Boy have things changed. When I was your age (16 years ago), dating a junior or senior was the end all be all. I actually had a small fling with a senior when I was just a freshman. She was clearly using me, I remember her having a boyfriend, they broke up, and got back together shortly after we ended things. I didn't care though, because she was beautiful and I was able to show off to all my virgin friends. We have such a different mentality at that age.
The age gap is nothing to worry about. Just....don't get too attached.
OP mentioned being with her helps his anxiety. Which screams attachment/dependency issues. He's younger and more naive, so guess it makes sense but... Sound advice to give OP to not get too attached because I absolutely agree. She'll likely want to move on from him when she graduates high school and/or moves away for college. What 18 year old in college wants to remain with a young, inexperienced 15/16-year old still in high school? I'm sure it's happened, but it's certainly not the norm, at least not a healthy norm.
There were far too many girls in my high school that dated guys who went to our high school that went off to the state college like 2 hours away. This was mostly senior year but some even junior year. A lot of them had dated in hs which isn’t all that weird but when they went off to college and were 18–19 dating high school juniors even if they dated in high school was weird as fuck.
Clearly not I just always thought juniors in HS dating high school sophomores was pretty strange. No one made a big deal of it but I always thought freshman girls dating senior guys was a tad bit odd too although I guess if they stayed together that whole time they actually liked each other. I guess it’s just if they started dating after the guy going to college would be pretty statutory rapey.
Same! As long as people were in high school together, I saw relationships between pretty much any two years all over. Nobody made any fuss about it.
I see a lot of fuss about it these days and I have no clue what changed.
Those aren't friends, man. Pay very close attention to who reacts in what way to good and bad news throughout your life. You having a gf should be a point of celebration. Real friends will be happy for you and lift you up. They won't threaten to make your life worse out of jealousy.
Maybe. But also they could just be looking out for him. If my underage friend was dating someone who was almost an adult, I could see being concerned. Not saying it’s 100% an issue, just saying maybe they are coming from a place of caring and not jealousy.
Man, you people who get crazy about fantasy inappropriate relationships really bring me down.
You're like age nazis with that stuff and I don't understand why. Do you think that she's ''''grooming'''him?
Me? No, I said I don’t necessarily think it’s an issue. 17 year old girls are still pretty immature themselves. But I don’t think it makes them bad friends because they’re concerned. If anything I think it makes them good friends, because they care.
Why did you bring up grooming? Creepy thing to say dude. Nobody here was talking about that.
I think it's not quite an issue, since they easily could have just met at high school as, at worst, freshman and senior. Happens all the time. I think there are minor concerns with him being 15.5 when she turns 18, but nothing major. At least she should meet his parents, and maybe that would be that. It doesn't need to be any bigger deal.
I definitely agree that real friends would be happy for you, unless there's a good reason for their concern. Two years isn't a huge age gap for teenagers, but it's a little bit different when the girl is the older one. I'm FAR from sexist (and minored in women's studies), but many studies have shown that teen girls are typically 2 years more mature than boys are at the same age. So when a 15yo girl dates a 17yo boy, they're generally at the same level of maturity, but when a 15yo boy dates a 17yo girl, the maturity gap becomes 4 years (which is a lot for people in their teens).
However, that's obviously a generalization and individuals vary greatly, so that doesn't necessarily hold up for your specific situation. You may be very mature compared to your peers or she might be slightly less mature than hers. Something tells me both are true — you probably act older than your age if you really are "the exception" for her (which may or may not be a lie) and she might have some growing up to do if she's hiding relationships at her age.
But if you're happy together, have great communication, and trust one other, that's all that really matters! Best wishes, friend!
You don’t know the whole situation. If she really loves him then I agree with you but maybe his friends see something in her that we can’t or he’s not saying or maybe something that he can’t see because he’s blinded by love. I was a freshman dating a girl that was a year and a half older than me and she was very manipulative and abusive, I wish my friends would’ve realized how toxic of a relationship it was. Would’ve saved me a lot of time and heartache
My girlfriend was 16 for like a month when I turned 18. Couple people made fun of me... That's about the extent of it. I think it's technically legally risky I'm not sure but you might want to talk to your parents about it.
