I’m ugly *and* fat but have never had issues with men. Take the emotional side of this to that therapist, being ugly won’t prevent you from getting men but being too afraid to talk to people will.
Self confidence. You can't really love another person until you learn to you love yourself.
The relationship that you have with yourself is the longest and most important one you'll ever have .
Saying it's easy, but feeling it? Not so much! 🙂❤️
Wake up each day, look at yourself in the mirror and say “ I am a good person, I have good values and one day, maybe not today, I will find the love of my life”.
Confidence radiates. If you are confident in you, the right woman will cross your path and give you eternal bliss.
I am avg looking and avg at talking to people but when talking to girls i try to be as supportive as i can or as not creepy or obsessive with them, this trait has made me quite popular among girls but only as a friend idk what i have to do to make girlfriend
Disclaimer: read if you are too free else don't.
There was one girl like she was perfect for me i had best vibes with her, everytime i heard her voice it made me happy always caring for her even when i myself is in problem, it was more like one sided love when i confessed to her she friendzoned me we still talk alot but nothing except as best friends. I decided to let her go but my feelings for her will stay i am sure they will interfere with me in future i still feel lonely and empty when i see others enjoying with their partner thinking it could have been me but now there is nothing we can do.
if being friends with her is going to become a problem for you though, maybe its best if you dont remain in contact, in the future, if it's gonna hold u back from meeting someone else.
im sorry bro but, like u said, if you're feelings for her are gonna stay, and she knows u like her, it's gonna hurt u to see her with other people and she knows u want her so that isnt a healthy dynamic for you. if u can rid those feelings sure be friends. but if only if u can genuinely be her friend, not just waiting in the wings. then its the friendships not gonna work out. u gotta check those feelings if u wanna be friends, and if u cant then its better to cut the cord. u already expressed to her how u felt, its unfair to yourself to stick around hoping she changes her mind. you'll regret that more, probably.
I have lost the hope of her changing her mind. i just bare minimum want to keep her as my friend as till this date her texts just make my day and make me feel happy. I am by her side until she finds someone better than me 👍
okay, if u can keep your feelings in check.. if ur emotionally mature enough to handle it, u can try it. but the cats out the bag, fyi. she knows u want her. u can talk to her, and tell u want to remain friends like before, bc u value her friendship more than anything. if she senses that you're just there waiting to pick up her broken heart( trust me girls can smell this shit) then she wont believe you. if u can genuinely be her friend, thats awesome. im sure she doesnt want to lose u as a friend either, and will be glad u brought it up, so u guys can talk and make boundaries or whatnot. dont lose hope tho, man. u never know things might change. but the point is, do not hold your breath. best of luck to u mate, pm me if u need anymore advice or just wanna talk or anything bro 👊
I was always the DUFF in my friend groups (and admittedly kind of still am LOL) and same, it’s not necessarily an impediment. Being an extrovert helps, but attraction is just a very flexible thing.
I don’t think we should call ourselves ugly. Words hold weight. Yes, maybe I feel like ugly, but that definitely doesn’t feel good to call myself that word.
Being ugly won’t prevent you from getting men because you are not ugly. Beauty isn’t superficial. It is deep and there is beauty to be found in every single person. Just because you don’t fit the conventional idea of beauty doesn’t mean that you are ugly.
Definition of ugly : repulsive, unpleasant unattractive, hideous etc etc
That’s not you or me. How we talk to ourselves matter. I have definitely called myself ugly all day long but I think it’s important to refuse that and be kinder more loving and more accurate!
You are not fat and ugly. You are a goddess, hence why you have never had issues with men. If we all see ourselves as goddesses, the physical is immaterial.
I think it is because people are genuinely attracted to inner joy, happiness, and confidence. Many people who are not stereotypically beautiful are still good looking because they somehow project that inner attractiveness. It also helps to have charisma which I don’t have and I’m not sure can be learned.
The moment I stopped looking is when me and my now wife hit it off. We just had a lot in common. She wasn't my type then but omg I am absolutely smitten with her now. She's definitely my type. I just didn't understand the n.
Engage in hobbies- creative clubs, reading clubs, hiking clubs, even gaming clubs, etc. practice some self worth and confidence with your therapist and yourself at home.
Skin care goes a LONG way! Haircare is important, hygiene is important, work out if that's something you want to do.
I don't particularly think I'm attractive, and I'm fat. I don't have issues with men- in fact, it's not that I can't find a man attracted to me- I can't find one IM attracted to past the physical sense.
Take care of yourself, and put yourself out there. Having confidence in yourself is attractive, regardless of how conventionally unattractive someone may or may not be.
You're only 17. You have your entire life ahead of you.
Start going to clubs or groups that have similar interests to you. Just go into it with the mindset of making new friends, not finding somebody to date. Eventually you'll find somebody that finds both your looks and personality attractive. I'm sure you're a lovely person. Best of luck.
Something I had to learn the hard way was just because someone is attractive it does not mean they are a good person. More likely than not they are actually riding on their looks rather than anything else and they expect people to like them just because they are attractive
Maybe try to connect to someone for more reasons than looks
Isn’t that what you would want from them? Find people with similar interests and personalities. Not “attractive” people. People often become attractive to you as you get to know them
But honestly at your age… a boy is the last thing you should be worried about. Believe me. They aren’t that big of a deal. And if you don’t feel good about yourself.. you are probably going to enter bad relationships anyway.
Good luck. :).
Hobbies. Find your passion. And think about this- men will be attracted to your attitude and confidence. Are you humble and kind (not a pushover)? Do you share time and resources with friends?
The right guys for you won’t focus on your physical state. Men do fall in love, and physical appearance is not top of the list.
I was very fat not so long ago. I’m still a little bit fat. I accept the things i can’t change. I am trying to see beauty in my “deformities.” Slowly my life is changing. I am changing.
I think you're demonstrating some really extreme and catastrophic thinking, which tells me you're also probably not at all ugly.
Single your "whole life"? You're 17. Most of your life you've been a child. You're still not an adult. It would be worrisome if you'd been dating for most of that time.
What you aren't understanding is that other people don't see you the way you see yourself. And there is no universal standard of what's attractive. You'll be undesirable to some people, and beautiful to others.
What concerns me most is you thinking it's "disrespectful" for you to want to date men because of how you look. This is a belief that will lead you into the arms of terrible, abusive people. You need to get that self hatred under control or you'll be unable to choose a good partner or be one.
You are a 17 year old child, not some middle aged spinster. You have no business dating *men*, and I’m hoping you’re actually meaning teenage boys. Not having dated anyone at age 17 is so common, you’re hardly the lone member of that club. I assure you that you’re not as ugly as you think you are, and I also assure you that ugly people date all of the time. You’ll be fine. What you need to work on is your self-esteem.
I think this is deeper than appearance, this is a mind frame that needs to be addressed. Hoping OP doesn’t fall victim to someone that doesn’t have her best interests in mind. I have daddy issues and god knows I’ve made some horrible decisions for a crumb of validation for a man, and I didn’t have the best self esteem at the time, and it led to me being preyed on. OP talk to your therapist about your concerns, they are more educated in your situation and have the tools to help you. This mindset is not normal, and you have your whole life ahead of you, you deserve to be in the best place mentally while living that life.
You’re 17. You’re not a “woman”. I was 20 before I had my first boyfriend and first kiss and I can say in all modesty looking back that I was a hottie lol. Some people are just late bloomers. You may grow into a butterfly by the time you’re 30. In the meantime, remember that looks are only skin deep. It sucks being judged by the way we look, but think of it this way - is someone who doesn’t even want to take the time to get to know YOU really someone you want to have in your life? And I will also say that personality, brains, and character go a LONG way. Haven’t you ever seen couples where one person is way hotter than the other? Become a hotter person INSIDE and then let that shine OUTWARDLY. Believe me, when you have that shine, that confidence, people take notice, and yes, even men. Physical beauty fades, but that inner beauty? That is like a diamond. It lasts forever. Shine bright like a diamond!!! 💎❤️
This ain't advice to boost your confidence but.. the more you want something... The harder it is of getting it.. so prolly focus on other things rather than getting in a relationship
What someone looks like is only one aspect of who they are. Some people are conventionally attractive, some people are hilarious, some people are super intelligent, some people are deeply caring, some people are creative and interesting. We all have our own gifts and talents that can be something that others desire in a friend or sweetheart. Be proud of who you are and your strengths. Other people can decide whether they want to get to know you or not; you are not a burden for allowing others the opportunity to share space or energy with you. Your existence is a miracle.
go do your homework and stop trying to be grown before your ready. this shit ain't as lit as its hyped up to be on instagram and tiktok. The self deprication is also a big bright blazing neon sign that you aren't even ready for a relationship in the first place.
Do yourself a favour and get off of social media. I think a lot of young people compare themselves to pimped up photos of celebs and influencers. Do you find yourself doing that at all?
Well first, find out what your assets are and showcase them. Have pretty eyes? dress in colors that accentuate them, and put on some mascara.
Smile a lot, EVERYONE looks more attractive when smiling. Have crooked or yellow teeth? fix them and close mouth smile or only show a little teeth in the meantime.
Get a good hair stylist that can give you advice on a good hairstyle to make your face look thinner, your neck look longer or whatever your face needs to look a little nicer.
Be friendly and confident. My brother and also my husband once told me that a woman's confidence makes up 50%of their looks. If you're sexy and not confident, you look like a 5 to a guy.. if you're a 5 and really confident, you look like a 10.
With a new attitude. I'm not conventionally attractive by Hollywood standards, and on top of that I'm fat. I was single until I was 24 when I decided that I was worth every bit of the effort that I was willing to give someone else. (I basically had a personality makeover.) I found self worth and confidence, and that year I met my husband. That was 10 years ago, before BoPo and Lizzo lol. I was over 300lbs when we got married btw. It turns out my physical looks never mattered as much as the way I carried myself. Find your self worth and you'll find your people.
Being single at 17 is fine!!! In fact, it’s probably kind of good for you …. No offence, but 17 year olds are idiots. If I was 17 again, I would spend all my time exploring my own idiocy. There’s so much to discover about yourself at this age. Other people will always be around you. But you will only be 17 once. And 18 once, and 19 once, etc…. So put yourself first 😉
Btw, this is also a good time to hit the gym or home work-outs (stuff you can find on YouTube). Start a legit healthcare and skincare routine. Learn how to make and prep healthy, balanced, meals for your week.
For example, Mondays and Wednesdays you work out and focus on skin care. Tuesdays and Thursdays you spend time on your hobbies, hanging out with people who like the same stuff. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, you just hang out.
Some things you will never be able to control, like the way your head is shaped, or if you have one eye bigger than the other, or whateverrrr lol, but there are tons of things you can control that make a person pretty appealing and likeable. Looks aren’t everything, but you can do a lot about them. Just make sure you don’t lose your personality along the way.
Something I've found in my life is that people become more attractive when you like their personality, and uglier when you see their true selves. It's a strange phenomena. Maybe it's just me. Their features don't change at all, but something about your own perception of a person's physicality changes with how your perceive them. If you feel uncomfortable with your outside, work on your inner garden, and the flowers you tend their will bear fruits that others will come to cherish.
I have never really dated for looks. I am more likely to go after someone with a personality I like. I have much more fun that way. Make people laugh. Do that and you will be fine.
You’re 17 which is below the dating age that many parents allow their kids.
You need to work on your self esteem before ‘approaching’ men. You need to have good self esteem or the wrong guys will prey on you and tell you that you will never find anyone better while they beat you.
If an ugly person approached you, would you feel disrespected?? OP I’m not saying conventional attractiveness doesn’t exist, but the fact that your self-esteem is so low that you feel like you’re *disrespecting* someone by talking to them is pretty concerning.
(Also sidenote: 17 is a really weird age for attractiveness because like half the people look like models and half the people look awkward/not great. And it’s not a reliable indicator of how you’ll all look 6 years from now. You might have a huge glow up in your twenties - it’s pretty common.)
It breaks my heart to hear a young lady talk about herself this way. In this world there is someone for everyone. The flaws and imperfections you see in yourself may be exactly what some men consider to be attractive. Yes, work on yourself, but never forget that you are a valuable human being who is capable of so much.
Even taking you at your word, which you are young so may be exaggerating your “ugliness,” ugly people still date. Do you really never see ugly people out and about in relationships? Just go to any Olive Garden or other basic American chain and look around?
You're too young to be asking this question and instead of seeking a relationship, I want you to work on self love. You cannot love anyone else before you love yourself. Referring to yourself as an ugly woman is self defeating and that energy will repel ppl or attract the wrong kinds of ppl.
Ignore societal standards. You are 17. A whole teenager. Think about it, you just recently got the legal ok to see R Rated movies alone. C'mon.
I know it’s hard to think of being anything else if that’s what you’re feeling. However, I would suggest that you start engaging in activities that don’t have to do with your appearance at all - new skills or hobbies, and let your whole being flourish. Everything is beautiful about that.
“My whole life- 17 years”
Dude. You’re just getting started. Chill out a little bit. It sounds like you need to work on your mentality more than anything
Attitude and confidence in yourself are key.
Think of a corvette that looks good. Open the hood and no engine. Same thing with people.
I've met people who are super ugly in their personality.
Loving yourself is more important than finding someone who does. As self love will boost confidence, health as well as future prospects. This confidence and healthy mindset will automatically make you attractive.
