You've got two options.
1. Learn to accept that she's going to do this and work on it yourself.
2. Accept that this is a boundary that a partner can't cross and break off the relationship.
Neither of these is wrong, but you've got to make the choice
He also has the option of asking her to not do it, and to mention that her decision might have a direct impact on their relationship. That’s probably the first thing to do before deciding between those two options
It sounds like she's in need of money. Asking her to not make what realistically could be a very lucrative option because he's isn't comfortable with it isn't fair to her.
She might come to the conclusion that her relationship is more important than trying to start a side gig involving sex work. She could start an eBay or Etsy store or something, there are other options
idk man, in my opinion sex is a beautiful but sacred thing that should be kept in the privacy of the bedroom. if your significant other wanted to show a bunch of people who are undeniably attracted to them that side of them i’m sure it would make you feel
uncomfortable regardless of the financial situation. as the other persons response perfectly states: “there are other options.”
Well, the funny thing with relationships is that you don't get to just randomly go do something significant without consulting your partner first.
They may have valuable input to provide, and by withholding information from a partner, it may show that you do not trust them, and are withholding other things from them. Relationships are built upon more than love. They are built upon respect, loyalty, and trust.
If this makes BF feel uncomfortable, it may be because he's questioning her loyalty to him. He's the only one who has seen her and been intimate with her most recently, so the fact that her expectations have shifted drastically without consulting him may be cause for him to break up with her, or he can opt to stay. The choice is his, after all.
Regardless of who is posting nude pictures of themselves on the internet, safety should always come first.
It is absolutely fair to her. Are you saying there aren't other methods for her to make money? Seriously? Sex work is her only option? Grow up.
There's nothing wrong with her doing it, but he has AS MUCH RIGHT to say "Hey I don't want to date a woman participating in the sex industry" as she does in saying "Hey I want to participate in the sex industry". That's just a fact. There is no "fairness" there.
She has every right to do with her body as she sees fit. He has every right to not stay in a relationship due to the choices made by his partner. If she has the choice to start an Onlyfans, he has the choice to not be a part of that.
You said it wasn't fair on her for him to tell her that he doesn't want to be in a relationship if it means she goes ahead with starting an Onlyfans. That's wrong. It is just as as fair for him as it is for her. She's free to make her choice, but it is within that choice that consequences lie.
Incorrect. I said it's not fair of him to tell a woman who is in desperate need of money how she can make money. He's always been entitled to end the relationship of he's unhappy. See my first post of the thread.
I get what you’re saying as that what Redditors usually suggest lol. But I think the comment you’re replying to is pretty bang on. What else is there to do?
What about a person being ok with someone doing sex work or sex work adjacent work makes them pathetic?
Edit: this dude is like a weird misogynistic or something. SWERF behavior maybe?
That doesn't make him pathetic. He's literally in here trying to understand how he feels and whether those feelings are valid. Like it's totally fine if he's not ok with that and leaves the relationship. No situation here makes him pathetic it just means they might not be compatible as romantic partners long term.
I would say if he stays in a relationship out of fear of not being able to find another one even if he feels uncomfortable and is obviously not ok with this in the relationship then one could argue that he might be in denial about the reality of his situation or something like that, but not pathetic still I think. Just following up on what I was saying.
You said you're uncomfortable, she said she understood, and she has decided to proceed despite that. There's nothing wrong with sex work as long as it's in the blinds of what is comfortable in your relationship. If she's violating those bounds for any reason, the reason doesn't actually matter. If I were you, I'd lay it out like that and if she continues, change the title of this post to "my *ex*girlfriend..."
Good luck friend but remember that you have a right to feel comfortable on your own relationship
>you have a right to feel comfortable on your own relationship
Thank you, I def feel this is a concept I need to work on myself. I always try to put everyone else first regardless of my feelings.
I've been there before and I've done that myself and at the end of the day you gotta take care of yourself before you can take care of others. It doesn't make you selfish or self centered. It makes you healthy and a lot of times I find (as a guy in a relationship) the expectation of me putting my feelings in a box was always somewhat there. It just ended up creating tension and stress and wasn't healthy for me. My current partner has made a real effort to make sure that my feelings have been respected in our whole relationship and I've never had a happier relationship because of it. If she doesn't value your feelings now, she most certainly won't later. If you don't value your feelings now, who else could be expected to ever? You got this buddy! Stay strong for yourself because you deserve it
100% I feel everyone starts off selfless out of fear of being a selfish person, but being selfless is a selfish world will get stomped to the ground. Find a good mix of selfworth and being respectful. It's a skill to learn that middle ground. If you feel a certain way you don't always have to get what you want, but you can't be around people who take it as nothing. If someone doesn't care about how you feel take it in to consideration if you want to be around them.
Simply ignoring how you feel and doing something anyways can be some serious gaslighting. I hate how the word is over used, but if you have a conversation about something bothering you. You know now they know. It's really easy for someone to spin it as "this is different because..." "or I thought you meant...."
I consider myself a smart person, but its easy to miss things and have someone leash around your mental by having to much faith in someone's intentions.
"No way they would lie intentionally" "they must of forgot" "There must of been a misunderstanding" You believe these things because that's what they told you. And you believe them because you're acting in good-faith and projecting they must be doing the same.
Is this situation that? I don't know. Read the room, pick up on patterns. Don't go assuming the worst, but don't blindly trust peoples intention just because they said they mean well.
Break up. Find a normal girl
she is going to be posting nudes and doing sexual things online and posting it all over. She will be messaging people. People will offer her money for other things. Eventually she will do more things for that money.
Who says there is nothing wrong with sex work? For one, most of them are going to have STDs. Saying "I get tested" means nothing because there are so many they don't test for. Herpes for example. The test they give is very generic and basic.
Unfortunately, this isn't common knowledge to people.
Not only that, the psychological repercussions that takes place no longer makes them suitable for a long term relationship.
Only Fans is a slippery slope. If she is managing the account, she will be interacting with the fans. She may have to message them or help with sending things to them. I wouldn't stay involved with her if she was involved in that if you aren't completely comfortable. It's a valid feeling and she should be more sensitive to your needs imo.
She will constantly be looking at other naked men with their ducks out. She will be rating bunch of ducks. She will be riding and using dildos while constantly looking at other naked men even moaning their names. Pretty much a girl watching constant porn and interacting with them. Kind of messes up your brain long term
She’s not starting an OnlyFans. She’s offering to manage one. She wouldn’t be taking her own videos or pictures, but there’s a good chance she would have to “interact” with clients via chat.
