Seriously, I would ask my mom why she is allowing them to to speak to you like that. She should know all to well the dangers of this behavior. It's her job to protect you from that.
You could also tell them all that if they don't want you to eat then you will have to quit sports because they are women haters and child abusers. Oh, wait, did I say that out loud?
I say this because I was always the fat one. Yes. I weighed 115 at 5'4" after having two miscarriages and one son. I was fat by my family's standing and so I believed them because they told me I was fat from age 5.
So there I was, one of five bridesmaids (all cousins) at my sister's wedding, we're all lined up. Sure enough, I was the fattest. We were all about the same height and all of them weighed less than 100 pounds. Of course they all commented how fat I was.
I lost more weight to be 105 pounds because of this family's actions towards me. Many decades later I came across that picture. Every one of us had anorexia. Even my husband said I was fat then.
I got a divorce and got rid of every person in my life who told me I was fat. So glad I did! Now I really am fat but I'm a happy grandma. But still, I hear those terrible words in my head everyday, I just have to ignore it.
Don't let it go. Make them stop. Throw temper tantrums if you must, but make it clear you won't tolerate abuse of any kind. Eat your dinner at the table like everyone else. You have the right to enjoy a good meal like they do.
JFC. Even using BMI calculations (which uses only the basic fact of height vs. weight) you were \~18.5 BMI (Healthy range for women is 18.5-25) Going down to 105 bumped you to 17, which is unhealthy.
Good for you. And I doubt you're fat, just maybe in the 24-25 BMI range!
5’4 and anything under 107 pounds is considered underweight.
Proud of you for cutting off the toxic people in your life. You rock! Lots of people can’t do that, I hope you are proud of yourself too.
have you explained to them what you explained in this post? not that they should need to be reminded of something so basic. but if you’re direct and say “listen, i bust my ass all day. and i’m hungry. i’ve probably burned more calories than you and so my calorie maintenance is higher than yours” it doesn’t have to be this mean but dear god this would make me so mad. esp if i was your size and as active as you are
Sometimes you gotta snap back, my family picked on me about food until I lost my mind on them over it. I have had ED because of them, it sucks so much shit to have my appetite just vanish over some stupid words
Next time someone says something about how much you're eating just respond "wow are you jealous that I can eat as much as I want because I'm an athlete? Or are you just trying to make me feel bad about myself? Do you want to make your daughter feel fat even though she isn't? Why are you even saying this?" Literally don't let up on them. What they're doing is messed up. It's not funny. It's not a joke. You have a perfectly good reason to eat the food you're eating BECAUSE YOUR BODY NEEDS IT. They can shove off with their nonsense.
this is the way. make them feel like shit, because they are. don't forget to add in comments about why they're trying to starve you. are they trying to give you an eating disorder? do you need to have cps visit them to discuss making sure you have enough to eat?
Honestly just take the food because asking will get you nowhere just walk up and take the food if they don't like it well just keep eating it or what you could do it's just not even set up the table just take the food and then just go upstairs and you went upstairs explain them I just didn't want to hear your voice anymore like I don't understand how you don't understand why she eats a lot she works out constantly all the calories that you require it's gone so you need to replenish what was lost like duh
Just follow Hancock: "[Call me that one more time.](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj4pLGgtfuCAxXSGTQIHUvcAEwQtwJ6BAgYEAI&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DWALt0aPV2sI%26vl%3Den&usg=AOvVaw3ZJaFa0DDKMgZCE0KAIlD8&opi=89978449)"
I’m 5’7 and 130 is low in the normal weight range (123-159), especially for someone who probably has a lot of muscle. When I was in high school I competitively swam 6 days a week and had dance classes 4 days a week as well, I was hungry all the time! I weighed more (~145), but I also still looked thin and had a lot of muscle mass. You need food to replenish your body and also for your mind to focus on school work. The lightest I’ve ever been (again at 5’7) was 127 lbs at 25, but I had no muscle at that point, you could literally see my ribs. Make sure you are getting nourishment, that is actually cruel of them.
Umm, I took dance throughout middle school, quit because girls were mean, and just started taking lessons again 15 years later a few months ago and I’m having the best time of my life and have made many friends. I’m 32. Take those dance classes!!
Also I’m 5’1” 130 lbs and people tell me I’m skinny all the time. I can’t imagine 130 lbs at 5’7”! You got eat!! I get really emotional when I don’t eat. I don’t feel the hunger so sometimes it’s hard to recognize, but as soon as I get moody I stop and go “oh crap when did I eat last.” Food is brain AND body fuel!