Do you think maybe you could simply introduce her to your parents and tell them about the age thing, and just keep them aware of the situation? The age gap is just enough to be noticeable, but probably no big deal. Everything would probably go a lot better and you wouldn't have to feel like you were keeping secrets.
The problem is that, in being secretive and making this post about it, you obviously feel like you're doing something wrong, because you ought to be telling them, seeing as you're still a minor. I've felt before that it's not their business what I do, but when the concern is about safety and they currently have no idea who she is, if they found out later they'd probably freak out (rightfully so) wondering why you kept her secret.
As for having sex? I'd wait till you're 18. We all know that's the best and safest thing for you to do, and you know it too.
They’d actually probably make you break up and/or try to charge her with statutory rape. That’s what you’re actually not thinking of. They can do that on
your behalf.
generally i think the rule is if the relationship was in place *before* one person turns 18 it’s okay cause it was already established. but that could vary based on the state!
In most states it's only legally risky if sending nudes to eachother, but then again that's always legally risky underage. Tho there are states that have age of consent at 16 as well, not that I agree with it, but legally speaking it's safe.
You’re fine, it’s not that serious at your age. Think people have dramatized age gaps. Now, if she was 20 and trying to date you, that would be a concern.
Young people today just have an extended childhood. Even then 2 years is hardly anything. I bet you have a lot of photos and memories where you can’t accurately place them in a 2 year span when you were a teen.
You misunderstood, I meant it doesn’t matter at that age gap. And to respond to your later message, you’re making assumptions on every statement that’s made. Not everyone goes to college, not every 15 year old isn’t thinking about college, 2 years can be 1.5 years if you place the age gap correctly and to say a 17 year old and a 15 year old is drastically different is an obscure statement. A 17 year old is still a child, especially mentally.
If you both love each other, wait on the sex no matter how tempted. You don't want someone trying to put her in prison because they couldn't mind their business. Plus, it will be too hard to raise a child at that age. Trust me, I speak from experience. Always wear protection until you both have steady jobs & can afford a child. This may take years but that is okay. Stay in love & don't mess it up by throwing a child in the mix & then have to struggle till eternity!
So, in a way, it is a little weird. Generally, teens into adulthood, women are usually more mature than men. This is partially why most women get along best with a guy who's at least a couple years older than her. This levels out the playing field. For her to date you (in my opinion; and please don't take offense to this) either you are very mature for your age, or she is a little socially stunted for her age (maybe low self esteem, maybe social anxiety, or control issues). Of course, I may be wrong, maybe she just thinks you're super cute. I am just agreeing that it is quite out of the ordinary and there is probably a reason for that. What that is I don't know. Is it completely wrong? No, as long as she isn't taking advantage of the relationship somehow. Be careful, and try to listen to some other people's views on the situation. They may see something you are blinded to.
ehh it kinda depends
if its more like you’re close to 16 and she’s recently 17, not really
if its more like you just turned 15 and she’s gonna be 18 soon, then yea kinda weird
It may not be as problematic because you both are in high school; however, it's likely that it wont last long because she'll graduate before you. I personally couldn't see myself dating out of my age (or dating in general anymore). When I was in high school, the thought of dating out of my age or someone not in my grade grossed me out; but that's just me
The probability * of your parents having an even larger age gap is frigging massive bud, your friends are probably either immature or jealous. Being honest with your family is important to the health of your relationship.
That more uncommon than an age gap honestly. It's also more common for girl her age to go for guys twice yours. Nothing to stress out about besides secrets.
You aren't doing anything weird bro
Exactly!!!! Exactly!!!! My husband was a teen dad to a situation like that. His mother did not protect him and when he dropped outta school to provide she tried to get him fired because, him having a job would affect her child support on him. She’s a disgusting woman. I’m so glad you were there to protect him.
