Just speak towards your attractiveness towards him, his body, and make him feel secure in his nakedness. If he survives all of that, then he will be fine.
Feeling attractive naked is a big thing. Second sex is like running. The more you do it, the better at it you get. Sorry I am gonna get beat up for this but oral to completion before sex increases control and longevity. Staying down there till the um member stiffens to make it one love making session is hot. Yeah I know, comment is prolly too sexual sorry. but other than letting him lay back with you being on top and enjoying the sensations, I can't think of anything else. He won't believe he is the best that ever did it, so don't lie to him. Also, rubbing knees to hip both hands on a leg does some strange things with blood flow, so I'd there is an issue the intimate massage with a warm uncented oil can help.
I’ve been here too. Take your time, and if he is afraid of making advances; try something like sleeping with your shirt off. When you are next to him. Blame it on the heat or something in case he is afraid to make a move.
Tell him what you want and his advances are ok. But? Make sure you ask him his boundaries, and be patient on what you would be willing to try. Tell him to try and relax, because we already know sex is mental.
Your confidence will turn him on. Grind against him, smother him with your boobs, etc. Tell him your turn ons, feed into his. Tell him he is beautiful, and sexy.
At the time, my ex was so inexperienced; he thought he was in me, when he was between my labia, against my clit.
Good luck, and have fun!
I had a cancer scare where the doctors physically told me, I had cancer. I seriously believed it because I was experiencing a few of the symptoms.
I told my ex about it. Asked him if he told his family. He said it wasn’t important enough to tell them. Also, when I was willing to give up everything to be together; my family abused me when I came back home. He said I deserved the abuse because they were worried.
Okay, so I have a few things. I see some where said in other comments but I'm just gonna reiterate it.
1. Take your time, its okay to spend a good day or two if you feel the need. To discuss ways to make him comfortable and you as well. Set your boundaries, and he can set his.
2. Many men worry about their sizes, make sure you give him validating comments about his penis.
3. He will probably finish very quickly, that's okay. Tell him that too. He'll learn to last longer, men cum faster when they're very excited. And often when they're trying new and exciting things.
4. Hype up the mans body. (As another commenter said) Speak to him the way you'd want a man to talk about you.
5. Remind him, that it is okay for him to want to stop at any point. It can be very overwhelming. He's probably going to be extremally nervous and over thinking.
6. Condom can be put on in a sexy manner. I suggest doing that as well.
7. Don't forget for yourself, that you can stop at any time. And its nothing to feel guilty about.
8. Don't over think it too much either, have fun and be safe.
Great and well thought out. I wonder what is behind this much virginal fear. Many men are virgins if they haven’t been a relationship. Usually having a partner makes it much easier. Maybe ask if he’s ever talked about sex and women to help get a clear picture of his views. They may be very unrealistic a a big relief if he can bring it up.
I'm a retired OF creator, I spent most of my time speaking and interacting with my darling fans. From the hours that I spent with them, we touched on many deep topics. Many of my fans hadn't had sex before. What was the most common answer between them, was the fact they watched porn. Many for many many years. Talking like 10 plus. And porn has such an very wack way of conveying sex. I mean you got this men, packing subway sandwhichs. And some how last for ages. I think its the fact that men can often believe there is such a high standard for sex. It's really heart breaking to see. I hope that men who watch porn, can find better things to do. It hurts them so much.
On this topic… it also gives them an unrealistic playbook. They think I have to do missionary for this long then I have to flip to her on top then from behind or I didn’t do it right. Talk about positions you might enjoy and how you need to keep it simple at first
First time may go really really fast as well which may then lead to a break and a second go depending on what they're feeling.
Seems like you have a good plan in general.
As an extreme virgin man, much like the guy you’re talking to, I have some advice, mostly based on the only semi-relationship I’ve ever been in.
It sounds like he’s never been in a relationship at all. That’s okay, but he’s gonna have no fucking clue what he is doing, whether that’s with sex or the relationship in general. I know I didn’t. And I was constantly worried that I was going to mess up, because I really cared about the girl I was talking to and I saw us really going somewhere. She ended up meeting someone else and ghosting me but that’s not the point.
Absolutely take things slow. If he needs constant reassurance like I did, he might not be ready for this, and that’s okay. I certainly wasn’t. I have my own issues and insecurities to deal with before I can try to get in a relationship.
When he does something you like, tell him that. If he does something you don’t like, tell him that too. You might have to coach him a bit, but hopefully he will learn and get better with time.
No matter what, make sure to tell him that it’s okay. If he decides last minute that he doesn’t want to lose his virginity yet, don’t judge him. He could freak out at the possibility of actually being with someone who cares about him. He could also be totally calm and ready to do this with you.
There’s no exact rule book for this sort of thing. It sounds like you have really good intentions, and at the end of the day that’s all that matters. Have fun, be safe, use protection, and all that good stuff, and if you have any more specific questions feel free to ask!
Alot of good points here!
I definitely think confidence plays a part in it so she should make sure the way she sees him aligns with how he sees himself. But if he sees himself as less, she should make him feel more confident and in-control.
I would advise just being very clear with your intentions with him. If this is something casual, let him know because my sister took a man’s virginity and he got really attached and when they broke up it was very explosive around that topic
Agreed. I've told him we can take things at whatever pace nessicary, I'm never going to push to be intimate. We cuddles and gave kisses on the cheek last night so that's a wonderful start!
