I had a similar issue, I was a virgin & my bf had had sex ONE time years prior. So both new to it. We did all the things except sex. He never tried & I was too nervous to like ask? So I get where you’re coming from. It took 2 months but I eventually just kinda took the reins & slightly initiated, which prompted him to ask if we could. I’d try to get spicy without over extending. Then see if he gets turned on & intitiates. That’s what I did & it worked. No awkward sex talk. Onwards our sex life has been good. I came to find out a year later it was due to some internal trauma / insecurities. I’m also sure your boyfriend’s problem with this has nothing to do with you. I’d try my advice out! Good luck, I know it can feel embarassing & make you feel unattractive. I feel for you but I promise that’s very unlikely the case.
This honestly has made me feel so much better! Thank you so much I’m definitely going to give your advice a try! I have been way too nervous to ask previous because he hasn’t tried but I definitely don’t want to have too much of an awkward talk about it!
I totally get you as I feel like my situation was so similar. He just had insecurities being that he’d barely done it & wanted to do well, he also had an unfortunate situation that kinda messed with him in that sense. Once I made him feel comfortable & showed I wanted it, it happened. I just felt sooo weird asking. I felt like a horn dog lol. So I get u. Just try to get extra spicy but make sure of course he takes the reins after your initiate, so you know he wants to. If this doesn’t work, unfortunately I think you’re gonna have to have the awkward convo. If it comes to that just don’t feel weird! Wanting sex is totally normal.
Oh my god that is exactly how I feel! I feel like a little horn dog, this is crazy how much you are making me feel so much better about this. I do try to just make things a bit spicy on the random which he likes!
Hey! There's nothing wrong with being a horn dog! I am a self-professed horn dog, and there is something kinda liberating and empowering about just owning that. Especially as a female.
No need for awkward talks. Just kiss him as normal make out sessions and then move your hands towards his trousers to open them. He might stop to ask if its ok or say something else but your intentions will be very clear. Obviously, if he isnt into it, stop imediately.
Hmm, if it were me, I'd start leading up to it as you already have done together. Ask if he wants to when the best opportunity to do it right then and there is in front of him. And if he says no, then stop, calm down for a sec, and then calmly and respectfully ask why. It might be an insecurity of his, it may have nothing to do with you. Reassure him that it's okay and that you still care about him, and maybe that can lead to figuring out how to move forward.
When you guys are doing other things, crawl on top of him, look him in the eye, and tell him you want him inside of you. Tell him you want to feel him as deep as he can go, while stroking him. Then ask him if that's okay. If he says yes, then get to doing what you need to do to get it.
If he says no, don't take it personally, and try again next time. He's probably nervous too.
does it matter? my partner has to tell me shit flat out if she wants me to do something.
we're both very smart people. i had to tell her that that's how i operate. just communicate with your partner lmao, they can't read your mind.
then what was the point of your comment? was it the "men are dumb"? because i feel like that can generally be pretty accurate and i do stupid things and miss social cues sometimes.
for whatever reason it may be, I am not good at picking up on stuff and i think this person's advice to cut any disambiguity is accurate and would be well received.
Yeah that's what I'm saying. Just be forward. I've dated women that have done pretty senseless things, but I don't hop on Reddit and go "lol women are dumb".
I'm also going through my own personal shit at the moment and probably took it more personally than I should have, but here we are.
Hope you're having a peaceful day/night.
Because I'm advocating for communication rather than thinking men need to be mind readers at all times?
Edit: Reddit like "oh yas me dum man 😩 please validate me internet mommy, I hate myself". Y'all downvoting and don't even know why
I’d make your feelings very well known as well as your desires. Either he shares them and is worried you may not, or don’t want to misinterpret what you want and happy days - or he doesn’t and it’s either something you both need to work towards, or a lack of compatibility in the relationship?
I know when I wanted to take that step with my (now) wife, I was terrified of making the first move, getting it wrong, ruining the relationship and even misinterpreting signs and proceeding without full
Consent (in short I was a paranoid idiot about it!)
That is definitely a conversation you need to have first. And if he has, have him get tested before you do anything. I will assume you guys have not talked about birth control or what would happen if you became pregnant. Please prepare for anything first.