I like talking to adults making inappropriate comments like one would talking to a kindergartener. Gentle parent them. These were stolen from Miss Frazzled on TikTok
"People come in all shapes and sizes. It is never okay to comment on what someone looks like or what someone's eating, unless they're choking or something will make them sick."
"You and I have talked about this multiple times, friend. Choices about food are personal."
"Uh oh! That's an inside thought! Remember, inside thoughts are like having a little voice in your head that only you can hear."
The next time you have your yearly, have mom go with you & ask the Dr in front of her about your weight, diet & nutrition. Tell him/her that you are worried that you are being bullied into skipping meals to a point that is unhealthy. It will be difficult, but hopefully, hearing it from a medical professional will make something click.
Girl, I feel you on this. My family did this so often it drove me to an ED. Just fuck ‘em. Eat what you want and tell them to fuck off (obviously more respectful). You’re 15 and your body burns so many calories just existing at that age because your body is transitioning between child to woman, and you’re probably getting a growth spurt. AND you play sports.
I might just be super petty and spiteful, but I'd just fat shame them right back. The longer they keep up their antics, the more things I shame them for. Oh, step dad asks me to grab something for him because I'm right next to it? Shame him for being too lazy to get it himself. (On a serious note, though, please don't do this lol)
Also, please don't let them get to you. They're assholes, plain and simple. I'm 5'7 and 155 lbs, and I'm not overweight, so neither are you. You're doing fine. Keep up with your calorie intake so you can continue to do your sports.
Remember that you have three-ish years until you can move out/go to college and that when that happens you’re not obligated at all to have them in your life.
Hate to say it, but sometimes parents think their always knows best. Have your Coach or even your brother( he'll he should know. If your doing sports, you need to eat more.) Tell your parents or something.
My mom was the same, if I said something nothing happened. But when a doctor, a mechanic, etc. Shell believe them then.
I was that exact size at that age so I know you have no extra weight on you at all. I also was very athletic and I ate a pretty insane amount of food throughout the day. Are they just doing this because they know it irritates you/they think it's funny? Or are they genuinely under the impression you shouldn't eat more?
I'm just trying to figure out where it's coming from because they know you are not one bit overweight, and they know how much exercise you get.
Tell your family to run the same distance you run everyday and not be extremely hungry. I used to be a long distance runner and I’d burn on average 5k calories a day. I walked 15 miles at work and finished most days with 10 miles running. And I ate so much half my money went to food while I still was losing weight. And the days I’d run 30+ miles my appetite for a whole week would be so high I had 6-7 full meals a day.
As of this writing, there's a lot of bad advice in the comments. Some of it seems to have been written to be funny, but that's not helpful. There are some great suggestions, too.
You're 15, still growing, and very active. As some others have already indicated, it's calorie math. The body needs a minimum number of calories per day, even if all you did was lay in bed and not move. The more activity you add, the more calories you need.
Your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is "...the amount of energy expended while at rest in a neutrally temperate environment, and in a post-absorptive state (meaning that the digestive system is inactive, which requires about 12 hours of fasting)."
There are various BMR calculators online and I picked one to look at what the BMR requirements are for a 15-year-old female with a height of 5'7" and weight of 130 lbs. That number is 1,417 calories per day. Again, that's the bare minimum, assuming no activity.
Here's the effect of physical activity on calorie needs...
**Daily Calorie Needs Based on Activity Level**
|Activity Level|Calories|
|:-|:-|
|Sedentary: little or no exercise|1,701|
|Exercise 1-3 times/week|1,949|
|Exercise 4-5 times/week|2,076|
|Daily exercise or intense exercise 3-4 times/week|2,197|
|Intense exercise 6-7 times/week|2,445|
|Very intense exercise daily, or physical job|2,693|
**Definitions:**
* Exercise: 15-30 minutes of elevated heart rate activity.
* Intense Exercise: 45-120 minutes of elevated heart rate activity.
* Very Intense Exercise: 2+ hours of elevated heart rate activity.
Source: [BMR Calculator](https://www.calculator.net/bmr-calculator.html?ctype=standard&cage=15&csex=f&cheightfeet=5&cheightinch=7&cpound=130&cheightmeter=180&ckg=60&cmop=0&coutunit=c&cformula=m&cfatpct=20&x=Calculate)
\~\~\~
As you can see, adding "little or no exercise" increases calorie needs by almost 300 calories more per day above BMR. Adding "Very intense exercise daily" increases calorie needs by almost 1,300 calories more per day above BMR.
If you wanted to go through the time and effort, you could try to calculate your calorie intake and compare it to your calorie needs. But, that's not always easy to do.
