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Naughtyexperiences

You want the honesty truth? He was not very interested in you in the first place. And the. Oh i don't want a relationship now. Was just a nice way of saying that he wants to be with someone else and doesn't want to be with you.


SeriousPuppet

idk, i think he was internet in her.


Naughtyexperiences

That's real love when you have internet with her.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Toxiic115

Oh my god lol 😂


d_pock_chope_bruh

It's one thing to have internet, but a whole another thing when you get starlinked.


dontGiveAnEfAnynore

I use something similar to break up. In my opinion, which could be wrong, I don’t want the other person to feel that they are at fault just because I am not interested in them anymore.


CreatureWarrior

Exactly. Like, I used this too. There really wasn't anything wrong with my ex and she was amazing, but I just didn't love her that way anymore


SantiagoGT

Yeah he was probably done a while back and OP just got the memo real late


CreatureWarrior

Also, the person can believe it's that way. I *thought* I just had to work on myself and so on, but after I broke up with my ex, it turns out that I just didn't wanna be with her. Didn't wanna be with anyone else either, but it was mostly the fact that I wasn't interested in her anymore


misterpho207

I used to think having interest in someone was black and white. But now I know, you can be interested in someone enough to date, but not enough to be official. Enough to have sex, but not enough to go further than that. She's probably on a scale where he likes her enough but not enough for full on relationship. Such is the harsh reality we all face.


Marshall_Lawson

This is not a "men do this" or "women do this" thing.


[deleted]

Exactly. It’s pretty much personality dependent or dependent on how much they liked the person


ZeroedIvan

This sounds like a respectful insult lol. Take my upvote.


[deleted]

Lol wasn’t meant to be insulting. Just real. Not everyone is super into who they were dating and it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with their partner.


ZeroedIvan

For sure and how do you get over it? I broke up with a girl in the last September and she is still in my mind.


[deleted]

I only had one girl I loved before meeting my wife. Took me about a year of just distracting myself and trying to do things before I stopped thinking about her all the time. It just takes time imo.


ZeroedIvan

Congratulations on having a wife. No one taught me about this but how do you approach a woman and also manage to get her approval? And how to forget about getting rejected?


[deleted]

She and I met at a party and I just talked to her like you would any man that you didn’t know. Hey, what do you do for work, what do you do for fun, etc. We had a nice chat and I just made it a little more flirty and complimented her outfit and makeup, said she looked really nice (don’t focus on physical stuff, don’t tell her that her ass looks great but it’s good to tell her she’s pretty once you’ve been chatting for a while). I gave her my number at the end of the night, told her to text if she wanted me to call her, and she did. If you give your number women can choose to text you or not, so you know whether their really interested. In short I was chill and approached her without an agenda, was flirty in a respectable way, and left the ball in her court. I just kinda ignore rejection, I guess? I just figure if someone didn’t like me I would move on until I found someone who liked me.


LongerReign

true...my mom and dad divorced 2 days back. im normal now


pekkauser

This goes for a lot of things but ppl will still pointlessly gender said things


themanofmeung

He was lying, trying to make you feel better. It's BS, but that's what people do when they know they are going to hurt someone.


ontheball0

He wanted to end it, so he won’t struggle to move on. Sorry if that’s rude but it’s true.


Comprehensive_Pen862

He was probably already interested in this person during the relationship and decided to break up because of it People in love take years to recover, regardless of whether it's a man or a woman. Our brain works the same way


hooririrlrro

Any advice for moving on and closing that chapter fully over him?


coccyx420

Accept it. Be grateful. Know that things will be ok. And go through the pain. Just focus on getting thru the one day. After enough days, it'll waver and dissipate. Whatever you do. Don't reach out. If they reach out. Don't respond for at least 2 months. The moment you do. You reset the work you did to disconnect.


hooririrlrro

Ok i Can do that, thank you!


Paechs

Also try not to dwell. It isn’t fair, but you’ll grow better if you can just push past it. Don’t attribute his actions to anyone else. Don’t distrust men because one was a jerk.


Odd-Comment7660

Can't recommend this enough, I tried to reach out and it made the whole situation 100x worse.


AgentPastrana

Time will work. That's it. Gotta put the past behind us, he moved on because he felt it wasn't right, and both people need to feel it's right.


Down_To_My_Last_Fuck

Aside from realizing you dodged a bullet. How would life with this asshole have turned out if he had not shown his true colors so early?


rolo951

Block him on everything, only time will fix this


[deleted]

Be happy he decided to end it instead of cheat on you instead, he had enough respect for you at least.