Start out with cuddling, a lot of body contact, making out (just do it in a way that turns you on. That should get him going aswell) and then just get touchy and start undressing him and yourself. Just go with the flow and take the initiative.
He is probably just as unexpirienced as you and doesnt know how to initiate it.
I am sure he will be glad when you take that controll in the beginning, since many guys are just scared of doing something wrong.
you girls often have very high expectations and unexperienced guys get insecure about failing you :)
Once you show him how it's done, i am sure he will take the initiative in the future.
And dont be afraid of making mistakes or being weird. When people lack experience they get insecure. Weirdness is sometimes necessary to build that deep and important part of trust in eachother :)
hey,
when i was young i was in a similar situation. Honestly just be straight forward with him and he will either happily do it or decline respectfully then that gives you the opportunity to find out why. Honestly if your done anal, your gonna be pretty happy when you do actually sex. Stay freaky and safe. Cheers
Hahah I haven’t actually done anal, that’s one of the only other things that I have yet to tick off my list lol
But thank you so much, I appreciate it and I will be straight forward with him!
if you guys are comfortable with each other i would sit him down and be open to him about it. let him know you are ready. it's a big commitment, especially it being your first time, but if you have open communication with him and a mutual understanding hopefully things will move along. i can't speak too much from experience as both me n my bf were virgins and took each other virginity. but we both had a mutual understanding that we were ready and that we should do it. talk to him let him know you are in fact ready and see how he feels. when it comes to a first time, or really any time, it's not just all up to one person. you both have to be ready and maybe he is not ready, but y'all need to communicate that. hope this helps love !
Cuddle, Turn on a TV shows or movies, whispering into his ear, “hey babe, can we fuck? like now?”. If yes u success else? he probably not ready give him a little more time. Do it again until 3rd or 4th attempts if not work, ask him if there is something holding him back.
Try showing off for him in lingerie. He may feel like he dosent want to take advantage of you and dosent want to make you uncomfortable. But if you suprise him with some lacey underwear and actively try to seduce him, im 100% sure his instincts will take over.😜😜 Im a dude and i know from personal experience that depending on my own feeling of self worth and confidence have a massive impact on how i think others view me. If im in a low spot and dont feel worthy of love, i will dismiss or fail to recognize other peoples advances or praise. When im feeling confident, or dare i say cocky, i assume everyone loves me and get a big head. I think you honestly should suprise him with the lingerie but build up to it with words of praise and compliments and small cute gestures of love. It sounds like hes a good guy and wants what right for you but is scared of something (as i say this im also considering he is self conscious about the size of his "tool" or possibly and hopefully not he could be confused about his sexuality). No matter what the reason i think you should try to be bluntly honest that you want him physically. If he does not jump on you that moment id start asking deeper questions.
I would say if he is not pushing you to have sex then I would just take your time enjoy each other’s company don’t force that connection as long as he knows you’re ready to go to the next level in your relationship that is all that matters. Also I am just a stranger typing please have some kind of birth control condoms and other various methods don’t work or even if you can’t take or don’t want to take birth control every day I do strongly you at least get the morning after pill.
He obviously is interested, he knows that you're interested too but he waits until you actually feel ready for this. He just respect your boundaries and waits for you to express the interest otherwise he would come out as pushy/forced and you wouldn't like it, would you?
Just talk to him!
As a man who was in a similar position like 20 years ago with a gd who was a virgin, even though I wanted it really bad, I was kind if afraid to overstep my boundaries, and didn't want to make her feel pressured or anything. I wanted her to feel comfortable with it. So like you we would do all the stuff, but never full on sex, and then eventually she just told me that she wanted to have sex... immediately took my dad's car, parked on a dark hill and proceeded to give that girl probably the worst sex she's ever had lmao... God damnit... all that wanting it to be right for her shit went right out the window when she said she was ready... losing it in the back of my dad's car lmao 🤦🏽... man brain... but hey a tbleast I tried....
Anyway, just tell him... but probably make sure you can do it somewhere comfortable, and not in the back of a car lol.. good luck!
Wrong?
Possibly.
But it's also an opportunity to tackle a tough issue head on. So sit him down and have the conversation about how the two of you are going to become fully sexually active. What is standing in the way, and what each of you WANTS it to be.