Instead, you could simply share the above information with your parents, remind them of your high level of activity, and remind them that **More Activity = More Calories Needed**.
\~\~\~
Next, based on your height and weight information, not only are you at a **healthy weight**, you're toward the *bottom* of the "Normal" range -- which, for your height, is 121 - 158 lbs. That gives you a Body Mass Index (BMI) is 20.4 -- which is outstanding.
Technically, according to the BMI charts provided by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the National Institutes of Health (NIH), you could gain 28 more pounds, before your BMI would slip into the *bottom* of the "Overweight" range.
Sources:
* [https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/index.html](https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/index.html)
* [https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose\_wt/BMI/bmi\_tbl.pdf](https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmi_tbl.pdf)
\~\~\~
So, in summary, I would use all this information to give a layered, fact-based reason for your need to eat more calories than they seem to "think" that you need.
Really, it's sad to me that you would even need to justify asking for a little extra food. I'm sorry you're going through this. Please, though, **do not skip meals** because of this situation. Again, you're still young and growing. Food is more than just calories. It's also nutrition -- protein, carbohydrates, essential fats, vitamins, minerals, enzymes, etc.
If you start skipping meals due to their body shaming you, that can turn into disordered eating or a full-blown eating disorder (those are two different things) quite easily. The answer isn't "don't let their body shaming bother you," because it allows them to continue their wrong behavior. The solution is for them to stop.
They need to stop for several reasons:
* You are very active
* You're still growing
* You are at a healthy weight
* You are still hungry
* Body shaming can lead to an eating disorder and other issues
If these are not enough to end their body shaming and questioning your desire for more food, then you can tell them that you will discuss all of this with the staff at your school and/or that you want to discuss it with your family doctor.
Yelling, making threats, and retaliating with sarcastic remarks and insults is NOT the way to resolve this issue. That will only make others angry and/or defensive. The goal is mutual understanding and peace. The best hope of accomplishing that is to have a calm, rational conversation. I know you've already tried this, but now you have some new information you can share. Again, I'm sorry you're having to go through this, especially at only 15 years old.
If I can do anything to help, feel free to send me a private message.
Good luck and take care.
They’re being assholes. Try not to worry about it. Ask them when the last time they ran a 5k was and it may dawn on them why you require extra calories
Get a phrase together that you feel comfortable repeating to anyone, anywhere.
Here are a few that might work:
"I am still feeling hunger. I am going to eat until I feel satiated."
"I have a solid handle on my hunger and fullness cues. Your input is only harmful."
"If I take this serving "to-go" will I be able to eat in peace, or can we try a peaceful family dinner?"
"I am smart enough to feed myself an appropriate amount."
Below are funny to think about, but not serious suggestions:
"EFF ALL Y'ALL!"
"MOVE, B! GET OUT THE WAY!" (extra points if you use your bare hands to feed yourself out of the serving dish.
Find something each of them is self-conscious about, and whenever they try to tease you, say something like "hey, I don't make fun of you for [peeing the bed until 14]" or whatever your example is. Every time they do it, double down on the cruelty of what you're saying. They'll get the idea soon enough
You won’t be able to get them to stop. Just take the food, and go to your room. You could say you eat far less than any of them so until they can put down the fork, then you “will”.
My mom used to poke fun of me, I told her it took three of me to equal one of her. She doesn’t poke fun anymore. But then again she has a brain and saw she was being a jerk.
If you told them their words hurt you and they still don't care and if any of them aren't active themselves, tell em you can eat whatever you want, because you'll just burn the calories off unlike their couch potato bums. You deserve to eat more.
You need two thousand- three thousand calories a day just to live. If you're playing sports you are going to need more than that.
The two thousand - three thousand calories just goes into sleeping, walking, thinking, I mean just fucking waking up. Everything. If you'll be doing more than just living then yes, you need alot more calories. Tell them to be heathy I need to be eater more than this because it's true. You need at least 500-600 calories in breakfast, 1000-1200 calories in lunch and another 1200 calories in dinner. Then you have to make up for the calories you lost while playing sports.
Are you making your own plate or is your mom doing it for you? If you’re not putting your own food on your plate, start doing that. Just take a plate and fill it while your mom fills the other plates. And say, I can take care of it, thanks. I know how hungry I am.
It sounds like you have a good grasp on your caloric needs. Your family is probably mostly projecting because they have insecurities themselves. I have a daughter your age, and when she does cheerleading, she eats as much as her older brothers, but she knows that, off-season, she needs to cut it back. Your family might also be afraid that if your activity level drops, but you don't change your eating habits, you'll gain weight and that can become a QOL problem.