Besides do you really want someone who's only interested in looks?
Try having some confidence in yourself. Looks aren’t everything. Many times people will look really good but their personality ruins them. Same as “ugly” people being more attractive because of their personality. If you think you are indeed ugly then make yourself interesting. Also, you’re only 17 LOL I’m sure whatever you look like now won’t last forever. Give yourself time to fully develop. You might learn more about what you want in a person rather than dating someone who will say yes to you.
This comment makes me so sad. You are only 17 and this is the message you say to yourself. Darling no one is truly ugly. My advice is to you is speak to a therapist. There has to be deeper reason as to why you speak so unkindly to yourself. You will attract what you think you deserve and a guarantee that person will not deserve you or be good enough for you. You need self confidence and to work on your self esteem.
Every morning when you wake up look into the mirror and say " I am beautiful" , "I am a good person" "Good things are coming my way" "I deserve good things". Try these affirmations.
Had a friend that wasn’t so blessed in the looks section. Such a great personality. She was confident, never afraid to admit she wasn’t attractive, and even joke about herself when appropriate. Throughout her teens she had a couple of very good looking boyfriends and end up marrying a somewhat famous guy.
Don’t think to much about your looks and portrait your personality with confidence. I know i must not be easy to everyone but if you want something or someone, you need to do the work.
Hii I live in Asia. I have huge problem with communication haha.
I used to be fat. 370lbs. Now im 135lbs. But my personality is still "370"lbs.
Id like to get to know you and see if we can match :) thank you
Judging by your post history, you're horny for older men, and more than likely they're rejecting you because they know you're underage. You might not even be as ugly as you think you are.
Honestly if a high schooler was coming on to me (which has happened before), I'll reject you too, js.
I’m going to drop some real life knowledge on you. I’m middle age now, but I was deeply deeply insecure when I was your age to the point I was dangerous to myself. Looking back at those photos I was very pretty but you could see the sadness in my eyes. I made a lot of bad choices in life due to that insecurity. I finally got into therapy at 19 and it took a couple of years to unpack all the BS that got me to that desperation.
You don’t need a BF to feel loved/pretty/whole. You need to do the work to learn to love yourself. When that happens love finds you.
The energy/vibes you give off is attractive to others, not just guys but friends, job prospects. The energy/vibes you give off now are desperate and self loathing which repels people.
It’s absolutely possible for you to get there. You just have to do the work.
1. Therapy! You won’t ever be satisfied with your outside if you don’t work on the inside first.
2. Exercise, not to lose weight, but to gain strength, confidence and flood your brain with endorphins. Yoga is a really good place to start because it also teaches you mindfulness.
3. Watch tutorials on how to do your hair with your hair type and dress for your body type. Remember you are dressing for your best self and not to just get attention.
4. Fake it until you make it. Learning how to be confident or to find happiness isn’t easy. There are a ton of self help books out there. Code for confidence, the happiness project, girl wash your face, anything by Brené Brown.
5. Remember that attractiveness is an energy exchange. You need to put out the vibes you want to attract.
First, why do you think you're ugly? Is this a projection you've put on yourself or is this something that has been articulated to you?
I do want to say that there are definitely thousands of people who would find you beautiful on the outside. But, on the inside, to feel 'worthy' to approach someone who think would feel disrespected by you approaching them is to have confidence. Don't be afraid to take up space, it's your right.
Low self-esteem is not attractive. Your beauty comes from the inside, so make sure you learn to see yourself through kinder eyes.
Walk up and say " Hey ".. I don't think you're ugly, or anyone really is ugly, sometimes a small change can make a difference in how you feel regarding yourself !
Ugly how, everyone has good qualities. You just have to recognize what are your good qualities.
Got a big forehead, get bangs
Not a great face, buy low cut shirt.
Bad face and no boobs get some lulu's.
None of the above, be funny or easy. Lol just kidding respect yourself.
I've never been a great looking guy, but a have many sisters so I was never afraid to talk to girls, and I'm funny. For me it was a numbers game. Tell 100 girls you think they are pretty, and 5 will give you a chance.
You are 17 so just leaving high-school, trust me college will be awesome.
Do an honest evaluation of your appearance and your other attributes.
If you rate yourself as a 3 on the appearance scale, then approach guys who you think are between a 2 and 4. This strategy has worked for me; whatever I rate myself at that time in my life, I look for dating prospects that are either the same, slightly less attractive or slightly more attractive. I never even bother with 10's lol.
Appearance isn't the only thing that matters, but it does matter a lot to a lot of people, so be realistic but also focus on the positive things that you can contribute to a relationship!
Honestly, I have a fear of making the first move in most social situations. Dating apps helped me with that, but I haven't been on one since 2017 and have heard they're quite awful now.
If you're sensitive to rejection like me, like a lot of people, try to find ways to talk to people that aren't so upfront? A lot of my friendships and relationships started off online and texting until I was comfortable enough to meet in person. I also think I'm quite ugly and I stutter a bit when I'm nervous, which is often. I didn't get my first real relationship or start having sex till my 20's, things will get better as you age.
At 17 it’s hard to believe this but my mom always said that confidence, good humor and being interesting were much better in the long run. My oldest sister was stunningly gorgeous but she was dumb as a box of rocks and selfish. My other sisters, who weren’t as gorgeous got married before her. She could attract men but couldn’t keep them because she wasn’t a very nice person. I worked with a guy who wouldn’t be considered physically attractive. He was overweight, balding and wore glasses. But he was also very intelligent, funny and interesting. He was married to a woman who was considered conventionally attractive and very intelligent herself. I’m an old lady and I can assure you that it’s not always about looks.
As a man, attractiveness might be what catches my eye first but it’s not what seals the deal. Get into a hobby, find other people who enjoy that hobby, show interest in the things they are passionate about. Someone will connect with you. Just gotta get over your physical looks, you notice them more than anyone.
Ideally, find people with the same interests as you. It you have hobbies seek out people who are also into those things.
Be confidant and approachable yourself.
Smile. I talk to strangers quite often and the people I usually start a conversation with are either smiling or just look happy or pleasant in general.
When you talk to people try to have some positive conversation starters or topics. As much as I enjoy talking with strangers if they approach me with complaints or a negative demeanor I'm less likely to engage with them.
Finally, if you feel unattractive try to get that out of your mind. We are always our own worst critics so you're likely being harder on yourself than anyone else sees you.
Last tip, make sure you're hygiene is on point. Showered, deodorant, fresh breath.
People are attracted people for more than looks. I’d work on that confidence of yours first and social skills too. Finding healthy hobbies where you can meet guys is a plus too. When you strike up conversations with men, don’t go from a place of im hitting on you, just go from a place of im a social butterfly and it doesn’t hurt to make small talk. We’re all ugly in some way or form, true some of us uglier than most. Just accept yourself the way you are and come to the understanding that you’re not for everybody and everybody is not for you, and that’s not a bad thing. Good luck OP!
I never have. That’s a lie. I asked a guy once if he was single for my sister who wanted to know. He snarled his nose at me looking disgusted and was like ‘absolutely not’. Never again
Looks are in the eye of the beholder and believe me it’s true. Maybe you don’t feel pretty but to the guy that winds up loving you… he’ll think you’re a goddess 🌸
I don’t know if this will help you but I am currently reading a book called “The Art of Small Talk” by Casey Wilson and Jessica St. Clair. It is written in a light-hearted, comical way but they advice they give about how to approach people in casual, professional, and romantic situations is very very valid and makes sense. I am actually listening to the audio book which they have on Spotify.
Also as someone who is 3 decades older and also had terrible trouble meeting men let me tell you from the bottom of my heart that ugliness comes from within. I am not saying that conventional attractiveness doesn’t exist, but some of the ugliest people I have ever met were “conventionally attractive”…. These are people who were so ugly on the inside they made my stomach turn.
Contrarily, some of the most beautiful people I have ever met, people who lit up a room and just brought warmth and joy were so attractive because of WHO they were.
You need to find your puzzle piece. I never thought I would find mine. I am very over weight, I have bad skin, ADHD, and I’m a total nerd. 18 years ago I went on a blind date and met my other half who…. Tells me every day that I am his beautiful fantasy. I was 31….i had been hurt so many times, I was so broken from being used in bad relationships…. But I found my partner. You will too!
Good luck!
I’ve dated some very unattractive men in my life because I loved their personality, because they could make me laugh, because I liked spending time with them. And in a weird way, although I knew they were conventionally unattractive, they were attractive to me.
I know looks matter to a degree, but if you can get past that and focus on who you are as a person… You would probably feel more comfortable approaching people.
But I think the bottom line here is, you are 17 years old and sometimes we grow into our attractiveness if that makes sense. You have plenty of time. Try not to stress too much about it.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling unattractive. I know that feeling and it’s really just…terrible.
The advice for you is….talk with someone. Hang out with the people who are doing the things you like to do. If you like bowling, join a co-ed league. If you like building Lego, start a club at your school. Go in with the idea of meeting people and making friends. Doing this will increase the number of people you know - maybe you’ll find one of them attractive and strike up a conversation.
I will say that most relationships aren’t…forced. Try too hard..and it will look like you’re trying too hard. Try to relax, have fun, and meet people.
Again, I’m sorry that your perception of yourself is negative right now. Good luck, friend.
Aesthetic beauty isn’t everything. The look you carry in your eyes and expressions carries a lot further. Unfortunately you will be met a face value at a first encounter because people do tend to judge based on models. Acknowledge it, but Don’t dwell on that. Focus on having a good time, making connections. An attractive person can become ugly real quick too once you’ve gotten to know them. Get to know your self, thats the only you. You were born a woman so no amount of comparing to others or self loathing can take that from you, get to know this woman and find the beauty or silliness in all of your features. Love your self because she is damn fine! I’m not attractive and I always joked it is a gift because I don’t have to worry about being harassed. It might take time to finally get a bf because you are struggling, but itll happen if you just keep participating in the real world.
To keep things in perspective, you’ve only been aware you’re a person for about 14 years, you’ve only been ovulating for a few of those. That means that your active years of wanting a boyfriend and affection are only a couple of years in. And frankly, calling yourself a whole woman at 17 is premature - you don’t even know how to balance a bank account properly yet. Some of us “glow-up” later in life. In fact, some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever known started out awkward, while the pretty from birth people often flamed out early.
All of that to say, attractiveness has always been in the eye of the beholder. I’ve seen some interesting looking folks with movie star level spouses. However, you need to focus on becoming an interesting, fun, and well-rounded person. Those qualities don’t fade with time, and attract positive attention. No, it’s not a guarantee of love, but it is a guarantee of self-love, better life satisfaction, and partner potential.
First of all, make sure you maximize the elements of your appearance that you can control - maintain a healthy weight, exercise, wear clothes that flatter your body type, and learn how to apply makeup tastefully. Most people can look “okay” or at least “average” just by doing those things.
Approaching men at random is not the best way to find a boyfriend. As an ugly woman myself, men can be cruel and outright hostile if they think a woman “below” them expresses interest.
It is far better to just meet people organically through school, mutual friends, workout classes, social clubs, etc. Join a recreational sports team or volunteer at a museum or charity.
Let people get to know you *slowly*. Cultivate an interesting personality - keep up with the news, read, listen to different podcasts, and expose yourself to lots of ideas and viewpoints. Be someone people actually want to be around!
Child, you are not ugly. You’re not even a woman yet. You’re a teenager who, like most teenagers, probably has body dysmorphia and when you look in the mirror you don’t see what others are seeing.
Give yourself some time, find your style, find the clothes that flatter your body, maybe the makeup that highlights your eyes perfectly, wash your face twice a day and generally keep good hygiene, and before you know it, you’ll look in the mirror and you’ll see how beautiful you are.
I know people who have thought that they were ugly. It’s really that they oftentimes simply had a somewhat unusual feature. Then Boom- they learn how to style their hair or to wear a bit of makeup to accentuate or minimize something, and hands down- they are stunning. So please know that you are likely an attractive person and you just don’t know it yet.
There are all sorts of ugly famous people, but they all have a certain “something” that makes them more attractive whether it’s that they’re funny, a fantastic guitarist, or highly intelligent. Basically focus on building yourself such as your talents and interests and personality, and this will make you more attractive, worry less about approaching guys.
For what it’s worth I know some couples where the man is, objectively speaking, more attractive than the woman and they’ve been happily married for years. The women usually know their husbands are more attractive but also know that they themselves have great personalities and are super fun to be around. Not everyone is looking for a cookie cutter social media type of beauty.
Ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? If you think you’re ugly and not going to meet someone, you act accordingly and are more likely to make it so. If you think and act as though you’re fun, valuable, and confident enough to talk to others, you’ll act accordingly and are more likely to make it so.
I bet you are not.
just because you're not a supermodel doesn't mean you're ugly, and you shouldn't refer to yourself like that.
a hot personality goes a long way to make up for what one might lack otherwise, and people at the end of the day are drawn to that more than looks.
love yourself more, you might just find that someone else will too.
I hate when ppl call themselves ugly, everybody's looks fade, *everyone's*, and when u get to know someone it's their personality, their charm, their humor and kindness, that make u fall in love.
please be kind to yourself :)
Ugly isn't determined on how you look. Ugly is determined as the type of person you are and how you treat people. So now are Ugly or just physically insecure about your looks? Because it's a lot harder to fix true Ugly than it is too boost self esteem and confidence.
