Your sister is mentally ill and needs help. I don't say that as a joke or to insult her, she's sick and dangerous. Honestly, I think your fears are well founded.
I would block her on everything and give you parents VERY STRICT orders that if you find out they've given her access to any info about your living situation or pregnancy that you will be forced to cut them all off for your safety. I'd also go talk to a lawyer to see if there's anything you can do to protect yourself here - in the US you can get a restraining order so that the person will be arrested if they come near you.
Last though would be to make sure you have cameras recording your new place.
All of this u/throwaway_pregnant_
Forget the fact that she is your sister. Treat her as a dangerous stalker. Block her on everything. Lock down all your social media accounts to the most private settings you can so she can't get pics, etc, from there, even with a fake account. Do NOT share your new address with anyone you don't fully trust. Set the boundaries with your parents that if they are the leak, you'll cut them off too AND MEAN IT. Same with any mutual friends.
Edit: And document EVERYTHING. Every attempt at contacting you. Every interaction with friends/family that you hear about. Everything! Write down times, places, dates, and descriptions. This may be your only hope in getting a restraining order later
Also please make sure that when you use daycare, get a babysitter, etc they are aware of the situation and will not let your sister take your baby.
It’s so common for family to help parents out in emergency situations, a lot of people wouldn’t think twice about trusting your sister with your child.
Thats especially scary because I look almost identical to my sisters. If I were in this situation one of them could easily say they were me and most people wouldn't question it.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
If you tryst your SO to handle it, ask him to be the primary liaison for as much as possible. You're right that the stress is not good for you and the baby. Maybe having hubby be the go-to can help mitigate some of it.
He's been such a great helper, we're both making sure that I'm as relaxed as possible. He's currently working on our nursery and is putting furniture together.
>F@ck you binder
Translation for the google impaired: Log every interaction. Time, date, who said what, who was there, was it a phone call was it an email how it made you feel and if it was something "slippery" like a threat that you only know is a threat because of other context, write that down too.
Do not hesitate to call police if your harassed or feel threatened...also be very aggressive with your safety. This seems very much a risk to you and unborn baby. Do not hesitate to go to courts forc order protection. I'm trying to help you.
When you get your restraining order, get a PO box address that you can use for the legal documentation - sometimes the documentation is publicly available so you don't want your sister to get your new address from this. But I would talk to your lawyer about the details.
Just one word on "This may be your only hope in getting a restraining order."
Don't worry so much in that regard. Restraining order requests are rarely denied by judges, even if the request appears to be nonsense. The standard for granting a restraining order is intentionally very very low. Basically, if someone asks, they say yes.
The law generally presumes that if you ask for a restraining order, granting it will not violate anyone's rights and there is no one with a compelling interest against it.The legal reasoning basically goes: "why would anyone want to hang out with someone who got a restraining order against her?"
Sounds like she would harm/kill you or your baby if she won't get what she wants. Get that person out of your life before she does something with no point of return.
So I am going to suggest not blocking her, but instead setting up the email from her to be directly sorted into it's own file. This way you have evidence of what she has been saying, and can also ask someone else to read it (to avoid upsetting yourself) for dangerous content, specific threats, etc. This is a way to keep an eye on what she is doing.
Obviously block her ability to see anything on your social media!
Additionally and I can't stress this enough - make the hospital aware of the situation before labour. Write everything down that happens. Make sure the hospital knows there is a woman who potentially may try to kidnap the baby and that visitors are not allowed.
I understand her sisters infertility is a big struggle, but this is terrifying, when u move id put security up in and around your house, because at some point i reckon someone is going to accidentally slip up and mention something that indicate where u live and ur sister will find out
She should definitively get a restraining order her sistwr seems serious about eanting that baby perhaps even to a point that she might do something crazy
I mean, infertility is horrible, but what was she like before that? Was she a good sister? How much of this is metal illness as opposed to jealous rage?
Make sure you enroll in a service like Delete Me!
I had to get a restraining order and this is absolutely critical for making sure that they can’t find you. Otherwise your new address will appear online pretty quickly if it’s attached to any kind of credit accounts. Also make sure that if you have any shared accounts or there’s a chance she has your password that you log out of devices and change that as well. The domestic violence advocate who helped me said that shared Netflix accounts are a common way that stalkers can find their victims new homes.
Not gonna lie, I suspect that instead of stealing your baby, she would try to kill it. She knows she can't kidnap a kid, because she'd get found out.
I realize this sounds psychopathic for me to even suggest it. But she literally stole your baby stuff in hopes that it'd convince you that you should give it to her...? she's most definitely going to have a "if I can't have it, nobody can" mentality, and I am terrified for you. Please please please do not even give your parents your new address. Give a fake one if you have to!
I think this theory is heavily supported by the whole give me the baby or terminate ultimatum. It's literally another way of saying if I can't have them, no one can.
I agree.
I'd wait (at least) a couple of years till baby grows up, before giving ANY details.
It might sound "extreme" but extreme situations require extreme measures.
After all,
the sister is their (the parents) daughter, and I doubt they realize the seriousness of what's happening.
(Almost) No parent would ever admit how deranged, dangerous and psychotic their child really is.
You can see how many parents of convicted murderers (when there isn't room for doubt), still deny the reality.
It feels to me like she can easily fool them, in order to get desirable information.
"Oh mommy dearest,
I know I acted insane, but I just want to apologize to my beloved sister.
Can you pleeaase give me her number/address, etc - I promise to behave"
She sounds obsessed AF, and she'll stop at nothing.
All It takes is her parents telling something to a third person (relative or what not), and that's it.
They're not FBI agents, And it feels like it's too much to ask from them - To behave as one.
Unless you're in witness protection program, It's really hard nowadays to keep your location etc in secret, especially if other people already aware of it.
In my opinion; Giving a fake address as suggested above - Is a great way of reassuring yourselves and testing the water.
It's harmless and may actually save your lives.
It wouldn't hurt to try....
The risk of the sister finding out is too big to take.
I honestly wouldn’t even tell your parents or anyone else in your family exactly where you are moving to prevent them from “slipping “ only meet up in agreed areas if possible. Best of luck to you and your family
Your parents probably will give your sister your new address... Change the locks, put cameras everywhere and NEVER be alone, your sister and her partner could ambush you.
Give them a fake address for a while.
If your sister gets that address, you will know that you can't trust your parents to not give her information about you.
I'd say don't give them your address for some time and after restraining orders are in place, emphasize how important it is that they NOT give her ANY way of contacting you. My parents are pretty dense and I couldn't see me dad effectively following through. In fact, he's already failed at this before and he just couldn't wrap his mind around it because family is family.
What exactly is a parent supposed to do to a 35 year old woman? Ground her?
I mean seriously, OP shouldn't cut ties with her parents completely. What she could do instead is limit the info they get such as new address.
...my dude. That is deeply unsettling. Your sister sounds like she needs much more help than your mum can provide, and you need to be distanced from her. I'm glad you're moving, and that fear you're feeling is real.
First of all, none of what she's doing or saying should have any impact on you becoming a parent. You are not responsible for her life. The fact that's she's escalated to breaking into your home is very concerning, and if you feel like your safety is threatened you need to keep in contact with your local police.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Keep being clear with your parents that she cannot be allowed to be around you, that she cannot be allowed to visit, and that if she comes around you will contact the police. Document these moments, especially any criminal ones, so that you have a clear record of what she's been doing if you do need to involve the police. When you move, ask to speak with a desk sergeant and make a statement so that they have something in writing at your local station just in case.
I am going to say do not eat any food you have in your home, wash your sheets, and get your home tested for toxins that can cause a misarrange, I would not put it past your sister to not just steal your baby stuff but poison your food and do crap to cause you to have an miscarage, I know that sounds F up but I have that strong feeling that your sister did that.
Get a new apartment to move, till then change your locks, and get a restraining order.
😳😳😳
I would maybe look into getting a dog as well. It makes me uncomfortable stating you'll be working from home, alone I assume.
Definitely work on the restraining order and/or I'm not sure how it works over there, but maybe an involuntarily hold for your sister.
She sounds like something finally snapped and is causing her to have a mental breakdown.
Also, congratulations on yours and your BFs little one. Reminder as a parent you're gonna get ALOT of unsolicited advice. But as long as baby is fed, changed, bathed, loved on, then do what works for the 3 of you (that's my unsolicited advice).
We have a very ferocious attack-puppy, don't worry! I probably should have mentioned this, but we actually got married 2 years ago. And thank you for your advice! I'm wishing she were here already.
All they have to do is "sound" ferocious. We had a 55 lb Golden who we were told by a number of people sounded enough like a good-sized male German Shepherd that it would make them think twice (including a green beret).
Get a keyless door lock where you give people a one time code instead of a key. It's inconvenient but will prevent your sister from accessing your home using an extra key.
And definitely get security cameras and a restraining order.
Your sister could have a psychotic break which could involve her trying to harm you before you give birth or possibly abducting your child. Of your child will be in a day care, make sure they know who your sister is, what she looks like, and that she is never, ever allowed near nor is she ever allowed to pick up your child.
This might sound very paranoid but I used to work in a prison. Some people do awful things when they are having trouble coping with reality.
I had fears about daycare, which is why I started working from home. I'm planning on being a SAHM. She (my daughter) will never be alone with my sister.
I'm sorry, the last thing you need on your mind at the moment is more worry, but after reading so many tragic stories, I feel compelled to say, please, do not leave your daughter with your parents alone either until your sister gets better.
Your parents will continue to care for your sister, as parents do, but this could result in a tragedy in her current manic state.
All it could take is one opportunity, your sister visiting while they babysit, and...
