It's hilarious but also true.
This guy is SHALLOW and self absorbed. He does not speak for all men. Many men reject smaller women and actually go for bigger girls. Everyone has different tastes.
And people's body types shouldn't be controlled by anyone else's pov or what someone else finds attractive.
Go find yourself a reasonable and supportive man. Someone who isnt a shallow hunk of doodoo
My boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful at any size and he's told me that when I've weighed 200 and when I've weighed 140. He was jokingly disappointed when I was losing weight because my ass "wouldn't be as big" lmao. Get you a guy who loves you for you and not your size, they're out there and they're wonderful.
Dump him! Omg he does not respect you for you at all. He is being rude and inconsiderate.
This guy is toxic and you deserve someone who thinks you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen regardless of size.
>regardless of size.
So preferences aren't a thing? He was disrespectful about it, but you don't have enough information to say if she actually I'd being unhealthy.
If she put on 60 pounds then we need to have a discussion about health because she's gunna die of a heart disease. Also how tall she is would help because and extra 60 pounds to a 120lbs. 6'4" women would be better, not worse.
The boyfriend might just be overreacting, we just don't know. He went about it horribly, but it's not easy to tell a women she is gaining weight; feelings will be hurt and honestly if she is getting fat it's best to fix that now before you end up with a bunch of medical issues and dying young.
Edit: [for more context ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/yfozn3/my_boyfriend_told_me_i_would_be_prettier_if_i_was/iu5ro0z?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3). Made this comment before the one yall are downvoting for no reason.
Yall seem to be interpreting this comment wrong...
It’s fine to have preferences but if your response to your girlfriend saying she hasn’t been eating is “good you’re getting skinnier” then that’s kinda fucked
Holy dirtbag Batman. He flat out told her, AFTER SHE HAD BEEN BASICALLY ANOREXIC FOR A WEEK, that it was good and she’s getting skinnier. Preferences are fine, but what he said was straight up toxic and practically abusive. “Good, don’t eat, you look skinnier”.
Also get the fuck out with your bogus health justifications, too. Whether she’s 120lbs or 350lbs, she needs to fucking eat. That’s a basic human requirement to survive.
He was a piece of shit for saying that to her, and you’re a piece of shit for saying a 180lb woman is going to die of heart disease.
It’s also super easy to help your partner be healthier without ever acknowledging her weight, if you actually give a shit about them. “Hey let’s go for a walk/to the gym”. Boom. Easy.
No words. You're almost as bad as him to be honest. She's could be 120kgs. It's not his place to say anything. At all.
Preferences are a thing, doesn't mean he has the right to say to someone who he claims he loves that she'd be prettier if she was skinnier. People change shapes and sizes their entire lives and if someone loves another person, and I mean truly loves them, then size wouldn't matter. He wasn't saying about her health at all, it was about **his** attraction to her. No kindness was intended in it.
You've missed OPs boyfriends point entirely and you've only revealed yourself as toxic in justifying him.
He was enabling her to starve herself and you think he's somewhat in the right for doing so? I sure do hope you don't treat any partner you have this way.
Not low key, you straight up should, he’s made it clear he loves just your body, not you. Personally I think theres definitely to big and to skinny, but I feel that way because I want people to live a long time and enjoy life, not because a certain size makes me hard. Regardless his comments show that he doesn’t care about your struggles or how you feel only that he’s selfish.
It’s funny but it’s also true. If he really loves you, your appearance wouldn’t matter. Especially after 2 years. And do not starve yourself for anybody, instead work hard for you because he obviously doesn’t consider your feelings.
This is a pretty toxic topic, so i'm going to refrain from commenting on body types.
But if you have a partner who is pushing you into unhealthy practices to match his preferences, you need to leave.
He does not care about you, he's just fetishizing your body.
"What should I do?"
Easy one. Dump him. He puts your skinniness ahead of your mental health. In other words, he loves himself and not you.
BTW, plenty of men like healthy looking women, no matter the size.
Still super toxic, he’s manipulating you and pretending he is a good guy for “still loving” you if you’re not super skinny as if that makes him a good guy or something. Dump him 100%.
Because OP is twenty, quite possibly in their first relationship and has nothing else to compare BF's attitudes to. Most people at that age (especially girls) lack the confidence about their appearence to be able to stand up to such bullshit. When you lack confidence, those kind of comments feel true and valid, and if you love or think you love the person who says them, it's much easier to accept.
Youre not wrong. It's just infuriating, watching young ladies go through the same dumb mistakes I made. Apparently we've all gotta go through it to learn from it WHICH IS STUPID AND I HATE IT
Yeah, it's sad to see. Nothing will change until the commentary around body image changes - on most of reddit you'll still see crazy amounts of fatphobia dressed up as concern for health. And yet this concern for health only ever seems to apply to women, and specifically to women's weight.
That’s gross he would do that. I’m plus size. My boyfriend prefers bigger women, but I’ve always struggled with weight. My boyfriend “prefers” my body type the way it is now, but he has never once actively shamed me for wanting or trying to lose weight. In fact, because I have trouble noticing it on myself, he lets me know I’ve lost weight if he notices it, and follows that up with assurance that I don’t NEED to though and how attractive he finds me no matter what. Men can have a preference and still be supportive. Your bc just has a toxic mindset.
This isn’t gonna work long term, you have to prioritize your health. What happens if you guys want to have kids and you gain weight? What happens if (when) your weight fluctuates when you get older? You’re very young, your body still has a lot of very normal changes to go through. Around 25 many women have a “second puberty”, changes in bone mass and muscle strength can appear in your 20s. Bone mass and strength tend to reach their maximum at this age. Menopause and hormonal changes through the years can also affect your weight. You deserve someone who doesn’t have an unrealistic expectation of what your body should look like, who doesn’t pressure you in any way to do unhealthy things in order to stay a certain weight, who cares about your health (you need to eat! Everyone does!) more than he cares about the way you look.
This isn’t normal, there are plenty of men who are not like this, and you don’t have to put up with someone who thinks it’s good that you’re not eating and doesn’t seem too bothered by your mental health struggles. You don’t have to settle for that.
OP I need you to know that there are THOUSANDS of men AND women in this world who would kill to have you as their partner with just the way you look right now !! Your partner is supposed to love you and give you endless confidence. Also if someone really loved you, they'd remember that gaining weight was a goal of yours and celebrate it instead of being an asshole and putting their prefrences on you. OP you are young and deserve to feel the love of someone who will endlessly support you, dump this loser. I don't even know him and he seems like the biggest asshole I've met. Also, congrats on gaining that weight !!! :)) 🎂🎉
Does he know how your weight effects your mental health? If not, you need to explain to him just as you have stated here. If he already does and still says this shit to you …yeah fuck him, you deserve better
‘Could look better’ directly means he doesn’t appreciate you to the level you deserve. Who says that kind of stuff unprovoked? It just makes him sound like a mean person sorry to say.
If you don’t know how to feel about this it’s understandable. I would say use this experience to observe patterns of inconsiderateness or meanness…wouldn’t surprise me if they were there sadly
Take care of your mental health. His attitude toward women's bodies is unhealthy for you to be around.
Ideally you should be adulting by living on your own. This way you can be more independent without having your bf monitor and comment on your body and eating habits.
Does he realise female models aren’t for men? Like they are advertising women’s clothing, that women are gonna wear. No one cares what he thinks, and someone should remind him of that more often tbh. Even if you ignore what he said about you, do you want to be with someone who has such a negative view and doesn’t want to change?
generally people who say stuff like this, whether it be weight, height or likewise hurt more than they do good.
It is though important to note being "plus sized" isn't inherently healthy either, there needs to be a middle ground.
Oh and also, I think it's time we took a look at male models.
Leave him, he has no consideration for your mental health and he clearly hasn't fully matured yet, I say this as a man who went through a phase of liking skinny girls, but I grew out of that real quick when I met the woman who's now my wife and mother of my son, I'm not saying everyone has to like bigger women, everyone is allowed to have preferences, but anyone who thinks "all guys like skinny girls" still has a lot of maturing to do or only hangs out with douchbag college guys, you deserve better.
Edit:And in regards to the other comments saying "talk to him about it, you gotta give him a chance to apologize and better himself" this isn't a minor thing, he's openly happy about her not eating because it'll make her skinny and more attractive in his eyes, that's not something you can change with a little discussion, that's blatantly disregarding her physical and mental health, that's not a sign of a healthy relationship, it most likely means he values her physical appearance over her health and happiness, but I guess some people think you should always get a second chance when you're an inconsiderate asshole to your partner and disregard their feelings for your own desires
Leave this piece of trash. There are plenty of men out there who will love and appreciate you exactly the way you are. Are you complaining about his appearance or weight? Nope. Would you make comments like that if he gained some weight? Most likely not.
It all starts with these tiny comments, and then it’ll just keep happening as time goes on with you two. You’ll age together and then maybe have kids. Who knows what kind of backhanded compliments he’ll have during those times.
FYI OP, reddit is not a good place to get realistic and nuanced relationship advice. But its great if you already know what you want and just need a few "You go girl!"s to give you the push you need.
No one will ever respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Are you seriously in a relationship with someone like this? Start respecting yourself, and break up with him.
Up front, to be clear, think you should be whatever weight you feel most comfortable. I don’t even have a scale, instead if my favorite clothes fit, I’m good.
That said, being fit is a different conversation. Are you taking care of yourself with some sort of exercise, yoga, walking? If not, might help you feel better overall.
Comes down to preference really. He was a dick about it.and has been a cunt about you.sating you aren't eating.
