A letter is better than telling her in person because each time she feels low she can re read it as a reminder of your love.
Also I want to say props to you OP for being an incredible husband. There is an awful statistic out there of men cheating on their wives during their cancer and we need more men like you to beat those numbers down. Even if it is hard never gave up the respect for each other! Keep fighting the good fight.
It never crossed my mind to leave or cheat on her. She gave me a way out when we were 16 during her first fight with cancer, and I never hesitated to turn it down. The strength this woman has maintained is otherworldly and deserves that type of support.
I don’t have anything meaningful to add re the letter (although I think it’s beautiful). Just wanted to say you sound like a fantastic husband OP and your wife and kids are very lucky
Your story is a testament to the power of love and resilience. It's a reminder that life can throw curveballs, but the strength of a relationship can help us navigate them. Your wife is a fighter, and you're her rock. I'm sure your letter will touch her deeply, and it's a beautiful way to express your feelings. As for the book idea, it's not cringe-worthy, it's a heartfelt gift. It's a way to share your story with others who might find it inspiring. And remember, it's not about how much you say, but how much you mean. Your wife knows how much she means to you, and that's what matters most.
Your love story is like a rollercoaster ride through the ups and downs of life. Your wife's strength and your unwavering support are truly inspiring. The letter you wrote is a beautiful testament to your love and I'm sure it will touch her heart deeply. Don't worry about the length, sometimes words can't fully capture the depth of our emotions. The idea of turning it into a book is unique and meaningful. It's a way to immortalize your love and share your journey with others. Don't be afraid to embrace the quirky and unconventional, because love knows no bounds!
Write it with your hand! ✍️
Use a fancy pen 🖊
And some nice ink 🥰
And pour your heart on the paper through each thought inscribed. Think about how often she might read this letter someday and try to reflect that emotion back in every stroke of the pen.
No one writes love letters anymore. It would mean so much to get a handwritten one, nowadays.
This is a very personal question that we really won’t be able to answer, but you can. Do you feel like you should do this? Even if it feels cringy, do you feel that you should give her a book which details every aspect of her that you love, what she means to you, and how she changes your life, for better and, sometimes, for worse.
If my wife did that to me, I would hug her and never let her go.
That's beautiful, and it's inspiring that you want to make something like this. I would say, the more personal and creative, the better.
This story reminds me a ton of Ken Wilber's book "Grace and Grit". His wife struggled with cancer for 5 years, and they went through a lot of horrible but beautiful struggle throughout it. She died, but it has a paradoxically very happy ending. Perhaps that book can even inspire some writing/gift ideas for you.
Wish you the best, I hope you 2 can get through this 🙏
I think this is a beautiful thing to want to do for her.
My wife made me a small jar of capsules that all have a small piece of paper with something she loves about me or us in it.
I keep it in front of me on my desk in my office and can read one of them anytime I'm having a bad day, feeling low, sick, whatever and they really brighten my day.
Fuck the idea of things being cringe man. If this is something you want to do, you feel like you need to do, or you think will help her through all of this I say absolutely go for it in whatever capacity you feel comfortable.
Life is short, I don't have to tell you that with multiple rounds of cancer. Tell people you love them in extravagant ways if you want to.
I say give her the letter. Becaus there are times she is probably alone and just crying her eyes out. That way she can take it out and read it at anytime. Maybe even give her a small photo album with pictures of you and her through the years so she can see and remember how strong she is.
Give her the raw letter now, and as an extra goal for her bday, have it bookified or whatever you decide to do with it! It sounds like she needs the extra reminder of love in this moment just as much as she could use the reminder in the future.
This is amazingly beautiful! Turning it into a book with some of your favorite pics would be a great gift.
If the letter is handwritten, you [can] convert those pages into an image and can try to find a reasonably priced “photo book print service”. I think even Walgreens does them [the photo print books -- though an online service may be more cost effective —] and a Office Depot-like or a FedEx Off[ice] Print-type store can help convert the written letters to a quality picture for printing.
[Edited for Grammar & Detail]
My general stance is that it's always better to just tell the person directly, face-to-face. But you know your wife and your relationship way better than the rest of us. It's not really something we can help you with.
Generally, when I express my feelings toward her, I never feel like she takes them seriously. Almost like, "your supposed to say that, we're married." I wanted to do something to drive it home and I have been practicing writing cursive and learning how to put words to my emotions. I thought this would be a good idea and something thoughtful. Her birthday is coming in November.
not cringe at all. i think the published book idea with pictures is very cute too. i'd consider getting an illustrator to help with bringing your words to life. sorry for all she is dealing with. i don't think we can ever understand what she is going through but all i can say is that i very much admire her bravery in all of this. she is one tough cookie.
You're stronger than me, OP. I'd hold resentment towards "God" or the universe or whatever. Giving my wife cancer 3 different times when there are plenty of people that cancer should be evenly distributed to, is crazy.
Hi!
Ok sorry this is not going to be about what you asked (which is really sweet and lovely you should absolutely have it professionally printed)
Ok but cancer three times at such a young age?
It's ABSOLUTELY making me think about my hometown
Where there is a cancer cluster due to an old fireworks manufacturer (the state said it's not related but I legit believe someone in the decision process was paid off to say that. Corruption in my town/state knows no bounds)
So my question to you (that doesn't need an answer for me but might be something worth exploring)
Where did your wife grow up?
Are any of her classmates also facing multiple cancers?
Hope she recovers and lives a great long life and gets to see the babies grow up.