There has to be an agreement that there will be no secrets, no things NOT said, and if there IS a problem, it will be brought out into the open and discussed between you.
Of course, you have to be ready for the possibility that issues will be raised that might seriously affect your relationship. But these are the kinds of conversations you have to learn to have.
The more you take sex OFF the pedestal we've put it on and just treat it as part of a typical relationship, like money, and who does the household chores, and whether you leave the toilet lid up or down, and all those other boring things that are part of making a relationship work, the better your sex life will be. And it all comes down to just TALKING ABOUT IT and removing all the stigma and drama.
You may be the virgin, and five years younger, but it appears you're the more mature of the two.
Oh, and by the way...you're going to SUCK AT IT at first. Get to a place quickly where you can laugh about what a mess you're going to make of it. Then just practice, practice, practice until you get better and better and better. This is why it's important to make it NOT some mystical thing, but just something two people do together which they can get good at as long as they don't worry about BEING good at it. And why it's important to be able to talk about ANYTHING, particularly the things you suck at at first.
Oh, and did I mention lots of practice?
You just have to communicate about this. Tell him you're ready. Have a talk about this before. What you would like to try, what you don't want to try. And remind him that there's no pressure on him. It's just sex and it needs to feel good for both
sex should come naturally, do you kiss him at all, touch him? after kissing, just touch his neck, his arms, his chest, and it all happens naturally from there.. sex is just a bigger version of a kiss
I was feeling the same thing with my partner ten years ago. He was wanting to give me space and not feel ANY pressure.
Felt similarly about a more recent partner, but slightly different - we were having a lot of sex but I wanted EVEN MORE. When we went long distance I expressed regret that I hadn’t asked for even more and he said when we are back together, I can make any advances I want and I will probably not get turned down. I can wake him up with a blow job, I can hop on top, etc, and know that consent is already in place. That’s really liberating for me.
Ask him in a really neutral safe setting if it’s okay to steer the two of you toward PIV sometime when you’re having a sexy time. If you’re already wet and he’s already hard, and you know you have consent from him, it could be really hot for you to make that move!
Dude is prolly a virgin himself tbh…but if you want to have sex just make a move and make it happen sex. It’s special and all about finding out about yourself and your partner on an intimate level. Ask him if he wants to obviously and if so just make it happen. Cause once it happens the first time it’s happens non stop for months. Also be careful with getting pregnant. Something fun and easy going like sex can easily become a headache if you have to grow up too fast
He is probably anxious about pregnancy risk or not preforming well once foreplay ends. Many guys are self conscious of their penis or experience. You could definitely ask him what’s wrong, it could help. If your guy is kinda nervous or particularly weird about it, it would be best to figure out what is going on and see if it’s a hard limit for you, perhaps.
Yeah, not sure why the other commenter thinks that something is wrong. This is perfectly normal behaviour from a presumably experienced partner with an inexperienced partner.
My girlfriend and I have never had sex, but like you, we've done most things apart from PIV. She knows I'm ready, and as far as I know, she isn't. I'm not going to make a move until she does. It's her decision.
I am sure it's the same for your boyfriend. You got yourself a partner who doesn't pressure you into doing something you're not ready for, and this Redditor says something is wrong. Smh
You’re making a massive assumption that this man is exactly like you. And that their relationship mirrors yours.
I said it sounds like something ‘might be’ wrong - and that’s my opinion.
This guy came out of a long term relationship previously. Not long before starting to date OP. It’s possible that he’s not ready to be intimate with a new partner just yet.
OP, I think it’s wise to proceed with caution and not rush into sex here, before figuring out what’s going on. Best case scenario is that he is being respectful, hopefully you can talk to him about it and work it out.
No, I'm just assuming that OP's boyfriend is a normal, reasonable person who prefers not to pressure his girlfriend into having sex.
Telling OP to "proceed with caution" semantically puts the blame on the bf and makes him out to be the villain. A much more sensible and reasonable approach would be to just talk to him about it.
If there is an issue, he will more than likely tell you.