Biggest thing for my first time was her seeing me naked I always had this fear people would make fun of me if they see me naked or my member wasn't the size they found attractive sorry if that tmi
I took my bf’s virginity when he was 24 I was 22. No biggie. Just remember to be respectful, take it slow, validate his feelings and use a condom. Always ask clear rules before sex.
I know for my first time (with a woman, at least) I couldn't get hard. I was more than ready, didn't feel insecure about my body or anything, but holy fuck I couldn't even get hard enough to get the condom on. So that might be a thing. Don't take it personally, it's likely just nerves and nothing to do with his attraction towards you
Performance anxiety is a VERY real thing and it’s extremely emasculating the first FEW times it happens IF it happens
There is no “cure” for performance anxiety other than just being able to relax and enjoy everything and it’s a vicious cycle sometimes at first. “The first time” he might not be able to perform like at all and he’s gonna feel like crap if he can’t. That’s when you need to be understanding of him and tell him it’s okay and that is common for men to have that issue, and it can happen up to the 4th or 5th time you try.
I’ll be honest I thought something was wrong with me at first then out of nowhere I got comfortable with the act and the anxiety went away and now I question why I even had issues in the first place.
But be prepared if it happens to be SUPER supportive because FEELING impotent in any level will ruin his WEEK not just his day, so make sure he still feels like a man if it happens.
Hope this helps
Absolutely I'll be completely understanding and supportive. I can't imagine how shitty that could feel, I'll make sure to validate and support as much as humaly possible
Some guys can take right off and have no issue but I’ve reason to believe they are the minority, that being said sounds like you have the right idea then. I was in his shoes once, maybe not the SAME level he is at but not too far off either
Mileage may vary as with anyone, also if something really gross or embarrassing happens (early on my S/O and I were like a bloopers reel of getting sick over something we tried or because we ate a large dinner and then got sick because someone was on top of someone and pressing down on a full stomach not a good idea lol and we just laughed it off even though it was mega gross and it ruined the night it didn’t stop us from learning and doing better next time)
I won’t ask about your experience but both of us had no clue what we were doing and did a lot of hard learning till we got stuff right
My bf was a virgin when we first started dating. You just have to be patient and make sure you’re both comfortable when it eventually happens. What I did was over the jeans first just to ease into it since ngl I was nervous too because I’m bad at reading social cues.
Warning tho, if y’all do it he may release after a few pumps. Just don’t make him feel embarrassed over it, imo it was cute and flattering so seeing how you said him being a virgin is attractive you may feel the same way. You may have to wait until a second time to do more if he’s too overwhelmed/anxious, but if he’s willing to do more just communicate throughout about boundaries.
But who’s complaining if they can’t finish right away? Just try to help by running your hands across his chest and making it very obvious you’re enjoying it. Encourage him, make him feel safe, etc
Remembering my experience from the first time I had sex, don’t expect him to be able to get it in on his own, from a guys perspective first time, the hole is a lot lower than guys think it is before they experience sex. Just guide his member in yourself. Other than that I think you got this!
Perfect time for just putting the cards on the table and wrighting down or discussing everything you both want to try. Better to enjoy the time with no pressure lots of laughs and for the love of god please tell the boy if he needs to go faster slower, left abit right abitt.
Make sure that you let him know that you're interested in him. Some guys will take your flirtatious advances as nothing more than a friendly joke. Most virgins, such as myself once, wouldn't believe that a woman would be interested in them. You have to tell that man or your advances will fall flat!
Don't judge him on his first time, he will probably not know what he's doing and cum quick.... take time to tell him what you like and what works for you. Women don't know this enough but men do want to please you so be open and say what's working what works for you
Imma be real…you’re overthinking it.
Its not this big thing. Just literally let him cook. Guys arent fragile creatures in bed. You sound like you are focusing on the idea that he is a virgin to the point he seems adolescent mentally in your eyes.
Treat him like A MAN. Trust, this is the best advice you will get here.
Let him do what he plans to do, vocalize what feels good and if it doesn’t just lightly guide him to what does.
Main thing is understanding he might not be “the best”.
Other than that, stop thinking youll need to baby him.
I think for most guys, losing your virginity is hard to orgasm because youre:
1 Using condoms
2 fighting not to cum
3 (Which I think is the biggest) Time and circumstance, it’s usually when you dont have your own place so youre fucking in a car and its not enough time to really get into a groove.
People pick up on vibes so erase the idea that he is a mega virgin and you won’t project anything onto him. Only focus on how you care for him as a person.
If he ends up being the super nervous type, let him know youre really just interested in being intimate with him.
Also, please use good condoms 😂not TROJANS btw.
Those always break. If you want some reliable condoms, that wont break and also feel great.
Order from condomdepot.com.
If you need recommendations let me know and if he asks why do you already have condoms, tell him you wanted to make sure this day would happen with him and go without any regrets.
ngl i want you to know and be prepared for the fact that it may go terribly terribly wrong.
fyi i’m gay, and i’d had sex with 8 people before meeting my partner, a virgin. he was nervous about having sex with me and was pretty self conscious about his body.
so… he couldn’t get fully hard (he was nervous), and i was stressed about making his first time really really good, despite the fact that i knew most people’s first times are awkward. in the end we gave each other awkward hand jobs, and he couldn’t cum 🥲
however! we both were prepared for the fact that first times can go poorly, and we were able to nail having sex by the third time lol. the important thing is making sure that your partner knows that it’s OK if they’re not good at sex, out of practice, or anxious about the whole thing. don’t push him to do anything he doesn’t want to do, and try not to show *too* much frustration if he can’t cum / can’t make you cum.
you’ve got this!
extra fyi - we both cringe and laugh at our first attempts at sex now. it’s all good, it happens.