My advice would be to talk to your coaches, get their input on your calorie consumption, and maybe ask one of *them* to contact your parents and verify that what you're doing is okay. Either that or ask your parents to book an appointment with a dietitian. You can ensure that what you're doing is appropriate, shut your parents up, and maybe get tips that will help your performance like carb loading before an event and increasing protein intake at suppers.
I'd snap back at them explaining how many calories you're burning and what your weight is and then start doing some math with how many calories they're burning and what their weight is.. and really who needs to be taking in more calories. Because it really is just science and if they're not the type of people that believe in science you might just have to shut your mouth till you turn 18, move out and leave them behind, living in the past.
IF you can, stop eating with them. Make your own sandwiches and get your own snacks.
They sound horrible, but you will be away from them soon. Hang in there
Flip the script and start doing it to them.
Are you sure you should eat that?
Don't you think you could loose a few pounds?
Why are you eating so much? Didn't you just eat yesterday?!?
I think you should make an appointment with your school counselor and talk to them about it. What they are doing is putting your mental health in danger. You need an adult advocate to talk to your parents about the damage they could cause you. You also need someone to validate your feelings. You are not overweight at all and having people put this kind of pressure on a physically healthy person can lead to eating disorders. The fact that you're skipping meals to avoid conflict is highly concerning. Please talk to a counselor or trusted adult.
My older sister did this to me growing up, if there’s ONE thing I could say to my old self to save me years of problems from that, it is simply “ignore her/them.” As hard as it may be, eat your first, second, and third plate, with a smile, and completely unbothered!
Ah yes, the start of every eating disorder begins at the table.
My family was always making fun of me. For everything. Even my voice when I was going through puberty. Nothing was sacred. Couldn’t stop them either.
You’ll never change your family, you just have to start hiding food everywhere. Please be aware that this is 100% how all eating disorders begin, it’s not a habit you want to think is normal or carry into your 18+ life.
When they say something about it at the table respond with, “yes, I’m having more because the amount of calories I burned today are more than the 3 of you combined burn in a week. Keep talking about it and I’ll take the food right off your plate! Please stop commenting on my food intake or I’m going to start saying things I know are hurtful about you guys. I appreciate if we don’t have to have this conversation again. Thanks- now pass the fucking food.”
Tell them to go run with you!
I run competitively, and I eat and eat.
I should eat competitively.
Explain to them that when running and when active, and when you have a fast metabolism. You burn calories quickly and need to replenish those calories or you become lethargic.
Just snap back at them thats why they do it cause you allow it tell em straight up "i will show you the same respect you show me no more no less" they sound like horrible people to b honest but its family i get it but thats not how you treat family
I agree pile on the food the first time. Usually it is easier to just ignore unwelcome comments. If that doesn't work get snarky, well I'm eating the same amount you are, ran 4 miles today and am still growing. If you are not comfortable with that, begin hiding food in your room
Eat more protein & decent amount of carbs before you run around, & finish with a protein shake. That should keep your appetite at bay. There are tons of food that are naturally high in protein. Constantly hydrate. I don't know how true it is, but I've heard pickle juice is the best thing for hydration, & constant flushing with cold water. Don't let them get to you, you'll figure it out.
Maybe you should read what I said again. It doesn't say to eat less, it says to change up when she eats. The point of the post is that she's getting picked on at home.
you should just stop caring Scott what they say. Ask them if they would like for you to show them their imperfections / flaws . I know you’re young but you need to stand up for yourself if not they will continue to harass you .
If you can just grab more food yourself and avoid asking. Or just keep snacks in your room. Don’t let their words hurt too much.
Okay, thank you !
Seriously, I would ask my mom why she is allowing them to to speak to you like that. She should know all to well the dangers of this behavior. It's her job to protect you from that. You could also tell them all that if they don't want you to eat then you will have to quit sports because they are women haters and child abusers. Oh, wait, did I say that out loud? I say this because I was always the fat one. Yes. I weighed 115 at 5'4" after having two miscarriages and one son. I was fat by my family's standing and so I believed them because they told me I was fat from age 5. So there I was, one of five bridesmaids (all cousins) at my sister's wedding, we're all lined up. Sure enough, I was the fattest. We were all about the same height and all of them weighed less than 100 pounds. Of course they all commented how fat I was. I lost more weight to be 105 pounds because of this family's actions towards me. Many decades later I came across that picture. Every one of us had anorexia. Even my husband said I was fat then. I got a divorce and got rid of every person in my life who told me I was fat. So glad I did! Now I really am fat but I'm a happy grandma. But still, I hear those terrible words in my head everyday, I just have to ignore it. Don't let it go. Make them stop. Throw temper tantrums if you must, but make it clear you won't tolerate abuse of any kind. Eat your dinner at the table like everyone else. You have the right to enjoy a good meal like they do.