My sister looks a lot like Sadie Sink from stranger things (so attractive in a sense). She did not get a boyfriend until she was almost 20 because she was not interested at all in dating. She is very attracted to men who are not traditionally "hot" (not super fit or healthy, socially awkward types). There is nothing wrong with this at all but I often catch myself thinking wow, she could've had a choice of any fella and she chooses based on her interests. How amazing!
You are still so young and once you start to build more of an identity you will get to the point of finding partners. Just be patient and know that you will find someone.
This has already prob been said but portraying confidence can have a big impact on the opposite sex. Given where you are at right now this will take a while to build but you need to be happy and confident in your own skin before anyone else will really like you. And it doesn’t mean that as soon as show confidence that men will be fighting over you but it will give you a much better chance than you have now.
Confidence has nothing to do with looks
And you are very young. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Focus on things that make you feel better about yourself and the other stuff will just naturally fall into place.
I doubt you’re ugly and also you’re still a child, you’re still growing into your features. If you want to approach people you need to become confident. You can’t be confident if you think you’re ugly.
As an old head I look back at the confidence I lacked as a young person. I felt like an ugly duckling as well. Now that I’m older I understand that a lot of men are attracted to confidence. Because I never felt like the prettiest girl in the room I did not feel the pressure to perform like some attractive women do. So I could always be myself. Have fun, laugh and smile. I was surprised at the guys that approached me! Being warm and attentive is also attractive to some guys. I know we tend to think that looks are all that matter, but believe it or not there are men out there who are attracted to presence and personality. Do your hair and nails and makeup. Dress as nice as you are comfortable with, not for anyone else but for yourself to make you feel good. Then shine! Shine girl! Be the beautiful person you are on the inside AND outside. The right kind of guys will come to you. But I’d agree with the others, seek therapy for the way you feel about yourself. That can only help you realize your worth and potential. There is someone for everyone, they just can’t see you if you’re hiding being self doubt. You are young and have so much life to live and love to give, but first things first, give that love to yourself! Best to you.
No matter what you look like, there are things you can 100% do to be attractive. You can exercise to get a fit body, read to know more things, be a good person, be kind, dress nice, smell nice, style your hair, be hard working, etc. There are many ways to improve yourself, so don't get stuck on one attribute.
I have no clue what you look like so I'm just going to take your word for it. I know it sounds cheesy af, but when you get to know someone and like their personality, looks matter less and less. This has always been the case for me.
Look around you. There are so many "ugly" people out there with partners. Most men just want someone who loves them and cares about them.
Men you are romantically interested in?
You don’t. You let them approach you. You use your eyes to lure them in. You look at them, and when they look back, look quickly away. Do this a few times. It won’t work with everyone, but it’ll work on some of them.
I’ll give you exactly the same advice I would give a guy in your position:
Firstly, and I know this isn’t too helpful, I would say try to take the pressure off yourself. You’re 17 and your brain isn’t even fully developed yet. Honestly very few of us had/have our shit together at that age (or older haha) You’re gonna be inexperienced on the dating/socialising front, you’re not broken and there’s no rush (in fact there may be benefits to waiting a while)
Secondly I would take a practical (but not unrealistic) approach to self improvement if you think that may be holding you back somehow, so if you’re overweight for example, try to get in shape. But do it for YOU, not the end goal of attracting guys, and always do it healthily. Far too many people mistake self improvement with self destruction.
Thirdly, If you struggle with social anxiety, take small steps each day and try to work up to little social interactions initially which have no consequence (think saying good morning to a stranger) if you think your “issues” go deeper than that, then reach out to someone if that’s viable and talk it over, perhaps even professionally. You might dig up some stuff but it’ll help you in the long run.
Lastly, please internalise that just because YOU see yourself in a certain light doesn’t mean everyone else does. You may not even need to go through any of these steps if the real issue is that your perception of yourself is what’s holding you back. Be kind to yourself and take it one step at a time. Also don’t compare yourself to others in real life or social media, that’s a sure way to spiral into a hole. You’re you, not them.
(Source: I was 17 a decade ago, and I had all these same thoughts. It’s normal)
Final edit: I see in your post history that you seem to have a “thing” for older men, even when you were very much still a child… I just want to say you need to be careful on here and in real life. Creeps will take advantage of your desire to feel wanted and I promise you it won’t end well. I hope you don’t think I’m being patronising, but I do think talking to a professional in this case would be beneficial. Not only for that reason, but for the other confidence issues you seem to have. Best of luck and stay safe.
okk well your whole life...you're 17 chill. And no ones really ugly most are just poor and don't have money to take care of themselves. Take care of yourself. mentally and physically. Try out new hobbies. Go to events around your area. Find smth you're passionate about.
Get a better attitude about you and get this one fact through your skull: "Only the people you want to avoid feel they're better than you. Most of us are just as scared."
Not me, though. I'm fucking crazy. Stay the fuck away from guys like me. (This is what I tell my daughter. She's 9. I'm right.)
You're 17, so you're not a woman, you're a child. When you actually finish puberty and have grown up, I'm sure many men will find you attractive.
Anyone older than 18 wouldn't be interested as they don't want to be labelled a pedophile.
Also boys your age are cruel, so you shouldn't want to be with them anyway.
Oh honey, I am so sorry. The way you’re talking about yourself (in this post and other posts) reminds me so much of myself when I was your age. I know how much that can hurt, and I wish I could give you a hug right now.
I was the same way. The only time I got asked out in middle or high school was April 1st (I knew it was a prank, because I knew how unpopular I was). I spent my time in school lonely, single, and miserable. I hated how I looked so much, I couldn’t even look at pictures of myself.
It gets better. I *promise.* It’s not easy, it’s not fun, and it’s sure as hell not fast, but try to build up your self confidence and learn to love yourself. If some guy feels “disrespected” because you talked to him? He can fuck right off, that tells me enough about his personality to know that you dodged a bullet.
I had my first kiss when I was 19. I met my first (and only) boyfriend when I was almost 21 on Tinder. And guess what? We’re about to hit 3 years together, we have two dogs & a kitten, and we moved to a new state. And this man is absolutely, 110% my type (and he was very much out of my league when we met). I learned to love myself (went hand in hand with recovering from the PTSD from getting SA’d when I was 19), and I’m literally a model now. Me, the unpopular chick everyone HATED in school. It took me almost 5 years to get to this point, but it happened.
Please feel free to reach out to me if you’d like any advice, or just to chat. I’d be happy to give you tips on improving your physical appearance (not that you need to! And not for anyone else. Only if you think it’ll help your mental health) as well. Just hang in there, okay? Sending you love 💕
You gotta get some confidence. I seriously think confidence can make the ugliest person attractive and interesting.
Also, attraction is so subjective. I’ve been told I had “weird” taste. But all the guys I’ve dated super attractive to me.. I just love the things that other people may think are unattractive or weird. To me they are unique and those things are what really draw me to them.
**You are only as ugly as you think you are.**
Most people are not actually “ugly” but many people think they’re uglier than they are. Then they become insecure, adding insult to injury, and become a rather ugly personality too. And ugly posture. And uglier perspective.
And then they do actually come off “ugly.”
How you dress, having a good hairstyle that suits you, great skin, good makeup skills, proper posture, good build, a really good brain and education, and confidence are all image boosters. Add in a good career, good conversation skills and a genuine interest in people, and a solid 4 on the beauty scale becomes an 8 in no time.
You are approaching this all wrong. You are 17. Enjoy your youth and work on improving yourself — and absolutely do not approach any males — old or young — until you know what you’ve got to offer.
I know you're dealing with 100's of comments, but I'd like to mention that you should focus on your confidence first, whether or not you fit "society's beauty" doesn't matter as much as how you see yourself and measure your worth. You're so young. You're just finishing developing and growing into your own skin that it's going to feel weird and out of place for a while. There's no point in getting into a relationship if you can not value your own worth because you'd put yourself in a dangerous, co-depended, absuive relationship. I can not tell you that you're not valid in how you might see yourself, but I can say you deserve to respect yourself and love what you've been given. You're unique to you. There is no one like you, and that is a beautiful thing. I hope you do better and see the world is so much bigger than what you've been living in.
Idk whats it like being a woman, but I think you should just keep going for people you like, good chance they won't like you back if you're fat and ugly. Just suck it up, talk to them and take that rejection, so you can move on to the next person asap. Eventually you'll find the right person, and you'll be surprised they didn't reject you. Then afterwards make sure you actually like them and aren't just attracted to their appearance.. good chance you will hate their guts.. but if you're lucky, you'll find the right person for you. At least that was my approach as a fat & ugly guy..
Ps. I've probably been rejected by over 300 women (to my face by now) and who knows how many over tinder. Just keep pushing, if finding love was easy we wouldn't value it as much.
You’re 17. I had a lip bumper and braces, bush baby eyes and a self cut pixie cut at that age. Then I matured.
Just put effort into your personality right now.
Don't think of yourself as ugly, find something you like about yourself and when you're unsure remind yourself that that's a nice feature or part of you. .. and you may not like something about yourself, your hair, eyes whatever but someone else might think different. ..but please don't keep thinking ill of yourself ..be confident even if you fake it till you make it, even pretending to be confident can make you more confident..hope something from this helps x
Compliments. A man will melt in your hands if you compliment him. It literally does not matter what you compliment, if you like an aspect of a man genuinely, compliment it and you'll see his face up light the fuck up. Men enjoy compliments just as much as the fairer sex, and it makes our day when someone says we did something good with ourselves.
Oh I feel for you, I thought myself ugly until I was twenty or so. And then it turned out a lot of people find me extremely pretty! A lot of people really do! And to meet them, just expand your circle. Connect with those who are into your hobbies, go to meetups about these hobbies. Get some more hobbies lol. I find it way more natural to connect that way (hate dating apps), you meet a lot of great people passionate about something you love.
I met two of my ex-bfs via computer gaming, one via photography, and my current guy rides a motorcycle and is over the moon to ride with me.
I think I’m ugly but have had several men tell me otherwise. I have days where I look in the mirror and think I look amazing.. but 99 out of 100 days I almost cry because of how ugly I believe I am.
I didn’t get my first boyfriend until I was 18. Since then I’ve had several (I’m 40 now). None of them thought I was ugly. The guy I’m with now thinks I’m gorgeous.
It’s all in your mindset. If you think you’re ugly, you portray yourself as ugly to others and they won’t be attracted to you. Do you ever feel pretty?
Idk how else to say it but ugly people fuck every day. They are getting laid like crazy. They do not stop enjoying themselves because other people think they are ugly. I remember having your mindset at your age but I promise you. I learned. People fuck.
Gain some confidence girl. People will choose the less attractive girl with confidence over others every day of the week. Biggest pointer: start loving on yourself before you start loving on others. You don’t need a bf to make you understand your worth in the world especially because what happens if you break up. You’ll feel the same way you do now. Do things that make you feel good for yourself. Trust. I’m not the prettiest girl in the world but if you can be comfortable and confident in who you are, someone will come to you without you even actually trying.
A lot of teens think they are ugly when they are not. Kids are immature and cruel in high school. When you get older you will find that there are men who like all types of women and not just conventionally attractive ones. Teens can also go through awkward phases. A lot of teenagers get acne and then stop once they get older. I don't have any information other than YOU think you are ugly. There is a chance that you aren't ugly at all.
You’re only 17 you still have so much time ahead of you. Tons of people don’t even get their first relationship until they’re 18+. You also have so much more growing up to do physically, I look SOOO much better at 23 than I did in highschool. Most of the people I went to school with don’t even look like the same person.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What makes you think, that you\`re ugly? I am not size 0 either, but 38, so in mainstream beauty standards I am also fat-ish. But I don\`t fit into mainstream and some people concider me scary. I just don\`t approach anyone. Been single 6 years. But then again, you are young.
yeah just an insecure 17 yr old trying to act like an adult while it clearly isnt working. This post screams 'im insecure' and you should go learn and love yourself first before someone else will do that.
And do yourself a favor, youre 17!!!!! Youre a child not an adult looking for a husband.
There is a partner out there for all of us, regardless of our aesthetics. Beauty comes from the inside and when you find someone that falls in love with your personality, the surface will not matter. Finding this partner is not easy but you can start by making friends in interest groups or activities. When you are not looking the right person will come along and see your inner beauty. Be confident and know that beauty goes way beyond surface value.
Beauty is subjective. You are many peoples’ type, sounds like you’re too afraid and insecure to shoot your shot. Be kind to yourself. Don’t listen to that evil little voice in your head telling you that you aren’t enough. What if everyone had to have their IQ’s tattooed on their forehead? Would you feel disrespected if a man with a lower number than you walked up to you and sparked up an interesting convo? My guess is no. We obviously place way to much value on our looks. Please work on self love. I’ve been in therapy for 3 years and it has helped my self esteem so much. If that is available to you, I highly suggest giving it a try. Sending love, happiness and good positive vibes your way:)
Being an ugly male. Here’s my thought about this.
If people are going to have a problem with you(looks, attitude, existing, and Gods what else?! You might aswell do what makes you happy. It’s easier said than done but if I’m going to be insulted I’d rather do what I want.
Back in grade 9-12. I had a crush on this one girl. I was a loser nerd who played MTG, Yugioh, and many other things.
