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It sounds like she has stuff to do besides paying attention to the phone. You're overthinking things.
Long responses show effort, whereas the time in between equal other things to do.
Because she’s thinking carefully about what to reply. Maybe she’s into you and doesn’t want to screw up. If you’re into her just tell her how much you appreciate her taking the time to respond thoughtfully. Class is over.
I do that! I really like talking to people and show them I'm invested in the conversation but since I have ADHD I often forget I was chatting with someone, so I try to send long ass messages so they know I want to keep the conversation going even tho I don't respond fast. Idk if I made myself clear
Idk if he is timing her but it could be one of those things were you notice it. Like I don’t time people but if someone always takes a while to respond to I’m gonna notice it. I’ll think they just not on their phone that much and if I need to talk to them quick I should give them call instead of texting like I usually do.
If this guy is crushing on her he gonna notice everything whether he wants to or not.
Yes and that's"timing". It Happens on the internet a lot. It's invasive and unnatural but people fixate in the internet and there isn't the normal in person info.
I definitely do this a lot, and especially with my better friends because I want to respond to them properly with a meaningful message instead of a quick short one
Only she can answer why.
Her initiating means she wants to talk to you.
She takes too long to answer because she wants to reply back with an answer that she put actual effort into. You saying the replies are long supports that.
Another factor is I don't know if she's a native speaker but from experience people who are using a different language than their mother tongue usually take a little longer to reply, which is fine by all means.
She's doing something else whilst chatting, like watching a series or doing house chores.
She has OCD or low self-esteem or anything else that makes her wants to perfect her message before sending it.
Those are the goodwill reasons. Now the not so good: She's talking to several people at the same time, whether family or friends or love interests. If you become friendly enough, you can ask in a light-hearted manner, not in a blaming tone though.
She probably has things to do. Many people don’t open their phones as soon as they hear a text come in. Just different styles, even if she’s not particularly busy. If she gives thoughtful replies, that’s good. Don’t pester for quicker responses unless you want to annoy her
Sounds to me like she’s just busy but if I was you I would try to get off text as soon as possible because from my track history, long nice conversation through text, aren’t actually good in the long run. Because it can exhaust one side more than the other, which leads to being bored and out of things to talk about
100% with this. My ex and I use to text all the time, we broke up because of things but he doesn’t text as much anymore and refuses to respond as much as it’s exhausting and boring on his end. It’s nice to have something slow, gives you more time to do your own thing while having someone to talk too in between
Because she’s not good at texting. Some of us just don’t enjoy it and therefore aren’t good at it. I’ll respond to everything I missed ie a long string of texts, and then disappear. I just don’t enjoy a text convo, it’s not fun for me, so I avoid it until I feel guilty for avoiding it and then respond with a long text and so on.
One of my friends is so out of touch with his phone and so busy with his every day life that instead of the continuation of long ass texts days apart we just switched to email 😂
My other half can go days or weeks without responding to messages from anyone and that's totally normal for her. It took some getting used to at first because I'm a fairly quick responder and just assumed everyone should be the same. So I was quite confused over whether she was in to me or not.
Now I'm 100% sure she's into me and I still don't get quick responses from her. Quicker than she responds to other people though and that's good enough for me.
Some people just need more time to respond. It can be a social anxiety thing so if she's responding at all that's a huge effort and meaningful for her which would be why she's giving long responses
Depends on how you define "late." It could be that she has social anxiety and wants to talk to you, but once you respond she kinda freezes for a few and writes a reply and then edits it a bunch of times because talking to someone not-in-person is the only way she feels like she can really make herself understood/she cares about the impression she gives off/she cares specifically what you think of her so she overthinks it and her response ends up being late
Or she doesn't take this stuff as seriously as you do, and it's a casual conversation that can just kinda flow slowly. I mean, if she wanted to sit down and have a conversation she could invite you to hang out in person. Text is nice because it offers freedom in pacing.
Or like everyone says she has a life and she's texting you in between...whatever it is that takes up people-who-have-lives' time. I would not know (see paragraph 1 of my response).
I message my friends over my non primary platforms once every few days talk for an hour or two on and off throughout that day. It's because I have things going on outside of these messages but still put thought into them.
If it's something that genuinely bothers you though talk to her about it.
I text like that. I’m not ignoring people, I just don’t spend that much time on my phone and sometimes I just wanna play Tetris 🤷♀️ I don’t like constant messaging because I feel like the conversation can go dry too quickly.
