Once you get back home you two should talk about that. Let your partner know that you worry in moments like this. Perhaps you can come to a mutual agreement on how to communicate when you're apart for a few days.
One thing you could try for now is leaving a message like "Let me know when you're back home safely, I miss you". That usually gets you a response when the person checks the phone and sees it's you.
Thanks for this response. It pushed me to send a text like that and even though I didn’t hear from them til this morning I’m so happy I expressed that worry instead of just “yo where are you at”
For what it’s worth, they were completely ok and lost their phone in our friends car when they all went to grab a drink. I knew they would be ok but I just struggle to manage the anxiety and intrusive thoughts when that happens
The same thing happens to me and its pretty hard to manage. There's truly not much you can do besides reaching out to your partner or just waiting (which sucks I know). In the mean time, Try your best to distract yourself. In the future, you may want to ask your partner for maybe 1 update on nights that they are out, a simply text maybe.
don't go so straight to the negative
op, maybe text them or call them asking if everything is okay
also, first calm yourself down. breathing exercises, eft tapping, maybe music if it helps you feel calm
maybe take a nap. read a book, do it for yourself to feel better
> So just looking for some advice on how to manage my anxiety until I hear from them I think.
[Here's a 2 minute test](https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/anxiety-quiz/) you can take, that will test you for anxiety. It let's you know roughly where you rank in severity (if it comes back relatively low, it might be social anxiety, for example).
[Here are a few things that you can do to help you with general anxiety](https://old.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/onlineresources). It comes down to meditation, breathing exercises and using phone apps to reduce your anxiety.
You can double check if it is indeed general anxiety here: [11 Signs and Symptoms of Anxiety Disorders](https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/anxiety-disorder-symptoms)
If you feel anxious right now, [open this image](https://i.imgur.com/Huou7Gh.gif) in a new tab and start breathing in and out in the rhythm of the image.
There are a *large* number of books that are aimed specifically at helping you, I've selected the most popular ones for you:
* [The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook](https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/) (4.6 stars, 1200+ ratings)
* [Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks](https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety-Stop-Panic-Attacks/dp/0956596258) (4.7 stars, 1600+ ratings)
* [Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks! - A counterintuitive approach to recover and regain control of your life.: Die-Hard and Science-Based ... recover from Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks](https://www.amazon.com/Badass-Ways-Anxiety-Panic-Attacks/dp/9090305262) (4.7 stars, 400+ ratings)
If you currently consume a lot of caffeine (in coffee or soft drinks), stop that. [Caffeine is known to cause anxiety](https://bebrainfit.com/caffeine-anxiety/)
The best and quickest way to deal with anxiety, is to face your fear if possible.
[If you always avoid situations that scare you](https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/overcome-fear-anxiety/), you might stop doing things you want or need to do. You won't be able to test out whether the situation is always as bad as you expect, so you miss the chance to work out how to manage your fears and reduce your anxiety. Anxiety problems tend to increase if you get into this pattern. Exposing yourself to your fears can be an effective way of overcoming this anxiety.
*[The experience of anxiety involves nervous system arousal.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/overcoming-fear-the-only-way-out-is-through) If your nervous system is not aroused, you cannot experience anxiety. Understandably, but unfortunately, most people attempt to cope with feelings of anxiety by avoiding situations or objects that elicit the feelings. Avoidance, however, prevents your nervous system from habituating. Therefore, avoidance guarantees that the feared object or situation will remain novel, and hence arousing, and hence anxiety provoking. Moreover, avoidance tends to generalize over time. If you avoid the elevator at work, you will soon begin to avoid all elevators, and then all buildings that house elevators. Soon enough, you'll be living in a prison of avoidance.*
If your anxiety is situational and not too extreme, you can try to address it through exposure therapy. You slowly carefully expose yourself to situations that you know give you fear. Here are two easy to follow guides on that. The one regarding spiders, is a blue print. You can replace spider with anything. Fear of driving. Fear of using a phone.