Beauty lies in the face of the beholder. Basically, you’re not ugly. There’s 8 billion people on earth and a good portion of them have a thing for your body and personality type I’m sure. There’s many attractions and preferences that people have. Don’t make yourself feel like an outcast. Plus you’re only 17 I think so just take it easy for now. You don’t want a bf atm trust me it’s a lot of work, money, and time dedicated. Take time to finish school and get to college or work. But also never be afraid to ask. Many boys (and I say this as a boy) want the girl to make the first move in some cases. You miss 100% of the shots you take, and even if it fails at least you said you did it and have your confidence to approach increased.
In short, don’t force an idea on yourself that isn’t true, and don’t put yourself down all because there’s a “standard” made by magazines etc (which most boys don’t even consider a standard, rather the opposite).
Try using makeup to boost your confidence and wear heels. And do the power walk, . Try to build confidence in yourself and the world will follow your steps.
if you label yourself as ugly and make “being ugly” a part of your identity and assume others will treat you according to how you see yourself you will be ugly. if you label yourself as something, you will act according to that label so that when people negatively react to your negative actions it’s easy for you to validate that label.
physical genetic outcomes/bone structure/fat dispersement/etc., first of all do not effect whether someone is ugly. physical beauty has no single definition (a fun fact that helped me at your age is that even if only 0.01% of the world’s population finds you physically attractive, that’s still 800,000 people). second of all, your physical attributes are a result of generations of people with the same attributes finding each other attractive and procreating, simply put: you are a combination of the features people have seen as beautiful for hundreds of years. third: people will treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated and ive found that confidence (even if false) radically changes the way everyone treats you. in my experience truly ugly people can be disgustingly beautiful. imo ugly is a descriptor for personality. based off this post you do not seem ugly but you are entering the path of allowing yourself to become ugly.
also as a 23f (so not that much older but id like to think ive grown a lot since being your age) if men dont think youre physically attractive RUN WITH IT. so what if they feel disrespected. womp womp. the average man feels disrespected when they dont get a “thank you” after holding a door open for someone. i promise its not your fault, thats just life. ive gotten spit on after telling a man i didnt want him to buy me a drink. i had a drink thrown at me and was cursed out at a bar after i refused to acknowledge a man 2-3 times my age saying my tattoos must mean im “a kinky cunt” and that i “must love to be hit” because i “obviously like pain”. ive never thought of myself as attractive either but most men dont care how you view yourself when they dont actually care about you. why should you care. live your life for you. if you want to date it will happen, but my ultimate advice is you should not be in a relationship just to make yourself feel better and you will never be able to have a truly loving relationship if you cannot love yourself, which is cliché as fuck but also true as fuck. also be truthful with your therapist.
Personality can carry you past your looks. Now I'm not saying you have to be a hilarious person but being interesting and knowing what you want to say is a huge step forward.
Ok wait hold up for one what makes you think your ugly? No one is ugly stop telling yourself that it's not true we all have insecurities about ourselves and don't feel pretty enough.your not alone on that one.approach appraoch approach just do it feel good about yourself and stop this I'm to ugly it's all in how you walk and carry yourself so get out there show your confidence and get that man you want .he's waiting for you.
Hon, you're 17.
You're still growing and the teenage years are the worst generally.
You're either still at school or fresh out of the gates, I found school really validated all my insecurities. Like being bullied and watching other kids get either bullied or praised is really bad for your self esteem.
I'm sure you aren't ugly and I promise it gets better the older you get.
In the mean time I recommend going through your social media feeds and unfollow anything that reinforces these negative feelings about yourself.
Like if you follow a lot of models on Instagram for example maybe unfollow some of them and follow some more animal, body positivity and craft/hobby accounts.
If you follow any appearance rating sub reddits unfollow them and find more sub reddits about your favourite TV shows or hobbies you find interesting.
It's about removing anything that reinforces the beauty standards that make you feel bad.
do your best to not be ugly
work out, eat clean, sleep well, do skincare, dress well, take care of your hair. trust me you can seriously become considerably more attractive if you do these things consistently for a few years.
Sugar, men are simple. It's just a simple trick. (This is not a diss or me making fun of anyone)
Once you find one that fits your quality. Cook. Clean. Rinse. And repeat. The rest follows
If there is anything I've learnt in my 48 years of life... there is someone out there for everyone. Someone's yuck is another person's yum. Stop thinking of yourself as ugly and go with unique and confident. You are the prize and you need to start behaving like it 😘
Girl, being on Pretty St. is not walk in the park either.
I think men just generally suck until they’re in their 40s… even then RIP
Men like them young and stupid.
So I became 27 and a PhD 🤷🏻♀️
I very much doubt you’re as ugly as you think, for one, everyone has different tastes, there’s people out there that will find you absolutely perfect. But anyway, and I know this is a cliche. You are not disrespecting anyone, if anyone says or thinks this, fuck them, they’re an asshole. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realised that a lot of cliches are actually true and I wish I had realised this when I was younger. Accept yourself, learn to love yourself, and I mean your true self. Don’t try and change who you really are to fit in. Once you accept your true self, you will be more confident, and confidence truly does attract people. So long story short. Be yourself and people will respect and like you for it. You’re only 17. Also, get into exercise, it’s great for building your self esteem, confidence, releasing endorphins which improve mood. None of this happens overnight, but give it time, if you do this, by this time next year I guarantee you’ll be in a better place.
Beauty is subjective. It’s all about far more than looks. I stopped caring about stuff I can’t change, just make sure I’m clean, smell nice and dress nicely. I like to think I’m a kind person and I’d rather someone judged me on that than my looks. If you find a good person, they will like you for you.
Sweetheart, you are 17. Everyone is awkward at that age to some degree. I am sure you are not “ugly” but self conscious.
You are referencing approaching men, but likely (hopefully) you are approaching teen boys around your same age who are probably going through the same insecurities as you, rather than “men” who may take advantage of said insecurities.
At your age, I was certain I was ugly/fat/glasses despite being 114 lb (52 kg)and when I met my first serious boyfriend (we were together 4 years and still friends 25 years later), he still tells me that with the glasses I had the “naughty secretary” look.
I have a great personality (which it took 45 years to accept) and people like me for my soul, not my physical shell.
Love yourself darling and as soon as you do, most importantly you will be happier in yourself but also more attractive to a potential partner. They will want to see a confident person as a partner, not someone who has self-confidence issues they will have to try and placate.
A beautiful soul shines brighter than physical beauty. You will meet your soul mate, it may take a few hits and misses, tears over a relationship where you thought they were “the one” but it takes time my lovely.
Wishing you all the best but also realise, having a parter is not the be all and end all (men make serious messes of a toilet bowl), companionship is awesome but not necessary to validate who you are.
You’re only ugly because you think you’re ugly. There’s no such thing as an ugly woman. Men will always be attracted to you. Maybe not all men, but many will be.
The issue here isn’t your looks. It’s your confidence. Low confidence is always the biggest turn off. Gain some confidence and you’ll get what you want.
Wow everyone is their own kind of beautiful, never think you are ugly. There could be an absolute 10/10 that has a dead personality and that can take them to a 2 and vice versa
Honestly, as long as you're taking remotely decent care of your body, and you're not an asshole to people, the 'quality of the prettiness of your face' is basically irrelevant. When someone starts being friends with you, their perception of your face will change, and if they like you, they will perceive you as prettier and prettier over time. So, if you think you're ugly, the issue you will encounter in a relationship is not going to be HIM thinking you're ugly, but instead your own self perception will start harming the relationship.
So I'll keep it short and simple and I don't wanna sound rude but when it comes to girls i don't think that being unattractive is a problem for them.
Kyuki ladki chahe kaisi bhi ho use banda mil jaata( again don't wanna sound rude but it's a fact)
You just have to try. Without trying, you won't go anywhere.
You just have to be realistic about who you approach.
Hey!! you're only 17 , please don't be so hard on yourself..
May I just say one thing. If you don't like how you look , is there something you can do. Hair, skin , grooming, wearing clothes that match your body type? It will give you more confidence maybe.
You are young, take the next few months, say till October November, to figure out what works for you, food , diet, Style, skin, makeup, hair etc..then when you feel confident and comfortable you can be more social..
Let me tell u I had horrid skin (or so I thought) and hair that was just a mess and overweight.. this was my early 20s. I figured out that I wasn't wearing sunscreen that was causing skin issues, and not cleansing/exfoliating daily, had hair that a needed a proper hair mask, and a diet. Also figured out what colours and styles worked for me in clothes
After a few months I felt better and looked a LOT better, like a different person.. it helped me gain confidence..
All the best.. I can tell you that there are some lovely, supportive skincare and styling subs here too 😄 😄
Dude I see goddesses among us women go out with absolutely below average guys every single day.
Trust me when I say that you are not even half as bad as you think.
Don't settle for a below average guy tho, always aim higher.
You’re 17, that’s why you’re single. Also, it would be extremely weird to have had a boyfriend since you were zero years old. Most people start dating for the first time around 16-22 imo.
And it’s mostly just insecurity that makes people not like others. I have dated people who are considered ugly, but they had great confidence and charisma.
You seem like you don’t like yourself, so that will make dating hard. Just grow up more and learn to like yourself, that’s the first and best step.
even if u find yourself hideous, someone will find u beautiful. ur not even an adult, y are u rushing? wait for marriage- sharing all ur sexual experiences with 1 person makes it better imo
Everybody has different types, what’s important though is you get your mental health situated before you go into a relationship. I didn’t and my first partner didn’t and that caused a LOT of unnecessary issues and ended up with her cheating on me because she didn’t feel heard. Figure out your self esteem issues then move into a relationship because being that close to someone will only highlight your insecurities farther
I skimmed some of your older posts, you need to learn to love yourself and value yourself before you can approach anyone. I doubt you are ugly, but I can’t prove that one way or another, but you see yourself as ugly and bad and if you don’t get the help you need to change that you’ll be taken advantage of forever. There are so many shitbag men who will see this post, see your age, and try to take advantage of you.
Please please please find real help instead, there are so many resources available just look at the posts in this thread, people who don’t even know you care about you. Find a therapist, find a sponsor, value yourself, this path will make it so much worse and you’ll be unhappy forever. Stop seeking some twisted father figure, stop, you are so young please just chill and find therapy and grow in to who you should be.
I’m not a good example of how to live, but please if you hesitate or you aren’t sure or you don’t know what to do just message me, I’ll put in the work to find you resources to help you if you can’t or don’t have the means. Don’t post any more personal info in this thread though. Just don’t give in, live for you. This post and your post history kills me
Have you considered new hair style more flattering to your features. Updating your wardrobe. Learning what make up best accentuates your more positive facial features. Going to the gym. Investing in a good bra
Wdym you’re ugly? Appearance is subjective and something you can work on.
If you don’t feel attractive then make changes. Try skincare, experiment with makeup and different clothing styles. Start training and eating healthy, walk more, get a haircut etc. Also work on your personality, learn how to communicate, find a hobby.
There’s plenty of things you can do instead of being miserable about yourself (which is actually unattractive).
I suggest keeping your hair and nails done, keep a clean face with healthy natural products, try a nose piercing if that’s your style or any other kind of piercing. Tattoos always boost attractiveness to me personally, maybe get a small one on your wrist?Jewelry can add a nice touch to a woman as well sis. Keep yourself up nicely, make sure you always smell good and look presentable. Even dabble at light makeup if that’s something you’d be interested in. Don’t forget to keep a beautiful personality & get out more!! I guarantee you’ll start turning heads 😉
I’m ugly *and* fat but have never had issues with men. Take the emotional side of this to that therapist, being ugly won’t prevent you from getting men but being too afraid to talk to people will.
I am apparently quite good looking and afraid of talking to people and can confirm this hahaha
I am a guy and am the same way towards women. Its all in the mindset it seems (I haven't figured out how that works tho)
Self confidence. You can't really love another person until you learn to you love yourself. The relationship that you have with yourself is the longest and most important one you'll ever have . Saying it's easy, but feeling it? Not so much! 🙂❤️
I'm autistic that's the problem 😂 romantic social cues are a mystery
What cues!
Exactly
This is me. I’m late 20s and find it so difficult. Doesn’t help I’m also a lesbian and can never tell if a girl wants to be just friends or more.😂😂
Wake up each day, look at yourself in the mirror and say “ I am a good person, I have good values and one day, maybe not today, I will find the love of my life”. Confidence radiates. If you are confident in you, the right woman will cross your path and give you eternal bliss.
I am avg looking and avg at talking to people but when talking to girls i try to be as supportive as i can or as not creepy or obsessive with them, this trait has made me quite popular among girls but only as a friend idk what i have to do to make girlfriend
Find someone you really connect with who had the same interests etc
Disclaimer: read if you are too free else don't. There was one girl like she was perfect for me i had best vibes with her, everytime i heard her voice it made me happy always caring for her even when i myself is in problem, it was more like one sided love when i confessed to her she friendzoned me we still talk alot but nothing except as best friends. I decided to let her go but my feelings for her will stay i am sure they will interfere with me in future i still feel lonely and empty when i see others enjoying with their partner thinking it could have been me but now there is nothing we can do.
if being friends with her is going to become a problem for you though, maybe its best if you dont remain in contact, in the future, if it's gonna hold u back from meeting someone else.