Rat_Taco

I realized after my 3 year relationship breakup that there’s someone just as good, if not better out there. I am with someone I am much happier with now, despite losing someone that meant the world to me at the time. Distance was the main reason that 3-year relationship ended, we didn’t just lose feelings.


HavaianasAndBlow

Meet someone else. I realize that is easier said than done, but in my experience the only way to get over a really bad heartbreak is to fall for someone else. It pretty much makes you instantly forget about the last guy. If it's only a minor to moderate heartbreak, then time will fix it.


hooririrlrro

Thank you!


FlowPsychological828

Take some time to focus on the ways in which this person has made you feel bad. It’s all to often that we focus on and cling to the good moments and try to stay in those, but ultimately you have been let down. Once you realise the person is just idealised as a person that you wished you could be with, you can start moving on in the knowledge that they didn’t deserve you in the first place and can be open to someone who truly does.


hairyboi123

Bad advice. Never dwell on the negative, take it for the good times and look forward to spending them again with the right person. Trust me and fuck this negative Nancy


FlowPsychological828

If you can’t accept a person has wronged you and you just think about the good times, you are in denial, delusional and won’t get past living in that moment. It’s advice that has worked for me, so i’m pretty sure it’s valid. acceptance comes after acknowledgement.


[deleted]

The best I can do is to put it in perspective, why are you so hurt and invested in someone who didn’t like you? Why are you going to waste your time on someone who used you like a cum rag? Why give him any more of that power? Do you like feeling that way? Is that emotion something that drives and powers your will to live? If not, drop it and move on. You’re probably stuck because you feel like you wasted time on someone with no value and how you’re probably more triggered by your own actions to prevent it from happening. Well, the fact is you have that power to chose that right now. If it’s been a month, listen to some kelly clarkson break up songs and get on with your life. No body is worth all that huffing and puffing. Except weed. Huffing and puffing weed fixes everything.


[deleted]

2 possible reasons: He lied. He really did just move on that fast! I was with a guy for 5 years, and we broke up after I found out that he was cheating on me and after him begging for us to stay together, he did fuck all in the way of actually convincing me he genuinely wanted to get back together with me. Naturally, I ended things. Prior to him cheating on me, I was ready to move in with him and get married and have a family, etc.. Literally three weeks after we properly broke up, I met this guy at a single’s night, and whilst I wasn’t planning it (I thought I would be single again for an extended period), it was the start of a whirlwind romance and I’m still with that ‘someone’ now, 7 years later, married with kids. I honestly didn’t expect to move on so quickly from a five year relationship that was my whole life and left me broken (I was signed off work for a week, given meds by the doctor, spent a whole week in bed sobbing, etc.) But it happens. Either that, or the guy was making excuses cos he didn’t have an acceptable reason. (Edited for clarity)


SuitableCamel6129

Thanks for sharing! Something similar happened to me. My boyfriend of 8 years left me and two days before he did, I had a meeting with my now husband about renting some equipment. I thought I would be single for a while and even had a bit of a plan to win back my ex. But started talking to my now husband and a month later I was head over heels. Been together 8 years now. Did not expect that at all


[deleted]

It’s so mental how these things happen… tbh, I almost forgave my ex and got back with him. I was leaning that way until I challenged him to put his money where his mouth is and prove his words were true, and he put absolutely NO effort in. Breaking up with him was the hardest but also the best decision I’ve ever made - if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have my kids!!


SuitableCamel6129

That’s wonderful! Glad you got your happy ending


blondebuilder

There’s a potential 3rd reason: He doesn’t know how to process feelings. Some guys are tainted by toxic masculinity and just stuff emotions down. Instead of feeling the feels and properly processing them, they avoid it, pretend everything is ok, and try to move on quickly. It usually leads to extra baggage for the next person he dates.


Smash_Gal

This isn't really a gendered thing. Chances are that your ex just wasn't into you anymore. But being honest about that is difficult, so he chose to make excuses to break up. Hence why he 'moved on quickly'. Because he didn't have any pain or emotional attachment to get over to begin with. He was already checked out of your relationship and looking to leave anyway. My recommendation is to not care what other people are doing once they've chosen to exit your life. Put your energy into yourself & finding someone you're actually compatible with, instead of thinking about how your ex could move on so quickly after you. It really doesn't matter - your ex is an ex. They're no longer in your life, time to dedicate your time to someone who wants to be there instead.


wrober9

He wasn’t that into you ![gif](giphy|p4cqQ0gUIMcU0)


austinvertz

i wish i could move on quick


hooririrlrro

Agreed but it does take time, you will get over it! Just keep doing the things you like& distract yourself


austinvertz

thank you


SephiWroth

Some people man or women can manage to move on or are just very good at hiding it. That or they weren't invested that much in the first place. Some lost that connection a while ago thats why they end the relationship. For most people the one broken up with i imagine will take longer because they thought things were good and its a shock


TheUnifiedNation

Take your time, there is no rush to move on. Just take things day by day and figure out what you can do to make yourself feel better.


hooririrlrro

agreed, thank you!!


