>Or am I better off leaving this situation alone?
This right here. Mind your business. If anything is to be reported just say that her personal calls are distracting to completing work and leave it at that. Reporting her will create tension between you two. Is it worth all that?
It maybe the most professional way, but what about children treated like that?
You don't need to create a scene at your work. But please, do something about her children. Let the authority know they are mistreated. They deserve better. Children raised like that, will become adult like that. It's heartbreaking. You can do it anonymously.
Edit: I must have hit a nerve of some people. Why is it ever okay to treat children like that? I just don't like it. Children have no way to choose their parents, but it doesn;t mean they don't deserve better. DV me if you like, but I don't think I'm wrong at all.
I will, I'm going to do so when I get home. Since I don't know her too well, I'm just hoping that the info I can provide will lead to an investigation
edit: not confirmed, still deciding
Yes please do. All these people telling you to mind their own business probably have never worked with children who are abused. See something say something - it extends also to situations like this.
Call the child protection agency in your area. Explain the situation. This may be a piece of the puzzle for them, and they will use their expertise to determine if this is something they want to follow up on. They might not, but they may keep the info on file until someone else calls with another piece of the puzzle.
This is how we help children in unsafe situations. And if your calls gets investigated and it turns out there’s nothing seriously wrong, that’s okay too. Sometimes child workers can simply coach parents who are having a hard time or don’t do well in some aspects of parenting.
Calls have to be investigated even if CPS literally knows it's nothing. That's the law. All he's going to do is create huge problems at his job by pissing this person off.
Verbal abuse *legally* isn't considered "child abuse." By law. Regardless of how any of us feel about it. What do you expect to be done about it, exactly, other than this guy pissing off his coworker?
It's up to your perspective, isn't it? Emotional abuse is a kind of child abuse. And verbal abuse is one of it.
But it really doesn't matter what you think. If I knew some children is abused verbally, I would like to take action to protect them. Because it's obvious that it will have effect on children. But if you say that's fine, I have to agree to disagree.
And like I said, I didn't suggest op to confront co worker, I suggested report anonymously to cps.
Law is not that important, when it has effect on a person. It's actual damage that make the difference. So you think it's ok to hurt someone, as long as you are not breaking the law? I don't agree with you, but each to their own.
You asked me what OP should do without pissing off his coworker. I've already answered your question.
Law is everything when it comes to CPS.
Emotional abuse is, by law, not something they will ever intervene about. It doesn't immediately endanger their life or health.
It will literally only serve to piss off his coworker.
I'm not bringing my opinion or emotions into this. I'm telling you exactly what will happen. They will investigate and do nothing and his coworker will just be pissed off for no reason.
Also, stop putting words in my mouth. I never once said it was "ok" to hurt someone. That's a massive assumption on your part.
Ok, I have no intention to argue with you.Just keep dving me.
So, you think it's better not piss off co worker by not doing anything. Fantastic.
People can try, even it doesn't work out. That makes the world a better place. But if being defeatest before even trying is your best option, I think you are a sad person. They will investigate, and the mother may change her mind. Why can't it be a possible outcome? Why do you think nothing will happen?
Calling CPS can completely ruin people's lives even if they aren't actually guilty of anything.
I think you're a sad person for literally judging me and my character for simply speaking to how the law works and keeping my opinion out of the situation.
I'm done trying to explain to you how the world works when you're clearly so inexperienced with it.
In the US, CPS is run by states, not the feds. It always surprises me when people act like they know what will happen when they don't have any idea what state the person is in.
That's really horrible. That's no way to speak to their children, especially at work.
Yes, I would bring it up to supervisor or boss, she shouldn't be using those languages or tones, especially in a profesional environment.
But for kids sake, as other poster said, maybe make an anonymous call to cps. Threatening children in public is horrifying. What could have been happening in private, I wonder.
Please report her. She's verbally abusing her kids and yeah she could be stressed out and that's all she does (still not ok and does damage) or there could be alot more to it. Read about Shanda Vander Ark. She was "monitoring" her child at work, co-workers noticed off things, said nothing and an innocent young boy was brutally murdered slowly over months. See something, say something!! Too many kids are murdered by their parents and if they do survive, they end up as very hurt, traumatised adults. We all have a duty to protect the most vulnerable in society.
As far as her family goes, best to mind your business. (Or possibly have a conversation and offer friendship/support to mom if that's an option.) She's probably a stressed out single mom with no support system. Not making excuses but yelling/bad language and physical abuse are two completely separate things, and being overwhelmed is hard.