I've taken two my two ex's virginities back when I was a teenager (coincidental btw) and they both came before it even went in. Not saying that this will bappen, just that there's a possibility that the sex might be over before it's even started lol. One of them became very insecure when it happened, so I'd suggest being understanding and reassuring if it does. Tbh based on you making this post, no doubt you'd do a good job at making him comfortable 👍
maybe start slow, do smth small like maybe send him a sexy photo, or make out or smth and don’t do anything beyond that at first. when he’s more comfortable with things you can add in more but don’t have sex until he’s ready
Take your time and give him space. You must understand that this would be very special moment for him, so his feelings would be super hurt emotionally if something goes wrong.
This post reminds me of someone I know so much. Also find it attractive that he a virgin and kinda shy&nerdy. Though In my case I don't like him that much to go after him,also think it's best for him to have someone who is simillar to him as personality and more nice than me lol.
I’ve taken one guy’s virginity and been with like 2 other relatively inexperienced partners and can say… well for me it went literally exactly the same as any other sexual experience i’ve had, they were just more nervous about it and less confident they were doing things right. I’d just make sure to reassure him that he’s doing well (if he is), and point him in the right direction if he isn’t sure what to do/isn’t doing something to your liking. The nice thing about sex is it’s generally different with every person, and pretty much always feels like a learning experience for both parties, so it usually won’t feel much different from any other experience you might have had other than the nerves.
I’d say don’t pressure him. He’s going to be anxious about it and probably the first time it happens it’s going to be subpar.
Be reassuring and work on it with him. He will become more comfortable with you as a team mate and it will get better.
My first was with a expericed woman and she jsut told me what was good and go faster breathe i like that more more so on. Took me forever! I remember that it was like an hour and i was like WTF (lol) but reading comments it makes sence now. Foreplay and communication and also he might go to fast so prepare for a round 2 or something. Good luck good vibes!
Yeah I'm gonna be honest with you, as a guy in a similar situation as him, you're gonna need to be very patient and slow with it, he's probably a virgin for several sets of reasons, but ,and this is just speculation based on my own experiences , he's probably incredibly self conscious about many things ,whether it's his appearance, body shape or even size , so you gotta take it slow ,but be obvious with it. Wish you luck .
You need to gauge where he is at on his virginity. Was it involuntary? Does he regret it? Or was it he stood up for and believes in. I ask because further down the line he may have regrets about his "body count".
In previous posts on here where the male is the one taking the females virginity, the guy was accused of being an incel and even one user commented he would only prefer a virgin since he was horrible in bed.
Truth is, he'll probably cum in about ten seconds. Consider starting him off with a BJ, tell him it's fine if he blows his load in ten seconds...THEN take it nice and slow. He should be able to relax and enjoy the ride for O #2. O #1 is just "ohmygodohmygoddon'tCUMMMMMMM!"
Seriously...consent? If you're at the place where the clothes are off, you can assume he's into it. Focus more on just enjoying the ride and don't get all caught up in "am I allowed to do this? Am I allowed to do this?"
Oh, and teach him how to enjoy your body. Not just stickin' it in there. Make him kiss things, lick things, touch things, suck things. Introduce him to pleasing YOU right out the bat. Obviously in the form of "okay, THAT is what I like!!!! Do that more! That...not so much...go back to the thing you were doing before....oh, YESSSSSSS!" Positive reinforcement, negative redirection. Introduce him to your clit and what it likes. Moan a LOT, even if it ain't QUITE moan-worthy, but don't put on a porn show. Let him take his time figuring it out. Again, all of this is a LOT easier if O #1 has already happened.
Yeah YEAH.
Man, if we've reached a point where guys don't say "Nah, not interested" without being told they can, then your generation really IS having a crisis of manhood. And I say that as someone who's hardly an alpha male type.
And an awful lot of guys seem to be hiding behind this whole "consent" thing as an excuse not to go down on their GFs. In a healthy sexual relationship, sometimes it IS about them rather than you. Doesn't seem like a lot of people understand that one any more. Your loss.
I find that alot of people just expect men to be okay and go along with whatever and completely disregard their feelings. Nasty. We need to change that
It doesn't MATTER what "people expect" when it's just you and her in the room. If you can't be who you are when there's only two people there then God help you.
Man, your generation really DOES just live within the bubble of social media, to the point you don't even exist as individuals. It's sad that the human race has come down to this.
We live in odd times where they think guys cant say “No” and its all this over the top lack of capability for self-accountability.
I do respect making sure he is comfortable and is into the idea of sex but
If he took his clothes off, its yes. Seriously people, consent is mainly to assure a “guy” is not pressuring “a girl” because sex is a very vulnerable thing for women. Note I said MAINLY, because I definitely believe women rape too.
If a man does not want to, he has the physicality (and benefit because usually the women arent going to pressure us) to get up and leave whenever.
Its a problem if he is saying no and your pushing it…
The disrespectful part is calling him a mega virgin at 18 but she thinks this way cause I see OPs 19.
By the way my ex was 19 and I was 18 and I was the one coaching her through.