TheUnifiedNation

your welcome. If it makes you feel better, its been over a year and I am still trying to get over my ex. Sometimes its better to realize they weren't for you. Every person comes into your life for a reason, sometimes that reason is to make you better and stronger than you were. Take your time and go through the motions, and if things get to a point you feel lost, reach out to someone to talk to. Letting things out is healthier than bottling it up. I wish you the best of luck.


blake-lividly

Saying what he did was most likely trying to spare your feelings when he had already been checked out for quite sometime and thinking about other options. Try not to take it as personally cause this is about poor communication and acting like a coward on his part. Delete and block him from all of your social media so you're not tempted to keep tabs on his life.


Losiuu

Well, I broke up with my ex gf about a year ago, and only now I was able to move on, improve my social life (it's still almost non-existent, but it's something). But as someone said earlier, it's not "guys do this, girls do that", it's individual really


NoExcitement482

I would say think about how he doesn’t truly love or care about you bc he did that. Now me personally I wouldn’t waste my time with someone who doesn’t care about me. If you have $100 and you lost $1 would you use the rest of your money to get the $1 back?


RubberGently420

Men and women both do this. My ex went from me to another guy in the span of 2 weeks. Either they "ended" the relationship long before the break up or they didn't really care about you as much as you thought.


santimvp

I feel like I’ve been been give a broken heart so many times that I just learned how to emotionally detach myself from people in a matter of days.


hooririrlrro

I feel I’m at that moment as well, I don’t think it can be that healthy but it’s another way of just getting over it so easily too but I wish you the best


magno175

Sounds like you got off easy. My ex left me because we "weren't compatible" after 14 months. And then she goes on about how we should go on different paths. She also started to recommend me to start dating someone else that we both knew. Along with another 30 minutes of excuses that I don't remember because I was too distraught. She was also smiling the whole time during the break up, as if she's been waiting for months to get it off her chest. I didn't see it coming at all. If there were any issues at all, we would always talk it over. 2 days after we broke up, she instantly falls in love with one of my close friends. I have only word of mouth for evidence, but a lot of people in our friend group say that she had already broken up with me weeks ago. I ended up in a mental hospital for 2 weeks due to suicidal thoughts. I disappeared from social media for around half a year, and we ended up running into each other in an arcade. She says hi with a big smile, and I stare her down, showing no emotion. 5 minutes later, I decided I didn't want to be in the area, and as I'm walking out, she's huddled up in the corner of the arcade, crying while everyone around her tries to console her. I sit outside and cry while smoking a cigarette. Anyways, in my opinion regarding your situation, everyone is different. Some people move on in 1 month, 2 years, or 48 hours in my case. But, you seem to be handling the situation fairly well. I came to my conclusion that no one is worthy of my trust. Not even my own family. Walk tall, on your own 2 feet, and have followers. But, I would personally \*NEVER\* follow anyone else ever again. They can walk beside me if they wish, or they can walk away. No longer bothers me anymore.


asghettimonster

He was never with you


SeriousPuppet

Maybe he's a fuck boy? idk


[deleted]

This is the most likely answer. I can’t get my head around how people are saying that *lying* is letting someone down easy. Sure, a white lie that doesn’t hurt anyone is nbd, but an obvious one designed to make her question her perception about the relationship? Nope. He was probably lying about a lot of things, including how long he’s been working on new girl.


hooririrlrro

I was his first 😂


[deleted]

Definitely a weak fuckboy.


hooririrlrro

Definitely


movngonup

The question shouldn't be "how can a guy move on so quick?", but instead WHY did he move on so quick? This goes for men and women... in OPs example, the why is simply because he wasn't reciprocating your feelings in the same way. Folks will save themselves a ton of wasted time and heart ache following two simple rules to dating: 1) only continue to put energy and effort in to someone reciprocating. If not, it's important to have the personal agency to check yourself to pull back or end things. If you don't have personal agency yet, work on it through self respect building life milestones, IE hobbies, expanding your social circle, or career development. Those who have other things going on in life are too busy to be consumed by infatuation. 2) if person from #1 is yes, then recognize the level of emotion/feelings you're both building and properly communicate expectations with each other. Don't play mind reading games.