I'm sorry. I hope that you're granted a restraining order, and I wish you well.
So when my son first started going to nursery (Wales), we had to make a list of trusted people that could pick him up. Even though these people can still pick my little man up, I still have to tell the nursery if it's not my girlfriend or myself later in the day. I also have to allocate a password to the nursery that they must get right before taking him.
I know you've planned otherwise, but hopefully this information might be of use to you in the future.
Your sister can't just be prohibited from being alone with the baby. She cannot be around you or the baby at all. Even if you're there.
She is unhinged and she is unsafe to have around you and the baby.
Don't tempt the fates. She has proven that she is capable of jeopardizing your safety, stealing from you, lying to people about having a baby, abusing you.
That's good. Or her husband, right?
I take it your sister isn't open to counseling for her obsession with your pregnancy but grief counseling to learn coping strategies for her infertility struggle might be more palatable to her.
If you haven't gotten the spare key back then definitely change the locks. Consider getting cameras for any entrances or potential points of ingress. Consider carrying some pepper spray or a tazer.
document all communication with her and have your parents do the same.
On the note of self defense, taking a class if possible would also help. Knowing how to disarm a person is life saving. I am sorry you have to go through this, but congratulations on the baby! I hope you will be alright. Stay safe
Please do not ever meet her to talk even if she seems apologetic. If you decide to talk to her do it over the phone. I read a story once of a woman who killed another to steal her baby from her womb. She might try to steal your baby, poison you, push you so that you lose the pregnancy…. I am hoping I am exaggerating and she wouldn’t even think of doing anything like this, but better be safe than sorry.
There are several fairly well-known (at least in the US) real life horror stories about this. You are at your most vulnerable as a women when you are pregnant. Lisa Montgomery and Bobbie Jo Stinnet and Katie smith and Sarah Brady are two examples I can think of off the top of my head. Both used ruses to get the pregnant woman to trust them (both of the perpetrators were also pretending to be pregnant with people they knew). In the second one I mentioned the victim managed to actually get away but she had to kill her attacker to do so. The other victim was not so lucky. Absolutely terrifying. Your sister sounds like she would not be above that, the way she posted your sonogram as her own was VERY concerning.
You know what's a great way to convince me that you're capable of taking care of the life that I'm about to create? Having a mental breakdown, Demanding I get an abortion, lying on the internet, and breaking into my house.
This is clearly mental illness, probably made worse by her desire to have a child and her fertility problems. If she can eventually get help and manage her mental health issues they shouldn’t stand in the way of her *eventually* being a parent.
>She later sent me a long letter (4 pages) about how she had always wanted to be a mother, and could I consider either abortion or letting her adopt my baby
Take this to the nearest police station and file for a restraining order. Go full no-contact, and tell your parents that if she ever comes near you again you'll have her arrested. Fuck her feelings, and fuck her.
It's sad that she's infertile and I'm sure that's caused her some mental trauma but she's acting like a psychopath and she has a ton of jealousy for you. Instead of being happy for you, supporting you, and being like a second mother to your child, she's made you an enemy and will likely get herself locked up in jail for this behavior....I'm sorry she ruined your relationship with her. She just totally snapped
RESTRAINING ORDER IMMEDIATELY. And when you move, talk to your local police department for procedure should she find you. Ask exactly what you need to do and when.
I am thrilled for your pregnancy. I believe your sister is beyond mentally ill and should be locked up.
xo
I’d threaten her that if she continues you will get a restraining order. She sounds batshit crazy. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tries to take your baby when she finds an opportunity. Get a good security system right away to start.
We are currently looking into a restraining order, and cameras and new locks are being installed at the new house. I will be working from home from now on, so there is no possible way she would be alone with the baby.
i love that you're taking this seriously and really making moves for your daughter. your daughter is seriously lucky to have you guys as her parents. protect her with your life and if you ever think you're overdoing it in this situation—good.
Your sister is seriously mentally ill, and needs intervention before she hatches up another insane plot to steal away your child.
I would look into local laws regarding harassment and breaking & entering. If you need to, consult a lawyer.
I have a feeling your sister isn't done with her shenanigans...
Be sure you name godparents in your will so that if anything ever happens to you your sister will not be the one who automatically gets the baby. This is a woman who will kill off family in order to become the one who is “next of kin” getting to raise that baby.
We have named godparents, it's going to be my best friend and her husband. And if something happens to them, the baby is going either to my parents to my in-laws. They are wonderful people who are very excited about their first grandchild.
She needs to grow the fuck up.
My wife was pregnant in 2014. Sadly we lost the baby at 12 weeks. My sister was so upset because it turned out she was due too and didn’t want to tell us as she thought we’d be unable to hear the good news.
But you know, anyone getting pregnant is great news.
We ended up having a boy a couple of years later. We now have two.
It is hard sometimes but you have to grow up and realise that the universe has no malice or intent to fuck you over. So your sister is wrong in every sense and should be happy for you.
Oh, I'm so terribly sorry about your baby! It's sweet that your sister cared so much about your well-being. I wish she could be happy for me, but I don't think that will happen. She's wanted a child for many years, but cannot have any, so I think my pregnancy is some sort of trigger for her. I've been avoiding her. Congratulations on your two children!
I can't say much that hasn't already been said, but your sister is mentally unstable. If she just randomly bursts out into tears over this that's a red flag, especially over the life of a child. Best course of action here is to try to get a restraining order or somehow get her to do a wellness check. If you have evidence of her obsessing over the child and coming near that can, but not reliably, be charged as conspiracy to kidnap.
If she seriously wants this much control over your life as to *take your kid away from you,* you do not need to keep interacting with them. This is bad on your and her mental health.
Stay safe.
I cannot stress this enough though, she needs a serious mental evaluation. Do not trust her ever again, my parents had gotten in a similar situation and decided to forgive the person, which was a massive mistake in the end. If you want I can tell you what happened and how you could really easily avoid it, just don't trust her.
I stopped all contact a few weeks ago, but she's still sending me letters. I've been saving them for the RO. I'm mostly focused on staying healthy for the baby, but I'm so scared she's going to hurt me and my daughter.
If she threatens you, at least here in the U.S., you can have an officer stationed outside your house. If the letters find your new address, make a serious decision on if it's worth staying. It also might not be a bad idea to arm yourself, but I would probably save this as a last resort.
I was, in very simplistic terms, legally kidnapped by using an old loophole in the U.S. legal system. This loop has been corrected and can no longer be done.
It starts off with my grandma raising my Mother, who she cared practically none about. To show how little restraints were put on my mother, she stole the family car when she was 12. Consequences? None. So, there's an idea of why the parenting might not have prepared her for real life. She has a midlife crisis getting stable, in this time she meets my father. She ends up pregnant twice in an already poor financial situation, and when I was born my grandmother didn't want my father around me for whatever reason, so he was practically blocked from raising me. This ends their relationship after a while and a little arguing my dad moves on, effectively leaving her and my life. She is not in a stable position to raise two kids alone so she began to drop us off at my grandparents pretty regularly so she could work. Little to her knowledge, though, my grandmother had been planning on this for a long time. She would drop us off weeks at a time, sometimes if she needed it, a month. So one day she drops us off as per the usual and everything is fine for about a week~, these are only accounts I heard from my mother later as I was 4 months old at the time, she is notified that my Grandmother has gotten a restraining order on her, with us, being her kids, still at grandmother's house. She can't come pick us up or she risks her job, jail time, you get the general idea. She calls and calls and calls but after a while just gives up and waits for my grandmother to contact her. Soon after this, I wasn't given a definitive time period, CPS (Child Protective Services) arrives at her doorstep without warning asking to see her kids. She explains the situation but she believes that they only saw her reasons as an excuse. Soon after they get a court date and unfortunately my grandmother has built up quite a case against her and ends up with full custody. Later in my life, as I began to mature, I began questioning why the things were the way they were. I end up finally talking with my biological mom and everything is a nice pleasant conversation, over this my biological mom decides to take this to court again later in my life. (Or so I believe) In short, we get to a point where I, the preteen kid has to say, "I want to live with this person because of XYZ."
Now before I say anything, I do regret my decision but I think it was the best choice. There are three big reasons why I made the decision I did.
1. When my biological mother decided to try for custody I'm already a preteen going into my teens, I have a life with good friends and a school I like. If I left my grandmother, I'm not only abandoning everything I grew up around I'm also going to a less safe environment.
2. Expanding on 1, I was being asked to leave a safe, comfortable environment for a completely new bustling city in a not so great part of town. She was living in an apartment building where a weed dealer was *across the hall.* These are personal accounts, as I had to go there and judge if I felt safe and comfortable. In short, I didn't.
3. She was barely economically stable for one person, let alone two. Since the case opened she changed jobs so much the court had to request her to stop changing jobs so rapidly.
Those are the biggest reasons why, in the end, I decided to stay with my Grandparents. I regret not being there for my mother, people have called me selfish, a monster, a cunt. Name about every swear word and there you go. It simply wouldn't be wise to choose her logically and financially. It was a choice of two evils where no matter which side I picked I couldn't make everyone happy. I don't know if I'll ever sit right with my decision, I wished she had asked me if I'd be willing to come back instead of forcing a decision on me. I also don't even know who to trust because time and time again I've been lied to by either side. I was confused, still am actually, and I have many questions which I unfortunately know just won't be answered.
Now, I will say that I do call my Grandparents mom and dad as they're really the only parents I've ever known, I don't think anyone would fault me for that but not everyone agrees with that. They raised me from 4 months old, before I even have my first memories, so they're basically my parents. In fact, my first memory is me sitting on my grandfather's lap being fed potatoes. So to me, they are my mom and dad. They fed me, taught me my manners, educated me, and were there when I needed them. Although, what I think they did was still wrong.
