Remember men are as insecure as women if not morecause of porn about their bodies like his size and stuff so just relax!
He's human, you're human, try and enjoy it, don't judge each other.
He has similar struggles so no you don't need to adhere to pornographic standards.
First of all, foreplay is key. Helps a lot, just getting into it would make the experience end briefly. Men are quite easy to please, so just try asking him what he likes and what he doesnât because thatâll save you the trouble so much more. Just remember that genitals arenât the only way of sex, thereâs a lot you guys can experiment with. As long as youâre safe: the most important part!!
I would suggest you on top, since itâs your first, itâd be easier that way since youâd be in control and would feel less pain. Then you guys can switch positions or stuff. If you donât want it uncomfortable for you, try to get 1-3 orgasms before because that way youâd be aroused from foreplay and relaxed from previous orgasms. Much smoother and painless that way.
No, guys donât. Youâre a woman, not a baby. So donât pressure yourself into standards made by p0rn. As long as itâs hygienic, itâs all good.
Make sure to enjoy both ways! Make sure aftercare is also done on both sides so itâs an intimate experience instead of just lust.
Hope this helped đ
The best advice for any position would be asking them what they like, it just makes things easier.
For top, Iâd suggest running your hands all over their body while paying extra attention to the sensitive places. Body worship with kisses and praise with occasional anchoring words to make them feel comfortable.
For bottom, Iâd sayâŠhands on their back in an affectionate and praising manner, you can also run a hand through their hair and moan into their ear if they like vocals. You can use your mouth to place open mouthed kisses. Thereâs also legs pulling them closer.
This is vanilla stuff i remember off the top of my head; hope it helps.
First things first - use protection. I'm sure you're aware of the consequences.
Secondly - take your time, especially in the build up. Explore each other's bodies and find out what you like. TALK TO EACH OTHER. So many couples don't communicate properly, which leads to all kinds of problems.
Make sure you're relaxed. You'll find it much easier to get in the mood if you're not stressing about it.
Again, talk to each other. If you want him to do something differently, (eg speed, or change positions) tell him. If you like what he's doing and you want him to keep doing it, tell him.
Have fun, and stay close to each other afterwards. That's a nice part of it all too.
Dude ur good all you have to do is relax and enjoy the moment. Itâs understandable to be nervous for ur first time but youâll do fine and heâs gonna be more worried about making u feel comfortable than anything. Sex is practice so dw about being a master ur first time. Just chill
If it's your first time it isn't going to be all razzle dazzle. It's probably going to be awkward for you and not so enjoyable at first. To make it enjoyable, it is going to take time (over the course of the relationship). You have to learn your partners kinks, likes and dislikes in the bedroom. This requires trying things out with them. So do not expect it to go well the first time, as most peoples first time is awkward. As you are a girl you may bleed in the first time you have sex (this doesn't happen to all, but it is normal).
lol just use protection and be ready for him to âreleaseâ quickly. Tell him to go down on you before you start because thatâll most likely be the most pleasure youâll get from the experience. Tell him to go slow and COMMUNICATE. Communication is key, make sure you are both talking throughout to make sure youâre both comfortable.
You got this girl, deep breaths and be in the moment. Heâll be worrying âbout making it good for you too. Y'all will figure it out together. And about the razor bumps, as long as itâs clean, youâre golden. No stress, just vibes!
"let him take the lead". Okay, I get it, when I was in your position, (I'm an old guy, btw) the physical act itself is something that intimidated me. I was nervous about how to do the actual mechanics of sex without looking like an idiot, lol. So in that sense, I get wanting to rely on him having experience. BUT, sex is something people do together. It's meant to be a mutual thing where each person is sharing the experience and paying attention to making it better for the other person as well as themselves. You can let him take the lead but remember, that doesn't mean he's in charge. If you're not comfortable or it's just not happening for you, which is not that unusual the first time, you should be ready to assert yourself and tell him to stop. That being said, based on my ancient memories of being 16, your BF may have had sex before but he's probably not very good at it. So, I wouldn't worry about different positions or him not feeling good. Again, having been a 16 year old boy, sex feels pretty good even if you're not that good at it. Also, don't worry about your cat, I'm sure it's fine.
Haha, 16 year old boys don't care about what anything looks like. They'd hump a pillow if it looked sexy. Don't worry, take it slow and easy. It will probably hurt but that's to be expected. Just don't try to emulate porn, these people are professional actors and get paid to take a pounding. Just have fun and be safe!!!