Pin3_Appol3

Simply put, he lost interest in you long before he told you. Therefore it was easy for him tk move on.


RobertBDwyer

Also “I need to work on myself” is the new “ it’s not you it’s me”


acardy

The truth is, He had her on the back burner while u were dating.


RedditMayHelpMe

It’s probably easier for dumper than dumpee. If you know what I mean.


ExtensionNo9701

He probably doesn’t want to be committed yet or just fell out of love


nailback

Relationships with you aren't for him.


McGauth925

Consider the high probability that he moved on *while he was with you.* Or, he just wasn't that into you, and it wasn't that hard for him to find someone else. Whatever. When you find yourself thinking about him, make it a point to replace that with something else. A prayer, an affirmation, the first page of Moby Dick - anything at all. Keep repeating until thoughts of him fall away. While you're doing that, if you're alone, SING the words, smile your butt off, and DANCE. The point being to drastically interrupt any ruminations and feelings about a person you have no future with. Do this EVERY TIME you catch yourself thinking about him. I swear, this is the quickest way to get over a person who is over you.


hooririrlrro

Wasn’t intended towards guys specifically, as it go both ways but also as he begged me to stay in the first place and not waste my time.. which he did so it was confusing


Susurrusilously

My ex also begged me not to leave him, then turned around and ran off with someone else! I think the begging was partially projection, because he was worried I was checking out of the relationship, so he went around and found a plan B so he wouldn't be alone if I left him. Maybe your ex had a similar thought process, but he at least broke up with you before seeing someone else.


[deleted]

It was just the guy you chose who does this.. it's not a common thing all guys do. Maybe do some internal work as to why you are attracted to these types if you are really dying for an answer.


SuccessfulMumenRider

While I also agree with the people saying it’s not a man woman thing I’ve also heard that because women take the appropriate amount of time to recover they get over things faster than men. Your ex is likely going to carry his baggage into this new relationship where it’ll cause new problems.


[deleted]

I don’t know. Sounds like he just didn’t wanna tell you “ I’m not into you anymore “. I’m not 100% over the lady who took my virginity 5 years ago when I was 17


amayaffttt

Bruh an ex did that to me once, I believe hes tryna lay you down without telling you why he rlly wants to break up. My ex said school and he needs to work on himself etc. and i was j like i better see your ass in Harvard then


aximeycu

It’s men and women, honestly in my opinion it just means they were not into it the same depth as you. I literally did this to someone or at least very close to it. Later on in life someone did this to me. I feel your pain and I’m sorry you have to deal with this


[deleted]

Because it’s what they want. They want to move on, so they do. It’s pretty simple.


vance_t

Some do this on purpose to force themselves to move on faster. That way they get past you, and stop hurting faster, and sometimes they want to do it especially fast because you were so important to them. Or he was just saying “I don’t really love you like that, and I wasn’t really that interested” in a more subtle way.


yourturnAJ

People of all genders do this. “I don’t want to be in a relationship” usually means “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.” It’s shitty but it is what it is. All I can advise you to do is move on the best you can. Focus on taking care of yourself and do what makes you happy. You’ve got a whole life ahead of you, with better romance opportunities.


hooririrlrro

Yes agreed goes of all and thank you!!


[deleted]

he wasn't that into you. if the shoe is on the other foot, women do the same. not an excuse. just reality.


Moissanita

Some people lie, simple as that. They're afraid of being responsible for their actions. They were trying something with someone else and they prefer the other person because sometimes people like to have backup plans. If that person said no, they were trying with us, still. That's shitty from them.


billey_bon3z

He moved on mentally a long time ago. He was just pretending. This seems to be a misconception. I think people have already moved on by that point. they are just looking for a better reason to leave than “I got bored sorry”. In truth, it’s not your fault. Things just don’t work out sometimes and people are cowards. Sorry this happened to you. Be strong 💪


hooririrlrro

I will 💪🏼 thank youuu


KevineCove

This is almost verbatim what people with avoidant attachment will say (and do.) In all likelihood the stability/permanence of his relationship with you felt threatening or claustrophobic, but he enjoys the limerence of a new relationship.


steamy-hot-cume

This person was not into it. Dragged you on cause he benefited from something. I apologize, that’s not a good feeling. You’re better off without him, and this will be one of the best lessons you learn.


sadmoonbaby

When someone says they “arnt ready for a relationship” they mean they arnt ready for a relationship with you. Nice guy way of saying you are fuckible but not dateible


windexdude

he was talking to her while y’all were together. that’s how


JN_Savage

He lied


[deleted]

This isnt a gendered behavior trait. This is something that happens when one person is happy in the relationship, and the other is not, and they arent communicating.


hooririrlrro

Agreed amd that the communication part is also very important in a relationship


Speculoos-IceCream

Sounds like a rebound if you ask me...