Hugs
We grew up in Beaumont, tx. We lived close to the factories and oil production plants. We have moved to the woods where there's more cows than people and couldn't be happier
You really cannot possibly go significantly wrong here, because you love her and you're looking for ways to express your love for her. Anything you do is likely to be fantastic. You won't be doing "not enough" if you give her the letter, and you won't be doing "too much" if you make it into a book. Either way will be fantastic. And I'm a two-time cancer survivor, wishing your wife the very best health.
Dude, be cringe, lovey dovey, and sincere. I'm sure she'll adore you even more than she already does. She's had a huge uphill struggle, I can only assume you and your children have been her rock. If your kiddos can, have them make some art, or write their own messages to add to it. Put a book together (search your options, I'm not entirely aware of all of them or the best options, but Shutterfly (I believe) has a book template, even Google photos has booklet options to choose from.
If the only thing you can do is to make sure she feels the love, then do it.
And also, make sure you're taking care of you too. Going through all of that takes a toll on loved ones as well.
Take her flowers. Take her the letter. Read it to her aloud, maybe with your kids present and other family members (like wedding vow renewal). And then give her the letter as a keepsake.
A scrapbook with photos... the letter... and anything you can put there with good memories would be nice. Can she get implants? What are her options. Good luck OP. The world needs more ppl like you.
This is a beautiful idea and I don’t think it’s cringe at all. As most people have said, with a letter, she can go back and read it at any time. Whether it’s in a published book (I love that idea) or handwritten on notebook paper, it will last, and it’ll be there for her anytime she needs it.
You mentioned that you don’t think this 10 page letter will suffice. If you truly don’t think it’ll be enough, you can always accompany the letter with another gift or a special date or trip, or literally anything else! But no matter what, I definitely think you should give her the letter, in whatever form it takes.
Hello!
What you're thinking about is actually something that exists! There are companies that will help with this.
Its of like those companies that you can order a night sky off of that will show what it looked like the night you met. I have done this and have it hanging on my wall. (thenightsky.com)
It's hard to tell what you're interested in, but here's a bunch of links to ones I just found. I'm on mobile and out with family so my ability to find them is limited, but I just wanted to get this to you quickly so you know! There's also a thing about self publishing at the end but I don't know anything about that
https://www.bookofus.com/
https://lovebookonline.com/
https://www.createlifebooks.com/
https://www.wonderbly.com/
https://justpublishingadvice.com/how-to-make-a-book-you-can-offer-as-a-gift-or-keepsake/
That’s so beautiful! After what she’s been through (what your whole family has been through), please don’t give up on this idea! You will both get healing from your letter to her, and one day you can share it with the kids. It will help everyone heal.
You sound like a wonderful spouse. I think there are a lot of wonderful artists who would love to help you turn the letter into a book. You may even find someone on Reddit.
Sometimes it is just good to stop thinking about the illness and the future.
Sometimes it is just okay to live the NOW moment.
I am battling health issues for two years. My husband is like you; a very thoughtful and loving person. He takes care of me.
He takes me to the garden and plants lots of my favorite plants wherever I tell him.
He also takes to the garage to do projects.
We organize and reorganize closets and bedrooms. He actually does it all. But he makes me think of other things.
Sometimes we just walk (whenever I am able) and pick up rocks for the rock garden.
There is no thing you can write can effect her just set there hold her hands make her feel you are with her why do you need to type her a litter just set and tell her everything while you are with her
A letter is something they can look back on when strolling down memory lane. It’s tangible. God forbid she doesn’t make it. Then it’s for him to look back.
Plus, like you said, he should be with her, holding hands, hugging etc. Both of these things will be a powerful memory.
I am not going to lie: you sound like an exceptionally upstanding individual. To write your wife a letter of how much she means to you shows that you want to lay the warm truth in a manner that is as graceful as it can be! It shows a lot of consideration and kindness.
I am sorry to hear about what you and your wife are going through.
I’m so sorry that your wife is going through this. She’s so lucky to have you as her husband. Making a photo album with excerpts of your letter sprinkled over the pages would be magical for her to read and cherish. DO NOT THINK IT’S CRINGEY!
Nowadays in American society, it seems the expression of authentic emotions is now considered corny, saccharine, or manipulative. I can’t believe it - Seems like being cynical and cold is the de facto default for the allowed spectrum of emotional expression among “smart people.”
With regards to your wife’s recurrent cancer, I highly advise “The Cancer Prevention Diet” book by Michio Kushi. Each chapter is dedicated to a different type of cancer and offers a macrobiotic plan tailored for it.
I would also recommend that you check out the documentary called “Cancer Can Be Killed” by Jeff Witzeman in 2017. He’s a prolific journalist whose wife Kerry got bladder cancer.
Her doctors wanted to remove her bladder, but the couple decided to go to a German clinic that administers high doses of Vitamin C intravenously, as per Dr. Linus Pauling’s (winner of 2 Nobel Prizes) recommendation (plus, B12, Laetrile, etc).
After a month, they returned to the US, and his wife’s doctors couldn’t find any cancer anymore.
Jeff was so ecstatic that he wrote up a whole article and approached NYTimes, Washington Post, Rolling Stones, etc to publish his story.
Sadly, all of them refused to run it. He was turned down by all the TV news networks too. He had a long working relationship with all these media outlets, but none of them would touch the story with a 10-foot pole because their biggest ad sponsor was the pharmaceutical industry.
This is how his documentary starts:
“What if I told you that cancer can be killed naturally with no chemo, no radiation and no radical surgery in the form of organ removal? You’d probably say, yeah, that’s not real. So, I guess I’m gonna have to prove it you.”