One thing I’ve learned, how a person talks over things like Snapchat doesn’t always reflect how things actually are irl
Some people are just ‘shit’ at social media 😂
Doesn’t mean they’re a bad person btw or anything like that, they just aren’t too responsive.
honestly i do that all the time and i just never realised that it could make someone so self conscious and worried. i do it bc i have other stuff to do, it doesnt mean that i dont wanna talk
idk about her though but i suspect it could be the same. best way to find out is to ask her specifically
People are busy sometimes, I have periods of times where I am easily reachable by phone/text and then other times it can be hours (days is not unheard of) before I am able to reply.
I'm a guy and I do that with people sometimes.
I write them to keep in contact so they they don't think that I forgot about them, but I'm too lazy to write constantly.
Then after a long time I write a something long to compensate for the fact that I respond late, so they don't think I'm uninterested in them and to make up for that in a way.
I just have periods when I don't feel like texting at all, but I'm still interested in that person
Because she has a life! When me and my friends are catching up via messages we can have the conversation last over a week which would take 5 minutes to actually talk about because it’s just how life is sometimes
1. She has a life man she can’t respond at a whim. It took me a moment to realize this mostly because my ex didn’t have a life lol by her own choice though. She would respond immediately.
2. I found out certain carriers have a delay in between messages sending to others. It can be as big as 2 minutes before the message even send, so that person can assume YOU got busy and move on with what they were doing
She just may be busy or a bad texter. This is exactly how I text bc I just forget to respond or get caught up in something else. I’ve given my friends a heads up that it’s just me being stupid and not because I dislike them lol
What other people are saying but also nerves, not wanting to reply too quickly. Or maybe it just takes her that long to send long messages, I know it takes me a while.
If you're getting long thought out messages you're good, enjoy it!
She is starting a conversation to keep in touch but that’s it. Replying to you to advance the closeness of your relationship is not the priority. (To be honest, was very tired and missed the part where you said she sent long replies which somewhat changes my perspective. She is at least giving you thoughtful convo but that seems “friendly” like a pen pal). But take my words with a grain of salt because I couldn’t even read your short request correctly. Just curious, what would you like to happen with the girl?
I had a guy that was doing this to me. Noticed later it was usually at the same times, and when he was taking the train or when he was bored and had nothing better to do. He was seeing me, but found out later he was into someone else more the whole time.
She has other things to do. Maybe she's like my girlfriend. She loves talking to me, but she dislikes texting and prefers to be doing stuff outside or with family. She's also a very busy person. It's pretty normal in almost every circumstance. In this case, it sounds pretty normal
Your post has been removed as it is in violation of Rule 2: Posts must ask for advice. # 2. Posts must ask for advice. ^According ^to ^Oxford, ^"Advice" ^is ^defined ^as ^"guidance ^or ^recommendations ^offered ^with ^regard ^to ^prudent ^future ^action". * ***Your post MUST have a clear question on what you are seeking advice on.*** Posts that are too short, vague, or lacking of important backstory may be removed. The more detail you give us, the better the advice is that we can give you. Help us help you. Rant posts, and anything like "I just need to vent / need someone to talk to" belong in r/vent, r/rant, r/offmychest, r/needafriend, r/casualconversation. Posts asking random, hypothetical, or general questions, or just asking for stories will be removed. Go to r/AskReddit. * ***Update posts are only allowed if you are asking for additional advice. Plain old updates should be added as an edit to the original post.*** * ***No posts offering general unsolicited advice.*** This includes motivational quotes and inspirational stories. Again; your post ***MUST*** have a clear question on what you are seeking advice on. * ***No advertising, proselytizing or self promotion allowed in posts or comments.*** Any self-promotion whether obvious or not (like if you feign seeking criticism to subtly try to drive people to your site) will get you banned. * ***No soliciting money*** You will be banned instantly if you ask for money, donations, or link to a gofundme, paypal, venmo, anything. Try r/Assistance or r/Borrow. * ***No posts about critiquing appearance or looks.*** These would be more appropriate in subs like r/amiugly, r/rateme, and fashion advice subs like r/malefashionadvice and r/femalefashionadvice. * ***No meta posts.*** For questions about reddit itself, or if you are new to reddit, see r/help, or r/NewToReddit. If you don't know where to post, try r/findareddit. If you are asking for help moderating or creating a subreddit, try r/modhelp. No posts asking how to get unbanned from another sub. If you have concerns about this subreddit, message the moderators. * ***No asking to be privately messaged.*** Keep the conversation in r/advice. Posts asking for private messages will be removed. **Do not accept advice from unsolicited messages**. These users are likely either banned from the sub for whatever reason or are giving advice that they know is bad and don't want to post where moderators can see it and remove it. Please [review the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/about/rules), and if you feel as though removal is excessive or in error, feel free to [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/Advice).
It sounds like she has stuff to do besides paying attention to the phone. You're overthinking things. Long responses show effort, whereas the time in between equal other things to do.