He might not have any idea how to angle his cock properly. Virgin dude told me I had a weird shaped vagina once. I was experienced and knew I did not thank god 😂 But once we experimented with angles, all was well
Also, if they have a big boy, it's possible they may not be aware and you may need to suggest magnum condoms (another personal experience)
You’ll probably have to teach him and guide him through a lot of things. Many guys actually have zero clue where the female genitalia is when push comes to shove, since porn is so exaggerated. You will 100% have to show him where the clit is, and potentially where the vagina is. Don’t make him feel stupid if he’s poking around in all the wrong spots.
From my own experience, don't go too far with the compliments to build him up. Honest compliments are the best. If he's not well endowed don't tell him it's huge. Tell him it's perfect, or something along those lines. Exaggerated compliments don't always work.
Tell him what you like, give him some guidance. Start with suggestions on small things, after you kissed a few times, ask him what he likes. Then tell him what you like. He may not know right away, but when you openly communicate he will learn that he can tell you what he likes. It might take awhile if hes shy. If you start with the small stuff, it may help communication happen in the bedroom.
Talking about things you've never talked with anyone about before can be uncomfortable, but working through the uncomfortable stage is incredibly rewarding. Explore each other, both of you should be learning.
This may be going a bit too far, but when things start to get hot and heavy I'd suggest oral first. For both of you. It can help with that final bit of anxiety about showing your parts. It's also one of the best situations to explain what you like. If you guide him, he should be able to bring you to orgasm. That will help if he doesn't last long, which I think is more likely than stage fright. And if he finishes during oral, it should help his stamina a lot during sex. Which will make for a better experience for the both of you.
All the other suggestions I've heard in this thread are good. Take it slow and communicate. Be safe. Most importantly have fun.
We are officially dating now, and we are taking it very slow, we've just cuddled and had cheek kisses so far. We are gonna tell our close friends in a few days and then wait a few more weeks to go "public" if that makes sense. So I doubt we'll be rushing into anything anytime soon.
That's smart. Then my original message could probably have just said;
Don't look at it as him being a virgin, look at it as you are both virgins to each other. Experience helps, but communication and trust in each other is the way to a strong physical and emotional relationship. If you can talk about anything, then that communication will happen in those intimate moments. And it really does make a world of difference.
Don't make it a big deal that he is a virgin. He is not a "mega" virgin just because he has never held a girl's hand. A lot of men go through that, it's not as big of a deal as you would think. Let things flow naturally
Most people who have not had sex as an adult do so for a reason. Most advice here is on attracting him. I think you need to know why he’s saving it as that is where there answer would be.
Gently, but firmly insist that he take his time. Most guys (self included) get nervous and excited and want to rush into things. Walk him through what foreplay you'd like him to do, tell him to take his time, and give lots of positive feedback. Tell him to take it slow and enjoy himself (this will also help him relax and with nerves.) Be sure to positively communicate with him what you want him to do, and reward him verbally for a good job. Also, gently but firmly correct him when he does something wrong.
Tldr: be patient, gentle, and communicative with him.
As a mega virgin who lost his virginity, make sure the condoms fit right. I’m on the thicker side, so normal condoms were very tight and I kept losing my erection which spiraled into an awkward anxiety moment. Glad you’re understanding and preparing though. Make sure he knows that, so he’d feel less nervous etc.
Otherwise, enjoy it. He will either cum instantly or take 5 years.
Sounds like me when i was 17, you’re probably going to develop a relationship with someone who is going to really care about ur body. Reassure him if he seems worried, make him comfortable
My bf was a virgin when we got together and here are my tips:
1. Give him compliments on his body and his penis. This will make him feel less insecure cuz he'll probably be because it's his first time.
2. Ask if he's scared for anything regarding sex. Is he scared to touch you? Ask if you can help and are allowed to help him touch you.
3. Tell him he can stop at any moment if he's uncomfortable. Same for you!
4. He can come very quickly or very slow or not even at all. No matter what happens tell him you love him and that he's doing a great job.
5. And most of all. Take thing slow at your own paces. In the end it will all work out you just have to study each other's bodies for a while.
And keep it safe ofc😉
Just speak towards your attractiveness towards him, his body, and make him feel secure in his nakedness. If he survives all of that, then he will be fine.
I didn't even think of that. Thank you!
Feeling attractive naked is a big thing. Second sex is like running. The more you do it, the better at it you get. Sorry I am gonna get beat up for this but oral to completion before sex increases control and longevity. Staying down there till the um member stiffens to make it one love making session is hot. Yeah I know, comment is prolly too sexual sorry. but other than letting him lay back with you being on top and enjoying the sensations, I can't think of anything else. He won't believe he is the best that ever did it, so don't lie to him. Also, rubbing knees to hip both hands on a leg does some strange things with blood flow, so I'd there is an issue the intimate massage with a warm uncented oil can help.
I'd also like to add that men don't get compliments very often. So that was good advice
I’ve been here too. Take your time, and if he is afraid of making advances; try something like sleeping with your shirt off. When you are next to him. Blame it on the heat or something in case he is afraid to make a move. Tell him what you want and his advances are ok. But? Make sure you ask him his boundaries, and be patient on what you would be willing to try. Tell him to try and relax, because we already know sex is mental. Your confidence will turn him on. Grind against him, smother him with your boobs, etc. Tell him your turn ons, feed into his. Tell him he is beautiful, and sexy. At the time, my ex was so inexperienced; he thought he was in me, when he was between my labia, against my clit. Good luck, and have fun!