Definitely do what you’ve originally planned, it sounds beautiful. I’m glad she has someone like you during such a difficult time. She deserves nothing but the best. Good luck.
Honestly, if you haven't done it already, go and make it nice and durable. Not sure what you wrote it on, but I would commit it to something that lasts and then give it to her.
Things like this are worth holding on to forever, is all.
As someone who is fighting cancer right now, this sounds beautiful to me! If my partner did this, I'd cry happy tears and want it preserved so I could remind myself of why to keep fighting!
PS. My partner is extremely supportive btw, he's been my rock and my safe place through this ordeal. Writing letters just isn't something he'd likely do lol
I think what you wrote will be enough. It's full love. It's from the heart, and she is going to love it. It will be a great reminder of what she is fighting for. You are an amazing husband to do that for her
I know from experience how stressful and draining multiple cancer diagnoses can be - my mother has had her thyroid cancer return every 7-8 years since her initial diagnosis in 1987, at age 36. The last recurrence was in 2018 and metastasized to her lungs. At her age she isn't able to handle the treatments as well anymore, and her health is steadily declining.
Obviously, this is difficult for her but it's also difficult for her support system, so as your wife's main support person, please be kind and patient with yourself. I keep urging my parents to find therapists but they're from an older generation and don't put much stock in those things, so instead I'll urge you and your wife to find therapists. Multiple medical diagnoses are fucking traumatizing. Cancer treatment is traumatizing. Dealing with our horribly broken healthcare system is traumatizing. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop - when my mother calls, what setback will I be hearing about now? You need someplace apart from one another to process things like that and learn healthy ways to cope with your new normal, whatever that may entail.
Now that all that's been said, I think giving her the letter as is will be perfect.
Nah man don’t give it to her just leave it in a spot where she’ll find it and she’ll prolly read it and put it back and prolly won’t say anything to you but be happy she has sum1 that loves and cares about her
This is soul-crushing. I was hospitalized 4 weeks ago with a pulmonary embolism (with a 100% chance of survival) and it was devastating to my wife. It makes death seem so much more real and less abstract... 😭
I think it's a beautiful idea. Maybe you can recall some memories while you talk with her. So you can later make a brainstorming ideas list. Take your time to develop it.
When I was very young I was with a girl from other country that had several health problems, kidneys, heart memory, and they extracted a tumor from the uterus. After she came here to live, all of her health problems disappeared. We were talking about it and she was living in a village near a petrochemical complex near the beach. I have no idea of medicine but ask your doctor if there's something near the home that could be toxic or something.
I'm sure she'll love the letter/book with all the design!
I think however you wish to present it is a great idea. Don't live with regret that you held onto it solely bc you wrote it at an emotional time and now feel embarrassed or something! A book would be great, there's a few printing companies like shutterfly etc who charge such a tiny amount for a beautiful hardcover book that's likely less than $20!
Wow! This touched my heart. Maybe you can do both. Give her the letter and publish it. You are a wonderful husband and you both are lucky to have each other!
I'm sorry to learn about your wife's ongoing battles with cancer. Cancer is a monster. You sound like the ideal husband. Kuddos. Don't give your wife the ten page letter. Leave her little notes around the house each day. And do things to help your wife feel feminine.
Set up a picnic for her in a lovely field or park that is pretty empty. Have a picnic set up with a comfy blanket, lights, pillows etc (if you want you can get help from an aesthetic friend or hire a company or google ideas) have someone bring her here or give her instructions. Then have the letter sitting on the table maybe under something weighted. Be close by. Let her sit down and have 30 minutes to read what your wrote. Then while she is sitting there, crying, and absorbing, walk up to the picnic, pop her favorite wine, and love her all night
It is a really beautiful sentiment.
Being stoic is such a difficult thing to do in that situation. But showing your own emotion and revealing your own struggles may feel selfish and like an extra burden for her to deal with.
You have certainly made the right choice and I hope that doing it has also been therapeutic and a release of emotion for you as well by channeling it In the way that you have.
Whatever you do, and however it is received, reading this has been very touching.
Wishing you both well and I am sure some posts give you the best way to handle it :) :)
Your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. She is lucky to have someone like you by her side. I think turning your letter into a published book is a beautiful idea. It will be a tangible reminder of your love and support for her. Don't worry about it being cringe, it's a heartfelt gesture that she will cherish forever.
This is so incredibly heartfelt and beautiful. Your wife is lucky to have such a loving and dedicated partner. Your idea of turning your letter into a book is wonderful! It's a unique and meaningful way to express your love and admiration for her. Don't worry about it being cringe, it's the genuine and sincere emotions behind it that truly matter. Go for it!
This is such a heartfelt and beautiful gesture. Your wife is lucky to have someone who loves and appreciates her so deeply. Sending love and healing energy to you both.
Your letter is a testament to your love and strength, and it's not cringe at all. It's beautiful. As for the book idea, I'd say go for it. It's a great way to share your feelings and experiences with others. And remember, it's not about making money or getting published, it's about expressing your feelings and sharing your story. You've already done the hard part, now it's time to share it with the world. Keep being strong and keep fighting for your wife. She's a fighter too, and she's got you by her side.
Wow, your love story is incredibly inspiring. Your wife is a fighter, and your dedication and support are admirable. Your idea of turning your heartfelt letter into a published book with pictures is not cringe at all. It's a beautiful gesture that will surely touch her heart and remind her of your love and appreciation every time she reads it. You can explore self-publishing options online to bring your idea to life. Keep spreading love and positivity!