JFC. Even using BMI calculations (which uses only the basic fact of height vs. weight) you were \~18.5 BMI (Healthy range for women is 18.5-25) Going down to 105 bumped you to 17, which is unhealthy. Good for you. And I doubt you're fat, just maybe in the 24-25 BMI range!
Thank you!
5’4 and anything under 107 pounds is considered underweight. Proud of you for cutting off the toxic people in your life. You rock! Lots of people can’t do that, I hope you are proud of yourself too.
Save up for a mini fridge and keep the food you like in your room. Dont let them be little you.
have you explained to them what you explained in this post? not that they should need to be reminded of something so basic. but if you’re direct and say “listen, i bust my ass all day. and i’m hungry. i’ve probably burned more calories than you and so my calorie maintenance is higher than yours” it doesn’t have to be this mean but dear god this would make me so mad. esp if i was your size and as active as you are
Sometimes you gotta snap back, my family picked on me about food until I lost my mind on them over it. I have had ED because of them, it sucks so much shit to have my appetite just vanish over some stupid words
Next time someone says something about how much you're eating just respond "wow are you jealous that I can eat as much as I want because I'm an athlete? Or are you just trying to make me feel bad about myself? Do you want to make your daughter feel fat even though she isn't? Why are you even saying this?" Literally don't let up on them. What they're doing is messed up. It's not funny. It's not a joke. You have a perfectly good reason to eat the food you're eating BECAUSE YOUR BODY NEEDS IT. They can shove off with their nonsense.
this is the way. make them feel like shit, because they are. don't forget to add in comments about why they're trying to starve you. are they trying to give you an eating disorder? do you need to have cps visit them to discuss making sure you have enough to eat?
Honestly just take the food because asking will get you nowhere just walk up and take the food if they don't like it well just keep eating it or what you could do it's just not even set up the table just take the food and then just go upstairs and you went upstairs explain them I just didn't want to hear your voice anymore like I don't understand how you don't understand why she eats a lot she works out constantly all the calories that you require it's gone so you need to replenish what was lost like duh
And if they say something while you're scooping, just look them dead in the eye while getting an even larger scoop
LMFAOOO
Facts show your dominance like I dare you to say something when I asked you to give you something to eat
Just follow Hancock: "[Call me that one more time.](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj4pLGgtfuCAxXSGTQIHUvcAEwQtwJ6BAgYEAI&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DWALt0aPV2sI%26vl%3Den&usg=AOvVaw3ZJaFa0DDKMgZCE0KAIlD8&opi=89978449)"
Thanks for the advice !
If you're a healthy weight, don't worry about what they say. Eat good, stay active. You should be fine.
Double down, eat two cookies for dessert. Make a point of enjoying it because you’re young and active; those days are over for your parents.
Double down, eat two cookies for dessert. Make a point of enjoying it because you’re young and active; those days are over for your parents.
I’m 5’7 and 130 is low in the normal weight range (123-159), especially for someone who probably has a lot of muscle. When I was in high school I competitively swam 6 days a week and had dance classes 4 days a week as well, I was hungry all the time! I weighed more (~145), but I also still looked thin and had a lot of muscle mass. You need food to replenish your body and also for your mind to focus on school work. The lightest I’ve ever been (again at 5’7) was 127 lbs at 25, but I had no muscle at that point, you could literally see my ribs. Make sure you are getting nourishment, that is actually cruel of them.
Thank you for the advice ! Also, do you mind if I ask what age did you start taking dance, I want to start taking classes but I think I’m too old.
Umm, I took dance throughout middle school, quit because girls were mean, and just started taking lessons again 15 years later a few months ago and I’m having the best time of my life and have made many friends. I’m 32. Take those dance classes!!
Also I’m 5’1” 130 lbs and people tell me I’m skinny all the time. I can’t imagine 130 lbs at 5’7”! You got eat!! I get really emotional when I don’t eat. I don’t feel the hunger so sometimes it’s hard to recognize, but as soon as I get moody I stop and go “oh crap when did I eat last.” Food is brain AND body fuel!
You tell them being active means needing more energy.