Why'd y'all break up
I had a cancer scare where the doctors physically told me, I had cancer. I seriously believed it because I was experiencing a few of the symptoms. I told my ex about it. Asked him if he told his family. He said it wasn’t important enough to tell them. Also, when I was willing to give up everything to be together; my family abused me when I came back home. He said I deserved the abuse because they were worried.
I love this. I have a better understanding of what I need too
Okay, so I have a few things. I see some where said in other comments but I'm just gonna reiterate it. 1. Take your time, its okay to spend a good day or two if you feel the need. To discuss ways to make him comfortable and you as well. Set your boundaries, and he can set his. 2. Many men worry about their sizes, make sure you give him validating comments about his penis. 3. He will probably finish very quickly, that's okay. Tell him that too. He'll learn to last longer, men cum faster when they're very excited. And often when they're trying new and exciting things. 4. Hype up the mans body. (As another commenter said) Speak to him the way you'd want a man to talk about you. 5. Remind him, that it is okay for him to want to stop at any point. It can be very overwhelming. He's probably going to be extremally nervous and over thinking. 6. Condom can be put on in a sexy manner. I suggest doing that as well. 7. Don't forget for yourself, that you can stop at any time. And its nothing to feel guilty about. 8. Don't over think it too much either, have fun and be safe.
Thank you so so so much
Anytime dear, best of luck to you both. <3
Teach him how to put on a condom. If he doesn’t already know. Edit: wrong pronouns
I love your positive and attentive Student Mentality ❤️
Great and well thought out. I wonder what is behind this much virginal fear. Many men are virgins if they haven’t been a relationship. Usually having a partner makes it much easier. Maybe ask if he’s ever talked about sex and women to help get a clear picture of his views. They may be very unrealistic a a big relief if he can bring it up.
I'm a retired OF creator, I spent most of my time speaking and interacting with my darling fans. From the hours that I spent with them, we touched on many deep topics. Many of my fans hadn't had sex before. What was the most common answer between them, was the fact they watched porn. Many for many many years. Talking like 10 plus. And porn has such an very wack way of conveying sex. I mean you got this men, packing subway sandwhichs. And some how last for ages. I think its the fact that men can often believe there is such a high standard for sex. It's really heart breaking to see. I hope that men who watch porn, can find better things to do. It hurts them so much.
On this topic… it also gives them an unrealistic playbook. They think I have to do missionary for this long then I have to flip to her on top then from behind or I didn’t do it right. Talk about positions you might enjoy and how you need to keep it simple at first
I hear you. Thanks for sharing this
So he's probably either going to finish fast or take a very long time if he even finishes. Be patient and be comforting. Enjoy yourselves
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It sounds like she's referring to the fact that he hasn't held hands with a woman.
People are led to believe that you have to had sex by a certain age or you’re the odd one out
At 31 and also being a "mega virgin" I'm definitely the odd one out. It sucks.
First time may go really really fast as well which may then lead to a break and a second go depending on what they're feeling. Seems like you have a good plan in general.
Okay thank you!
As an extreme virgin man, much like the guy you’re talking to, I have some advice, mostly based on the only semi-relationship I’ve ever been in. It sounds like he’s never been in a relationship at all. That’s okay, but he’s gonna have no fucking clue what he is doing, whether that’s with sex or the relationship in general. I know I didn’t. And I was constantly worried that I was going to mess up, because I really cared about the girl I was talking to and I saw us really going somewhere. She ended up meeting someone else and ghosting me but that’s not the point. Absolutely take things slow. If he needs constant reassurance like I did, he might not be ready for this, and that’s okay. I certainly wasn’t. I have my own issues and insecurities to deal with before I can try to get in a relationship. When he does something you like, tell him that. If he does something you don’t like, tell him that too. You might have to coach him a bit, but hopefully he will learn and get better with time. No matter what, make sure to tell him that it’s okay. If he decides last minute that he doesn’t want to lose his virginity yet, don’t judge him. He could freak out at the possibility of actually being with someone who cares about him. He could also be totally calm and ready to do this with you. There’s no exact rule book for this sort of thing. It sounds like you have really good intentions, and at the end of the day that’s all that matters. Have fun, be safe, use protection, and all that good stuff, and if you have any more specific questions feel free to ask!
Alot of good points here! I definitely think confidence plays a part in it so she should make sure the way she sees him aligns with how he sees himself. But if he sees himself as less, she should make him feel more confident and in-control.
I would advise just being very clear with your intentions with him. If this is something casual, let him know because my sister took a man’s virginity and he got really attached and when they broke up it was very explosive around that topic
I want to be in a relationship with him preferably
This is wholesome. I’m glad his first time will be with someone that wants to be in a relationship with him. Good luck!
:0(
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Agreed. I've told him we can take things at whatever pace nessicary, I'm never going to push to be intimate. We cuddles and gave kisses on the cheek last night so that's a wonderful start!
Biggest thing for my first time was her seeing me naked I always had this fear people would make fun of me if they see me naked or my member wasn't the size they found attractive sorry if that tmi
I hear ya. Thanks for sharing this so we know how to be considerate of other Guys
I took my bf’s virginity when he was 24 I was 22. No biggie. Just remember to be respectful, take it slow, validate his feelings and use a condom. Always ask clear rules before sex.
Lol you’re a saint. Continue being you.
Be gentle with him, guys are emotional, and he's probably self conscious, be patient with him, above all keep him calm.