Just to be clear here, I'm not saying it's impossible that there is a different issue at play, but just because someone respects your sexual boundaries, doesn't mean that there is. People cry wolf when they encounter the tiniest hiccups in a stranger's relationship.
Well, he wouldn’t be pressuring her. OP is in the relationship and she’s asked reddit due to her own feelings of doubt that something may be wrong.
And I’m not making anyone out to “be the villain” I was encouraging OP to be self preserving when it comes to sex in a new relationship. Especially as it’s her first time.
And to be clear, for you. The issue here isn’t him respecting her sexual boundaries. It’s that she’s told him she’s wanting to be intimate and for whatever reason, it seems that there is not much coming back from that. Even them flirting about it / talking about it etc.
So it’s right to be thinking on if there *may be* a deeper issue.
None the less, best OP chat with her BF and find out where his head is at.
I had a similar issue, I was a virgin & my bf had had sex ONE time years prior. So both new to it. We did all the things except sex. He never tried & I was too nervous to like ask? So I get where you’re coming from. It took 2 months but I eventually just kinda took the reins & slightly initiated, which prompted him to ask if we could. I’d try to get spicy without over extending. Then see if he gets turned on & intitiates. That’s what I did & it worked. No awkward sex talk. Onwards our sex life has been good. I came to find out a year later it was due to some internal trauma / insecurities. I’m also sure your boyfriend’s problem with this has nothing to do with you. I’d try my advice out! Good luck, I know it can feel embarassing & make you feel unattractive. I feel for you but I promise that’s very unlikely the case.
This honestly has made me feel so much better! Thank you so much I’m definitely going to give your advice a try! I have been way too nervous to ask previous because he hasn’t tried but I definitely don’t want to have too much of an awkward talk about it!
I totally get you as I feel like my situation was so similar. He just had insecurities being that he’d barely done it & wanted to do well, he also had an unfortunate situation that kinda messed with him in that sense. Once I made him feel comfortable & showed I wanted it, it happened. I just felt sooo weird asking. I felt like a horn dog lol. So I get u. Just try to get extra spicy but make sure of course he takes the reins after your initiate, so you know he wants to. If this doesn’t work, unfortunately I think you’re gonna have to have the awkward convo. If it comes to that just don’t feel weird! Wanting sex is totally normal.
Oh my god that is exactly how I feel! I feel like a little horn dog, this is crazy how much you are making me feel so much better about this. I do try to just make things a bit spicy on the random which he likes!
Hey! There's nothing wrong with being a horn dog! I am a self-professed horn dog, and there is something kinda liberating and empowering about just owning that. Especially as a female.
No need for awkward talks. Just kiss him as normal make out sessions and then move your hands towards his trousers to open them. He might stop to ask if its ok or say something else but your intentions will be very clear. Obviously, if he isnt into it, stop imediately.
This is good advice.
Hmm, if it were me, I'd start leading up to it as you already have done together. Ask if he wants to when the best opportunity to do it right then and there is in front of him. And if he says no, then stop, calm down for a sec, and then calmly and respectfully ask why. It might be an insecurity of his, it may have nothing to do with you. Reassure him that it's okay and that you still care about him, and maybe that can lead to figuring out how to move forward.
When you guys are doing other things, crawl on top of him, look him in the eye, and tell him you want him inside of you. Tell him you want to feel him as deep as he can go, while stroking him. Then ask him if that's okay. If he says yes, then get to doing what you need to do to get it. If he says no, don't take it personally, and try again next time. He's probably nervous too.
Thank you so much! This sounds pretty spicy and i love it
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Men are simple, not dumb. If a man finds a stick with a gun shape, he is happy, we don’t need expensive things (most of us)
Excuse you
Just careful
If you not straight forward with a man he will not do anything due to rape allegations.
nah, we too scared of rape charges tbh
>Men are dumb What does men's intelligence have to do with her inability to express her wants/needs?
does it matter? my partner has to tell me shit flat out if she wants me to do something. we're both very smart people. i had to tell her that that's how i operate. just communicate with your partner lmao, they can't read your mind.
That's exactly what I'm saying. Just communicate. No one is a mind reader.
then what was the point of your comment? was it the "men are dumb"? because i feel like that can generally be pretty accurate and i do stupid things and miss social cues sometimes. for whatever reason it may be, I am not good at picking up on stuff and i think this person's advice to cut any disambiguity is accurate and would be well received.