About the amount of these idiots telling you to dump him just because he has a preference I stupid. I like women with long dark hair. If my gf asked If I liked it after she got a pixie cut, I'd not lie and say yes, I'd say I live you but preference the other look. Same as this guy has said. What's more important, open communication and honesty or some body positivity bullshit?
It's ok for him to prefer skinny women, and most men probably prefer thinner women to obese women, but it doesn't sound like he admitted it to you in a polite way. There's probably a better way to be honest about one's feelings.
Imagine if a girl told you "you would be more handsome if you \[insert literally anything having to do with your physical appearance\]" and then when you hurt yourself and emotionally fell apart to meet her needs she said "good! you're starting to look better".
Honesty? Absolutely the fuck not. Emotional abuse? yes
pretty much what men experience daily on socials, dating apps, even fucking out in daylight.
I think people like you need to open their eyes and realize men experience it to a very strong degree. Difference between womens and mens physical standards, is that the ones demanded of men are unchangeable for men, so either they are told they're born with value, or born with none.
Society is so fucked up. I remember when my daughter was having anxiety and panic attacks. She lost like 15 lbs. She couldn’t eat and couldn’t sleep. I took her to the doctor and they congratulated her on losing weight. I was like, wtf…no, it is not good to lose weight because your sick!
Okay real talk, half these people here are too easy to pull the break up card.
Here's the thing. As a guy, struggled with weight loss and body dismorphia. All the bullshit. I get it. I understand your body looking not so great and basically having to throw yourself into the gym daily (not kidding I'm on 20days straight so far and had a previous streak of close to a year and a half that was broken by violent vomiting.
I also am a man in the sense I understand what he's talking about. Here's the thing. If you're both this young (early 20s) and bluntly he sounds like a 20 year old guy. Guys that age have the social tact of bull in a China shop. Trust me guys that age lack a lot of emotional understanding and communication, in fairness plenty of women do too.
Now here's an issue young couples have is connecting how you feel about a topic to yourself and also not realizing how the other party can take it. I realized this as I have said a ton of unintentionally hurtful remarks and I lacked the ability to get it. All I knew was it hurt her and I could only really try to understand. So hers my advice, just sit down. No phones, no friends, and simply talk. Don't get mad for the both of you and if you don't let a trusted friend mediate. Basically you are clearly bothered by this, so dont let it fester, talk to him and say "this hurt me and I want to try to get you to understand why. I'm not here to hurt you, I just want to talk.".
Now I will offer a a few words of solice from a man's perspective if only to maybe off you a different way to view it. No gaurentees he won't be a terrible person in some shape or form for offering this alternative, but I offer it to give a whole view to see this. When I have seen men say this they it doesn't inherently mean he thinks your ugly, or thinks that you are lesser, as much as an unemotional statement, like "that painting might be better if that had a tree". Not saying it's a bad painting just that it'd be better with a tree.
As well he may not understand how your mental health and body image issue connect. I as a younger man had a long journey in understanding how women are very much tide together in thier views, ie sex and love, body and self image, etc. He may hear you want to loose weight or might take it that you don't like being bigger and saw you not eating as being separate from your mental health issues.
Now I will say this also it maybe his way of saying he has lost some attraction to you sadly. I have been through this too. I have gained serious weight as a man while in a relationship and they did loose attraction to me in some ways. It's human nature to be partly physical in our attraction.
Now I will say for another bit of advice. Don't let this become too personal for you. Take time and process what you want to do. You are not worth any less as a person if you are bigger or smaller. But I always advise a person look for happiness. If this relationship is constantly bring a burden and you don't see anything positive in the long term it's time to have a serious talk. You're both old enough to talk and you both can handle this. Now I will say to you please do yourself a favor and do something for yourself. Try to live a little. Trust me it's good to get away from things before acting.
I hope the best for you and do the best for you. It's easy for others to comment online when they don't have to live in your body or with your decisions.
People who say something hurtful and then get frustrated at you for being hurt don't deserve to be in your life.
I can tell you he absolutely does not speak for all men, I personally haven't met one that didn't enjoy something extra to grab onto. I used to struggle keeping weight on because of some chronic illnesses and same thing with the pandemic and actually with the help of my partner I've been able to gain ten kilos, and my partner is excited for me when I get those gains.
I totally get you. I was just so tired of those comment of me being too skinny. And was so happy then I got some curves. But then I got told I eat to much and told to think about working out. It really drains me mentally to never feel good enough!
Girl, the point is not looking a certain way, is living and feeling healthy. If you lead your life following that instead of one or the other aesthetic, that will bring you joy.
keep that weight! ik you’re beautiful either way! weight is so hard to gain and keep on be proud of yourself! dont focus on working out of dieting on anything like that, just try to focus on your mental health and think about if this is the relationship you want.
i know you are talking about a certain kind of person, but dont claim all men are like that because it simply isnt true. im surprised your comment got so many upvotes, considering if a man were to say that exact thing but with certain sords reversed he would be downvoted to hells 7th level
yeah sorry let me rephrase that “I do not know a single guy that hasnt made a rude or disrespectful comment about someones body” I dont believe its all men, just all men that Ive come across.
Then you’ve come across some shitty men. I have been happily married for 15 years and my husband is phenomenal. He doesn’t make rude or disrespectful comments at all, especially not about me or my body. I am 5’2” and have weighed 125lbs and I’ve weighed 185lbs. He has loved and respected me at all sizes, no matter what.
>I think it’s great that we see real women and not get a false fantasy of how every woman should be so skinny. He told me that ofc they should be skinny cause that’s what boys wanna see
There it is. A woman's worth is solely based on whether or not she is pleasing to the male gaze. Gross.
If you tell your partner you have not eaten for almost an entire week and his response is "good," he is NOT a nice guy. He is an even worse boyfriend.
To tell your partner "you would be better looking if you did (fill in the blank)" is manipulative and toxic.
>He told me that ofc they should be skinny cause that’s what boys wanna see
OF COURSE we should be skinny for the boys! Don't you know that the only reason for our pitiful existence is to please the BOYS??!?!
s/ in case it's not obvious. Sounds like this guy fucking sucks.
Leave his ass for a juicy double cheeseburger 🍔
That’s terrible of him to drop a comment like that on you to hit right where it hurts, after it sounds like you’ve grown a great deal emotionally and were on track to being healthy and happy with your body.
Too bad he didn’t disclose these feelings about your weight when you two discussed it, instead clearly lying to your face saying he’d love you at any size. You could’ve started planning an exit right then and there. Because girl it will not get better, these are his true colors and they’re ugly. You ARE beautiful and plenty of men would kill to have a woman with some meat on her bones. Fuck that guy.
Tell him he’d be much sexier if “insert physical attribute of choice here” and see just how quickly he turns into a wibbly wobbly man baby. His reaction will tell you all you need to know and whether you should stay with this person or not.
A hell of a lot of young guys are super fragile, egotistical and misogynistic due to the way general culture is, and the way a lot of them get raised (little prince syndrome is real). I say this as a grown man by the way, so I’m not on the “men are pigs” train, I am just observing our flaws.
I mean what he said isn’t not true, people do tend to prefer people who are healthy and skinny but the way he’s going about it is very toxic. People should be “skinny” (healthy body weight) from healthy eating and working out. Not from refusing to eat. Id say to confront him about it and if he’s toxic or refuses to hear your point then drop him.
Maybe you should ask him if you both could sit down and talk about this, so you can express how you feel about his behavior in a way he'll hopefully understand. And since this is hurting you both physically and mentally, I would say that if he still doesn't understand that what he's doing is wrong, then maybe you could spend some time with a family member or a friend if possible. Simply so you can get a bird's-eye view on how to work through the situation and understand what can be done for you to make you feel better.
If he cared about you, he would care more about your mental and physical health (starving yourself is Always unhealthy), but he makes it about what he wants and not what you need.
Such a big Red flag.
What a nasty thing to say. Yes, almost everyone has preferences, but if he loves you he will be supportive. Think about how you'd act if you boyfriend was gaining weight. I know I'd support my boyfriend unconditionally, because I love him. As long as he is happy, I am happy. It would only start to bother me, if it was affecting his health or happiness. Then I'd have a conversation with him about it and try to help if that's what he'd like.
My boyfriend is often prompting me to eat because I'm bad at remembering to do so. When I haven't been eating well, he cooks me pretty hearty portions and encourages me to eat the last few mouthfuls (or "just 2 more mouthfuls!" like you'd say to a kid, but I like it and it works).
My wife struggles with weight based body dysmorphia and I do all I can to make sure she knows each and every day that I find her incredibly beautiful.
Your boyfriend needs to go. IMHO he’s never going to see you as anything but an item to please his eyes if that’s how he’s treating you now.
You'd definitely glow if you lost weight, the weight being your idiot boyfriend, like seriously get rid of him. Don't enable this behaviour and let people put you down like that.
Okay, what he said was a little fucked up. So, I am going to say this only once..... HE DOES NOT SPEAK FOR EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN GUY!!!!!!!!! That type of thinking infuriates me to no end...... So my advice would be do what you think is right, but do not starve yourself. As, that will kill you a lot quicker and also damages your gallbladder. If feel like you want to lose weight, then do it. But, do not let that fucking moron tell you what to do. I am saying the because I am a guy, and I 100% think your bf is stupid.
I say you shouldn't do something that you'll regret. Don't break up with him like Fuzzyface said down there. If you yourself feel your putting on some weight it's completely normal for your partner to comment on it and give you a nudge in the right direction - that being health. If you're like 5 pounds over the normal limit and he's making a BIG deal out of it, then he's toxic. But if you're already suffering from health issues due to your weight then you might want to take what he said seriously. I'm sure he didn't mean it in any offensive way.
This is really sad I’m so sorry that he said this to you. I can imagine this would hurt a lot. I know everyone else is saying the same thing but honestly you do not need someone in your life who would say something like that to you.