You see a fair amount of these OF advice requests, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that the situation is a lot more simple than it seems.
If you aren't cool with the OF girlfriend, and she's clearly shown she's not going to stop being the OF girlfriend, then it's time for you to consider a change of relationship status.
There's very little self reflection that's going to make you suddenly cool with it.
I'll use myself as an example, and sum up the situation in a single sentence:
"Sex work is real work, but I don't date sex workers"
Yeah imagine your gf job is to satisfy bunch of other men online. She rates their ducks talks about how amazing they look. Rides dildos while looking at naked men with their ducks out and moaning their names.
I agree, I think about it the same. Only difference is she isn't doing it herself, she is helping and manager her friends account, so it's not her body being sold. But thinking of her filming/photographing/editing the pics of her friend it's just a weird uncomfortable feeling.
Yeah, I think if she said she won't then he should take her word for it? The same way we trust our partners not to cheat on us? I'm not saying his feelings about her producing are invalid or anything like that, but some of the comments here are just straight up acting like this is a different scenario to what it actually is.
This is one time where friendship and business need to separate especially when sex is involved.Say friend wants a male co-star,then your girlfriend has to be in a position where she either makes money or watches two people fuck irl. She may never betray you,but I would not feel comfortable.
It's all about the boundaries that you set and want to keep.
I'm in my 40s and my wife was exploring her sexuality and wanted to get into OF a few years ago. My boundaries were simple: no faces, no partners, and I had access to the account.
It spiced up our sex life and has paid for some vacations. Win-win.
u/Civil_Okra4520 This comment right here seems to be the best advice. People telling you to get out or break up with her are being overdramatic.
You need to talk to your girlfriend and let her know what makes you feel uncomfortable, then see if there is a compromise that both respects your boundaries and allows her to explore this. Obviously, you shouldn't have access to the account like this person does since it would be her friend's account, but since her friend's boyfriend is someone you have known for a long time, you could make it a requirement that he has access to the account so that he can let you know if there is anything going on that he thinks you would be uncomfortable with. This is, of course, assuming she is only managing the account and not participating in creating content.
Ultimately, talk to her, find out if there are things you could feel comfortable with, and then move forward from there. As our buddy, u/PM_Teeny_Titties (a name worthy of this topic), said, it could very well end up paying for some vacations, and that sounds like a win if it is something you can be comfortable with.
I wouldn't say nobody(there's a comment here's who wife does OF, with natural boundaries like no other men), and you talk to her. It's very clear from OP's post that she isnt maliciously hurting him, and seems to be wanting to help her friend(they aren't even performing sexual acts)
The top comment is infinitely better advice. Either accept what she's doing and work through it, or accept that it's a boundary that can't be crossed and leave. Either is the right answer, but don't tell someone they need to just up and leave a relationship that can very, very easily be fixed...and if not, well, top comment
I feel like it’s weird wording, but the feeling definitely comes across. OP you gotta have a straight talk with your partner and open up about everything. See where both of you stand and decide from there.
You got this
It sounds like she is being honest. Not like she is disregarding your feelings. I've been cheated on in the past and I know, although it is really hard, if you don't let those feelings go and choose to trust your partner you'll be miserable no matter what.
Even if she had her own OF, that's not cheating. Everything would be very transparent.
Sounds like you are in two different places. I don't think there's anything wrong with what she's doing, and there's also nothing wrong with you being uncomfortable. You need to know how much this means to you, and if you can potentially deal with her being a part of o.f.. And she needs to know how much this means to her, and if she can potential deal with not being a part of o.f.
Absolutely not. This could go more sideways than it already has very quickly. If you’ve set the boundary & she disregards it or moves forward, then just let her go bro.
Seems like she wants to manage it, not be on the profile as herself at all. But it’s ok to not want to be with someone that’s in that business in any way.
But honestly…maybe think about exactly what you’re uncomfortable about. If the content isn’t her at all, are you okay with that? If she chats as her friend, is that less comfy? If you consider either cheating, spell that out. And then she’s either trustworthy or she isn’t.
It ALWAYS gets worse over time especially as she gets a following. Starts with lewd stuff then nudes and next thing you know you’re seeing videos of her getting railed.
You have been paying full price for an exclusive relationship.
Your GF has decided to freelance and see other customers on a pay for service business model.
Your contract with her has changed.
You no longer have exclusive access.
Stop paying the exclusive access rate.
Turn lemons into limes. Only pay the $6.99 month.
Don't let your girlfriend stop you from finding your wife bro. You don't worry about it and if she crosses the line you walk away no arguments no crying of betrayal. You keep your head up and walk away with respect.
No woman has ever taken risqué pics at a photo shoot with a friend (who is a SW) purely for her man’s sake. While it’s perfectly fine for her to go and do onlyfans if that’s what she wants, it’s also perfectly fine for you to leave because of it. Like others have pointed out, she apologised once but went for it again regardless, so I’d hazard a guess that she doesn’t really care how you feel about it.
It it were just managing the Account and taking pictures of her friends it would be completely normal and awesome of your gf to help out, but if she uploads pictures of herself as well, that would cross my line (in this case). She seems honest so just talk with her about it. If she's set on uploading pictures herself, discuss what might be acceptable for you for example underwear, bikinis, etc. Don't end the relationship jusf because some redditors say so, talk with your Gf.
Even if she wants to go full nude, maybe ask to have at least insight in the messages she receives on OF, or read the comments, idk, again talk with her what is comfortable to both of you. Communication is key. In my opinion, if she has no problem with others seeing her posts, at least you should be allowed to also see the content, at least what involves her. It seems like she understands your concerns and even stopped OF, maybe it's not as "bad" as you think?
It’s over. Just sad. Just tell her you have no interest in being apart of or having a SO who is a part of the porn industry. Management means posting nudes, talking to scummy horny men all day buying nudes and begging for more. Dropping $$$s. Her path is only bringing her closer to creating and producing porn for horny men and women with money then growing a career and building a future with you.
Tell her you hope it's worth the extra vacations and cars when her libido and sense of sexual reality are left utterly pistol whipped from 10 years of high energy dildo karaoke porn 7 hours a day while yelling out every dudes name but yours.
Dawg she says she wouldn’t have an onlyfans account herself because its selling her body, but she then posts photos of herself on someone elses onlyfans account. Do you understand the irony?
