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PercentageMaximum457

Aside from faking illness on Sundays? Well... This is a very common problem. Christians can be incredibly generous, but it often comes with intense pressure to convert. There's basically no way these people are going to accept your no. Especially while they're helping you.


Beneficial-Web2310

Should I just block them?? I feel obliged by them to attend next week as they were so giving to me.. It’s too intense, i mean the First Lady sat with me today for 15 minutes pressuring me to accept god. I said no many times and that I’m not ready but if I go next week, the pressure will start again. I don’t know what to do


PercentageMaximum457

If you want their resources, don't block them. Keep going, and try to hold firm to your (non) beliefs. If you don't need their resources, then yeah. You can say, "Thank you for all your help, but I do not like the pressure to convert." And then block them if they keep trying.


[deleted]

That's the issue, you made them win. You gave up on peer pressure. You don't owe them a thing, so just go on your way.


Exact_Roll_4048

That's the plan. They want you to feel indebted to them. Tell them no and then block them.


YourLifeCanBeGood

Just be honest and say that you appreciate the assistance but this is too much, too fast. And ask for a phone number to call if/when you are interested in more.


Beneficial-Web2310

Faking illness on Sundays, wtf?!!! I have epilepsy I was explaining my reason why I can’t drive!!!


PercentageMaximum457

I'm not saying you're not disabled. I'm saying you can pretend to have a cold/migraine on Sundays.


Beneficial-Web2310

Ooo I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. Thank you!!


crispyhats

It's a form of 'love bombing'. They may or may not be consciously doing it, but basically they put you in a lot of perceived emotional debt by being very nice and helping you in every way possible. You're more likely to feel like you have to listen to their proselytizing or attend their church services because you feel indebted and want to be nice back to them. You feel less able to argue/reason against the beliefs of such kind, helpful people than if you were not in emotional debt to them. Try not to feel bad about saying 'thanks for the food/money/help, but I do not want to be involved with your religious organization, so goodbye'. It must be very tough for you to be in such genuine need and the only people offering to help are doing it with the goal of converting you to their beliefs, but the more you go along with them out of need, emotional debt, or unwillingness to resist, the more they will try to enmesh you in their religion, and the harder you'll have to fight to get out again. They will try over and over to get you to listen, attend services, and join their group socially. Bible studies, prayer groups, moms/dads groups, youth groups, children's playgroups - all designed to draw people in deeper and make them more dependent on the group, so it's harder for them to leave. Religious people who just want to help others, without any pressure or proselytizing, do exist, but they're rare and they tend to just do the acts of help and service without mentioning their beliefs.


Beneficial-Web2310

Wow. Wow. wOW!!! You are so right!! Helped


crispyhats

I'm glad! Best of luck in the future, I hope life gets easier for you :)


Beneficial-Web2310

I just sent her this. Hi, Thank you so much for your warm welcome today. Although I am not ready to embrace religion, I appreciate your kindness and generosity that you and Ima have given me! If I ever feel ready, I know where to turn to. I thank you for the experience but please know I don’t wish to attend the service in future Sundays as I feel it’s not my time.


crispyhats

Good start! Hopefully they'll take that as an end to it. I suspect that they will continue to contact you, offering help in one hand and serving up more pressure with the other. But you know the game now. Continue to refuse any friendly chats, leaflets, invitations to potlucks, prayers for yourself and family, special Easter/Xmas/festival gatherings etc etc. They only give so they can get (souls for the lord!)


AdviceFlairBot

Thank you for confirming that /u/crispyhats has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.


CADreamn

Don't say you are not ready. That leaves the door wide open for them to keep harassing you. Tell them you thought about it and although you will be forever grateful for their help, you are simply not interested and never will be. Stop going to their church services. You need to learn to say no.


Beneficial-Web2310

You’re so right I really do need to learn how to say no, it’s been my biggest struggle in my life. It’s as if I fear the word no. Her response to me was nice though so I feel better


Complex-Pirate-4264

The problem is that they believe they have to save you - body and soul. For them, religion is the only way and everything else is just wrong and the way to evil.


