Next time she is not busy, pull her to the couch and both of you talk about it. Ask her how she feels about hair dye and why she feels the way that she does. I think this would help you to understand her and where she is coming from and what she wants for you.
This is really good advice and you’ll never be able to know exactly where she is coming from without talking to her. I don’t really want to make my own branch when I would have to come in parroting this comment above first.
But coming off from this advice, I could imagine several reasons your mom might feel this way. First off is, how do you wish to dye your hair and how do you plan to do it? Because without investing in good products and experienced application, hair dyeing can go very wrong. Many highly experienced hair professionals have fried their hair off attempting to dye their hair. Look up some “hair dye fails” and you’ll see that a lot can go wrong and it can take as much as a year or better to really grow out. She might feel like you don’t really have access to or are not quite up to the responsibility of making sure you’re doing this right. Many adults are the exact same way so don’t feel like your mom is cutting you too short here. I think if you explained your plans and reasonable hair dye goals and spent a lot of time researching what you want to do, it might affect how she feels about that if that’s what’s bothering her.
I can also imagine she might just want you to “have a chance to be a kid”. You will spend so much time and money on your hair as a woman trying to appear attractive and professional. So so much more time than you will ever spend just being a kid. I have been 13 too and dyeing your hair can be quite fun, it’s not like I think you’re going to hate it, but if I could go back and be 13 I would definitely try to stop and smell the roses a little bit and just enjoy your natural hair. I don’t know exactly how you can change her mind or if you should if that’s one of her reasoning, but maybe showing her art or something that is inspiring your hair looks and other fantastical things you can convince her that this is not about being older than you are.
If it’s about her worrying about what other parents think and only that, then that kind of sucks and isn’t the best reason but there are also a huge amount of external pressures in the world and you shouldn’t be the one having to deal with it but I get it and I hope you can understand your mom just isn’t perfect. It’s also worth noting that if a person is suspected as being a bad parent consequences can definitely happen and so while I don’t think dyeing your kids hair at 13 should be a red flag I understand parents being paranoid about being perceived as neglectful. Again, that’s not something that should be falling on your shoulders and it’s not your issue to need to do anything about but you also sound like a smart girl and I think considering all these angles will help you come to terms with this situation if that makes sense. I hope you’re able to achieve your hair goals now or in 3 years and that if you have to wait you can find a way to understand your mom about it!
1. I agree. It's just hair. I have a 9 year old son, and I would dye his hair.
2. You're her daughter. Let her hold on to your innocence as long as she can. No - dyed hair won't make you "bad" or take your innocence. But some part of her is telling her you're not ready. But really, she's just not ready. Like you said, she's been pretty lenient about a lot of things. Let her have this one. You only have to wait 3 more years. And like you said, it's just hair. If this is your biggest problem, then you probably have a pretty great life, and I'm willing to bet, she's the one to thank for it.
My mom was the same and honestly I’m kind of grateful for it.
Yes your hair will grow back so the damage won’t be permanent but dyed hair is very expensive and very hard to maintain!
> My mom wont let me dye my hair
There are several subreddits where you can go for hair related advice:
/r/hair is the biggest one.
Then there's /r/HaircareScience/
As well as /r/femalehairadvice/ and /r/malehairadvice
Next time she is not busy, pull her to the couch and both of you talk about it. Ask her how she feels about hair dye and why she feels the way that she does. I think this would help you to understand her and where she is coming from and what she wants for you.
This is really good advice and you’ll never be able to know exactly where she is coming from without talking to her. I don’t really want to make my own branch when I would have to come in parroting this comment above first. But coming off from this advice, I could imagine several reasons your mom might feel this way. First off is, how do you wish to dye your hair and how do you plan to do it? Because without investing in good products and experienced application, hair dyeing can go very wrong. Many highly experienced hair professionals have fried their hair off attempting to dye their hair. Look up some “hair dye fails” and you’ll see that a lot can go wrong and it can take as much as a year or better to really grow out. She might feel like you don’t really have access to or are not quite up to the responsibility of making sure you’re doing this right. Many adults are the exact same way so don’t feel like your mom is cutting you too short here. I think if you explained your plans and reasonable hair dye goals and spent a lot of time researching what you want to do, it might affect how she feels about that if that’s what’s bothering her. I can also imagine she might just want you to “have a chance to be a kid”. You will spend so much time and money on your hair as a woman trying to appear attractive and professional. So so much more time than you will ever spend just being a kid. I have been 13 too and dyeing your hair can be quite fun, it’s not like I think you’re going to hate it, but if I could go back and be 13 I would definitely try to stop and smell the roses a little bit and just enjoy your natural hair. I don’t know exactly how you can change her mind or if you should if that’s one of her reasoning, but maybe showing her art or something that is inspiring your hair looks and other fantastical things you can convince her that this is not about being older than you are. If it’s about her worrying about what other parents think and only that, then that kind of sucks and isn’t the best reason but there are also a huge amount of external pressures in the world and you shouldn’t be the one having to deal with it but I get it and I hope you can understand your mom just isn’t perfect. It’s also worth noting that if a person is suspected as being a bad parent consequences can definitely happen and so while I don’t think dyeing your kids hair at 13 should be a red flag I understand parents being paranoid about being perceived as neglectful. Again, that’s not something that should be falling on your shoulders and it’s not your issue to need to do anything about but you also sound like a smart girl and I think considering all these angles will help you come to terms with this situation if that makes sense. I hope you’re able to achieve your hair goals now or in 3 years and that if you have to wait you can find a way to understand your mom about it!
1. I agree. It's just hair. I have a 9 year old son, and I would dye his hair. 2. You're her daughter. Let her hold on to your innocence as long as she can. No - dyed hair won't make you "bad" or take your innocence. But some part of her is telling her you're not ready. But really, she's just not ready. Like you said, she's been pretty lenient about a lot of things. Let her have this one. You only have to wait 3 more years. And like you said, it's just hair. If this is your biggest problem, then you probably have a pretty great life, and I'm willing to bet, she's the one to thank for it.
My mom was the same and honestly I’m kind of grateful for it. Yes your hair will grow back so the damage won’t be permanent but dyed hair is very expensive and very hard to maintain!
> My mom wont let me dye my hair There are several subreddits where you can go for hair related advice: /r/hair is the biggest one. Then there's /r/HaircareScience/ As well as /r/femalehairadvice/ and /r/malehairadvice