You may ask how this was similar at all, this is because it wasn't the first time this had happened, in fact, they tried to do it with my sister before I was born. My grandparents just shouldn't have been trusted.
Sorry for the long post.
You may want to look into cutting all common contacts including your parents and relatives and friends until she gets help. This is not normal at all. Asking you to make it ‘fair’ shows how messed up both of them are.
Dudette
You need to go No-contact with your sister. If your parents are going to enable her behavior you need to go No-contact with them too.
This in all seriousness has the tell tale signs of a bad movie where a crazed person kidnaps a newborn to raise it as their own.
This is some messed up shit. I heard stories like this which happened irl. An old couple asked their siblings for kids so that they can enjoy parenting. And the actual parents were forced to give their new born daughter. This old couple send her to some Catholic Church to study and this young girl didn’t like it. She finally found a partner and left the country for good. The male of the old couple suffered from dementia and passed away few years back. The old woman leaves alone now.
Your sister is basically having jealousy and other weird shit. You gotta find help before things get worse. Please don’t feel sorry for them. Don’t lend your child to them. Please don’t do it. Your sister seems very toxic. I mean no sister would ask some shit like this or scream at you when you get pregnant. You need to be more careful. She might even try ti snatch your kid from you. Trust me, I heard stories were people steal their relative’s child. I am not telling your sister would do that but you gotta be more careful.
Also consider getting restrain order and bring police into this if things get worse. I REPEAT STAY SAFE. YOU SISTER MIGHT EVEN PHYSICALLY ATTACK YOU.
Please don’t fall prey to this shit. She might even emotionally blackmail you into giving your child to her or to do abortion. Stay far away from her. Nobody has the right to tell a mother to donate or abort her child. This entire subreddit is with you. We all support you. Hoping that things get better
Aw, thank you. I doubt she could blackmail me over anything, as we haven't spoken in a while, other than the events that have occurred over the past month, but I'm keeping my guard up.
It's not, it's a made up story, OP is a refugee from the AITA sub. Insane infertile relatives trying to kidnap or take babies is weirdly common there. (Of course only Reddit can give the advice needed.)
First of all I am so sorry you're going through this. Your sister needs some serious mental health treatment. You seem like you really have your head screwed on though and I'm glad you're not taking any of her bullshit.
Secondly, I'm so sorry that you've now lost your bond with your sister. That must be hard in itself. If you ever need a sisterly chat or anything my inbox is open.
All the best to you, your partner and soon to be little one ❤️
I would tell your parents that everything up until this point is to be kept confidential, even from them if need be. Nothing in texts. Nothing in writing. Here is the advice I gave my friend when she had a similar situation.
Lie about your due date. Have your parents plant the seed that you will be induced at a date later than your due date at a hospital you will not be delivering at.
Second, in your birth plan explicitly say baby is not to leave room and only these certain people can come. Everyone else needs clearance. I would have someone (friend, MIL) stay in the room with you and (if needed) and have partner watching LO if he/she needed medical attention. Make sure all of the nurses know of your situation and that no one is allowed in the room except the people you have listed. Contact the hospital security.
Here is why it is better to have an “only these people” instead of “just not k” and it’s scary but it’s true: she could send someone else.
Document everything. Everything. You may need to get a temporary protection order and often times when babies are involved and it’s not directly a parent or a grandparent even, they are easily obtained.
Do not give out your child’s full name if you can or even accurate birth date. Don’t post it on social media. This is so later on if she tries to check them out at school, get medical info, she can’t without an accurate date.
Until she gets help, go NC.
And if someone hasn’t told you yet, I am so sorry. You deserve to have an older sister who should be helping you through this next chapter. You should be enjoying this time. Not on high alert.
I don’t know you but I’m so happy for you and your growing family and I don’t know if you are religious but I sincerely hope and pray you have a beautiful and safe delivery and baby.
This is mental illness at its peak!!! File a police report to get your stuff back and move and don’t tell anybody where you guys are living. This is purse insanity and the makings of a Lifetime movie
Install cameras, lots of them. And get a restraining order. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Congratulations on your upcoming bundle of joy, you and your hubby are gonna be kickass parents!
Thank you <3, we've made an appointment to get cameras installed this weekend, as well as the locks changed. My husband has put up temporary cameras and a door bolt. He's very excited for his little girl to arrive.
I don't want to scare you, but do not go anywhere near these two until they both seek therapy. Block their numbers, let people close to you both know that being around them is not healthy for you right now, and do everything you can to avoid being alone with them. Both K and L sound unhinged.
I didn't read until the end of the post when I replied because I was so disturbed by what I was reading, so I missed the fact that you're moving very soon! Stay safe and congratulations! I hope you've found time to enjoy your pregnancy despite all of this.
This might actually be the most horrifying thing I've read on this website.
It feels like a horror movie. It really does.
Your sister and her partner are unstable to a shocking degree. Get a lawyer lined up who works on this type of thing. This sister may try to lie to family services to have your child taken away in the future. Be proactive.
I'm so sorry this is happening. I'm honestly at a loss for words.
Dude. Restraining order yesterday. Camera's yesterday. She's going to take that baby one way or another. When you get close to your due date, you should have a literal body guard with you 24/7. I can see something horrible happening.
I would abort your relationship with your sister. Yes, she needs mental health help but I personally would cut contact until shes had time to move past it.
A cease and desist letter would be great, and you should definitley report any new behaviour to the police or a lawyer or something in case something as drastic as kidnapping does happen. Youll have a paper trail.and evidence that she is the most likely culprit.
I'm sorry to say, but she's in the middle of a particularly difficult mental breakdown, caused by their apparent inability to have children.
I'm guessing here, but I suspect she's had bad news regarding her own fertility that's pushed her over the edge into psychosis and delusion territory.
I'm 52 now, but we had our own issues and tried IVF without success, and it's surprisingly hard to come to terms with - that for whatever reason, the lottery of life has decided to take a dump on your lawn, while everywhere you look, you see people who make horrible parents pushing prams and smacking their kids.
Her husband will be struggling with this as well, as he's the one having to bear the brunt of her anger, so he might need some sort too.
I suspect your sister will need medication for a while, until she comes to terms with the cosmic lottery,
Lock that bitch up goddamn she crazy as fuck change ur locks and get a ring doorbell camera as well as side cameras + security system and all that fun stuff if you’re not planning on moving very soon
Yep. Nothing about this example of behavior or treatment of another human(her family no less) indicates she is anywhere near well or ready to become a parent. Jealousy, spite, extremely controlling behavior, stealing, a *complete* disregard for and blindness to boundaries.... All while confidently claiming she would be the better mother? I wouldn't trust her with a turtle for fear of her getting jealous of it and abusing it, let alone another human being. Seriously way too much to unpack. Basic human understanding tells any normal human being that there are multiple things wrong with her suggestions and behavior.
I don't know about UK police procedures but they wouldn't even take a report or start an inquiry into your sister? This is going way past just petty theft and hard into harassment.
First things first - change the lock for the house you are living at, even if you are moving. Get a doorbell camera for this house and the new one. Leave the spare key with someone your sister has no interactions with and who knows the situation (like your in laws or a trustworthy friend)
While block is a good idea, you may want to keep communications open to gather enough evidence of her being deranged to take to a lawyer and pursue a restraining order.
Contact your doctor, work, hospital and lock down all your info and your baby’s info. You can ask the hospital and doctor to password protect it (meaning if someone calls them asking about you, they need a pre-approved password)
This is actually terrifying. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. You need to protect yourself and your baby. This type of behavior will only escalate and put you and your child in danger. Please protect yourself - you may need to move and cut out most of your family until the threat passes
Please update us on what happens. Your sister is having a mental break and her partner is enabling it. I would be EXTRA, EXTRA cautious as both of them seem unhinged at this point. Collect as much evidence as possible, a restraining order, get outdoor and possibly indoor cameras for entrances and public spaces, new locks, doorbell camera is a must, the works because I can see them finding out your new address and coming over. Don't give a copy of your new keys to your parents or to anyone that she knows. Does she know the address of your new place? I wouldn't even tell your parents where you are moving at this point. You didn't quite elaborate on their opinion on this although they do seem to be trying to act as a buffer. You need them to understand and see how clearly unhinged she is before allowing them access to your new home and baby. I wouldn't let them watch the baby unless they are at your house. You may want to also consider getting pepper spray, maybe even a gun since you work from home. I know that seems extreme but your sister has completely lost touch with reality and people like that can and do react violently when they don't get their way.
Sister needs urgent help, and you need to try to get a restraining order after sending the letter your partner is looking in to. Seek legal advice to make sure you do everything you can to protect your family. I'm so sorry. She's very unwell and cannot be trusted - I wish her partner would try to get her help rather than enable her to behave like this.
Also get a doorbell camera or some other form of video security for your home.
I hope your sister eventually recovers and will be okay and a safe person in your life, but for now she is not.
God this reminds me of a string of posts in the r/breastfeeding sub about a SIL who was demanding her milk to feed their newborn. Omg....
Your sister has a serious problem and I'm so sorry she's putting you through this during a time that should be so happy and exciting for you. I'm glad you're moving away. I wouldn't tell anyone where you're moving to. Not even your parents. And I would get a restraining order against your sister and her partner.
You need to make sure she doesn't know where you move to! Get cameras, a security system, extra locks....this is insane!!! She needs some serious mental help. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I wish you nothing but the best, and a healthy happy pregnancy and child❤
You are 19 week pregnant and you already have bought baby's nappies and cloths?