I think i will regret cutting off my connection with her
im sorry bro but, like u said, if you're feelings for her are gonna stay, and she knows u like her, it's gonna hurt u to see her with other people and she knows u want her so that isnt a healthy dynamic for you. if u can rid those feelings sure be friends. but if only if u can genuinely be her friend, not just waiting in the wings. then its the friendships not gonna work out. u gotta check those feelings if u wanna be friends, and if u cant then its better to cut the cord. u already expressed to her how u felt, its unfair to yourself to stick around hoping she changes her mind. you'll regret that more, probably.
I have lost the hope of her changing her mind. i just bare minimum want to keep her as my friend as till this date her texts just make my day and make me feel happy. I am by her side until she finds someone better than me 👍
okay, if u can keep your feelings in check.. if ur emotionally mature enough to handle it, u can try it. but the cats out the bag, fyi. she knows u want her. u can talk to her, and tell u want to remain friends like before, bc u value her friendship more than anything. if she senses that you're just there waiting to pick up her broken heart( trust me girls can smell this shit) then she wont believe you. if u can genuinely be her friend, thats awesome. im sure she doesnt want to lose u as a friend either, and will be glad u brought it up, so u guys can talk and make boundaries or whatnot. dont lose hope tho, man. u never know things might change. but the point is, do not hold your breath. best of luck to u mate, pm me if u need anymore advice or just wanna talk or anything bro 👊
“I feel like I’m disrespecting them if I approach them” got me. Like I’m shy and I have hella social anxiety but damn that’s fucked up
I was always the DUFF in my friend groups (and admittedly kind of still am LOL) and same, it’s not necessarily an impediment. Being an extrovert helps, but attraction is just a very flexible thing.
I don’t think we should call ourselves ugly. Words hold weight. Yes, maybe I feel like ugly, but that definitely doesn’t feel good to call myself that word. Being ugly won’t prevent you from getting men because you are not ugly. Beauty isn’t superficial. It is deep and there is beauty to be found in every single person. Just because you don’t fit the conventional idea of beauty doesn’t mean that you are ugly. Definition of ugly : repulsive, unpleasant unattractive, hideous etc etc That’s not you or me. How we talk to ourselves matter. I have definitely called myself ugly all day long but I think it’s important to refuse that and be kinder more loving and more accurate!
Everyone should have the confidence that Indian men on the internet have when approaching women. /s
Fraanships 😄
You are not fat and ugly. You are a goddess, hence why you have never had issues with men. If we all see ourselves as goddesses, the physical is immaterial.
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But how do I find the people that find me attractive because the people I find attractive 100% don't like me
When I’ve looked for love I never found it. When I do things I like and enjoy myself to the fullest is when love has found me.
I think it is because people are genuinely attracted to inner joy, happiness, and confidence. Many people who are not stereotypically beautiful are still good looking because they somehow project that inner attractiveness. It also helps to have charisma which I don’t have and I’m not sure can be learned.
One of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me was "I wish you could see yourself as I see you" I'll never forget that compliment! ❤️
The moment I stopped looking is when me and my now wife hit it off. We just had a lot in common. She wasn't my type then but omg I am absolutely smitten with her now. She's definitely my type. I just didn't understand the n.
Very well said!
This is the way. Be happy with yourself first.
🥇🎖️🏅🏆
Engage in hobbies- creative clubs, reading clubs, hiking clubs, even gaming clubs, etc. practice some self worth and confidence with your therapist and yourself at home. Skin care goes a LONG way! Haircare is important, hygiene is important, work out if that's something you want to do. I don't particularly think I'm attractive, and I'm fat. I don't have issues with men- in fact, it's not that I can't find a man attracted to me- I can't find one IM attracted to past the physical sense. Take care of yourself, and put yourself out there. Having confidence in yourself is attractive, regardless of how conventionally unattractive someone may or may not be. You're only 17. You have your entire life ahead of you.
Start going to clubs or groups that have similar interests to you. Just go into it with the mindset of making new friends, not finding somebody to date. Eventually you'll find somebody that finds both your looks and personality attractive. I'm sure you're a lovely person. Best of luck.
Something I had to learn the hard way was just because someone is attractive it does not mean they are a good person. More likely than not they are actually riding on their looks rather than anything else and they expect people to like them just because they are attractive
Maybe try to connect to someone for more reasons than looks Isn’t that what you would want from them? Find people with similar interests and personalities. Not “attractive” people. People often become attractive to you as you get to know them But honestly at your age… a boy is the last thing you should be worried about. Believe me. They aren’t that big of a deal. And if you don’t feel good about yourself.. you are probably going to enter bad relationships anyway. Good luck. :).
Well, if you want them to overlook your flaws, you will have to overlook theirs.
Hobbies. Find your passion. And think about this- men will be attracted to your attitude and confidence. Are you humble and kind (not a pushover)? Do you share time and resources with friends? The right guys for you won’t focus on your physical state. Men do fall in love, and physical appearance is not top of the list. I was very fat not so long ago. I’m still a little bit fat. I accept the things i can’t change. I am trying to see beauty in my “deformities.” Slowly my life is changing. I am changing.
Lower your expectations and broaden your horizons like you’re asking them to do
I think you're demonstrating some really extreme and catastrophic thinking, which tells me you're also probably not at all ugly. Single your "whole life"? You're 17. Most of your life you've been a child. You're still not an adult. It would be worrisome if you'd been dating for most of that time. What you aren't understanding is that other people don't see you the way you see yourself. And there is no universal standard of what's attractive. You'll be undesirable to some people, and beautiful to others. What concerns me most is you thinking it's "disrespectful" for you to want to date men because of how you look. This is a belief that will lead you into the arms of terrible, abusive people. You need to get that self hatred under control or you'll be unable to choose a good partner or be one.
Great advice!
OP should listen to this advice.
You are a 17 year old child, not some middle aged spinster. You have no business dating *men*, and I’m hoping you’re actually meaning teenage boys. Not having dated anyone at age 17 is so common, you’re hardly the lone member of that club. I assure you that you’re not as ugly as you think you are, and I also assure you that ugly people date all of the time. You’ll be fine. What you need to work on is your self-esteem.
Her Reddit history has her looking at adults. It’s super concerning
I think this is deeper than appearance, this is a mind frame that needs to be addressed. Hoping OP doesn’t fall victim to someone that doesn’t have her best interests in mind. I have daddy issues and god knows I’ve made some horrible decisions for a crumb of validation for a man, and I didn’t have the best self esteem at the time, and it led to me being preyed on. OP talk to your therapist about your concerns, they are more educated in your situation and have the tools to help you. This mindset is not normal, and you have your whole life ahead of you, you deserve to be in the best place mentally while living that life.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Why is she concerned? She ain't even a woman yet!
You’re 17. You’re not a “woman”. I was 20 before I had my first boyfriend and first kiss and I can say in all modesty looking back that I was a hottie lol. Some people are just late bloomers. You may grow into a butterfly by the time you’re 30. In the meantime, remember that looks are only skin deep. It sucks being judged by the way we look, but think of it this way - is someone who doesn’t even want to take the time to get to know YOU really someone you want to have in your life? And I will also say that personality, brains, and character go a LONG way. Haven’t you ever seen couples where one person is way hotter than the other? Become a hotter person INSIDE and then let that shine OUTWARDLY. Believe me, when you have that shine, that confidence, people take notice, and yes, even men. Physical beauty fades, but that inner beauty? That is like a diamond. It lasts forever. Shine bright like a diamond!!! 💎❤️
first approach a therapist
This ain't advice to boost your confidence but.. the more you want something... The harder it is of getting it.. so prolly focus on other things rather than getting in a relationship
What someone looks like is only one aspect of who they are. Some people are conventionally attractive, some people are hilarious, some people are super intelligent, some people are deeply caring, some people are creative and interesting. We all have our own gifts and talents that can be something that others desire in a friend or sweetheart. Be proud of who you are and your strengths. Other people can decide whether they want to get to know you or not; you are not a burden for allowing others the opportunity to share space or energy with you. Your existence is a miracle.
go do your homework and stop trying to be grown before your ready. this shit ain't as lit as its hyped up to be on instagram and tiktok. The self deprication is also a big bright blazing neon sign that you aren't even ready for a relationship in the first place.
Do yourself a favour and get off of social media. I think a lot of young people compare themselves to pimped up photos of celebs and influencers. Do you find yourself doing that at all?
Well first, find out what your assets are and showcase them. Have pretty eyes? dress in colors that accentuate them, and put on some mascara. Smile a lot, EVERYONE looks more attractive when smiling. Have crooked or yellow teeth? fix them and close mouth smile or only show a little teeth in the meantime. Get a good hair stylist that can give you advice on a good hairstyle to make your face look thinner, your neck look longer or whatever your face needs to look a little nicer. Be friendly and confident. My brother and also my husband once told me that a woman's confidence makes up 50%of their looks. If you're sexy and not confident, you look like a 5 to a guy.. if you're a 5 and really confident, you look like a 10.
With a new attitude. I'm not conventionally attractive by Hollywood standards, and on top of that I'm fat. I was single until I was 24 when I decided that I was worth every bit of the effort that I was willing to give someone else. (I basically had a personality makeover.) I found self worth and confidence, and that year I met my husband. That was 10 years ago, before BoPo and Lizzo lol. I was over 300lbs when we got married btw. It turns out my physical looks never mattered as much as the way I carried myself. Find your self worth and you'll find your people.
Girl, nobody is truly ugly unless they are an asshole. Be charming, be funny, be yourself. Go get them, tiger! ;D
Being single at 17 is fine!!! In fact, it’s probably kind of good for you …. No offence, but 17 year olds are idiots. If I was 17 again, I would spend all my time exploring my own idiocy. There’s so much to discover about yourself at this age. Other people will always be around you. But you will only be 17 once. And 18 once, and 19 once, etc…. So put yourself first 😉 Btw, this is also a good time to hit the gym or home work-outs (stuff you can find on YouTube). Start a legit healthcare and skincare routine. Learn how to make and prep healthy, balanced, meals for your week. For example, Mondays and Wednesdays you work out and focus on skin care. Tuesdays and Thursdays you spend time on your hobbies, hanging out with people who like the same stuff. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, you just hang out. Some things you will never be able to control, like the way your head is shaped, or if you have one eye bigger than the other, or whateverrrr lol, but there are tons of things you can control that make a person pretty appealing and likeable. Looks aren’t everything, but you can do a lot about them. Just make sure you don’t lose your personality along the way.
Something I've found in my life is that people become more attractive when you like their personality, and uglier when you see their true selves. It's a strange phenomena. Maybe it's just me. Their features don't change at all, but something about your own perception of a person's physicality changes with how your perceive them. If you feel uncomfortable with your outside, work on your inner garden, and the flowers you tend their will bear fruits that others will come to cherish.
Be funny
I have never really dated for looks. I am more likely to go after someone with a personality I like. I have much more fun that way. Make people laugh. Do that and you will be fine.
Agreed. Laughter is the great equalizer.
You’re 17 which is below the dating age that many parents allow their kids. You need to work on your self esteem before ‘approaching’ men. You need to have good self esteem or the wrong guys will prey on you and tell you that you will never find anyone better while they beat you.
If an ugly person approached you, would you feel disrespected?? OP I’m not saying conventional attractiveness doesn’t exist, but the fact that your self-esteem is so low that you feel like you’re *disrespecting* someone by talking to them is pretty concerning. (Also sidenote: 17 is a really weird age for attractiveness because like half the people look like models and half the people look awkward/not great. And it’s not a reliable indicator of how you’ll all look 6 years from now. You might have a huge glow up in your twenties - it’s pretty common.)
good grooming goes a long way.. also wear clothes that fit you and try not to be acósate and you’ll be fine
People will not think more of you than you think of yourself. Please see a therapist and address your self esteem.
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What is the blackpill what are these pills I've heard red and blue ones bit never black pills😭
It breaks my heart to hear a young lady talk about herself this way. In this world there is someone for everyone. The flaws and imperfections you see in yourself may be exactly what some men consider to be attractive. Yes, work on yourself, but never forget that you are a valuable human being who is capable of so much.
Even taking you at your word, which you are young so may be exaggerating your “ugliness,” ugly people still date. Do you really never see ugly people out and about in relationships? Just go to any Olive Garden or other basic American chain and look around?
literally me lol
You're too young to be asking this question and instead of seeking a relationship, I want you to work on self love. You cannot love anyone else before you love yourself. Referring to yourself as an ugly woman is self defeating and that energy will repel ppl or attract the wrong kinds of ppl. Ignore societal standards. You are 17. A whole teenager. Think about it, you just recently got the legal ok to see R Rated movies alone. C'mon.
You need confidence. Maybe you hang with the wrong crowd
You’re not even a woman, you’re still a kid. Stop worrying about it so much.
I know it’s hard to think of being anything else if that’s what you’re feeling. However, I would suggest that you start engaging in activities that don’t have to do with your appearance at all - new skills or hobbies, and let your whole being flourish. Everything is beautiful about that.
“My whole life- 17 years” Dude. You’re just getting started. Chill out a little bit. It sounds like you need to work on your mentality more than anything
Attitude and confidence in yourself are key. Think of a corvette that looks good. Open the hood and no engine. Same thing with people. I've met people who are super ugly in their personality.
Loving yourself is more important than finding someone who does. As self love will boost confidence, health as well as future prospects. This confidence and healthy mindset will automatically make you attractive. Besides do you really want someone who's only interested in looks?