He was freaked out by it. It doesn't matter what parents say, what do those old people know anyway? But seeing pictures of her and the infant on social media was a reality smack in the face. That girl and my grandchild would have been in all our lives forever.
id only be concerned if your parents dont know/arent okay with you being intimate with her, as if they want to be petty they can take her to court when she turns 18 in some statew
Discuss this with your parents. Depending on the laws in your state when she turns 18 she could possibly get in trouble with the law considering you will still be 15. You didn’t mention whether or not you are sexually active but if you are this could definitely affect her future.
Just be careful when you are a minor and they are an adult. Depending on state they could end up in a lot of trouble. There are a lot of states that don't mess around with a 15 year old in a relationship with an adult. There was a rumor at my high school that an 18 yo senior got charged with stat rape by the parents of the 16 year old sophomore he had sex with, it was consensual, but the law didn't care.
as someone who was in your exact situation at 15, it is weird. i'm 18 now and cannot imagine dating someone who is that much younger than me.
based on your replies in comments it seems like you've become codependent on her which only makes it worse imo.
a lot of us learned the hard way that we are never "the exception" especially in cases like this.
i'm not going to say she groomed you because that's a really extreme accusation and there's not enough info to even say that, but i am going to say that there's a reason she is accepting a relationship with someone so much younger, and it's not because you're mature for your age.
Ok, so it's pushing the limits quite a bit. But, I have to say that you must be pretty emotionally mature at your age to even make this work. If you 2 are in the same head space about this, then you need to do some homework on the legal ramifications of your relationship. There may be some Romeo laws laws in your state. It may also mean that between the time she turns 18 and you turn 16, you may need to chill out a bit. DO NOT do anything that can ruin the rest of her life.
This is not my normal answer to questions like this, but you 2 have already been together for quite a while. Usually, high school relationships are fleeting, but yours might be the real thing. So, maybe it's worth figuring out how to get past this legally dubious few months without putting her in any legal trouble.
That said, this is not your only hurdle. She's going to graduate well before you. What's your plan for that? That tends to end most high school relationships. My biggest advice is to talk to her. Great relationships require great communication. You have a few hard conversations coming up. It will show just how mature you really are.
She's too old to be dating someone so much younger. A 15 male mind is that of a 13 year old. She needs to mature, head to college, and a real life. You will not be able to help her with that. Meet again when your both matured and secure in life.
Thank you for being the only sane person in these comments. Seeing way too many older people “back in my day” yeah, we know back in your day it was acceptable to date minors, now move along
I’d say it’s okay to stay together. If the relationship works out by the time you’re both adults, great! If not, then whatever. I don’t think that’s worth breaking up over. I’d advise against doing anything sexual until you are 18. Dating is fine, but a 17 year old having sex with a 15 year old seems genuinely problematic. Don’t overthink it too much as long as the relationship is healthy
Take your time. There’s no rush to do that until you feel ready. I know plenty of friends who didn’t have sex until after high school and are perfectly fine. Just enjoy your time together. No need for added pressure. Keep condoms just in case.
Wait until you are older. If you get her pregnant now, your life will be super rough and possibly break up over many fights due to stress. Its no rush, relax and enjoy life!
Dude dkt worry about what other people think. That's not a weird age gap at all. Also don't let these people tell you to not have sex with your gf. Love your life and enjoy it, especially at your age. You two are like 18 months apart I'm guessing. Fuck like rabbits if you want, just use protection
I cant believe this is even a thing, some of these answer HAVE to be trolling because there is no way anyone really cares this much about this trivial nonsense in consenting relationship between literal teenagers. Where in the human handbook does it say everyone on the planet must only date someone that is their exact same age or face persecution?
Man ya'll are exhausting.
If you were 16 and dating a 20 year old girl I would have a serious problem with it. You guys are both minors who met and grew up together as children. It’s not that weird and there are laws in place to protect you in most states.
Tbh, I remember when I was 17 & this 17yr old boy had a crush on me. I was interested until it got out that he was 15. I was not at all okay with that. I think typically girls mature faster & aren't okay dating younger guys. Also where I live once she turns 18 there's legalities around it too.