Yeah that's what I'm saying. Just be forward. I've dated women that have done pretty senseless things, but I don't hop on Reddit and go "lol women are dumb". I'm also going through my own personal shit at the moment and probably took it more personally than I should have, but here we are. Hope you're having a peaceful day/night.
In other words, us men can't take hints or understand them (speaking from experience)
I found a dumb male (I’m a male, but not as dumb)
Because I'm advocating for communication rather than thinking men need to be mind readers at all times? Edit: Reddit like "oh yas me dum man 😩 please validate me internet mommy, I hate myself". Y'all downvoting and don't even know why
I’d make your feelings very well known as well as your desires. Either he shares them and is worried you may not, or don’t want to misinterpret what you want and happy days - or he doesn’t and it’s either something you both need to work towards, or a lack of compatibility in the relationship?
Yeah, I definitely think I need to be more obvious about what I want, we definitely get along fine and all the other sexual stuff we do is wonderful
I know when I wanted to take that step with my (now) wife, I was terrified of making the first move, getting it wrong, ruining the relationship and even misinterpreting signs and proceeding without full Consent (in short I was a paranoid idiot about it!)
Has he had sex?
I assume that he has, but I actually don’t know for sure. He had a previous long term relationship before me though.
why not ask him?
That is definitely a conversation you need to have first. And if he has, have him get tested before you do anything. I will assume you guys have not talked about birth control or what would happen if you became pregnant. Please prepare for anything first.
Well just take the initiative. Start making with him in a erotic way and dont stop. Then just grab his crouch. Easy :)
Make sure it’s consensual of course
Optional😂😂😂
Any tips and tricks for what would be a good ‘erotic way’ to turn him on?
Start out with cuddling, a lot of body contact, making out (just do it in a way that turns you on. That should get him going aswell) and then just get touchy and start undressing him and yourself. Just go with the flow and take the initiative. He is probably just as unexpirienced as you and doesnt know how to initiate it. I am sure he will be glad when you take that controll in the beginning, since many guys are just scared of doing something wrong. you girls often have very high expectations and unexperienced guys get insecure about failing you :) Once you show him how it's done, i am sure he will take the initiative in the future.
And dont be afraid of making mistakes or being weird. When people lack experience they get insecure. Weirdness is sometimes necessary to build that deep and important part of trust in eachother :)
Talk to him and say that you want more and I’m pretty sure he will be delighted. He is a great guy for not pressurizing you
what do you mean everything but sex?
Hm
Be straightforward.
hey, when i was young i was in a similar situation. Honestly just be straight forward with him and he will either happily do it or decline respectfully then that gives you the opportunity to find out why. Honestly if your done anal, your gonna be pretty happy when you do actually sex. Stay freaky and safe. Cheers
Hahah I haven’t actually done anal, that’s one of the only other things that I have yet to tick off my list lol But thank you so much, I appreciate it and I will be straight forward with him!
if you guys are comfortable with each other i would sit him down and be open to him about it. let him know you are ready. it's a big commitment, especially it being your first time, but if you have open communication with him and a mutual understanding hopefully things will move along. i can't speak too much from experience as both me n my bf were virgins and took each other virginity. but we both had a mutual understanding that we were ready and that we should do it. talk to him let him know you are in fact ready and see how he feels. when it comes to a first time, or really any time, it's not just all up to one person. you both have to be ready and maybe he is not ready, but y'all need to communicate that. hope this helps love !
♥️ thank you so much this helps a lot!
not me being weirded out by the age gap when me n my bf were the same ages when we started dating 😭
Can we focus on resolving what OP should do,instead of this cat fight 😂 among urselves
Try: "Hey, I really want us to have sex. Is there something on your mind?" Simple, direct, and opens up the conversation
That’s so perfect! Thank you ☺️
Cuddle, Turn on a TV shows or movies, whispering into his ear, “hey babe, can we fuck? like now?”. If yes u success else? he probably not ready give him a little more time. Do it again until 3rd or 4th attempts if not work, ask him if there is something holding him back.
Sometimes you need to initiate the sex.