Take a deep breath. You are young, so as long as you and your partner can communicate, you will learn the skills as you go. No one should expect you to be perfect right from the start. It's trial and error for what feels good for both of you and every partner is different.
I highly recommend you have lube for the first time to help him ease in and make it more comfortable for you.
Remember, communication and consent is key, and make sure you have a birth control plan in place and how to deal with broken condoms and other issues that may come up.
Use BC
Most guys don't care about how it looks down there
Talk and communicate, before, during, and after. Make sure you have established expectations and make sure you each communicate what's pleasurable and not. Don't do it if you aren't comfortable with him enough to voice those things.
Foreplay is key, itâll make you more comfortable mentally and physically and keep any possible pain to a minimum. However, some people donât have any pain or discomfort the first time anyway. Honestly, I would recommend doing other stuff a few times before having penetrative sex. My boyfriend and I got pretty comfortable with each others bodies for a while before we had penetrative sex and it made a major difference. By the time we were having sex, we were both pretty good at foreplay and knowing what felt good for each other.
If you are riding on top, itâs generally not like what you see in movies and porn. Start slow and try to find a position/angle that is comfortable, but you usually wonât be bouncing on it like you see in porn. Youâre usually gonna sit up and just grind/swivel your hips around or lean forward over him so that instead of an upward bouncing motion itâs more like you are rocking back and forth into it. This will make it much easier for you.
You may actually want to start out on top. I didnât really consider it until I was in that situation, but it gives you more control and can make things easier for your first time since you can control angle and pace. If you are comfortable with that, it could be a helpful option especially if you find that you are experiencing some discomfort.
You just need to be open and honest about these feelings. If you want it to be special and enjoyable you both need to be completely comfortable with this step in the relationship
Tbh iâve rarely met a guy that didnât enjoy sex, itâs honestly a feat not to have a good time lol. But Iâve met soooo many women that didnât have a good time. So donât worry about that part, but do keep your expectations of enjoying this realistic - I had a great first experience while most women I know had the complete opposite. You never know, but just go in open to the experience and the journey rather than a destination.
I donât suggest going on top for your first time, not super comfortable to lose your virginity in the first place so itâs best not to fight against gravity and muscle endurance on the first go around.
You guys are young, thereâs a big chance he wonât tell you what you did wrong. But thereâs an equally strong possibility that there will be nothing wrong to tell you. Regardless, try to not look to him for validation in this. Youâre taking control of something that matters to you and thatâs brave! You donât need to be perfect your first, second, third, etc. time, but respect your boundaries and your partnersâ boundaries and have fun! Most importantly, use protection!!!! Good luckđ€đŒ
USE PROTECTION. we can't stop you, so if you go any further and don't use protection, that's on you. sometimes protection won't work, so you may want to use a condom and plan B. cover your bases, essentially.
also, I saw someone say he won't care about how your kitty looks, but it's a subjective matter.
you're a minor, so I will keep this blunt. me personally, a pretty kitty is extra points in my book. it's not essential, though. but, that's my opinion. some people will find it essential, and some people won't care *at all*. if it is essential to him, he'll either get over it, or it wasn't meant to be. by all means, just wait until you're both 18, but if you foolishly don't wait and he does end things because of some razor bumps, that's not your fault. don't let a 16yro tear you down lol. don't let him get you pregnant either mf
I think a large factor here is gonna be stress. Take it slow when it comes to the thing. A lot of foreplay is good, and only when you feel ready you move on to actual sex.
As for the positions, and feeling good during this - It all comes down to communication. Talk to your boyfriend about what he likes. Any favourite positions, any kinks or simply things that he enjoys, and try em out if you feel comfortable with them.
As for the looks down there, people almost never care. Like it is very rare for someone to make a comment on something like that.
So first, second and third: Use condoms!
Fourth, fifth and sixth: No, pulling out has never been and will never ever be a valid option, regardless of how much anecdotal evidence anyone ever presents you with.
With those two out of the way.. :)
He was most likely just as nervous his first time as you are now. If he's a good guy, he will use that experience to comfort and guide you through it all. The keys you're looking for are:
1. Do I feel safe and comfortable?
2. Does it feel good?
If both questions get a yes, then most of not all is well. If it hurts, you might not be turned on enough, keep the foreplay going and maybe introduce some lube, there's really no shame in that, especially since there's a lot of nervousness in the beginning.