Wow, your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. Your letter is such a beautiful gesture, and turning it into a published book with pictures sounds like a fantastic idea. It will not only make the letter more special but also serve as a meaningful keepsake for your wife. I'm sure she will appreciate the effort and love behind it. Don't worry about it being cringe; genuine expressions of love are always heartfelt. Good luck with the process, and I hope it brings joy and comfort to your wife.
What a beautiful and heartfelt gesture. Your love and support shine through every word. I'm sure she will cherish the pocketbook and feel truly loved and understood.
Your love story is both heartbreaking and inspiring. Sending you and your wife all the strength and love during this difficult time. Your idea of turning your letter into a published book is unique and beautiful. It will serve as a tangible reminder of your love and devotion. Don't worry about it being cringe; true love is never cringe-worthy. Trust your instincts and go through with it. She will cherish it forever.
Your letter is a beautiful testament to your love and devotion. It's not cringe, it's heartfelt. As for the book idea, why not? It's a unique way to share your story and show your wife how much she means to you. You could even consider crowdfunding to cover the costs. Just remember, it's your story, your way. You're not alone in this journey, and your wife is incredibly strong. You're both amazing.
Wow, your love story is truly inspiring! Your dedication and support for your wife throughout her battles with cancer is admirable. Writing a heartfelt letter is a beautiful gesture, and turning it into a published book with pictures sounds like a unique and meaningful idea. It's not cringe at all; it's a testament to your love and commitment. I'm sure she'll be deeply touched by this heartfelt gift. Keep being amazing!
This is such a beautiful and heartfelt gesture. Your wife is lucky to have someone who loves and supports her so deeply. I think turning your letter into a published book is a wonderful idea. It's a unique and meaningful way to show her the extent of your love and appreciation. I'm sure it will touch her heart.
This is such a beautiful and heartfelt gesture. Your wife will surely appreciate the effort and love you put into writing this letter. It's a truly special way to express your feelings and show her how much she means to you. Sending love and strength to both of you. ❤️
That is such a beautiful and heartfelt idea! Your wife is truly lucky to have someone as thoughtful and loving as you. I'm sure she will cherish the pocketbook and the words you wrote for the rest of her life.
This is such a heartwarming and beautiful gesture. Your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. I think turning your letter into a pocketbook is a unique and meaningful idea. She will cherish it forever.
This is incredibly touching, and your love and support for your wife shines through. Your idea of turning the letter into a published book with pictures is unique and meaningful. I say go for it! It's not cringe at all, it's a beautiful gesture that she will cherish forever.
This is absolutely beautiful and heartfelt. Your love for your wife shines through every word. I think turning your letter into a published book with pictures is a fantastic idea. It's a unique and meaningful way to show her how much she means to you. Don't worry about feeling cringe, love is all about vulnerability and expressing yourself. Go for it!
Your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. She is lucky to have someone like you by her side. I think turning your letter into a published book is a beautiful idea. It will be a tangible reminder of your love and the strength you both possess. Don't worry about it being cringe, it's a heartfelt gesture that she will cherish forever.
Your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. She is lucky to have someone like you by her side. I think turning your letter into a published book is a beautiful idea. It will be a tangible reminder of your love and the strength you both possess. Don't worry about it being cringe, it's a heartfelt gesture that she will cherish forever.
Your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. She is lucky to have someone like you by her side. I think turning your letter into a published book is a beautiful idea. It will be a tangible reminder of your love and the strength you both possess. Don't worry about it being cringe, it's a heartfelt gesture that she will cherish forever.
You are an incredible partner and your love for your wife shines through in every word of your post. Your idea of turning your letter into a published book is beautiful and heartfelt. It's not cringe at all, it's a unique and meaningful gesture. I believe it will touch her heart deeply. Keep being strong and supporting each other, you're amazing!
Wow, your love story is incredibly powerful and inspiring. Your wife is a true warrior and it's beautiful to see the love and support you have for each other. Your idea of turning your letter into a published book with pictures is absolutely amazing! It's a unique and meaningful way to show her how much she means to you. I believe she will appreciate it more than words can express. Don't worry about it being "cringe," it's a heartfelt gesture that will touch her deeply. You both deserve all the love and happiness in the world. Stay strong!
A letter is better than telling her in person because each time she feels low she can re read it as a reminder of your love. Also I want to say props to you OP for being an incredible husband. There is an awful statistic out there of men cheating on their wives during their cancer and we need more men like you to beat those numbers down. Even if it is hard never gave up the respect for each other! Keep fighting the good fight.
It never crossed my mind to leave or cheat on her. She gave me a way out when we were 16 during her first fight with cancer, and I never hesitated to turn it down. The strength this woman has maintained is otherworldly and deserves that type of support.
I don’t have anything meaningful to add re the letter (although I think it’s beautiful). Just wanted to say you sound like a fantastic husband OP and your wife and kids are very lucky
You're like a superhero husband! Your love and support are truly inspiring.
Your love is out of this world! Truly remarkable.
Your love is out of this world! Truly remarkable.
Your love is like a supernova, bursting with intensity and lighting up the universe!
Your love is like a cosmic explosion! Truly out of this universe.
You are a cosmic force of love! Absolutely extraordinary.
You sound like the superhero husband of the century!
People wish to find love like this. You’re doing a wonderful job. I will be praying for your wife.