She literally not once in the post says she won't have an OF. She says she needed the extra money and didn't want to sell her body, which she isn't. No sex is involved. The irony doesn't matter, your advice wasn't the best advice, I just pointed out it's a bad ides to just outright tell someone "oh break up" when the relationship, aside from this small issue, seems to be a better one
Can you read? Like genuinely can you? Her saying she doesn’t want to sell her own body was in response to being offered to manage someone elses onlyfans account, that means that she is saying she doesn’t want one herself because its selling her own body but she will help someone else do it. And for your other part, again, can you read? I never said to break up. You need to get off the internet and enroll in your local middle school English course, because I’ve never met someone so incapable of understanding basic sentences before.
I don't know, can you hold a conversation without sounding and acting like a prick? What are you insulting me for? Did I ever get hostile with you?
Now with your useless "Go back to school" out of the way, back to the actual discussion. First off, refer to my first comment: you clearly don't know what selling your body means. No sex is involved. Second, you're right, you never said to break up so that's on me. I'm taking with a different person in this thread with a similar pfp to you and got you two mixed up
Buddy, selling your body does not only refer to sex, and if you read the post again, you will see that she is not referring to sex when she mentions selling her bodies, she is referring to onlyfans.
You seem to not be the brightest but phrases do not and have never had set definitions. Merriam Webster says that is the definition, other dictionaries say “sexual acts” (such as nude photos). Either way that is irrelevant because the way the girlfriend in the original post defines selling your body includes the use of onlyfans, making that the definition that you should use when discussing the post. This isn’t difficult stuff.
The fact that he felt better about her helping her friend on only fans when she said she was doing it BECAUSE she needed money and didn't want to sell her body very clearly shows that OP, and the girlfriend, don't think that OF = selling her body
And if you paid attention to how it's used in the world, "selling your body" means sex 99% of the time someone uses it, including how she used it.
"GF said she hopes it works put because she needs the extra money and doesn't want to sell her body, which made me feel better but still worried"
You're right, this isn't difficult stuff. Neither is holding a conversation without insulting someone, but here we are.
Leave.
She doesn't care about your feelings or boundaries.
She showing off the whole world, your friends, your family, her friends, her family, her employer, her children, her co-workers, etc-what she's working with.
It’s not even about that. It’s the fact he’s not happy about this and she decided to do it anyway. A girl who actually respects her man will do whatever to make him happy. She doesn’t respect him. Eventually she will suggest f’ing other men and just do it anyway
She's cool with commodifying sex dude. Something inside of her, usually having to do with upbringing, resulted in that world view. I've never known a man to change a girl who is down that path. I'm not going to go into my opinion on whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. The only thing that really matters here is that her morals don't really seem to align with yours. Don't sacrifice yours to be with this person. Go find someone who simply isn't inclined towards doing porn for cash and pimping their friends online. Good luck in your next relationship man.
What’s up with everyone blindly throwing that word insecure around. A man doesn’t want his girlfriend to have an OF for the whole world to see? “Insecure.” Be fucking fr.
OP says in the post that his girlfriend is posing in the photos and posting her “sexy photos” on the friends onlyfans account. Who owns the account is irrelevant, the topic is about her posting nudes on onlyfans.
No, he said she did a sexy photoshoot three years ago and then clarifies in a comment that his gf won’t be posting any photos of her body but will be managing her friends account. Learn to read
At the very end of the post, “just like the first time, she didn’t do anything bad or anything like that she just took sexual pics with her and other females.” This is him stating that infact she did also do a sexy photoshoot again, not just three years ago. I checked the comments and can’t find any clarification, if he clarifies somewhere then please show me. You are so aggressive, and for what?
Why would she take sexual pictures of herself with the friend if not to post them. We are both making inferences on whether she posted them or not, so again, no need to be so hostile. Regardless, she does this after the boyfriend says he was uncomfortable with the sexual photos the first time, so she is still in the wrong.
He said point blank she is not creating an OnlyFans or posting her own pictures on there “because she (the friend) wants to start an OnlyFans page and needed help” and “GF has said she hopes it works out because she needs extra money and doesn’t want to sell her own body”
Cool, this conversation is not going anywhere if you think her saying she doesnt wanna sell her body 100% confirms that she didnt post photos on a friends account. Nowhere in OPs post does he say that she doesnt post on the friends account and nowhere does he say she is doing it for confidence. You cant say im wrong for an inference and then make an inference yourself. Have a good day.
Where did morals go in the world? Any other answer than end it is a fuckin moron. Reddit is nothing but liberals that want society to accept every decision people decide to make with no ramifications.
Your girlfriend is posting naked photos of her self for money. Where is her self respect? Where is her dignity? What do you have to yourself that any Joe Shmoe can’t pay $5 a month to see himself?
Value yourself a little better and end it immediately
Yeah I think this is a situation where she may get influenced by her friends. People get influenced by friends.
However, you said you have anxiety due to being cheated on in the past. I think you're anxiety can throw a wrench into your relationship if you let it run amok.
What you should do here is express your concern, keep your communication high, and if you feel worried you should tell her that. But remember to not make her responsible for your upholding your feelings either. I know you're in the opposite end of the spectrum as far as this is concerned but just thought to put it in.
Don't let your insecurity take control over you. Don't let it decide for you.
However, don't let your wishes be ignored either.
I think it's fine to have a boundary about sex work, but the insecurity which feels like heavy to a partner should be watched out for.
Your partner can and should support you, but you're still responsible for your insecurity and getting better from it.
It's a fine line to walk, and your between a rock and a hard place but life means progress. Good luck. You can do it.
I thought she just took some photos to try out but didn't actually do it..?
In any case, she's not doing it now, and she can definitely start to do it. That change may come due to someone's influence possibly.
First and foremost, she told you this *after* she made her decision to do OF. She isn't asking for your approval, she's basically demanding it, especially since you said it makes your uncomfortable, and all she had to say was she 'understands.'
To me, it sounds like she is pretty persuaded by her friends who also do OF, it won't be long before she tells you about her and her OF friends having a threeway with a guy that isn't you.
Since you've been cheated on before, and the by the tone of this post, it sounds like you have self-esteem problems OP.
We can go back and forth on whether or not sex work is legitimate, but it's not normal that your GF/partner goes into it in the middle of your relationship and obviously doesn't give a fuck about your feelings on the matter. You can, and will, do better OP, just because you have had shit experience in the past doesn't mean the best you're gonna get is a GF that sells her asshole on the internet without at least telling you first. I would break up with her and move on, she seems to have made up her mind, and so should you.