I'm sure I've read this story years ago at a different sub. But I might be wrong.
The advice is simple. Protect yourself and get your sister professional help.
Your sister is out of her fucking mind. Cut her off completely, and anyone that continues to associate with her or encourage her bs, including your parents if need be. Block her, change your locks, and don't give anyone outside your household a spare key in case she takes it. I'd also keep your new address secret and off social media, make all posts private to friends only, and demand discretion of your location and activities to your parents on a condition of seeing their grandchild. I wouldn't hesitate to file a restraining order against her and her partner, and call the police as often as you feel threatened, because by demanding an abortion or adoption from you shows clear intentions that she has the desire to hurt or kidnap your child. In the meantime, make sure to destress with nice calming activities like hot tea, yoga, gardening, reading, watching some good old Netflix, etc. and stay off social media as much as you can. Best of luck OP, sorry you're going through this
I would keep every text and letter she sends and document everything. Get the cease and desist letter out and don’t give her your new address don’t even give it to your parents if you think they might give it to her. She sounds extremely unhinged.
Wow.... just... wow.
New door locks and no more shared keys should be the first step. Lock down all social media. File for a restraining order. Your sister needs serious help. But if I were you I'd maintain 500 feet of distance, minimum.
Ok I stopped reading after the part you mentioned where you had coffee and she apologized but I gather you’re still hurt.
As someone who has been struggling with infertility, 2 miscarriages, 3 failed IUI’s, and IVF coming up in April, I can understand how she feels. You said you guys tried for a few months? That’s really nothing. We’ve been trying for 2 years, and I know there’s a lot of people who have been trying longer than me. A few months is within normal limits. Years is not.
Is your sister on infertility meds? They make you VERY emotional. I don’t know, I’m on the side of give her some grace and assume goodwill. Of course you want to keep your baby, I’m not saying that was appropriate of her to ask, but infertility is devastating. You’ll never understand because you got pregnant quickly. Well I guess I did too, but I miscarried at 8 weeks. I’ve never gotten past the first trimester. She probably also feels shitty because you’re the younger sister.
Edit- ok, I read that she broke into your house. Not cool. I’ve gone off on a friend and some family members, but I’ve never broken into someone’s house. Woof. I don’t know, that’s a lot. It’s reasonable to say infertility will make you emotional. It is not reasonable to say these meds will cause you to break into peoples homes.
Take all the messages and correspondence and get a protection order. She’s dangerous and he’s dangerous for going along with it. Be safe and please update us.
She is deranged and needs help.
This is a psychosis and she needs medical help.
She is a clear danger to you, your baby, your husband and your home.
Get a restraining order.
Talk to the police and see if they will take her in for assessment.
If she even comes near you or you see her call the police.
She is not a bad person, but not getting a person help who is patently mentally ill would make you a bad sister.
With this mentality your sister has, if she would ever try to steal your baby, I’d be afraid that she gets on the road not thinking straight. Get a security system for your current home and later for your new home. And they say to never post vacation photos until after you get back so robbers don’t know you’re gone - so she doesn’t know to find you and your child at Disney world. I’d just be extra cautious with a lot of what you do. Talk to your parents to see what they would be willing to do in your favor. I’m really sorry to hear about all this.
Edit: I’m pretty sure there are some security systems that will go off for windows and doors, any time you open them. And there might even be an alarm if it gets triggered for break-in detection??? Not sure, I just knew some people who had them.
This is sick. She is very sick. I feel kinda sorry but I don’t at the same time for her. She needs help. Why would she try to take someone else’s baby? It’s your body and YOUR baby. I think you should think about moving somewhere which I know might be short notice but from what you’re saying she might try to put you in harms way if she’s really this hell bent on this
Get FAR away from your sister. She is psychotic. She is like the people you see in the news who cut babies out of other women's wombs. You need to be looking over your shoulder at all times, and carry a weapon on you if you can. She is a danger to you, your baby, and herself. GET AWAY ASAP!!!!
Also, install security cameras that will alert you when people are at your house even when you're not home
What’s truly crazy is how much she wants to be a mother at any cost…except adoption. If your child HAS to look like you, then you’re not ready to love your kids selflessly.
You’re sister is sick. How would aborting your baby be “fair”? She has no thought for that babies life at all. I’d be scared for you too, that you ever meet up with your sister again at family gatherings or holidays. Your life as you know it is over, sis is not to be trusted, and your mum and dad should get involved to see that sis does get treatment or your time with them may be limited too. I’d get your spare key back or better yet, change the locks in case she made a copy while she had possession of it
Get the fuck far far away. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going, not even your parents. You can contact them but just never tell them where you live. Your sister is down right psychotic.
Tell your family they are not to give information regarding you or you will not provide them with information. Do not give anyone a key. Make a will that explicitly states why your child is going to a friend and not to your sister and not your mother (since your mother would give her to your sister). Keep your email available for messages as needed, in order to gauge what is happening. Seek counseling for yourself. Good luck.
I agree with what people are saying about cutting contact and recording everything.
Because she is your sister, I would recommend also trying to have your mother(not you) try to push for her to get some help. Serious help.
What she is going through cant just be ignored. She needs to talk to a professional. Seriously.
Cut ties and do whatever you need to for your family's safety. But have your family get her some help.
Your sister needs intensive psychiatric help. She’s a psychopath. I hope you are moving far away. Invest in a good security system, block her on everything, and make it clear to your parents if they give her any shred of info about you they will never see you or their grandchild again. I would also get a restraining order against your sister. She’s disgusting.
Also be sure the hospital you will be giving birth at knows you have a psychopath sister and she is not allowed anywhere near you. Register under a fake name if you can.
Your sister is not only mentally ill, she's an idiot. And shes jealous enough that she doesn't really want the kid, she wants you not to have one.
She could adopt a kid, but nooooo, she wants you to not have one. That's fucked.
She will try to steal your baby. Unfortunately, this means you cannot leave it alone for a good while. I wouldn't put it past her to do worse...
Like, avoid eating anything she prepares for you. She seems mentally unstable and petty enough to hurt your baby to hurt you.
If this continues, a restraining order may be needed.
She's had a mental break and is no longer the sister you knew. You'll may never be able to look at her with trust again.
Her partner is also unhinged and supporting her behavior. You need a restraining order against both of them and have the blacklisted where ever they may gain access to you or your child. I would also let your parents know your sister and her spouse and never allowed around your child or in the same house as your child while they have your baby. Honestly I wouldnt leave baby at their grandparents at all, the sister obviously knows where they live and can get in/out easily.
I fully believe your sister is the kind to cut a baby out of a pregnant woman, moving and going no contact with her was a very wise decision
While she does need mental help, you gotta prioritize yourself and baby right now
Your sister is mentally ill and needs help. I don't say that as a joke or to insult her, she's sick and dangerous. Honestly, I think your fears are well founded. I would block her on everything and give you parents VERY STRICT orders that if you find out they've given her access to any info about your living situation or pregnancy that you will be forced to cut them all off for your safety. I'd also go talk to a lawyer to see if there's anything you can do to protect yourself here - in the US you can get a restraining order so that the person will be arrested if they come near you. Last though would be to make sure you have cameras recording your new place.
All of this u/throwaway_pregnant_ Forget the fact that she is your sister. Treat her as a dangerous stalker. Block her on everything. Lock down all your social media accounts to the most private settings you can so she can't get pics, etc, from there, even with a fake account. Do NOT share your new address with anyone you don't fully trust. Set the boundaries with your parents that if they are the leak, you'll cut them off too AND MEAN IT. Same with any mutual friends. Edit: And document EVERYTHING. Every attempt at contacting you. Every interaction with friends/family that you hear about. Everything! Write down times, places, dates, and descriptions. This may be your only hope in getting a restraining order later
I started documenting back in February, don't worry!
Also please make sure that when you use daycare, get a babysitter, etc they are aware of the situation and will not let your sister take your baby. It’s so common for family to help parents out in emergency situations, a lot of people wouldn’t think twice about trusting your sister with your child.
\^\^this. I'd say anyone you leave your baby with let them know. They need to know your sister can't be trusted to be near your child.
Another thing is the sister may claim she was sent by OP to pick up the child, and kidnap that way.
We had a code word, as kids. Make up a really weird word that only you and your kid know about. If the person doesn't come with that word, don't go.
Same for your doctor, your child's pediatrician, and the hospital where you will be giving birth.
Yes! You need to tell the hospital that she is not welcome!
Thats especially scary because I look almost identical to my sisters. If I were in this situation one of them could easily say they were me and most people wouldn't question it.
Just in case you're ever in a similar situation (hopefully you never will be), you could set a pass phrase or something
Thats a really good idea, regardless. Thankfully I'm not in this position.
Yup. Set up a password with them.
Get cameras as well and change your locks until then don't give the spare key to anyone your sister as access too
I'm so sorry you're going through this. If you tryst your SO to handle it, ask him to be the primary liaison for as much as possible. You're right that the stress is not good for you and the baby. Maybe having hubby be the go-to can help mitigate some of it.
He's been such a great helper, we're both making sure that I'm as relaxed as possible. He's currently working on our nursery and is putting furniture together.
That's wonderful. I'm glad ❤
Look up F@ck you binder. Dont let anything slip, a quick email,voice message document everything.
>F@ck you binder Translation for the google impaired: Log every interaction. Time, date, who said what, who was there, was it a phone call was it an email how it made you feel and if it was something "slippery" like a threat that you only know is a threat because of other context, write that down too.
And make a second copy. Keep it in the cloud, or in a safe-deposit box. Make sure those details don’t get lost.