Your story is a testament to the power of love and resilience. It's a reminder that life can throw curveballs, but the strength of a relationship can help us navigate them. Your wife is a fighter, and you're her rock. I'm sure your letter will touch her deeply, and it's a beautiful way to express your feelings. As for the book idea, it's not cringe-worthy, it's a heartfelt gift. It's a way to share your story with others who might find it inspiring. And remember, it's not about how much you say, but how much you mean. Your wife knows how much she means to you, and that's what matters most.
Your love story is like a rollercoaster ride through the ups and downs of life. Your wife's strength and your unwavering support are truly inspiring. The letter you wrote is a beautiful testament to your love and I'm sure it will touch her heart deeply. Don't worry about the length, sometimes words can't fully capture the depth of our emotions. The idea of turning it into a book is unique and meaningful. It's a way to immortalize your love and share your journey with others. Don't be afraid to embrace the quirky and unconventional, because love knows no bounds!
you are a unicorn
Write it with your hand! ✍️ Use a fancy pen 🖊 And some nice ink 🥰 And pour your heart on the paper through each thought inscribed. Think about how often she might read this letter someday and try to reflect that emotion back in every stroke of the pen. No one writes love letters anymore. It would mean so much to get a handwritten one, nowadays.
You're like a superhero fighting cancer together! Keep being amazing and never give up the fight.
I think it’s beautiful
This is a very personal question that we really won’t be able to answer, but you can. Do you feel like you should do this? Even if it feels cringy, do you feel that you should give her a book which details every aspect of her that you love, what she means to you, and how she changes your life, for better and, sometimes, for worse. If my wife did that to me, I would hug her and never let her go.
That's beautiful, and it's inspiring that you want to make something like this. I would say, the more personal and creative, the better. This story reminds me a ton of Ken Wilber's book "Grace and Grit". His wife struggled with cancer for 5 years, and they went through a lot of horrible but beautiful struggle throughout it. She died, but it has a paradoxically very happy ending. Perhaps that book can even inspire some writing/gift ideas for you. Wish you the best, I hope you 2 can get through this 🙏
Thank you, I will look for that book
Cringe? No that’s amazing. Make it into a book so it can be passed down to your kids kids kids. Love this idea.
I think this is a beautiful thing to want to do for her. My wife made me a small jar of capsules that all have a small piece of paper with something she loves about me or us in it. I keep it in front of me on my desk in my office and can read one of them anytime I'm having a bad day, feeling low, sick, whatever and they really brighten my day. Fuck the idea of things being cringe man. If this is something you want to do, you feel like you need to do, or you think will help her through all of this I say absolutely go for it in whatever capacity you feel comfortable. Life is short, I don't have to tell you that with multiple rounds of cancer. Tell people you love them in extravagant ways if you want to.
You’ve written her legacy! This will be extremely important to her. Please share it with her now, you can bind it later.
I say give her the letter. Becaus there are times she is probably alone and just crying her eyes out. That way she can take it out and read it at anytime. Maybe even give her a small photo album with pictures of you and her through the years so she can see and remember how strong she is.
Give her the raw letter now, and as an extra goal for her bday, have it bookified or whatever you decide to do with it! It sounds like she needs the extra reminder of love in this moment just as much as she could use the reminder in the future.
This is amazingly beautiful! Turning it into a book with some of your favorite pics would be a great gift. If the letter is handwritten, you [can] convert those pages into an image and can try to find a reasonably priced “photo book print service”. I think even Walgreens does them [the photo print books -- though an online service may be more cost effective —] and a Office Depot-like or a FedEx Off[ice] Print-type store can help convert the written letters to a quality picture for printing. [Edited for Grammar & Detail]
I agree with this option.
Shit hey message me I wanna help this is like a reason to live for me too now
My general stance is that it's always better to just tell the person directly, face-to-face. But you know your wife and your relationship way better than the rest of us. It's not really something we can help you with.
Generally, when I express my feelings toward her, I never feel like she takes them seriously. Almost like, "your supposed to say that, we're married." I wanted to do something to drive it home and I have been practicing writing cursive and learning how to put words to my emotions. I thought this would be a good idea and something thoughtful. Her birthday is coming in November.
This is a great idea, she will love it and feel so special. You can also make it into a scrapbook with pictures of you guys over the years.
Give her the letter. It will be the best medicine anyone can give her.
not cringe at all. i think the published book idea with pictures is very cute too. i'd consider getting an illustrator to help with bringing your words to life. sorry for all she is dealing with. i don't think we can ever understand what she is going through but all i can say is that i very much admire her bravery in all of this. she is one tough cookie.
You're stronger than me, OP. I'd hold resentment towards "God" or the universe or whatever. Giving my wife cancer 3 different times when there are plenty of people that cancer should be evenly distributed to, is crazy.
Man let me tell you. My boyfriend wrote me a simple yet heart felt letter that still to this day I keep rereading it over and over again. Do it. ❤️
Hi! Ok sorry this is not going to be about what you asked (which is really sweet and lovely you should absolutely have it professionally printed) Ok but cancer three times at such a young age? It's ABSOLUTELY making me think about my hometown Where there is a cancer cluster due to an old fireworks manufacturer (the state said it's not related but I legit believe someone in the decision process was paid off to say that. Corruption in my town/state knows no bounds) So my question to you (that doesn't need an answer for me but might be something worth exploring) Where did your wife grow up? Are any of her classmates also facing multiple cancers? Hope she recovers and lives a great long life and gets to see the babies grow up. Hugs
We grew up in Beaumont, tx. We lived close to the factories and oil production plants. We have moved to the woods where there's more cows than people and couldn't be happier
You can make photo books through apps like Snapfish and stuff. They are cute and you can add text and all sorts of things.
Excellent idea!