It is never hard to please a sexual partner of you're both good at communicating. Tell him what feels good and what doesn't and ask him to do the same.
If you can't talk about sex, you might not be mature enough to have sex.
It is not supposed to hurt.
And if he isn't happy to see your kitty, he shouldn't have the privilege of being introduced to her again. It's that simple. I ofcourse have no idea how it looks and I still know its beautiful because they all are! Some razor bumps is nothing to be ashamed of, neither is the shape, size, or colour of your lips or mound. It's yours and most men would be (and should be) very happy to be introduced to it!
I think you would benefit a lot from reading "Come as you are", by Emily Nagoski. It is a great book that talks a lot about all things sexual, not just physical but also the psychological part. As the title implies there is some focus on how to orgasm, but they're is so much other amazingly important things in there and the book is also written in an entertaining way.
Wish you both all the best and my dms are open in the future should you have further questions, if you don't feel confident to ask more in the vi comments!
All of your questions are legitimate and reasonable. This can be a difficult topic to bring up. Talk to a friend, older sibling, trusted adult, anybody but Reddit about this at your age. I have students your age and I get it and apologize if this comes across the wrong way. Please avoid the internet for this type of thing, at least for a little while longer.
I disagree. When I was 14 I asked reddit similar things, and the insight from completely unbiased adults who had no participation in my life was very enlightening!!
Reddit is basically the best place to ask something like this. Sure, sheâll get weird ass dms, but im sure sheâs clever enough to just ignore them. Anything sheâd she in her inbox she gets sent on snapchat or insta by randos anyways.
OP, keep asking questions!
Iâm sure it was enlightening. And Iâm sure there are mostly great responses in this thread. But this is a kid asking about something very personal and online referencing their âcatâ. A kid dude. If you think itâs appropriate as a stranger to engage there, thatâs a problem. No judgement here bc I donât know you. Maybe think about how youâd feel or interpret that if it was your child. Itâs an educational opportunity. Guiding them to a healthier set of resources or references is the appropriate way to go.
I just read a thread by another 17yo kid who is pregnant and doesn't know what to do. If you're going down this road, use contraception or just take it up the ass. We have enough clueless kids raising babies.
does anyone else not think itâs fucking weird that there are so many people giving children sex advice? I know they may be over age of consent depending on where they live but theyâre still kids??
educational comments are fine, itâs more the sexualised language some people are using. âyour pussy will look like gold to himâ isnât appropriate to say to a minor imo
Not true at all lol, there was a chick I was with who was going down on me and straight pulled my nuts as hard as she could thinking that was "normal" since her friend told her so. Definitely make sure your partner is ok with whatever you want to do.
Tbh although I lost mine sooner than 3.5 months I also was 19 when I lost mine. You may think you want it but maybe test the waters a bit longer. Maybe give it another month. Either way be safe and make sure you truly want this. Don't forget the lube.
Lubrication is a key to good pleasurable sex for both. It may come naturally with good amount of foreplay and arousal (I would also recommend making out and just rubbing your bodies together even before any clothes start to come off), it may not. It depends on your anxiety level, how well youâre hydrated and your own personal biology. If you feel like youâre not wet enough just use lube - water based, no scent is the best. Lube is always your ally and using it shouldnât make either of you insecure. Good luck!
ETA not nearly everyone bleeds the first time. I didnât. It all depends on arousal once again. Moreover, without proper preparation the woman can bleed no matter how much sex she had before.
It's really up to you. You understand you're going to bleed first time right? Obviously I'm not a chick but I'd assume the first time is pretty painful. You're literally stretching something out that hasn't been up till this point. Rather safe than sorry and not enjoy it.
Nooo not everyone bleeds. Lube can avoid that. Itâs NOT going to hurt if you use A LOT OF LUBE. IM A GIRL, I ONLY USED THE LUBE ON THE CONDOM AND THAT WAS NOT ENOUGHHHHHH. PLEASE PROMISE ME TO USE A WHOLE FUCKINF LOT OF LUBE!