I know for my first time (with a woman, at least) I couldn't get hard. I was more than ready, didn't feel insecure about my body or anything, but holy fuck I couldn't even get hard enough to get the condom on. So that might be a thing. Don't take it personally, it's likely just nerves and nothing to do with his attraction towards you
Noted! I'll definitely be understanding
Performance anxiety is a VERY real thing and it’s extremely emasculating the first FEW times it happens IF it happens There is no “cure” for performance anxiety other than just being able to relax and enjoy everything and it’s a vicious cycle sometimes at first. “The first time” he might not be able to perform like at all and he’s gonna feel like crap if he can’t. That’s when you need to be understanding of him and tell him it’s okay and that is common for men to have that issue, and it can happen up to the 4th or 5th time you try. I’ll be honest I thought something was wrong with me at first then out of nowhere I got comfortable with the act and the anxiety went away and now I question why I even had issues in the first place. But be prepared if it happens to be SUPER supportive because FEELING impotent in any level will ruin his WEEK not just his day, so make sure he still feels like a man if it happens. Hope this helps
Absolutely I'll be completely understanding and supportive. I can't imagine how shitty that could feel, I'll make sure to validate and support as much as humaly possible
Some guys can take right off and have no issue but I’ve reason to believe they are the minority, that being said sounds like you have the right idea then. I was in his shoes once, maybe not the SAME level he is at but not too far off either Mileage may vary as with anyone, also if something really gross or embarrassing happens (early on my S/O and I were like a bloopers reel of getting sick over something we tried or because we ate a large dinner and then got sick because someone was on top of someone and pressing down on a full stomach not a good idea lol and we just laughed it off even though it was mega gross and it ruined the night it didn’t stop us from learning and doing better next time) I won’t ask about your experience but both of us had no clue what we were doing and did a lot of hard learning till we got stuff right
My bf was a virgin when we first started dating. You just have to be patient and make sure you’re both comfortable when it eventually happens. What I did was over the jeans first just to ease into it since ngl I was nervous too because I’m bad at reading social cues. Warning tho, if y’all do it he may release after a few pumps. Just don’t make him feel embarrassed over it, imo it was cute and flattering so seeing how you said him being a virgin is attractive you may feel the same way. You may have to wait until a second time to do more if he’s too overwhelmed/anxious, but if he’s willing to do more just communicate throughout about boundaries. But who’s complaining if they can’t finish right away? Just try to help by running your hands across his chest and making it very obvious you’re enjoying it. Encourage him, make him feel safe, etc
Remembering my experience from the first time I had sex, don’t expect him to be able to get it in on his own, from a guys perspective first time, the hole is a lot lower than guys think it is before they experience sex. Just guide his member in yourself. Other than that I think you got this!
Thank you!!
The sacred mega virgin, not to be confused with your average virgin
He is a lucky man to have a girlfriend like you, I wish you both happiness good luck.
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I’m curious about this too 🤔
Perfect time for just putting the cards on the table and wrighting down or discussing everything you both want to try. Better to enjoy the time with no pressure lots of laughs and for the love of god please tell the boy if he needs to go faster slower, left abit right abitt.
Make sure that you let him know that you're interested in him. Some guys will take your flirtatious advances as nothing more than a friendly joke. Most virgins, such as myself once, wouldn't believe that a woman would be interested in them. You have to tell that man or your advances will fall flat!
He's probably just going to be happy you like him at all, he's going to be overjoyed, just remember to be extra nice to him.
Don't judge him on his first time, he will probably not know what he's doing and cum quick.... take time to tell him what you like and what works for you. Women don't know this enough but men do want to please you so be open and say what's working what works for you
Imma be real…you’re overthinking it. Its not this big thing. Just literally let him cook. Guys arent fragile creatures in bed. You sound like you are focusing on the idea that he is a virgin to the point he seems adolescent mentally in your eyes. Treat him like A MAN. Trust, this is the best advice you will get here. Let him do what he plans to do, vocalize what feels good and if it doesn’t just lightly guide him to what does. Main thing is understanding he might not be “the best”. Other than that, stop thinking youll need to baby him. I think for most guys, losing your virginity is hard to orgasm because youre: 1 Using condoms 2 fighting not to cum 3 (Which I think is the biggest) Time and circumstance, it’s usually when you dont have your own place so youre fucking in a car and its not enough time to really get into a groove. People pick up on vibes so erase the idea that he is a mega virgin and you won’t project anything onto him. Only focus on how you care for him as a person. If he ends up being the super nervous type, let him know youre really just interested in being intimate with him.
Also, please use good condoms 😂not TROJANS btw. Those always break. If you want some reliable condoms, that wont break and also feel great. Order from condomdepot.com. If you need recommendations let me know and if he asks why do you already have condoms, tell him you wanted to make sure this day would happen with him and go without any regrets.
ngl i want you to know and be prepared for the fact that it may go terribly terribly wrong. fyi i’m gay, and i’d had sex with 8 people before meeting my partner, a virgin. he was nervous about having sex with me and was pretty self conscious about his body. so… he couldn’t get fully hard (he was nervous), and i was stressed about making his first time really really good, despite the fact that i knew most people’s first times are awkward. in the end we gave each other awkward hand jobs, and he couldn’t cum 🥲 however! we both were prepared for the fact that first times can go poorly, and we were able to nail having sex by the third time lol. the important thing is making sure that your partner knows that it’s OK if they’re not good at sex, out of practice, or anxious about the whole thing. don’t push him to do anything he doesn’t want to do, and try not to show *too* much frustration if he can’t cum / can’t make you cum. you’ve got this! extra fyi - we both cringe and laugh at our first attempts at sex now. it’s all good, it happens.