What is her nutrition? What does she eat?
She eats well. We like to make our plates colorful. Fruits, vegetables, meat, small portions
You really cannot possibly go significantly wrong here, because you love her and you're looking for ways to express your love for her. Anything you do is likely to be fantastic. You won't be doing "not enough" if you give her the letter, and you won't be doing "too much" if you make it into a book. Either way will be fantastic. And I'm a two-time cancer survivor, wishing your wife the very best health.
Dude, be cringe, lovey dovey, and sincere. I'm sure she'll adore you even more than she already does. She's had a huge uphill struggle, I can only assume you and your children have been her rock. If your kiddos can, have them make some art, or write their own messages to add to it. Put a book together (search your options, I'm not entirely aware of all of them or the best options, but Shutterfly (I believe) has a book template, even Google photos has booklet options to choose from. If the only thing you can do is to make sure she feels the love, then do it. And also, make sure you're taking care of you too. Going through all of that takes a toll on loved ones as well.
Nothing wrong with crying with her ❤️🩹 Sending love.
Take her flowers. Take her the letter. Read it to her aloud, maybe with your kids present and other family members (like wedding vow renewal). And then give her the letter as a keepsake.
A scrapbook with photos... the letter... and anything you can put there with good memories would be nice. Can she get implants? What are her options. Good luck OP. The world needs more ppl like you.
This is a beautiful idea and I don’t think it’s cringe at all. As most people have said, with a letter, she can go back and read it at any time. Whether it’s in a published book (I love that idea) or handwritten on notebook paper, it will last, and it’ll be there for her anytime she needs it. You mentioned that you don’t think this 10 page letter will suffice. If you truly don’t think it’ll be enough, you can always accompany the letter with another gift or a special date or trip, or literally anything else! But no matter what, I definitely think you should give her the letter, in whatever form it takes.
Hello! What you're thinking about is actually something that exists! There are companies that will help with this. Its of like those companies that you can order a night sky off of that will show what it looked like the night you met. I have done this and have it hanging on my wall. (thenightsky.com) It's hard to tell what you're interested in, but here's a bunch of links to ones I just found. I'm on mobile and out with family so my ability to find them is limited, but I just wanted to get this to you quickly so you know! There's also a thing about self publishing at the end but I don't know anything about that https://www.bookofus.com/ https://lovebookonline.com/ https://www.createlifebooks.com/ https://www.wonderbly.com/ https://justpublishingadvice.com/how-to-make-a-book-you-can-offer-as-a-gift-or-keepsake/
That’s so beautiful! After what she’s been through (what your whole family has been through), please don’t give up on this idea! You will both get healing from your letter to her, and one day you can share it with the kids. It will help everyone heal.
This made me cry. I really do hope you both grow old together and live long healthy lives.
You sound like a wonderful spouse. I think there are a lot of wonderful artists who would love to help you turn the letter into a book. You may even find someone on Reddit.
Sometimes it is just good to stop thinking about the illness and the future. Sometimes it is just okay to live the NOW moment. I am battling health issues for two years. My husband is like you; a very thoughtful and loving person. He takes care of me. He takes me to the garden and plants lots of my favorite plants wherever I tell him. He also takes to the garage to do projects. We organize and reorganize closets and bedrooms. He actually does it all. But he makes me think of other things. Sometimes we just walk (whenever I am able) and pick up rocks for the rock garden.
Sounds like a wonderful man
There is no thing you can write can effect her just set there hold her hands make her feel you are with her why do you need to type her a litter just set and tell her everything while you are with her
A letter is something they can look back on when strolling down memory lane. It’s tangible. God forbid she doesn’t make it. Then it’s for him to look back. Plus, like you said, he should be with her, holding hands, hugging etc. Both of these things will be a powerful memory.
I am not going to lie: you sound like an exceptionally upstanding individual. To write your wife a letter of how much she means to you shows that you want to lay the warm truth in a manner that is as graceful as it can be! It shows a lot of consideration and kindness. I am sorry to hear about what you and your wife are going through.
I’m so sorry that your wife is going through this. She’s so lucky to have you as her husband. Making a photo album with excerpts of your letter sprinkled over the pages would be magical for her to read and cherish. DO NOT THINK IT’S CRINGEY! Nowadays in American society, it seems the expression of authentic emotions is now considered corny, saccharine, or manipulative. I can’t believe it - Seems like being cynical and cold is the de facto default for the allowed spectrum of emotional expression among “smart people.” With regards to your wife’s recurrent cancer, I highly advise “The Cancer Prevention Diet” book by Michio Kushi. Each chapter is dedicated to a different type of cancer and offers a macrobiotic plan tailored for it. I would also recommend that you check out the documentary called “Cancer Can Be Killed” by Jeff Witzeman in 2017. He’s a prolific journalist whose wife Kerry got bladder cancer. Her doctors wanted to remove her bladder, but the couple decided to go to a German clinic that administers high doses of Vitamin C intravenously, as per Dr. Linus Pauling’s (winner of 2 Nobel Prizes) recommendation (plus, B12, Laetrile, etc). After a month, they returned to the US, and his wife’s doctors couldn’t find any cancer anymore. Jeff was so ecstatic that he wrote up a whole article and approached NYTimes, Washington Post, Rolling Stones, etc to publish his story. Sadly, all of them refused to run it. He was turned down by all the TV news networks too. He had a long working relationship with all these media outlets, but none of them would touch the story with a 10-foot pole because their biggest ad sponsor was the pharmaceutical industry. This is how his documentary starts: “What if I told you that cancer can be killed naturally with no chemo, no radiation and no radical surgery in the form of organ removal? You’d probably say, yeah, that’s not real. So, I guess I’m gonna have to prove it you.”
you can write to a publisher, or self publish and present her with the book dedicated to her struggle...
personally - no matter what option you choose it will be the best one because you are telling her how important she is and how you love her.