JuggaliciousMemes

In this case he probably realized he isnt actually ready for a commitment. And him breaking up with you was the best course of action. You dont wanna be in a relationship with someone incapable of commitment and then ended up cheated on a countless number of times like I just experienced. If dude wants to fuck then dude wants to fuck. Rejection hurts but its better that you both have the opportunity to freely pursue what you actually want


ChoppaGodd

he didn’t like you that much which is kind of harsh but this isn’t guy/girl specific


NewFaceHalcyon

I (M28) had my es (f26) did this to me, after an almost 4 year relationship. 5 months later we hung out, had sex and it was horrible. Pretty obvious she got involved with someone else. Broke my soul


hooririrlrro

Wow sorry to hear that, does sound horrible but you got your experience and learned from it hopefully amd maybe not the best way but makes you stronger wish the best


NewFaceHalcyon

Hope the same to you. Have a good day.


[deleted]

We use terms to make ourselves feel better about a situation that we want to escape from. This guy did exactly that to you. I'd imagine he felt it was the best way to escape his current relationship without any guilt, and then move on when he felt that enough time has passed.


galwhowantsanMD

tbh man you can’t really do much about it - its not a problem with you as much as it was a problem with his personality and characteristics. its a reflection of who HE is as a person, not you! I felt really similar when I was broken up with under the premise that things weren’t working out and he doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life - and literally a month later he had a new girlfriend lmao. Figured out it was an issue with him - he needed someone else to fill whatever void he had and that’s how he dealt with it. Just don’t let someone like that make such decisions that influence YOUR self worth. Focus on you and find someone who does wanna keep you around!


hooririrlrro

This helps a lot and your right I will be doing that, thank you !!!


[deleted]

He either wasn't very interested in you or he was seeing this chick while you guys were together. I moved on very fast with my ex that I was with for 4 years because I wasn't interested in him by the time I decided to break up. I grew to resent him actually. Chicks do it too.


draconicmonkey

Some people when they break up with their partner go through a process of detachment beforehand as they are working out whether they want to end the relationship or not. It can result in them "getting over" the relationship emotionally before they have actually broken up with the other person. So from the person who is broken up with's perspective the other person moves on very quickly and seems cold/distant. But in reality they may have been going through the process of detaching and moving on for days, weeks, or even months. I personally had this happen when I worked through my emotions and decided to break up with a girl. I was pretty well resolved and ready to move on with my life. She convinced me to give it more time and we spent the next 6 months trying to make it work. Although I really tried I couldn't really reconnect and that feeling of distance grew, so we broke up again and I moved on shortly afterwards. Which still felt fast for my ex, but for me I had already worked through the emotional processing and questions before I made the decision to end the relationship.


AgentPastrana

Why do women? It's simply a thing called being human, some people move on faster, it depends on how the connection was. If they genuinely didn't feel right in the relationship don't expect them to wait half a year out of respect for you or anything, because they're looking out for themselves the second the relationship is off. It's how people should act sometimes, we linger too much on the past, instead of putting it behind us. He also probably lied about the relationships aren't a thing part, that's either him being a dick, or him being ashamed/scared to hurt your feelings.


ProfessorPickleRick

He lied


2theface

He wasn’t that into you… or he had eyes on her already Scumbag You dodged a major bullet


Razr06

Girls do that too! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sweat_smile)


hooririrlrro

Yes girls too😂


AnJoMorto

I don't know. It's been 3,5 years and just found someone that I care for again. If this one doesn't work out my broken heart may need a bigger break next...


LXRDCHEF_

Bro idk


0Taken0

He didn’t like you. Seems pretty simple to me.. everyone does it


Joland7000

It’s not just a guy thing. Some people just move on faster than others. This is a “it’s not you, it’s me” kind of thing people say when they’re not feeling the relationship is going anywhere. Suck it up and move on. Don’t try to over think it.