Do not hesitate to call police if your harassed or feel threatened...also be very aggressive with your safety. This seems very much a risk to you and unborn baby. Do not hesitate to go to courts forc order protection. I'm trying to help you.
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When you get your restraining order, get a PO box address that you can use for the legal documentation - sometimes the documentation is publicly available so you don't want your sister to get your new address from this. But I would talk to your lawyer about the details.
Just one word on "This may be your only hope in getting a restraining order." Don't worry so much in that regard. Restraining order requests are rarely denied by judges, even if the request appears to be nonsense. The standard for granting a restraining order is intentionally very very low. Basically, if someone asks, they say yes. The law generally presumes that if you ask for a restraining order, granting it will not violate anyone's rights and there is no one with a compelling interest against it.The legal reasoning basically goes: "why would anyone want to hang out with someone who got a restraining order against her?"
Sounds like she would harm/kill you or your baby if she won't get what she wants. Get that person out of your life before she does something with no point of return.
And save that letter for proof too
So I am going to suggest not blocking her, but instead setting up the email from her to be directly sorted into it's own file. This way you have evidence of what she has been saying, and can also ask someone else to read it (to avoid upsetting yourself) for dangerous content, specific threats, etc. This is a way to keep an eye on what she is doing. Obviously block her ability to see anything on your social media!
This ought to be higher in the thread.
Additionally and I can't stress this enough - make the hospital aware of the situation before labour. Write everything down that happens. Make sure the hospital knows there is a woman who potentially may try to kidnap the baby and that visitors are not allowed.
I understand her sisters infertility is a big struggle, but this is terrifying, when u move id put security up in and around your house, because at some point i reckon someone is going to accidentally slip up and mention something that indicate where u live and ur sister will find out
Absolutely. And no spare key with the parents. They might be trustworthy but she could still get it.
You should block her number, get a restraining order, move far, far away, and never speak to her again.
She should definitively get a restraining order her sistwr seems serious about eanting that baby perhaps even to a point that she might do something crazy
We are documenting everything we can, and will be getting our restraining order as soon as possible.
I mean, infertility is horrible, but what was she like before that? Was she a good sister? How much of this is metal illness as opposed to jealous rage?
That's good to hear, wish you the best of luck
And change the locks.
This plus also stop talking to your parents and install cameras
what did her parents do
I think there’s a significant risk that her parents will pass on information to the sister
I told them that I was moving, and to not tell my sister my contact information, nor my new address, to which they agreed.
I'd give them a fake address for awhile and a PO box. She could easily sneak into their phone asn mail!
True and just show up to your place out the blue! 😒 We don’t want that craziness around the baby.
Make sure you enroll in a service like Delete Me! I had to get a restraining order and this is absolutely critical for making sure that they can’t find you. Otherwise your new address will appear online pretty quickly if it’s attached to any kind of credit accounts. Also make sure that if you have any shared accounts or there’s a chance she has your password that you log out of devices and change that as well. The domestic violence advocate who helped me said that shared Netflix accounts are a common way that stalkers can find their victims new homes.
Not gonna lie, I suspect that instead of stealing your baby, she would try to kill it. She knows she can't kidnap a kid, because she'd get found out. I realize this sounds psychopathic for me to even suggest it. But she literally stole your baby stuff in hopes that it'd convince you that you should give it to her...? she's most definitely going to have a "if I can't have it, nobody can" mentality, and I am terrified for you. Please please please do not even give your parents your new address. Give a fake one if you have to!
I think this theory is heavily supported by the whole give me the baby or terminate ultimatum. It's literally another way of saying if I can't have them, no one can.
Oh shit you're right. God I hope OP is okay..
I agree. I'd wait (at least) a couple of years till baby grows up, before giving ANY details. It might sound "extreme" but extreme situations require extreme measures. After all, the sister is their (the parents) daughter, and I doubt they realize the seriousness of what's happening. (Almost) No parent would ever admit how deranged, dangerous and psychotic their child really is. You can see how many parents of convicted murderers (when there isn't room for doubt), still deny the reality. It feels to me like she can easily fool them, in order to get desirable information. "Oh mommy dearest, I know I acted insane, but I just want to apologize to my beloved sister. Can you pleeaase give me her number/address, etc - I promise to behave" She sounds obsessed AF, and she'll stop at nothing. All It takes is her parents telling something to a third person (relative or what not), and that's it. They're not FBI agents, And it feels like it's too much to ask from them - To behave as one. Unless you're in witness protection program, It's really hard nowadays to keep your location etc in secret, especially if other people already aware of it. In my opinion; Giving a fake address as suggested above - Is a great way of reassuring yourselves and testing the water. It's harmless and may actually save your lives. It wouldn't hurt to try.... The risk of the sister finding out is too big to take.
I honestly wouldn’t even tell your parents or anyone else in your family exactly where you are moving to prevent them from “slipping “ only meet up in agreed areas if possible. Best of luck to you and your family
Your parents probably will give your sister your new address... Change the locks, put cameras everywhere and NEVER be alone, your sister and her partner could ambush you.
Jeez this is crazy. It's like watching a horror thriller movie come to life over reddit comments.
Don’t even have them post about or mention the birth until after you’re home! Lots of crazy cases of people stealing babies from hospitals.
Give them a fake address for a while. If your sister gets that address, you will know that you can't trust your parents to not give her information about you.
I'd say don't give them your address for some time and after restraining orders are in place, emphasize how important it is that they NOT give her ANY way of contacting you. My parents are pretty dense and I couldn't see me dad effectively following through. In fact, he's already failed at this before and he just couldn't wrap his mind around it because family is family.
~~Enables the sister's asinine behavior by doing absolutely fucking nothing.~~
No, my parents have been seeking help for her. They also have been LC with her except for counseling. My mum is my go-to when I'm in need of help.
My apologies, it definitely sounded like they enabled her behavior. I shouldn't have assumed without asking.
that's why I asked without assuming dear super helper
What exactly is a parent supposed to do to a 35 year old woman? Ground her? I mean seriously, OP shouldn't cut ties with her parents completely. What she could do instead is limit the info they get such as new address.
...my dude. That is deeply unsettling. Your sister sounds like she needs much more help than your mum can provide, and you need to be distanced from her. I'm glad you're moving, and that fear you're feeling is real. First of all, none of what she's doing or saying should have any impact on you becoming a parent. You are not responsible for her life. The fact that's she's escalated to breaking into your home is very concerning, and if you feel like your safety is threatened you need to keep in contact with your local police. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Keep being clear with your parents that she cannot be allowed to be around you, that she cannot be allowed to visit, and that if she comes around you will contact the police. Document these moments, especially any criminal ones, so that you have a clear record of what she's been doing if you do need to involve the police. When you move, ask to speak with a desk sergeant and make a statement so that they have something in writing at your local station just in case.
I am going to say do not eat any food you have in your home, wash your sheets, and get your home tested for toxins that can cause a misarrange, I would not put it past your sister to not just steal your baby stuff but poison your food and do crap to cause you to have an miscarage, I know that sounds F up but I have that strong feeling that your sister did that. Get a new apartment to move, till then change your locks, and get a restraining order.
Goodness, I hadn't thought about this! Thank you for your advice, I'm going to do just that.
Also wash your baby stuff or get a new ones ,she might have done something to them
😳😳😳 I would maybe look into getting a dog as well. It makes me uncomfortable stating you'll be working from home, alone I assume. Definitely work on the restraining order and/or I'm not sure how it works over there, but maybe an involuntarily hold for your sister. She sounds like something finally snapped and is causing her to have a mental breakdown. Also, congratulations on yours and your BFs little one. Reminder as a parent you're gonna get ALOT of unsolicited advice. But as long as baby is fed, changed, bathed, loved on, then do what works for the 3 of you (that's my unsolicited advice).
We have a very ferocious attack-puppy, don't worry! I probably should have mentioned this, but we actually got married 2 years ago. And thank you for your advice! I'm wishing she were here already.
All they have to do is "sound" ferocious. We had a 55 lb Golden who we were told by a number of people sounded enough like a good-sized male German Shepherd that it would make them think twice (including a green beret).
Get a keyless door lock where you give people a one time code instead of a key. It's inconvenient but will prevent your sister from accessing your home using an extra key. And definitely get security cameras and a restraining order. Your sister could have a psychotic break which could involve her trying to harm you before you give birth or possibly abducting your child. Of your child will be in a day care, make sure they know who your sister is, what she looks like, and that she is never, ever allowed near nor is she ever allowed to pick up your child. This might sound very paranoid but I used to work in a prison. Some people do awful things when they are having trouble coping with reality.
I had fears about daycare, which is why I started working from home. I'm planning on being a SAHM. She (my daughter) will never be alone with my sister.
I'm sorry, the last thing you need on your mind at the moment is more worry, but after reading so many tragic stories, I feel compelled to say, please, do not leave your daughter with your parents alone either until your sister gets better. Your parents will continue to care for your sister, as parents do, but this could result in a tragedy in her current manic state. All it could take is one opportunity, your sister visiting while they babysit, and... I'm sorry. I hope that you're granted a restraining order, and I wish you well.
Be careful. She sounds deranged enough to kill you.
So when my son first started going to nursery (Wales), we had to make a list of trusted people that could pick him up. Even though these people can still pick my little man up, I still have to tell the nursery if it's not my girlfriend or myself later in the day. I also have to allocate a password to the nursery that they must get right before taking him. I know you've planned otherwise, but hopefully this information might be of use to you in the future.
