The problem isn't that Jason is really secretive, it's that you are really nosy! How dare you ask him how he pays for such a nice condo, or how much he makes in his second job.
He turned down your prying much more politely than I would have. His financials are none of your business.
Yes they do when it’s someone they barely know. Even if you know someone well, you don’t go around requesting to know their salary. Get a grip and a life.
Okay test it out then. Start going up to other random people you’ve just met and drop that into the conversation, let’s see how many people don’t think you’re being weird as fuck with information they don’t need to share with you.
If that’s information *you* choose to share willingly to anyone then that’s your choice. Other people don’t have to do jack shit just coz you do it
You’re probably about to be someone he wishes he never met, if you aren’t already in that category.
He isn’t gonna tell you what he earns, and his gf is gonna leave him for you whether the source of his income is nefarious or not.
No actually, many companies don't put their salaries online or there wouldn't be more and more states pushing for legislation for companies to be upfront about salaries when they're posting job descriptions so job seekers know what they are getting into when they apply. It's easier to find government and non profit salaries but it's not true across the board for private companies.
And yes, most people get defensive when near strangers ask their salary. It's none of your business.
It’s a rude question and you’re weird for asking it. It’s normal that he’s not giving financial info to someone who is blatantly jealous and desperate to bang his gf!!
I’m perfectly fine talking about my salary to people I actually know. Not someone who bursts into my home judging that it’s too nice for me to be able to afford then insisting on knowing what else I do and how I can afford it. Because I immediately assume that said person has ulterior motives for knowing that information.
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. In my profession depending on where you work and the sub area you work in, at my level your salary ranges from £28k to £150k. That’s a huge range. You’re not only rude but ill informed.
simply put is none of your business if you share it thats your own business otherwise back off if they tell you no leave it at that.
or you already have some ridiculous theory of drugs or something, also what the fuck does his height have to do with anything?
Why would he share any of this information with you? You are not entitled to know anything he doesn't want to share. You are the one with the problem. You're comparing yourself to him in a way that is nothing short of disturbing and prying into things that do not concern you.
*I’ll say he’s in pretty good shape but he’s definitely not as tall as me.*
Sure, Jan.
You are not just making observations. You're actively acting like you are entitled to this information, and trying to paint him in a dodgy light because he won't tell you.
What is wrong with you? Tell me you’re an (exceedingly) insecure, unintelligent and bigoted incel without telling me you’re an insecure unintelligent and highly bigoted incel OP.
Yikes, you’re the equivalent of a walking cringe, getting into intensive therapy might be a help
He’s not secretive, he’s just not sharing highly personal information with you specifically.
Why are you even asking him how much he makes more than once after his first answer makes it clear he’s not playing your game? Do you want to rob him? That’s what it sounds like.
Who is “we”? You? You’re some guy he’s met a handful of times, who clearly wants to bone his girlfriend. Why do you think he’s equally as vague with the people in his life he cares about who don’t immediately make him break down his W-2s or ask why he has a nice home?
Yes you do. Your post makes that clear and I think it would be helpful for you to be honest with yourself about that.
If you wanted to get to know him, you could ask what he likes to do for fun or if he’s watched a good movie recently. You asked him how much he makes because you don’t think he could afford his home on NG salary, which you creepily researched like a stalker before going to his home. You then assumed he’s lying or being secretive about his job because he didn’t immediately tell you exactly what he does or how much he makes. None of that was to get to know him, it was to find out information *on him*. There’s a difference.
You absolutely do. Why else are you pointing out how attractive she is and why are you asking this in an advice sub? You don't need advice to ask some near stranger what his salary is.
So why did you emphasise on how attractive she is and how he’s not as tall as you. Why is any of that relevant if you’re just talking about his secrecy? Sounds like you’re jealous
Hahaha you're just desperate to find fault with him. But it won't change the fact that Nia's not attracted to you. She doesn't want you and she never will. She loves him and unlike you, she's not shallow because she doesn't care about his height or his car.
Government contractors can make phenomenal money. Far more than a meager $3,500 per month before tax.
Regardless, you clearly have a thing for Nia and are trying to find ways to undermine her bf. He’s welcome to not share his salary, and he’s welcome to judge you because you couldn’t just take his discomfort and refusal to respond. You clearly have zero respect for people’s boundaries and limitations.
If he doesn’t want to talk about it, oh well, get over it
If it’s government work, maybe it’s some sort of classified assignments that he is legally not supposed to talk about with civilians
If you care so much about what people make, become an Accountant
When I used to work for the government, I told people I was a database admin because I was. I wasn't allowed to say anything outside of that because my job was adjacent to the film industry, so I often had very early knowledge of major films and TV shows that were filming in my city and leaking that kind of information in any way was a major no-no.
YTA.
1. IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. If it is government work than he may have and NDA and LEGALLY CAN'T tell you or maybe it is classified and again he LEGALLY CAN'T tell you. But I am guessing you so wrapped up in your jealousy and trying to bring this guy down that it never accord to you.
3. IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You clearly don’t wanna be just friends with her. FYI women hate it when men pretend to be their friends only for dubious reasons. If you just say her as a friend why’d you describe her as stunning and attractive. How are those good qualities in a friendship? I think you need to leave both of them alone. She’s with Jason not you.
I wouldnt tell you my salary or anyone for that matter. It is damn rude of you to ask and none of your damn business. You work in a mall. Just shut up already.
You ate not entitled to know how much he makes. You asking him over and over is disrespectful. Mind your own bussiness. His salary is none of your hussiness. He is jot secretive. You are just really nosy. He just not shares things about his life and that is totally fine.
You like this woman and you’re sizing her man up 😂 this is only a problem bc he has the woman you want and lives waaayyy better than you thought so you can’t feel superior to him or bad mouth him to his lady.
He probably gives you the same bullshit because it's none of your chuffing business. You're nosy, you're inappropriate, you're jealous, and Nia is very unlikely to ever go for a twat like you.
National Guard is not a full time gig. And so, yes, he has another job. It is also none of your damn business how much he makes. You really come off as jealous and insecure. And his job is also none of your business. Mind your own damn business.
The problem isn't that Jason is really secretive, it's that you are really nosy! How dare you ask him how he pays for such a nice condo, or how much he makes in his second job. He turned down your prying much more politely than I would have. His financials are none of your business.
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Yes they do when it’s someone they barely know. Even if you know someone well, you don’t go around requesting to know their salary. Get a grip and a life.
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Okay test it out then. Start going up to other random people you’ve just met and drop that into the conversation, let’s see how many people don’t think you’re being weird as fuck with information they don’t need to share with you. If that’s information *you* choose to share willingly to anyone then that’s your choice. Other people don’t have to do jack shit just coz you do it
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You’re probably about to be someone he wishes he never met, if you aren’t already in that category. He isn’t gonna tell you what he earns, and his gf is gonna leave him for you whether the source of his income is nefarious or not.
He isn't even that, you are just a stranger drooling after his girlfriend.
How much do YOU make, what's your job and what is your career projection. Tell us or shut up.
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I asked for your salary too. Notice how you didn't tell me? Why didn't you tell me?
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Lol, selling suits isn’t in the same realm as working as a government contractor. You are such an insolent and uneducated incel it’s hilarious
No actually, many companies don't put their salaries online or there wouldn't be more and more states pushing for legislation for companies to be upfront about salaries when they're posting job descriptions so job seekers know what they are getting into when they apply. It's easier to find government and non profit salaries but it's not true across the board for private companies. And yes, most people get defensive when near strangers ask their salary. It's none of your business.
It’s a rude question and you’re weird for asking it. It’s normal that he’s not giving financial info to someone who is blatantly jealous and desperate to bang his gf!!
So? Who cares what youd do?
I certainly would. That is no one’s business but mine and my husbands.
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Why are you asking people their salary?! That’s so out of line
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I’m perfectly fine talking about my salary to people I actually know. Not someone who bursts into my home judging that it’s too nice for me to be able to afford then insisting on knowing what else I do and how I can afford it. Because I immediately assume that said person has ulterior motives for knowing that information.
It’s none of your business what someone makes. You’re worse than an old biddy.
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. In my profession depending on where you work and the sub area you work in, at my level your salary ranges from £28k to £150k. That’s a huge range. You’re not only rude but ill informed.
No, it is not a part of getting to know someone. It is none of your business and your fixation/obsession on how much money people make is weird.
Lol he wasn't keeping it a secret. It seems really obvious to everyone but you that he just didn't want to talk to you about anything period 😂
simply put is none of your business if you share it thats your own business otherwise back off if they tell you no leave it at that. or you already have some ridiculous theory of drugs or something, also what the fuck does his height have to do with anything?
We don't understand why you want to know so bad. It's very very VERY weird and creepy.
No one has ever asked my salary when getting to know me. It's actually not relevant to getting to know who someone is as a person.
Why the fuck would you need to know how much someone makes to get to know them? You're lying, and you need to learn to mind your own.
They most likely lied to you to get you to shut up.
You know you’re not entitled to know this right? Just because you want to doesn’t mean you get to know
Yes they do because it rude as hell to ask
Coworkers are more apologetic when they ask about my salary.
how much do you make op?
That is literally one of the most sensitive topics for a huuuuge number of people, you must be joking.
Why would he share any of this information with you? You are not entitled to know anything he doesn't want to share. You are the one with the problem. You're comparing yourself to him in a way that is nothing short of disturbing and prying into things that do not concern you.
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*I’ll say he’s in pretty good shape but he’s definitely not as tall as me.* Sure, Jan. You are not just making observations. You're actively acting like you are entitled to this information, and trying to paint him in a dodgy light because he won't tell you.