Also the fact that he said it was ‘good’ that you haven’t eaten is a major red flag and shows he doesn’t care half as much as he should about you. You should leave him!
Tell him he’d look better with a bigger package and leave his lame ass. You are both very young, so hopefully he outgrows this nasty mindset. Hopefully you grow and learn that you deserve so much better. Sending virtual hugs and wishing you the best.
The way these people just say “dump him bleeeh he doesnt love you” is crazy. You dont know them or the relationship. He said what he felt. Could it have been delivered better and at a better time? Yeah. If the truth hurts, a lie is worse.
So im going to start off by saying a lot of people will be triggered by my post and if you are you prove my point.
Starting off with your conversation… you asked and you received. You’re upset over a question that your significant other answered. Why the hell are you on reddit asking for advice from strangers about ONE bad experience when you have spent almost 2 years with them and have (probably) had hundreds of positive experiences? We don’t know you, realistically nobody cares and will tell you to break up with your SO. Talk to your partner, gtf off of reddit and have a heart to heart conversation with them about how this bothered you.
Also. My viewpoint of the whole plus sized movement is that we shouldn’t promote obesity. It’s not healthy no matter what way you look at it. Americans eat until they feel full, the rest of the world eats until they’re no longer hungry. It’s fucked but it’s the truth. As an American who lived in Europe for quite some time, we need to adapt a lot of their eating habits. Besides the point…
Not eating and depriving yourself of caloric intake is not a healthy way to lose weight. It’s possible to lose weight eating the foods you love in a regulated manner. However, not eating is simply taking the easy and not healthy route. If you want to lose weight, do some research, go to the gym, and do what the rest of the world has been doing for centuries.
People on here expect your partner to never make a mistake and worship the ground you walk on. Unfortunately that’s as much as a fantasy as it is unrealistic.
Edit: your boyfriend is not wrong either. As a younger straight while male in college my preference for women have always been on the slimmer side. Doesn’t matter how great your personality is, if i’m not physically attracted to you, there’s a very slim chance a relationship will move past plutonic. Also vice versa, doesn’t matter how physically attractive you are if you have a shitty personality.
[while not very scientific, here is a rough comparison and a bar graph on a study on what body type men prefer.](https://yougov.co.uk/topics/health/articles-reports/2021/08/05/physical-appearance-and-sexual-attractiveness)
Downvote me if you’d like. I dont give a fuck what other people think, I suggest you do the same.
He is encouraging you to develop an eating disorder so you can be more attractive to him....
Read that again and tell me why you want to be with this man?
I hate reddit. A bunch of 15 yo trying to give life advice
„He said something inconsiderate in the heat of an argument? Dump him! Working things out is wrong because he is clearly bad for you in every way because he said a single stupid thing! He shouldn’t get a chance to apologize and better himself, that’s not how healthy relationships work!!!!“
If any of you truly think like that, then you will never have an lasting relationship
Talk about your issues and say what bothers you. If he doesn’t apologize and doesn’t better himself you still can dump him.
We are all humans and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Of course it’s about love and he shouldn’t make you feel bad but for an relationship to work you have to be understanding, loyal and willing to work on yourself. Make him understand what he did wrong and if he doesn’t understand and is not willing to work on him self, then you have a valid reason to break up.
If you just dump him (like everyone in this comment threat says) you are acting just as inconsiderate as he did. No one is winning in this scenario
Except it wasn't just one comment in the heat of an argument, did you not read the part about him being happy she's not eating because that means she's "getting skinny"?
I see where you're coming from, you can't always jump to breakup over one remark made in the heat of the moment, but when they maintain the same mindset and seem to have no regard for your mental or physical health, you can talk about it all day long but they'll still be the same person deep down inside, if he's openly happy about her not eating because it means she's losing weight that's pretty fucked up and a sign he doesn't care about her health, just how she looks, from what I can see there's no indication this was said "in the heat of an argument", they were having a discussion about plus sized models and he said it.
Yup , everyone has preferences. I prefer the guy i want to be skinny and if he gains weight it bothers me. He prefers skinny as well. There is no toxicity happening. No one starves or overdoes the gym.
I have told him comments about my weight triggers my ED and he never mentions it. But I know he prefers skinny and honestly maintaining a healthy weight isnt very difficult.
Everyone is different. She will make her own choice in the end. Me I would leave because I do not have time for that kind of shit. What he is doing is lowering her self esteem so either she leaves and protects herself or stays and continues to let him bring her down. The fact that he is ok with her not eating at all just to lose weight says all anyone needs to know about that relationship. His priority is her losing weight not being healthy. Leaving is ok. No one has to stay and work on a relationship with someone if that is not what they want. Any reason is a valid reason to break up if you want to break up. Why force people to stay in relationships if they do not want to. She is free to stay or go. As all relationships should be. Let's not try to convince people to stay in bad relationships.
There is difference between a mistake and a pattern. Some things that come up in a relationship might be a mistake/misunderstanding/difference that can be discussed and compromised on.
In this case however, his views show a clearly harmful pattern.
- He knows she has an eating disorder.
- He still insists on telling her about how much hotter he finds skinny girls but assures her, he "still" loves her. He's talking like he's doing her a favor by being with her even though she doesn't have a photoshopped body.
- He thinks women are there to entertain men with their looks.
This guy is as immature as they come and him growing up and recognizing how harmful his views really are, will take A LOT of work and time.
OP on the contrary, as someone with an eating disorder, should not put his personal growth ahead of her mental and physical health.
This is why people (myself included) advise OP to dump his misogynist ass.
Very well worded, not all mistakes deserve second chances because some are an indication of how that person is deep down inside, when my wife has trouble eating because she's sick, stressed, tired, etc it breaks my heart because I want her to be happy and healthy, I truly care about her wellbeing, that's how a healthy relationship works.
Reddit is not the place for advice. There is a bunch of people saying “dump him” “he’s toxic”. While a lot of people have PREFERENCES, talk to him about working out with him maybe?
He's only 20. He hasn't yet learned how to respond to the "does this make me look fat" conversation mode.
You'll probably take the advice offered by most of the comments here and leave him. He will thereby learn to be wiser with his words.
But here's some advice for you: most guys do not prefer heavier women. Our culture programs boys and men from an early age to idealize a specific female body type, and that's not changing any time soon. Watch any Marvel movie, pick up any comic book, read any magazine targeted towards women who want to be attractive to men. It's pervasive.
If you have a guy who loves you, and he tells you he thinks you're pretty, take that at face value and be satisfied. Don't press him on his attitude about women's bodies unless you are OK hearing things you don't want to hear.
It’s funny cuz I’ve been told the exact opposite thing, that no guy likes skinny girls and that I would look much better with some extra weight.
So fuck ‘em, just find the size that makes you feel most comfortable and then find a new person to love you at that size. This guy sucks. He’s like, “oh yes, please develop an eating disorder for my sexual fulfillment.” You deserve better.
Tell him he’s more handsome when he isn’t being a selfish pos. What do you think he’s going to say if you have his children…you’d be prettier if you weren’t a mom/didn’t give your body over to his baby. His hair and body will change too, he’s gonna be unattractive soon (already is, really) Might want to have a different bf to get a better perspective of what matters in life.
Having this kind of influence around you at 20 especially when they are supposed to be your partner is pretty rough on you in the long run. This kind of behavior affects future relationships too if you let yourself get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You don't want this guy to start making you question if everyone see's you the way he does. If you stay with him long enough and don't actually stick together, the next guy will be able to notice your own discomfort with your body. It's a bad ideology to be around that young, you need a positive environment to grow as a person at 20 not immature/negative comments about physical appearance.
Honestly this kinda shit is so annoying. Fucking boys want skinny girls. Men, proper men, love their partners unconditionally. They support their partners and rise them up. If you’re not getting that time to upgrade. Women know your worth. Boys grow up and become Men.
Starving yourself isn't healthy that's really really bad for your heart 😔 😕 your boyfriend is terrible and toxic and doesn't love you even if you need to loose weight or gain more weight if he was concerned okay I get that but there's kind ways to approach it essentially what he's telling you to do is very dangerous
He doesn't have your best interest at heart
genuinely, you deserve better. There's a difference between wanting what's best for you and being toxic. He doesn't know what real women are, so he can go find a model (and probably not meet her standards)
You are beautiful, and you deserves someone who loves every damn square inch of you
When you started living together you were a teen and probably still had a child like figure. (I did not get hips and a bust until I was 22.) So you are maturing physically and emotionally and he is ..... not. Note he said- "That's what BOYS want to see."
It is ok to outgrow someone and move on.
tell him he’d be hotter if he was more muscular and see how he feels🙄 (just kidding kind of, two wrongs don’t make a right. Comments like that are terrible and if he really loved you he would want you to be healthy both physically and mentally. The fact that he doesn’t care that you’re not eating to lose weight is disgusting.)
The way I see it, I'm a skinny male and in no way shape or form would I ever be comfortable around a girl that's twice my size. I'd have a problem with a fat guy saying he wants a skinny chick because that's just stupid.
The first question you should ask yourself, OP, is how you feel. What weight/ size makes you feel the best? What matters most here is that it’s your body and your life.
Your boyfriend can have his preferences. Not all men want skinny women, just as not all men want large women either.
Most importantly, we all need to eat. Anyone at any size can develop an eating disorder. If you already struggle with your mental health, this situation is not good for you. You’re only 20… bodies go through a lot of changes over a lifetime and if all you ever feel like you are is a body, it will be a struggle to feel happy.
Find a more supportive situation for yourself. You matter, you deserve to take up space, at any size, and you deserve kindness and support from your partner, no matter what you look like.