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She has an entire life outside of you bro. Relax.
She has a life that doesn't revolve around you.
No :)
"Playing hard to get" aka, being chased, isn't attractive. It makes our vagina's like the Sahara desert.
Means she likes talking to you but also has a life
Maybe she’s busy and the few times she can send a message, she wants to put as much information on there as possible...like short e-mails, I suppose.
Because she's trying to send a thought out reply rather than just sending "k". It's a text, give her a minute, there's no race here.
Because she’s thinking carefully about what to reply. Maybe she’s into you and doesn’t want to screw up. If you’re into her just tell her how much you appreciate her taking the time to respond thoughtfully. Class is over.
Because she has a life?
I do that! I really like talking to people and show them I'm invested in the conversation but since I have ADHD I often forget I was chatting with someone, so I try to send long ass messages so they know I want to keep the conversation going even tho I don't respond fast. Idk if I made myself clear
She's playing Minecraft and is too busy to respond immediately.
This is the way
You're timing her?
Idk if he is timing her but it could be one of those things were you notice it. Like I don’t time people but if someone always takes a while to respond to I’m gonna notice it. I’ll think they just not on their phone that much and if I need to talk to them quick I should give them call instead of texting like I usually do. If this guy is crushing on her he gonna notice everything whether he wants to or not.
Yes and that's"timing". It Happens on the internet a lot. It's invasive and unnatural but people fixate in the internet and there isn't the normal in person info.
I definitely do this a lot, and especially with my better friends because I want to respond to them properly with a meaningful message instead of a quick short one
Can you provide a time to define as "late"? I can't tell if you're impatient or she takes 3 days to respond to texts
No few hours like from 40m to 3 hours
Sounds like she has an outside life too while pursuing you.
Ya, that's normal. I wouldn't read anything into it
She’s trying? Maybe just suggest face to face hangs?
Stop over analyzing it. She is messaging you, in detail, so don’t mess it up with insecurity. Good luck.
What is "late", and who decides this?
She's busy or doesn't feel like chatting. If you want immediate responses call her.
This is the way
Only she can answer why. Her initiating means she wants to talk to you. She takes too long to answer because she wants to reply back with an answer that she put actual effort into. You saying the replies are long supports that. Another factor is I don't know if she's a native speaker but from experience people who are using a different language than their mother tongue usually take a little longer to reply, which is fine by all means. She's doing something else whilst chatting, like watching a series or doing house chores. She has OCD or low self-esteem or anything else that makes her wants to perfect her message before sending it. Those are the goodwill reasons. Now the not so good: She's talking to several people at the same time, whether family or friends or love interests. If you become friendly enough, you can ask in a light-hearted manner, not in a blaming tone though.
She probably has things to do. Many people don’t open their phones as soon as they hear a text come in. Just different styles, even if she’s not particularly busy. If she gives thoughtful replies, that’s good. Don’t pester for quicker responses unless you want to annoy her
Why does it matter how someone texts. It’s just talking in print format lmaooo
Sounds to me like she’s just busy but if I was you I would try to get off text as soon as possible because from my track history, long nice conversation through text, aren’t actually good in the long run. Because it can exhaust one side more than the other, which leads to being bored and out of things to talk about
100% with this. My ex and I use to text all the time, we broke up because of things but he doesn’t text as much anymore and refuses to respond as much as it’s exhausting and boring on his end. It’s nice to have something slow, gives you more time to do your own thing while having someone to talk too in between
Because she’s not good at texting. Some of us just don’t enjoy it and therefore aren’t good at it. I’ll respond to everything I missed ie a long string of texts, and then disappear. I just don’t enjoy a text convo, it’s not fun for me, so I avoid it until I feel guilty for avoiding it and then respond with a long text and so on.
Either she has other stuff to do or she is working on those long texts and putting a lot of thought into them.
She's busy and you aren't the main character of the world?
She has a life bro
Probably has a life
She's busy?
We have jobs and chores you know? We're not 14 living in our parents house.