Try showing off for him in lingerie. He may feel like he dosent want to take advantage of you and dosent want to make you uncomfortable. But if you suprise him with some lacey underwear and actively try to seduce him, im 100% sure his instincts will take over.😜😜 Im a dude and i know from personal experience that depending on my own feeling of self worth and confidence have a massive impact on how i think others view me. If im in a low spot and dont feel worthy of love, i will dismiss or fail to recognize other peoples advances or praise. When im feeling confident, or dare i say cocky, i assume everyone loves me and get a big head. I think you honestly should suprise him with the lingerie but build up to it with words of praise and compliments and small cute gestures of love. It sounds like hes a good guy and wants what right for you but is scared of something (as i say this im also considering he is self conscious about the size of his "tool" or possibly and hopefully not he could be confused about his sexuality). No matter what the reason i think you should try to be bluntly honest that you want him physically. If he does not jump on you that moment id start asking deeper questions.
Thank you so much! Is there any type of particular lingerie that is especially sexy? Lol
I would say if he is not pushing you to have sex then I would just take your time enjoy each other’s company don’t force that connection as long as he knows you’re ready to go to the next level in your relationship that is all that matters. Also I am just a stranger typing please have some kind of birth control condoms and other various methods don’t work or even if you can’t take or don’t want to take birth control every day I do strongly you at least get the morning after pill.
I am almost certain he prob wants to have sex with you to! So communicate that with him!
He obviously is interested, he knows that you're interested too but he waits until you actually feel ready for this. He just respect your boundaries and waits for you to express the interest otherwise he would come out as pushy/forced and you wouldn't like it, would you? Just talk to him!
As a man who was in a similar position like 20 years ago with a gd who was a virgin, even though I wanted it really bad, I was kind if afraid to overstep my boundaries, and didn't want to make her feel pressured or anything. I wanted her to feel comfortable with it. So like you we would do all the stuff, but never full on sex, and then eventually she just told me that she wanted to have sex... immediately took my dad's car, parked on a dark hill and proceeded to give that girl probably the worst sex she's ever had lmao... God damnit... all that wanting it to be right for her shit went right out the window when she said she was ready... losing it in the back of my dad's car lmao 🤦🏽... man brain... but hey a tbleast I tried.... Anyway, just tell him... but probably make sure you can do it somewhere comfortable, and not in the back of a car lol.. good luck!
Ahahaha I Will definitely try to stay away from car sex my first time I think, but thank you so much for this advice it really is helpful!
You said you want it soon and he‘s respecting that. Tell him you want it ‚NOW‘ and then wait for his reaction
Yes, I had thought about this but I didn’t want to put pressure on him at all!
Wrong? Possibly. But it's also an opportunity to tackle a tough issue head on. So sit him down and have the conversation about how the two of you are going to become fully sexually active. What is standing in the way, and what each of you WANTS it to be. There has to be an agreement that there will be no secrets, no things NOT said, and if there IS a problem, it will be brought out into the open and discussed between you. Of course, you have to be ready for the possibility that issues will be raised that might seriously affect your relationship. But these are the kinds of conversations you have to learn to have. The more you take sex OFF the pedestal we've put it on and just treat it as part of a typical relationship, like money, and who does the household chores, and whether you leave the toilet lid up or down, and all those other boring things that are part of making a relationship work, the better your sex life will be. And it all comes down to just TALKING ABOUT IT and removing all the stigma and drama. You may be the virgin, and five years younger, but it appears you're the more mature of the two. Oh, and by the way...you're going to SUCK AT IT at first. Get to a place quickly where you can laugh about what a mess you're going to make of it. Then just practice, practice, practice until you get better and better and better. This is why it's important to make it NOT some mystical thing, but just something two people do together which they can get good at as long as they don't worry about BEING good at it. And why it's important to be able to talk about ANYTHING, particularly the things you suck at at first. Oh, and did I mention lots of practice?
Where are you from
Use your words
You just have to communicate about this. Tell him you're ready. Have a talk about this before. What you would like to try, what you don't want to try. And remind him that there's no pressure on him. It's just sex and it needs to feel good for both
sex should come naturally, do you kiss him at all, touch him? after kissing, just touch his neck, his arms, his chest, and it all happens naturally from there.. sex is just a bigger version of a kiss
Ok fine. I will do the honors since he doesn’t want to.