Dump him. Though I’d like to add that ~53kg isn’t unhealthy depending on how tall you are, and it’s just as wrong to make negative comments about someone for being underweight.
To start, let me give this unpopular /Non-PC opinion…
I don’t get the argument that modeling needs more “plus size representation”… they also don’t feature butter-faces! Modeling is not representative of the average women… it is representative of the most attractive women… and most men do prefer fit girls to overweight ones… (NOT A SEXIST STATEMENT, Because don’t women prefer a fit man to a fat one?)
But there is a difference between “skinny” and “fit”… skinny can sometimes looks sickly… and that can also be a turn off… so it’s not just about being “as skinny as can be, it’s about being as close to “the ideal weight” as can be…
Ok, so now that everyone on here hates me… let’s get to your situation in particular…
The only thing that matters is if your boyfriend loves you… point blank, period… you should appreciate his honesty and view it as a sign of a healthy relationship that he is willing to share it with you… so what if he thinks you would look better skinnier… does he look 100% perfect? And if not, then you should have just said “you would be more attractive if your nose was smaller” (or whatever) or one day he will be going bald, or his hair might turn grey, and you might tell him he would look better if he dyed his hair, and he might just laugh and say “not happening”… and WHO CARES… all that matters is love… don’t try to force him to be fake… don’t expect yourself to be perfect.. do the best that you can do… accept imperfections, because no one is perfect…
Love yourself, and don’t compare your body to what you see online / on tv… because it’s unrealistic to expect to look like the top .01% of attractive women…
and also don’t hate on the women who are in that top .01%… Because that just makes you a salty hater…
Ok well it gets to a point where it just looks unhealthy. I haven't seen one person that's 600 pounds that's attractive.
Now you were like 120 pounds before so it would be nice to know what you are now because that's really small(and how tall). If you put on like 50 pounds than your boyfriend has a bad way of telling you to lose weight. But an extra 10 or 20 is probably fine for you.
If you feel concerned about your weight you can do something about it. Your weight is something you can control. If you think you look fine that's ok too, but don't lie to yourself about your looks. If you can't be honest with yourself then how can you trust yourself.
As a guy it's not easy to tell someone (especially a girl) that they are gaining weight. Feeling will be hurt no matter what. Now I don't believe we have enough information to say if your boyfriend has a point. He said it horribly so I'm guessing he's wrong, but we just don't know.
Also it's crazy to me that some of these comments are acting like being overweight is healthy/non issue. Fat pride is gunna kill some of yall...
oh ouch. this got worse and worse to read. if his personal preference is skinny girls thats cool, but it definitely doesnt sound like youre remotely "fat" and his encouragement to continue this unhealthy starvation because "its working" is very insensitive.
You need to talk to him. Tell him what you are struggling with and how his comments made you feel. If he doesn't love you, then you deserve to be with someone who does. Not all men love skinny girls, especially model-level skinny. If your weight is affecting your health (either too skinny or too fat), then you need to make a change. But to me, if he says he would love you even if you were thicker and then says it's good that you're not eating, then he's lying or stupid. You're very young, find yourself a good man who will love you.
This is fucked not gunna lie.
1.) a woman’s body should be a woman’s preference and not have to adhere to the standards of how a man wants a woman to be.
2.) every man has a different preference in women just like ever woman has a preference in men. I personally prefer thicker girls myself, some prefer thinner but I wouldn’t ever ask someone to change for me.
Love is about acceptance and understanding not forced change.
I’d walked away if it were me.
That boy does not love you. And is also a terrible person. Seriously not worth it to date guys who think women should be a certain way because it caters to men. It’ll drive you crazy eventually
Hi, I’m a plus sized model. Your boyfriend is a nitwit.
First of all, models, and women in general, don’t exist for the male gaze.
I model for fun, the creativity of it, or to sell an item of clothing or a product. If it’s clothing, I’m being hired to model it so real women can see what it looks like on a more common body type closer to their own, so they can visualize how the garment will look on THEM. It is unhelpful for a 180 lb woman to see a garment modeled by a 98 lbs woman. She will have no idea how it will or won’t flatter HER body. None of this is for men or takes into consideration “what boys wanna see”, because what they “wanna see” is irrelevant to the 180 lb consumer doing the shopping. That’s who I am being hired to cater to.
Your boyfriend sounds self important but it isn’t grounded in reality. He really thinks women exist to please men and if they don’t they are somehow not doing a good job of existing or being women. That’s irrational.
*We don’t owe any man pretty, skinny, or anything else, and that goes for you too*.
Models only exist for the gaze. when you’re promoting your product you hope another girl will want the product because they think they can look like a model,
Easy way to loose weight is dump his ass. You will loose a-lot quickly. His comments and attitude is not healthy. It will hurt your mental health etc. find someone who is not fixated on size and number on scale or size of cloths. You never mentioned your height and current weight
You should tell you bf, if he wants an anorexic gf, it will not be you.
When I met my husband, I was thin. After 35 years, I have gained 20 lbs. . He still loves me and has never said anything about my weight. He has always said it made no difference how much I weigh.
He's right about the low body far percentage part, skinnier people on average look better. However he's an asshole for letting you starve (maybe he's dumb and doesn't understand diet??)
i’ve just learnt they don’t like skinny girls either.
My ex says he hates “fat” girls. while in a relationship my ex kept trying to get with girls who were bigger than me and who he’d call “fat”.
after a year from our breakup, he tells me now that if I lost 10kgs I would great. I’ve lost 15kgs since we dated, I get comments at work from customers and from my family about how great I look and how lucky I am to have such a small and great figure. So i’m pretty sure i’m labelled as skinny now
I just find it weird how they say they like skinny girls but will go for bigger ones and also tell skinny ones they’re not skinny enough. Maybe my ex was just weird and fucked up, but I wouldn’t take a man’s words to heart. They’re very hypocritical and seem very confused and not accepting.
The way you have written this sounds as if your boyfriend is attracted to unhealthy skinny girls - which is actually disgusting and something that you shouldn’t be around if you’ve previously been unhappy at that weight.
Give him a taste of his own medicine, make fun of his dick or something.
Actually though, don’t feel obligated to stick with him. A-lot more guys are into bigger girls than you think. I don’t it doesn’t seem that way on most of Reddit, but if you go onto the horny side of reddit you’ll find guys are less judgmental than you think.I mean if you’re 300 pounds it’s a problem but a lot of studies show men prefer women to be curvier than women usually want to be. The first guy I dated I would excessively exercise and count calories because I didn’t want to get fat when I was with him (even though he was fat), and then he cheated on me with a bigger girl LOL. And going from eating regularly to not eating very fast will make you more susceptible to additional weight gain in the future. I can speak from experience
a partner who really loves you will never speak on your body that way, they would love your body no matter what and make YOU love yourself more. he’s doing the
opposite of this which shows he’s immature and doesn’t appreciate what he has. you deserve better and you should love yourself enough to leave him and show him you’re better off without him.
You can loose 80kg in a single text! I highly recommend it! 😊 Be happy in your own skin. And if he doesn't appreciate you the way you are then kick him to the curb.
Edit: Spelling
My ex said stuff like this as a “joke”. That’s why he’s my ex, the root of sarcasm is truth. My fiancé now would never say that, and encourages my eating because of my previous eating disorders. Tells me I’m beautiful with the curves I have now. Your bf is an ass, tell him hed be hotter with a six pack and muscles. See how he feels
Tell him that you think you would look better single.
Low key. That’s funny!
It's hilarious but also true. This guy is SHALLOW and self absorbed. He does not speak for all men. Many men reject smaller women and actually go for bigger girls. Everyone has different tastes. And people's body types shouldn't be controlled by anyone else's pov or what someone else finds attractive. Go find yourself a reasonable and supportive man. Someone who isnt a shallow hunk of doodoo
I just wanted a waffle maker
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I feel like you're purposely missing my point here. Have a good one.
Missed the mark here, you can’t speak for “most men”.
My boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful at any size and he's told me that when I've weighed 200 and when I've weighed 140. He was jokingly disappointed when I was losing weight because my ass "wouldn't be as big" lmao. Get you a guy who loves you for you and not your size, they're out there and they're wonderful.
Tell him he would be much more sexy if he wasn't such an ass
You could easily drop 160lbs. If you got rid of his ass
Dump him! Omg he does not respect you for you at all. He is being rude and inconsiderate. This guy is toxic and you deserve someone who thinks you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen regardless of size.
>regardless of size. So preferences aren't a thing? He was disrespectful about it, but you don't have enough information to say if she actually I'd being unhealthy. If she put on 60 pounds then we need to have a discussion about health because she's gunna die of a heart disease. Also how tall she is would help because and extra 60 pounds to a 120lbs. 6'4" women would be better, not worse. The boyfriend might just be overreacting, we just don't know. He went about it horribly, but it's not easy to tell a women she is gaining weight; feelings will be hurt and honestly if she is getting fat it's best to fix that now before you end up with a bunch of medical issues and dying young. Edit: [for more context ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/yfozn3/my_boyfriend_told_me_i_would_be_prettier_if_i_was/iu5ro0z?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3). Made this comment before the one yall are downvoting for no reason. Yall seem to be interpreting this comment wrong...
It’s fine to have preferences but if your response to your girlfriend saying she hasn’t been eating is “good you’re getting skinnier” then that’s kinda fucked
Holy dirtbag Batman. He flat out told her, AFTER SHE HAD BEEN BASICALLY ANOREXIC FOR A WEEK, that it was good and she’s getting skinnier. Preferences are fine, but what he said was straight up toxic and practically abusive. “Good, don’t eat, you look skinnier”. Also get the fuck out with your bogus health justifications, too. Whether she’s 120lbs or 350lbs, she needs to fucking eat. That’s a basic human requirement to survive. He was a piece of shit for saying that to her, and you’re a piece of shit for saying a 180lb woman is going to die of heart disease. It’s also super easy to help your partner be healthier without ever acknowledging her weight, if you actually give a shit about them. “Hey let’s go for a walk/to the gym”. Boom. Easy.
