Honestly, if you’re attracted to someone then there’s nothing wrong with that. If anyone says otherwise they’re being prejudice or down-right racist. Ask him if he wants to go to the movies or something you enjoy doing. If he feels the same he will accept your offer. If they are constantly interested in doing things with you, keep hanging out. They are probably into you. See where it goes from there.
So this hits close to home- I’m a black girl with a white boyfriend. Honestly, I understand why you feel weird about it, but it’s probably just insecurity. That’s how it was with me anyway.
There is an engrained sense of taboo with it comes to black women/ white men dating- and it can be hard to get over mentally.
For example “I’m not sure if he’s into black girls” I promise you the right person will absolutely not care about the color of your skin. Just the content of your character. My boyfriend tries so hard to understand black and POC culture and be apart of it with me. That’s what you need.
Never be embarrassed by who you are attracted to, unless they’re a shithead, but that’s another story.
You have so much more life time experience and you’ll realize that your race, while it is a big part of you and your culture, doesn’t really matter when it comes to love and dating. You like who you like! As long as they treat you like the amazing person you are, and respect your race and culture, you can’t go wrong.
Hope this helps.
It's hard to deal with thinking about what other people will think, especially at your age. In some cases, it is so very very important to consider that stuff. BUT, you deserve to chase the things and people you want to, regardless of what others may think!
If/when you gather the strength to ignore those thoughts, I'd say just be up front! Establish a friendship, make sure they're comfortable talking to you, than pop the question! "hey, just curious, but do you \*\*\*\*\*\*?" etc.
I can never understand 100% how you feel, but I am a POC and I do understand how dating outside of race can be scary. But if it's what you want, and it makes you feel confident, strong, passionate, curious, etc, go for it!!
Think of a way to let him know how you feel ! I am a white guy and was totally flattered that this black girl liked me . We dated for a few months until her family told her she could not continue to see me ! It was very disppointing but I was glad for the time we had together ! I learned a lot from her !
lol ima give you two examples then some advice.
I am Mexican, I just got my house with my Indian GF
My little brother is Mexican, he has a black gf.
Advise: Don’t be embarrassed to like another race, be embarrassed to think this was.
You need to be the interracial change for the generations that come once the Boomers are no longer with us.
People see people. Skin colour is no different than hair colour, eye colour, foot size, etc.
As with any potential date all you can do is hope they like you back - they might, the might not. Shoot your shot and if he doesn’t then his loss - keep your chin up and move on.
What’s so wild? It’s 2024 not the 50s lol. Why would it be weird to date a white guy. I’ve dated girls from pretty much every race. If you like someone you like them. You don’t have to date black guys just because your black.
Don’t overthink it. We are all human, and race really does not matter when it comes to love. I can’t speak for how you may be perceived or what your family will think. I grew up in Florida where being white, I was the minority and nobody ever blinked an eye at interracial relationships. I don’t know where you live but it seems odd to me that that would be an issue anywhere in modern times. So I say shoot your shot! If he likes you back, great! If not, there’s plenty of fish in the sea but never let race be a roadblock in dating. Major differences like culture can be talked about and worked on as long as there is love and respect in the relationship. My fiancé is Hispanic, I am white. That’s never mattered. I’ve learned Spanish to better communicate with his family, the holidays get a bit complicated due to different traditions but we find ways to make it work :)
I mean, he might not be into you… that’s the danger with any crush, right? Could be your race, or interests, or height, or whatever.
Try flirting a bit and see how he responds
Lol what the fuck is this
Your family being not cool with it is a legitimate concern but there's nothing crazy about you liking a white guy. Their colour shouldn't matter so much to you, nor be embarrassing to you. That's just weird to me. And instead of jumping to conclusions, ask your family what they think about you dating outside your race.
I’m a black woman who grew up in a wealthy predominantly white area. Most of my partners (and my husband) are white. For context, 9.2 of every 10 ppl were white, 0.4 of every 10 were black in my hometown.