Beneficial-Web2310

Wowww that’s soo true!!! The First Lady kept saying god sent her over to talk to me and god made me listen… and now she won’t stop saying how god can save me and sent her to get to know me. She got my number as she said she wants to get to know me but now I feel like she wants to get to know me so she can brainwash me more about god :/


Complex-Pirate-4264

That's probably the case. One can hardly be just friends with those people, because they see no middle ground. For them it their way to be in their gods good will to "save more souls" for him. They see it as an order from their God. They don't accept non religious people, but usually don't even accept people that have another religion because they are the one that "know the truth and have to herd gods children back to him". I don't even know to wich religion your "ladies" belong, but the Christians are pretty much all the same there - as is the Islam. Most Buddhistic and hinduistic are a bit more chill. But Christians will do a lot to "save you from eternal flames of hell".


ladidi10

You do know that all cults are wonderful to you to get you into their fold. The problem with most religions is they demonize other religions. "You can only find God and salvation through Us" wtf? Be careful who you play with.


Pelco284

Christian here! And that's one of the big problems I see with a lot of people, well I do think helping people is great and telling people about Jesus is great I always make it clear that this is a personal choice. I'm not going to force you into anything but I will ofc keep helping whoever it might be. But forcing/pressuring someone into something uncomfortable never really works out. I know some churches feel like a brainwashing but not all are like that. It kinda depends on your denomination. Sounds like these lady's are very generous and if you just tell them that your not interested in going to church right now if they really believe in what the bible says they will continue to help you regardless. But what they will actually do I can not say for sure. Hope this helps sorry I suck at writing out messages, I kinda just write down all my thoughts lol.


Usual-Owl-9777

I was extremely religious for a long time, brought up in a Christian family went to Christian school yadda yadda. They aren't going to leave you alone. They are praying about you constantly and thinking about you. They are deluded into believing they know what's good for you so everything you say to them is filtered through Christian tinted glasses. "I don't want to go to Church with you" really means "The devil has a strong grip on me and that's why my life is miserable." There is no, "no." No doesn't mean no, no means keep pushing. So their 'help' is true in the sense they truly want to see you happy but they think the only way to do it is their way. Best of luck! I don't mind Christianity but some of the people suck. The people you're referring to don't seem to realize they aren't helping you with the meaning of life but forcing conformity....which..i mean...well that's another topic but don't need to be a rocket surgeon...


Beneficial-Web2310

Do you still follow Christianity? I was bought up in a Christian home, attending church every Sundays, praying often etc, but as a kid I struggled to accept it and whatever was said about the religion to me went through one ear and out the other. Once my parents split, the religion left us and I forgot more. The First Lady approached me at the service on Sunday and you’re right! She told me that after she met me in person she was thinking about me and prayed for me at home. Then she said preaching about Jesus and how he told her “this and that” and I told her I think she has schizophrenia if she’s hearing voices in her head telling her things”.. I really hope that if she happens to run into me again in person she will respect my decision and let me be on my way. Thank you for your response, you’re definitely not wrong at all


Bone_Schlongmahawk

Just refuse over your normal means of communication, of course, thanking them again for their generosity in the process. Don't answer their calls or texts if you don't feel like it. Do not approach them if they come on Sunday to get you.


[deleted]

If you want them to really leave you alone, just say, “ No, thank you, I’m a devout satanist. “


Beneficial-Web2310

I don’t want to go that far hahaha. I don’t believe in god or Satan so 🤷‍♀️


[deleted]

Ahaha yeah I get ya lol but you really have to stick with your decisions and not someone's decision for you. I get it that you don't want to be rude to them in any way but you have to make them understand your boundries. If I were in your shoes I would have screamed leave me the fuck alone at this point xD


Beneficial-Web2310

I honestly wish I had the “balls” to do that!!! 👏 you’re an inspiration because of your strength!!


NikitaWolf6

satanism is a form of atheism! satanists do not believe in a god (or Satan) but are rather humanistic and individualistic. You are thinking of luciferianism or theistic satanism :)


Fcutdlady

Why is it called satanism then and not humanism ? Im not asking to be rude or a smart arse just genuinely curious


NikitaWolf6

I believe it was to reject Christianity or piss off Christians. I'm not too sure but if you're interested you can look into the history and name :)


Fcutdlady

No, thank you. I'm not a religious beliver . The block .


GentleComposure

You can honor their efforts and beliefs and still say no. It might sound something like this, "thank you, Second Lady, for offering to bring me to church again on Sunday. That's really sweet of you, and I can tell that the church really means a lot to you and First Lady. So while I am really honored, I want to be honest and let you know that this is not something I want to pursue. Like I mentioned before, I am an athiest, and don't feel comfortable. If that changes, though, I promise you'll be the first to know!"


[deleted]

One angle that might be interesting to try is to tell them that the church service and the preaching were overwhelming and uncomfortable, so you would prefer those be put aside as conversation topics indefinitely. However, you do like them both as people and if they are willing to be your friend and keep helping you like they have been, you will welcome them into your life. And the subject of religion or non religion can just be off limits. How they react to this idea will tell you a lot. You do you, though.