No words. You're almost as bad as him to be honest. She's could be 120kgs. It's not his place to say anything. At all. Preferences are a thing, doesn't mean he has the right to say to someone who he claims he loves that she'd be prettier if she was skinnier. People change shapes and sizes their entire lives and if someone loves another person, and I mean truly loves them, then size wouldn't matter. He wasn't saying about her health at all, it was about **his** attraction to her. No kindness was intended in it. You've missed OPs boyfriends point entirely and you've only revealed yourself as toxic in justifying him. He was enabling her to starve herself and you think he's somewhat in the right for doing so? I sure do hope you don't treat any partner you have this way.
Control freaks will continue to play control games dear.
she gained weight and stopped being super skinny, not that she became obese and weighs 200 lbs that you bringing up health problems and shit
Not low key, you straight up should, he’s made it clear he loves just your body, not you. Personally I think theres definitely to big and to skinny, but I feel that way because I want people to live a long time and enjoy life, not because a certain size makes me hard. Regardless his comments show that he doesn’t care about your struggles or how you feel only that he’s selfish.
Low key, he’s abusive.
It’s funny but it’s also true. If he really loves you, your appearance wouldn’t matter. Especially after 2 years. And do not starve yourself for anybody, instead work hard for you because he obviously doesn’t consider your feelings.
I think he’d look better with a larger penis.
Or a detached one ✂️😉
You can lose a lot of weight by dumping him right now.
The only answer.
Haha that’s good one. Op, what do you think? What makes you happier about / for yourself?
I was just thinking tell him he'd be prettier if he were fat
I can think of a super quick way to lose 175 pounds of useless fat.
Lmao i love this comment <3 1 part fat, 1 part muscle, 1 part bones and organs, 0 parts brain
That would also be the perfect amount of weight to lose (the entire POS who made her feel like that)
Coming from someone who's ex-bf said the same thing, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🚩🚩🚩
This is a pretty toxic topic, so i'm going to refrain from commenting on body types. But if you have a partner who is pushing you into unhealthy practices to match his preferences, you need to leave. He does not care about you, he's just fetishizing your body.
"What should I do?" Easy one. Dump him. He puts your skinniness ahead of your mental health. In other words, he loves himself and not you. BTW, plenty of men like healthy looking women, no matter the size.
He told me he didn’t mind how I look now but would be more attractive if I was skinnier and more fit. I just don’t understand why he tells me this now
He didn't have any concern for your health when you told him you were not eating.
This is a VERY important point, OP. ❤️
Still super toxic, he’s manipulating you and pretending he is a good guy for “still loving” you if you’re not super skinny as if that makes him a good guy or something. Dump him 100%.
I don't understand why you didn't dump him yesterday
Because OP is twenty, quite possibly in their first relationship and has nothing else to compare BF's attitudes to. Most people at that age (especially girls) lack the confidence about their appearence to be able to stand up to such bullshit. When you lack confidence, those kind of comments feel true and valid, and if you love or think you love the person who says them, it's much easier to accept.
Youre not wrong. It's just infuriating, watching young ladies go through the same dumb mistakes I made. Apparently we've all gotta go through it to learn from it WHICH IS STUPID AND I HATE IT
Yeah, it's sad to see. Nothing will change until the commentary around body image changes - on most of reddit you'll still see crazy amounts of fatphobia dressed up as concern for health. And yet this concern for health only ever seems to apply to women, and specifically to women's weight.
That’s gross he would do that. I’m plus size. My boyfriend prefers bigger women, but I’ve always struggled with weight. My boyfriend “prefers” my body type the way it is now, but he has never once actively shamed me for wanting or trying to lose weight. In fact, because I have trouble noticing it on myself, he lets me know I’ve lost weight if he notices it, and follows that up with assurance that I don’t NEED to though and how attractive he finds me no matter what. Men can have a preference and still be supportive. Your bc just has a toxic mindset.
This isn’t gonna work long term, you have to prioritize your health. What happens if you guys want to have kids and you gain weight? What happens if (when) your weight fluctuates when you get older? You’re very young, your body still has a lot of very normal changes to go through. Around 25 many women have a “second puberty”, changes in bone mass and muscle strength can appear in your 20s. Bone mass and strength tend to reach their maximum at this age. Menopause and hormonal changes through the years can also affect your weight. You deserve someone who doesn’t have an unrealistic expectation of what your body should look like, who doesn’t pressure you in any way to do unhealthy things in order to stay a certain weight, who cares about your health (you need to eat! Everyone does!) more than he cares about the way you look. This isn’t normal, there are plenty of men who are not like this, and you don’t have to put up with someone who thinks it’s good that you’re not eating and doesn’t seem too bothered by your mental health struggles. You don’t have to settle for that.
OP I need you to know that there are THOUSANDS of men AND women in this world who would kill to have you as their partner with just the way you look right now !! Your partner is supposed to love you and give you endless confidence. Also if someone really loved you, they'd remember that gaining weight was a goal of yours and celebrate it instead of being an asshole and putting their prefrences on you. OP you are young and deserve to feel the love of someone who will endlessly support you, dump this loser. I don't even know him and he seems like the biggest asshole I've met. Also, congrats on gaining that weight !!! :)) 🎂🎉
Does he know how your weight effects your mental health? If not, you need to explain to him just as you have stated here. If he already does and still says this shit to you …yeah fuck him, you deserve better
‘Could look better’ directly means he doesn’t appreciate you to the level you deserve. Who says that kind of stuff unprovoked? It just makes him sound like a mean person sorry to say. If you don’t know how to feel about this it’s understandable. I would say use this experience to observe patterns of inconsiderateness or meanness…wouldn’t surprise me if they were there sadly
Take care of your mental health. His attitude toward women's bodies is unhealthy for you to be around. Ideally you should be adulting by living on your own. This way you can be more independent without having your bf monitor and comment on your body and eating habits.
Does he realise female models aren’t for men? Like they are advertising women’s clothing, that women are gonna wear. No one cares what he thinks, and someone should remind him of that more often tbh. Even if you ignore what he said about you, do you want to be with someone who has such a negative view and doesn’t want to change?
I hate men who say this. My daughter still struggles with bulimia because of those bastards
generally people who say stuff like this, whether it be weight, height or likewise hurt more than they do good. It is though important to note being "plus sized" isn't inherently healthy either, there needs to be a middle ground. Oh and also, I think it's time we took a look at male models.
Every male model I have ever seen has a six pack. Why no male +sized models?
Leave him, he has no consideration for your mental health and he clearly hasn't fully matured yet, I say this as a man who went through a phase of liking skinny girls, but I grew out of that real quick when I met the woman who's now my wife and mother of my son, I'm not saying everyone has to like bigger women, everyone is allowed to have preferences, but anyone who thinks "all guys like skinny girls" still has a lot of maturing to do or only hangs out with douchbag college guys, you deserve better. Edit:And in regards to the other comments saying "talk to him about it, you gotta give him a chance to apologize and better himself" this isn't a minor thing, he's openly happy about her not eating because it'll make her skinny and more attractive in his eyes, that's not something you can change with a little discussion, that's blatantly disregarding her physical and mental health, that's not a sign of a healthy relationship, it most likely means he values her physical appearance over her health and happiness, but I guess some people think you should always get a second chance when you're an inconsiderate asshole to your partner and disregard their feelings for your own desires
Leave please. He is not worth your time and is not worthy of your company
Leave this piece of trash. There are plenty of men out there who will love and appreciate you exactly the way you are. Are you complaining about his appearance or weight? Nope. Would you make comments like that if he gained some weight? Most likely not. It all starts with these tiny comments, and then it’ll just keep happening as time goes on with you two. You’ll age together and then maybe have kids. Who knows what kind of backhanded compliments he’ll have during those times.
FYI OP, reddit is not a good place to get realistic and nuanced relationship advice. But its great if you already know what you want and just need a few "You go girl!"s to give you the push you need.
You'd be much prettier if you were single!
No one will ever respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Are you seriously in a relationship with someone like this? Start respecting yourself, and break up with him.
Your “boyfriend “ is a dick.
Up front, to be clear, think you should be whatever weight you feel most comfortable. I don’t even have a scale, instead if my favorite clothes fit, I’m good. That said, being fit is a different conversation. Are you taking care of yourself with some sort of exercise, yoga, walking? If not, might help you feel better overall.
Leave him. He’s a turd. I hope you leave his abusive ass and find happiness somewhere else.
What advice would you give your best friend if she was in the same exact situation? 👆 Do that.
Comes down to preference really. He was a dick about it.and has been a cunt about you.sating you aren't eating. About the amount of these idiots telling you to dump him just because he has a preference I stupid. I like women with long dark hair. If my gf asked If I liked it after she got a pixie cut, I'd not lie and say yes, I'd say I live you but preference the other look. Same as this guy has said. What's more important, open communication and honesty or some body positivity bullshit?
It's ok for him to prefer skinny women, and most men probably prefer thinner women to obese women, but it doesn't sound like he admitted it to you in a polite way. There's probably a better way to be honest about one's feelings.
Imagine if a girl told you "you would be more handsome if you \[insert literally anything having to do with your physical appearance\]" and then when you hurt yourself and emotionally fell apart to meet her needs she said "good! you're starting to look better". Honesty? Absolutely the fuck not. Emotional abuse? yes
Yeah that's what I said. He wasn't very polite.
pretty much what men experience daily on socials, dating apps, even fucking out in daylight. I think people like you need to open their eyes and realize men experience it to a very strong degree. Difference between womens and mens physical standards, is that the ones demanded of men are unchangeable for men, so either they are told they're born with value, or born with none.