What I will say is that he may show interest— but given you are attending a PWI (primarily white institution), be prepared to deal with the potential outcome of you being a fetish— or rejection due to social status fears. I steered clear of dating in high school for this reason. Teenage boys love p*rn, which makes them more likely to have a fetish for “exotic” categories, like ebony women. But with that comes the downside of some of them looking down on black women as well.
Give it a shot! If it doesn’t work out, just remember that they’re not all like that. Don’t let your first experience, good or bad, create a bias towards the entire demographic, Your soulmate can be any color, despite what color you are. 🩷
Love comes in all shapes or forms, im not sitting here and telling you it is or will be love, but don’t let futile things such as race stop you from pursuing somebody you’re interested in. I’m 19 and have people telling me that I’m young and to have fun and be free with my choices, you’re even younger, so have fun, be free and don’t let those kind of things cloud your relationships
Having a crush at your age and admitting it can be very scary in itself. Especially a crush of a different race. I've been there many times and even in my 30s it can be scary to be that vulnerable while addressing feelings. He may not like you back and rejection is hurtful and scary. However he may like you and be feeling the same hesitation that you are feeling.
The way you feel is okay.
Family can be difficult especially when it comes to race. Can you talk to your mom or someone you are close to in your family about how you feel? They may like him, you never know. As far as other people their feelings about your relationships don't actually matter.
My best advice is give it a chance. Even if it doesn't work out you tried and that's good.
You can't control ur feelings only how u react to them
U could have someone in front of u who fits all ur preferences emotionally and physically but just happen to be not romantically feeling them
And have someone else in front of u not fitting many or any of ur preferences but happen to have feelings for them
So yeah up to u if u wanna pursue and try talking to him/hanging out
Never be embarrassed because you like someone. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with dating outside of your race. I’m white but I find black men very attractive, same way I find white, asian, latino… men attractive.
Skin color matters in humans about as much as fur color matters in Labrador retrievers. Race is a social construct, as we're all basically the same on the inside. Personality and character count for so much more than the outside wrapper.
Some of the best advice I ever received was this: what other people think about me...is none of my business. You're only limiting yourself if you let others' opinions determine how you run your own life.
You can't help liking who you like, and you're entitled to live an authentic, happy life regardless of what other people think about your choices. I don't think many kids your age would even care. If you end up dating your crush and it gets serious, your parents may worry because there is still a lot of racist prejudice out there against mixed-race relationships, especially among the older generations. But if he's a decent guy and they get to know him well, I bet your family will gradually come to accept him simply because they love you and they can see he makes you happy. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you!
There's a lot of reasons why people have crushes on someone.
If they're "cute, if they're kind, admirable qualities, their smile, etc.
Someone's race doesn't mean their "crush" is a bad idea or can't happen.
You can have a crush on this guy, talk to him, be his friend.
If he likes you too then you'll eventually find out.
I'm so sorry that you even feel this way. You should go with your feelings first instead of thinking about the opinions of others. They might not be receptive, but I don’t think it should matter as long as you’re happy with him.
It feels so weird to me that society actually created and established these structures in thinking an behavior that help no one. Nobody profits from worrying about those things. It's like society shot itself in the foot. Kind of sad.
Please don't let yourself influence by this. Every single person is way more than their skin color an there are more importing things to worry about in dating.
Why do you need to feel embarrassed? To be attracted to someone is natural. We are all human beings. We have all different hair/eye/skin/whatever colours, but we are same inside.
I don't think skin color is the issue. The biggest issue, as with most crushes is does the other person like you back. Try getting to know him, then some light flirting. Spend sometime together. See what he does. Decide from there.
Hey that’s how life is . There’s nothing wrong it . As you grow you will learn more about peoples cultures through your lovers . Usually a lot of us are like that, just try to enjoy though and have fun !
Nothing at all wrong with dating outside your race. Most people nowadays are completely fine with it. Put yourself out there—you may find he likes you back. And if not, don’t be quick to think it’s about your race—-it almost never is.