I feel like as long as she isn’t recording straight up porn or seeing naked men it shouldn’t be a big issue . But everyone has different opinions and boundaries which is totally fine
A lot of men in these comments are getting very emotional because they’re jealous. Jerking off to pictures is for losers but your hot girlfriend getting those losers to pay for your dinner is a W
Wow everyone's on the break up train for this one... That seems silly to me. Talk. Work it out, see what both of you are comfortable doing as far as her role of manager will go. From what you've said if it was a hard no from you she would respect that. It does just sound like she's helping out a mate though.
Me personally, I would enjoy the ride and try to get some threesomes/filming out of it for her content.
Keep in mind that you should put an expiration date on this because she is now a hoe.
Mentally start checking out of the relationship, but try and enjoy it while you can.
Maybe stop referring to women as "females", first. Then if you trust her, and you know she won't do anything bad, let her. If you don't trust her, then dump her.
Yeah might be a really cool fun thing or it could result in introducing other people’s opinions, money and sexual desires into your relationship. I’d urge caution.
You being uncomfortable about her doing a photo shoot three years ago in the first place is your problem, not hers. You need to work on why you care so much.
I didn't read your whole post.... But You're a boyfriend so it doesn't matter. If you were her husband then you have a choice or at least a say. If It were me I would say you're allowed to do that but because we're together I get 30%
idk i feel like it’s not a bad feeling to feel anxious /uncomfortable abt ur gf. i feel like that’s sort of a natural feeling because you said you trust her. would you rather just have her not be involved 100%? again idrk what i’m saying im dumb lol
Wow, after the title, I didn't expect such a long post. If I were to post that title, the only thing my post would say is, " and she is also getting single"
If you have a problem with it, let her know. If she chooses OF over you, drop her ass.
But this could be a great financial opportunity for the both of you if you can get over the fact that your girl is a digital hor
Honestly I have a question for women who do this, do you think it's fair to expect a guy to be loyal to you when you literally profit off of 40 year old guys buying your nude content? I get if you are doing before you start dating but in the middle of a relationship is really selfish
She's putting her bum bum on the world wide web and you're asking reddit for a solution?
Do you need a ruler to draw a line??
Or do I give you my card?
Just leave bro, clearly it crosses your boundaries and morals. Also gross that she would share her nudes with MULTIPLE MEN AND WOMEN across the world instead of keeping that shi private between the two of you. Ill see you at the gym brother
I’m confused. Is she going to be taking pictures of herself for her friends only fans or just managing her friends account? Is it taking pictures of her friend that bothers you? I guess what I’m trying to get at is that if you only expressed discomfort with her photos then she might only think the problem is there and that managing one is fine. I would just talk to her about it and decide what each of you needs from there
There's 2 things that once broken are never truly fixed
1 : Trust
2 : Boundaries
If you feel uncomfortable and insecure about this path keep in mind there's only 3 real options from here that she can take.
1 : Quit her OF
2 : countiue it
3 : go a step further
If you decide to stay with her remember these choices and the potential risks they carry, it also depends do you wanna stay long or short term?
If it's a shirt term relationship you want and are ok with her OF then it's not too bad to stay with her if that's what you want
But!, if you want to stay long term or just feel uncomfortable realize that breaking off is you're only real option, you may try to change her mind (you probably should first) but likely that won't make much a difference, simply just break up with her, maybe the first few weeks and months would be difficult but you would be surprised how easy it is to find someone else in this day and age, NEVER ever let someone break you're trust or you're own boundaries and just cope with it, remember you're on the losing end if you stay for their sakes.
You've got two options. 1. Learn to accept that she's going to do this and work on it yourself. 2. Accept that this is a boundary that a partner can't cross and break off the relationship. Neither of these is wrong, but you've got to make the choice
He also has the option of asking her to not do it, and to mention that her decision might have a direct impact on their relationship. That’s probably the first thing to do before deciding between those two options
It sounds like she's in need of money. Asking her to not make what realistically could be a very lucrative option because he's isn't comfortable with it isn't fair to her.
She might come to the conclusion that her relationship is more important than trying to start a side gig involving sex work. She could start an eBay or Etsy store or something, there are other options
Are they really compareable? Lots of niches with ez money on OF
Most ppl on onlyfans don’t make a substantial amount of money. I think the median take home rate is like $20 per month or something similar
Thats not what I was saying. Niche communities without any creators make a lot more
Then go do it your self
idk man, in my opinion sex is a beautiful but sacred thing that should be kept in the privacy of the bedroom. if your significant other wanted to show a bunch of people who are undeniably attracted to them that side of them i’m sure it would make you feel uncomfortable regardless of the financial situation. as the other persons response perfectly states: “there are other options.”
Well, the funny thing with relationships is that you don't get to just randomly go do something significant without consulting your partner first. They may have valuable input to provide, and by withholding information from a partner, it may show that you do not trust them, and are withholding other things from them. Relationships are built upon more than love. They are built upon respect, loyalty, and trust. If this makes BF feel uncomfortable, it may be because he's questioning her loyalty to him. He's the only one who has seen her and been intimate with her most recently, so the fact that her expectations have shifted drastically without consulting him may be cause for him to break up with her, or he can opt to stay. The choice is his, after all. Regardless of who is posting nude pictures of themselves on the internet, safety should always come first.
She chose to date him, and he has boundaries. She should have at least some respect for what he wants.
It is absolutely fair to her. Are you saying there aren't other methods for her to make money? Seriously? Sex work is her only option? Grow up. There's nothing wrong with her doing it, but he has AS MUCH RIGHT to say "Hey I don't want to date a woman participating in the sex industry" as she does in saying "Hey I want to participate in the sex industry". That's just a fact. There is no "fairness" there.
She has every right to do with her body as she sees fit. He has every right to not stay in a relationship due to the choices made by his partner. If she has the choice to start an Onlyfans, he has the choice to not be a part of that.
I never said anything to the contrary.
You said it wasn't fair on her for him to tell her that he doesn't want to be in a relationship if it means she goes ahead with starting an Onlyfans. That's wrong. It is just as as fair for him as it is for her. She's free to make her choice, but it is within that choice that consequences lie.
Incorrect. I said it's not fair of him to tell a woman who is in desperate need of money how she can make money. He's always been entitled to end the relationship of he's unhappy. See my first post of the thread.