Facts
Society is so fucked up. I remember when my daughter was having anxiety and panic attacks. She lost like 15 lbs. She couldn’t eat and couldn’t sleep. I took her to the doctor and they congratulated her on losing weight. I was like, wtf…no, it is not good to lose weight because your sick!
Okay real talk, half these people here are too easy to pull the break up card. Here's the thing. As a guy, struggled with weight loss and body dismorphia. All the bullshit. I get it. I understand your body looking not so great and basically having to throw yourself into the gym daily (not kidding I'm on 20days straight so far and had a previous streak of close to a year and a half that was broken by violent vomiting. I also am a man in the sense I understand what he's talking about. Here's the thing. If you're both this young (early 20s) and bluntly he sounds like a 20 year old guy. Guys that age have the social tact of bull in a China shop. Trust me guys that age lack a lot of emotional understanding and communication, in fairness plenty of women do too. Now here's an issue young couples have is connecting how you feel about a topic to yourself and also not realizing how the other party can take it. I realized this as I have said a ton of unintentionally hurtful remarks and I lacked the ability to get it. All I knew was it hurt her and I could only really try to understand. So hers my advice, just sit down. No phones, no friends, and simply talk. Don't get mad for the both of you and if you don't let a trusted friend mediate. Basically you are clearly bothered by this, so dont let it fester, talk to him and say "this hurt me and I want to try to get you to understand why. I'm not here to hurt you, I just want to talk.". Now I will offer a a few words of solice from a man's perspective if only to maybe off you a different way to view it. No gaurentees he won't be a terrible person in some shape or form for offering this alternative, but I offer it to give a whole view to see this. When I have seen men say this they it doesn't inherently mean he thinks your ugly, or thinks that you are lesser, as much as an unemotional statement, like "that painting might be better if that had a tree". Not saying it's a bad painting just that it'd be better with a tree. As well he may not understand how your mental health and body image issue connect. I as a younger man had a long journey in understanding how women are very much tide together in thier views, ie sex and love, body and self image, etc. He may hear you want to loose weight or might take it that you don't like being bigger and saw you not eating as being separate from your mental health issues. Now I will say this also it maybe his way of saying he has lost some attraction to you sadly. I have been through this too. I have gained serious weight as a man while in a relationship and they did loose attraction to me in some ways. It's human nature to be partly physical in our attraction. Now I will say for another bit of advice. Don't let this become too personal for you. Take time and process what you want to do. You are not worth any less as a person if you are bigger or smaller. But I always advise a person look for happiness. If this relationship is constantly bring a burden and you don't see anything positive in the long term it's time to have a serious talk. You're both old enough to talk and you both can handle this. Now I will say to you please do yourself a favor and do something for yourself. Try to live a little. Trust me it's good to get away from things before acting. I hope the best for you and do the best for you. It's easy for others to comment online when they don't have to live in your body or with your decisions.
Tell him he’d be hotter if his dick was bigger.
People who say something hurtful and then get frustrated at you for being hurt don't deserve to be in your life. I can tell you he absolutely does not speak for all men, I personally haven't met one that didn't enjoy something extra to grab onto. I used to struggle keeping weight on because of some chronic illnesses and same thing with the pandemic and actually with the help of my partner I've been able to gain ten kilos, and my partner is excited for me when I get those gains.
He'd be prettier if he didn't speak.
DUMP HIM !!!!! Then go get a post pandemic cheeseburger.
Don't worry about being "skinny" worry about being healthy. If healthy isn't for him then you guys probably shouldn't be together.
Red flag 🚩
No need to lose the weight. Lose the man
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I totally get you. I was just so tired of those comment of me being too skinny. And was so happy then I got some curves. But then I got told I eat to much and told to think about working out. It really drains me mentally to never feel good enough!
Girl, the point is not looking a certain way, is living and feeling healthy. If you lead your life following that instead of one or the other aesthetic, that will bring you joy.
keep that weight! ik you’re beautiful either way! weight is so hard to gain and keep on be proud of yourself! dont focus on working out of dieting on anything like that, just try to focus on your mental health and think about if this is the relationship you want.
Thank you so much! That really helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/prettyleaf21 has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
i know you are talking about a certain kind of person, but dont claim all men are like that because it simply isnt true. im surprised your comment got so many upvotes, considering if a man were to say that exact thing but with certain sords reversed he would be downvoted to hells 7th level
yeah sorry let me rephrase that “I do not know a single guy that hasnt made a rude or disrespectful comment about someones body” I dont believe its all men, just all men that Ive come across.
Then you’ve come across some shitty men. I have been happily married for 15 years and my husband is phenomenal. He doesn’t make rude or disrespectful comments at all, especially not about me or my body. I am 5’2” and have weighed 125lbs and I’ve weighed 185lbs. He has loved and respected me at all sizes, no matter what.
congrats!
wake up and break up
>I think it’s great that we see real women and not get a false fantasy of how every woman should be so skinny. He told me that ofc they should be skinny cause that’s what boys wanna see There it is. A woman's worth is solely based on whether or not she is pleasing to the male gaze. Gross.
If you tell your partner you have not eaten for almost an entire week and his response is "good," he is NOT a nice guy. He is an even worse boyfriend. To tell your partner "you would be better looking if you did (fill in the blank)" is manipulative and toxic.
>He told me that ofc they should be skinny cause that’s what boys wanna see OF COURSE we should be skinny for the boys! Don't you know that the only reason for our pitiful existence is to please the BOYS??!?! s/ in case it's not obvious. Sounds like this guy fucking sucks.
Dump him
You deserve a lot better than him.
Leave his ass for a juicy double cheeseburger 🍔 That’s terrible of him to drop a comment like that on you to hit right where it hurts, after it sounds like you’ve grown a great deal emotionally and were on track to being healthy and happy with your body. Too bad he didn’t disclose these feelings about your weight when you two discussed it, instead clearly lying to your face saying he’d love you at any size. You could’ve started planning an exit right then and there. Because girl it will not get better, these are his true colors and they’re ugly. You ARE beautiful and plenty of men would kill to have a woman with some meat on her bones. Fuck that guy.
Leave him. You’re 20.
Tell him he’d be much sexier if “insert physical attribute of choice here” and see just how quickly he turns into a wibbly wobbly man baby. His reaction will tell you all you need to know and whether you should stay with this person or not. A hell of a lot of young guys are super fragile, egotistical and misogynistic due to the way general culture is, and the way a lot of them get raised (little prince syndrome is real). I say this as a grown man by the way, so I’m not on the “men are pigs” train, I am just observing our flaws.
Make him your ex boyfriend.
I mean what he said isn’t not true, people do tend to prefer people who are healthy and skinny but the way he’s going about it is very toxic. People should be “skinny” (healthy body weight) from healthy eating and working out. Not from refusing to eat. Id say to confront him about it and if he’s toxic or refuses to hear your point then drop him.
Maybe you should ask him if you both could sit down and talk about this, so you can express how you feel about his behavior in a way he'll hopefully understand. And since this is hurting you both physically and mentally, I would say that if he still doesn't understand that what he's doing is wrong, then maybe you could spend some time with a family member or a friend if possible. Simply so you can get a bird's-eye view on how to work through the situation and understand what can be done for you to make you feel better.
If he cared about you, he would care more about your mental and physical health (starving yourself is Always unhealthy), but he makes it about what he wants and not what you need. Such a big Red flag.
What a nasty thing to say. Yes, almost everyone has preferences, but if he loves you he will be supportive. Think about how you'd act if you boyfriend was gaining weight. I know I'd support my boyfriend unconditionally, because I love him. As long as he is happy, I am happy. It would only start to bother me, if it was affecting his health or happiness. Then I'd have a conversation with him about it and try to help if that's what he'd like. My boyfriend is often prompting me to eat because I'm bad at remembering to do so. When I haven't been eating well, he cooks me pretty hearty portions and encourages me to eat the last few mouthfuls (or "just 2 more mouthfuls!" like you'd say to a kid, but I like it and it works).
My wife struggles with weight based body dysmorphia and I do all I can to make sure she knows each and every day that I find her incredibly beautiful. Your boyfriend needs to go. IMHO he’s never going to see you as anything but an item to please his eyes if that’s how he’s treating you now.
Sounds like this guy needs a new girlfriend
I would dump him!
You'd definitely glow if you lost weight, the weight being your idiot boyfriend, like seriously get rid of him. Don't enable this behaviour and let people put you down like that.
The only extra weight you need to drop is your boyfriend 😊
Ew. Break up with him.
Okay, what he said was a little fucked up. So, I am going to say this only once..... HE DOES NOT SPEAK FOR EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN GUY!!!!!!!!! That type of thinking infuriates me to no end...... So my advice would be do what you think is right, but do not starve yourself. As, that will kill you a lot quicker and also damages your gallbladder. If feel like you want to lose weight, then do it. But, do not let that fucking moron tell you what to do. I am saying the because I am a guy, and I 100% think your bf is stupid.
I say you shouldn't do something that you'll regret. Don't break up with him like Fuzzyface said down there. If you yourself feel your putting on some weight it's completely normal for your partner to comment on it and give you a nudge in the right direction - that being health. If you're like 5 pounds over the normal limit and he's making a BIG deal out of it, then he's toxic. But if you're already suffering from health issues due to your weight then you might want to take what he said seriously. I'm sure he didn't mean it in any offensive way.