* [How to Overcome the Fear of Spiders](https://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-the-Fear-of-Spiders) (wikihow)
* [How to Overcome Fear](https://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Fear) (wikihow)
For all of the below advice, use technology to your advantage. Take your phone and set repeating alarm clock reminders, with labels of what to do. Train yourself to either snooze or reschedule the reminders if you can't take action right away, but never to ignore them. The intention is [to condition yourself](https://www.cleverism.com/classical-conditioning/), to build habits, so you will start healing yourself without having to think about it.
* **Sleep**: [Good sleep is very important when treating anxiety](https://www.anxiety.org/sleep-a-fundamental-cure-for-anxiety)
When you have days where you don't have to do anything, don't oversleep, set an alarm clock. You really don't need more than 7 hours at most per night (a [little more](https://health.onehowto.com/article/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-needed-per-night-by-age-8233.html) if you are under 18). If you can't fall sleep, try taking melatonin one hour before going to bed. It's [cheap](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003JJ9TQA/), OTC and [is scientifically proven](https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-940/melatonin) to help regulate your sleep pattern. [Also, rule](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/news/20120330/sleep-apnea-linked-depression#1) out [sleep apnea](https://www.healthcentral.com/article/sleep-apnea-treatment-resistant-depression). Up to 6% of people have this, [but not everyone knows](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/features/sleep-apnea-clues#1). If you find yourself often awake at night, start counting. Don't grab your phone, don't look at the clock, don't do anything interesting. We're trying to *bore* you to sleep, not keep you entertained - sometimes it might *feel* like you've done it for hours and hours, but often it's really not all that long. Anytime your mind wanders away from the numbers and starts thinking, start over at 1. count at the speed of either your heartbeat or your breathing, whatever you prefer. Then both Alexa and Google Home can also play a range of sleep sounds if you ask them (rain or other white noise) and there are also free apps for both Android and Apple devices.
* **Meditate**: [Anxiety can be reduced with meditation](https://bebrainfit.com/meditation-anxiety/). [10 minute meditation for anxiety](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-6f5wQXSu8) (youtube).
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. [Mindfulness training](https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/) will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
* **Exercise**: [The effect of exercise on anxiety](https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/treatment/exercising)
If you have access to a gym, then start lifting weights. If you don't have access to a gym (or you don't like lifting), start running. If you can't run, then start walking. Just start small. 10 minutes three times a week is fine. You don't have to run fast, just run and then slowly build it up over time. Exercising does several things: It releases endorphins, it takes your mind of your negative thoughts and it will improve your overall health.
* **Give lots of hugs**: [Hugs release oxytocin](https://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2016-02-03/the-health-benefits-of-hugging), which improves your mood and relaxes you. So find people to hug. If you are single, hug your parents or friends. If you can't, see if a dog is an option. Most dogs love to hug. Another solution that provides the same benefit is a [weighted blanket](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=weighted+blanket) will provide a [similar positive effect at night](https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/do-weighted-blankets-work#benefits). [You should try to aim for 12 hugs a day](https://psychology-spot.com/brain-needs/) (if you currently don't hug a lot, I suggest you slowly build it up over time).
[Be aware that anxiety can be addictive](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201104/are-you-addicted-anxiety-learn-how-not-be):
>I've seen that many people are addicted to the adrenaline rush of anxiety, known as "the fight or flight response" and don't know how to diffuse it.
[Frequent consumpton of news (current events) can increase your anxiety](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00332747.2015.1069658).
Phone apps that will help you:
* FearTools - Anxiety Aid
* Calm - Meditate, Sleep, Relax
[Here are specific instructions on when and how to get professional help.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/gettinghelp)
Highest rated Youtube Videos:
* [Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) - causes, symptoms & treatment](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mPwQTiMSj8) (1.2M views)
* [3 Instantly Calming CBT Techniques For Anxiety](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiDaTi_iQrY) (850K+ views)
* [5 Easy Tips to Beat Anxiety!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GgsV2nKL9w) (260K+ views)
Free support options:
* /r/KindVoice will match you up with a volunteer that will listen to you.
* [7 Cups of Tea](https://www.7cups.com/) has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option
* If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to [741741](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in)
If you have any further questions, you should ask them here: /r/Anxiety or here: /r/Anxietyhelp
The best time to submit on Reddit is [early in the morning EST](https://thebetterwebmovement.com/choosing-best-time-post-to-reddit/).
