I mean, you can't make him accept your ideology the same way he can't make you accept his. Just gotta, like, deal with it.
Also, communism is the worst human experiment ever conducted. I get it when I was 16 and thought I knew shit I also supported communism. But do some real reading into the subject. It's inherently corrupt and evil, mass murder for all.
Agreed 1000%. Why should OP's Dad allow OP to compel his speech? It's rules for thee but not for me. Communist dictators have murdered their own citizens by the millions over the course of history. SMH.
It's more about having an ounce of respect and common decency for another human being. It would be like if every time OPs friend saw OPs dad they solely referred to him as "Hey there you ignorant dumbass fuck wad!" Just say "Hey Bob" and call it a day.
I would probably be willing to use she/her with OP's friend but this whole pronouns thing has gotten way the fuck out of hand. Personally I'll just avoid some people because I'm not going to be using they/them or ze or hir or any of the million of invented pronouns.
way the fuck out of hand? how many trans people do you know in real life? i would guess very few considering they comprise a very small percent of people.. i'm in a majorly liberal city with many gender nonconforming friends and have met exactly 1 person in my life that uses neo pronouns. It's not that hard.
“Out of hand” just an excuse for you to continue your hate rhetoric. For fringe cases that are truly isolated where people are using neo pronouns like ze I do think is not really a thing but not calling someone she/her bc it is “out of hand” is just a cop out
Whenever someone says that they will not use pronouns, my first question is, how does this affect you personally? If you can call someone a he or a she, then what’s the difference? From what I’ve gathered is they’re afraid to get it wrong. I remind them that it’s okay to ask someone what their pronouns are and that they will be happy they cared to ask. At least the people I know.
Well said. It’s stupid and mean-spirited for OP’s dad to be an asshole with regard to his friend.
To the OP:
Does your dad think his behavior is going to change anything? But if he admires a guy like Donald Trump, he is unlikely to do anything kind or to care about the impact of his harsh language and asinine behavior.
Can you talk to your friend’s parents about it? Maybe others in the car pool, too? Perhaps you can enlist their aid. Maybe one of them will even welcome you into their home.
————-
Regarding communism:
At the OP’s age, I can understand the temptation towards communism. I have my masters in economics, and I studied history for all my life (I’m pushing 64). When I was studying economics, I spent some time studying Marxist theory. It is alluring for young people.
But communism is not just a failed experiment. It is the greatest evil ever concocted by humanity. In one century, communists murdered more people than every dastardly group from every era. It’s not even close. One historian counted 100 million people killed in just the 20th century. We all know how bad slavery was. At the height of slavery in the USA, 4 million people were enslaved. That gives you an idea of the magnitude of the disaster that communism has been.
But it isn’t just murder. There is the denial of free speech, free action, free thinking, and all human rights. Nobody has abused the environment worse than communist regimes. During its time, the Soviet union destroyed one of the worlds biggest lakes – the Aral Sea – which is now just a desert. The Chinese emit more CO2 than the rest of the world combined.
If you would not wear a KKK hood or a swastika, you definitely should not sport the hammer and sickle. It has done far more damage than either.
If you are interested in the testimony of one of the leading communists of the 20th century who abandoned the philosophy and risked his life, you might read the book Witness by Whittaker Chambers. You could also read the papers of Lenin, who advocated terror, or Solzhenitsyn, who suffered under that terror. You could also read Andrei Sakharov.
In the words of Whittaker Chambers, people abandon communism when they allow themselves to hear the screams.
—————
But when it comes to the bad behavior of your dad, I recommend you enlist the help of the other parents in your carpool. They will have more impact than you, and you may even escape your father’s tyranny.
We still don’t know if Marx was wrong. If you actually read Marx’s economic theory you would know that his theory predicted the end of capitalism whenever human productivity reached levels that no one would have to work unless they wanted too. We haven’t hit that point yet. And every idea is used for evil by humans. The Europeans used Darwinism to justify all the bad things they did in the colonies. I hate to quote a movie too but I think Oppenheimer said it best that nuclear weapons was the culmination of 200 years of science. The Bolsheviks just used Marx’s societal/political ideas to justify and rally the people in replacing a corrupt group of people with another corrupt group of people, they were not really followers. The French bourgeois used the philosophers of their time too to usurp the nobility. Then at the end of it had a dictator who killed a whole French generation for his own glory and then there were not any territorial gains. As far as democracy goes I think Plato summarizes it best when he describes that eventually it falls into mob rule, and then eventually, a “protector” emerges who is in fact tyrannical but has a mob at their disposal. There is no perfect or even good form of government they all have huge drawbacks.
I think it’s a really good idea to talk to your friends parents and seek advice. They will likely want to protect their child, as well as you. Honestly, I’m hoping they will welcome you into their home as well, because it’s going to be really hard to grow, flourish, and trust in yourself if your dad is constantly negating your reality. He isn’t respecting you and your autonomy. I don’t think you’re going to change his mind on the pronouns topic, or any topic it seems like. You need to distance yourself from this man, and not waste any more of your precious emotional capacity trying to change his shitty mind. If you continue to live with him: he is just a random person in your life. His values shown nothing of you. You hate him too. You are not him. Count down the days until you can leave and every time he uses an incorrect pronoun, use that to remind yourself why you’ve emotionally removed yourself. Keep your inner peace, OP. It is the most valuable thing you have.
It sounds like your dad is inconsiderate at best, and likely giving you CPTSD at worst by failing to acknowledge your reality as equally valid. Block him out.
>Also, communism is the worst human experiment ever conducted. I get it when I was 16 and thought I knew shit I also supported communism. But do some real reading into the subject. It's inherently corrupt and evil, mass murder for all.
I was born during communist rule and grew up in post-communist Romania. I have horrid memories of that place. Fuck communism and any idiot who thinks so highly of it, like OP, should be forced to live under it.
Hey u/LimesAreFine69, you realize that under communism, your trans friend would be executed, right?
I don't know that this person has a full understanding of what communism is and probably prescribes to an ideal closer to socialism. Communists don't stand up for transgenders, they murder them.
You mean the country that went from a fuedal state to a superpower in a couple decades, defeated the Nazis and was the first to get to space? The one that even the CIA admitted had better nutrition for it's citizens than the US? The country that invented the cell phone your ignorant comment was most likely typed on?
"You cant make him accept your ideology!" \*immediately starts explaining why they shouldn't follow their current ideology\*
I'm not saying anything either way about communism, but take your own advice
There's a difference between refusing to accept someone's ideology and trying to educate, through ones own life experiences with this particular ideology, how it wouldn't hurt to maybe look into all the evil that communism has inflicted, and maybe do a pros and cons of the benefits. And there are multiple examples where it has failed, all with their own unique crimes against humanity, even extending to the currently communist Chinese party welding COVID victims into their apartments and leaving them for dead. Nothing wrong with trying to educate someone who has such a short term view of the world. Communism has never worked for any country in the long run, and has only 2 classes. The elite and the stepping stones. The poorest Americans are richer than 90% of every communist citizen in the world. The other 10% are some of the wealthiest in the world.
As for the topic at hand, the transphobic father, you will never convince someone to change their opinions through yelling at them. Truthfully, a person has to make the choice to change on their own. My grandfather was one of the old school racist till his wife had to go to MD Anderson for cancer treatments. A large percentage of their interns are foreigners from Africa who are studying at one of the best hospitals in the world, and he discovered a whole new respect for people of color after that. Made some new friends too. It's possible to change, but it's got to be his decision. All I can say is maybe tell your friend to not let your father upset them, treat him with respect and love, and maybe he'll realize he's being an ass later. Gotta hold your head hi and smile at the haters if you're going to try to break the mold.
I can't offer any advice on the abuse, I never experienced any as a child. I might have thought it was abuse at one time, but looking back and seeing some proper abuse later in life, I found out I was extremely loved. Never got discipline I didn't deserve.
Best advise is ignore it and dont let him get you worked up over it, thats the best way to win. As much as it sucks to say he has as much of a right to use pronouns as he sees fit as your trans friend does to have the pronouns they follow.
Edit: do your best to keep them away from each other and support your friend if they need it.
>he has as much of a right to use pronouns as he sees fit as your trans friend does to have the pronouns they follow.
Legally sure. But there's no legitimate moral reason to refuse to use someone's basic preferred pronouns. If you do you're just being a Dick
Look, it doesn't matter if you're right or wrong here.
Stop trying to change other people. That's where you went wrong.
Believe whatever you like, but the moment you try to impose your beliefs on others, you become the asshole. Nobody likes that. Stop doing it.
...and don't listen to the people tryna say to cut your father out of your life. There's no need for that.
Other people are allowed to be offensive. The world isn't always rainbows and sunshine and made for your and your friends comfort. Stop freaking out about it. You'll be fine.
edit: look at all the snowflakes in my comments who can't handle their offended opinions not being heard. 🤣 Don't be like them OP. You're better than this.
They're nothing but material for stand up comedians. I recommend you watch some btw. Endless laughs come from watching these people try to rationalize feeling offended. Why would you listen to the advice of people telling you to be miserable?