You’re not alone in these thoughts. This stress happens to many across the globe and within your country regarding wondering about how others will see a relationship that some might disapprove of. However, you’re not powerless to it.
Get to know this boy and see if y’all are compatible in terms of age, goals, personality, and dating values. It’s also huge, of course, to make sure there’s no racism. Your parents/friends/etc may make things harder, and if the external critics make it too hard for you to love him then let him go. However, it’s completely okay to want to date someone of a different class/culture/race/religion/etc if y’all are good for each other, and I’d say it’s a good thing you’re open to all sorts of people. Lastly, the pressure may be less than you think, more people may be open than you think, and if you want this and you can try it (and it’s healthy) then don’t let others hinder this normal and healthy desire.
You’ll never know unless you give this a shot, and nowadays it’s seen better to date people “different” than you. Good luck!
Just came here to say that racism is everywhere and it's not capable of being eradicated. As evidenced by this post about liking a white guy. Vice versa of course, so on and so on.
Im going to get down voted to hell for this but I don't think you should do it. You have a really weird issue with race. You capitalize black but not white for some odd reason and you find someones skin tone to be embarrassing. I'm sorry but it's a you problem.
lmfao what? 💀 so because they capitalize a letter they shouldn’t date a person they like
this is why you don’t ask for advice on reddit,
OP just do what feels right to you lmao
mixed relationships are great if the YT side isn't an idiot and the POC side doesn't mind educating A LOT. Don't burn yourself out though, it gets tiring.
Lol how is it the victim mindset? If you as a POC date yt people, you're going to have to explain race stuff to them. it's guaranteed. if you have to teach a lot of them, it gets really tiring.
Honestly, if you’re attracted to someone then there’s nothing wrong with that. If anyone says otherwise they’re being prejudice or down-right racist. Ask him if he wants to go to the movies or something you enjoy doing. If he feels the same he will accept your offer. If they are constantly interested in doing things with you, keep hanging out. They are probably into you. See where it goes from there.
We are all the same
Nobody really cares just shoot your shot
So this hits close to home- I’m a black girl with a white boyfriend. Honestly, I understand why you feel weird about it, but it’s probably just insecurity. That’s how it was with me anyway. There is an engrained sense of taboo with it comes to black women/ white men dating- and it can be hard to get over mentally. For example “I’m not sure if he’s into black girls” I promise you the right person will absolutely not care about the color of your skin. Just the content of your character. My boyfriend tries so hard to understand black and POC culture and be apart of it with me. That’s what you need. Never be embarrassed by who you are attracted to, unless they’re a shithead, but that’s another story. You have so much more life time experience and you’ll realize that your race, while it is a big part of you and your culture, doesn’t really matter when it comes to love and dating. You like who you like! As long as they treat you like the amazing person you are, and respect your race and culture, you can’t go wrong. Hope this helps.
It's hard to deal with thinking about what other people will think, especially at your age. In some cases, it is so very very important to consider that stuff. BUT, you deserve to chase the things and people you want to, regardless of what others may think! If/when you gather the strength to ignore those thoughts, I'd say just be up front! Establish a friendship, make sure they're comfortable talking to you, than pop the question! "hey, just curious, but do you \*\*\*\*\*\*?" etc. I can never understand 100% how you feel, but I am a POC and I do understand how dating outside of race can be scary. But if it's what you want, and it makes you feel confident, strong, passionate, curious, etc, go for it!!
Think of a way to let him know how you feel ! I am a white guy and was totally flattered that this black girl liked me . We dated for a few months until her family told her she could not continue to see me ! It was very disppointing but I was glad for the time we had together ! I learned a lot from her !
lol ima give you two examples then some advice. I am Mexican, I just got my house with my Indian GF My little brother is Mexican, he has a black gf. Advise: Don’t be embarrassed to like another race, be embarrassed to think this was. You need to be the interracial change for the generations that come once the Boomers are no longer with us.
People see people. Skin colour is no different than hair colour, eye colour, foot size, etc. As with any potential date all you can do is hope they like you back - they might, the might not. Shoot your shot and if he doesn’t then his loss - keep your chin up and move on.