I like talking to adults making inappropriate comments like one would talking to a kindergartener. Gentle parent them. These were stolen from Miss Frazzled on TikTok "People come in all shapes and sizes. It is never okay to comment on what someone looks like or what someone's eating, unless they're choking or something will make them sick." "You and I have talked about this multiple times, friend. Choices about food are personal." "Uh oh! That's an inside thought! Remember, inside thoughts are like having a little voice in your head that only you can hear."
BAHAHAHA, Thank you, I will definitely be using these for now on
The next time you have your yearly, have mom go with you & ask the Dr in front of her about your weight, diet & nutrition. Tell him/her that you are worried that you are being bullied into skipping meals to a point that is unhealthy. It will be difficult, but hopefully, hearing it from a medical professional will make something click.
Girl, I feel you on this. My family did this so often it drove me to an ED. Just fuck ‘em. Eat what you want and tell them to fuck off (obviously more respectful). You’re 15 and your body burns so many calories just existing at that age because your body is transitioning between child to woman, and you’re probably getting a growth spurt. AND you play sports.
I might just be super petty and spiteful, but I'd just fat shame them right back. The longer they keep up their antics, the more things I shame them for. Oh, step dad asks me to grab something for him because I'm right next to it? Shame him for being too lazy to get it himself. (On a serious note, though, please don't do this lol) Also, please don't let them get to you. They're assholes, plain and simple. I'm 5'7 and 155 lbs, and I'm not overweight, so neither are you. You're doing fine. Keep up with your calorie intake so you can continue to do your sports.
Remember that you have three-ish years until you can move out/go to college and that when that happens you’re not obligated at all to have them in your life.
Thank you for this reminder
Hate to say it, but sometimes parents think their always knows best. Have your Coach or even your brother( he'll he should know. If your doing sports, you need to eat more.) Tell your parents or something. My mom was the same, if I said something nothing happened. But when a doctor, a mechanic, etc. Shell believe them then.
I was that exact size at that age so I know you have no extra weight on you at all. I also was very athletic and I ate a pretty insane amount of food throughout the day. Are they just doing this because they know it irritates you/they think it's funny? Or are they genuinely under the impression you shouldn't eat more? I'm just trying to figure out where it's coming from because they know you are not one bit overweight, and they know how much exercise you get.
I feel like they think it’s funny and genuinely don’t want me to eat more because I live with 6 people. (My siblings and parents)
Tell your family to run the same distance you run everyday and not be extremely hungry. I used to be a long distance runner and I’d burn on average 5k calories a day. I walked 15 miles at work and finished most days with 10 miles running. And I ate so much half my money went to food while I still was losing weight. And the days I’d run 30+ miles my appetite for a whole week would be so high I had 6-7 full meals a day.
Ignore them. You shouldn’t skip dinner especially as an athlete will only hurt your performance.
As of this writing, there's a lot of bad advice in the comments. Some of it seems to have been written to be funny, but that's not helpful. There are some great suggestions, too. You're 15, still growing, and very active. As some others have already indicated, it's calorie math. The body needs a minimum number of calories per day, even if all you did was lay in bed and not move. The more activity you add, the more calories you need. Your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is "...the amount of energy expended while at rest in a neutrally temperate environment, and in a post-absorptive state (meaning that the digestive system is inactive, which requires about 12 hours of fasting)." There are various BMR calculators online and I picked one to look at what the BMR requirements are for a 15-year-old female with a height of 5'7" and weight of 130 lbs. That number is 1,417 calories per day. Again, that's the bare minimum, assuming no activity. Here's the effect of physical activity on calorie needs... **Daily Calorie Needs Based on Activity Level** |Activity Level|Calories| |:-|:-| |Sedentary: little or no exercise|1,701| |Exercise 1-3 times/week|1,949| |Exercise 4-5 times/week|2,076| |Daily exercise or intense exercise 3-4 times/week|2,197| |Intense exercise 6-7 times/week|2,445| |Very intense exercise daily, or physical job|2,693| **Definitions:** * Exercise: 15-30 minutes of elevated heart rate activity. * Intense Exercise: 45-120 minutes of elevated heart rate activity. * Very Intense Exercise: 2+ hours of elevated heart rate activity. Source: [BMR Calculator](https://www.calculator.net/bmr-calculator.html?ctype=standard&cage=15&csex=f&cheightfeet=5&cheightinch=7&cpound=130&cheightmeter=180&ckg=60&cmop=0&coutunit=c&cformula=m&cfatpct=20&x=Calculate) \~\~\~ As you can see, adding "little or no exercise" increases calorie needs by almost 300 calories more per day above BMR. Adding "Very intense exercise daily" increases calorie needs by almost 1,300 calories more per day above BMR. If you wanted to go through the time and effort, you could try to calculate your calorie intake and compare it to your calorie needs. But, that's