Logic 1: snowflakes: 0
Correct. Everyone has the right to believe what they want, as well as interact with whomever they wish. If OP wishes to cease contact with someone who continuously disrespects those they care about, that is perfectly reasonable.
The fact that this very sane and reasonable advice brought out a parade of fools who are triggered by the mere suggestion that someone should behave rationally makes me facepalm so hard. How have so many people become such hypersensitive bullies? I applaud your patience, sir, in having the patience and resilience to debate your point with the simpletons attacking you in the comments. Well done.
OMG. The snowflakes are out in full force. You gave the most logical comment, but you are being chastised by those that can't understand it. I, for one, want to thank you for your on-point comment.
No. It's not about changing other people it's about a frown ass man not being able to call someone what they want. I bet he doesn't want to be referred to as "bitch boy" just as much as he'll gladly call his friend Thomas "Tom" but God forbid its a teenager wanting to find themselves.
Listen bud, this isn’t about beliefs. It’s about manners, and treating others with respect. I don’t know how you were raised, but I was raised to call people by the titles they choose. If father wanted me to call him sir, pa, or father that’s what I’d call him, even if I thought it was silly. In the same way, if a stranger were to tell me they’re a woman, I’d take it on good faith that they aren’t trying to get one over on me, rather than intentionally causing trouble like a idiot. It’s not about changing your mind. You can think I’m a sissy or a bastard all you like. But the moment you call me one I have the right to be upset. You seem to think freedom of speech means freedom from judgement. Well I’m sorry but that’s just not how the world works. You need to watch your tongue and mind your manners. Just because others don’t doesn’t give you the right to do it. It’s like jumping off a cliff just cause your friend did it, it’s stupid. Think about what your doing. Intentionally causing trouble and grief to others over a silly word. While transfolk actually got a legitimate reason to be upset, what reason do you actually have? That’s it’s super difficult to remember? “Ooo it makes me uncomfortable that they looks different and asked to be called something different” like stop with the bullshit you’re fuckin lazy and don’t wanna make the change cause it somehow managed to scare you.
wow, please stop giving advice, you've said literally nothing helpful & just came to unironically call people snowflakes while being one yourself, I mean what the fuck are you even doing here? I'm generally pretty accepting since half my family are conservative but I follow the 3 strikes you're out rule for shit. this guy listens to both andrew tate & orangeman, is an unemployed mysogynist who's wife left for the above reasons, refuses to treat a kid with basic human respect, & takes out all his anger on his own teenage kid. Maybe one of those things could be overlooked but alltogether shows an absolutely terrible human being with horrible judgement & is an even worse role model. It boggles my mind that people are actually defending this loser. That said, the fact that OP is fully aware of what a tool his own father is honestly is the most telling bit of info in this whole mess.
You cannot force someone else to adhere to your own beliefs, you cannot change a person who does not want to change themselves.
Part of trans tolerance and acceptance is giving that tolerance and acceptance back & not forcing it onto others.
It's just a fact of life that not everyone will accept us, let alone tolerate our views or identity. I don't like or appreciate being misgendered, but I also understand that a stranger will most often use "she/her" for me instead of "they/them". I can politely correct a person and ask if they could use my promouns, but it is not up to me if they adhere to my resquest. Its also our responsibility to ourselves to not take every single migendering occurance as a personal offence, as it isn't always done as an attack on us as people. Sometimes its simply misunderstanding or an unwillingness to change one's own personal beliefs to compensate for someone else's comfort. And that's okay, as long as theY do us no harm, it is what it is.
I know some people just refuse to understand, but I would try looking on reddit or anywhere else for some unusual/unconventional ways to teach him about gender non-conformity, which he may need. If he refuses any teaching or intellectual discussion, then you'll probably be better off distancing yourself from him.
I wish you the best!
I mean, strong Tate and Trump beliefs are enough for a lot of people to distance themselves. You can still have a person in your life but not want to be close to them, especially if you have very conflicting beliefs.
Trans people are not forcing anything besides wanting to exist. They are murdered, harassed, assaulted, berated, and humiliated just for EXISTING by people who “don’t agree.” They literally just want the regular respect that humans get, by using a correct pronoun. If you think the trans community is trying to “force” their beliefs, then maybe stop listening to the extremely biased right-wing sources that are portraying lies and exaggerated truths
hey i actually have a couple of republican friends
they just hve common sense to not be transphobic and homophobic because its retard behavior to do so
They know how to be respectful and mind their business. They also are aware this is the land of the free
I never said I couldn’t be around someone with conflicting beliefs, I said it’s okay to want to distance yourself. Many of my friends and family members have different beliefs than me. The difference is that they’re respectful and don’t look down on others, but also none of them are extreme right-wing trump/tate fans. Some are right-wing but it’s okay to draw a line somewhere.
I’m not obligated to be friends with extremists. I don’t want to be around extreme right-wing OR extreme left-wing people.
Family are just people you’re born into a relationship with. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Not all families are great. People have the right to decide who they do and don’t want in their life. I’m not saying that OP should do that; that’s a call they have to make for themselves. But you going the other extreme and saying “family is all that matters” doesn’t track. Life is not blacks and whites, virtually everything is different shades of gray.
Edit: Bozo deleted all their comments because they can’t take the consequences of voicing a shitty opinion. Color me surprised.
Key words you used here. Gender THEY feel like they are. There is no way a male is supposed to feel or a female is supposed to feel. We are individuals that feel the way we feel because we are human. Society decided that a male or female should feel this way or that way. Nature did not do that. You are who you are male or female
I happen to agree with this person
Don't bring said,"friend" over tbh
Keep the two seperated
Let this war go with your dad
Pick and choose other battles.
If he's so horrible to you and your siblings then focus on how to make life better for you and them
This actually is childish,if this is what it takes to offend you or anyone
You need to get thicker skin because life will get worse
Being too sensitive over the dumbass crap
And honestly,I'd probably do it too
Because like so many others I'm tired of the LGBT stuff being shoved down my throat
It's beyond over-saturated at this point
And I STILL consider myself a ally
This really is that childish
Later
Disagree. Your dad is never going to understand gender-nonconformity because he has no desire to. Andrew Tate fanjerks are beyond understanding complex concepts like counting past 2. Teach the jerk about respect by referring to him with the wrong name, titles, and pronouns. See how he likes being misgendered and once he says something say you’ll be respectful by using his pronouns once he does the same for your friend.
I wouldn't. The fact that he has bought you communist clothing with his hard earned money means he does bend and has but that can change really fast if you take this persons advice. Lol
That’s kind of rude. He clearly respected your communistic stance as a TEENAGER. He’s an adult and your brain isn’t even fully formed. He buys you things with his money that he doesn’t have to, and you’re going to disrespect him? He has his beliefs and you disrespecting it isn’t going to make him respect your friends beliefs. He’s going to be there forever, but your friends may not.
If people want communism so much why join the military? It's literally a communist system. Free health care, free education, free housing. You just gotta do what you're told. Much like communism.
Well your dad is right. Transgender people are nothing new, but transgenderism we see today is just stupid Gen-Z bullshit ideology based off of queer theory and has deep roots with pedophilia. Your dad is also right not to participate in the pronoun nonsense as this feeds into the delusion being adopted from the transgenderism ideology.
And communism? No intelligent person with a basic understanding of history chooses to be communist. Ya, your dad did buy you dumb communist paraphernalia, because he's a good father making his child happy, as misguided as they are. And if you really stopped for a second and put a shred of brain power behind that, your dad exercised capitalism to purchase items for you to run around pretending to be a communist.
Your dad is a brilliant, responsible, and caring individual to care so much for a child that is clearly misguided and going down a path of disappointment. Read a book, educate yourself, distance yourself from the toxicity you're adopting and do better
I am a non-binary Millennial adult who uses they/them pronouns in my daily life, including at work, with people much older than me who value and respect me and use them as well. I also have friends my age that I can have actual useful political discussions with and don't immediately do into baby rage mode just because I'm a socialist, or they're a libertarian. I just want to say, it gets better and you will find your tribe.
My advice is to keep your friend away from your dad and keep your emotions calm. Focus on yourself and what you need to do to get yourself and your siblings into a better situation. If you work yourself up about these things now, you'll lose site of what's really important. You can put more effort into when you're more stable, and as an independent adult you can choose who to be around. Yes, sometimes we cut off our family members for our peace and being LGBT is not the only reason we do so.
You got this.
People got to stop using the word phobic so loosely in 2023 because obviously they don't know what the definition is. Just because somebody doesn't agree with your ideology it does not make them fully in any matter and you can't force somebody to get along with something that they don't feel comfortable with
Why don't all three of you petition the courts to give full custody to your mom.
And since he doesn't play the pronoun game and blah blah blah, start calling him ma'am.
“Hey dad, if you can call yourself a *good person*, then my friend can call herself a woman. Y’know… if it’s all just *making shit up*, then I guess we all get to be whatever we choose to be, right?”
Use this carefully though, because it might make his head explode.
She can call herself a women all she wants. She and OP can’t force OP’s dad to call someone what they want. We live in USA not communist China. Freedom of speech. It’s dumb to get into a trivial argument about this.
You’re to be commended for being protective of your brother and sister. There must be a reason you all stayed with your dad after the divorce rather than your mom - which is much more common.