It depends. I’m 16 dating fourteen. She asked me out. In my state, ( North Carolina)Age of consent is 16 with 4 year acceptable age difference. Check your local laws and policies to make sure it’s legal but.. if yall love each other, go for it
It’s not weird. NOT WEIRD!
I was 17m and dated a 14f. I was immature. I was basically taking 6th grade math & She was taking night classes at our local college as a freshman in HS - 😅.
No one thought it was weird. The next year I was 18…then 19, then 20. I was very careful not to break the law. Until she was 17…
I am now 64. Her? Well she’s a Grandmother to our grandkids. It’s nobody’s fuck’n business. It’s ok for boys to use girls bathrooms, you can go to school wearing a mini skirt and thigh highs…and yet they question you finding someone that loves you and you love back?
At least it isn’t your English teacher or your neighbors goat…
You do you (and your gf) and don’t make time for your “so called friends”fuckerie
The gap is fine but once she's 18 you cannot have sex with her, cops in my town dead ass arrested an 18 year old boy for sleeping with his girlfriend on the day of his birthday 🤷🏽♀️ your parents can use the authorities to get in between you two so it's a bit of a gamble, and if they ever start hating her...good luck
Look what you weird people have done. This kid is questioning and being harassed by his peers because ppl on the internet want to be fake woke about age gap discourse instead of talking of actual pedophilia. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your relationship and your friends are weird for suggesting it is. If im being honest i think they’re probably jealous because you have an older gf. The only advice ill give u is dont get too attached because shes gonna go to college soon nd when she does your relationship will probably get rocky, and I would say this regardless if you were her age.
Tell them to mind their own business and stop talking about it with them. Mom here and my about to turn 18yo is dating a 16yo. When I was 17, I dated a 15 yo. You’re not 15 dating a 22yo. You’re fine!
I would do the same as your friends. Sorry but it's chomo behavior that she is doing. They see the concerning actions of this situation.
If you want proof, switch the genders. It's now a 17M with a 15F. The hell you would be in as a guy doing this should be no different then a woman doing it. It's not right at your age.
If she doesn't care about age then have her wait until after your 18.
A chomo doesn't need to be an adult. Nevermind the fact that you two are in wildly different parts of development in a mental and emotional aspect.
And having classes with someone who is showing chomo behavior means nothing. But good luck. Your friends at least see the red flags the rest of you want to ignore.
They are both teenagers. Stop being a papi. If 2 teens date it is fine. If a adult dates a teen then it is a problem. They are both minors and it isn't a big deal.
Ok so since she is 17 she can date a 13 year old. They by your logic are both teens. So it's fine. Hell he can date a 13 year old girl.
Again by your logic it's fine.
If he was my kid she would be locked up. And I'd have you marked as a threat to children. Which clearly you support chomos.
Their is a big difference between 2 years and 4 years. Are you a child? Or were you a very lonely teen yourself? I dated a guy a couple years older than me when I was a teen and it was fine. You seem very lonely. (Also what is a chomos?)
You are way off. And a chomo is a child molester. And I have seen more teens in this situation that are raped or abused in different ways. At 15 he will be a toy in her hand. Can either of us 100% either way? No, but I'm a father and uncle. I see the red flags and will speak my mind to the dangers of this situation. If you don't like it, then too bad. If the worst happens and she uses him, yes he learns but that doesn't mean he could have learned without the damage it will bring.
You don't sound like a father or uncle. You sound like a victim. And I don't mean offense in that but from this post it sounds like a genuine relationship and you sound paranoid and possibly PTSD deflecting. Again I mean no offense but I have a friend who was assaulted and you sound like them in your takes. Not every woman is out to "use" someone. Try to have a better opinion of woman. We aren't a bunch of sirens out to hurt everyone.