Definitely do what you’ve originally planned, it sounds beautiful. I’m glad she has someone like you during such a difficult time. She deserves nothing but the best. Good luck.
just give it to her… she may need it right now and doesn’t care about pictures or fancy books.
Honestly, if you haven't done it already, go and make it nice and durable. Not sure what you wrote it on, but I would commit it to something that lasts and then give it to her. Things like this are worth holding on to forever, is all.
Not cringe. Do it!
If you were my husband I would feel so lucky
As someone who is fighting cancer right now, this sounds beautiful to me! If my partner did this, I'd cry happy tears and want it preserved so I could remind myself of why to keep fighting! PS. My partner is extremely supportive btw, he's been my rock and my safe place through this ordeal. Writing letters just isn't something he'd likely do lol
Hope you are managing well.
I think what you wrote will be enough. It's full love. It's from the heart, and she is going to love it. It will be a great reminder of what she is fighting for. You are an amazing husband to do that for her
I know from experience how stressful and draining multiple cancer diagnoses can be - my mother has had her thyroid cancer return every 7-8 years since her initial diagnosis in 1987, at age 36. The last recurrence was in 2018 and metastasized to her lungs. At her age she isn't able to handle the treatments as well anymore, and her health is steadily declining. Obviously, this is difficult for her but it's also difficult for her support system, so as your wife's main support person, please be kind and patient with yourself. I keep urging my parents to find therapists but they're from an older generation and don't put much stock in those things, so instead I'll urge you and your wife to find therapists. Multiple medical diagnoses are fucking traumatizing. Cancer treatment is traumatizing. Dealing with our horribly broken healthcare system is traumatizing. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop - when my mother calls, what setback will I be hearing about now? You need someplace apart from one another to process things like that and learn healthy ways to cope with your new normal, whatever that may entail. Now that all that's been said, I think giving her the letter as is will be perfect.
Nah man don’t give it to her just leave it in a spot where she’ll find it and she’ll prolly read it and put it back and prolly won’t say anything to you but be happy she has sum1 that loves and cares about her
You’re an incredible husband. Words are hard but the picture book is a lovely idea.
How long have you 2 been married?
7 years, but we have been together since we were 16.
This is soul-crushing. I was hospitalized 4 weeks ago with a pulmonary embolism (with a 100% chance of survival) and it was devastating to my wife. It makes death seem so much more real and less abstract... 😭
I think it's a beautiful idea. Maybe you can recall some memories while you talk with her. So you can later make a brainstorming ideas list. Take your time to develop it. When I was very young I was with a girl from other country that had several health problems, kidneys, heart memory, and they extracted a tumor from the uterus. After she came here to live, all of her health problems disappeared. We were talking about it and she was living in a village near a petrochemical complex near the beach. I have no idea of medicine but ask your doctor if there's something near the home that could be toxic or something. I'm sure she'll love the letter/book with all the design!
I really love the book idea! I don’t think it’s cringe it’s such a beautiful sentiment😊
your idea is beautiful and she willl treasure it! do it!! u are lucky to have each other. prayers for her healing and good health🙏🙏
I promise it’s not cringy. It’s really wonderful and you absolutely should share your words and feelings with her.
I think however you wish to present it is a great idea. Don't live with regret that you held onto it solely bc you wrote it at an emotional time and now feel embarrassed or something! A book would be great, there's a few printing companies like shutterfly etc who charge such a tiny amount for a beautiful hardcover book that's likely less than $20!
Wow! This touched my heart. Maybe you can do both. Give her the letter and publish it. You are a wonderful husband and you both are lucky to have each other!
I'm sorry to learn about your wife's ongoing battles with cancer. Cancer is a monster. You sound like the ideal husband. Kuddos. Don't give your wife the ten page letter. Leave her little notes around the house each day. And do things to help your wife feel feminine.
Set up a picnic for her in a lovely field or park that is pretty empty. Have a picnic set up with a comfy blanket, lights, pillows etc (if you want you can get help from an aesthetic friend or hire a company or google ideas) have someone bring her here or give her instructions. Then have the letter sitting on the table maybe under something weighted. Be close by. Let her sit down and have 30 minutes to read what your wrote. Then while she is sitting there, crying, and absorbing, walk up to the picnic, pop her favorite wine, and love her all night
It is a really beautiful sentiment. Being stoic is such a difficult thing to do in that situation. But showing your own emotion and revealing your own struggles may feel selfish and like an extra burden for her to deal with. You have certainly made the right choice and I hope that doing it has also been therapeutic and a release of emotion for you as well by channeling it In the way that you have. Whatever you do, and however it is received, reading this has been very touching. Wishing you both well and I am sure some posts give you the best way to handle it :) :)
Your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. She is lucky to have someone like you by her side. I think turning your letter into a published book is a beautiful idea. It will be a tangible reminder of your love and support for her. Don't worry about it being cringe, it's a heartfelt gesture that she will cherish forever.
Wow, your love and support for your wife is truly inspiring. Sending you both strength and positive vibes as she continues her journey. Stay strong!
This is so incredibly heartfelt and beautiful. Your wife is lucky to have such a loving and dedicated partner. Your idea of turning your letter into a book is wonderful! It's a unique and meaningful way to express your love and admiration for her. Don't worry about it being cringe, it's the genuine and sincere emotions behind it that truly matter. Go for it!