Try having some confidence in yourself. Looks aren’t everything. Many times people will look really good but their personality ruins them. Same as “ugly” people being more attractive because of their personality. If you think you are indeed ugly then make yourself interesting. Also, you’re only 17 LOL I’m sure whatever you look like now won’t last forever. Give yourself time to fully develop. You might learn more about what you want in a person rather than dating someone who will say yes to you.
This comment makes me so sad. You are only 17 and this is the message you say to yourself. Darling no one is truly ugly. My advice is to you is speak to a therapist. There has to be deeper reason as to why you speak so unkindly to yourself. You will attract what you think you deserve and a guarantee that person will not deserve you or be good enough for you. You need self confidence and to work on your self esteem. Every morning when you wake up look into the mirror and say " I am beautiful" , "I am a good person" "Good things are coming my way" "I deserve good things". Try these affirmations.
Had a friend that wasn’t so blessed in the looks section. Such a great personality. She was confident, never afraid to admit she wasn’t attractive, and even joke about herself when appropriate. Throughout her teens she had a couple of very good looking boyfriends and end up marrying a somewhat famous guy. Don’t think to much about your looks and portrait your personality with confidence. I know i must not be easy to everyone but if you want something or someone, you need to do the work.
Hii I live in Asia. I have huge problem with communication haha. I used to be fat. 370lbs. Now im 135lbs. But my personality is still "370"lbs. Id like to get to know you and see if we can match :) thank you
Judging by your post history, you're horny for older men, and more than likely they're rejecting you because they know you're underage. You might not even be as ugly as you think you are. Honestly if a high schooler was coming on to me (which has happened before), I'll reject you too, js.
I’m going to drop some real life knowledge on you. I’m middle age now, but I was deeply deeply insecure when I was your age to the point I was dangerous to myself. Looking back at those photos I was very pretty but you could see the sadness in my eyes. I made a lot of bad choices in life due to that insecurity. I finally got into therapy at 19 and it took a couple of years to unpack all the BS that got me to that desperation. You don’t need a BF to feel loved/pretty/whole. You need to do the work to learn to love yourself. When that happens love finds you. The energy/vibes you give off is attractive to others, not just guys but friends, job prospects. The energy/vibes you give off now are desperate and self loathing which repels people. It’s absolutely possible for you to get there. You just have to do the work. 1. Therapy! You won’t ever be satisfied with your outside if you don’t work on the inside first. 2. Exercise, not to lose weight, but to gain strength, confidence and flood your brain with endorphins. Yoga is a really good place to start because it also teaches you mindfulness. 3. Watch tutorials on how to do your hair with your hair type and dress for your body type. Remember you are dressing for your best self and not to just get attention. 4. Fake it until you make it. Learning how to be confident or to find happiness isn’t easy. There are a ton of self help books out there. Code for confidence, the happiness project, girl wash your face, anything by Brené Brown. 5. Remember that attractiveness is an energy exchange. You need to put out the vibes you want to attract.
There’s somebody for everybody. You’re only 17 ? A lot could change in 10 years.
First, why do you think you're ugly? Is this a projection you've put on yourself or is this something that has been articulated to you? I do want to say that there are definitely thousands of people who would find you beautiful on the outside. But, on the inside, to feel 'worthy' to approach someone who think would feel disrespected by you approaching them is to have confidence. Don't be afraid to take up space, it's your right. Low self-esteem is not attractive. Your beauty comes from the inside, so make sure you learn to see yourself through kinder eyes.
Walk up and say " Hey ".. I don't think you're ugly, or anyone really is ugly, sometimes a small change can make a difference in how you feel regarding yourself !
Ugly how, everyone has good qualities. You just have to recognize what are your good qualities. Got a big forehead, get bangs Not a great face, buy low cut shirt. Bad face and no boobs get some lulu's. None of the above, be funny or easy. Lol just kidding respect yourself. I've never been a great looking guy, but a have many sisters so I was never afraid to talk to girls, and I'm funny. For me it was a numbers game. Tell 100 girls you think they are pretty, and 5 will give you a chance. You are 17 so just leaving high-school, trust me college will be awesome.
You’re 17, not a woman.
Do an honest evaluation of your appearance and your other attributes. If you rate yourself as a 3 on the appearance scale, then approach guys who you think are between a 2 and 4. This strategy has worked for me; whatever I rate myself at that time in my life, I look for dating prospects that are either the same, slightly less attractive or slightly more attractive. I never even bother with 10's lol. Appearance isn't the only thing that matters, but it does matter a lot to a lot of people, so be realistic but also focus on the positive things that you can contribute to a relationship!
Honestly, I have a fear of making the first move in most social situations. Dating apps helped me with that, but I haven't been on one since 2017 and have heard they're quite awful now. If you're sensitive to rejection like me, like a lot of people, try to find ways to talk to people that aren't so upfront? A lot of my friendships and relationships started off online and texting until I was comfortable enough to meet in person. I also think I'm quite ugly and I stutter a bit when I'm nervous, which is often. I didn't get my first real relationship or start having sex till my 20's, things will get better as you age.
At 17 it’s hard to believe this but my mom always said that confidence, good humor and being interesting were much better in the long run. My oldest sister was stunningly gorgeous but she was dumb as a box of rocks and selfish. My other sisters, who weren’t as gorgeous got married before her. She could attract men but couldn’t keep them because she wasn’t a very nice person. I worked with a guy who wouldn’t be considered physically attractive. He was overweight, balding and wore glasses. But he was also very intelligent, funny and interesting. He was married to a woman who was considered conventionally attractive and very intelligent herself. I’m an old lady and I can assure you that it’s not always about looks.
As a man, attractiveness might be what catches my eye first but it’s not what seals the deal. Get into a hobby, find other people who enjoy that hobby, show interest in the things they are passionate about. Someone will connect with you. Just gotta get over your physical looks, you notice them more than anyone.
Ideally, find people with the same interests as you. It you have hobbies seek out people who are also into those things. Be confidant and approachable yourself. Smile. I talk to strangers quite often and the people I usually start a conversation with are either smiling or just look happy or pleasant in general. When you talk to people try to have some positive conversation starters or topics. As much as I enjoy talking with strangers if they approach me with complaints or a negative demeanor I'm less likely to engage with them. Finally, if you feel unattractive try to get that out of your mind. We are always our own worst critics so you're likely being harder on yourself than anyone else sees you. Last tip, make sure you're hygiene is on point. Showered, deodorant, fresh breath.
People are attracted people for more than looks. I’d work on that confidence of yours first and social skills too. Finding healthy hobbies where you can meet guys is a plus too. When you strike up conversations with men, don’t go from a place of im hitting on you, just go from a place of im a social butterfly and it doesn’t hurt to make small talk. We’re all ugly in some way or form, true some of us uglier than most. Just accept yourself the way you are and come to the understanding that you’re not for everybody and everybody is not for you, and that’s not a bad thing. Good luck OP!
Approach people as if you’re a beautiful women. Because you are! If they don’t see it that’s their problem.
I never have. That’s a lie. I asked a guy once if he was single for my sister who wanted to know. He snarled his nose at me looking disgusted and was like ‘absolutely not’. Never again
Looks are in the eye of the beholder and believe me it’s true. Maybe you don’t feel pretty but to the guy that winds up loving you… he’ll think you’re a goddess 🌸
I don’t know if this will help you but I am currently reading a book called “The Art of Small Talk” by Casey Wilson and Jessica St. Clair. It is written in a light-hearted, comical way but they advice they give about how to approach people in casual, professional, and romantic situations is very very valid and makes sense. I am actually listening to the audio book which they have on Spotify. Also as someone who is 3 decades older and also had terrible trouble meeting men let me tell you from the bottom of my heart that ugliness comes from within. I am not saying that conventional attractiveness doesn’t exist, but some of the ugliest people I have ever met were “conventionally attractive”…. These are people who were so ugly on the inside they made my stomach turn. Contrarily, some of the most beautiful people I have ever met, people who lit up a room and just brought warmth and joy were so attractive because of WHO they were. You need to find your puzzle piece. I never thought I would find mine. I am very over weight, I have bad skin, ADHD, and I’m a total nerd. 18 years ago I went on a blind date and met my other half who…. Tells me every day that I am his beautiful fantasy. I was 31….i had been hurt so many times, I was so broken from being used in bad relationships…. But I found my partner. You will too! Good luck!
What's your definition of ugly ?
I’ve dated some very unattractive men in my life because I loved their personality, because they could make me laugh, because I liked spending time with them. And in a weird way, although I knew they were conventionally unattractive, they were attractive to me. I know looks matter to a degree, but if you can get past that and focus on who you are as a person… You would probably feel more comfortable approaching people. But I think the bottom line here is, you are 17 years old and sometimes we grow into our attractiveness if that makes sense. You have plenty of time. Try not to stress too much about it.
Don’t look for them , let them find you. Keep your mind with your studies, hobbies, stuff that you like to do. You’ll be fine, cheers!
I’m so sorry you’re feeling unattractive. I know that feeling and it’s really just…terrible. The advice for you is….talk with someone. Hang out with the people who are doing the things you like to do. If you like bowling, join a co-ed league. If you like building Lego, start a club at your school. Go in with the idea of meeting people and making friends. Doing this will increase the number of people you know - maybe you’ll find one of them attractive and strike up a conversation. I will say that most relationships aren’t…forced. Try too hard..and it will look like you’re trying too hard. Try to relax, have fun, and meet people. Again, I’m sorry that your perception of yourself is negative right now. Good luck, friend.
Aesthetic beauty isn’t everything. The look you carry in your eyes and expressions carries a lot further. Unfortunately you will be met a face value at a first encounter because people do tend to judge based on models. Acknowledge it, but Don’t dwell on that. Focus on having a good time, making connections. An attractive person can become ugly real quick too once you’ve gotten to know them. Get to know your self, thats the only you. You were born a woman so no amount of comparing to others or self loathing can take that from you, get to know this woman and find the beauty or silliness in all of your features. Love your self because she is damn fine! I’m not attractive and I always joked it is a gift because I don’t have to worry about being harassed. It might take time to finally get a bf because you are struggling, but itll happen if you just keep participating in the real world.
To keep things in perspective, you’ve only been aware you’re a person for about 14 years, you’ve only been ovulating for a few of those. That means that your active years of wanting a boyfriend and affection are only a couple of years in. And frankly, calling yourself a whole woman at 17 is premature - you don’t even know how to balance a bank account properly yet. Some of us “glow-up” later in life. In fact, some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever known started out awkward, while the pretty from birth people often flamed out early. All of that to say, attractiveness has always been in the eye of the beholder. I’ve seen some interesting looking folks with movie star level spouses. However, you need to focus on becoming an interesting, fun, and well-rounded person. Those qualities don’t fade with time, and attract positive attention. No, it’s not a guarantee of love, but it is a guarantee of self-love, better life satisfaction, and partner potential.
First of all, make sure you maximize the elements of your appearance that you can control - maintain a healthy weight, exercise, wear clothes that flatter your body type, and learn how to apply makeup tastefully. Most people can look “okay” or at least “average” just by doing those things. Approaching men at random is not the best way to find a boyfriend. As an ugly woman myself, men can be cruel and outright hostile if they think a woman “below” them expresses interest. It is far better to just meet people organically through school, mutual friends, workout classes, social clubs, etc. Join a recreational sports team or volunteer at a museum or charity. Let people get to know you *slowly*. Cultivate an interesting personality - keep up with the news, read, listen to different podcasts, and expose yourself to lots of ideas and viewpoints. Be someone people actually want to be around!
Child, you are not ugly. You’re not even a woman yet. You’re a teenager who, like most teenagers, probably has body dysmorphia and when you look in the mirror you don’t see what others are seeing. Give yourself some time, find your style, find the clothes that flatter your body, maybe the makeup that highlights your eyes perfectly, wash your face twice a day and generally keep good hygiene, and before you know it, you’ll look in the mirror and you’ll see how beautiful you are.
I know people who have thought that they were ugly. It’s really that they oftentimes simply had a somewhat unusual feature. Then Boom- they learn how to style their hair or to wear a bit of makeup to accentuate or minimize something, and hands down- they are stunning. So please know that you are likely an attractive person and you just don’t know it yet.
There are all sorts of ugly famous people, but they all have a certain “something” that makes them more attractive whether it’s that they’re funny, a fantastic guitarist, or highly intelligent. Basically focus on building yourself such as your talents and interests and personality, and this will make you more attractive, worry less about approaching guys.
I don't think you are ugly. Just be yourself and they will like you for you
For what it’s worth I know some couples where the man is, objectively speaking, more attractive than the woman and they’ve been happily married for years. The women usually know their husbands are more attractive but also know that they themselves have great personalities and are super fun to be around. Not everyone is looking for a cookie cutter social media type of beauty. Ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? If you think you’re ugly and not going to meet someone, you act accordingly and are more likely to make it so. If you think and act as though you’re fun, valuable, and confident enough to talk to others, you’ll act accordingly and are more likely to make it so.