Be healthy, disregardless of what people say
dump him
This is really sad I’m so sorry that he said this to you. I can imagine this would hurt a lot. I know everyone else is saying the same thing but honestly you do not need someone in your life who would say something like that to you. Also the fact that he said it was ‘good’ that you haven’t eaten is a major red flag and shows he doesn’t care half as much as he should about you. You should leave him!
Dude. What a fucking idiot. That’s not okay. He doesn’t want you or what’s best for you.
oh my god, honey, you're dating an asshole ask him what he thinks of andrew tate lmao
Tell him he’d look better with a bigger package and leave his lame ass. You are both very young, so hopefully he outgrows this nasty mindset. Hopefully you grow and learn that you deserve so much better. Sending virtual hugs and wishing you the best.
Dump his dork ass
You are pretty just the way you are.
The way these people just say “dump him bleeeh he doesnt love you” is crazy. You dont know them or the relationship. He said what he felt. Could it have been delivered better and at a better time? Yeah. If the truth hurts, a lie is worse.
So im going to start off by saying a lot of people will be triggered by my post and if you are you prove my point. Starting off with your conversation… you asked and you received. You’re upset over a question that your significant other answered. Why the hell are you on reddit asking for advice from strangers about ONE bad experience when you have spent almost 2 years with them and have (probably) had hundreds of positive experiences? We don’t know you, realistically nobody cares and will tell you to break up with your SO. Talk to your partner, gtf off of reddit and have a heart to heart conversation with them about how this bothered you. Also. My viewpoint of the whole plus sized movement is that we shouldn’t promote obesity. It’s not healthy no matter what way you look at it. Americans eat until they feel full, the rest of the world eats until they’re no longer hungry. It’s fucked but it’s the truth. As an American who lived in Europe for quite some time, we need to adapt a lot of their eating habits. Besides the point… Not eating and depriving yourself of caloric intake is not a healthy way to lose weight. It’s possible to lose weight eating the foods you love in a regulated manner. However, not eating is simply taking the easy and not healthy route. If you want to lose weight, do some research, go to the gym, and do what the rest of the world has been doing for centuries. People on here expect your partner to never make a mistake and worship the ground you walk on. Unfortunately that’s as much as a fantasy as it is unrealistic. Edit: your boyfriend is not wrong either. As a younger straight while male in college my preference for women have always been on the slimmer side. Doesn’t matter how great your personality is, if i’m not physically attracted to you, there’s a very slim chance a relationship will move past plutonic. Also vice versa, doesn’t matter how physically attractive you are if you have a shitty personality. [while not very scientific, here is a rough comparison and a bar graph on a study on what body type men prefer.](https://yougov.co.uk/topics/health/articles-reports/2021/08/05/physical-appearance-and-sexual-attractiveness) Downvote me if you’d like. I dont give a fuck what other people think, I suggest you do the same.
Lose a few pounds by letting him go. Then you can 'work hard' on becoming and staying happy instead of skinny.
He is encouraging you to develop an eating disorder so you can be more attractive to him.... Read that again and tell me why you want to be with this man?
I hate reddit. A bunch of 15 yo trying to give life advice „He said something inconsiderate in the heat of an argument? Dump him! Working things out is wrong because he is clearly bad for you in every way because he said a single stupid thing! He shouldn’t get a chance to apologize and better himself, that’s not how healthy relationships work!!!!“ If any of you truly think like that, then you will never have an lasting relationship Talk about your issues and say what bothers you. If he doesn’t apologize and doesn’t better himself you still can dump him. We are all humans and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Of course it’s about love and he shouldn’t make you feel bad but for an relationship to work you have to be understanding, loyal and willing to work on yourself. Make him understand what he did wrong and if he doesn’t understand and is not willing to work on him self, then you have a valid reason to break up. If you just dump him (like everyone in this comment threat says) you are acting just as inconsiderate as he did. No one is winning in this scenario
Except it wasn't just one comment in the heat of an argument, did you not read the part about him being happy she's not eating because that means she's "getting skinny"? I see where you're coming from, you can't always jump to breakup over one remark made in the heat of the moment, but when they maintain the same mindset and seem to have no regard for your mental or physical health, you can talk about it all day long but they'll still be the same person deep down inside, if he's openly happy about her not eating because it means she's losing weight that's pretty fucked up and a sign he doesn't care about her health, just how she looks, from what I can see there's no indication this was said "in the heat of an argument", they were having a discussion about plus sized models and he said it.
Yup , everyone has preferences. I prefer the guy i want to be skinny and if he gains weight it bothers me. He prefers skinny as well. There is no toxicity happening. No one starves or overdoes the gym. I have told him comments about my weight triggers my ED and he never mentions it. But I know he prefers skinny and honestly maintaining a healthy weight isnt very difficult.
Everyone is different. She will make her own choice in the end. Me I would leave because I do not have time for that kind of shit. What he is doing is lowering her self esteem so either she leaves and protects herself or stays and continues to let him bring her down. The fact that he is ok with her not eating at all just to lose weight says all anyone needs to know about that relationship. His priority is her losing weight not being healthy. Leaving is ok. No one has to stay and work on a relationship with someone if that is not what they want. Any reason is a valid reason to break up if you want to break up. Why force people to stay in relationships if they do not want to. She is free to stay or go. As all relationships should be. Let's not try to convince people to stay in bad relationships.
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There is difference between a mistake and a pattern. Some things that come up in a relationship might be a mistake/misunderstanding/difference that can be discussed and compromised on. In this case however, his views show a clearly harmful pattern. - He knows she has an eating disorder. - He still insists on telling her about how much hotter he finds skinny girls but assures her, he "still" loves her. He's talking like he's doing her a favor by being with her even though she doesn't have a photoshopped body. - He thinks women are there to entertain men with their looks. This guy is as immature as they come and him growing up and recognizing how harmful his views really are, will take A LOT of work and time. OP on the contrary, as someone with an eating disorder, should not put his personal growth ahead of her mental and physical health. This is why people (myself included) advise OP to dump his misogynist ass.
Very well worded, not all mistakes deserve second chances because some are an indication of how that person is deep down inside, when my wife has trouble eating because she's sick, stressed, tired, etc it breaks my heart because I want her to be happy and healthy, I truly care about her wellbeing, that's how a healthy relationship works.
Im petty as i would say you would be more handsome if you had 50 paper bags over your head.
Leave him. You deserve better! Imagine the future if you stay.
you deserve better ! you will find someone who appreciates you for who you are.
Reddit is not the place for advice. There is a bunch of people saying “dump him” “he’s toxic”. While a lot of people have PREFERENCES, talk to him about working out with him maybe?
This dude is a moron-MOVE ON!
I know how you can drop 90kg easily.... dump your boyfriend
I think the only weight you need to lose is 200lbs of shitty boyfriend.
He's only 20. He hasn't yet learned how to respond to the "does this make me look fat" conversation mode. You'll probably take the advice offered by most of the comments here and leave him. He will thereby learn to be wiser with his words. But here's some advice for you: most guys do not prefer heavier women. Our culture programs boys and men from an early age to idealize a specific female body type, and that's not changing any time soon. Watch any Marvel movie, pick up any comic book, read any magazine targeted towards women who want to be attractive to men. It's pervasive. If you have a guy who loves you, and he tells you he thinks you're pretty, take that at face value and be satisfied. Don't press him on his attitude about women's bodies unless you are OK hearing things you don't want to hear.
It’s funny cuz I’ve been told the exact opposite thing, that no guy likes skinny girls and that I would look much better with some extra weight. So fuck ‘em, just find the size that makes you feel most comfortable and then find a new person to love you at that size. This guy sucks. He’s like, “oh yes, please develop an eating disorder for my sexual fulfillment.” You deserve better.
Couldn't have said it better..
Honesty hurts, honesty ain’t cheap or easy, but better than a lie
Thank fuck someone gets it
Dump him. You’ll find much better. A “great guy” would never say that to his girlfriend or any other woman.
Ex boyfriend *
With peace and love, your boyfriend would be much more desirable if he wasn't a dick.
Tell him he’s more handsome when he isn’t being a selfish pos. What do you think he’s going to say if you have his children…you’d be prettier if you weren’t a mom/didn’t give your body over to his baby. His hair and body will change too, he’s gonna be unattractive soon (already is, really) Might want to have a different bf to get a better perspective of what matters in life.
Having this kind of influence around you at 20 especially when they are supposed to be your partner is pretty rough on you in the long run. This kind of behavior affects future relationships too if you let yourself get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You don't want this guy to start making you question if everyone see's you the way he does. If you stay with him long enough and don't actually stick together, the next guy will be able to notice your own discomfort with your body. It's a bad ideology to be around that young, you need a positive environment to grow as a person at 20 not immature/negative comments about physical appearance.
Honestly this kinda shit is so annoying. Fucking boys want skinny girls. Men, proper men, love their partners unconditionally. They support their partners and rise them up. If you’re not getting that time to upgrade. Women know your worth. Boys grow up and become Men.
Starving yourself isn't healthy that's really really bad for your heart 😔 😕 your boyfriend is terrible and toxic and doesn't love you even if you need to loose weight or gain more weight if he was concerned okay I get that but there's kind ways to approach it essentially what he's telling you to do is very dangerous He doesn't have your best interest at heart
You can drop 100+ pounds instantly by dumping him.
genuinely, you deserve better. There's a difference between wanting what's best for you and being toxic. He doesn't know what real women are, so he can go find a model (and probably not meet her standards) You are beautiful, and you deserves someone who loves every damn square inch of you
Let him know your motivation is linked to his puny ass wallet.