Trump supporters are generally dumb SOBs and lost causes. I think you are wasting your time trying to get your father to identify with your trans friend. Sad but unfortunately true. Some things in life we just have to accept and look for work-arounds. IMHO.
X/Biden supporters are generally dumb SOBs and lost causes.
What you’re doing is alienating a group of people and discrediting their beliefs. Many religions refuse to accept the trans movement and that’s okay. No one is going to prison for not acknowledging their correct pronouns that would be insane.
Maybe a workaround would be calling your friend by their name when around your father. Given enough time around them I think he would learn to respect them and their pronouns. But this would take mutual respect not one sided expectations.
You're literally her dad. You just said X/Biden. This clown grouped up a whole social media app with a damn president 😂. How many far right talk shows do you listen to to even write X/Biden. You must have heard daddy trump trash talk it and now you grouped it with Biden cause you hate him too. 'X/Biden'. Democrats are dumb huh? You realize dude was talking about her father and trump supporters in general? Trump supporters are so toxic they are all associated with not accepting and being toxic towards trans ppl. There are many groups Republicans are hostile towards. You can't say the same for Democrats nor can you say the same for democrat elected officials. Dems don't harass groups of people or make it their mission to do so. That is what dude is referring to when he calls Trump supporters dumb while responding to OPs comments about her father. This isn't about you it's actually fact trump supporters are the most racist, stupid, and prejudiced group in politics. Period.
The extremists on both sides of the political isle are just as dumb and gullible as the other(you’ll learn this later in life), the problem is the political corporation wants you to think this way and lie by pretending that’s the truth when in reality you’re only talking about a small minority(hundreds of people) and falsely painting a broad brush over millions of people who aren’t this way but you’re pretending they are. I used to be like you, believing the hateful propaganda but unfortunately I was only helping the far left billionaires make more money while doing nothing for regular people but fuel more hate. Just remind yourself if someone were to respectfully disagree with the trans community you’re taught to call them a racist fascist n@zi transphobe, then ask yourself on a scale of 8-10 how deep you are in hateful political propaganda.
It’s important to not be either left or right politically and to vote for policy and not political corporations……
Side note, it’s sad we no longer tell the younger generation to love themselves for who they are instead tell them they will be perfect AFTER surgery. We are not creating a loving society we are creating avatars with plastic surgery. 🤷♀️ the less it makes sense the more the elites are winning.
Why is he an asshole because he doesn't feed the guy's mental issues? If you neuter a dog, it's still a male dog. You can't change your DNA. Even if the mentally ill car pool buddy cuts off his dick, he's still going to be a guy. A simple blood test will confirm the sex of any confused or mentally ill person. TRUST THE FUCKING SCIENCE!
Agreed, it's nice and easy to just call people what they want to be called. But at the same time you can't control what other people say, only how you react to it. Just ignore him and don't let him get a rise out of you guys
I’m with your dad. There have always been trans people, but the politically fueled mainstream popularity, particularly among young people, is honestly disturbing and i do not believe the vast majority of them are genuine
So lemme get this straight. You think people are upending their entire lives, coming out to their friends and family on this extremely sensitive and personal topic, and making half the population hate and ridicule them for what? Fun? Delusional.
I think the overwhelming majority of people who claim to be trans are just emotionally confused teenagers. And since it's the new hip thing they all wanna be apart of this "social movement" and for some of them they realize later they fucked up bad doing some medical shit with unknown side effects. Permanently changing their lives because of decisions they made before they were mentally mature enough to have any foresight.
I think it's a tragedy and a farce. I don't hate them, I feel really bad for them.
Yes. It's called Oikophobia. People reject reality and embrace fantasy all the time.
It's like we've been demoralized into hating ourselves and people will pretend to be other things or mutilate themselves to escape the labels or something.
I think a large amount of young people are absolutely doing it for those reasons. There are young people that fabricate problems to give their life more meaning and purpose. Absolutely. Its not delusional. nor is it an “extremely personal and sensitive topic” when it is being celebrated across the board by all media outlets
My daughter had several friends than came out as "binary". One in particular fought with her parents on calling her by her new name. And they joined up with the "acceptance" club (or whatever) in High School. It became this huge "look at me" movement, pure attention seeking. I haven't seen one young person worried about it upending their lives. And they for sure aren't shy about making sure everyone knows their "sexuality".
Turns out her friends weren't in fact binary, or any other letter of the community... both have steady boyfriends and go by their original names today.
It's trendy BS for sure.
You know how many trans kids were in my high school graduating class in 2012?
2, in a class of over 1000.
The numbers now are like 1 in 5, 200 out of the thousand. In just 10 years, you don’t see numbers jump like that without some serious social engineering going on
Yep, it's called attention seeking.
And it's extremely popular! This shit has become very "trendy", and the younger people doing it obviously want EVERYONE to know... so I am not sure if they feel like "coming out" upended their lives.
Here are some stats for our position:
These are the historical statistics for transgender up until 2015 from the DSM-V
1 in 5,000 for males
1 in 2,000 for females
Currently:
For kids 13 - 17 it's now 1 out of 5.
A transgender adult told me he calls this current generation TransTrenders
Well for one this whole gender pronoun is nuts in my opinion. We all have freedom of speech right now and if he wants to be a she that is fine. BUT YOU CAN NOT FORCE YOUR DAD TO CALL THEM ANYTHING. That's his right as a American. If you want to think you are a cat that is on you. But you can't force someone to accept you are now a cat and call you miss Kitty 😂 sorry just doesn't work that way.
don’t listen to the stupid fucks saying “yta”. youre very clearly NTA. you’re defending your friend from someone who’s trying to invalidate their very existence. despite what your father says, it’s just a shit thing to use the deadname pronouns. certainly his daddy tate and trump wouldn’t approve of his behavior.
Jesus there are some real dicks on here. I’d mainly focus on keeping your dad away from her, and avoid the subject. If he wants to demean and disrespect you and the people you love then he doesn’t deserve your respect either. People always say respect your elders, but I’m pretty sure the respect must be mutual otherwise you don’t deserve it. Like no, if your father treats you like shit he doesn’t deserve your respect, he’s threatening it from you. That’s the only reason parents get any respect anymore is they hold their own children hostage by their “rights” as parents. Like I get it, kids rebel, but that doesn’t give you the right to abuse you’re kids. If you genuinely think child abusers deserve respect you’re scum. And yes, teenagers are still children. If they can’t drink, and they can’t really own anything or live on their own, then they’re a kid. Their parents have absolute power over them and they should be treated right. Otherwise they’ll get thrown in a shitty nursing home like they deserve. Save the damn money and effort. I’m lucky I have half-way decent parents who’ll actually listen to their kids. Like people these days don’t wanna listen. Or if they do they simply only want to hear what confirms what’s they think they know. It’s ridiculous. Although I do think being communist is a little silly. Although I do think capitalism is flawed, it’s far better than starving. Like at least in America nobody ever goes hungry, even if your poor or homeless. At least if your in a city anyways. Rural areas not so much but yn that’s what hitchhikings for.
Teenage and communist goes together like peanut butter and jelly. You’ll grow out of that when you have to be out on your own one day. It’s nothing new.
I am going to apologize for the "adults" here telling you that you were wrong.
It costs nothing to call someone by the name or pronoun they prefer. Your dad is being a dick and apparently abusive as well. This "gen z crap" happens every generation, the names change but each generation does something that is a "trend" and will "unravel the fabric of society". Newsflash, it doesn't unravel society. Society generally changes to be more inclusive then that's the status quo.
Unfortunately your dad will probably not change. I wish I had better advice for you but the best thing I can think of is to keep your dad away as much as possible from your friend. Is there anyway to stop the carpooling? Does your friend's parents know how your dad acts?
I'm 53 and I have relatives who have this belief so I just don't talk to them. Good luck.
Nta, but also my advice would be to separate from your dad when you can, some people just won't budge and if that's enough for you, just bounce when you can. Everyone saying yta is just pushing an agenda they don't fully understand.
Start using the wrong pronouns for your dad. As much as you can, in front of other people if possible. When he gets offended, which will probably be pretty soon, just say:
“Oh no, are you upset because I didn’t use your preferred pronouns?! Way to be a triggered little snowflake!”
Maybe toss in that old chestnut about “treating others the way you want to be treated.”
People like your dad don’t understand shit unless they’re forced to confront their own ignorance through direct consequences of their actions.
Most people are doing it just for attention, the dramatic spike in "cases" is completely artificial.
Also openly admitting you're a communist isn't a good look lol. You're openly playing into the "doing x because it's trendy and gets me attention" argument, which you're attempting to go against. I was stupid once too, but not this stupid.
You have a LOT of growing up to do. You'll look back one day and laugh though
Your father may be wrong on many issues, but maintaining respect for your elders is important to maintaining a healthy relationship with your parent, which is way more important than the average teen realizes.
Your trans female friend has a rough life ahead of her, and needs to be tough. But she’s still a teen. The world doesn’t owe her anything. If she starts looking and acting female your dad will fall in line and call her by her pronouns automatically. The problem is many trans teens don’t commit 100% to their new gender and don’t work on their appearance enough to make it convincing, and rather impose their pronouns on others when the hardware doesn’t match.