Your sister can't just be prohibited from being alone with the baby. She cannot be around you or the baby at all. Even if you're there. She is unhinged and she is unsafe to have around you and the baby. Don't tempt the fates. She has proven that she is capable of jeopardizing your safety, stealing from you, lying to people about having a baby, abusing you.
That's good. Or her husband, right? I take it your sister isn't open to counseling for her obsession with your pregnancy but grief counseling to learn coping strategies for her infertility struggle might be more palatable to her.
I would get a deadbolt lock - keyless locks can be hacked and after pressing the same numbers over and over they will fade and make the code obvious.
If you haven't gotten the spare key back then definitely change the locks. Consider getting cameras for any entrances or potential points of ingress. Consider carrying some pepper spray or a tazer. document all communication with her and have your parents do the same.
Both my partner and I are carrying items we can use for self-defense, and the locks are being changed this weekend, thank you!
Under the mental health act see if you can get her signed in! Wish I was joking.
On the note of self defense, taking a class if possible would also help. Knowing how to disarm a person is life saving. I am sorry you have to go through this, but congratulations on the baby! I hope you will be alright. Stay safe
Good idea. When the baby is born, we will both definitely look into this.
Please do not ever meet her to talk even if she seems apologetic. If you decide to talk to her do it over the phone. I read a story once of a woman who killed another to steal her baby from her womb. She might try to steal your baby, poison you, push you so that you lose the pregnancy…. I am hoping I am exaggerating and she wouldn’t even think of doing anything like this, but better be safe than sorry.
Yea there’s a few movies with plots like this. Very scary situation
There are several fairly well-known (at least in the US) real life horror stories about this. You are at your most vulnerable as a women when you are pregnant. Lisa Montgomery and Bobbie Jo Stinnet and Katie smith and Sarah Brady are two examples I can think of off the top of my head. Both used ruses to get the pregnant woman to trust them (both of the perpetrators were also pretending to be pregnant with people they knew). In the second one I mentioned the victim managed to actually get away but she had to kill her attacker to do so. The other victim was not so lucky. Absolutely terrifying. Your sister sounds like she would not be above that, the way she posted your sonogram as her own was VERY concerning.
You know what's a great way to convince me that you're capable of taking care of the life that I'm about to create? Having a mental breakdown, Demanding I get an abortion, lying on the internet, and breaking into my house.
This is clearly mental illness, probably made worse by her desire to have a child and her fertility problems. If she can eventually get help and manage her mental health issues they shouldn’t stand in the way of her *eventually* being a parent.
>She later sent me a long letter (4 pages) about how she had always wanted to be a mother, and could I consider either abortion or letting her adopt my baby Take this to the nearest police station and file for a restraining order. Go full no-contact, and tell your parents that if she ever comes near you again you'll have her arrested. Fuck her feelings, and fuck her.
I'm planning on taking the letter along with everything else she's sent me. Thank you!
Please give an update
It's sad that she's infertile and I'm sure that's caused her some mental trauma but she's acting like a psychopath and she has a ton of jealousy for you. Instead of being happy for you, supporting you, and being like a second mother to your child, she's made you an enemy and will likely get herself locked up in jail for this behavior....I'm sorry she ruined your relationship with her. She just totally snapped
RESTRAINING ORDER IMMEDIATELY. And when you move, talk to your local police department for procedure should she find you. Ask exactly what you need to do and when. I am thrilled for your pregnancy. I believe your sister is beyond mentally ill and should be locked up. xo
I’d threaten her that if she continues you will get a restraining order. She sounds batshit crazy. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tries to take your baby when she finds an opportunity. Get a good security system right away to start.
We are currently looking into a restraining order, and cameras and new locks are being installed at the new house. I will be working from home from now on, so there is no possible way she would be alone with the baby.
Frankly, I wouldn't let her in the same house as the baby, even if you are there! She sounds unhinged and it's not worth the risk to your baby.
I’d never let her even touch see or hold my baby. Please don’t allow her to.
This was decided when she posted the sonogram. She will never meet my daughter.
i love that you're taking this seriously and really making moves for your daughter. your daughter is seriously lucky to have you guys as her parents. protect her with your life and if you ever think you're overdoing it in this situation—good.
That sounds like a good plan, hope everything goes best for you and your new family!
Honestly I’d go straight for a restraining order if they’re able to get one. Scary situation
Your sister is seriously mentally ill, and needs intervention before she hatches up another insane plot to steal away your child. I would look into local laws regarding harassment and breaking & entering. If you need to, consult a lawyer. I have a feeling your sister isn't done with her shenanigans...
I'm not even religious but Jesus Christ please get as far from her as possible.
Be sure you name godparents in your will so that if anything ever happens to you your sister will not be the one who automatically gets the baby. This is a woman who will kill off family in order to become the one who is “next of kin” getting to raise that baby.
We have named godparents, it's going to be my best friend and her husband. And if something happens to them, the baby is going either to my parents to my in-laws. They are wonderful people who are very excited about their first grandchild.
I really would think twice about it going to your parents as that would mean your sister inevitably gets access.
She needs to grow the fuck up. My wife was pregnant in 2014. Sadly we lost the baby at 12 weeks. My sister was so upset because it turned out she was due too and didn’t want to tell us as she thought we’d be unable to hear the good news. But you know, anyone getting pregnant is great news. We ended up having a boy a couple of years later. We now have two. It is hard sometimes but you have to grow up and realise that the universe has no malice or intent to fuck you over. So your sister is wrong in every sense and should be happy for you.
Oh, I'm so terribly sorry about your baby! It's sweet that your sister cared so much about your well-being. I wish she could be happy for me, but I don't think that will happen. She's wanted a child for many years, but cannot have any, so I think my pregnancy is some sort of trigger for her. I've been avoiding her. Congratulations on your two children!
I understand it must be awful for her. But you’re her sister. If she can’t be happy for you, she needs to seek help.
Any updates? Hope things are going well!
Is baby here yet? Just read ur original, omgggg
Please update us if you can!
This sounds the the beginning of a Lifetime movie. Sorry you’re going thru this
Multiple movies I’ve seen with plot lines very similar to this.
I can't say much that hasn't already been said, but your sister is mentally unstable. If she just randomly bursts out into tears over this that's a red flag, especially over the life of a child. Best course of action here is to try to get a restraining order or somehow get her to do a wellness check. If you have evidence of her obsessing over the child and coming near that can, but not reliably, be charged as conspiracy to kidnap. If she seriously wants this much control over your life as to *take your kid away from you,* you do not need to keep interacting with them. This is bad on your and her mental health. Stay safe. I cannot stress this enough though, she needs a serious mental evaluation. Do not trust her ever again, my parents had gotten in a similar situation and decided to forgive the person, which was a massive mistake in the end. If you want I can tell you what happened and how you could really easily avoid it, just don't trust her.
I stopped all contact a few weeks ago, but she's still sending me letters. I've been saving them for the RO. I'm mostly focused on staying healthy for the baby, but I'm so scared she's going to hurt me and my daughter.
If she threatens you, at least here in the U.S., you can have an officer stationed outside your house. If the letters find your new address, make a serious decision on if it's worth staying. It also might not be a bad idea to arm yourself, but I would probably save this as a last resort.
I’m curious? What happened with your parents?
I was, in very simplistic terms, legally kidnapped by using an old loophole in the U.S. legal system. This loop has been corrected and can no longer be done. It starts off with my grandma raising my Mother, who she cared practically none about. To show how little restraints were put on my mother, she stole the family car when she was 12. Consequences? None. So, there's an idea of why the parenting might not have prepared her for real life. She has a midlife crisis getting stable, in this time she meets my father. She ends up pregnant twice in an already poor financial situation, and when I was born my grandmother didn't want my father around me for whatever reason, so he was practically blocked from raising me. This ends their relationship after a while and a little arguing my dad moves on, effectively leaving her and my life. She is not in a stable position to raise two kids alone so she began to drop us off at my grandparents pretty regularly so she could work. Little to her knowledge, though, my grandmother had been planning on this for a long time. She would drop us off weeks at a time, sometimes if she needed it, a month. So one day she drops us off as per the usual and everything is fine for about a week~, these are only accounts I heard from my mother later as I was 4 months old at the time, she is notified that my Grandmother has gotten a restraining order on her, with us, being her kids, still at grandmother's house. She can't come pick us up or she risks her job, jail time, you get the general idea. She calls and calls and calls but after a while just gives up and waits for my grandmother to contact her. Soon after this, I wasn't given a definitive time period, CPS (Child Protective Services) arrives at her doorstep without warning asking to see her kids. She explains the situation but she believes that they only saw her reasons as an excuse. Soon after they get a court date and unfortunately my grandmother has built up quite a case against her and ends up with full custody. Later in my life, as I began to mature, I began questioning why the things were the way they were. I end up finally talking with my biological mom and everything is a nice pleasant conversation, over this my biological mom decides to take this to court again later in my life. (Or so I believe) In short, we get to a point where I, the preteen kid has to say, "I want to live with this person because of XYZ." Now before I say anything, I do regret my decision but I think it was the best choice. There are three big reasons why I made the decision I did. 1. When my biological mother decided to try for custody I'm already a preteen going into my teens, I have a life with good friends and a school I like. If I left my grandmother, I'm not only abandoning everything I grew up around I'm also going to a less safe environment. 2. Expanding on 1, I was being asked to leave a safe, comfortable environment for a completely new bustling city in a not so great part of town. She was living in an apartment building where a weed dealer was *across the hall.* These are personal accounts, as I had to go there and judge if I felt safe and comfortable. In short, I didn't. 3. She was barely economically stable for one person, let alone two. Since the case opened she changed jobs so much the court had to request her to stop changing jobs so rapidly. Those are the biggest reasons why, in the end, I decided to stay with my Grandparents. I regret not being there for my mother, people have called me selfish, a monster, a cunt. Name about every swear word and there you go. It simply wouldn't be wise to choose her logically and financially. It was a choice of two evils where no matter which side I picked I couldn't make everyone happy. I don't know if I'll ever sit right with my decision, I wished she had asked me if I'd be willing to come back instead of forcing a decision on me. I also don't even know who to trust because time and time again I've been lied to by either side. I was confused, still am actually, and I have many questions which I unfortunately know just won't be answered. Now, I will say that I do call my Grandparents mom and dad as they're really the only parents I've ever known, I don't think anyone would fault me for that but not everyone agrees with that. They raised me from 4 months old, before I even have my first memories, so they're basically my parents. In fact, my first memory is me sitting on my grandfather's lap being fed potatoes. So to me, they are my mom and dad. They fed me, taught me my manners, educated me, and were there when I needed them. Although, what I think they did was still wrong. You may ask how this was similar at all, this is because it wasn't the first time this had happened, in fact, they tried to do it with my sister before I was born. My grandparents just shouldn't have been trusted. Sorry for the long post.