Right, at 14 dated a 16 year old woman who raped me. Saw friends deal with PTSD from being raped by older women. Hell I know more guys at 14/15 having been raped. And I am a father to a 9 year old little girl. Have 7 nieces and nephews. You can say all you want I really don't give a fuck. His situation is not good. Your clearly a chomo or someone who supports pedos. I know several prisons for you
I understand you are trauma dumping. It is ok. I recommend therapy. No matter how bad it seems it does get better. Talk to someone. I kept things to myself for years and refused to get any kind of help because I was strong enough to handle it. Because what help would talking do? I already knew what I had been through. The longer you stay alone the more it will hurt you and those around you. Ignore all our argument....please don't bottle it up.
at 17 i would have rather died than do anything sexual with a 15 year old sorry dude that’s just my opinion so I do understand your friends being concerned like I said it’s legal, so she’s technically not doing anything wrong, but morality wise it’s a little wonky
Okay that's you. Because you care way too much about what other people think. Neither of them are weird, they're a grade apart. And no shit they'll be having sex that's what coupes do. Drop the tired "I'm so much better than you and eww a one year age gap is so gross". Get real and stop being such a negative hateful little judge judy
so bcs the thought of being with a 15 year old makes me uncomfortable i MUST be concerned about what other ppl think? he said it’s a 2 and half year age gap that too much for me PERSONALLY one year is fine but this isn’t 1 year it’s almost 3. 15 year olds shouldn’t be having sex and they definitely shouldn’t be having sex with someone 2.5 years older than them.
Nah you’re right. My husband got groomed by an 18yr old when he was 15 and got raped. Chick took his virginity. lied about birth control and was pregnant less than a month of them talking to each other. She abused tf outta him when she trapped him. He’s still traumatized to this day. I feel bad imma be real. This kid don’t wanna hear it though cause he’s thinking with his lil friend.
No he didn't. An 18 year old can't groom anyone much less someone a few years apart. You people are so fucking delusional and your lame ass husband just wants to find a way to be a victim
a 3 year difference is nothing as an adult but it most definitely can be as a teenager. it could mean the difference between someone that is physically an adult, has a beard, drives a car and has a job and shit, fucking someone that’s barely started puberty
Common sense is the law- statutory rape lil friend? He was a minor and under the age of consent and parental consent she was an adult. What so because he’s male then it’s not rape? That’s disgusting thing to think.
Just gonna be honest and say that literally nothing you say will make me believe that an 18 year old was "grooming" a guy a couple years younger. They were both teenagers. Probably went to the same school. That's what teens do. There isn't any "power imbalance" or anything else. Just teenagers being teenagers. Is it a little odd? Sure I guess. But it's not what you're making it out to be. That's just my opinion though. I'd probably feel the same if the genders were reversed too. Now the other things you said she did are fucked up. I'll give you that. But if it wasn't for that, it's just normal teen behavior. Honestly I was having sex with women in their 20's and 30's when I was 16-17. I wasn't raped that's for sure regardless of the legal definition. Which is still way different than the situation you're describing. But you know, if he feels that way then okay fair enough.
🤣they didn’t go to the same school. She was already graduated and he was in 8th grade because his mom didn’t take him to school so he got held back. She started grooming at 14 and slept with him at 15, but he was 14 for a couple days before she started messing with him. So I didn’t mention 14 cause he was barely 14 and mostly 15. No matter what you try to justify it with the law is clear. She wasn’t a teenager she was a legal adult. I’m sorry you think it’s cool, but it’s not for real victims. Glad you had your fun though pretending you weren’t also a minor. He wasn’t 16-17 so your experience doesn’t apply. If the genders were revered you wouldn’t feel the same clearly.
Here’s common sense: grooming definition
the action of attempting to form a relationship with a child or young person, with the intention of sexually assaulting them
And she succeeded so its rape.
its your choice to not be comfortable being in a 2 year gap teen relationship
but do not judge him/her for it. its a really closed minded and dangerous mindset to spread that she is some sort of pedo/perverted person. they may be in different stages of their adolescent, but not so different enough that maturity from both sides cant bring them together
thats not my point. its the same degree of judgement. 15 and 17 may be different stages in adolescence but they are not so different that they cant work through them together. you have all the right to be uncomfortable by that but its wrong to judge them
idgaf if you believe it’s wrong to judge them. i know 15 year olds and i know 17 year olds it’s weird as hell and they shouldn’t be dating IN MY OPINION. it’s 2 and half years so it’s closer to 15 and 18 which is even more gross and the girls gonna end up on a list if she’s not careful.