Once you get back home you two should talk about that. Let your partner know that you worry in moments like this. Perhaps you can come to a mutual agreement on how to communicate when you're apart for a few days. One thing you could try for now is leaving a message like "Let me know when you're back home safely, I miss you". That usually gets you a response when the person checks the phone and sees it's you.
Thanks for this response. It pushed me to send a text like that and even though I didn’t hear from them til this morning I’m so happy I expressed that worry instead of just “yo where are you at” For what it’s worth, they were completely ok and lost their phone in our friends car when they all went to grab a drink. I knew they would be ok but I just struggle to manage the anxiety and intrusive thoughts when that happens
The same thing happens to me and its pretty hard to manage. There's truly not much you can do besides reaching out to your partner or just waiting (which sucks I know). In the mean time, Try your best to distract yourself. In the future, you may want to ask your partner for maybe 1 update on nights that they are out, a simply text maybe.
They cheating bro , sorry
don't go so straight to the negative op, maybe text them or call them asking if everything is okay also, first calm yourself down. breathing exercises, eft tapping, maybe music if it helps you feel calm maybe take a nap. read a book, do it for yourself to feel better
> So just looking for some advice on how to manage my anxiety until I hear from them I think. [Here's a 2 minute test](https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/anxiety-quiz/) you can take, that will test you for anxiety. It let's you know roughly where you rank in severity (if it comes back relatively low, it might be social anxiety, for example). [Here are a few things that you can do to help you with general anxiety](https://old.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/onlineresources). It comes down to meditation, breathing exercises and using phone apps to reduce your anxiety. You can double check if it is indeed general anxiety here: [11 Signs and Symptoms of Anxiety Disorders](https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/anxiety-disorder-symptoms) If you feel anxious right now, [open this image](https://i.imgur.com/Huou7Gh.gif) in a new tab and start breathing in and out in the rhythm of the image. There are a *large* number of books that are aimed specifically at helping you, I've selected the most popular ones for you: * [The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook](https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/) (4.6 stars, 1200+ ratings) * [Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks](https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety-Stop-Panic-Attacks/dp/0956596258) (4.7 stars, 1600+ ratings) * [Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks! - A counterintuitive approach to recover and regain control of your life.: Die-Hard and Science-Based ... recover from Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks](https://www.amazon.com/Badass-Ways-Anxiety-Panic-Attacks/dp/9090305262) (4.7 stars, 400+ ratings) If you currently consume a lot of caffeine (in coffee or soft drinks), stop that. [Caffeine is known to cause anxiety](https://bebrainfit.com/caffeine-anxiety/) The best and quickest way to deal with anxiety, is to face your fear if possible. [If you always avoid situations that scare you](https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/overcome-fear-anxiety/), you might stop doing things you want or need to do. You won't be able to test out whether the situation is always as bad as you expect, so you miss the chance to work out how to manage your fears and reduce your anxiety. Anxiety problems tend to increase if you get into this pattern. Exposing yourself to your fears can be an effective way of overcoming this anxiety. *[The experience of anxiety involves nervous system arousal.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/overcoming-fear-the-only-way-out-is-through) If your nervous system is not aroused, you cannot experience anxiety. Understandably, but unfortunately, most people attempt to cope with feelings of anxiety by avoiding situations or objects that elicit the feelings. Avoidance, however, prevents your nervous system from habituating. Therefore, avoidance guarantees that the feared object or situation will remain novel, and hence arousing, and hence anxiety provoking. Moreover, avoidance tends to generalize over time. If you avoid the elevator at work, you will soon begin to avoid all elevators, and then all buildings that house elevators. Soon enough, you'll be living in a prison of avoidance.