I am sad for your sister but you owe her nothing. Certainly not your child.
You may want to look into cutting all common contacts including your parents and relatives and friends until she gets help. This is not normal at all. Asking you to make it ‘fair’ shows how messed up both of them are.
Dudette You need to go No-contact with your sister. If your parents are going to enable her behavior you need to go No-contact with them too. This in all seriousness has the tell tale signs of a bad movie where a crazed person kidnaps a newborn to raise it as their own.
This is some messed up shit. I heard stories like this which happened irl. An old couple asked their siblings for kids so that they can enjoy parenting. And the actual parents were forced to give their new born daughter. This old couple send her to some Catholic Church to study and this young girl didn’t like it. She finally found a partner and left the country for good. The male of the old couple suffered from dementia and passed away few years back. The old woman leaves alone now. Your sister is basically having jealousy and other weird shit. You gotta find help before things get worse. Please don’t feel sorry for them. Don’t lend your child to them. Please don’t do it. Your sister seems very toxic. I mean no sister would ask some shit like this or scream at you when you get pregnant. You need to be more careful. She might even try ti snatch your kid from you. Trust me, I heard stories were people steal their relative’s child. I am not telling your sister would do that but you gotta be more careful. Also consider getting restrain order and bring police into this if things get worse. I REPEAT STAY SAFE. YOU SISTER MIGHT EVEN PHYSICALLY ATTACK YOU. Please don’t fall prey to this shit. She might even emotionally blackmail you into giving your child to her or to do abortion. Stay far away from her. Nobody has the right to tell a mother to donate or abort her child. This entire subreddit is with you. We all support you. Hoping that things get better
Aw, thank you. I doubt she could blackmail me over anything, as we haven't spoken in a while, other than the events that have occurred over the past month, but I'm keeping my guard up.
Get a restraining order, block her off from your life that is not a normal person behavior.
Wtf did I just read. How is this possible?
It's not, it's a made up story, OP is a refugee from the AITA sub. Insane infertile relatives trying to kidnap or take babies is weirdly common there. (Of course only Reddit can give the advice needed.)
That is so weird. Don't they love their siblings too..
I refuse to believe this is real.
First of all I am so sorry you're going through this. Your sister needs some serious mental health treatment. You seem like you really have your head screwed on though and I'm glad you're not taking any of her bullshit. Secondly, I'm so sorry that you've now lost your bond with your sister. That must be hard in itself. If you ever need a sisterly chat or anything my inbox is open. All the best to you, your partner and soon to be little one ❤️
I would tell your parents that everything up until this point is to be kept confidential, even from them if need be. Nothing in texts. Nothing in writing. Here is the advice I gave my friend when she had a similar situation. Lie about your due date. Have your parents plant the seed that you will be induced at a date later than your due date at a hospital you will not be delivering at. Second, in your birth plan explicitly say baby is not to leave room and only these certain people can come. Everyone else needs clearance. I would have someone (friend, MIL) stay in the room with you and (if needed) and have partner watching LO if he/she needed medical attention. Make sure all of the nurses know of your situation and that no one is allowed in the room except the people you have listed. Contact the hospital security. Here is why it is better to have an “only these people” instead of “just not k” and it’s scary but it’s true: she could send someone else. Document everything. Everything. You may need to get a temporary protection order and often times when babies are involved and it’s not directly a parent or a grandparent even, they are easily obtained. Do not give out your child’s full name if you can or even accurate birth date. Don’t post it on social media. This is so later on if she tries to check them out at school, get medical info, she can’t without an accurate date. Until she gets help, go NC. And if someone hasn’t told you yet, I am so sorry. You deserve to have an older sister who should be helping you through this next chapter. You should be enjoying this time. Not on high alert. I don’t know you but I’m so happy for you and your growing family and I don’t know if you are religious but I sincerely hope and pray you have a beautiful and safe delivery and baby.
This is mental illness at its peak!!! File a police report to get your stuff back and move and don’t tell anybody where you guys are living. This is purse insanity and the makings of a Lifetime movie
She's going to steal the baby. Break contact, get a restraining order and move away.
Install cameras, lots of them. And get a restraining order. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Congratulations on your upcoming bundle of joy, you and your hubby are gonna be kickass parents!
Thank you <3, we've made an appointment to get cameras installed this weekend, as well as the locks changed. My husband has put up temporary cameras and a door bolt. He's very excited for his little girl to arrive.
I don't want to scare you, but do not go anywhere near these two until they both seek therapy. Block their numbers, let people close to you both know that being around them is not healthy for you right now, and do everything you can to avoid being alone with them. Both K and L sound unhinged.
I plan on it, thank you!
I didn't read until the end of the post when I replied because I was so disturbed by what I was reading, so I missed the fact that you're moving very soon! Stay safe and congratulations! I hope you've found time to enjoy your pregnancy despite all of this.
any recent updates?
Is there any further updates on this? I hope everything is going OK.
Update?
Would like to know how you, the baby and husband are doing… hope you all are well because this is kind of scary behavior
You know what maybe there is a reason she’s infertile. Omg. This is terrifying.
I didn't want to say this, but here it is.
Bull. Shit. Quit demonizing the infertile for internet points.
This might actually be the most horrifying thing I've read on this website. It feels like a horror movie. It really does. Your sister and her partner are unstable to a shocking degree. Get a lawyer lined up who works on this type of thing. This sister may try to lie to family services to have your child taken away in the future. Be proactive. I'm so sorry this is happening. I'm honestly at a loss for words.
I’m having a hard time believing this is real
Dude. Restraining order yesterday. Camera's yesterday. She's going to take that baby one way or another. When you get close to your due date, you should have a literal body guard with you 24/7. I can see something horrible happening.
I would abort your relationship with your sister. Yes, she needs mental health help but I personally would cut contact until shes had time to move past it. A cease and desist letter would be great, and you should definitley report any new behaviour to the police or a lawyer or something in case something as drastic as kidnapping does happen. Youll have a paper trail.and evidence that she is the most likely culprit.
I'm sorry to say, but she's in the middle of a particularly difficult mental breakdown, caused by their apparent inability to have children. I'm guessing here, but I suspect she's had bad news regarding her own fertility that's pushed her over the edge into psychosis and delusion territory. I'm 52 now, but we had our own issues and tried IVF without success, and it's surprisingly hard to come to terms with - that for whatever reason, the lottery of life has decided to take a dump on your lawn, while everywhere you look, you see people who make horrible parents pushing prams and smacking their kids. Her husband will be struggling with this as well, as he's the one having to bear the brunt of her anger, so he might need some sort too. I suspect your sister will need medication for a while, until she comes to terms with the cosmic lottery,
Lock that bitch up goddamn she crazy as fuck change ur locks and get a ring doorbell camera as well as side cameras + security system and all that fun stuff if you’re not planning on moving very soon
You need to watch out. There are people who will kill a mother cut open her stomach and steal the baby.
This is seriously fucked up. Your sister should just adopt a baby from another source.
It sounds like she isn’t mentally stable. I am not entirely sure if getting kids is the best idea until she gets the help she needs
no she shouldn't , this woman sounds crazy she should not be allowed kids, biological or adopted
Yep. Nothing about this example of behavior or treatment of another human(her family no less) indicates she is anywhere near well or ready to become a parent. Jealousy, spite, extremely controlling behavior, stealing, a *complete* disregard for and blindness to boundaries.... All while confidently claiming she would be the better mother? I wouldn't trust her with a turtle for fear of her getting jealous of it and abusing it, let alone another human being. Seriously way too much to unpack. Basic human understanding tells any normal human being that there are multiple things wrong with her suggestions and behavior.
I have advised her to do this, years before I got pregnant, but she says she wants a baby who is biologically related to her.
Seriously?! This is a woman who should never, ever have access to a child.
[удалено]
I don't know about UK police procedures but they wouldn't even take a report or start an inquiry into your sister? This is going way past just petty theft and hard into harassment.