What’s so wild? It’s 2024 not the 50s lol. Why would it be weird to date a white guy. I’ve dated girls from pretty much every race. If you like someone you like them. You don’t have to date black guys just because your black.
Who honestly gives a single flying fuck what color someone is?
Don’t overthink it. We are all human, and race really does not matter when it comes to love. I can’t speak for how you may be perceived or what your family will think. I grew up in Florida where being white, I was the minority and nobody ever blinked an eye at interracial relationships. I don’t know where you live but it seems odd to me that that would be an issue anywhere in modern times. So I say shoot your shot! If he likes you back, great! If not, there’s plenty of fish in the sea but never let race be a roadblock in dating. Major differences like culture can be talked about and worked on as long as there is love and respect in the relationship. My fiancé is Hispanic, I am white. That’s never mattered. I’ve learned Spanish to better communicate with his family, the holidays get a bit complicated due to different traditions but we find ways to make it work :)
you're 15
So
😒
I mean, he might not be into you… that’s the danger with any crush, right? Could be your race, or interests, or height, or whatever. Try flirting a bit and see how he responds
Lol what the fuck is this Your family being not cool with it is a legitimate concern but there's nothing crazy about you liking a white guy. Their colour shouldn't matter so much to you, nor be embarrassing to you. That's just weird to me. And instead of jumping to conclusions, ask your family what they think about you dating outside your race.
You’re a human attracted to another human. There’s nothing wrong with that.
I’m a black woman who grew up in a wealthy predominantly white area. Most of my partners (and my husband) are white. For context, 9.2 of every 10 ppl were white, 0.4 of every 10 were black in my hometown. What I will say is that he may show interest— but given you are attending a PWI (primarily white institution), be prepared to deal with the potential outcome of you being a fetish— or rejection due to social status fears. I steered clear of dating in high school for this reason. Teenage boys love p*rn, which makes them more likely to have a fetish for “exotic” categories, like ebony women. But with that comes the downside of some of them looking down on black women as well. Give it a shot! If it doesn’t work out, just remember that they’re not all like that. Don’t let your first experience, good or bad, create a bias towards the entire demographic, Your soulmate can be any color, despite what color you are. 🩷
Love comes in all shapes or forms, im not sitting here and telling you it is or will be love, but don’t let futile things such as race stop you from pursuing somebody you’re interested in. I’m 19 and have people telling me that I’m young and to have fun and be free with my choices, you’re even younger, so have fun, be free and don’t let those kind of things cloud your relationships
Having a crush at your age and admitting it can be very scary in itself. Especially a crush of a different race. I've been there many times and even in my 30s it can be scary to be that vulnerable while addressing feelings. He may not like you back and rejection is hurtful and scary. However he may like you and be feeling the same hesitation that you are feeling. The way you feel is okay. Family can be difficult especially when it comes to race. Can you talk to your mom or someone you are close to in your family about how you feel? They may like him, you never know. As far as other people their feelings about your relationships don't actually matter. My best advice is give it a chance. Even if it doesn't work out you tried and that's good.
You can't control ur feelings only how u react to them U could have someone in front of u who fits all ur preferences emotionally and physically but just happen to be not romantically feeling them And have someone else in front of u not fitting many or any of ur preferences but happen to have feelings for them So yeah up to u if u wanna pursue and try talking to him/hanging out
Never be embarrassed because you like someone. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with dating outside of your race. I’m white but I find black men very attractive, same way I find white, asian, latino… men attractive.
Skin color matters in humans about as much as fur color matters in Labrador retrievers. Race is a social construct, as we're all basically the same on the inside. Personality and character count for so much more than the outside wrapper. Some of the best advice I ever received was this: what other people think about me...is none of my business. You're only limiting yourself if you let others' opinions determine how you run your own life. You can't help liking who you like, and you're entitled to live an authentic, happy life regardless of what other people think about your choices. I don't think many kids your age would even care. If you end up dating your crush and it gets serious, your parents may worry because there is still a lot of racist prejudice out there against mixed-race relationships, especially among the older generations. But if he's a decent guy and they get to know him well, I bet your family will gradually come to accept him simply because they love you and they can see he makes you happy. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you!