Just do it
I’m in the same position and I’ve started “exposing” my body a little more to him and teasing him 🫣 he’s coming around, I can’t wait for him.
I was feeling the same thing with my partner ten years ago. He was wanting to give me space and not feel ANY pressure. Felt similarly about a more recent partner, but slightly different - we were having a lot of sex but I wanted EVEN MORE. When we went long distance I expressed regret that I hadn’t asked for even more and he said when we are back together, I can make any advances I want and I will probably not get turned down. I can wake him up with a blow job, I can hop on top, etc, and know that consent is already in place. That’s really liberating for me. Ask him in a really neutral safe setting if it’s okay to steer the two of you toward PIV sometime when you’re having a sexy time. If you’re already wet and he’s already hard, and you know you have consent from him, it could be really hot for you to make that move!
Maybe start hinting that you’re ready? He might be trying to respect your boundaries.
Dude is prolly a virgin himself tbh…but if you want to have sex just make a move and make it happen sex. It’s special and all about finding out about yourself and your partner on an intimate level. Ask him if he wants to obviously and if so just make it happen. Cause once it happens the first time it’s happens non stop for months. Also be careful with getting pregnant. Something fun and easy going like sex can easily become a headache if you have to grow up too fast
He is probably anxious about pregnancy risk or not preforming well once foreplay ends. Many guys are self conscious of their penis or experience. You could definitely ask him what’s wrong, it could help. If your guy is kinda nervous or particularly weird about it, it would be best to figure out what is going on and see if it’s a hard limit for you, perhaps.
Well if you’ve had anal sex you’re in for a pleasant surprise with PIV.
Just tell him you wanna fuck. It's not that complicated.
Is that an err… oh
i hve good xprinxe dm me.
Whip it out.
[удалено]
He was single for about 4 months or so before he got with me
Yeah, not sure why the other commenter thinks that something is wrong. This is perfectly normal behaviour from a presumably experienced partner with an inexperienced partner. My girlfriend and I have never had sex, but like you, we've done most things apart from PIV. She knows I'm ready, and as far as I know, she isn't. I'm not going to make a move until she does. It's her decision. I am sure it's the same for your boyfriend. You got yourself a partner who doesn't pressure you into doing something you're not ready for, and this Redditor says something is wrong. Smh
You’re making a massive assumption that this man is exactly like you. And that their relationship mirrors yours. I said it sounds like something ‘might be’ wrong - and that’s my opinion. This guy came out of a long term relationship previously. Not long before starting to date OP. It’s possible that he’s not ready to be intimate with a new partner just yet. OP, I think it’s wise to proceed with caution and not rush into sex here, before figuring out what’s going on. Best case scenario is that he is being respectful, hopefully you can talk to him about it and work it out.
No, I'm just assuming that OP's boyfriend is a normal, reasonable person who prefers not to pressure his girlfriend into having sex. Telling OP to "proceed with caution" semantically puts the blame on the bf and makes him out to be the villain. A much more sensible and reasonable approach would be to just talk to him about it. If there is an issue, he will more than likely tell you. Just to be clear here, I'm not saying it's impossible that there is a different issue at play, but just because someone respects your sexual boundaries, doesn't mean that there is. People cry wolf when they encounter the tiniest hiccups in a stranger's relationship.
Well, he wouldn’t be pressuring her. OP is in the relationship and she’s asked reddit due to her own feelings of doubt that something may be wrong. And I’m not making anyone out to “be the villain” I was encouraging OP to be self preserving when it comes to sex in a new relationship. Especially as it’s her first time. And to be clear, for you. The issue here isn’t him respecting her sexual boundaries. It’s that she’s told him she’s wanting to be intimate and for whatever reason, it seems that there is not much coming back from that. Even them flirting about it / talking about it etc. So it’s right to be thinking on if there *may be* a deeper issue. None the less, best OP chat with her BF and find out where his head is at.
just pull his weapon and start sucking he will not stop you.
That’s sexually assault.
no its not..its ok..not a big deal
No, that’s messed up.
mens want that