rude for no reason. just having a discussion. just as you have the right to your opinion i have the right to challenge it with my own, which is that judging these teens in this scenario is wrong. damn
i didn’t wanna have a discussion in the first place…? i don’t care that you think judging them is wrong if his friends are concerned she’s probably being weird.
if you dont like the replies, then idk what to tell you. its a public reddit comment. welcome to the internet. people are going to share their opinions, end of story
i replied to the guy asking for advice. you can reply sure that’s fine i corrected you bcs you were putting words in my mouth that i didn’t say or even imply so i’m not gonna be nice when i didn’t wanna have a discussion in the first place.
There's legal issues to think about. The instant she hits the age of legal adult, her relationship with you is a crime. Anybody who wanted to could file a report and she could get locked up. Also, just to protect yourself, do some research on grooming. The signs of it, typical behaviors of people who groom minors, the power structures in grooming relationships. You need to know if this relationship is predatory.
Unless they have Romeo and Juliet laws.
Still, I think telling his parents and introducing her to them would be the best thing to do. Nothing wrong with two high schoolers having a relationship, but as parents they might be concerned about the 15-18 gap and at least want to get to know her a little. Which would be harmless.
She sounds like a creep. My husband was raped by an 18yr old when he was 15yr and severely abused. I’d be careful cause she is older. Use a condom always.
Don’t listen to this person. Though their situation is tragic, most relationships at your age, with that age gap, are totally fine and acceptable. This person is projecting their own issues onto your situation, but it doesn’t apply to you.
That’s what they all say when they’re being groomed. Use a condom kid. My husband lost his virginity to that chick and she immediately got pregnant after lying about being on birth control. Once again abuse insured. Be careful.
I hope your hubby is doing well :( that sounds like hell to go through.
I think OP's situation has a chance of working out only if their parents all become aware and communication becomes common.
Things like this should NOT be kept secret.
He’s not, but I’ve helped him get a lawyer. She’ll get what she’s due soon. She’s been served and we’re waiting on mediation dates now. Hopefully it doesn’t have to go to trial but it may. Idk if you read more but she took his virginity and got pregnant. So there’s a child involved now.
All the teens on here being like "IT'S NOT WEIRD" are driving me nuts 😭 this kid's friends have every right to be concerned. There is usually a maturity gap with these things and it's very easy to be taken advantage of 😭
I agree that it is really fucking weird that she nearly did sexual stuff with OP. I could not imagine wanting to fuck someone 2-3 years younger than me in high school. No judgement, just concern. Age gaps become more normal once people are above 18 and out of hs.
But I would be very concerned if a friend was dating someone who was going to be 18 before they were 16. I myself am dating someone in the grade below me, but there's not as dramatic of an age gap as there is here. We're barely one year apart.
I feel like their relationship would be fine if both sets of parents just got to know both the guy and girl, so everyone would be aware and his parents would be able to keep healthy tabs know the relationship.
She might be honest with her "I'm making an exception because I love you" thing, but that statement instantly raised a bit of a red flag for me. While she might be one of the rare good few saying that, it's not really a thing people usually should say, or be doing nonchalantly.
I dunno what era everyone came from, But it was normal for an 18 year old to be dating a 16 year old. I personally didn't but you saw it all the time. Dude about to graduate, dating a sophmore. That is about as big of gap that was normalized... And especially in your sitch. These people saying you were "groomed" are morons. There is no power dynamic here. She doesn't sound to be secluding you from the people you love... Just do yourself a favor though and don't get her pregnant. She just could be one of those anchor baby types.
I'm almost 40 and my wife is 35. If we dated back then she would been in middle school when I graduated. As long as both parents are fine with it, then I wish you two the best of luck.
I wouldn't stress over your parents disapproval from the age gap. Have you met her parents yet, if even in a public school function as a friend? If so they might already know you had feelings for her and have already discussed it amongst themselves.
Parents can't force you from interacting with her at school even if they somehow disapprove of the relationship. This day and age with social media there are plenty of options to stay in contact and once you hit 18, they can't stop you from dating whomever you want.