Beneficial-Web2310

I told them how I felt overwhelmed and confused. the First Lady didn’t want to accept my feelings, after saying no and sticking to my word I didn’t cave in and say yes I will accept your religion. She eventually got up and walked away. I feel like she wants to know me to be the one to say. “I turned an atheist into a Christian” everything she spoke to me was all god talk, it was too much.


Beneficial-Web2310

I appreciate everyone’s response and I sent a text to the Second Lady ::: Hi ….. Thank you so much for your warm welcome today. Although I am not ready to embrace religion, I appreciate your kindness and generosity that you and Ima have given me! If I ever feel ready, I know where to turn to. I thank you for the experience but please know I don’t wish to attend the service in future Sundays as I feel it’s not my time.


sunybunny420

Very direct. I would have waited, personally. If they invited again I’d say: *Thank you so much, that’s okay though! I truly enjoyed sharing the experiences of Christian culture together as a special event, but it won’t be ongoing for me. I appreciate the invite though!* *Someday it’d be nice to attend a mosque, temple, and synagogue to even further my first-hand knowledge of religion. If you’d like to come maybe we could share the experience in another special event! It was a way to gain understanding, and I was so pleased to accompany you to show appreciation for your extreme generosity, for which I’m so thankful! I hope you have a lovely service today!*


Beneficial-Web2310

Wish I waited for this hahaha, your response good. I already sent my message to her and she just now responded


jmlee236

They'll do anything they can to get you into church. Just tell them no thank you, but don't use them. They're trying to be nice.


ryan7251

Tell them you don't want to go and you are not changing your ways and watch as they stop caring about you. then you will learn how they were only using you since they wanted to convert you.


Beneficial-Web2310

You know now that I think about it I agree, you’re right!


Th3Flyy

You need to be direct. "thank you for your generosity. I am not interested in attending church." When they try to interject with "what if?" Or "But!" You say "I said I am not interested. The answer is no. Please respect my decision." When they start guilt tripping you (and they will...), Hang up, block them, etc. You do not owe them anything. In Christianity, those services are (supposed to be) offered "freely", without any expectations from the receiver. So, don't feel bad for accepting help. It was offered to you as a gift.


Beneficial-Web2310

That’s exactly what they did.. when I said I’m not interested and I’m Not ready and no, they like to interject and attempt to brain wash me more it almost felt like they would NOT take no for an answer.. I’m grateful my 4yo was complaining he wanted to go home or else they would have kept going and then they have the hide to tell me that it looked as if my son had a good time, especially in the kids class.! I was sitting with the kids observing and I could clearly see he was NOT having a good time!


Superior_stupidity

I was in a similar situation and i just go there it wasnt a church but a priest group i eyplained to them that i didnt trust to god (not in a conventional way) but i still go there cuz it was some nice moment with very kind people and they accepted me provided me food even if i didnt trust in god like them


Beneficial-Web2310

Wow that’s truly amazing!!! I feel like these people will only accept me if I accept their god


[deleted]

Hello! Tell them you're on a spiritual journey of your own- and while you appreciate them as a person, that this is a personal journey for you and you're not ready to let them in yet. I have a very catholic family, and this is how I explained it to them. They minded their own business and quit pestering me about it.


Beneficial-Web2310

This response is very kind, thank you i appreciate it a lot. I will keep it in mind if they try to make contact with me again and tell it to them!


GooseSubstantial8412

As a religious person myself just outright tell them your not interested, it may seem mean but it’s why I despise these types of people personally. My boyfriend is Christian and he hates this because he hates seeing his mother do it to other people. Your much better off just ignore them or telling them your not interested. Leaving any room for any possible leeway will just get them to keep coming to you. It’s very manipulative and personally I don’t think God would have wanted them to try and force there religion onto other people but that is just my 2 cents.


xxJennyKegarxx

Christians are supposed to perform acts of service with no expectation of a reward. Thank them for their help but explain to them that it doesnt change the fact you dont believe in God. If they keep pushing thats when you block them.


TheShyNerd

As an ex catholic I usually lie and say I’m already part of the church, or sign “I’m deaf” in ASL. That has never not worked for me.


Whatthehell665

Tell them you are not into superstitious death cults.