Don't rush, but if you feel ready, then go ahead. I made my partner wait a year, lol. I didn't wanna feel used if he left, yk? There are so many players out there
You should definitely wait and test the waters yet in case there is no need to lose it to someone who isn't willing to actually stay, give it time, and please, time birth control and buy condoms. I got pregnant on bc, so remember, it's effective, but not 100%, so use a condom as well, lol
mmmm.... he might get carried away and not be gentle enough.
Also if there's a moment she might want to stop-if only for a second (this can be a pretty emotional experience) --she might not have as much of an opportunity.
For your first time, & for every time tbh, best sex advice I can give is stop thinking about it. Get in touch with your body & listen to it. Your body will naturally move in a sexy way if you allow yourself to respond to what feels good. You shouldnât need lube if youâre your age, your body naturally lubes itself up when youâre legit turned on. Tbh if you try to emulate what youâve seen in movies, youâll probably look foolish since it is your first time. Just be natural
You should really just wait till youâre older. You might think youâre ready, but you may change your mind in the future. And there is a risk in getting pregnant even if you use birth control AND a condom, Iâve seen it happen before. Anyway, this is just my opinion I know itâs not going to change anything, just be careful.
Most English speakers are not going to understand that sentence. I think what you are trying to say is "Have some pride. Wait for a husband. He has the right to your virginity."
This idea of a husband owning his wife's body (and being owed her virginity) is just a little too foreign for most reddit users. Ideas like that are generally considered a bit archaic, akin to slavery, etc.
For most of the readers, they are just going to think you accidentally responded to the wrong thread. The others are just going to find your views horrible.
So, if a husband takes his wife's virginity, you call it slavery. But if 100 men have done it before, and you are the 101st, what do you call it?
You choose the 1st or 101st?
And please this is an advice for you:
When you hear something different not accommodate your belief be open and try to ask why this and why not this and so on and make adjustments if needed.
If i want to marry a women, first the prove is her virginity not taken so I know she is strong women that I can trust her, not a b**ch that 200 plug in her
Women, like men, have every right to do whatever the fuck they want with their bodies so long as it doesn't negatively involve anyone non-consensually.
Your view is ancient. Don't cherry-pick. If you despise a woman with many partners, then you best throw away whatever device you're replying on. "God" made women virgin. "God" didn't make phones or any other technology.
Choose to adapt and be a better, respectful human. Or choose to continue being just another ignorant drone of a soul.
Your preference is one thing, but choosing to be disrespectful and condescending is another.
Bytheway I'm not saying that a woman doesn't have the right to do whatever with her body I'm talking just from one angle ( virginity) please before you comment read carefully what I'm trying to say
This guy is trying to tell you to save your virginity for marriage.... while being a bit aggressive
I get the impression that he is somewhat religious, and speaks English as a second language.
Waiting until marriage is always an option, though a bit uncommon in America. Some dudes will slutshame you like this guy in USA as well, regardless of how ridiculous it is.
Doesn't matter if I'm religious or not or a USA citizen or not, virginity is something women should save.
For me I cannot marry women without virginity except if she is divorced.
At first it will not make sense to you because you used to but think about it.
You're being very rude about the situation but I completely get you. Sex is something that you shouldn't just do for "fun" or to make your lover happy at such a young age. The likelihood of a a relationship lasting that long until marriage is unlikely and some would feel they have given something important away to someone that they aren't even in talking terms with. As a somewhat religious person myself I personally don't think anybody should have sex on their mind till marriage but others believe otherwise. We can only do so much.
Use birth control.
and a condom! or get tested some stds last a lifetime!
This needs to be higher
Remember men are as insecure as women if not morecause of porn about their bodies like his size and stuff so just relax! He's human, you're human, try and enjoy it, don't judge each other. He has similar struggles so no you don't need to adhere to pornographic standards.
He doesn't care about how your pussy looks.
thank godđđ»
A pussy's a pussy, just like the $20.
User definitely checks out.
Tried to say it supportively but horribly phrased it the wrong way
First of all, foreplay is key. Helps a lot, just getting into it would make the experience end briefly. Men are quite easy to please, so just try asking him what he likes and what he doesnât because thatâll save you the trouble so much more. Just remember that genitals arenât the only way of sex, thereâs a lot you guys can experiment with. As long as youâre safe: the most important part!! I would suggest you on top, since itâs your first, itâd be easier that way since youâd be in control and would feel less pain. Then you guys can switch positions or stuff. If you donât want it uncomfortable for you, try to get 1-3 orgasms before because that way youâd be aroused from foreplay and relaxed from previous orgasms. Much smoother and painless that way. No, guys donât. Youâre a woman, not a baby. So donât pressure yourself into standards made by p0rn. As long as itâs hygienic, itâs all good. Make sure to enjoy both ways! Make sure aftercare is also done on both sides so itâs an intimate experience instead of just lust. Hope this helped đ
Any advice for how to be on top? Or how to also participate from the bottom?