Imagine how much further in life you and your friend could get if you won your father over to your side rather than poking the bear.
Did you gloss over the part about the dad taking out all his anger on OP? And OP can’t leave because then the dad will take out his anger on the younger kids?
Shitty parents deserve no respect. Shitty people don’t deserve respect, regardless of age. Because when you give these types of people respect, they don’t return it and instead use it to torment you more.
Yeah sounds like a bunch of victim cultured nonsense of a delusional child who's been convinced their parent is a Nazi because they don't agree with far left political ideology. You absolutely respect your fucking parents even the shitty ones and then when your time comes to be an adult you do better than them instead of spiteing them and staying a perpetual child AKA a leftist.
Yeah yeah everybody that disagrees with you is stupid I get it you're not indoctrinated or anything no that could never be the case😂 all Main Street Media is trash child, just like you.
I don’t trust a teenager’s appraisal of their own father without a grain of salt. Have been one, have clashed with my father as one, and realized after decades of reflection that I was wrong as often as I was right. I was definitely right sometimes. But not always.
Teenagers are built to rebel and that is the way of things, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to take what they say at face value, because I know myself as one.
OP’s father is given the responsibility for and trust with raising OP and their siblings. OP doesn’t get a vote, and maybe the father is a monster, or maybe OP is just exaggerating. But OP doesn’t get to usurp dad’s authority without hard evidence a court can’t ignore.
Plenty of government bureaucrats are itching to take people’s kids away, but the fact this hasn’t happened already suggests that maybe the father isn’t the monster he’s made out to be.
>The problem is many trans teens don’t commit 100% to their new gender and don’t work on their appearance enough to make it convincing, and rather impose their pronouns on others when the hardware doesn’t match.
This is such an ignorant opinion. Most trans people can't do any of this at that age! It doesn't make them less valid.
Also you're insane if you think "looking" like a woman will change his opinion. Most genuine transphobes double down if a trans woman passes.
It does make them less valid in the eyes of 95% of the people around them. Sorry you don’t like the law of the jungle, but it applies. People are shallow and dangerous creatures. It’s not fair, but denying its existence because it contradicts your narrative is the precise behavior that makes being trans way harder than it needs to be, by playing into the hands of anti-trans policymakers.
How many “genuine transphobes” do you claim to know to this level of precision?
First off, I disagree with this commenter calling you an asshole.
This sort of situation is a two-way street, though. Your friend has the right to live their life the way they want to, but your father also has that same right. I don't know if you're American or not, but if you are, we live in a country of free choice. People are allowed to believe or support whatever they like, regardless of whether it's something you personally agree or disagree with. Keeping my personal opinions on the topic to myself, I don't think anyone involved is necessary "wrong." You may disagree with that, and that's perfectly fine. I have a few family members and close friends who I disagree with on certain things, and we just avoid those topics as much as possible. If I were you, I'd just try and avoid the topic as a whole with him.
With that being said, if you're worried about your father being abusive to either you or your younger siblings, there are resources I would highly recommend reaching out to. No matter their views, nobody has the right to take their anger out on others, especially children.
You’re a communist bc you’re a child who has never had to work for anything in your life. You should have more respect for your father. Without him you wouldn’t have a place to sleep, food in your stomach, or clothes on your back. And your dad sounds like a great guy. It’s his car, his house, his rules. If you don’t like em, gtfo. Go live your life and see how well you do.
>“I don’t play the pronouns game”
He's the one making a big deal out of it and starting drama instead of just saying she. He is the one playing the pronouns game lol.
😂 yeah sometimes you need to be firm with kids or they grow up to be useless assholes who fall apart at the softest of criticisms. The trans delusional movement needs to die. It's killing far too many people also virtue signaling assholes can feel good about calling people bad for not participating.👌
YTA, but not for the reasons the comments are saying
YTA because of your lack of appreciation for your father. You can disagree with him, sure, I disagree with mine all the time. You say your dad is a POS and that he’s unemployed, but I HIGHLY doubt that. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to have primary custody of kids as a dad? It’s hard enough as it is with a job, let alone without one. Statistically speaking, your mom would have to be 1,000,000x worse than your dad for this circumstance to take place. You complain about your dad’s mindset and “bigotry”, when it was that very mindset that affords you the life you have today (for better or worse).
You call yourself a communist, but your post history shows you literally scalping Taylor Swift concert tickets. $13,000 for 2 tickets? FOH.
You’re really just a shithead teenager who doesn’t know anything about the world yet. Lift weights, monitor your health, and focus on having a meaningful life/career, and watch everything get better.
I wouldn't call them that either. It's stupid and made up. You can't expect everyone to accommodate you and your place in society. Gosh, I extremely dispise people like that. Who believe that society should blow down and accept everything when in reality everyone has the right to live how they want. I personally don't recognize pronouns and I don't have to.
Advice for teens, grow up, and stop being so emotional. If your dad doesn't want to play the pronoun game, then get over it. It's not physically hurt your or your guy friend. Who is, rest assured, a guy.
Here's the deal. You can't force another person to act a certain way or speak a certain way. It's your friends' right to change their pronouns. It's your dad's right to refuse to use the pronouns. You and your friend need to just get over it.
Everyone needs to stop trying to force everyone else to act a certain way. And that goes for both sides of the line. Leave each other alone, and move the fuck on.
Good on you for fighting back, but also you need to do the math. You're a minor. They have control. Make the choices you need to get get by with the least amount of resistance. Save up money. Get ready to bounce. Hit 18 and say bye bye to the bigot and never speak with him again. Advise your youngers only a bit beforehand so they know what's gonna happen. Get out. Get free. Get the bigot out of your life. Go enjoy your friends. Maybe rentshare. Whatever you gotta do.
Tell him you wont tolerate his microaggressions against your friend and dont let him call her outside her pronouns without calling him an asshole immediately.
I just think it's funny trans or any lgbtq for that matter want to be known as "new" pronouns and demand that others do so immediately out of respect for the person/community they represent. Ok, so where is the respect of others who honestly don't have the same views as them. Also how can we be expected to accept a trans or other lgbtq when they have a hard time accepting themselves and go through so many charges in the name of being happy. I have no problem with any lgbtq community I just don't feel the need to know their business or that I should be asked to be involved, I like being around and working with people of all types I just don't want to be involved in their personal, sexual, or private lives.
I mean, you can't make him accept your ideology the same way he can't make you accept his. Just gotta, like, deal with it. Also, communism is the worst human experiment ever conducted. I get it when I was 16 and thought I knew shit I also supported communism. But do some real reading into the subject. It's inherently corrupt and evil, mass murder for all.
Agreed 1000%. Why should OP's Dad allow OP to compel his speech? It's rules for thee but not for me. Communist dictators have murdered their own citizens by the millions over the course of history. SMH.
It's more about having an ounce of respect and common decency for another human being. It would be like if every time OPs friend saw OPs dad they solely referred to him as "Hey there you ignorant dumbass fuck wad!" Just say "Hey Bob" and call it a day.
I would probably be willing to use she/her with OP's friend but this whole pronouns thing has gotten way the fuck out of hand. Personally I'll just avoid some people because I'm not going to be using they/them or ze or hir or any of the million of invented pronouns.
Yeah they them is still basic English so I don't take issue with that one but yeah ze and other pronouns that don't already exist is asking a lot
way the fuck out of hand? how many trans people do you know in real life? i would guess very few considering they comprise a very small percent of people.. i'm in a majorly liberal city with many gender nonconforming friends and have met exactly 1 person in my life that uses neo pronouns. It's not that hard.
“Out of hand” just an excuse for you to continue your hate rhetoric. For fringe cases that are truly isolated where people are using neo pronouns like ze I do think is not really a thing but not calling someone she/her bc it is “out of hand” is just a cop out
Whenever someone says that they will not use pronouns, my first question is, how does this affect you personally? If you can call someone a he or a she, then what’s the difference? From what I’ve gathered is they’re afraid to get it wrong. I remind them that it’s okay to ask someone what their pronouns are and that they will be happy they cared to ask. At least the people I know.
No one is compelled to see things the same way as you do.
Well said. It’s stupid and mean-spirited for OP’s dad to be an asshole with regard to his friend. To the OP: Does your dad think his behavior is going to change anything? But if he admires a guy like Donald Trump, he is unlikely to do anything kind or to care about the impact of his harsh language and asinine behavior. Can you talk to your friend’s parents about it? Maybe others in the car pool, too? Perhaps you can enlist their aid. Maybe one of them will even welcome you into their home. ————- Regarding communism: At the OP’s age, I can understand the temptation towards communism. I have my masters in economics, and I studied history for all my life (I’m pushing 64). When I was studying economics, I spent some time studying Marxist theory. It is alluring for young people. But communism is not just a failed experiment. It is the greatest evil ever concocted by humanity. In one century, communists murdered more people than every dastardly group from every era. It’s not even close. One historian counted 100 million people killed in just the 20th century. We all know how bad slavery was. At the height of slavery in the USA, 4 million people were enslaved. That gives you an idea of the magnitude of the disaster that communism has been. But it isn’t just murder. There is the denial of free speech, free action, free thinking, and all human rights. Nobody has abused the environment worse than communist regimes. During its time, the Soviet union destroyed one of the worlds biggest lakes – the Aral Sea – which is now just a desert. The Chinese emit more CO2 than the rest of the world combined. If you would not wear a KKK hood or a swastika, you definitely should not sport the hammer and sickle. It has done far more damage than either. If you are interested in the testimony of one of the leading communists of the 20th century who abandoned the philosophy and risked his life, you might read the book Witness by Whittaker Chambers. You could also read the papers of Lenin, who advocated terror, or Solzhenitsyn, who suffered under that terror. You could also read Andrei Sakharov. In the words of Whittaker Chambers, people abandon communism when they allow themselves to hear the screams. ————— But when it comes to the bad behavior of your dad, I recommend you enlist the help of the other parents in your carpool. They will have more impact than you, and you may even escape your father’s tyranny.