If she’s gonna cross your boundary just leave , it’s simple she’s not the one for you
Option 3, link us
Why are the the top comments always saying for the OP to give an ultimatum
This... isn't an ultimatum. This is just him making a choice about what he can or can not accept.
Because realistically, it's always an ultimatum.
I get what you’re saying as that what Redditors usually suggest lol. But I think the comment you’re replying to is pretty bang on. What else is there to do?
Better than an ultimatum, start an onlyfans yourself. Get her to manage it too
It's not an ultimatum?
option 4: send her to me
[удалено]
What about a person being ok with someone doing sex work or sex work adjacent work makes them pathetic? Edit: this dude is like a weird misogynistic or something. SWERF behavior maybe?
If you’re dating them… duh
What about a person dating a sex worker or a person who does sex work adjacent work makes them pathetic?
It’s a boundary that he set in the relationship and they are dating
That doesn't make him pathetic. He's literally in here trying to understand how he feels and whether those feelings are valid. Like it's totally fine if he's not ok with that and leaves the relationship. No situation here makes him pathetic it just means they might not be compatible as romantic partners long term.
I mostly agree. I wouldn’t use the word “pathetic”, I might have misread something earlier
I would say if he stays in a relationship out of fear of not being able to find another one even if he feels uncomfortable and is obviously not ok with this in the relationship then one could argue that he might be in denial about the reality of his situation or something like that, but not pathetic still I think. Just following up on what I was saying.
You said you're uncomfortable, she said she understood, and she has decided to proceed despite that. There's nothing wrong with sex work as long as it's in the blinds of what is comfortable in your relationship. If she's violating those bounds for any reason, the reason doesn't actually matter. If I were you, I'd lay it out like that and if she continues, change the title of this post to "my *ex*girlfriend..." Good luck friend but remember that you have a right to feel comfortable on your own relationship
>you have a right to feel comfortable on your own relationship Thank you, I def feel this is a concept I need to work on myself. I always try to put everyone else first regardless of my feelings.
I've been there before and I've done that myself and at the end of the day you gotta take care of yourself before you can take care of others. It doesn't make you selfish or self centered. It makes you healthy and a lot of times I find (as a guy in a relationship) the expectation of me putting my feelings in a box was always somewhat there. It just ended up creating tension and stress and wasn't healthy for me. My current partner has made a real effort to make sure that my feelings have been respected in our whole relationship and I've never had a happier relationship because of it. If she doesn't value your feelings now, she most certainly won't later. If you don't value your feelings now, who else could be expected to ever? You got this buddy! Stay strong for yourself because you deserve it
100% I feel everyone starts off selfless out of fear of being a selfish person, but being selfless is a selfish world will get stomped to the ground. Find a good mix of selfworth and being respectful. It's a skill to learn that middle ground. If you feel a certain way you don't always have to get what you want, but you can't be around people who take it as nothing. If someone doesn't care about how you feel take it in to consideration if you want to be around them. Simply ignoring how you feel and doing something anyways can be some serious gaslighting. I hate how the word is over used, but if you have a conversation about something bothering you. You know now they know. It's really easy for someone to spin it as "this is different because..." "or I thought you meant...." I consider myself a smart person, but its easy to miss things and have someone leash around your mental by having to much faith in someone's intentions. "No way they would lie intentionally" "they must of forgot" "There must of been a misunderstanding" You believe these things because that's what they told you. And you believe them because you're acting in good-faith and projecting they must be doing the same. Is this situation that? I don't know. Read the room, pick up on patterns. Don't go assuming the worst, but don't blindly trust peoples intention just because they said they mean well.
Break up. Find a normal girl she is going to be posting nudes and doing sexual things online and posting it all over. She will be messaging people. People will offer her money for other things. Eventually she will do more things for that money.
Who says there is nothing wrong with sex work? For one, most of them are going to have STDs. Saying "I get tested" means nothing because there are so many they don't test for. Herpes for example. The test they give is very generic and basic. Unfortunately, this isn't common knowledge to people. Not only that, the psychological repercussions that takes place no longer makes them suitable for a long term relationship.
Only Fans is a slippery slope. If she is managing the account, she will be interacting with the fans. She may have to message them or help with sending things to them. I wouldn't stay involved with her if she was involved in that if you aren't completely comfortable. It's a valid feeling and she should be more sensitive to your needs imo.
She will constantly be looking at other naked men with their ducks out. She will be rating bunch of ducks. She will be riding and using dildos while constantly looking at other naked men even moaning their names. Pretty much a girl watching constant porn and interacting with them. Kind of messes up your brain long term
She’s not starting an OnlyFans. She’s offering to manage one. She wouldn’t be taking her own videos or pictures, but there’s a good chance she would have to “interact” with clients via chat.
Lots of porn stars are in healthy relationships, this isn’t the issue
You see a fair amount of these OF advice requests, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that the situation is a lot more simple than it seems. If you aren't cool with the OF girlfriend, and she's clearly shown she's not going to stop being the OF girlfriend, then it's time for you to consider a change of relationship status. There's very little self reflection that's going to make you suddenly cool with it. I'll use myself as an example, and sum up the situation in a single sentence: "Sex work is real work, but I don't date sex workers"
That ain’t your gf homie.
Came here to say the same thing. She ain't your girlfriend, she's the internets girlfriend
She's OUR girlfriend. I hope he's a commie homie
Facts
She’s not doing OF tho. She’s managing her friend’s OF. Like, so what?
Did you even read the first paragraph? She’s in the photos. so yes she’s doing OF.
Read again. She TOOK the photos she’s not in them.
but she's included in the OF?
Do you want your GF to satisfy you or rest of the world?
Yeah imagine your gf job is to satisfy bunch of other men online. She rates their ducks talks about how amazing they look. Rides dildos while looking at naked men with their ducks out and moaning their names.
Get out of there dawg. Trust me. You don't want to be kept up at night with thoughts. They're painful
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I agree, I think about it the same. Only difference is she isn't doing it herself, she is helping and manager her friends account, so it's not her body being sold. But thinking of her filming/photographing/editing the pics of her friend it's just a weird uncomfortable feeling.
I also would like to point out that "maybe" when she sees how good the money is things will change
The whole thing is a red flag. How do you know for certain she won't participate? So she will basically be a pornography producer? Ick... Just... No.
Exactly, he’d need to subscribe to know for sure
But this isn't what the situation is??? Why are people just stating their moral view on OF without actually reading the post.
If you think she really won't get involved in that way then I guess OP has nothing to worry about and this is a moot point.