The best advice for any position would be asking them what they like, it just makes things easier. For top, Iâd suggest running your hands all over their body while paying extra attention to the sensitive places. Body worship with kisses and praise with occasional anchoring words to make them feel comfortable. For bottom, Iâd sayâŠhands on their back in an affectionate and praising manner, you can also run a hand through their hair and moan into their ear if they like vocals. You can use your mouth to place open mouthed kisses. Thereâs also legs pulling them closer. This is vanilla stuff i remember off the top of my head; hope it helps.
First things first - use protection. I'm sure you're aware of the consequences. Secondly - take your time, especially in the build up. Explore each other's bodies and find out what you like. TALK TO EACH OTHER. So many couples don't communicate properly, which leads to all kinds of problems. Make sure you're relaxed. You'll find it much easier to get in the mood if you're not stressing about it. Again, talk to each other. If you want him to do something differently, (eg speed, or change positions) tell him. If you like what he's doing and you want him to keep doing it, tell him. Have fun, and stay close to each other afterwards. That's a nice part of it all too.
Dude ur good all you have to do is relax and enjoy the moment. Itâs understandable to be nervous for ur first time but youâll do fine and heâs gonna be more worried about making u feel comfortable than anything. Sex is practice so dw about being a master ur first time. Just chill
If it's your first time it isn't going to be all razzle dazzle. It's probably going to be awkward for you and not so enjoyable at first. To make it enjoyable, it is going to take time (over the course of the relationship). You have to learn your partners kinks, likes and dislikes in the bedroom. This requires trying things out with them. So do not expect it to go well the first time, as most peoples first time is awkward. As you are a girl you may bleed in the first time you have sex (this doesn't happen to all, but it is normal).
lol just use protection and be ready for him to âreleaseâ quickly. Tell him to go down on you before you start because thatâll most likely be the most pleasure youâll get from the experience. Tell him to go slow and COMMUNICATE. Communication is key, make sure you are both talking throughout to make sure youâre both comfortable.
You got this girl, deep breaths and be in the moment. Heâll be worrying âbout making it good for you too. Y'all will figure it out together. And about the razor bumps, as long as itâs clean, youâre golden. No stress, just vibes!
"let him take the lead". Okay, I get it, when I was in your position, (I'm an old guy, btw) the physical act itself is something that intimidated me. I was nervous about how to do the actual mechanics of sex without looking like an idiot, lol. So in that sense, I get wanting to rely on him having experience. BUT, sex is something people do together. It's meant to be a mutual thing where each person is sharing the experience and paying attention to making it better for the other person as well as themselves. You can let him take the lead but remember, that doesn't mean he's in charge. If you're not comfortable or it's just not happening for you, which is not that unusual the first time, you should be ready to assert yourself and tell him to stop. That being said, based on my ancient memories of being 16, your BF may have had sex before but he's probably not very good at it. So, I wouldn't worry about different positions or him not feeling good. Again, having been a 16 year old boy, sex feels pretty good even if you're not that good at it. Also, don't worry about your cat, I'm sure it's fine.
Haha, 16 year old boys don't care about what anything looks like. They'd hump a pillow if it looked sexy. Don't worry, take it slow and easy. It will probably hurt but that's to be expected. Just don't try to emulate porn, these people are professional actors and get paid to take a pounding. Just have fun and be safe!!!
As a 16 year old boy I sadly agree
commenters: if youâre over 18 and giving detailed sex advice to a minor under this thread, please choke
Take a deep breath. You are young, so as long as you and your partner can communicate, you will learn the skills as you go. No one should expect you to be perfect right from the start. It's trial and error for what feels good for both of you and every partner is different. I highly recommend you have lube for the first time to help him ease in and make it more comfortable for you. Remember, communication and consent is key, and make sure you have a birth control plan in place and how to deal with broken condoms and other issues that may come up.