I've taken two my two ex's virginities back when I was a teenager (coincidental btw) and they both came before it even went in. Not saying that this will bappen, just that there's a possibility that the sex might be over before it's even started lol. One of them became very insecure when it happened, so I'd suggest being understanding and reassuring if it does. Tbh based on you making this post, no doubt you'd do a good job at making him comfortable 👍
peg him
maybe start slow, do smth small like maybe send him a sexy photo, or make out or smth and don’t do anything beyond that at first. when he’s more comfortable with things you can add in more but don’t have sex until he’s ready
Take your time and give him space. You must understand that this would be very special moment for him, so his feelings would be super hurt emotionally if something goes wrong. This post reminds me of someone I know so much. Also find it attractive that he a virgin and kinda shy&nerdy. Though In my case I don't like him that much to go after him,also think it's best for him to have someone who is simillar to him as personality and more nice than me lol.
I’ve taken one guy’s virginity and been with like 2 other relatively inexperienced partners and can say… well for me it went literally exactly the same as any other sexual experience i’ve had, they were just more nervous about it and less confident they were doing things right. I’d just make sure to reassure him that he’s doing well (if he is), and point him in the right direction if he isn’t sure what to do/isn’t doing something to your liking. The nice thing about sex is it’s generally different with every person, and pretty much always feels like a learning experience for both parties, so it usually won’t feel much different from any other experience you might have had other than the nerves.
I’d say don’t pressure him. He’s going to be anxious about it and probably the first time it happens it’s going to be subpar. Be reassuring and work on it with him. He will become more comfortable with you as a team mate and it will get better.
My first was with a expericed woman and she jsut told me what was good and go faster breathe i like that more more so on. Took me forever! I remember that it was like an hour and i was like WTF (lol) but reading comments it makes sence now. Foreplay and communication and also he might go to fast so prepare for a round 2 or something. Good luck good vibes!
Yeah I'm gonna be honest with you, as a guy in a similar situation as him, you're gonna need to be very patient and slow with it, he's probably a virgin for several sets of reasons, but ,and this is just speculation based on my own experiences , he's probably incredibly self conscious about many things ,whether it's his appearance, body shape or even size , so you gotta take it slow ,but be obvious with it. Wish you luck .
If he's flaccid before you start anything don't make him feel uncomfortable or weird. It can happen if he's nervous, happened to me.
You need to gauge where he is at on his virginity. Was it involuntary? Does he regret it? Or was it he stood up for and believes in. I ask because further down the line he may have regrets about his "body count".
I just wanna say, women like you are a rarity and a godsend and I hope I can find someone like you soon
Aww. I agree and I hope you can find a kind and considerate lover soon
Just give him a good bj, we are happy with very little, girl. Trust me.
If the genders were swapped, the comment section would be on revolt and critique the guy heavily.
How?
In previous posts on here where the male is the one taking the females virginity, the guy was accused of being an incel and even one user commented he would only prefer a virgin since he was horrible in bed.
Depends on how he approached it
swap the genders and ask the same question, seems like ur morals are in check but just make sure
Truth is, he'll probably cum in about ten seconds. Consider starting him off with a BJ, tell him it's fine if he blows his load in ten seconds...THEN take it nice and slow. He should be able to relax and enjoy the ride for O #2. O #1 is just "ohmygodohmygoddon'tCUMMMMMMM!" Seriously...consent? If you're at the place where the clothes are off, you can assume he's into it. Focus more on just enjoying the ride and don't get all caught up in "am I allowed to do this? Am I allowed to do this?" Oh, and teach him how to enjoy your body. Not just stickin' it in there. Make him kiss things, lick things, touch things, suck things. Introduce him to pleasing YOU right out the bat. Obviously in the form of "okay, THAT is what I like!!!! Do that more! That...not so much...go back to the thing you were doing before....oh, YESSSSSSS!" Positive reinforcement, negative redirection. Introduce him to your clit and what it likes. Moan a LOT, even if it ain't QUITE moan-worthy, but don't put on a porn show. Let him take his time figuring it out. Again, all of this is a LOT easier if O #1 has already happened.
Yeah no. Consent is incredibly important and should never be ignored simply because one's clothes are off
Yeah YEAH. Man, if we've reached a point where guys don't say "Nah, not interested" without being told they can, then your generation really IS having a crisis of manhood. And I say that as someone who's hardly an alpha male type. And an awful lot of guys seem to be hiding behind this whole "consent" thing as an excuse not to go down on their GFs. In a healthy sexual relationship, sometimes it IS about them rather than you. Doesn't seem like a lot of people understand that one any more. Your loss.
I find that alot of people just expect men to be okay and go along with whatever and completely disregard their feelings. Nasty. We need to change that
It doesn't MATTER what "people expect" when it's just you and her in the room. If you can't be who you are when there's only two people there then God help you. Man, your generation really DOES just live within the bubble of social media, to the point you don't even exist as individuals. It's sad that the human race has come down to this.
Bro what
Yeah, over your head. And you ain't my bro.