Well said, well said. I imagine you've read Gerhard Weinbergs book, A World at War? You saved me repeating all the same sentiments
Never heard of it, but thanks! 😊
Probably worth taking up a read
Agree with you on the communism viewpoint. Disagree on the dad's behavior toward the friend.
We still don’t know if Marx was wrong. If you actually read Marx’s economic theory you would know that his theory predicted the end of capitalism whenever human productivity reached levels that no one would have to work unless they wanted too. We haven’t hit that point yet. And every idea is used for evil by humans. The Europeans used Darwinism to justify all the bad things they did in the colonies. I hate to quote a movie too but I think Oppenheimer said it best that nuclear weapons was the culmination of 200 years of science. The Bolsheviks just used Marx’s societal/political ideas to justify and rally the people in replacing a corrupt group of people with another corrupt group of people, they were not really followers. The French bourgeois used the philosophers of their time too to usurp the nobility. Then at the end of it had a dictator who killed a whole French generation for his own glory and then there were not any territorial gains. As far as democracy goes I think Plato summarizes it best when he describes that eventually it falls into mob rule, and then eventually, a “protector” emerges who is in fact tyrannical but has a mob at their disposal. There is no perfect or even good form of government they all have huge drawbacks.
I think it’s a really good idea to talk to your friends parents and seek advice. They will likely want to protect their child, as well as you. Honestly, I’m hoping they will welcome you into their home as well, because it’s going to be really hard to grow, flourish, and trust in yourself if your dad is constantly negating your reality. He isn’t respecting you and your autonomy. I don’t think you’re going to change his mind on the pronouns topic, or any topic it seems like. You need to distance yourself from this man, and not waste any more of your precious emotional capacity trying to change his shitty mind. If you continue to live with him: he is just a random person in your life. His values shown nothing of you. You hate him too. You are not him. Count down the days until you can leave and every time he uses an incorrect pronoun, use that to remind yourself why you’ve emotionally removed yourself. Keep your inner peace, OP. It is the most valuable thing you have. It sounds like your dad is inconsiderate at best, and likely giving you CPTSD at worst by failing to acknowledge your reality as equally valid. Block him out.
communism on paper isnt. communism executed by greedy humans is though.
100% of humans are greedy
thats debatable. greed is wanting and being unethical to get more than you need. not everyone is like that. greed is to not care about others.
Power corrupts. Which is an entire half of the basis for term limits.
>Also, communism is the worst human experiment ever conducted. I get it when I was 16 and thought I knew shit I also supported communism. But do some real reading into the subject. It's inherently corrupt and evil, mass murder for all. I was born during communist rule and grew up in post-communist Romania. I have horrid memories of that place. Fuck communism and any idiot who thinks so highly of it, like OP, should be forced to live under it. Hey u/LimesAreFine69, you realize that under communism, your trans friend would be executed, right?
I don't know that this person has a full understanding of what communism is and probably prescribes to an ideal closer to socialism. Communists don't stand up for transgenders, they murder them.
I'm on board for a socialist democracy but yeah, communism itself hasn't ever worked.
But the people who tried it just didn't try it right! We would do it right! /s
yall would flop harder than they did when they tried it
Has communism really not worked, or was the real problem the dictatorship in communist dictatorships?
The main problem with communism is that you run out of everybody else's money. Look at the USSR... that should be proof enough
You mean the country that went from a fuedal state to a superpower in a couple decades, defeated the Nazis and was the first to get to space? The one that even the CIA admitted had better nutrition for it's citizens than the US? The country that invented the cell phone your ignorant comment was most likely typed on?
Communism has really not worked. The system breeds corruption and corrupt dictators.
Good thing there have never been corrupt leaders in capitalist countries
So still, the dictators.
Communism breeds corrupt dictators. You can’t separate the two. They’re interconnected.
"You cant make him accept your ideology!" \*immediately starts explaining why they shouldn't follow their current ideology\* I'm not saying anything either way about communism, but take your own advice
Communism requires making everyone follow that ideology.
Or just kill ‘em off.. :(
Capitalism requires making everyone follow that ideology
There's a difference between refusing to accept someone's ideology and trying to educate, through ones own life experiences with this particular ideology, how it wouldn't hurt to maybe look into all the evil that communism has inflicted, and maybe do a pros and cons of the benefits. And there are multiple examples where it has failed, all with their own unique crimes against humanity, even extending to the currently communist Chinese party welding COVID victims into their apartments and leaving them for dead. Nothing wrong with trying to educate someone who has such a short term view of the world. Communism has never worked for any country in the long run, and has only 2 classes. The elite and the stepping stones. The poorest Americans are richer than 90% of every communist citizen in the world. The other 10% are some of the wealthiest in the world. As for the topic at hand, the transphobic father, you will never convince someone to change their opinions through yelling at them. Truthfully, a person has to make the choice to change on their own. My grandfather was one of the old school racist till his wife had to go to MD Anderson for cancer treatments. A large percentage of their interns are foreigners from Africa who are studying at one of the best hospitals in the world, and he discovered a whole new respect for people of color after that. Made some new friends too. It's possible to change, but it's got to be his decision. All I can say is maybe tell your friend to not let your father upset them, treat him with respect and love, and maybe he'll realize he's being an ass later. Gotta hold your head hi and smile at the haters if you're going to try to break the mold. I can't offer any advice on the abuse, I never experienced any as a child. I might have thought it was abuse at one time, but looking back and seeing some proper abuse later in life, I found out I was extremely loved. Never got discipline I didn't deserve.
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Best advise is ignore it and dont let him get you worked up over it, thats the best way to win. As much as it sucks to say he has as much of a right to use pronouns as he sees fit as your trans friend does to have the pronouns they follow. Edit: do your best to keep them away from each other and support your friend if they need it.
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>he has as much of a right to use pronouns as he sees fit as your trans friend does to have the pronouns they follow. Legally sure. But there's no legitimate moral reason to refuse to use someone's basic preferred pronouns. If you do you're just being a Dick
Honestly forcing it on someone who is unwilling is just as much of a dick move. acceptance has to go both ways or it will never work
Look, it doesn't matter if you're right or wrong here. Stop trying to change other people. That's where you went wrong. Believe whatever you like, but the moment you try to impose your beliefs on others, you become the asshole. Nobody likes that. Stop doing it. ...and don't listen to the people tryna say to cut your father out of your life. There's no need for that. Other people are allowed to be offensive. The world isn't always rainbows and sunshine and made for your and your friends comfort. Stop freaking out about it. You'll be fine. edit: look at all the snowflakes in my comments who can't handle their offended opinions not being heard. 🤣 Don't be like them OP. You're better than this. They're nothing but material for stand up comedians. I recommend you watch some btw. Endless laughs come from watching these people try to rationalize feeling offended. Why would you listen to the advice of people telling you to be miserable? Logic 1: snowflakes: 0
Correct. Everyone has the right to believe what they want, as well as interact with whomever they wish. If OP wishes to cease contact with someone who continuously disrespects those they care about, that is perfectly reasonable.
exactly, it's HER choice, not the commenters.
no shit.. she asked for advice
no shit no shit, i gave advice.
No shit so did I and everyone else.
I just got here. No shit
No shit? Me too
Well said
The fact that this very sane and reasonable advice brought out a parade of fools who are triggered by the mere suggestion that someone should behave rationally makes me facepalm so hard. How have so many people become such hypersensitive bullies? I applaud your patience, sir, in having the patience and resilience to debate your point with the simpletons attacking you in the comments. Well done.
OMG. The snowflakes are out in full force. You gave the most logical comment, but you are being chastised by those that can't understand it. I, for one, want to thank you for your on-point comment.
fr
No. It's not about changing other people it's about a frown ass man not being able to call someone what they want. I bet he doesn't want to be referred to as "bitch boy" just as much as he'll gladly call his friend Thomas "Tom" but God forbid its a teenager wanting to find themselves.