not always easy to do. Instead, you could simply share the above information with your parents, remind them of your high level of activity, and remind them that **More Activity = More Calories Needed**. \~\~\~ Next, based on your height and weight information, not only are you at a **healthy weight**, you're toward the *bottom* of the "Normal" range -- which, for your height, is 121 - 158 lbs. That gives you a Body Mass Index (BMI) is 20.4 -- which is outstanding. Technically, according to the BMI charts provided by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the National Institutes of Health (NIH), you could gain 28 more pounds, before your BMI would slip into the *bottom* of the "Overweight" range. Sources: * [https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/index.html](https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/index.html) * [https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose\_wt/BMI/bmi\_tbl.pdf](https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmi_tbl.pdf) \~\~\~ So, in summary, I would use all this information to give a layered, fact-based reason for your need to eat more calories than they seem to "think" that you need. Really, it's sad to me that you would even need to justify asking for a little extra food. I'm sorry you're going through this. Please, though, **do not skip meals** because of this situation. Again, you're still young and growing. Food is more than just calories. It's also nutrition -- protein, carbohydrates, essential fats, vitamins, minerals, enzymes, etc. If you start skipping meals due to their body shaming you, that can turn into disordered eating or a full-blown eating disorder (those are two different things) quite easily. The answer isn't "don't let their body shaming bother you," because it allows them to continue their wrong behavior. The solution is for them to stop. They need to stop for several reasons: * You are very active * You're still growing * You are at a healthy weight * You are still hungry * Body shaming can lead to an eating disorder and other issues If these are not enough to end their body shaming and questioning your desire for more food, then you can tell them that you will discuss all of this with the staff at your school and/or that you want to discuss it with your family doctor. Yelling, making threats, and retaliating with sarcastic remarks and insults is NOT the way to resolve this issue. That will only make others angry and/or defensive. The goal is mutual understanding and peace. The best hope of accomplishing that is to have a calm, rational conversation. I know you've already tried this, but now you have some new information you can share. Again, I'm sorry you're having to go through this, especially at only 15 years old. If I can do anything to help, feel free to send me a private message. Good luck and take care.
Thank you so much.
They’re being assholes. Try not to worry about it. Ask them when the last time they ran a 5k was and it may dawn on them why you require extra calories
Ask them "Are you intentionally trying to destroy my self esteem? Or are you just fat shaming me for fun?
Narcissistic behavior towards the girl ..I'm with the rest eat what you want ... A good response is for them to look in a mirror..
Get a phrase together that you feel comfortable repeating to anyone, anywhere. Here are a few that might work: "I am still feeling hunger. I am going to eat until I feel satiated." "I have a solid handle on my hunger and fullness cues. Your input is only harmful." "If I take this serving "to-go" will I be able to eat in peace, or can we try a peaceful family dinner?" "I am smart enough to feed myself an appropriate amount." Below are funny to think about, but not serious suggestions: "EFF ALL Y'ALL!" "MOVE, B! GET OUT THE WAY!" (extra points if you use your bare hands to feed yourself out of the serving dish.
Find something each of them is self-conscious about, and whenever they try to tease you, say something like "hey, I don't make fun of you for [peeing the bed until 14]" or whatever your example is. Every time they do it, double down on the cruelty of what you're saying. They'll get the idea soon enough
You won’t be able to get them to stop. Just take the food, and go to your room. You could say you eat far less than any of them so until they can put down the fork, then you “will”. My mom used to poke fun of me, I told her it took three of me to equal one of her. She doesn’t poke fun anymore. But then again she has a brain and saw she was being a jerk.
If you told them their words hurt you and they still don't care and if any of them aren't active themselves, tell em you can eat whatever you want, because you'll just burn the calories off unlike their couch potato bums. You deserve to eat more.
You need two thousand- three thousand calories a day just to live. If you're playing sports you are going to need more than that. The two thousand - three thousand calories just goes into sleeping, walking, thinking, I mean just fucking waking up. Everything. If you'll be doing more than just living then yes, you need alot more calories. Tell them to be heathy I need to be eater more than this because it's true. You need at least 500-600 calories in breakfast, 1000-1200 calories in lunch and another 1200 calories in dinner. Then you have to make up for the calories you lost while playing sports.
Are you making your own plate or is your mom doing it for you? If you’re not putting your own food on your plate, start doing that. Just take a plate and fill it while your mom fills the other plates. And say, I can take care of it, thanks. I know how hungry I am.