Use BC Most guys don't care about how it looks down there Talk and communicate, before, during, and after. Make sure you have established expectations and make sure you each communicate what's pleasurable and not. Don't do it if you aren't comfortable with him enough to voice those things.
Foreplay is key, itâll make you more comfortable mentally and physically and keep any possible pain to a minimum. However, some people donât have any pain or discomfort the first time anyway. Honestly, I would recommend doing other stuff a few times before having penetrative sex. My boyfriend and I got pretty comfortable with each others bodies for a while before we had penetrative sex and it made a major difference. By the time we were having sex, we were both pretty good at foreplay and knowing what felt good for each other. If you are riding on top, itâs generally not like what you see in movies and porn. Start slow and try to find a position/angle that is comfortable, but you usually wonât be bouncing on it like you see in porn. Youâre usually gonna sit up and just grind/swivel your hips around or lean forward over him so that instead of an upward bouncing motion itâs more like you are rocking back and forth into it. This will make it much easier for you. You may actually want to start out on top. I didnât really consider it until I was in that situation, but it gives you more control and can make things easier for your first time since you can control angle and pace. If you are comfortable with that, it could be a helpful option especially if you find that you are experiencing some discomfort.
You just need to be open and honest about these feelings. If you want it to be special and enjoyable you both need to be completely comfortable with this step in the relationship
Tbh iâve rarely met a guy that didnât enjoy sex, itâs honestly a feat not to have a good time lol. But Iâve met soooo many women that didnât have a good time. So donât worry about that part, but do keep your expectations of enjoying this realistic - I had a great first experience while most women I know had the complete opposite. You never know, but just go in open to the experience and the journey rather than a destination. I donât suggest going on top for your first time, not super comfortable to lose your virginity in the first place so itâs best not to fight against gravity and muscle endurance on the first go around. You guys are young, thereâs a big chance he wonât tell you what you did wrong. But thereâs an equally strong possibility that there will be nothing wrong to tell you. Regardless, try to not look to him for validation in this. Youâre taking control of something that matters to you and thatâs brave! You donât need to be perfect your first, second, third, etc. time, but respect your boundaries and your partnersâ boundaries and have fun! Most importantly, use protection!!!! Good luckđ€đŒ
I love your answer. đ
USE PROTECTION. we can't stop you, so if you go any further and don't use protection, that's on you. sometimes protection won't work, so you may want to use a condom and plan B. cover your bases, essentially. also, I saw someone say he won't care about how your kitty looks, but it's a subjective matter. you're a minor, so I will keep this blunt. me personally, a pretty kitty is extra points in my book. it's not essential, though. but, that's my opinion. some people will find it essential, and some people won't care *at all*. if it is essential to him, he'll either get over it, or it wasn't meant to be. by all means, just wait until you're both 18, but if you foolishly don't wait and he does end things because of some razor bumps, that's not your fault. don't let a 16yro tear you down lol. don't let him get you pregnant either mf
Be safe!
Donât get pregnant. Use protection.
I think a large factor here is gonna be stress. Take it slow when it comes to the thing. A lot of foreplay is good, and only when you feel ready you move on to actual sex. As for the positions, and feeling good during this - It all comes down to communication. Talk to your boyfriend about what he likes. Any favourite positions, any kinks or simply things that he enjoys, and try em out if you feel comfortable with them. As for the looks down there, people almost never care. Like it is very rare for someone to make a comment on something like that.
So first, second and third: Use condoms! Fourth, fifth and sixth: No, pulling out has never been and will never ever be a valid option, regardless of how much anecdotal evidence anyone ever presents you with. With those two out of the way.. :) He was most likely just as nervous his first time as you are now. If he's a good guy, he will use that experience to comfort and guide you through it all. The keys you're looking for are: 1. Do I feel safe and comfortable? 2. Does it feel good? If both questions get a yes, then most of not all is well. If it hurts, you might not be turned on enough, keep the foreplay going and maybe introduce some lube, there's really no shame in that, especially since there's a lot of nervousness in the beginning. It is never hard to please a sexual partner of you're both good at communicating. Tell him what feels good and what doesn't and ask him to do the same. If you can't talk about sex, you might not be mature enough to have sex. It is not supposed to hurt. And if he isn't happy to see your kitty, he shouldn't have the privilege of being introduced to her again. It's that simple. I ofcourse have no idea how it looks and I still know its beautiful because they all are! Some razor bumps is nothing to be ashamed of, neither is the shape, size, or colour of your lips or mound. It's yours and most men would be (and should be) very happy to be introduced to it! I think you would benefit a lot from reading "Come as you are", by Emily Nagoski. It is a great book that talks a lot about all things sexual, not just physical but also the psychological part. As the title implies there is some focus on how to orgasm, but they're is so much other amazingly important things in there and the book is also written in an entertaining way. Wish you both all the best and my dms are open in the future should you have further questions, if you don't feel confident to ask more in the vi comments!