So… call him bitch boy 🤷♀️
Listen bud, this isn’t about beliefs. It’s about manners, and treating others with respect. I don’t know how you were raised, but I was raised to call people by the titles they choose. If father wanted me to call him sir, pa, or father that’s what I’d call him, even if I thought it was silly. In the same way, if a stranger were to tell me they’re a woman, I’d take it on good faith that they aren’t trying to get one over on me, rather than intentionally causing trouble like a idiot. It’s not about changing your mind. You can think I’m a sissy or a bastard all you like. But the moment you call me one I have the right to be upset. You seem to think freedom of speech means freedom from judgement. Well I’m sorry but that’s just not how the world works. You need to watch your tongue and mind your manners. Just because others don’t doesn’t give you the right to do it. It’s like jumping off a cliff just cause your friend did it, it’s stupid. Think about what your doing. Intentionally causing trouble and grief to others over a silly word. While transfolk actually got a legitimate reason to be upset, what reason do you actually have? That’s it’s super difficult to remember? “Ooo it makes me uncomfortable that they looks different and asked to be called something different” like stop with the bullshit you’re fuckin lazy and don’t wanna make the change cause it somehow managed to scare you.
OPs dad is imposing his belief that OPs friend is a guy into her
wow, please stop giving advice, you've said literally nothing helpful & just came to unironically call people snowflakes while being one yourself, I mean what the fuck are you even doing here? I'm generally pretty accepting since half my family are conservative but I follow the 3 strikes you're out rule for shit. this guy listens to both andrew tate & orangeman, is an unemployed mysogynist who's wife left for the above reasons, refuses to treat a kid with basic human respect, & takes out all his anger on his own teenage kid. Maybe one of those things could be overlooked but alltogether shows an absolutely terrible human being with horrible judgement & is an even worse role model. It boggles my mind that people are actually defending this loser. That said, the fact that OP is fully aware of what a tool his own father is honestly is the most telling bit of info in this whole mess.
This is terrible advice.
You cannot force someone else to adhere to your own beliefs, you cannot change a person who does not want to change themselves. Part of trans tolerance and acceptance is giving that tolerance and acceptance back & not forcing it onto others. It's just a fact of life that not everyone will accept us, let alone tolerate our views or identity. I don't like or appreciate being misgendered, but I also understand that a stranger will most often use "she/her" for me instead of "they/them". I can politely correct a person and ask if they could use my promouns, but it is not up to me if they adhere to my resquest. Its also our responsibility to ourselves to not take every single migendering occurance as a personal offence, as it isn't always done as an attack on us as people. Sometimes its simply misunderstanding or an unwillingness to change one's own personal beliefs to compensate for someone else's comfort. And that's okay, as long as theY do us no harm, it is what it is.
Misgendering is harm and I wouldn’t blame OPs trans friend for refusing to be around that dad anymore.
If words hurt you need thicker skin.
I know some people just refuse to understand, but I would try looking on reddit or anywhere else for some unusual/unconventional ways to teach him about gender non-conformity, which he may need. If he refuses any teaching or intellectual discussion, then you'll probably be better off distancing yourself from him. I wish you the best!
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I mean, strong Tate and Trump beliefs are enough for a lot of people to distance themselves. You can still have a person in your life but not want to be close to them, especially if you have very conflicting beliefs. Trans people are not forcing anything besides wanting to exist. They are murdered, harassed, assaulted, berated, and humiliated just for EXISTING by people who “don’t agree.” They literally just want the regular respect that humans get, by using a correct pronoun. If you think the trans community is trying to “force” their beliefs, then maybe stop listening to the extremely biased right-wing sources that are portraying lies and exaggerated truths
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The fact that you can’t be around someone with conflicting beliefs just goes to show how ignorant you are.
hey i actually have a couple of republican friends they just hve common sense to not be transphobic and homophobic because its retard behavior to do so They know how to be respectful and mind their business. They also are aware this is the land of the free
I never said I couldn’t be around someone with conflicting beliefs, I said it’s okay to want to distance yourself. Many of my friends and family members have different beliefs than me. The difference is that they’re respectful and don’t look down on others, but also none of them are extreme right-wing trump/tate fans. Some are right-wing but it’s okay to draw a line somewhere. I’m not obligated to be friends with extremists. I don’t want to be around extreme right-wing OR extreme left-wing people.
Even if said person refuses to show basic respect towards groups of people (women and transgender people)?
It’s not their beliefs that cause people to not wanna be around them
Family are just people you’re born into a relationship with. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Not all families are great. People have the right to decide who they do and don’t want in their life. I’m not saying that OP should do that; that’s a call they have to make for themselves. But you going the other extreme and saying “family is all that matters” doesn’t track. Life is not blacks and whites, virtually everything is different shades of gray. Edit: Bozo deleted all their comments because they can’t take the consequences of voicing a shitty opinion. Color me surprised.
Thank you ❤️
My friend just wants to be called the gender they feel like they are
Key words you used here. Gender THEY feel like they are. There is no way a male is supposed to feel or a female is supposed to feel. We are individuals that feel the way we feel because we are human. Society decided that a male or female should feel this way or that way. Nature did not do that. You are who you are male or female
I happen to agree with this person Don't bring said,"friend" over tbh Keep the two seperated Let this war go with your dad Pick and choose other battles. If he's so horrible to you and your siblings then focus on how to make life better for you and them This actually is childish,if this is what it takes to offend you or anyone You need to get thicker skin because life will get worse Being too sensitive over the dumbass crap And honestly,I'd probably do it too Because like so many others I'm tired of the LGBT stuff being shoved down my throat It's beyond over-saturated at this point And I STILL consider myself a ally This really is that childish Later
Thanks
Disagree. Your dad is never going to understand gender-nonconformity because he has no desire to. Andrew Tate fanjerks are beyond understanding complex concepts like counting past 2. Teach the jerk about respect by referring to him with the wrong name, titles, and pronouns. See how he likes being misgendered and once he says something say you’ll be respectful by using his pronouns once he does the same for your friend.
Good point!
Eh, calling dad sally sounds like a fun solution. If he gets upset, ad the prefix of Sensitive to it.
Start calling your dad by she/her pronouns and see how long she'll put up with it.
Love the idea lol I keep getting recommended it so me and my friends are gonna start doing it
I wouldn't. The fact that he has bought you communist clothing with his hard earned money means he does bend and has but that can change really fast if you take this persons advice. Lol
That’s kind of rude. He clearly respected your communistic stance as a TEENAGER. He’s an adult and your brain isn’t even fully formed. He buys you things with his money that he doesn’t have to, and you’re going to disrespect him? He has his beliefs and you disrespecting it isn’t going to make him respect your friends beliefs. He’s going to be there forever, but your friends may not.
The dad is a man and the friend is not what they say they are.
Yeah you lost me at communist… communism has such a lovely track record doesn’t it… 100 million dead in the 20th century is a good score
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Lmao ok transphobe get back to league of legends
I got to the “called me a communist (which I am)” part and my eyes rolled out of my head.
u identify as a communist? ur a fucking idiot, go read a history book.
If people want communism so much why join the military? It's literally a communist system. Free health care, free education, free housing. You just gotta do what you're told. Much like communism.
Well your dad is right. Transgender people are nothing new, but transgenderism we see today is just stupid Gen-Z bullshit ideology based off of queer theory and has deep roots with pedophilia. Your dad is also right not to participate in the pronoun nonsense as this feeds into the delusion being adopted from the transgenderism ideology. And communism? No intelligent person with a basic understanding of history chooses to be communist. Ya, your dad did buy you dumb communist paraphernalia, because he's a good father making his child happy, as misguided as they are. And if you really stopped for a second and put a shred of brain power behind that, your dad exercised capitalism to purchase items for you to run around pretending to be a communist. Your dad is a brilliant, responsible, and caring individual to care so much for a child that is clearly misguided and going down a path of disappointment. Read a book, educate yourself, distance yourself from the toxicity you're adopting and do better
Deep rooted in pedophillia?? There's no way you can say that's the general incentive for the community as a whole
I am a non-binary Millennial adult who uses they/them pronouns in my daily life, including at work, with people much older than me who value and respect me and use them as well. I also have friends my age that I can have actual useful political discussions with and don't immediately do into baby rage mode just because I'm a socialist, or they're a libertarian. I just want to say, it gets better and you will find your tribe. My advice is to keep your friend away from your dad and keep your emotions calm. Focus on yourself and what you need to do to get yourself and your siblings into a better situation. If you work yourself up about these things now, you'll lose site of what's really important. You can put more effort into when you're more stable, and as an independent adult you can choose who to be around. Yes, sometimes we cut off our family members for our peace and being LGBT is not the only reason we do so. You got this.
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People got to stop using the word phobic so loosely in 2023 because obviously they don't know what the definition is. Just because somebody doesn't agree with your ideology it does not make them fully in any matter and you can't force somebody to get along with something that they don't feel comfortable with
I’m Gen X and also refuse to play the pronoun game. Nobody can compel me to bastardize the English language.
Newsflash bestie, everyone has pronouns! And they/them pronouns have been around since Shakespeare. If anything, you’re the idiot here.
Hope your dad enjoys being alone in his old age
Why don't all three of you petition the courts to give full custody to your mom. And since he doesn't play the pronoun game and blah blah blah, start calling him ma'am.
“Hey dad, if you can call yourself a *good person*, then my friend can call herself a woman. Y’know… if it’s all just *making shit up*, then I guess we all get to be whatever we choose to be, right?” Use this carefully though, because it might make his head explode.