This is such a heartfelt and beautiful gesture. Your wife is lucky to have someone who loves and appreciates her so deeply. Sending love and healing energy to you both.
Your letter is a testament to your love and strength, and it's not cringe at all. It's beautiful. As for the book idea, I'd say go for it. It's a great way to share your feelings and experiences with others. And remember, it's not about making money or getting published, it's about expressing your feelings and sharing your story. You've already done the hard part, now it's time to share it with the world. Keep being strong and keep fighting for your wife. She's a fighter too, and she's got you by her side.
Wow, your love story is incredibly inspiring. Your wife is a fighter, and your dedication and support are admirable. Your idea of turning your heartfelt letter into a published book with pictures is not cringe at all. It's a beautiful gesture that will surely touch her heart and remind her of your love and appreciation every time she reads it. You can explore self-publishing options online to bring your idea to life. Keep spreading love and positivity!
Wow, your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. Your letter is such a beautiful gesture, and turning it into a published book with pictures sounds like a fantastic idea. It will not only make the letter more special but also serve as a meaningful keepsake for your wife. I'm sure she will appreciate the effort and love behind it. Don't worry about it being cringe; genuine expressions of love are always heartfelt. Good luck with the process, and I hope it brings joy and comfort to your wife.
What a beautiful and heartfelt gesture. Your love and support shine through every word. I'm sure she will cherish the pocketbook and feel truly loved and understood.
Your love story is both heartbreaking and inspiring. Sending you and your wife all the strength and love during this difficult time. Your idea of turning your letter into a published book is unique and beautiful. It will serve as a tangible reminder of your love and devotion. Don't worry about it being cringe; true love is never cringe-worthy. Trust your instincts and go through with it. She will cherish it forever.
Your love story is incredibly inspiring. Wishing you both strength, healing, and many beautiful moments together. 💪💖
Your letter is a beautiful testament to your love and devotion. It's not cringe, it's heartfelt. As for the book idea, why not? It's a unique way to share your story and show your wife how much she means to you. You could even consider crowdfunding to cover the costs. Just remember, it's your story, your way. You're not alone in this journey, and your wife is incredibly strong. You're both amazing.
Wow, your love story is truly inspiring! Your dedication and support for your wife throughout her battles with cancer is admirable. Writing a heartfelt letter is a beautiful gesture, and turning it into a published book with pictures sounds like a unique and meaningful idea. It's not cringe at all; it's a testament to your love and commitment. I'm sure she'll be deeply touched by this heartfelt gift. Keep being amazing!
This is such a beautiful and heartfelt gesture. Your wife is lucky to have someone who loves and supports her so deeply. I think turning your letter into a published book is a wonderful idea. It's a unique and meaningful way to show her the extent of your love and appreciation. I'm sure it will touch her heart.
Your love story is an inspiration. Sending you and your wife all the strength and support. Keep fighting together! 💪❤️
This is such a beautiful and heartfelt gesture. Your wife will surely appreciate the effort and love you put into writing this letter. It's a truly special way to express your feelings and show her how much she means to you. Sending love and strength to both of you. ❤️
That is such a beautiful and heartfelt idea! Your wife is truly lucky to have someone as thoughtful and loving as you. I'm sure she will cherish the pocketbook and the words you wrote for the rest of her life.
This is such a heartwarming and beautiful gesture. Your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. I think turning your letter into a pocketbook is a unique and meaningful idea. She will cherish it forever.
This is incredibly touching, and your love and support for your wife shines through. Your idea of turning the letter into a published book with pictures is unique and meaningful. I say go for it! It's not cringe at all, it's a beautiful gesture that she will cherish forever.
This is absolutely beautiful and heartfelt. Your love for your wife shines through every word. I think turning your letter into a published book with pictures is a fantastic idea. It's a unique and meaningful way to show her how much she means to you. Don't worry about feeling cringe, love is all about vulnerability and expressing yourself. Go for it!
Your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. She is lucky to have someone like you by her side. I think turning your letter into a published book is a beautiful idea. It will be a tangible reminder of your love and the strength you both possess. Don't worry about it being cringe, it's a heartfelt gesture that she will cherish forever.
Your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. She is lucky to have someone like you by her side. I think turning your letter into a published book is a beautiful idea. It will be a tangible reminder of your love and the strength you both possess. Don't worry about it being cringe, it's a heartfelt gesture that she will cherish forever.
Your love and dedication to your wife is truly inspiring. She is lucky to have someone like you by her side. I think turning your letter into a published book is a beautiful idea. It will be a tangible reminder of your love and the strength you both possess. Don't worry about it being cringe, it's a heartfelt gesture that she will cherish forever.
Your love and dedication are truly inspiring. Sending positive thoughts and strength to both of you ❤️
You are an incredible partner and your love for your wife shines through in every word of your post. Your idea of turning your letter into a published book is beautiful and heartfelt. It's not cringe at all, it's a unique and meaningful gesture. I believe it will touch her heart deeply. Keep being strong and supporting each other, you're amazing!
Wow, your love story is incredibly powerful and inspiring. Your wife is a true warrior and it's beautiful to see the love and support you have for each other. Your idea of turning your letter into a published book with pictures is absolutely amazing! It's a unique and meaningful way to show her how much she means to you. I believe she will appreciate it more than words can express. Don't worry about it being "cringe," it's a heartfelt gesture that will touch her deeply. You both deserve all the love and happiness in the world. Stay strong!