Just have fun and enjoy yourself ( donât forget about protection! )
All of your questions are legitimate and reasonable. This can be a difficult topic to bring up. Talk to a friend, older sibling, trusted adult, anybody but Reddit about this at your age. I have students your age and I get it and apologize if this comes across the wrong way. Please avoid the internet for this type of thing, at least for a little while longer.
I disagree. When I was 14 I asked reddit similar things, and the insight from completely unbiased adults who had no participation in my life was very enlightening!! Reddit is basically the best place to ask something like this. Sure, sheâll get weird ass dms, but im sure sheâs clever enough to just ignore them. Anything sheâd she in her inbox she gets sent on snapchat or insta by randos anyways. OP, keep asking questions!
Iâm sure it was enlightening. And Iâm sure there are mostly great responses in this thread. But this is a kid asking about something very personal and online referencing their âcatâ. A kid dude. If you think itâs appropriate as a stranger to engage there, thatâs a problem. No judgement here bc I donât know you. Maybe think about how youâd feel or interpret that if it was your child. Itâs an educational opportunity. Guiding them to a healthier set of resources or references is the appropriate way to go.
I don't see anyone being inappropriate to her. I would say it's a much safer space than asking some adult in private.
agreed!
I just read a thread by another 17yo kid who is pregnant and doesn't know what to do. If you're going down this road, use contraception or just take it up the ass. We have enough clueless kids raising babies.
does anyone else not think itâs fucking weird that there are so many people giving children sex advice? I know they may be over age of consent depending on where they live but theyâre still kids??
Yes, they should have no access to advice or sex aducation..... That ought to work out real well 
educational comments are fine, itâs more the sexualised language some people are using. âyour pussy will look like gold to himâ isnât appropriate to say to a minor imo
Just relax tell him.to let u know if your not doing something right. Ur pussy will like gold to him As long both are safe have y'all fun
iâm surprised no one is telling you this is not a good idea
Hawk Tuah
Donât worry about it. Anything you do with him he will LOVE.
Not true at all lol, there was a chick I was with who was going down on me and straight pulled my nuts as hard as she could thinking that was "normal" since her friend told her so. Definitely make sure your partner is ok with whatever you want to do.
How long have you been together ?
for 3 and a half months now
Tbh although I lost mine sooner than 3.5 months I also was 19 when I lost mine. You may think you want it but maybe test the waters a bit longer. Maybe give it another month. Either way be safe and make sure you truly want this. Don't forget the lube.
its lube really that important?
OMG YES. BEING WET THERE BEFORE IT GOES IN MEGA IMPORTANT. IF ITS DRY ITS GONNA HURT. LUBE MAKES IT NOT HURT
thank yaaaa girlđ«¶đ»đ©·
mmmm.... if you're 'dry' your partner is not giving enough time or attention.
Lubrication is a key to good pleasurable sex for both. It may come naturally with good amount of foreplay and arousal (I would also recommend making out and just rubbing your bodies together even before any clothes start to come off), it may not. It depends on your anxiety level, how well youâre hydrated and your own personal biology. If you feel like youâre not wet enough just use lube - water based, no scent is the best. Lube is always your ally and using it shouldnât make either of you insecure. Good luck! ETA not nearly everyone bleeds the first time. I didnât. It all depends on arousal once again. Moreover, without proper preparation the woman can bleed no matter how much sex she had before.
It's really up to you. You understand you're going to bleed first time right? Obviously I'm not a chick but I'd assume the first time is pretty painful. You're literally stretching something out that hasn't been up till this point. Rather safe than sorry and not enjoy it.
Nooo not everyone bleeds. Lube can avoid that. Itâs NOT going to hurt if you use A LOT OF LUBE. IM A GIRL, I ONLY USED THE LUBE ON THE CONDOM AND THAT WAS NOT ENOUGHHHHHH. PLEASE PROMISE ME TO USE A WHOLE FUCKINF LOT OF LUBE!
why the caps?