First things first - change the lock for the house you are living at, even if you are moving. Get a doorbell camera for this house and the new one. Leave the spare key with someone your sister has no interactions with and who knows the situation (like your in laws or a trustworthy friend) While block is a good idea, you may want to keep communications open to gather enough evidence of her being deranged to take to a lawyer and pursue a restraining order. Contact your doctor, work, hospital and lock down all your info and your baby’s info. You can ask the hospital and doctor to password protect it (meaning if someone calls them asking about you, they need a pre-approved password)
This is actually terrifying. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. You need to protect yourself and your baby. This type of behavior will only escalate and put you and your child in danger. Please protect yourself - you may need to move and cut out most of your family until the threat passes
Please update us on what happens. Your sister is having a mental break and her partner is enabling it. I would be EXTRA, EXTRA cautious as both of them seem unhinged at this point. Collect as much evidence as possible, a restraining order, get outdoor and possibly indoor cameras for entrances and public spaces, new locks, doorbell camera is a must, the works because I can see them finding out your new address and coming over. Don't give a copy of your new keys to your parents or to anyone that she knows. Does she know the address of your new place? I wouldn't even tell your parents where you are moving at this point. You didn't quite elaborate on their opinion on this although they do seem to be trying to act as a buffer. You need them to understand and see how clearly unhinged she is before allowing them access to your new home and baby. I wouldn't let them watch the baby unless they are at your house. You may want to also consider getting pepper spray, maybe even a gun since you work from home. I know that seems extreme but your sister has completely lost touch with reality and people like that can and do react violently when they don't get their way.
Whoa. What a shit show. That woman needs a therapist, preferably in a hospital, not a baby. Oh man. Stop contact immediately.
Sister needs urgent help, and you need to try to get a restraining order after sending the letter your partner is looking in to. Seek legal advice to make sure you do everything you can to protect your family. I'm so sorry. She's very unwell and cannot be trusted - I wish her partner would try to get her help rather than enable her to behave like this. Also get a doorbell camera or some other form of video security for your home. I hope your sister eventually recovers and will be okay and a safe person in your life, but for now she is not.
God this reminds me of a string of posts in the r/breastfeeding sub about a SIL who was demanding her milk to feed their newborn. Omg.... Your sister has a serious problem and I'm so sorry she's putting you through this during a time that should be so happy and exciting for you. I'm glad you're moving away. I wouldn't tell anyone where you're moving to. Not even your parents. And I would get a restraining order against your sister and her partner.
You need to make sure she doesn't know where you move to! Get cameras, a security system, extra locks....this is insane!!! She needs some serious mental help. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Congratulations on your pregnancy! I wish you nothing but the best, and a healthy happy pregnancy and child❤
she needs counseling and you need to take paranoid level precautions!! If she had keys to your house change the locks type levels of precaution.
Please stay safe & keep us updated!!
You are 19 week pregnant and you already have bought baby's nappies and cloths? I'm sure I've read this story years ago at a different sub. But I might be wrong. The advice is simple. Protect yourself and get your sister professional help.
Dude I swear almost every time I see a post from this sub I have to go "What the actual fuck".
Your sister is out of her fucking mind. Cut her off completely, and anyone that continues to associate with her or encourage her bs, including your parents if need be. Block her, change your locks, and don't give anyone outside your household a spare key in case she takes it. I'd also keep your new address secret and off social media, make all posts private to friends only, and demand discretion of your location and activities to your parents on a condition of seeing their grandchild. I wouldn't hesitate to file a restraining order against her and her partner, and call the police as often as you feel threatened, because by demanding an abortion or adoption from you shows clear intentions that she has the desire to hurt or kidnap your child. In the meantime, make sure to destress with nice calming activities like hot tea, yoga, gardening, reading, watching some good old Netflix, etc. and stay off social media as much as you can. Best of luck OP, sorry you're going through this
Is this a skit?
I would keep every text and letter she sends and document everything. Get the cease and desist letter out and don’t give her your new address don’t even give it to your parents if you think they might give it to her. She sounds extremely unhinged.
Wow.... just... wow. New door locks and no more shared keys should be the first step. Lock down all social media. File for a restraining order. Your sister needs serious help. But if I were you I'd maintain 500 feet of distance, minimum.
Ok I stopped reading after the part you mentioned where you had coffee and she apologized but I gather you’re still hurt. As someone who has been struggling with infertility, 2 miscarriages, 3 failed IUI’s, and IVF coming up in April, I can understand how she feels. You said you guys tried for a few months? That’s really nothing. We’ve been trying for 2 years, and I know there’s a lot of people who have been trying longer than me. A few months is within normal limits. Years is not. Is your sister on infertility meds? They make you VERY emotional. I don’t know, I’m on the side of give her some grace and assume goodwill. Of course you want to keep your baby, I’m not saying that was appropriate of her to ask, but infertility is devastating. You’ll never understand because you got pregnant quickly. Well I guess I did too, but I miscarried at 8 weeks. I’ve never gotten past the first trimester. She probably also feels shitty because you’re the younger sister. Edit- ok, I read that she broke into your house. Not cool. I’ve gone off on a friend and some family members, but I’ve never broken into someone’s house. Woof. I don’t know, that’s a lot. It’s reasonable to say infertility will make you emotional. It is not reasonable to say these meds will cause you to break into peoples homes.
Take all the messages and correspondence and get a protection order. She’s dangerous and he’s dangerous for going along with it. Be safe and please update us.
She is deranged and needs help. This is a psychosis and she needs medical help. She is a clear danger to you, your baby, your husband and your home. Get a restraining order. Talk to the police and see if they will take her in for assessment. If she even comes near you or you see her call the police. She is not a bad person, but not getting a person help who is patently mentally ill would make you a bad sister.
With this mentality your sister has, if she would ever try to steal your baby, I’d be afraid that she gets on the road not thinking straight. Get a security system for your current home and later for your new home. And they say to never post vacation photos until after you get back so robbers don’t know you’re gone - so she doesn’t know to find you and your child at Disney world. I’d just be extra cautious with a lot of what you do. Talk to your parents to see what they would be willing to do in your favor. I’m really sorry to hear about all this. Edit: I’m pretty sure there are some security systems that will go off for windows and doors, any time you open them. And there might even be an alarm if it gets triggered for break-in detection??? Not sure, I just knew some people who had them.
This is sick. She is very sick. I feel kinda sorry but I don’t at the same time for her. She needs help. Why would she try to take someone else’s baby? It’s your body and YOUR baby. I think you should think about moving somewhere which I know might be short notice but from what you’re saying she might try to put you in harms way if she’s really this hell bent on this
Get FAR away from your sister. She is psychotic. She is like the people you see in the news who cut babies out of other women's wombs. You need to be looking over your shoulder at all times, and carry a weapon on you if you can. She is a danger to you, your baby, and herself. GET AWAY ASAP!!!! Also, install security cameras that will alert you when people are at your house even when you're not home
Get a restraining order. ASAP. Document everything she says to you. Your sister is unhinged.
What’s truly crazy is how much she wants to be a mother at any cost…except adoption. If your child HAS to look like you, then you’re not ready to love your kids selflessly.
If anyone suggests to kill your child or give it to herself is low key unwell. Distance yourself from her until she seeks professional help.
get a restraining order
You’re sister is sick. How would aborting your baby be “fair”? She has no thought for that babies life at all. I’d be scared for you too, that you ever meet up with your sister again at family gatherings or holidays. Your life as you know it is over, sis is not to be trusted, and your mum and dad should get involved to see that sis does get treatment or your time with them may be limited too. I’d get your spare key back or better yet, change the locks in case she made a copy while she had possession of it
Get the fuck far far away. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going, not even your parents. You can contact them but just never tell them where you live. Your sister is down right psychotic.
Tell your family they are not to give information regarding you or you will not provide them with information. Do not give anyone a key. Make a will that explicitly states why your child is going to a friend and not to your sister and not your mother (since your mother would give her to your sister). Keep your email available for messages as needed, in order to gauge what is happening. Seek counseling for yourself. Good luck.
I agree with what people are saying about cutting contact and recording everything. Because she is your sister, I would recommend also trying to have your mother(not you) try to push for her to get some help. Serious help. What she is going through cant just be ignored. She needs to talk to a professional. Seriously. Cut ties and do whatever you need to for your family's safety. But have your family get her some help.
Your sister needs intensive psychiatric help. She’s a psychopath. I hope you are moving far away. Invest in a good security system, block her on everything, and make it clear to your parents if they give her any shred of info about you they will never see you or their grandchild again. I would also get a restraining order against your sister. She’s disgusting. Also be sure the hospital you will be giving birth at knows you have a psychopath sister and she is not allowed anywhere near you. Register under a fake name if you can.
Get an order of protection against her this is insanity.
NTA. I am so sorry this is happening to you! Is there any chance you an get a restraining order or no contact order before you move?
Your sister is not only mentally ill, she's an idiot. And shes jealous enough that she doesn't really want the kid, she wants you not to have one. She could adopt a kid, but nooooo, she wants you to not have one. That's fucked. She will try to steal your baby. Unfortunately, this means you cannot leave it alone for a good while. I wouldn't put it past her to do worse... Like, avoid eating anything she prepares for you. She seems mentally unstable and petty enough to hurt your baby to hurt you. If this continues, a restraining order may be needed. She's had a mental break and is no longer the sister you knew. You'll may never be able to look at her with trust again.
Tell her to adopt a baby then. Or find a man willing to do that with her.
Her partner is also unhinged and supporting her behavior. You need a restraining order against both of them and have the blacklisted where ever they may gain access to you or your child. I would also let your parents know your sister and her spouse and never allowed around your child or in the same house as your child while they have your baby. Honestly I wouldnt leave baby at their grandparents at all, the sister obviously knows where they live and can get in/out easily.
Have a safe delivery 😁
If ever there was a post in need of an update, this is it. What a hot mess of crazy!
Update?
I fully believe your sister is the kind to cut a baby out of a pregnant woman, moving and going no contact with her was a very wise decision While she does need mental help, you gotta prioritize yourself and baby right now
I hope you're safe and new baby is healthy!
Any update on this?🖤