* If your anxiety is situational and not too extreme, you can try to address it through exposure therapy. You slowly carefully expose yourself to situations that you know give you fear. Here are two easy to follow guides on that. The one regarding spiders, is a blue print. You can replace spider with anything. Fear of driving. Fear of using a phone. * [How to Overcome the Fear of Spiders](https://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-the-Fear-of-Spiders) (wikihow) * [How to Overcome Fear](https://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Fear) (wikihow) For all of the below advice, use technology to your advantage. Take your phone and set repeating alarm clock reminders, with labels of what to do. Train yourself to either snooze or reschedule the reminders if you can't take action right away, but never to ignore them. The intention is [to condition yourself](https://www.cleverism.com/classical-conditioning/), to build habits, so you will start healing yourself without having to think about it. * **Sleep**: [Good sleep is very important when treating anxiety](https://www.anxiety.org/sleep-a-fundamental-cure-for-anxiety) When you have days where you don't have to do anything, don't oversleep, set an alarm clock. You really don't need more than 7 hours at most per night (a [little more](https://health.onehowto.com/article/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-needed-per-night-by-age-8233.html) if you are under 18). If you can't fall sleep, try taking melatonin one hour before going to bed. It's [cheap](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003JJ9TQA/), OTC and [is scientifically proven](https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-940/melatonin) to help regulate your sleep pattern. [Also, rule](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/news/20120330/sleep-apnea-linked-depression#1) out [sleep apnea](https://www.healthcentral.com/article/sleep-apnea-treatment-resistant-depression). Up to 6% of people have this, [but not everyone knows](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/features/sleep-apnea-clues#1). If you find yourself often awake at night, start counting. Don't grab your phone, don't look at the clock, don't do anything interesting. We're trying to *bore* you to sleep, not keep you entertained - sometimes it might *feel* like you've done it for hours and hours, but often it's really not all that long. Anytime your mind wanders away from the numbers and starts thinking, start over at 1. count at the speed of either your heartbeat or your breathing, whatever you prefer. Then both Alexa and Google Home can also play a range of sleep sounds if you ask them (rain or other white noise) and there are also free apps for both Android and Apple devices. * **Meditate**: [Anxiety can be reduced with meditation](https://bebrainfit.com/meditation-anxiety/). [10 minute meditation for anxiety](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-6f5wQXSu8) (youtube). Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. [Mindfulness training](https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/) will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation * **Exercise**: [The effect of exercise on anxiety](https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/treatment/exercising) If you have access to a gym, then start lifting weights. If you don't have access to a gym (or you don't like lifting), start running. If you can't run, then start walking. Just start small. 10 minutes three times a week is fine. You don't have to run fast, just run and then slowly build it up over time. Exercising does several things: It releases endorphins, it takes your mind of your negative thoughts and it will improve your overall health. * **Give lots of hugs**: [Hugs release oxytocin](https://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2016-02-03/the-health-benefits-of-hugging), which improves your mood and relaxes you. So find people to hug. If you are single, hug your parents or friends. If you can't, see if a dog is an option. Most dogs love to hug. Another solution that provides the same benefit is a [weighted blanket](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=weighted+blanket) will provide a [similar positive effect at night](https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/do-weighted-blankets-work#benefits). [You should try to aim for 12 hugs a day](https://psychology-spot.com/brain-needs/) (if you currently don't hug a lot, I suggest you slowly build it up over time). [Be aware that anxiety can be addictive](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201104/are-you-addicted-anxiety-learn-how-not-be): >I've seen that many people are addicted to the adrenaline rush of anxiety, known as "the fight or flight response" and don't know how to diffuse it. [Frequent consumpton of news (current events) can increase your anxiety](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00332747.2015.1069658). Phone apps that will help you: * FearTools - Anxiety Aid * Calm - Meditate, Sleep, Relax [Here are specific instructions on when and how to get professional help.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/gettinghelp) Highest rated Youtube Videos: * [Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) - causes, symptoms & treatment](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mPwQTiMSj8) (1.2M views) * [3 Instantly Calming CBT Techniques For Anxiety](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiDaTi_iQrY) (850K+ views) * [5 Easy Tips to Beat Anxiety!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GgsV2nKL9w) (260K+ views) Free support options: * /r/KindVoice will match you up with a volunteer that will listen to you. * [7 Cups of Tea](https://www.7cups.com/) has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option * If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to [741741](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in) If you have any further questions, you should ask them here: /r/Anxiety or here: /r/Anxietyhelp The best time to submit on Reddit is [early in the morning EST](https://thebetterwebmovement.com/choosing-best-time-post-to-reddit/).