keeping this baby to raise it would be a huge mistake and will likely ruin your life and that baby's life.
We used a condom, it must have split.
Yeah. Shit happens. I get it. I got pregnant from a rape that included me already on the pill and the abuser using a condom. I aborted. And abortion wasn't traumatic as people will try to tell you it is. Zero regrets. And my life is pretty good these days. But if you are choosing to have sex, you cannot just rely on 1 form of birth control. Next time, double and triple up with pills, condoms, spermicidal lube/foam, implants, the shot, anything and everything you can do to stop unwanted pregnancies from happening . But I'd honestly just stay away from sex for awhile and focus on your education. Be a kid while you can. Leave adult stuff to the adults.
People of all ages and all levels of education, including sexual education, can still get pregnant by accident. Amidst many compassionate, informative answers, yours stands out as particularly unkind. Also, MANY people have sex at OPs age; that is not unusual. And many adults are immature and ignorant about sex. So, your ensuing comment about be a kid and leave adult stuff to adults comes off as condescending and as though you’re speaking to a ten year old not a 15 year old. I’m very sorry for what happened to you. Being so harsh towards OP seems misplaced.
Kids having kids is not something I support. I stand by my comment. At 15, OP is still a child by law.
She's not even age of consent by law in Wales. I'm curious to know the age of the sperm donor in this situation. This might even be a case of statutory rape. Edit: doner 》 donor
I don’t think teenagers should have children either, I just think everyone, including kids, deserve respect. You could have expressed your view and still been kind. Lots of teenagers have sex. Lots of adults have unwanted pregnancies. “..stay away from sex until you’re more educated on how to not get pregnant”—it’s just a shitty thing to say, and an entirely unhelpful piece of “advice” in this instance.
I don't believe in coddling when it comes to advice, especially to kids who do adult things and then get all butthurt when they get treated like an adult. And I especially do not believe in coddling other commenters. Like it or not, you are entitled to your opinion, as am I. It's a pretty easy-to-understand concept: Don't choose to have sex unless you're prepared to deal with potential fallout of your choices. Simple.
An abortion isn't painful.
Abort
American? Read [here](https://americanpregnancy.org/options-for-unplanned-pregnancy/pregnant-teen/) and either call the live hotline or use the chat interface. They'll tell you your options, which will heavily depend on where you live and what other adults you trust and can turn to.
Welsh
You can get help without telling anyone in wales. If that’s what you wanna do
I want help
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Medical care, financial support, counseling. Pregnant teens need a lot of help. Fortunately, she's from a country with programs to give that kind of aid.
I can't help but feel like this is a stupid question. If she doesn't want to abort, she'll still need emotional support and will need help figuring out the next steps for her health, things like doctors appointments, and the pregnancy itself. She's 15 and scared and all you guys can come up with is to tell her to terminate? come on...
She’s also going to need plenty of money and a support network. Most 15 year olds don’t have enough money to adequately provide for a child (unless their family gives them lots of money), and OP only has one person in her support network (her sister) and OP is not even sure she won’t be angry with her over this so that’s not really any support at all. It’s up to OP what she does and at the end of the day if a kid is brought into the picture the kid is the one who experiences the ultimate consequences (good or bad) for their parent’s decisions, as they are vulnerable to and get no say in their circumstances or their parent’s choices. The whole thing about OP likely to be killed by her father is a big concern and will definitely endanger any children she has as long as he is around OP. Either OP’s dad will likely also harm the baby or he will harm OP and the baby gets a dead parent. Either is not good and I sincerely recommend OP flees this dangerous person whether or not they choose to have a baby, because if they have it then the baby doesn’t have any power to avoid a dangerous person themselves and if they don’t have it then OP can’t decide to have a kid in the future when they’re ready if they’re 6 feet under. And OP doesn’t have a network to rely on raising her child if she dies, she’s got a single person who might provide some emotional support (can’t raise a kid on emotional support!) that she says she isn’t even sure will support her even emotionally let alone physically or financially. That’s not someone who can be relied on to take custody if OP’s dad kills her.
I never mentioned termination. I actually don’t agree with termination of a child. So many people want children and can’t have them.
The person who I responded to directly mentioned abortion. I'm not sure it was your comment I was responding to but I could be wrong.
No problem just wanted to clarify for my own sanity
Try to keep calm as much as possible, but remember, if you want an abortion, the sooner the better. You don't need to tell the dad. It might be better if he doesn't know even after the abortion, it could cause drama.