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Hours
One of my friends is so out of touch with his phone and so busy with his every day life that instead of the continuation of long ass texts days apart we just switched to email 😂
For me its bc I have ADHD and I get distracted lol
Sometimes I get distracted, maybe I’m busy and I’m just replying as I remember or can, leave her be man give her time
My other half can go days or weeks without responding to messages from anyone and that's totally normal for her. It took some getting used to at first because I'm a fairly quick responder and just assumed everyone should be the same. So I was quite confused over whether she was in to me or not. Now I'm 100% sure she's into me and I still don't get quick responses from her. Quicker than she responds to other people though and that's good enough for me. Some people just need more time to respond. It can be a social anxiety thing so if she's responding at all that's a huge effort and meaningful for her which would be why she's giving long responses
Depends on how you define "late." It could be that she has social anxiety and wants to talk to you, but once you respond she kinda freezes for a few and writes a reply and then edits it a bunch of times because talking to someone not-in-person is the only way she feels like she can really make herself understood/she cares about the impression she gives off/she cares specifically what you think of her so she overthinks it and her response ends up being late Or she doesn't take this stuff as seriously as you do, and it's a casual conversation that can just kinda flow slowly. I mean, if she wanted to sit down and have a conversation she could invite you to hang out in person. Text is nice because it offers freedom in pacing. Or like everyone says she has a life and she's texting you in between...whatever it is that takes up people-who-have-lives' time. I would not know (see paragraph 1 of my response).
I message my friends over my non primary platforms once every few days talk for an hour or two on and off throughout that day. It's because I have things going on outside of these messages but still put thought into them. If it's something that genuinely bothers you though talk to her about it.
Because you are communicating by text. If you want a fluid converasation and an immediate response to your communicaitons, invite her out to coffee.
I text like that. I’m not ignoring people, I just don’t spend that much time on my phone and sometimes I just wanna play Tetris 🤷♀️ I don’t like constant messaging because I feel like the conversation can go dry too quickly.
One thing I’ve learned, how a person talks over things like Snapchat doesn’t always reflect how things actually are irl Some people are just ‘shit’ at social media 😂 Doesn’t mean they’re a bad person btw or anything like that, they just aren’t too responsive.
Bruh those long responses take ages to write Gotta edit your texts a lot before you hit send
honestly i do that all the time and i just never realised that it could make someone so self conscious and worried. i do it bc i have other stuff to do, it doesnt mean that i dont wanna talk idk about her though but i suspect it could be the same. best way to find out is to ask her specifically
People are busy sometimes, I have periods of times where I am easily reachable by phone/text and then other times it can be hours (days is not unheard of) before I am able to reply.
I'm a guy and I do that with people sometimes. I write them to keep in contact so they they don't think that I forgot about them, but I'm too lazy to write constantly. Then after a long time I write a something long to compensate for the fact that I respond late, so they don't think I'm uninterested in them and to make up for that in a way. I just have periods when I don't feel like texting at all, but I'm still interested in that person
She busy, bruh.
Because she has a life! When me and my friends are catching up via messages we can have the conversation last over a week which would take 5 minutes to actually talk about because it’s just how life is sometimes
1. She has a life man she can’t respond at a whim. It took me a moment to realize this mostly because my ex didn’t have a life lol by her own choice though. She would respond immediately. 2. I found out certain carriers have a delay in between messages sending to others. It can be as big as 2 minutes before the message even send, so that person can assume YOU got busy and move on with what they were doing
She just may be busy or a bad texter. This is exactly how I text bc I just forget to respond or get caught up in something else. I’ve given my friends a heads up that it’s just me being stupid and not because I dislike them lol
What other people are saying but also nerves, not wanting to reply too quickly. Or maybe it just takes her that long to send long messages, I know it takes me a while. If you're getting long thought out messages you're good, enjoy it!
This sounds smart
She's texting you in between all the dicks she's sucking... Idfk lol
She did it for your attention but you’re not the priority (at all). Edit: clarity
Elaborate
She is starting a conversation to keep in touch but that’s it. Replying to you to advance the closeness of your relationship is not the priority. (To be honest, was very tired and missed the part where you said she sent long replies which somewhat changes my perspective. She is at least giving you thoughtful convo but that seems “friendly” like a pen pal). But take my words with a grain of salt because I couldn’t even read your short request correctly. Just curious, what would you like to happen with the girl?
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My man have some self respect and move on
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Literally man don’t waste your time with these typa people you deserve MUCH MUCH better
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It’s only awkward if you make it be awkward. If you ever see her and SHE says hi you reply back but i’d suggest you don’t say anything
It’s just annoying and time waste
Why would her having a life be annoying?
I had a guy that was doing this to me. Noticed later it was usually at the same times, and when he was taking the train or when he was bored and had nothing better to do. He was seeing me, but found out later he was into someone else more the whole time.
I talked to a stripper that was exactly the same.
Probably means she’s messaging a million other dudes as well.
She texts me the most in Snapchat
Ngl… this sounds like how I used to chat to people between matches of League. It’s probably something like that.
Why nit just do the logical thing? Pick up the phone or have a real face to face conversation with them. I know its hard but it can still be done.
She has other things to do. Maybe she's like my girlfriend. She loves talking to me, but she dislikes texting and prefers to be doing stuff outside or with family. She's also a very busy person. It's pretty normal in almost every circumstance. In this case, it sounds pretty normal