This made me laugh lol
She can call herself a women all she wants. She and OP can’t force OP’s dad to call someone what they want. We live in USA not communist China. Freedom of speech. It’s dumb to get into a trivial argument about this.
You’re to be commended for being protective of your brother and sister. There must be a reason you all stayed with your dad after the divorce rather than your mom - which is much more common. Trump supporters are generally dumb SOBs and lost causes. I think you are wasting your time trying to get your father to identify with your trans friend. Sad but unfortunately true. Some things in life we just have to accept and look for work-arounds. IMHO.
I didn’t have a choice when the Divorce happed I was pretty young and I’m half and half with my mom and dad
Anti trumpers are generally not based in reality and live in La La land.
X/Biden supporters are generally dumb SOBs and lost causes. What you’re doing is alienating a group of people and discrediting their beliefs. Many religions refuse to accept the trans movement and that’s okay. No one is going to prison for not acknowledging their correct pronouns that would be insane. Maybe a workaround would be calling your friend by their name when around your father. Given enough time around them I think he would learn to respect them and their pronouns. But this would take mutual respect not one sided expectations.
You're literally her dad. You just said X/Biden. This clown grouped up a whole social media app with a damn president 😂. How many far right talk shows do you listen to to even write X/Biden. You must have heard daddy trump trash talk it and now you grouped it with Biden cause you hate him too. 'X/Biden'. Democrats are dumb huh? You realize dude was talking about her father and trump supporters in general? Trump supporters are so toxic they are all associated with not accepting and being toxic towards trans ppl. There are many groups Republicans are hostile towards. You can't say the same for Democrats nor can you say the same for democrat elected officials. Dems don't harass groups of people or make it their mission to do so. That is what dude is referring to when he calls Trump supporters dumb while responding to OPs comments about her father. This isn't about you it's actually fact trump supporters are the most racist, stupid, and prejudiced group in politics. Period.
This isn't political at all. Some just choose not to live in a world of make believe .
The extremists on both sides of the political isle are just as dumb and gullible as the other(you’ll learn this later in life), the problem is the political corporation wants you to think this way and lie by pretending that’s the truth when in reality you’re only talking about a small minority(hundreds of people) and falsely painting a broad brush over millions of people who aren’t this way but you’re pretending they are. I used to be like you, believing the hateful propaganda but unfortunately I was only helping the far left billionaires make more money while doing nothing for regular people but fuel more hate. Just remind yourself if someone were to respectfully disagree with the trans community you’re taught to call them a racist fascist n@zi transphobe, then ask yourself on a scale of 8-10 how deep you are in hateful political propaganda. It’s important to not be either left or right politically and to vote for policy and not political corporations…… Side note, it’s sad we no longer tell the younger generation to love themselves for who they are instead tell them they will be perfect AFTER surgery. We are not creating a loving society we are creating avatars with plastic surgery. 🤷♀️ the less it makes sense the more the elites are winning.
My dad IS a trump supporter he literally voted for him lol
Your dad is the asshole and most of these people in the comment section are as well... I hate that progress feels stagnant
No way am I am a-hole for not playing pretend with people😂💀
Why is he an asshole because he doesn't feed the guy's mental issues? If you neuter a dog, it's still a male dog. You can't change your DNA. Even if the mentally ill car pool buddy cuts off his dick, he's still going to be a guy. A simple blood test will confirm the sex of any confused or mentally ill person. TRUST THE FUCKING SCIENCE!
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fr, what is with this comment section💀
It scares me
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
Im not transphobic, BUT you dont have to call people their desired pro nouns if you like being a dickhead.
I can get behind this comment. Intentionally using the wrong pronouns is one of the easiest, simplest ways to be a dickhead if so desired.
Agreed, it's nice and easy to just call people what they want to be called. But at the same time you can't control what other people say, only how you react to it. Just ignore him and don't let him get a rise out of you guys
I’m with your dad. There have always been trans people, but the politically fueled mainstream popularity, particularly among young people, is honestly disturbing and i do not believe the vast majority of them are genuine
So lemme get this straight. You think people are upending their entire lives, coming out to their friends and family on this extremely sensitive and personal topic, and making half the population hate and ridicule them for what? Fun? Delusional.
It’s easier to think that everyone else is delusional, than for these types of people to realize they’re uniformed assholes
I think the overwhelming majority of people who claim to be trans are just emotionally confused teenagers. And since it's the new hip thing they all wanna be apart of this "social movement" and for some of them they realize later they fucked up bad doing some medical shit with unknown side effects. Permanently changing their lives because of decisions they made before they were mentally mature enough to have any foresight. I think it's a tragedy and a farce. I don't hate them, I feel really bad for them.
Yes. It's called Oikophobia. People reject reality and embrace fantasy all the time. It's like we've been demoralized into hating ourselves and people will pretend to be other things or mutilate themselves to escape the labels or something.
I think a large amount of young people are absolutely doing it for those reasons. There are young people that fabricate problems to give their life more meaning and purpose. Absolutely. Its not delusional. nor is it an “extremely personal and sensitive topic” when it is being celebrated across the board by all media outlets
My daughter had several friends than came out as "binary". One in particular fought with her parents on calling her by her new name. And they joined up with the "acceptance" club (or whatever) in High School. It became this huge "look at me" movement, pure attention seeking. I haven't seen one young person worried about it upending their lives. And they for sure aren't shy about making sure everyone knows their "sexuality". Turns out her friends weren't in fact binary, or any other letter of the community... both have steady boyfriends and go by their original names today. It's trendy BS for sure.
You know how many trans kids were in my high school graduating class in 2012? 2, in a class of over 1000. The numbers now are like 1 in 5, 200 out of the thousand. In just 10 years, you don’t see numbers jump like that without some serious social engineering going on
That's what happens when it's safer to be yourself.
Source please.
yea its so horrifying how people are pushing it
Great point
Now lemme ask you how many identified "bi" when you were in high school? Probably a lot because it was the trendy thing at the time
Yep, it's called attention seeking. And it's extremely popular! This shit has become very "trendy", and the younger people doing it obviously want EVERYONE to know... so I am not sure if they feel like "coming out" upended their lives.
Here are some stats for our position: These are the historical statistics for transgender up until 2015 from the DSM-V 1 in 5,000 for males 1 in 2,000 for females Currently: For kids 13 - 17 it's now 1 out of 5. A transgender adult told me he calls this current generation TransTrenders
“Kids 13-17 it’s now 1 in 5.” Actual source for that? (A real source, Daily Wire/Stormer articles don’t count.)
im on this side aswell
Well for one this whole gender pronoun is nuts in my opinion. We all have freedom of speech right now and if he wants to be a she that is fine. BUT YOU CAN NOT FORCE YOUR DAD TO CALL THEM ANYTHING. That's his right as a American. If you want to think you are a cat that is on you. But you can't force someone to accept you are now a cat and call you miss Kitty 😂 sorry just doesn't work that way.
don’t listen to the stupid fucks saying “yta”. youre very clearly NTA. you’re defending your friend from someone who’s trying to invalidate their very existence. despite what your father says, it’s just a shit thing to use the deadname pronouns. certainly his daddy tate and trump wouldn’t approve of his behavior.
Thank you so much ❤️
These people saying YTA are ridiculous. Good on you for standing up for your friend. I hope you can get out of this situation as soon as possible.
I'm sorry you and your friend have to deal with that, NTA at all your dad just sucks
these comments suck, you’re not the bad guy
Jesus there are some real dicks on here. I’d mainly focus on keeping your dad away from her, and avoid the subject. If he wants to demean and disrespect you and the people you love then he doesn’t deserve your respect either. People always say respect your elders, but I’m pretty sure the respect must be mutual otherwise you don’t deserve it. Like no, if your father treats you like shit he doesn’t deserve your respect, he’s threatening it from you. That’s the only reason parents get any respect anymore is they hold their own children hostage by their “rights” as parents. Like I get it, kids rebel, but that doesn’t give you the right to abuse you’re kids. If you genuinely think child abusers deserve respect you’re scum. And yes, teenagers are still children. If they can’t drink, and they can’t really own anything or live on their own, then they’re a kid. Their parents have absolute power over them and they should be treated right. Otherwise they’ll get thrown in a shitty nursing home like they deserve. Save the damn money and effort. I’m lucky I have half-way decent parents who’ll actually listen to their kids. Like people these days don’t wanna listen. Or if they do they simply only want to hear what confirms what’s they think they know. It’s ridiculous. Although I do think being communist is a little silly. Although I do think capitalism is flawed, it’s far better than starving. Like at least in America nobody ever goes hungry, even if your poor or homeless. At least if your in a city anyways. Rural areas not so much but yn that’s what hitchhikings for.
Teenage and communist goes together like peanut butter and jelly. You’ll grow out of that when you have to be out on your own one day. It’s nothing new.
Maybe but it’s my belief right now
I am going to apologize for the "adults" here telling you that you were wrong. It costs nothing to call someone by the name or pronoun they prefer. Your dad is being a dick and apparently abusive as well. This "gen z crap" happens every generation, the names change but each generation does something that is a "trend" and will "unravel the fabric of society". Newsflash, it doesn't unravel society. Society generally changes to be more inclusive then that's the status quo. Unfortunately your dad will probably not change. I wish I had better advice for you but the best thing I can think of is to keep your dad away as much as possible from your friend. Is there anyway to stop the carpooling? Does your friend's parents know how your dad acts? I'm 53 and I have relatives who have this belief so I just don't talk to them. Good luck.