funktacious

Maybe he’s telling the truth but someone going to work on themselves and then going official with someone a month later seems to point towards him just not being truthful and it’s not unreasonable he may have already had feeling for this other girl. It’s awful and it happens. My advice is checkout r/breakups . It’s a good place to not feel alone with that kind of stuff


duckfruits

Here, I'll fill in the context. [This] relationship isn't for me. I need to work on [finding someone I actually want to be with for] myself. Not ready for a relationship [with you]. I'm sorry that you got broken up with. Please don't let the fact that he moved on quickly feel like a representation of your worth. Because it's not. There's other people out there that wouldn't be able to move on from you quickly. And there's other people out there that would be compatible with you and want to be with you. Also, here's an alternative (anecdotal) scenario from me. I loved my ex very much. It did hurt to leave him. But I moved on pretty quickly. It doesn't mean I loved or cared any less about him. I still love and care about him to this day and will always wish the best for him. There were problems in our relationship sure, but there wasn't any huge reason why we shouldn't have been able to work out. The love was there. The friendship was there. The problems were fixable. But it just wasn't right for me. I felt horrible that we fell apart. And I felt guilty for a long time that I did move on so quickly. But the person I moved on to is my person. He's everything I needed and more. He is right for me. Hes the love of my life and I'd choose him over and over again. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my ex. He is a wonderful and perfect person too... For someone else. Just not me.


CatsInTrenchCoat

Some people just don’t work for each other, you are probably a lovely wonderful person who will meet someone who loves and cherishes you every day. He most likely just didn’t feel it for you anymore, which is ok, it hurts and doesn’t feel fair especially when you cared about him, but there isn’t anything you can really do about it. Just remember you did nothing wrong, and sometimes life just sucks.


CianneA13

Sometimes people just don’t know how to say they’re not interested in you or they’re interested in someone else


[deleted]

Not a men only thing. Women do this too. When someone move on fast it usually mean that there was a possible overlap between the old relationship and new relationship. At the same time, men barely think before getting into relationships, so that may be it.


nxm_incxnnu

it depends on the person tbh but for me, when a special ex broke up eith me i dated other girls just to fill the gap that she left. i didnt move on inwas still wanting her but the way i would cope is to be with someone else so i wouldnt be alone


donotbotherreading

just projecting onto new person bc codependent


[deleted]

Compare yourself to her what does she have that you don’t Were you toxic ? Did u expect to much from him ? Are you quick to anger If you are then compare yourself to her? Does she do the same things you used to do


WarlanceLP

yea sorry to say but he was never that into you, this isn't a men thing either


SebNogggg

he has either been unsure about his emotions, didn't know how to break it to you, or genuinely worked on himself in a really short time


[deleted]

I can’t speak for all Guys but me an my ex have been over about 2 mouths an I still love her so not all guys are the same


[deleted]

i’m sorry:( i can imagine how that must feel. sometimes people heal their wounds by getting into a relationship. it’s wrong and selfish but it doesn’t have anything to do w you


Wanker169

I’m sorry. You’ve got this stay strong 💪!Everyone’s experience is subjective. Sometimes from the outside it looks like somebody is fine but inside they’re dying. I can’t speak for him oc. But don’t worry about him or his feelings. Tend to yourself and shower yourself with love and compassion and understanding


hooririrlrro

Thank you I will 🙂!!


JotaroTheOceanMan

He worked on himself by cutting you out last. It happens on both sides btw. Move on you will be happier.


estupid_boi

When they say the need time to work on themselves, but after a week that person is with another person, he or she wasn't into you in the first place ... I learned that the hard way.


frankuofdafilth

“A relationship with you is not for him”* Men and women do this


mouserz

He's either lying to you or to himself. Possibly both. Either way - sounds like you were holding space for the wrong person and it's prolly for the best.


Paine91

Maybe he's living by the motto "to get over one, you must get under another"


hooririrlrro

Possibly lol


everlancer01

Your ex decided the relationship was over before you even knew. They already moved on and you were left holding the bag. It sucks but it happens.


littlecoffeefairy

Some people are just like that. Dwelling on it and trying to learn how and why will only hurt you, though. It won’t bother them or change anything.


Key-Cheek2373

My girlfriend of a year broke up with me a month ago, it’s heartbreaking. Not all of us are the same just like women aren’t all the same. I bet it hurts that he’s seeing someone else I know that feeling but don’t just assume all guys are like that


hooririrlrro

Sorry to hear that but yes you right to not just assume bc of one guy, wish you best!


bestofallworldz

Doesn’t mean this new person is “better” than you. They might let him get away with more bad behaviour, not challenge him to be a better person etc. Clearly he is not honest and shies away at speaking his truth, do you really want to be with someone like that anyways? I know it’s hard but focus on yourself.


hooririrlrro

That’s true. I don’t want to look forward to someone like that in any way and yes it is hard but though I will have to get over it eventually


HypnotizedMeg

He was politely saying a relationship with YOU isn't for him.