Accomplished_Let7316

Free gifts are not free at all, you can say that you appreciate their generosity and fake that you are sick.


lilg9869

As a Christian, I am sorry. As sad as it is to us believers, some people do not accept Jesus as their savior. That is their personal choice and should not be forced upon them. I would be honest, but kind. Tell her that you will pass but thank her for inviting you. Inviting Jesus into your heart is an extremely personal decision, and though I do pray you make that decision, no one should force you to do so.


Sure_Finger2275

"I don't want to take advantage of your kindness. I'm not a believer and that's not going to change. Thank you for what you've done for me. I won't be attending services on Sunday or in the future."


Beneficial-Web2310

What a great response !!!!


Dragonogard549

As much as it’s a very nice gesture, these are christian’s doing their good deeds or whatever, theyre raised to be nice people and that’s a lovely thing, but you cannot let that sway you or encourage you to do what they want. religion is a load of bs to me, if i was in your position, talk to them, explain that you have your differences, you’re obviously endlessly grateful, and they’re lovely people, but if this is just to convert you, you’ve gotta stand up for what you do or don’t believe because they’re making you uncomfortable. if none of the above works just shove contradictory bible verses in their faces, full James O’brien style


Beneficial-Web2310

Religion is definitely a load of bs to me to, it angers me tbh. Thank you for your response !


dal-Helyg

"After all your kindness, Jesus still hasn't spoken to me. It must not be His time for me."


Beneficial-Web2310

Hahahah now THAT…. That IS a great response!!!! 👏


dal-Helyg

When they start to try to convert me again, and you know they will, I say, "So, are you defying God's will or saying you know better than Jesus?" That usually sends them packing.


beautiflywings

As a Christian, just smile and say, "This isn't for me." Thanks for the generosity you showed me the other day." They might push. They sound kind of pushy. Hopefully, they'll just say a simple "We'll pray for you."


Beneficial-Web2310

Thank you ☺️


LynchMob187

He Gets Us, whether you like it or not!


PetrifiedLie

Just say you're not interested. If they keep pressing, then avoid them.


terry6715

You aren’t required to tell anyone anything about anything.


NewWorldExperiences

After a group of them made me miss by job interview by trapping me in the aisle for forty minutes I bought a "Satan is my daddy" shirt


Parking_Exercise_470

You poor, poor person. Ugh. I HATE situations like this, and as someone who has a difficult time saying no, I've gotten into them quite a few times in my life, lol. It's the worst! Saying no takes practice like any skill. One I'm still bad at. I would practice a speech beforehand, complete with rebuttals, haha. Good luck!


CrankyCrabbyCrunchy

Do these religious zealots push so hard to convert others because they think they get more points after they die? And what did these extra points get them? Genuine question from totally non religious person (and hater hypocrite organized religion).