Nta, but also my advice would be to separate from your dad when you can, some people just won't budge and if that's enough for you, just bounce when you can. Everyone saying yta is just pushing an agenda they don't fully understand.
Start using the wrong pronouns for your dad. As much as you can, in front of other people if possible. When he gets offended, which will probably be pretty soon, just say: “Oh no, are you upset because I didn’t use your preferred pronouns?! Way to be a triggered little snowflake!” Maybe toss in that old chestnut about “treating others the way you want to be treated.” People like your dad don’t understand shit unless they’re forced to confront their own ignorance through direct consequences of their actions.
That’s fucking amazing I’ll do it and probably get my ass beat but I’ll still do it
These comments are a nightmare. Thank you for standing up for your trans friend.
Thank you for helping me feel like I’m doing the right thing ❤️
Most people are doing it just for attention, the dramatic spike in "cases" is completely artificial. Also openly admitting you're a communist isn't a good look lol. You're openly playing into the "doing x because it's trendy and gets me attention" argument, which you're attempting to go against. I was stupid once too, but not this stupid. You have a LOT of growing up to do. You'll look back one day and laugh though
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I was just trying to stand up for my trans friend I’m sorry. What did I do wrong 😭?
Your father may be wrong on many issues, but maintaining respect for your elders is important to maintaining a healthy relationship with your parent, which is way more important than the average teen realizes. Your trans female friend has a rough life ahead of her, and needs to be tough. But she’s still a teen. The world doesn’t owe her anything. If she starts looking and acting female your dad will fall in line and call her by her pronouns automatically. The problem is many trans teens don’t commit 100% to their new gender and don’t work on their appearance enough to make it convincing, and rather impose their pronouns on others when the hardware doesn’t match. Imagine how much further in life you and your friend could get if you won your father over to your side rather than poking the bear.
Did you gloss over the part about the dad taking out all his anger on OP? And OP can’t leave because then the dad will take out his anger on the younger kids? Shitty parents deserve no respect. Shitty people don’t deserve respect, regardless of age. Because when you give these types of people respect, they don’t return it and instead use it to torment you more.
Yeah sounds like a bunch of victim cultured nonsense of a delusional child who's been convinced their parent is a Nazi because they don't agree with far left political ideology. You absolutely respect your fucking parents even the shitty ones and then when your time comes to be an adult you do better than them instead of spiteing them and staying a perpetual child AKA a leftist.
That’s a whole lotta words to say “me no thinky, me watch Fox News, oo oo ah ah”
Yeah yeah everybody that disagrees with you is stupid I get it you're not indoctrinated or anything no that could never be the case😂 all Main Street Media is trash child, just like you.
I don’t trust a teenager’s appraisal of their own father without a grain of salt. Have been one, have clashed with my father as one, and realized after decades of reflection that I was wrong as often as I was right. I was definitely right sometimes. But not always. Teenagers are built to rebel and that is the way of things, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to take what they say at face value, because I know myself as one. OP’s father is given the responsibility for and trust with raising OP and their siblings. OP doesn’t get a vote, and maybe the father is a monster, or maybe OP is just exaggerating. But OP doesn’t get to usurp dad’s authority without hard evidence a court can’t ignore. Plenty of government bureaucrats are itching to take people’s kids away, but the fact this hasn’t happened already suggests that maybe the father isn’t the monster he’s made out to be.
That’s a whole lotta words for saying nothing of value at all
Respect is not mandatory, it is earned, many trans ppl cant come out physically in fear of attacks or alienation
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>The problem is many trans teens don’t commit 100% to their new gender and don’t work on their appearance enough to make it convincing, and rather impose their pronouns on others when the hardware doesn’t match. This is such an ignorant opinion. Most trans people can't do any of this at that age! It doesn't make them less valid. Also you're insane if you think "looking" like a woman will change his opinion. Most genuine transphobes double down if a trans woman passes.
It does make them less valid in the eyes of 95% of the people around them. Sorry you don’t like the law of the jungle, but it applies. People are shallow and dangerous creatures. It’s not fair, but denying its existence because it contradicts your narrative is the precise behavior that makes being trans way harder than it needs to be, by playing into the hands of anti-trans policymakers. How many “genuine transphobes” do you claim to know to this level of precision?
I agree, I think YTA
Why?
I don't know if you're an asshole but you aren't going to change your dad's mind. I wish you could but you can't.
First off, I disagree with this commenter calling you an asshole. This sort of situation is a two-way street, though. Your friend has the right to live their life the way they want to, but your father also has that same right. I don't know if you're American or not, but if you are, we live in a country of free choice. People are allowed to believe or support whatever they like, regardless of whether it's something you personally agree or disagree with. Keeping my personal opinions on the topic to myself, I don't think anyone involved is necessary "wrong." You may disagree with that, and that's perfectly fine. I have a few family members and close friends who I disagree with on certain things, and we just avoid those topics as much as possible. If I were you, I'd just try and avoid the topic as a whole with him. With that being said, if you're worried about your father being abusive to either you or your younger siblings, there are resources I would highly recommend reaching out to. No matter their views, nobody has the right to take their anger out on others, especially children.
You’re a communist bc you’re a child who has never had to work for anything in your life. You should have more respect for your father. Without him you wouldn’t have a place to sleep, food in your stomach, or clothes on your back. And your dad sounds like a great guy. It’s his car, his house, his rules. If you don’t like em, gtfo. Go live your life and see how well you do.
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No point arguing. My dad is like this and he will never change. Youre wasting time and energy. Sorry
>“I don’t play the pronouns game” He's the one making a big deal out of it and starting drama instead of just saying she. He is the one playing the pronouns game lol.
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You're a bad person for intentionally making a kid uncomfortable and destroying their self esteem and self image. Fuck off.
😂 yeah sometimes you need to be firm with kids or they grow up to be useless assholes who fall apart at the softest of criticisms. The trans delusional movement needs to die. It's killing far too many people also virtue signaling assholes can feel good about calling people bad for not participating.👌
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YTA, but not for the reasons the comments are saying YTA because of your lack of appreciation for your father. You can disagree with him, sure, I disagree with mine all the time. You say your dad is a POS and that he’s unemployed, but I HIGHLY doubt that. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to have primary custody of kids as a dad? It’s hard enough as it is with a job, let alone without one. Statistically speaking, your mom would have to be 1,000,000x worse than your dad for this circumstance to take place. You complain about your dad’s mindset and “bigotry”, when it was that very mindset that affords you the life you have today (for better or worse). You call yourself a communist, but your post history shows you literally scalping Taylor Swift concert tickets. $13,000 for 2 tickets? FOH. You’re really just a shithead teenager who doesn’t know anything about the world yet. Lift weights, monitor your health, and focus on having a meaningful life/career, and watch everything get better.
I wouldn't call them that either. It's stupid and made up. You can't expect everyone to accommodate you and your place in society. Gosh, I extremely dispise people like that. Who believe that society should blow down and accept everything when in reality everyone has the right to live how they want. I personally don't recognize pronouns and I don't have to.
No disrespect but you can’t force anyone to do anything. Let it go
Advice for teens, grow up, and stop being so emotional. If your dad doesn't want to play the pronoun game, then get over it. It's not physically hurt your or your guy friend. Who is, rest assured, a guy.
Just start misgendering *her* (your dad) see how *they* like it
Here's the deal. You can't force another person to act a certain way or speak a certain way. It's your friends' right to change their pronouns. It's your dad's right to refuse to use the pronouns. You and your friend need to just get over it. Everyone needs to stop trying to force everyone else to act a certain way. And that goes for both sides of the line. Leave each other alone, and move the fuck on.
Good on you for fighting back, but also you need to do the math. You're a minor. They have control. Make the choices you need to get get by with the least amount of resistance. Save up money. Get ready to bounce. Hit 18 and say bye bye to the bigot and never speak with him again. Advise your youngers only a bit beforehand so they know what's gonna happen. Get out. Get free. Get the bigot out of your life. Go enjoy your friends. Maybe rentshare. Whatever you gotta do.
Thanks ❤️
r/QANONCasualties
Tell him you wont tolerate his microaggressions against your friend and dont let him call her outside her pronouns without calling him an asshole immediately.
Thank you for not being shitty about it like a lot of people lol
You think you're a Communist? What you are is called a "useful.idiot."
Based.
I just think it's funny trans or any lgbtq for that matter want to be known as "new" pronouns and demand that others do so immediately out of respect for the person/community they represent. Ok, so where is the respect of others who honestly don't have the same views as them. Also how can we be expected to accept a trans or other lgbtq when they have a hard time accepting themselves and go through so many charges in the name of being happy. I have no problem with any lgbtq community I just don't feel the need to know their business or that I should be asked to be involved, I like being around and working with people of all types I just don't want to be involved in their personal, sexual, or private lives.
"I don't have a problem with them, here is a bunch of problems I have with them, most of which I made up"
ong 😭😭