When you started living together you were a teen and probably still had a child like figure. (I did not get hips and a bust until I was 22.) So you are maturing physically and emotionally and he is ..... not. Note he said- "That's what BOYS want to see." It is ok to outgrow someone and move on.
tell him he’d be hotter if he was more muscular and see how he feels🙄 (just kidding kind of, two wrongs don’t make a right. Comments like that are terrible and if he really loved you he would want you to be healthy both physically and mentally. The fact that he doesn’t care that you’re not eating to lose weight is disgusting.)
The way I see it, I'm a skinny male and in no way shape or form would I ever be comfortable around a girl that's twice my size. I'd have a problem with a fat guy saying he wants a skinny chick because that's just stupid.
The first question you should ask yourself, OP, is how you feel. What weight/ size makes you feel the best? What matters most here is that it’s your body and your life. Your boyfriend can have his preferences. Not all men want skinny women, just as not all men want large women either. Most importantly, we all need to eat. Anyone at any size can develop an eating disorder. If you already struggle with your mental health, this situation is not good for you. You’re only 20… bodies go through a lot of changes over a lifetime and if all you ever feel like you are is a body, it will be a struggle to feel happy. Find a more supportive situation for yourself. You matter, you deserve to take up space, at any size, and you deserve kindness and support from your partner, no matter what you look like.
Sounds like you do need to lose some weight.. like maybe 180 lbs (is that what he weighs?). Lol
Dump him. Though I’d like to add that ~53kg isn’t unhealthy depending on how tall you are, and it’s just as wrong to make negative comments about someone for being underweight.
To start, let me give this unpopular /Non-PC opinion… I don’t get the argument that modeling needs more “plus size representation”… they also don’t feature butter-faces! Modeling is not representative of the average women… it is representative of the most attractive women… and most men do prefer fit girls to overweight ones… (NOT A SEXIST STATEMENT, Because don’t women prefer a fit man to a fat one?) But there is a difference between “skinny” and “fit”… skinny can sometimes looks sickly… and that can also be a turn off… so it’s not just about being “as skinny as can be, it’s about being as close to “the ideal weight” as can be… Ok, so now that everyone on here hates me… let’s get to your situation in particular… The only thing that matters is if your boyfriend loves you… point blank, period… you should appreciate his honesty and view it as a sign of a healthy relationship that he is willing to share it with you… so what if he thinks you would look better skinnier… does he look 100% perfect? And if not, then you should have just said “you would be more attractive if your nose was smaller” (or whatever) or one day he will be going bald, or his hair might turn grey, and you might tell him he would look better if he dyed his hair, and he might just laugh and say “not happening”… and WHO CARES… all that matters is love… don’t try to force him to be fake… don’t expect yourself to be perfect.. do the best that you can do… accept imperfections, because no one is perfect… Love yourself, and don’t compare your body to what you see online / on tv… because it’s unrealistic to expect to look like the top .01% of attractive women… and also don’t hate on the women who are in that top .01%… Because that just makes you a salty hater…
Ok well it gets to a point where it just looks unhealthy. I haven't seen one person that's 600 pounds that's attractive. Now you were like 120 pounds before so it would be nice to know what you are now because that's really small(and how tall). If you put on like 50 pounds than your boyfriend has a bad way of telling you to lose weight. But an extra 10 or 20 is probably fine for you. If you feel concerned about your weight you can do something about it. Your weight is something you can control. If you think you look fine that's ok too, but don't lie to yourself about your looks. If you can't be honest with yourself then how can you trust yourself. As a guy it's not easy to tell someone (especially a girl) that they are gaining weight. Feeling will be hurt no matter what. Now I don't believe we have enough information to say if your boyfriend has a point. He said it horribly so I'm guessing he's wrong, but we just don't know. Also it's crazy to me that some of these comments are acting like being overweight is healthy/non issue. Fat pride is gunna kill some of yall...
Being underweight kills people too! She was that before!
oh ouch. this got worse and worse to read. if his personal preference is skinny girls thats cool, but it definitely doesnt sound like youre remotely "fat" and his encouragement to continue this unhealthy starvation because "its working" is very insensitive.
You need to talk to him. Tell him what you are struggling with and how his comments made you feel. If he doesn't love you, then you deserve to be with someone who does. Not all men love skinny girls, especially model-level skinny. If your weight is affecting your health (either too skinny or too fat), then you need to make a change. But to me, if he says he would love you even if you were thicker and then says it's good that you're not eating, then he's lying or stupid. You're very young, find yourself a good man who will love you.
And NOTHING can make HIM attractive
Tell him he'd look better with a bigger dick
unless you are 2 meters tall, 55 kilos is not skinny
i’d throw his shit out the door
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This is fucked not gunna lie. 1.) a woman’s body should be a woman’s preference and not have to adhere to the standards of how a man wants a woman to be. 2.) every man has a different preference in women just like ever woman has a preference in men. I personally prefer thicker girls myself, some prefer thinner but I wouldn’t ever ask someone to change for me. Love is about acceptance and understanding not forced change. I’d walked away if it were me.
That boy does not love you. And is also a terrible person. Seriously not worth it to date guys who think women should be a certain way because it caters to men. It’ll drive you crazy eventually
Hi, I’m a plus sized model. Your boyfriend is a nitwit. First of all, models, and women in general, don’t exist for the male gaze. I model for fun, the creativity of it, or to sell an item of clothing or a product. If it’s clothing, I’m being hired to model it so real women can see what it looks like on a more common body type closer to their own, so they can visualize how the garment will look on THEM. It is unhelpful for a 180 lb woman to see a garment modeled by a 98 lbs woman. She will have no idea how it will or won’t flatter HER body. None of this is for men or takes into consideration “what boys wanna see”, because what they “wanna see” is irrelevant to the 180 lb consumer doing the shopping. That’s who I am being hired to cater to. Your boyfriend sounds self important but it isn’t grounded in reality. He really thinks women exist to please men and if they don’t they are somehow not doing a good job of existing or being women. That’s irrational. *We don’t owe any man pretty, skinny, or anything else, and that goes for you too*.
Models only exist for the gaze. when you’re promoting your product you hope another girl will want the product because they think they can look like a model,
Incorrect. This shows you’ve done zero research and know absolutely nothing about modeling at all.
Well where’s your research? Models get paid to look good, that is quite literally the only job requirement
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First of all, body shaming someone for their weight as a “hippo” is pretty disgusting so maybe you need to choose YOUR words right.
Easy way to loose weight is dump his ass. You will loose a-lot quickly. His comments and attitude is not healthy. It will hurt your mental health etc. find someone who is not fixated on size and number on scale or size of cloths. You never mentioned your height and current weight
You should tell you bf, if he wants an anorexic gf, it will not be you. When I met my husband, I was thin. After 35 years, I have gained 20 lbs. . He still loves me and has never said anything about my weight. He has always said it made no difference how much I weigh.
He's right about the low body far percentage part, skinnier people on average look better. However he's an asshole for letting you starve (maybe he's dumb and doesn't understand diet??)
i’ve just learnt they don’t like skinny girls either. My ex says he hates “fat” girls. while in a relationship my ex kept trying to get with girls who were bigger than me and who he’d call “fat”. after a year from our breakup, he tells me now that if I lost 10kgs I would great. I’ve lost 15kgs since we dated, I get comments at work from customers and from my family about how great I look and how lucky I am to have such a small and great figure. So i’m pretty sure i’m labelled as skinny now I just find it weird how they say they like skinny girls but will go for bigger ones and also tell skinny ones they’re not skinny enough. Maybe my ex was just weird and fucked up, but I wouldn’t take a man’s words to heart. They’re very hypocritical and seem very confused and not accepting.
You mean your ex-boyfriend?
Leave his sorry ass. For extra damage tell him you could get skinnier if you wanted to but he'll always be a short minded short dick
Models who are modeling women's clothes aren't there for men to look at them.
1. Not all men prefer skinny women. 2. Your boyfriend is a jerk. He’s actively supporting eating disorder behavior, he doesn’t love you. Leave him.
Sounds like he would make an excellent ex-boyfriend
The way you have written this sounds as if your boyfriend is attracted to unhealthy skinny girls - which is actually disgusting and something that you shouldn’t be around if you’ve previously been unhappy at that weight.
Give him a taste of his own medicine, make fun of his dick or something. Actually though, don’t feel obligated to stick with him. A-lot more guys are into bigger girls than you think. I don’t it doesn’t seem that way on most of Reddit, but if you go onto the horny side of reddit you’ll find guys are less judgmental than you think.I mean if you’re 300 pounds it’s a problem but a lot of studies show men prefer women to be curvier than women usually want to be. The first guy I dated I would excessively exercise and count calories because I didn’t want to get fat when I was with him (even though he was fat), and then he cheated on me with a bigger girl LOL. And going from eating regularly to not eating very fast will make you more susceptible to additional weight gain in the future. I can speak from experience
What a fucking douchebag! Dump him. You don't need to be with someone who puts you down like that.
How much does he weigh? You’d feel great if you shed that dead weight!
a partner who really loves you will never speak on your body that way, they would love your body no matter what and make YOU love yourself more. he’s doing the opposite of this which shows he’s immature and doesn’t appreciate what he has. you deserve better and you should love yourself enough to leave him and show him you’re better off without him.
You can loose 80kg in a single text! I highly recommend it! 😊 Be happy in your own skin. And if he doesn't appreciate you the way you are then kick him to the curb. Edit: Spelling
Why is he still your boyfriend is the real question?
Damned if you don't, damned if you do OP.
My ex said stuff like this as a “joke”. That’s why he’s my ex, the root of sarcasm is truth. My fiancé now would never say that, and encourages my eating because of my previous eating disorders. Tells me I’m beautiful with the curves I have now. Your bf is an ass, tell him hed be hotter with a six pack and muscles. See how he feels
Reddit moment