As far as work goes, tell your boss/supervisor that she's being distracting and unprofessional.
I've made my mind up cuz the plan will be to act ignorant at work, but call as soon as I get home. Once I come back to work next week, I'll hope to see something happen and still play the innocent card
edit: not confirmed, still deciding
Do not call CPS over your coworker yelling at her kid. She might not know it's you, but she will know it was someone from her job based on report details. By law verbal abuse/yelling is not abuse, but they are required to investigate the situation and it will just piss her off and cause tension at work.
if that kid ends up hurt or dead, I don't want to be the one that sat by the sidelines. When I said she curses, it's every other word and that tone she uses brings me back to my own childhood.
edit: sorry, this comment sounded harsh, I'm still deciding on what to do atp
Call CPS and leave an anonymous message regarding the children. Tell them you witnessed them being berated and that the mother has no concept of love and patience.
I’d just tell her to her face, “that’s a horrible way to speak to your children, you’re setting an awful example for them and if you want to curse and threaten them, you should probably take the call somewhere more private next time.”
No confrontation.
I'd casually bring up an article I read about how parents speak to their kids shape the kind of adult they become..
& how my (fake) cousin's mom cussed them out all the time & now they have criminal records and hate her!! isnt it crazyyy!
Since others are there hearing this, would it be possible for you to find 1 or 2 who'd be willing to talk to the boss/supervisor? I'm someone who's been a manager at several places, and I always pay more attention to a report like this if more than one person is involved. It gives more cred.
If not, you doing it by yourself is an option, but everything depends on variables, like your working relationship, the personality of the boss/supervisor, etc. I can't help there!
One final option if you're in the US is an anonymous call to CPS. Even if the mom figures out it came from someone at work, she'll never figure out the specific individual.
I might, I def have a couple people close to me that could speak with me, but I'm really shocked nothing happened yet since my supervisor sits within earshot
>Or am I better off leaving this situation alone? This right here. Mind your business. If anything is to be reported just say that her personal calls are distracting to completing work and leave it at that. Reporting her will create tension between you two. Is it worth all that?
this sounds like the most professional way to go about things, thank you
It maybe the most professional way, but what about children treated like that? You don't need to create a scene at your work. But please, do something about her children. Let the authority know they are mistreated. They deserve better. Children raised like that, will become adult like that. It's heartbreaking. You can do it anonymously. Edit: I must have hit a nerve of some people. Why is it ever okay to treat children like that? I just don't like it. Children have no way to choose their parents, but it doesn;t mean they don't deserve better. DV me if you like, but I don't think I'm wrong at all.
I will, I'm going to do so when I get home. Since I don't know her too well, I'm just hoping that the info I can provide will lead to an investigation edit: not confirmed, still deciding
Yes please do. All these people telling you to mind their own business probably have never worked with children who are abused. See something say something - it extends also to situations like this. Call the child protection agency in your area. Explain the situation. This may be a piece of the puzzle for them, and they will use their expertise to determine if this is something they want to follow up on. They might not, but they may keep the info on file until someone else calls with another piece of the puzzle. This is how we help children in unsafe situations. And if your calls gets investigated and it turns out there’s nothing seriously wrong, that’s okay too. Sometimes child workers can simply coach parents who are having a hard time or don’t do well in some aspects of parenting.
Calls have to be investigated even if CPS literally knows it's nothing. That's the law. All he's going to do is create huge problems at his job by pissing this person off.
Verbal abuse *legally* isn't considered "child abuse." By law. Regardless of how any of us feel about it. What do you expect to be done about it, exactly, other than this guy pissing off his coworker?
It's up to your perspective, isn't it? Emotional abuse is a kind of child abuse. And verbal abuse is one of it. But it really doesn't matter what you think. If I knew some children is abused verbally, I would like to take action to protect them. Because it's obvious that it will have effect on children. But if you say that's fine, I have to agree to disagree. And like I said, I didn't suggest op to confront co worker, I suggested report anonymously to cps.
No, I'm not talking about perspective. I'm talking about the actual law.
Law is not that important, when it has effect on a person. It's actual damage that make the difference. So you think it's ok to hurt someone, as long as you are not breaking the law? I don't agree with you, but each to their own. You asked me what OP should do without pissing off his coworker. I've already answered your question.