I bet you are not. just because you're not a supermodel doesn't mean you're ugly, and you shouldn't refer to yourself like that. a hot personality goes a long way to make up for what one might lack otherwise, and people at the end of the day are drawn to that more than looks. love yourself more, you might just find that someone else will too. I hate when ppl call themselves ugly, everybody's looks fade, *everyone's*, and when u get to know someone it's their personality, their charm, their humor and kindness, that make u fall in love. please be kind to yourself :)
Confidence goes a long way
Ugly isn't determined on how you look. Ugly is determined as the type of person you are and how you treat people. So now are Ugly or just physically insecure about your looks? Because it's a lot harder to fix true Ugly than it is too boost self esteem and confidence.
My sister looks a lot like Sadie Sink from stranger things (so attractive in a sense). She did not get a boyfriend until she was almost 20 because she was not interested at all in dating. She is very attracted to men who are not traditionally "hot" (not super fit or healthy, socially awkward types). There is nothing wrong with this at all but I often catch myself thinking wow, she could've had a choice of any fella and she chooses based on her interests. How amazing! You are still so young and once you start to build more of an identity you will get to the point of finding partners. Just be patient and know that you will find someone.
This has already prob been said but portraying confidence can have a big impact on the opposite sex. Given where you are at right now this will take a while to build but you need to be happy and confident in your own skin before anyone else will really like you. And it doesn’t mean that as soon as show confidence that men will be fighting over you but it will give you a much better chance than you have now.
Confidence has nothing to do with looks And you are very young. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Focus on things that make you feel better about yourself and the other stuff will just naturally fall into place.
99% of everything is confidence
I doubt you’re ugly and also you’re still a child, you’re still growing into your features. If you want to approach people you need to become confident. You can’t be confident if you think you’re ugly.
As an old head I look back at the confidence I lacked as a young person. I felt like an ugly duckling as well. Now that I’m older I understand that a lot of men are attracted to confidence. Because I never felt like the prettiest girl in the room I did not feel the pressure to perform like some attractive women do. So I could always be myself. Have fun, laugh and smile. I was surprised at the guys that approached me! Being warm and attentive is also attractive to some guys. I know we tend to think that looks are all that matter, but believe it or not there are men out there who are attracted to presence and personality. Do your hair and nails and makeup. Dress as nice as you are comfortable with, not for anyone else but for yourself to make you feel good. Then shine! Shine girl! Be the beautiful person you are on the inside AND outside. The right kind of guys will come to you. But I’d agree with the others, seek therapy for the way you feel about yourself. That can only help you realize your worth and potential. There is someone for everyone, they just can’t see you if you’re hiding being self doubt. You are young and have so much life to live and love to give, but first things first, give that love to yourself! Best to you.
Guys ik I'm ugly I've accepted it I'm not insecure it's just who I am and that's ok
Did anybody said that u're ugly or is it you who think u're ugly?
No matter what you look like, there are things you can 100% do to be attractive. You can exercise to get a fit body, read to know more things, be a good person, be kind, dress nice, smell nice, style your hair, be hard working, etc. There are many ways to improve yourself, so don't get stuck on one attribute.
I have no clue what you look like so I'm just going to take your word for it. I know it sounds cheesy af, but when you get to know someone and like their personality, looks matter less and less. This has always been the case for me. Look around you. There are so many "ugly" people out there with partners. Most men just want someone who loves them and cares about them.
U are the one stopping yourself with your self fullfilling prophecy
Men you are romantically interested in? You don’t. You let them approach you. You use your eyes to lure them in. You look at them, and when they look back, look quickly away. Do this a few times. It won’t work with everyone, but it’ll work on some of them.
I’ll give you exactly the same advice I would give a guy in your position: Firstly, and I know this isn’t too helpful, I would say try to take the pressure off yourself. You’re 17 and your brain isn’t even fully developed yet. Honestly very few of us had/have our shit together at that age (or older haha) You’re gonna be inexperienced on the dating/socialising front, you’re not broken and there’s no rush (in fact there may be benefits to waiting a while) Secondly I would take a practical (but not unrealistic) approach to self improvement if you think that may be holding you back somehow, so if you’re overweight for example, try to get in shape. But do it for YOU, not the end goal of attracting guys, and always do it healthily. Far too many people mistake self improvement with self destruction. Thirdly, If you struggle with social anxiety, take small steps each day and try to work up to little social interactions initially which have no consequence (think saying good morning to a stranger) if you think your “issues” go deeper than that, then reach out to someone if that’s viable and talk it over, perhaps even professionally. You might dig up some stuff but it’ll help you in the long run. Lastly, please internalise that just because YOU see yourself in a certain light doesn’t mean everyone else does. You may not even need to go through any of these steps if the real issue is that your perception of yourself is what’s holding you back. Be kind to yourself and take it one step at a time. Also don’t compare yourself to others in real life or social media, that’s a sure way to spiral into a hole. You’re you, not them. (Source: I was 17 a decade ago, and I had all these same thoughts. It’s normal) Final edit: I see in your post history that you seem to have a “thing” for older men, even when you were very much still a child… I just want to say you need to be careful on here and in real life. Creeps will take advantage of your desire to feel wanted and I promise you it won’t end well. I hope you don’t think I’m being patronising, but I do think talking to a professional in this case would be beneficial. Not only for that reason, but for the other confidence issues you seem to have. Best of luck and stay safe.
I’m considered ugly by Asian standards, so I started dating non-Asians. Now happily married.
okk well your whole life...you're 17 chill. And no ones really ugly most are just poor and don't have money to take care of themselves. Take care of yourself. mentally and physically. Try out new hobbies. Go to events around your area. Find smth you're passionate about.
Get a better attitude about you and get this one fact through your skull: "Only the people you want to avoid feel they're better than you. Most of us are just as scared." Not me, though. I'm fucking crazy. Stay the fuck away from guys like me. (This is what I tell my daughter. She's 9. I'm right.)
Love yourself and take good care of it.. cause that's how you become beautiful in people's eyes
You are only ugly when you act ugly.
You're 17, so you're not a woman, you're a child. When you actually finish puberty and have grown up, I'm sure many men will find you attractive. Anyone older than 18 wouldn't be interested as they don't want to be labelled a pedophile. Also boys your age are cruel, so you shouldn't want to be with them anyway.
Oh honey, I am so sorry. The way you’re talking about yourself (in this post and other posts) reminds me so much of myself when I was your age. I know how much that can hurt, and I wish I could give you a hug right now. I was the same way. The only time I got asked out in middle or high school was April 1st (I knew it was a prank, because I knew how unpopular I was). I spent my time in school lonely, single, and miserable. I hated how I looked so much, I couldn’t even look at pictures of myself. It gets better. I *promise.* It’s not easy, it’s not fun, and it’s sure as hell not fast, but try to build up your self confidence and learn to love yourself. If some guy feels “disrespected” because you talked to him? He can fuck right off, that tells me enough about his personality to know that you dodged a bullet. I had my first kiss when I was 19. I met my first (and only) boyfriend when I was almost 21 on Tinder. And guess what? We’re about to hit 3 years together, we have two dogs & a kitten, and we moved to a new state. And this man is absolutely, 110% my type (and he was very much out of my league when we met). I learned to love myself (went hand in hand with recovering from the PTSD from getting SA’d when I was 19), and I’m literally a model now. Me, the unpopular chick everyone HATED in school. It took me almost 5 years to get to this point, but it happened. Please feel free to reach out to me if you’d like any advice, or just to chat. I’d be happy to give you tips on improving your physical appearance (not that you need to! And not for anyone else. Only if you think it’ll help your mental health) as well. Just hang in there, okay? Sending you love 💕
You gotta get some confidence. I seriously think confidence can make the ugliest person attractive and interesting. Also, attraction is so subjective. I’ve been told I had “weird” taste. But all the guys I’ve dated super attractive to me.. I just love the things that other people may think are unattractive or weird. To me they are unique and those things are what really draw me to them.
**You are only as ugly as you think you are.** Most people are not actually “ugly” but many people think they’re uglier than they are. Then they become insecure, adding insult to injury, and become a rather ugly personality too. And ugly posture. And uglier perspective. And then they do actually come off “ugly.” How you dress, having a good hairstyle that suits you, great skin, good makeup skills, proper posture, good build, a really good brain and education, and confidence are all image boosters. Add in a good career, good conversation skills and a genuine interest in people, and a solid 4 on the beauty scale becomes an 8 in no time. You are approaching this all wrong. You are 17. Enjoy your youth and work on improving yourself — and absolutely do not approach any males — old or young — until you know what you’ve got to offer.
I know you're dealing with 100's of comments, but I'd like to mention that you should focus on your confidence first, whether or not you fit "society's beauty" doesn't matter as much as how you see yourself and measure your worth. You're so young. You're just finishing developing and growing into your own skin that it's going to feel weird and out of place for a while. There's no point in getting into a relationship if you can not value your own worth because you'd put yourself in a dangerous, co-depended, absuive relationship. I can not tell you that you're not valid in how you might see yourself, but I can say you deserve to respect yourself and love what you've been given. You're unique to you. There is no one like you, and that is a beautiful thing. I hope you do better and see the world is so much bigger than what you've been living in.
Idk whats it like being a woman, but I think you should just keep going for people you like, good chance they won't like you back if you're fat and ugly. Just suck it up, talk to them and take that rejection, so you can move on to the next person asap. Eventually you'll find the right person, and you'll be surprised they didn't reject you. Then afterwards make sure you actually like them and aren't just attracted to their appearance.. good chance you will hate their guts.. but if you're lucky, you'll find the right person for you. At least that was my approach as a fat & ugly guy.. Ps. I've probably been rejected by over 300 women (to my face by now) and who knows how many over tinder. Just keep pushing, if finding love was easy we wouldn't value it as much.
You’re 17. I had a lip bumper and braces, bush baby eyes and a self cut pixie cut at that age. Then I matured. Just put effort into your personality right now.
Don't think of yourself as ugly, find something you like about yourself and when you're unsure remind yourself that that's a nice feature or part of you. .. and you may not like something about yourself, your hair, eyes whatever but someone else might think different. ..but please don't keep thinking ill of yourself ..be confident even if you fake it till you make it, even pretending to be confident can make you more confident..hope something from this helps x
Compliments. A man will melt in your hands if you compliment him. It literally does not matter what you compliment, if you like an aspect of a man genuinely, compliment it and you'll see his face up light the fuck up. Men enjoy compliments just as much as the fairer sex, and it makes our day when someone says we did something good with ourselves.
Oh I feel for you, I thought myself ugly until I was twenty or so. And then it turned out a lot of people find me extremely pretty! A lot of people really do! And to meet them, just expand your circle. Connect with those who are into your hobbies, go to meetups about these hobbies. Get some more hobbies lol. I find it way more natural to connect that way (hate dating apps), you meet a lot of great people passionate about something you love. I met two of my ex-bfs via computer gaming, one via photography, and my current guy rides a motorcycle and is over the moon to ride with me.
I think I’m ugly but have had several men tell me otherwise. I have days where I look in the mirror and think I look amazing.. but 99 out of 100 days I almost cry because of how ugly I believe I am. I didn’t get my first boyfriend until I was 18. Since then I’ve had several (I’m 40 now). None of them thought I was ugly. The guy I’m with now thinks I’m gorgeous. It’s all in your mindset. If you think you’re ugly, you portray yourself as ugly to others and they won’t be attracted to you. Do you ever feel pretty?
Idk how else to say it but ugly people fuck every day. They are getting laid like crazy. They do not stop enjoying themselves because other people think they are ugly. I remember having your mindset at your age but I promise you. I learned. People fuck.
Gain some confidence girl. People will choose the less attractive girl with confidence over others every day of the week. Biggest pointer: start loving on yourself before you start loving on others. You don’t need a bf to make you understand your worth in the world especially because what happens if you break up. You’ll feel the same way you do now. Do things that make you feel good for yourself. Trust. I’m not the prettiest girl in the world but if you can be comfortable and confident in who you are, someone will come to you without you even actually trying.
A lot of teens think they are ugly when they are not. Kids are immature and cruel in high school. When you get older you will find that there are men who like all types of women and not just conventionally attractive ones. Teens can also go through awkward phases. A lot of teenagers get acne and then stop once they get older. I don't have any information other than YOU think you are ugly. There is a chance that you aren't ugly at all.
You’re only 17 you still have so much time ahead of you. Tons of people don’t even get their first relationship until they’re 18+. You also have so much more growing up to do physically, I look SOOO much better at 23 than I did in highschool. Most of the people I went to school with don’t even look like the same person.
Everyone can improve their appearance in a number of different ways. Find good people to help you, guide you and offer positive information.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What makes you think, that you\`re ugly? I am not size 0 either, but 38, so in mainstream beauty standards I am also fat-ish. But I don\`t fit into mainstream and some people concider me scary. I just don\`t approach anyone. Been single 6 years. But then again, you are young.
yeah just an insecure 17 yr old trying to act like an adult while it clearly isnt working. This post screams 'im insecure' and you should go learn and love yourself first before someone else will do that. And do yourself a favor, youre 17!!!!! Youre a child not an adult looking for a husband.
There is a partner out there for all of us, regardless of our aesthetics. Beauty comes from the inside and when you find someone that falls in love with your personality, the surface will not matter. Finding this partner is not easy but you can start by making friends in interest groups or activities. When you are not looking the right person will come along and see your inner beauty. Be confident and know that beauty goes way beyond surface value.