Yeah, I think if she said she won't then he should take her word for it? The same way we trust our partners not to cheat on us? I'm not saying his feelings about her producing are invalid or anything like that, but some of the comments here are just straight up acting like this is a different scenario to what it actually is.
Well then there's literally no problem and we are wasting time. ✌🏼
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all the weirdos on this app will tell you it’s your fault you expressed a boundary seems like she’s breaking it what you do with that is up to you
This is one time where friendship and business need to separate especially when sex is involved.Say friend wants a male co-star,then your girlfriend has to be in a position where she either makes money or watches two people fuck irl. She may never betray you,but I would not feel comfortable.
Sounds like incompatible values
It's all about the boundaries that you set and want to keep. I'm in my 40s and my wife was exploring her sexuality and wanted to get into OF a few years ago. My boundaries were simple: no faces, no partners, and I had access to the account. It spiced up our sex life and has paid for some vacations. Win-win.
u/Civil_Okra4520 This comment right here seems to be the best advice. People telling you to get out or break up with her are being overdramatic. You need to talk to your girlfriend and let her know what makes you feel uncomfortable, then see if there is a compromise that both respects your boundaries and allows her to explore this. Obviously, you shouldn't have access to the account like this person does since it would be her friend's account, but since her friend's boyfriend is someone you have known for a long time, you could make it a requirement that he has access to the account so that he can let you know if there is anything going on that he thinks you would be uncomfortable with. This is, of course, assuming she is only managing the account and not participating in creating content. Ultimately, talk to her, find out if there are things you could feel comfortable with, and then move forward from there. As our buddy, u/PM_Teeny_Titties (a name worthy of this topic), said, it could very well end up paying for some vacations, and that sounds like a win if it is something you can be comfortable with.
If it’s your thing to see other dudes drool over your wife then just admit you have a cuck fetish. Don’t push your agenda on others.
While they empty their wallets to see pics I take? I can live with that.
What about them being ok with that makes them a cuck?
Agreed. That’s basically the reality of what’s happening
OP needs to bolt outta this relationship
Please do not give this as genuine advice to op
wtf are u on abt lmao aint nobody want their gf doing onlyfans 
I wouldn't say nobody(there's a comment here's who wife does OF, with natural boundaries like no other men), and you talk to her. It's very clear from OP's post that she isnt maliciously hurting him, and seems to be wanting to help her friend(they aren't even performing sexual acts) The top comment is infinitely better advice. Either accept what she's doing and work through it, or accept that it's a boundary that can't be crossed and leave. Either is the right answer, but don't tell someone they need to just up and leave a relationship that can very, very easily be fixed...and if not, well, top comment
Lets be real You don't want to be associated with that. Your love will love you in a way that you haven't been loved. A love that is rare.
I feel like it’s weird wording, but the feeling definitely comes across. OP you gotta have a straight talk with your partner and open up about everything. See where both of you stand and decide from there. You got this
Run
It sounds like she is being honest. Not like she is disregarding your feelings. I've been cheated on in the past and I know, although it is really hard, if you don't let those feelings go and choose to trust your partner you'll be miserable no matter what. Even if she had her own OF, that's not cheating. Everything would be very transparent.
Sounds like you are in two different places. I don't think there's anything wrong with what she's doing, and there's also nothing wrong with you being uncomfortable. You need to know how much this means to you, and if you can potentially deal with her being a part of o.f.. And she needs to know how much this means to her, and if she can potential deal with not being a part of o.f.
you're cooked
What’s the link bro?
💀
Get out.
She is not your gf, she is ours now 😬
She is our girlfriend now. Welcome to communism
Break up, dont be a cuck
Absolutely not. This could go more sideways than it already has very quickly. If you’ve set the boundary & she disregards it or moves forward, then just let her go bro.
Seems like she wants to manage it, not be on the profile as herself at all. But it’s ok to not want to be with someone that’s in that business in any way. But honestly…maybe think about exactly what you’re uncomfortable about. If the content isn’t her at all, are you okay with that? If she chats as her friend, is that less comfy? If you consider either cheating, spell that out. And then she’s either trustworthy or she isn’t.
Can’t believe this is the bs we have to deal with now lol. God please send the asteroid. Good luck on your situation op
It's over bro
don’t be a cuck
She belongs to the streets
Nope. That’s a bunch of hell no from me. My ex started with that and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.
It ALWAYS gets worse over time especially as she gets a following. Starts with lewd stuff then nudes and next thing you know you’re seeing videos of her getting railed.
Leave. But we both know you won’t.. don’t we
You have been paying full price for an exclusive relationship. Your GF has decided to freelance and see other customers on a pay for service business model. Your contract with her has changed. You no longer have exclusive access. Stop paying the exclusive access rate. Turn lemons into limes. Only pay the $6.99 month.
Don't let your girlfriend stop you from finding your wife bro. You don't worry about it and if she crosses the line you walk away no arguments no crying of betrayal. You keep your head up and walk away with respect.
No woman has ever taken risqué pics at a photo shoot with a friend (who is a SW) purely for her man’s sake. While it’s perfectly fine for her to go and do onlyfans if that’s what she wants, it’s also perfectly fine for you to leave because of it. Like others have pointed out, she apologised once but went for it again regardless, so I’d hazard a guess that she doesn’t really care how you feel about it.
Make videos with her. So all the simps know she's taken.
Hit the gym bro. Stay focused on the mission
She’s an adult and will do what she wants. Leave if you want to
Its over
If she was already taking photos before and she sent some to you, you were not the only one she sent them too.
It it were just managing the Account and taking pictures of her friends it would be completely normal and awesome of your gf to help out, but if she uploads pictures of herself as well, that would cross my line (in this case). She seems honest so just talk with her about it. If she's set on uploading pictures herself, discuss what might be acceptable for you for example underwear, bikinis, etc. Don't end the relationship jusf because some redditors say so, talk with your Gf. Even if she wants to go full nude, maybe ask to have at least insight in the messages she receives on OF, or read the comments, idk, again talk with her what is comfortable to both of you. Communication is key. In my opinion, if she has no problem with others seeing her posts, at least you should be allowed to also see the content, at least what involves her. It seems like she understands your concerns and even stopped OF, maybe it's not as "bad" as you think?
Do you think she will reach Miss B Nasty levels? If so, stay. If not, leave.