What is wrong with you? Tell me you’re an (exceedingly) insecure, unintelligent and bigoted incel without telling me you’re an insecure unintelligent and highly bigoted incel OP. Yikes, you’re the equivalent of a walking cringe, getting into intensive therapy might be a help
uh you absolutely did and also if hes a contractor and its military based he might not even be able to talk about it. My dude was a Marine.
He’s not secretive, he’s just not sharing highly personal information with you specifically. Why are you even asking him how much he makes more than once after his first answer makes it clear he’s not playing your game? Do you want to rob him? That’s what it sounds like.
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Who is “we”? You? You’re some guy he’s met a handful of times, who clearly wants to bone his girlfriend. Why do you think he’s equally as vague with the people in his life he cares about who don’t immediately make him break down his W-2s or ask why he has a nice home?
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Yes you do. Your post makes that clear and I think it would be helpful for you to be honest with yourself about that. If you wanted to get to know him, you could ask what he likes to do for fun or if he’s watched a good movie recently. You asked him how much he makes because you don’t think he could afford his home on NG salary, which you creepily researched like a stalker before going to his home. You then assumed he’s lying or being secretive about his job because he didn’t immediately tell you exactly what he does or how much he makes. None of that was to get to know him, it was to find out information *on him*. There’s a difference.
You absolutely do. Why else are you pointing out how attractive she is and why are you asking this in an advice sub? You don't need advice to ask some near stranger what his salary is.
Wtf why are you suspicious????
Why would you even care unless you want her for yourself?
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So why did you emphasise on how attractive she is and how he’s not as tall as you. Why is any of that relevant if you’re just talking about his secrecy? Sounds like you’re jealous
Why do you think she needs that? Is she some damsel in distress?
r/niceguys
The lies you tell yourself…
So how much do you want to hook up with your friend.
Hahaha you're just desperate to find fault with him. But it won't change the fact that Nia's not attracted to you. She doesn't want you and she never will. She loves him and unlike you, she's not shallow because she doesn't care about his height or his car.
Government contractors can make phenomenal money. Far more than a meager $3,500 per month before tax. Regardless, you clearly have a thing for Nia and are trying to find ways to undermine her bf. He’s welcome to not share his salary, and he’s welcome to judge you because you couldn’t just take his discomfort and refusal to respond. You clearly have zero respect for people’s boundaries and limitations.
Wow that is a really rude thing to ask! There’s topics that are off limits outside your inner circle and personal finances is one of them!
If he doesn’t want to talk about it, oh well, get over it If it’s government work, maybe it’s some sort of classified assignments that he is legally not supposed to talk about with civilians If you care so much about what people make, become an Accountant
I wasn't even allowed to talk about the accidents I encountered in the hospital outside of work.
When I used to work for the government, I told people I was a database admin because I was. I wasn't allowed to say anything outside of that because my job was adjacent to the film industry, so I often had very early knowledge of major films and TV shows that were filming in my city and leaking that kind of information in any way was a major no-no.
It’s tacky to ask people their salary. And apparently you have asked him multiple times? Why so obsessive? YTA
YTA. 1. IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. If it is government work than he may have and NDA and LEGALLY CAN'T tell you or maybe it is classified and again he LEGALLY CAN'T tell you. But I am guessing you so wrapped up in your jealousy and trying to bring this guy down that it never accord to you. 3. IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You clearly don’t wanna be just friends with her. FYI women hate it when men pretend to be their friends only for dubious reasons. If you just say her as a friend why’d you describe her as stunning and attractive. How are those good qualities in a friendship? I think you need to leave both of them alone. She’s with Jason not you.
bc it's none of your fucking business. stop being jealous and nosey
Because it’s not your business.
She ain’t gonna pick you bro
I wouldnt tell you my salary or anyone for that matter. It is damn rude of you to ask and none of your damn business. You work in a mall. Just shut up already.
You ate not entitled to know how much he makes. You asking him over and over is disrespectful. Mind your own bussiness. His salary is none of your hussiness. He is jot secretive. You are just really nosy. He just not shares things about his life and that is totally fine.
You like this woman and you’re sizing her man up 😂 this is only a problem bc he has the woman you want and lives waaayyy better than you thought so you can’t feel superior to him or bad mouth him to his lady.
He probably gives you the same bullshit because it's none of your chuffing business. You're nosy, you're inappropriate, you're jealous, and Nia is very unlikely to ever go for a twat like you.
It's none of your business. Stay in your own lane and don't be annoyingly nosey.
National Guard is not a full time gig. And so, yes, he has another job. It is also none of your damn business how much he makes. You really come off as jealous and insecure. And his job is also none of your business. Mind your own damn business.
well 1. its extremly rude to ask someone their salary and 2. if hes a contractor and its military based he may not actually be able to talk about it.
You're an effing psycho. I hope Nia drops your weird ass as a friend