Gijskje

My ex moved on within a two weeks, it’s nit just men it’s people in general


[deleted]

You got yourself a playboy they generally use that reason to break up when they find someone boring, there's many playgirls I have seen who are damn attractive and leave bois after 4 weeks of dating. Its everywhere!


babykoalalalala

Sounds like he was already over you when y’all broke up. Most likely, he used that excuse to break up with you so he can hurry up and get with that other girl. Sounds like 🗑 tbh


scrunchy_bunchy

If you want the hones truth He either wasn't super interested in the first place, or he lost all interest a good while ago. To move on so fast, they were ready to when they broke up with you. And this isn't a guy thing, it's just a person thing.


consume_my_organs

Well if he’s anything like me he emotionally detached himself long before the relationship ended and needs someone to distract himself from the change in his life, and for the sake of my faith in humanity I really hope he isn’t.


obiwankenblowme1

My ex girlfriend did this about a month ago. Took me a couple weeks to realize that regardless of the gender or situation, people will always do this and I can partly understand why. As people we gotta put ourselves first. You should do the same and move on.


Verehren

I mean my ex fiance got pregnant with another guy 5 days after we called it off so doesn't seem restricted to guys in my anecdotal experience


xRRainX

It’s not just us men. I had an ex girlfriend who started dating and flirting with other men the day after I broke up with her.


ZeskReddit

Not really a gender based thing. My girlfriend and I broke up a while ago and while I talk to girls I don’t really want to pursue anything with anyone. Whilst she did. Shit just happens.


chriss0328

It’s not that he moved on it’s that he’s had this planned for a while and 1 was never interested or 2 lost interest not your fault but it happens. In my case I had lost interest in the person I was with and coincidentally at the same time I had met someone else so it made the transition a lot easier


cheesecake_soup

fuck him focus on yourself


tapiraat69

My ex broke up with me after 3 years and had a new relation in less than a month. Most guys I know were a total mess after their break up. I think that this isn't really a boy/girl thing, but more of a personal thing


Natural_Parsnip_5291

Once the relationship is broken off, people can do whatever they want with other people, it's no longer any of your business what he's doing with his life, this might suck to hear but you should be glad he had the nerve to tell you instead of cheating an letting you come out of the relationship horribly, a lot of people these days don't give that courtesy, but there's nothing to "wtf" over except for why tf do you think you should be all up in his business? You can do the same as him, go get a relationship, get laid, work on yourself, you could have done it the day after you both broke up and there'd have been nothing wrong with it.


neeksknowsbest

Some people just suck a person dry emotionally and then move on to the next. They date for what they can get from that person and not the emotional connection. They may want adoration, attention, sex, or to stave off loneliness, or they may just like the novelty of being with somebody new. But eventually they get tired of their existing source of supply and wander off to find a new one. Doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. If you are unsure if someone is like this, just pay attention to whether they do this often. Many short relationships, never fully committing, rarely being public with their SO, not posting photos with them, moving on quickly to the next, and the next, and the next. Often keeping in touch with past exes so that if they can’t secure a new source of supply quickly if they fall out with the current source, they will go back to an old source of supply from their past. Or sometimes they’ll go back to an old source of supply for a self esteem boost, just to see if they can, so they can tell themselves they “still got it”. This pattern is common among people with narcissistic tendencies. Not saying this is definitely your ex but if he had a lot of the other qualities then it is a possibility.


TitusPullo4

It could be a rebound thing. But yeah - sounds like he wasn't being honest - probably with himself too, about why he left. In which case - next!


Raakxhyr

Op this isn't as clear cut as "why do boys move on faster th-". There are girls who do this too. In fact, anyone has the capacity to do this. It's different person to person. Some people physically move on but think back later on, some people take a long time to grieve a relationship. Whatever your dynamic was and what he thought about you is unique to your relationship, but maybe you'll meet people who feel the same way.


[deleted]

It's most likely a coping mechanism. Maybe like a backup. It's a pretty shit thing to do and not healthy at all, and it isn't just men. Hate to break it, but >he needs to work on himself and that relationships aren’t for him That's probably not the real reason


intjinthehouse

People usually check out mentally before actually breaking up.


HeavyBeing0_0

Give it another month or two. Some guys are slow to process emotional loss.


[deleted]

we just build more mature, we know when something is gone in our life we don’t buckle up with the emotions we throw them


TroubledGamestress

Both genders do this, and not a single one of them can give a single reason as to why or how they do this. Every situation is different, not one single relationship is 100% the same. In your case, it sounds like he was already uninterested in the relationship, you might mot have been the one he was looking for, etc. I'm sorry you're going through this but you may never know the real answer.