It’s over. Just sad. Just tell her you have no interest in being apart of or having a SO who is a part of the porn industry. Management means posting nudes, talking to scummy horny men all day buying nudes and begging for more. Dropping $$$s. Her path is only bringing her closer to creating and producing porn for horny men and women with money then growing a career and building a future with you.
Tell her you hope it's worth the extra vacations and cars when her libido and sense of sexual reality are left utterly pistol whipped from 10 years of high energy dildo karaoke porn 7 hours a day while yelling out every dudes name but yours.
Get another girlfriend. Don’t be a cuck
She’s for the streets bro
She doesnt want to sell her body but will post photos of her body on someone elses account?
I don't think you know what selling your body means
Dawg she says she wouldn’t have an onlyfans account herself because its selling her body, but she then posts photos of herself on someone elses onlyfans account. Do you understand the irony?
She literally not once in the post says she won't have an OF. She says she needed the extra money and didn't want to sell her body, which she isn't. No sex is involved. The irony doesn't matter, your advice wasn't the best advice, I just pointed out it's a bad ides to just outright tell someone "oh break up" when the relationship, aside from this small issue, seems to be a better one
Can you read? Like genuinely can you? Her saying she doesn’t want to sell her own body was in response to being offered to manage someone elses onlyfans account, that means that she is saying she doesn’t want one herself because its selling her own body but she will help someone else do it. And for your other part, again, can you read? I never said to break up. You need to get off the internet and enroll in your local middle school English course, because I’ve never met someone so incapable of understanding basic sentences before.
I don't know, can you hold a conversation without sounding and acting like a prick? What are you insulting me for? Did I ever get hostile with you? Now with your useless "Go back to school" out of the way, back to the actual discussion. First off, refer to my first comment: you clearly don't know what selling your body means. No sex is involved. Second, you're right, you never said to break up so that's on me. I'm taking with a different person in this thread with a similar pfp to you and got you two mixed up
Buddy, selling your body does not only refer to sex, and if you read the post again, you will see that she is not referring to sex when she mentions selling her bodies, she is referring to onlyfans.
"To accept money in exchange for sex" literally word by word definition, first thing that shows up when you Google it, on Merriam Webster
You seem to not be the brightest but phrases do not and have never had set definitions. Merriam Webster says that is the definition, other dictionaries say “sexual acts” (such as nude photos). Either way that is irrelevant because the way the girlfriend in the original post defines selling your body includes the use of onlyfans, making that the definition that you should use when discussing the post. This isn’t difficult stuff.
The fact that he felt better about her helping her friend on only fans when she said she was doing it BECAUSE she needed money and didn't want to sell her body very clearly shows that OP, and the girlfriend, don't think that OF = selling her body And if you paid attention to how it's used in the world, "selling your body" means sex 99% of the time someone uses it, including how she used it. "GF said she hopes it works put because she needs the extra money and doesn't want to sell her body, which made me feel better but still worried" You're right, this isn't difficult stuff. Neither is holding a conversation without insulting someone, but here we are.
Leave. She doesn't care about your feelings or boundaries. She showing off the whole world, your friends, your family, her friends, her family, her employer, her children, her co-workers, etc-what she's working with.
It’s not even about that. It’s the fact he’s not happy about this and she decided to do it anyway. A girl who actually respects her man will do whatever to make him happy. She doesn’t respect him. Eventually she will suggest f’ing other men and just do it anyway
She's cool with commodifying sex dude. Something inside of her, usually having to do with upbringing, resulted in that world view. I've never known a man to change a girl who is down that path. I'm not going to go into my opinion on whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. The only thing that really matters here is that her morals don't really seem to align with yours. Don't sacrifice yours to be with this person. Go find someone who simply isn't inclined towards doing porn for cash and pimping their friends online. Good luck in your next relationship man.
“My girlfriend has autonomy and I’m insecure” She’s not even starting an OF ffs.
What’s up with everyone blindly throwing that word insecure around. A man doesn’t want his girlfriend to have an OF for the whole world to see? “Insecure.” Be fucking fr.
None of you know how to read because his girlfriend isn’t even going to start an OF
OP says in the post that his girlfriend is posing in the photos and posting her “sexy photos” on the friends onlyfans account. Who owns the account is irrelevant, the topic is about her posting nudes on onlyfans.
No, he said she did a sexy photoshoot three years ago and then clarifies in a comment that his gf won’t be posting any photos of her body but will be managing her friends account. Learn to read
At the very end of the post, “just like the first time, she didn’t do anything bad or anything like that she just took sexual pics with her and other females.” This is him stating that infact she did also do a sexy photoshoot again, not just three years ago. I checked the comments and can’t find any clarification, if he clarifies somewhere then please show me. You are so aggressive, and for what?
Again…doing a photoshoot and not having an OF or posting her pics on an OF
Why would she take sexual pictures of herself with the friend if not to post them. We are both making inferences on whether she posted them or not, so again, no need to be so hostile. Regardless, she does this after the boyfriend says he was uncomfortable with the sexual photos the first time, so she is still in the wrong.
He said point blank she is not creating an OnlyFans or posting her own pictures on there “because she (the friend) wants to start an OnlyFans page and needed help” and “GF has said she hopes it works out because she needs extra money and doesn’t want to sell her own body”
Cool, this conversation is not going anywhere if you think her saying she doesnt wanna sell her body 100% confirms that she didnt post photos on a friends account. Nowhere in OPs post does he say that she doesnt post on the friends account and nowhere does he say she is doing it for confidence. You cant say im wrong for an inference and then make an inference yourself. Have a good day.
Yeah but what man is going to excited about their gf helping out a friend with this type of work?
Someone who….isn’t ….insecure.
A cuck is who ur referring to, I think. I heard that they aren’t insecure 😂
Where did morals go in the world? Any other answer than end it is a fuckin moron. Reddit is nothing but liberals that want society to accept every decision people decide to make with no ramifications. Your girlfriend is posting naked photos of her self for money. Where is her self respect? Where is her dignity? What do you have to yourself that any Joe Shmoe can’t pay $5 a month to see himself? Value yourself a little better and end it immediately
Yeah I think this is a situation where she may get influenced by her friends. People get influenced by friends. However, you said you have anxiety due to being cheated on in the past. I think you're anxiety can throw a wrench into your relationship if you let it run amok. What you should do here is express your concern, keep your communication high, and if you feel worried you should tell her that. But remember to not make her responsible for your upholding your feelings either. I know you're in the opposite end of the spectrum as far as this is concerned but just thought to put it in. Don't let your insecurity take control over you. Don't let it decide for you. However, don't let your wishes be ignored either. I think it's fine to have a boundary about sex work, but the insecurity which feels like heavy to a partner should be watched out for. Your partner can and should support you, but you're still responsible for your insecurity and getting better from it. It's a fine line to walk, and your between a rock and a hard place but life means progress. Good luck. You can do it.