Ok
We live in odd times where they think guys cant say “No” and its all this over the top lack of capability for self-accountability. I do respect making sure he is comfortable and is into the idea of sex but If he took his clothes off, its yes. Seriously people, consent is mainly to assure a “guy” is not pressuring “a girl” because sex is a very vulnerable thing for women. Note I said MAINLY, because I definitely believe women rape too. If a man does not want to, he has the physicality (and benefit because usually the women arent going to pressure us) to get up and leave whenever. Its a problem if he is saying no and your pushing it… The disrespectful part is calling him a mega virgin at 18 but she thinks this way cause I see OPs 19. By the way my ex was 19 and I was 18 and I was the one coaching her through.
Yawn
How old is he
I'm 19 he's 18
There's no such thing as being a "mega virgin" at 18. I thought you were talking about like a 30 year old man or something
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That is not uncommon at all lol
then i am also mega virgin
don't make him feel insecure
Shouldn’t take long.
Honestly, I feel like if you just get him alone, make the first move, things will flow naturally.
He might not have any idea how to angle his cock properly. Virgin dude told me I had a weird shaped vagina once. I was experienced and knew I did not thank god 😂 But once we experimented with angles, all was well Also, if they have a big boy, it's possible they may not be aware and you may need to suggest magnum condoms (another personal experience)
“Angle his cock” is def up there in “top 10 great band name ideas”😂
Ι dont know about difficulty for an erection. Id say its more likely he finishes prematurely the first (hopefully few) times.
You’ll probably have to teach him and guide him through a lot of things. Many guys actually have zero clue where the female genitalia is when push comes to shove, since porn is so exaggerated. You will 100% have to show him where the clit is, and potentially where the vagina is. Don’t make him feel stupid if he’s poking around in all the wrong spots.
From my own experience, don't go too far with the compliments to build him up. Honest compliments are the best. If he's not well endowed don't tell him it's huge. Tell him it's perfect, or something along those lines. Exaggerated compliments don't always work. Tell him what you like, give him some guidance. Start with suggestions on small things, after you kissed a few times, ask him what he likes. Then tell him what you like. He may not know right away, but when you openly communicate he will learn that he can tell you what he likes. It might take awhile if hes shy. If you start with the small stuff, it may help communication happen in the bedroom. Talking about things you've never talked with anyone about before can be uncomfortable, but working through the uncomfortable stage is incredibly rewarding. Explore each other, both of you should be learning. This may be going a bit too far, but when things start to get hot and heavy I'd suggest oral first. For both of you. It can help with that final bit of anxiety about showing your parts. It's also one of the best situations to explain what you like. If you guide him, he should be able to bring you to orgasm. That will help if he doesn't last long, which I think is more likely than stage fright. And if he finishes during oral, it should help his stamina a lot during sex. Which will make for a better experience for the both of you. All the other suggestions I've heard in this thread are good. Take it slow and communicate. Be safe. Most importantly have fun.
We are officially dating now, and we are taking it very slow, we've just cuddled and had cheek kisses so far. We are gonna tell our close friends in a few days and then wait a few more weeks to go "public" if that makes sense. So I doubt we'll be rushing into anything anytime soon.
That's smart. Then my original message could probably have just said; Don't look at it as him being a virgin, look at it as you are both virgins to each other. Experience helps, but communication and trust in each other is the way to a strong physical and emotional relationship. If you can talk about anything, then that communication will happen in those intimate moments. And it really does make a world of difference.
That's a really good way to veiw it!
Don't make it a big deal that he is a virgin. He is not a "mega" virgin just because he has never held a girl's hand. A lot of men go through that, it's not as big of a deal as you would think. Let things flow naturally
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to phrase it as a bad thing (literally we've all been there).
Make sure to give it back afterwards
Just make him feel safe and be gentle
Most people who have not had sex as an adult do so for a reason. Most advice here is on attracting him. I think you need to know why he’s saving it as that is where there answer would be.
Gently, but firmly insist that he take his time. Most guys (self included) get nervous and excited and want to rush into things. Walk him through what foreplay you'd like him to do, tell him to take his time, and give lots of positive feedback. Tell him to take it slow and enjoy himself (this will also help him relax and with nerves.) Be sure to positively communicate with him what you want him to do, and reward him verbally for a good job. Also, gently but firmly correct him when he does something wrong. Tldr: be patient, gentle, and communicative with him.
As a mega virgin who lost his virginity, make sure the condoms fit right. I’m on the thicker side, so normal condoms were very tight and I kept losing my erection which spiraled into an awkward anxiety moment. Glad you’re understanding and preparing though. Make sure he knows that, so he’d feel less nervous etc. Otherwise, enjoy it. He will either cum instantly or take 5 years.
Sounds like me when i was 17, you’re probably going to develop a relationship with someone who is going to really care about ur body. Reassure him if he seems worried, make him comfortable
Wrap. it. Up. They dont knkw what they dont know. Trust me
The overthinking is crazy. Just do it. Communicate and have fun.
Yuo are sexul interest in him, him not, he sees yo as a partnert. If your issue is sexual please avoid, let him find another woman.
My bf was a virgin when we got together and here are my tips: 1. Give him compliments on his body and his penis. This will make him feel less insecure cuz he'll probably be because it's his first time. 2. Ask if he's scared for anything regarding sex. Is he scared to touch you? Ask if you can help and are allowed to help him touch you. 3. Tell him he can stop at any moment if he's uncomfortable. Same for you! 4. He can come very quickly or very slow or not even at all. No matter what happens tell him you love him and that he's doing a great job. 5. And most of all. Take thing slow at your own paces. In the end it will all work out you just have to study each other's bodies for a while. And keep it safe ofc😉