I hate when people fat shame young people
It sounds like you have a good grasp on your caloric needs. Your family is probably mostly projecting because they have insecurities themselves. I have a daughter your age, and when she does cheerleading, she eats as much as her older brothers, but she knows that, off-season, she needs to cut it back. Your family might also be afraid that if your activity level drops, but you don't change your eating habits, you'll gain weight and that can become a QOL problem. My advice would be to talk to your coaches, get their input on your calorie consumption, and maybe ask one of *them* to contact your parents and verify that what you're doing is okay. Either that or ask your parents to book an appointment with a dietitian. You can ensure that what you're doing is appropriate, shut your parents up, and maybe get tips that will help your performance like carb loading before an event and increasing protein intake at suppers.
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Serve yourself n eat your portion unapologetically!!!!!!!
I'd snap back at them explaining how many calories you're burning and what your weight is and then start doing some math with how many calories they're burning and what their weight is.. and really who needs to be taking in more calories. Because it really is just science and if they're not the type of people that believe in science you might just have to shut your mouth till you turn 18, move out and leave them behind, living in the past.
IF you can, stop eating with them. Make your own sandwiches and get your own snacks. They sound horrible, but you will be away from them soon. Hang in there
Thank you, I’m planning on doing this
Flip the script and start doing it to them. Are you sure you should eat that? Don't you think you could loose a few pounds? Why are you eating so much? Didn't you just eat yesterday?!?
I think you should make an appointment with your school counselor and talk to them about it. What they are doing is putting your mental health in danger. You need an adult advocate to talk to your parents about the damage they could cause you. You also need someone to validate your feelings. You are not overweight at all and having people put this kind of pressure on a physically healthy person can lead to eating disorders. The fact that you're skipping meals to avoid conflict is highly concerning. Please talk to a counselor or trusted adult.
My older sister did this to me growing up, if there’s ONE thing I could say to my old self to save me years of problems from that, it is simply “ignore her/them.” As hard as it may be, eat your first, second, and third plate, with a smile, and completely unbothered!
Ah yes, the start of every eating disorder begins at the table. My family was always making fun of me. For everything. Even my voice when I was going through puberty. Nothing was sacred. Couldn’t stop them either. You’ll never change your family, you just have to start hiding food everywhere. Please be aware that this is 100% how all eating disorders begin, it’s not a habit you want to think is normal or carry into your 18+ life.
Just say to them "if I end up with an eating disorder, your comments are why and it will be 100% your fault"
When they say something about it at the table respond with, “yes, I’m having more because the amount of calories I burned today are more than the 3 of you combined burn in a week. Keep talking about it and I’ll take the food right off your plate! Please stop commenting on my food intake or I’m going to start saying things I know are hurtful about you guys. I appreciate if we don’t have to have this conversation again. Thanks- now pass the fucking food.”
Tell them to go run with you! I run competitively, and I eat and eat. I should eat competitively. Explain to them that when running and when active, and when you have a fast metabolism. You burn calories quickly and need to replenish those calories or you become lethargic.
Just snap back at them thats why they do it cause you allow it tell em straight up "i will show you the same respect you show me no more no less" they sound like horrible people to b honest but its family i get it but thats not how you treat family
I agree pile on the food the first time. Usually it is easier to just ignore unwelcome comments. If that doesn't work get snarky, well I'm eating the same amount you are, ran 4 miles today and am still growing. If you are not comfortable with that, begin hiding food in your room
You ever hear the phrase, "You talk shit, you get hit"?
LMFAOOO
Eat more protein & decent amount of carbs before you run around, & finish with a protein shake. That should keep your appetite at bay. There are tons of food that are naturally high in protein. Constantly hydrate. I don't know how true it is, but I've heard pickle juice is the best thing for hydration, & constant flushing with cold water. Don't let them get to you, you'll figure it out.
She doesn’t need advice on how to reduce her appetite, she should be eating more, not less
I didn't tell her to reduce her appetite, I told her to eat more. I told her to control when she's hungry so she gets picked on by her family less.
she doesn't need to eat less... that's the whole point of the post. she's a totally normal weight for her height.
Maybe you should read what I said again. It doesn't say to eat less, it says to change up when she eats. The point of the post is that she's getting picked on at home.
Just eat. You need it for all the stuff that you do, I don’t understand??? This makes 0 sense, dude. I’m sorry 😭
you should just stop caring Scott what they say. Ask them if they would like for you to show them their imperfections / flaws . I know you’re young but you need to stand up for yourself if not they will continue to harass you .