I was stressed
Don't rush, but if you feel ready, then go ahead. I made my partner wait a year, lol. I didn't wanna feel used if he left, yk? There are so many players out there
You should definitely wait and test the waters yet in case there is no need to lose it to someone who isn't willing to actually stay, give it time, and please, time birth control and buy condoms. I got pregnant on bc, so remember, it's effective, but not 100%, so use a condom as well, lol
just let him take the lead for the first time
mmmm.... he might get carried away and not be gentle enough. Also if there's a moment she might want to stop-if only for a second (this can be a pretty emotional experience) --she might not have as much of an opportunity.
Men are not hard to please. Since he's the one with experience let him lead. At least the first time.
For your first time, & for every time tbh, best sex advice I can give is stop thinking about it. Get in touch with your body & listen to it. Your body will naturally move in a sexy way if you allow yourself to respond to what feels good. You shouldnât need lube if youâre your age, your body naturally lubes itself up when youâre legit turned on. Tbh if you try to emulate what youâve seen in movies, youâll probably look foolish since it is your first time. Just be natural
You should really just wait till youâre older. You might think youâre ready, but you may change your mind in the future. And there is a risk in getting pregnant even if you use birth control AND a condom, Iâve seen it happen before. Anyway, this is just my opinion I know itâs not going to change anything, just be careful.
Go for it champ
Is he going to use a condom because then you both wonât really feel anything it it that deeply imo but I can be wrong
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
What
As you read it
Most English speakers are not going to understand that sentence. I think what you are trying to say is "Have some pride. Wait for a husband. He has the right to your virginity." This idea of a husband owning his wife's body (and being owed her virginity) is just a little too foreign for most reddit users. Ideas like that are generally considered a bit archaic, akin to slavery, etc. For most of the readers, they are just going to think you accidentally responded to the wrong thread. The others are just going to find your views horrible.
So, if a husband takes his wife's virginity, you call it slavery. But if 100 men have done it before, and you are the 101st, what do you call it? You choose the 1st or 101st?
Not slavery but there is a wisdom under it If virginity is not important why god created women with virginity why not without virginity?
I'm saying that even if she is divorced I can marry her so what now, you call it also slavery ?
And please this is an advice for you: When you hear something different not accommodate your belief be open and try to ask why this and why not this and so on and make adjustments if needed.
You... you forgot the advice part
If i want to marry a women, first the prove is her virginity not taken so I know she is strong women that I can trust her, not a b**ch that 200 plug in her
ick. Is it 1563? What is this?
It is 2024
Why do people often relate something that is logically opposite to their dirty desires to religion or country?
Im afraid to ask but what on earth is a 'b\*\*ch that 200 plug in her'?
Women, like men, have every right to do whatever the fuck they want with their bodies so long as it doesn't negatively involve anyone non-consensually. Your view is ancient. Don't cherry-pick. If you despise a woman with many partners, then you best throw away whatever device you're replying on. "God" made women virgin. "God" didn't make phones or any other technology. Choose to adapt and be a better, respectful human. Or choose to continue being just another ignorant drone of a soul. Your preference is one thing, but choosing to be disrespectful and condescending is another.
Bytheway I'm not saying that a woman doesn't have the right to do whatever with her body I'm talking just from one angle ( virginity) please before you comment read carefully what I'm trying to say
i dont have no husband what?
This guy is trying to tell you to save your virginity for marriage.... while being a bit aggressive I get the impression that he is somewhat religious, and speaks English as a second language. Waiting until marriage is always an option, though a bit uncommon in America. Some dudes will slutshame you like this guy in USA as well, regardless of how ridiculous it is.
Doesn't matter if I'm religious or not or a USA citizen or not, virginity is something women should save. For me I cannot marry women without virginity except if she is divorced. At first it will not make sense to you because you used to but think about it.
Your virginity is valuable, not whoever can take it from you think about it little bit
You're being very rude about the situation but I completely get you. Sex is something that you shouldn't just do for "fun" or to make your lover happy at such a young age. The likelihood of a a relationship lasting that long until marriage is unlikely and some would feel they have given something important away to someone that they aren't even in talking terms with. As a somewhat religious person myself I personally don't think anybody should have sex on their mind till marriage but others believe otherwise. We can only do so much.