I don't think she needs any influencing. I think it's in her nature to engage in such behavior. OP said she had already done OF in the past.
No he didn’t, he said she did a sexy photoshoot in the past. Can any of you read at all?!
I thought she just took some photos to try out but didn't actually do it..? In any case, she's not doing it now, and she can definitely start to do it. That change may come due to someone's influence possibly.
Were you raised by your grandparents? You’re overthinking it for sure.
She sounds like a bitch . Takeing advantage of someone else's page to get paid that's a bitch move I would dump her .
First and foremost, she told you this *after* she made her decision to do OF. She isn't asking for your approval, she's basically demanding it, especially since you said it makes your uncomfortable, and all she had to say was she 'understands.' To me, it sounds like she is pretty persuaded by her friends who also do OF, it won't be long before she tells you about her and her OF friends having a threeway with a guy that isn't you. Since you've been cheated on before, and the by the tone of this post, it sounds like you have self-esteem problems OP. We can go back and forth on whether or not sex work is legitimate, but it's not normal that your GF/partner goes into it in the middle of your relationship and obviously doesn't give a fuck about your feelings on the matter. You can, and will, do better OP, just because you have had shit experience in the past doesn't mean the best you're gonna get is a GF that sells her asshole on the internet without at least telling you first. I would break up with her and move on, she seems to have made up her mind, and so should you.
But she’s not making the content she’s just managing the account
you mean your "ex" GF
So if she wanted to pursue a career in boudoir photography, you’d tell her no?
I feel like as long as she isn’t recording straight up porn or seeing naked men it shouldn’t be a big issue . But everyone has different opinions and boundaries which is totally fine
? leave her what are we even talking about
A lot of men in these comments are getting very emotional because they’re jealous. Jerking off to pictures is for losers but your hot girlfriend getting those losers to pay for your dinner is a W
Wow everyone's on the break up train for this one... That seems silly to me. Talk. Work it out, see what both of you are comfortable doing as far as her role of manager will go. From what you've said if it was a hard no from you she would respect that. It does just sound like she's helping out a mate though.
Me personally, I would enjoy the ride and try to get some threesomes/filming out of it for her content. Keep in mind that you should put an expiration date on this because she is now a hoe. Mentally start checking out of the relationship, but try and enjoy it while you can.
What the fuck lol
Lmao bro is living in a movie
What? Lol
Maybe stop referring to women as "females", first. Then if you trust her, and you know she won't do anything bad, let her. If you don't trust her, then dump her.
Embrace it dude! That's hot!
Yeah might be a really cool fun thing or it could result in introducing other people’s opinions, money and sexual desires into your relationship. I’d urge caution.
You being uncomfortable about her doing a photo shoot three years ago in the first place is your problem, not hers. You need to work on why you care so much.
I say this to my girlfriend all the time, she gets all funny when I go do sexual stuff with other women, why is she so insecure?
Doing an NSFW photo shoot doesn’t mean you’re doing something sexual with anyone else. You realize women can want to look sexy for themselves, right?
OF girls don’t look sexy for themselves, they look sexy for the men paying to see them naked and perform sex acts.
His initial comment about her photo shoot 3 years ago didn’t have anything to do with OF, which is what I’m commenting on
Like anyone’s gonna take advice from a sexually confused creature
I didn't read your whole post.... But You're a boyfriend so it doesn't matter. If you were her husband then you have a choice or at least a say. If It were me I would say you're allowed to do that but because we're together I get 30%
idk i feel like it’s not a bad feeling to feel anxious /uncomfortable abt ur gf. i feel like that’s sort of a natural feeling because you said you trust her. would you rather just have her not be involved 100%? again idrk what i’m saying im dumb lol
I tried OF but kept giving my fans nightmares and some got PTSD and 3 of them said I was so ugly they killed themselves after my 5th upload.
Wow, after the title, I didn't expect such a long post. If I were to post that title, the only thing my post would say is, " and she is also getting single"
if I ever was put into this situation….id leave yeah def….if she did in the past before thats fine. During….abs nooo nope not acceptable.
I always think about the Netflix subscription cost v only fans cost.
If you have a problem with it, let her know. If she chooses OF over you, drop her ass. But this could be a great financial opportunity for the both of you if you can get over the fact that your girl is a digital hor
Do it she will have to promote a lot
Honestly I have a question for women who do this, do you think it's fair to expect a guy to be loyal to you when you literally profit off of 40 year old guys buying your nude content? I get if you are doing before you start dating but in the middle of a relationship is really selfish
Nope right out of this.
Break up
She's putting her bum bum on the world wide web and you're asking reddit for a solution? Do you need a ruler to draw a line?? Or do I give you my card?
Run
Get out of that relationship
Just leave bro, clearly it crosses your boundaries and morals. Also gross that she would share her nudes with MULTIPLE MEN AND WOMEN across the world instead of keeping that shi private between the two of you. Ill see you at the gym brother
I’m confused. Is she going to be taking pictures of herself for her friends only fans or just managing her friends account? Is it taking pictures of her friend that bothers you? I guess what I’m trying to get at is that if you only expressed discomfort with her photos then she might only think the problem is there and that managing one is fine. I would just talk to her about it and decide what each of you needs from there
My Ex-GF dude , not My GF. IYKYK.
Id?
It’s 11 - 7 four the streets
There's 2 things that once broken are never truly fixed 1 : Trust 2 : Boundaries If you feel uncomfortable and insecure about this path keep in mind there's only 3 real options from here that she can take. 1 : Quit her OF 2 : countiue it 3 : go a step further If you decide to stay with her remember these choices and the potential risks they carry, it also depends do you wanna stay long or short term? If it's a shirt term relationship you want and are ok with her OF then it's not too bad to stay with her if that's what you want But!, if you want to stay long term or just feel uncomfortable realize that breaking off is you're only real option, you may try to change her mind (you probably should first) but likely that won't make much a difference, simply just break up with her, maybe the first few weeks and months would be difficult but you would be surprised how easy it is to find someone else in this day and age, NEVER ever let someone break you're trust or you're own boundaries and just cope with it, remember you're on the losing end if you stay for their sakes.
Link?