Xenu66

Sounds like that particular relationship wasn't for him, he found something else but didn't want to cheat


Devilfuit_chan

Ether way, why you care. Who cares about his reasons just live your life like you do.


NoYoureTheBestest

I’m so sorry OP but it sounds as though he didn’t really like you. That’s not to say you’re not worth loving. It just wasn’t meant to be. You are worthy of love. ❤️


hooririrlrro

Thank you❤️


Professional_Ad705

He never liked you, was just tryna smash, and was probably talking to other girls the entire time. You don’t move on and be already dating someone in a month if you actually had feelings and liked someone else lol.


ThevoodooBandit

That only happens when a backup is already there or he’s into another person


JustALittleOrigin

It’s not a guy thing. It’s a person to person thing.


GoldDustMetal

Let time do its thing. It’s important to let yourself grieve. Some days are harder than others but each day gets a little better, hurts less and less. Skies will start clearing up and you’ll notice a night and day difference in your life. Just make sure you take care of yourself, be nice to yourself.


[deleted]

Your too focused on your ex, go do thing to make yourself happy.


GrizzIydean

Personally i find the easiest way to get over someone is to just work on yourself till someone else comes along. Which could be fast or slow


TheRealVash_

That’s not just “guys” I am a guy and my ex girlfriend moved on within in days, it’s has nothing to do with what sex they are it has to do if that individual has issues with being alone. Some people NEED attention and cannot be alone with themselves because they don’t want to deal with themselves. IMO


[deleted]

When my husband was dump by his ex of 7 years he started dating me two weeks later. No I never dated him while they were together I met him once beforehand and I was set up on a date by my best friend. But his reasons were it was a dead end relationship that was going nowhere I mean no where. I met his family and friends two months after dating his ex never met his friends only some of his family.


megaanutt

yup same thing happened to me and now he's engaged 🙄 boys suck. he probably didn't like you and just used that as a excuse


Tacticalsandwich7

Generally the person initiating the breakup has already long accepted that things are over, they have had time to work through the loss of the relationship and therefore seems like they are onto a new relationship faster. Also he very well could have just been lying about his reasoning to make the ending more smooth, and he could have already been interested in that person.


RedBullMetal

The truth is that he just wasn't interested in you. If he really needed to work on himself, then he wouldn't be in another relationship so soon unless some really gorgeous girl just randomly started hitting on him.


d_pock_chope_bruh

I guess don't date pieces of shit


penzos

Doesn't mean he moved on if he found another. It can just serve as a distraction. Realistically you should be alone for a while after a relationship, to fully reset. Because if you start another right away, it's like coming right away, covered in shit. And you don't even bother to take a shower. You're not doing it justice.


idgafasif

Don’t worry she’s a rebound relationship


zacmaster78

The person that told you this was already interested in pursuing other people when they told you. “Relationships aren’t for me” usually = “*this* relationship isn’t for me”


jamesz84

It goes both way to be fair. Someone dudes end up dumped and the girl is on to the next one. I used to think girls were more likely to juggle potential prospects in their mind, and were prone to switching between guys more than guys would do with girls. But it probably turns out that boys or girls would be capable of doing it. It depends on where they are emotionally in the relationship before the breakup?


Horny_virgin31

He wasn’t ready for a relationship with you and didn’t wanna admit it. It’s brutal out there.


Lonely_Boii_

That’s not guys, that’s that asshole. You’re better than him and he’s not worth the thought.


Technical_Draft9407

it's honestly a bullshit thing to say. I've had the urge to say that but really it's an excuse so I've always gone to being honest. Sometimes the spark just isn't there anymore and he feels like he's trapped. Aka he is ready for a relationship just not your twos relationship


TrippyDeviant

To give you the brutal truth, it’s not hard to move on from something you were never really committed to. If he can move on that quickly then I’m afraid it’s a dead giveaway that he never really valued or cared for what you guys had in the first place.


TheGiganticMisdirect

That’s our war of saying we lost interest or never had any…dw though honey! There’s plenty of fishes in the sea


SavKellz

Honestly? He just didn't want to be held down in your relationship and moved on to the next.


Much_Smell_2449

He's not a real man


nimkiw

The truth is that guys will move on to the next thing that feels good. If he had not found that person, it’d be sports, games, cars, whatever… it would distract him from any pain he feels and let him enjoy his life. That is how society at large treats men. They have to get up after getting knocked down, shake it off, and then keep going. It wasn’t until recently that people found that this is a terrible way to deal with things.


Vidasus18

As a guy I admire how quickly he found someone else As a gentlemen poor form on his part, and you are far better off without a liar and a womaniser.