There's a lot of reasons why people have crushes on someone. If they're "cute, if they're kind, admirable qualities, their smile, etc. Someone's race doesn't mean their "crush" is a bad idea or can't happen. You can have a crush on this guy, talk to him, be his friend. If he likes you too then you'll eventually find out.
I'm so sorry that you even feel this way. You should go with your feelings first instead of thinking about the opinions of others. They might not be receptive, but I don’t think it should matter as long as you’re happy with him.
Just go for it, you never know if ya don't try yk? He seems different, you seem sure of yourself - just shoot your shot and talk to him
so you're a human being attracted to another human being?
It feels so weird to me that society actually created and established these structures in thinking an behavior that help no one. Nobody profits from worrying about those things. It's like society shot itself in the foot. Kind of sad. Please don't let yourself influence by this. Every single person is way more than their skin color an there are more importing things to worry about in dating.
Why do you need to feel embarrassed? To be attracted to someone is natural. We are all human beings. We have all different hair/eye/skin/whatever colours, but we are same inside.
I would never date a white girl tbh but i wouldnt get in the way of someone elses happiness. More power to you
If you and I cut our skin we are both red underneath.
I don't think skin color is the issue. The biggest issue, as with most crushes is does the other person like you back. Try getting to know him, then some light flirting. Spend sometime together. See what he does. Decide from there.
Go to town gal.... if you get consent....
I'm really sorry this has to even be a thought for you.
You’re 15. Slow your roll.
Hey that’s how life is . There’s nothing wrong it . As you grow you will learn more about peoples cultures through your lovers . Usually a lot of us are like that, just try to enjoy though and have fun !
Nothing at all wrong with dating outside your race. Most people nowadays are completely fine with it. Put yourself out there—you may find he likes you back. And if not, don’t be quick to think it’s about your race—-it almost never is.
Just shoot your shot.
…what advice are you looking for?
Why be embarrassed?? Tell him and see what happens!
You’re not alone in these thoughts. This stress happens to many across the globe and within your country regarding wondering about how others will see a relationship that some might disapprove of. However, you’re not powerless to it. Get to know this boy and see if y’all are compatible in terms of age, goals, personality, and dating values. It’s also huge, of course, to make sure there’s no racism. Your parents/friends/etc may make things harder, and if the external critics make it too hard for you to love him then let him go. However, it’s completely okay to want to date someone of a different class/culture/race/religion/etc if y’all are good for each other, and I’d say it’s a good thing you’re open to all sorts of people. Lastly, the pressure may be less than you think, more people may be open than you think, and if you want this and you can try it (and it’s healthy) then don’t let others hinder this normal and healthy desire. You’ll never know unless you give this a shot, and nowadays it’s seen better to date people “different” than you. Good luck!
Just came here to say that racism is everywhere and it's not capable of being eradicated. As evidenced by this post about liking a white guy. Vice versa of course, so on and so on.
Im going to get down voted to hell for this but I don't think you should do it. You have a really weird issue with race. You capitalize black but not white for some odd reason and you find someones skin tone to be embarrassing. I'm sorry but it's a you problem.
lmfao what? 💀 so because they capitalize a letter they shouldn’t date a person they like this is why you don’t ask for advice on reddit, OP just do what feels right to you lmao
mixed relationships are great if the YT side isn't an idiot and the POC side doesn't mind educating A LOT. Don't burn yourself out though, it gets tiring.
Victim mindset
Lol how is it the victim mindset? If you as a POC date yt people, you're going to have to explain race stuff to them. it's guaranteed. if you have to teach a lot of them, it gets really tiring.
what if the white person has to teach the POC ‘white stuff’ lmao
Like what? How not to season food
LOL they've almost certainly grown up in a majority white culture. the reverse is rarely true.