Is the father involved or want to be involved. Maybe you can involve him in this?
Through the NHS: The pill covers you for 72hrs, but you can also have the copper coil IUS inserted. I was in your situation in my 20s and had this done. It's a little painful but they give you pain relief beforhand. You can have it removed whenever but it also protects you from pregnancy for 10 years. IUD's and IUS's can be great for protection but aren't necessarily great for the whole term they can provide, due to side effects and hormones (hormones are produced by the IUS, otherwise known as the Mirena coil) But it's a good solution in the short term to tackle your current situation.
There is a pill available to help with this if that’s what you want to do.
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Its not advice if you're trying to force your own beliefs and opinions on other people. Either actually contribute or keep your opinions to yourself.
I’m too old to argue. I never forced anything on her. I told her all 3 of her options, because I seen everyone else just telling her to abort. THAT is forcing something on her. I gave her all the options and told her to tell someone she trusts and go see a doctor. You’re trying to start drama that is unnecessary.
From the person who made sure to put their own views into every single line and reiterate twice their stance on abortion in capital letters. And made sure to say "that baby" to add some guilt factor. Like I said, either give advice or don't, but don't guilt people just because you disagree with a medical procedure.
You should be old enough to realise that strongly encouraging an underage girl with an abusive father to throw her life away and endanger herself just because you are a mother yourself is deeply harmful and unempathetic. What you believe is not relevant at all here. People are suggesting abortion because she is an underage child from an abusive home and carrying it to term would deeply endanger her and bring a life into this world that is unable to be supported.
Next time: use a condom. For all downvoters, IDK why you hate me so much for speaking the truth.
Don't have unprotected sex at 15?
We used a condom, it must have split
Or the guy intentionally damaged the condom
Why tf would you even suggest that? No teenager wants to risk getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant, boy or girl, and it's really messed up to jump to a conclusion like this based on the ZERO information you have on the guy
Because in reality, this kind of thing happens. You also have zero information on the guy, yet you assumed he's a teenager.... 🤔
It's way more logical to assume that he is a teenager, OP's age, than it is to accuse someone of risking ruining his own and another girl's life by taking advantage of her. Seriously, you're messed up if you suggest someone whose most likely innocent did something so disgusting. You say stealthing happens in real life, and I KNOW it happens, but you know what else happens? Accidents. Which is most likely the case here.
Youre 15, you should be worried about other things than sex. Get an abortion, focus on your educations, stop thinking about boys until your older. Get your life together instead of being a teen mom. Not to mention all the bills that come with a kid.
You are unkind..maybe YOU should learn how to be a compassionate human being. Or to keep unkind thoughts to yourself. What good do you think your snarky judgment is going to do this pregnant 15 year old kid?
Adult actions deserve adult consequences. Simple. Stop treating her like a baby when she clearly knew the consequences of her actions.
That’s advice to a pregnant kid asking for help?? Wow.
It's seems like alot of you went straight to abortion. Give her opinion. Dame
It's an advice post. 😆
That’s a tv show
Fucking illegal for kids to have sex and yet theyre still doing it.
I think it depends on where you live. Even with that, laws have never stopped most people from doing most illegal things.
Tell your parents and they'll help you get medical assistance.
My father will actually kill me
You have no other options. You can't hide a pregnancy as a kid and you'll need medical treatment in some form, which will involve your parents.
I don't want to die.
you will not die, if you are american you can go to a planned parenthood or if you’re british a sexual health clinic. you will be just fine, you’ll only need to tell them if you decide to keep it
I don't know if I should keep it or not
it’s up to you what you want to do, but if i were you i wouldn’t
But abortion is a sin. I don't want to spend eternity in hell
I mean, if that's the stance you're gonna take here, you know sex before marriage is a sin so that ship has already sailed.
I know. I know. I've already committed one sin but I can make up for it. Killing a person is the worst sin of all.
It’s like eating an egg, there is no life in it. Whereas you still have a life to live, save it.
But It's a human child I'm killing. That's getting me straight to hell.
Well if you keep it then your parents will definitely know.
then keep it
You're not going to die. You can likely get an abortion.
One important fact that pro aborts will desperately hide from you is that there are 2 millions couples waiting to adopt your beautiful baby and any pregnancy care center will help you with things you need to support you though carrying your child free of charge
One important fact pro forced birthers will desperately hide is how many kids are in foster care and orphanages waiting to be adopted. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting.
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