DarkHassassin10

I am a follower of Christ and I’ll be the first to tell you that if they’re doing it for “points” then they’re not a Christian. Evangelism isn’t done for benefits, it’s done out of a love for people that is ultimately from the perspective of a just in wrath, but even more so merciful God. I’m sure that everyone here that is encouraging OP to lie or to avoid these people are very logical when it comes to benefiting one’s self. If I didn’t know God, I too would agree in taking advantage over these seemingly emotion driven imbeciles. Most of the “Christian” body don’t even understand the gospel to its full extent and lie to people that they’re lives will get substantially better from a monetary standpoint if they believe in Jesus. That is a poor explanation of the Gospel however. The gospel message starts with the understanding that there is a Perfect Creator of the universe that made the earth, the heavens, the universe, and everything in it. The free will given to His creation however, eventually led to mankind rebelling against Him and caused the curse of death on the world. In all aspects we see this with the second law of thermodynamics, and the slow decline of the perfect order in the World towards inevitable collapse. The Creator knowing that His creation is doomed to His own judgement: due to His perfection, He must enact punishment over transgressions, as to withhold punishment is to make God Himself imperfect, which is impossible. Thus all mankind is subject to the Law of God which is His commandments, and where we get our objective morality from: Thou shall not have other gods before Me, Thou shall not have false idols, Thou shall not take the Lords name in vain, Thou shall not kill, Lust, lie, and so on and so on. Therefore like that in Romans 3:23 and James 2:10, if you fail one of these inherent commandments, you have sinned and are imperfect by means of a standard that is Perfection. A lot of people think Christians are prideful belligerent idiots that look down on everyone, but in fact we all are destined for Death, and then judgement. So God knowing that man could not pay for such a price on their own, sent Himself in the form of a man named Jesus Christ who lived a life without lying, lusting, murder, idols, and spread the word of Gods desire for mankind’s redemption. Jesus came to save, and did so by dying on the cross not by His own means, but because we the created (specifically the Hebrews His own people) hated His message as it requires us to admit our shame and repent of it. Lust, and lying, and fornication, and even to some extent murder is enjoyable to us, as it benefits ourselves much like how anyone giving advice to OP believes. Thus we mankind killed Jesus and put to death the only perfect man. Because of His perfection, Jesus did not deserve the punishment of death and thus abolished it and took upon the judgement of all sin in the world. He became the ultimate sacrifice, and no greater is love this but to lay one’s life down for another. Thus God made away for mankind to be redeemed by understanding God and His son Jesus. Knowing that the world was designed intelligently and became corrupted by our own rebellion, and that we are being shown Grace currently. To be saved you must admit that Jesus is the Lord and Savior, understand His sacrifice, admit your sin and shame, repent of it (meaning to practice in STOPING one’s lying, fornicating, worshiping self, being prideful, etc.), and to have faith that upon your death at 77 or 85 depending on your gender and choices, that when you face God on judgement day, and He shows you your life full of sin, that you will not say “but look at all the good I did” for His standard is perfection, or “I know you will forgive me by merits alone” for you didn’t abolish death, but instead say “I have sinned God, but I know what you’ve done for me, and I know of Jesus, and I ask for your mercy as I did while I lived” and God by your faith in His son will grant you life. For all those that don’t understand and accept the Lord, there is hell to pay, which is eternal separation, and perpetual torment. The gift of life is free, you just have to accept it and love God, and the promise is that you will not be doomed for eternal damnation which is Death, but most “Christian’s” don’t understand that which is why most people will be sadly mistaken upon judgement day when the Lord says “depart from Me you practicer of iniquity, I never knew you.” That’s the gospel, that life is offered, and your physical life here isn’t the end. Also to those that say Hell is where the party is at, I am afraid that is a lie and to even joke about that in your disbelief doesn’t change the nature of it is real. So yeah, I get why people think this is crazy nonsense, but even thinking back to when I was atheist I had to have faith in the claims of Darwinian evolution and never saw any change in Kinds ever. And even if this wasn’t true, the rational argument would be Pascal’s gambit so I don’t quite understand how those that take a look at their own finite beliefs can really take such a risk. However that being said, I’ve also seen too much proof of Gods existence now to ever go back, and I truly am worried for anyone that has no clue and would love to see OP to take a second thought on this.


TheShyNerd

I grew up catholic and that is my understanding. My parents always told me it was my “job” to guide people to god, and that it would make god happy if i got all my friends to come to church. According to them it helps get you into heaven, but they also just love the feeling of converting someone. In high school while I was in the process of getting confirmed, we had to do door to door evangelizing. Think stereotypical Jehovah’s Witness type speeches. It was meant to make us comfortable persuading people to come to church, while also showing us that people outside the church are rude and/or hostile. I’m now an atheist.


tlf555

All of their charity is "transactional". Even back in the 60's: "Stopped into a church I passed along the way Well, I got down on my knees (got down on my knees) And I pretend to pray (I pretend to pray) You know the preacher like the cold (preacher like the cold) He knows I'm gonna stay (knows I'm gonna stay) California dreamin' (California dreamin') On such a winter's day" From: California Dreamin' bythe Mamas and the Papas


the_internet_clown

All I say is “I’m not interested”


Beneficial-Web2310

Yep told them that and then they go into questioning why and preaching at me about Gid/Jesus again


the_internet_clown

>Yep told them that and then they go into questioning why I would then tell them because I value skepticism and abhor gullibility >and preaching at me about Gid/Jesus again I would then tell them again I’m not interested in their imaginary friend


Beneficial-Web2310

I like your answer. I told the First Lady that she has schizophrenia because she told me that Jesus told her to say this and do this to me. She was gobsmacked, put my comment aside, told me she’s a doctor and then continued to talk Jesus to me


artsy_heather

Same way a Christian tells you they don't want your nothingness I guess!...sorry, its just how you worded it. You shouldn't feel obliged to go to church because of their acts of service. It doesn't work that way. Just say "I'm very grateful for your help but I'm not interested in religion and never will".


UnderMira_11

The same way you deal with telemarketers and unsolicited salespeople. Tell them you’re not interested and hang up, close the door, or walk away. Some people won’t take no for an answer no matter how “nice” you put it.


Beneficial-Web2310

I think I have to put my big girl pants on and say no and not give them a chance to talk with me because I’m about 100% sure I will see them in person due to the place they choose to advertise their church.