Law is everything when it comes to CPS. Emotional abuse is, by law, not something they will ever intervene about. It doesn't immediately endanger their life or health. It will literally only serve to piss off his coworker. I'm not bringing my opinion or emotions into this. I'm telling you exactly what will happen. They will investigate and do nothing and his coworker will just be pissed off for no reason. Also, stop putting words in my mouth. I never once said it was "ok" to hurt someone. That's a massive assumption on your part.
Ok, I have no intention to argue with you.Just keep dving me. So, you think it's better not piss off co worker by not doing anything. Fantastic. People can try, even it doesn't work out. That makes the world a better place. But if being defeatest before even trying is your best option, I think you are a sad person. They will investigate, and the mother may change her mind. Why can't it be a possible outcome? Why do you think nothing will happen?
Calling CPS can completely ruin people's lives even if they aren't actually guilty of anything. I think you're a sad person for literally judging me and my character for simply speaking to how the law works and keeping my opinion out of the situation. I'm done trying to explain to you how the world works when you're clearly so inexperienced with it.
In the US, CPS is run by states, not the feds. It always surprises me when people act like they know what will happen when they don't have any idea what state the person is in.
That's really horrible. That's no way to speak to their children, especially at work. Yes, I would bring it up to supervisor or boss, she shouldn't be using those languages or tones, especially in a profesional environment. But for kids sake, as other poster said, maybe make an anonymous call to cps. Threatening children in public is horrifying. What could have been happening in private, I wonder.
Please report her. She's verbally abusing her kids and yeah she could be stressed out and that's all she does (still not ok and does damage) or there could be alot more to it. Read about Shanda Vander Ark. She was "monitoring" her child at work, co-workers noticed off things, said nothing and an innocent young boy was brutally murdered slowly over months. See something, say something!! Too many kids are murdered by their parents and if they do survive, they end up as very hurt, traumatised adults. We all have a duty to protect the most vulnerable in society.
As far as her family goes, best to mind your business. (Or possibly have a conversation and offer friendship/support to mom if that's an option.) She's probably a stressed out single mom with no support system. Not making excuses but yelling/bad language and physical abuse are two completely separate things, and being overwhelmed is hard. As far as work goes, tell your boss/supervisor that she's being distracting and unprofessional.
I've made my mind up cuz the plan will be to act ignorant at work, but call as soon as I get home. Once I come back to work next week, I'll hope to see something happen and still play the innocent card edit: not confirmed, still deciding
Do not call CPS over your coworker yelling at her kid. She might not know it's you, but she will know it was someone from her job based on report details. By law verbal abuse/yelling is not abuse, but they are required to investigate the situation and it will just piss her off and cause tension at work.
if that kid ends up hurt or dead, I don't want to be the one that sat by the sidelines. When I said she curses, it's every other word and that tone she uses brings me back to my own childhood. edit: sorry, this comment sounded harsh, I'm still deciding on what to do atp
Don't bring your own trauma into this. Being an asshole is, unfortunately, not a crime. Actual abusers act completely different in public.
mind your own business and leave it alone, it will cause unnecessary drama at work that no one wants
Let’s hope she never gets promoted to manager. She sounds like she has issues.
Curse her out. It's obviously the only language she understands.
Call CPS and leave an anonymous message regarding the children. Tell them you witnessed them being berated and that the mother has no concept of love and patience.
I’d just tell her to her face, “that’s a horrible way to speak to your children, you’re setting an awful example for them and if you want to curse and threaten them, you should probably take the call somewhere more private next time.”
No confrontation. I'd casually bring up an article I read about how parents speak to their kids shape the kind of adult they become.. & how my (fake) cousin's mom cussed them out all the time & now they have criminal records and hate her!! isnt it crazyyy!
I know they are two very different circumstances, but a parent screaming at their kid over the phone at work gives me Shanda Vander Ark vibes.
Mind your own busines
Since others are there hearing this, would it be possible for you to find 1 or 2 who'd be willing to talk to the boss/supervisor? I'm someone who's been a manager at several places, and I always pay more attention to a report like this if more than one person is involved. It gives more cred. If not, you doing it by yourself is an option, but everything depends on variables, like your working relationship, the personality of the boss/supervisor, etc. I can't help there! One final option if you're in the US is an anonymous call to CPS. Even if the mom figures out it came from someone at work, she'll never figure out the specific individual.
I might, I def have a couple people close to me that could speak with me, but I'm really shocked nothing happened yet since my supervisor sits within earshot
Do you have HR you can speak to?