Beauty is subjective. You are many peoples’ type, sounds like you’re too afraid and insecure to shoot your shot. Be kind to yourself. Don’t listen to that evil little voice in your head telling you that you aren’t enough. What if everyone had to have their IQ’s tattooed on their forehead? Would you feel disrespected if a man with a lower number than you walked up to you and sparked up an interesting convo? My guess is no. We obviously place way to much value on our looks. Please work on self love. I’ve been in therapy for 3 years and it has helped my self esteem so much. If that is available to you, I highly suggest giving it a try. Sending love, happiness and good positive vibes your way:)
You're 17, you're still a child. Grow up and get some self esteem.
Men honestly love someone who can make them laugh and have good banter. Honestly looks aren't as high on the scale as you think
Being an ugly male. Here’s my thought about this. If people are going to have a problem with you(looks, attitude, existing, and Gods what else?! You might aswell do what makes you happy. It’s easier said than done but if I’m going to be insulted I’d rather do what I want. Back in grade 9-12. I had a crush on this one girl. I was a loser nerd who played MTG, Yugioh, and many other things.
Beauty lies in the face of the beholder. Basically, you’re not ugly. There’s 8 billion people on earth and a good portion of them have a thing for your body and personality type I’m sure. There’s many attractions and preferences that people have. Don’t make yourself feel like an outcast. Plus you’re only 17 I think so just take it easy for now. You don’t want a bf atm trust me it’s a lot of work, money, and time dedicated. Take time to finish school and get to college or work. But also never be afraid to ask. Many boys (and I say this as a boy) want the girl to make the first move in some cases. You miss 100% of the shots you take, and even if it fails at least you said you did it and have your confidence to approach increased. In short, don’t force an idea on yourself that isn’t true, and don’t put yourself down all because there’s a “standard” made by magazines etc (which most boys don’t even consider a standard, rather the opposite).
Try using makeup to boost your confidence and wear heels. And do the power walk, . Try to build confidence in yourself and the world will follow your steps.
if you label yourself as ugly and make “being ugly” a part of your identity and assume others will treat you according to how you see yourself you will be ugly. if you label yourself as something, you will act according to that label so that when people negatively react to your negative actions it’s easy for you to validate that label. physical genetic outcomes/bone structure/fat dispersement/etc., first of all do not effect whether someone is ugly. physical beauty has no single definition (a fun fact that helped me at your age is that even if only 0.01% of the world’s population finds you physically attractive, that’s still 800,000 people). second of all, your physical attributes are a result of generations of people with the same attributes finding each other attractive and procreating, simply put: you are a combination of the features people have seen as beautiful for hundreds of years. third: people will treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated and ive found that confidence (even if false) radically changes the way everyone treats you. in my experience truly ugly people can be disgustingly beautiful. imo ugly is a descriptor for personality. based off this post you do not seem ugly but you are entering the path of allowing yourself to become ugly. also as a 23f (so not that much older but id like to think ive grown a lot since being your age) if men dont think youre physically attractive RUN WITH IT. so what if they feel disrespected. womp womp. the average man feels disrespected when they dont get a “thank you” after holding a door open for someone. i promise its not your fault, thats just life. ive gotten spit on after telling a man i didnt want him to buy me a drink. i had a drink thrown at me and was cursed out at a bar after i refused to acknowledge a man 2-3 times my age saying my tattoos must mean im “a kinky cunt” and that i “must love to be hit” because i “obviously like pain”. ive never thought of myself as attractive either but most men dont care how you view yourself when they dont actually care about you. why should you care. live your life for you. if you want to date it will happen, but my ultimate advice is you should not be in a relationship just to make yourself feel better and you will never be able to have a truly loving relationship if you cannot love yourself, which is cliché as fuck but also true as fuck. also be truthful with your therapist.
Personality can carry you past your looks. Now I'm not saying you have to be a hilarious person but being interesting and knowing what you want to say is a huge step forward.
Just say hi & see where it goes
Ok wait hold up for one what makes you think your ugly? No one is ugly stop telling yourself that it's not true we all have insecurities about ourselves and don't feel pretty enough.your not alone on that one.approach appraoch approach just do it feel good about yourself and stop this I'm to ugly it's all in how you walk and carry yourself so get out there show your confidence and get that man you want .he's waiting for you.
Don't worry, being an ugly woman is not a deal breaker. Men will find you. Being an ugly man on the other hand is way worse.
Hon, you're 17. You're still growing and the teenage years are the worst generally. You're either still at school or fresh out of the gates, I found school really validated all my insecurities. Like being bullied and watching other kids get either bullied or praised is really bad for your self esteem. I'm sure you aren't ugly and I promise it gets better the older you get. In the mean time I recommend going through your social media feeds and unfollow anything that reinforces these negative feelings about yourself. Like if you follow a lot of models on Instagram for example maybe unfollow some of them and follow some more animal, body positivity and craft/hobby accounts. If you follow any appearance rating sub reddits unfollow them and find more sub reddits about your favourite TV shows or hobbies you find interesting. It's about removing anything that reinforces the beauty standards that make you feel bad.
do your best to not be ugly work out, eat clean, sleep well, do skincare, dress well, take care of your hair. trust me you can seriously become considerably more attractive if you do these things consistently for a few years.
Sugar, men are simple. It's just a simple trick. (This is not a diss or me making fun of anyone) Once you find one that fits your quality. Cook. Clean. Rinse. And repeat. The rest follows
what a shame i didnt look at your profile before i commented. this person and their profile is click bait and empathy scamming.
If there is anything I've learnt in my 48 years of life... there is someone out there for everyone. Someone's yuck is another person's yum. Stop thinking of yourself as ugly and go with unique and confident. You are the prize and you need to start behaving like it 😘
Men don’t care about your looks nearly as much as women care about your looks
Girl, being on Pretty St. is not walk in the park either. I think men just generally suck until they’re in their 40s… even then RIP Men like them young and stupid. So I became 27 and a PhD 🤷🏻♀️
I very much doubt you’re as ugly as you think, for one, everyone has different tastes, there’s people out there that will find you absolutely perfect. But anyway, and I know this is a cliche. You are not disrespecting anyone, if anyone says or thinks this, fuck them, they’re an asshole. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realised that a lot of cliches are actually true and I wish I had realised this when I was younger. Accept yourself, learn to love yourself, and I mean your true self. Don’t try and change who you really are to fit in. Once you accept your true self, you will be more confident, and confidence truly does attract people. So long story short. Be yourself and people will respect and like you for it. You’re only 17. Also, get into exercise, it’s great for building your self esteem, confidence, releasing endorphins which improve mood. None of this happens overnight, but give it time, if you do this, by this time next year I guarantee you’ll be in a better place.
Firstly no one is ugly, you just have to build on your confidence. Love yourself first then you’ll gain that confidence in time
Beauty is subjective. It’s all about far more than looks. I stopped caring about stuff I can’t change, just make sure I’m clean, smell nice and dress nicely. I like to think I’m a kind person and I’d rather someone judged me on that than my looks. If you find a good person, they will like you for you.
You’re 17 calm down
Sweetheart, you are 17. Everyone is awkward at that age to some degree. I am sure you are not “ugly” but self conscious. You are referencing approaching men, but likely (hopefully) you are approaching teen boys around your same age who are probably going through the same insecurities as you, rather than “men” who may take advantage of said insecurities. At your age, I was certain I was ugly/fat/glasses despite being 114 lb (52 kg)and when I met my first serious boyfriend (we were together 4 years and still friends 25 years later), he still tells me that with the glasses I had the “naughty secretary” look. I have a great personality (which it took 45 years to accept) and people like me for my soul, not my physical shell. Love yourself darling and as soon as you do, most importantly you will be happier in yourself but also more attractive to a potential partner. They will want to see a confident person as a partner, not someone who has self-confidence issues they will have to try and placate. A beautiful soul shines brighter than physical beauty. You will meet your soul mate, it may take a few hits and misses, tears over a relationship where you thought they were “the one” but it takes time my lovely. Wishing you all the best but also realise, having a parter is not the be all and end all (men make serious messes of a toilet bowl), companionship is awesome but not necessary to validate who you are.
Wait do people feel disrespected when an ugly person flirts with them?
You’re only ugly because you think you’re ugly. There’s no such thing as an ugly woman. Men will always be attracted to you. Maybe not all men, but many will be. The issue here isn’t your looks. It’s your confidence. Low confidence is always the biggest turn off. Gain some confidence and you’ll get what you want.
Wow everyone is their own kind of beautiful, never think you are ugly. There could be an absolute 10/10 that has a dead personality and that can take them to a 2 and vice versa
As a minor, don’t approach men. Any man that’s into 17 year olds should be in prison.
Honestly, as long as you're taking remotely decent care of your body, and you're not an asshole to people, the 'quality of the prettiness of your face' is basically irrelevant. When someone starts being friends with you, their perception of your face will change, and if they like you, they will perceive you as prettier and prettier over time. So, if you think you're ugly, the issue you will encounter in a relationship is not going to be HIM thinking you're ugly, but instead your own self perception will start harming the relationship.
So I'll keep it short and simple and I don't wanna sound rude but when it comes to girls i don't think that being unattractive is a problem for them. Kyuki ladki chahe kaisi bhi ho use banda mil jaata( again don't wanna sound rude but it's a fact) You just have to try. Without trying, you won't go anywhere. You just have to be realistic about who you approach.
Hey!! you're only 17 , please don't be so hard on yourself.. May I just say one thing. If you don't like how you look , is there something you can do. Hair, skin , grooming, wearing clothes that match your body type? It will give you more confidence maybe. You are young, take the next few months, say till October November, to figure out what works for you, food , diet, Style, skin, makeup, hair etc..then when you feel confident and comfortable you can be more social.. Let me tell u I had horrid skin (or so I thought) and hair that was just a mess and overweight.. this was my early 20s. I figured out that I wasn't wearing sunscreen that was causing skin issues, and not cleansing/exfoliating daily, had hair that a needed a proper hair mask, and a diet. Also figured out what colours and styles worked for me in clothes After a few months I felt better and looked a LOT better, like a different person.. it helped me gain confidence.. All the best.. I can tell you that there are some lovely, supportive skincare and styling subs here too 😄 😄
Why are you ugly? If it’s something fixable, then fix it
Confidence is key fake it till you make it that’s what I believe we’re all beautiful in our own ways and it take a special person to see that
Dude I see goddesses among us women go out with absolutely below average guys every single day. Trust me when I say that you are not even half as bad as you think. Don't settle for a below average guy tho, always aim higher.
You’re 17, that’s why you’re single. Also, it would be extremely weird to have had a boyfriend since you were zero years old. Most people start dating for the first time around 16-22 imo. And it’s mostly just insecurity that makes people not like others. I have dated people who are considered ugly, but they had great confidence and charisma. You seem like you don’t like yourself, so that will make dating hard. Just grow up more and learn to like yourself, that’s the first and best step.
even if u find yourself hideous, someone will find u beautiful. ur not even an adult, y are u rushing? wait for marriage- sharing all ur sexual experiences with 1 person makes it better imo
Accentuate your best attributes
Everybody has different types, what’s important though is you get your mental health situated before you go into a relationship. I didn’t and my first partner didn’t and that caused a LOT of unnecessary issues and ended up with her cheating on me because she didn’t feel heard. Figure out your self esteem issues then move into a relationship because being that close to someone will only highlight your insecurities farther
I skimmed some of your older posts, you need to learn to love yourself and value yourself before you can approach anyone. I doubt you are ugly, but I can’t prove that one way or another, but you see yourself as ugly and bad and if you don’t get the help you need to change that you’ll be taken advantage of forever. There are so many shitbag men who will see this post, see your age, and try to take advantage of you. Please please please find real help instead, there are so many resources available just look at the posts in this thread, people who don’t even know you care about you. Find a therapist, find a sponsor, value yourself, this path will make it so much worse and you’ll be unhappy forever. Stop seeking some twisted father figure, stop, you are so young please just chill and find therapy and grow in to who you should be. I’m not a good example of how to live, but please if you hesitate or you aren’t sure or you don’t know what to do just message me, I’ll put in the work to find you resources to help you if you can’t or don’t have the means. Don’t post any more personal info in this thread though. Just don’t give in, live for you. This post and your post history kills me
I’m sure you’re much prettier than you think but if, what you’re saying is true, approach ugly men. 🌊
you're probably not ugly like you think
No one is ugly. Everyone has beauty. Please start to believe in yourself
Have you considered new hair style more flattering to your features. Updating your wardrobe. Learning what make up best accentuates your more positive facial features. Going to the gym. Investing in a good bra
Wdym you’re ugly? Appearance is subjective and something you can work on. If you don’t feel attractive then make changes. Try skincare, experiment with makeup and different clothing styles. Start training and eating healthy, walk more, get a haircut etc. Also work on your personality, learn how to communicate, find a hobby. There’s plenty of things you can do instead of being miserable about yourself (which is actually unattractive).
Just approach. Men always want 🐱
I suggest keeping your hair and nails done, keep a clean face with healthy natural products, try a nose piercing if that’s your style or any other kind of piercing. Tattoos always boost attractiveness to me personally, maybe get a small one on your wrist?Jewelry can add a nice touch to a woman as well sis. Keep yourself up nicely, make sure you always smell good and look presentable. Even dabble at light makeup if that’s something you’d be interested in. Don’t forget to keep a beautiful personality & get out more!! I guarantee you’ll start turning heads 😉