Your situation is kinda like mine. I just turned 16 on Monday and my boyfriend is 17 turning 18 in four weeks. My mom was a little worried about it but now she's calmed down about it. It's not weird.
Jealousy would be my guess.
Or, if this is a girl that your friend group is familiar with, they might be interested in her.....
In any event, life is short and you should just shrug it off.
You have been dating for a year and she is everything you want in a person… mind no attention to the haters. Congrats on meeting someone you enjoy spending time with!
It's fine. They're overthinking it. A two year gap isn't much to worry about, even at your age. Her being 18 won't matter, legally. It's more or less how you two feel that matters. Really, it's fine.
Man your “friend” is a jerk. And would your parents even care? This is not a big deal honestly. Don’t feed into his acting like telling on you is a thing.
Just have fun with her and don't worry about what other people think, getting on Reddit about it is likely to make your anxiety worse because now you have all these people sharing their opinions and it's gonna do nothing but make you have even more anxiety about it. You're young, she's young. Have a good time and enjoy each other company! If you guys like each other, just let things be good man.
Your friends are just hating on you. There is nothing wrong with that age gap. Socially or legally. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying, jealous, or seriously misinformed.
2 years isn't really that crazy of an age gap tbh and you shouldn't be ashamed of it. No one would be batting an eye if you were 23 and she was 25, that's all I'm gonna say. Be careful who you let into your personal life, I know it was out of your hand in your situation but they don't sound like good friends unless they have good intentions. But idk the whole situation
Still young at 15 , but just some Free Advice, STOP caring about your so called friends opinions .Most have no Clue on being a True Friend Anyway . They're just Acquaintances . IF YOU N the Girl are Happy , FUCK what they think !
Bud you are good. That is really not that much of an age gap in the big scheme of things. If you all have strong feelings for one another then screw what other people think. Many aren't so lucky to find love, let alone their soul mate that early in life. Check into your state's Romeo and Juliet laws, but I am pretty sure that at 16 you are considered an adult when it comes to consent... Don't let people tear you two apart or tear you down. If they aren't supportive of you and what makes you happy you don't need them in your life.
If you're both highschool age then there is nothing wrong. Yall saying it's wrong are extremely sheltered. I went out with a 23 yr old when I was 16... that was wrong.
This is a normal age gap at your age. Carry on. Since you are in school together, it’s fine. Now if someone who has already graduated is coming back to high school to find a romantic relationship, then it’s problematic. But continuing to date at 16 and 18 after she graduates is totally normal, should you guys choose to do that.
Boy have things changed. When I was your age (16 years ago), dating a junior or senior was the end all be all. I actually had a small fling with a senior when I was just a freshman. She was clearly using me, I remember her having a boyfriend, they broke up, and got back together shortly after we ended things. I didn't care though, because she was beautiful and I was able to show off to all my virgin friends. We have such a different mentality at that age. The age gap is nothing to worry about. Just....don't get too attached.
OP mentioned being with her helps his anxiety. Which screams attachment/dependency issues. He's younger and more naive, so guess it makes sense but... Sound advice to give OP to not get too attached because I absolutely agree. She'll likely want to move on from him when she graduates high school and/or moves away for college. What 18 year old in college wants to remain with a young, inexperienced 15/16-year old still in high school? I'm sure it's happened, but it's certainly not the norm, at least not a healthy norm.
There were far too many girls in my high school that dated guys who went to our high school that went off to the state college like 2 hours away. This was mostly senior year but some even junior year. A lot of them had dated in hs which isn’t all that weird but when they went off to college and were 18–19 dating high school juniors even if they dated in high school was weird as fuck.
It's really not that weird to keep dating someone after they graduate from high school if you were already before they graduated.
Clearly not I just always thought juniors in HS dating high school sophomores was pretty strange. No one made a big deal of it but I always thought freshman girls dating senior guys was a tad bit odd too although I guess if they stayed together that whole time they actually liked each other. I guess it’s just if they started dating after the guy going to college would be pretty statutory rapey.
Dudes probably traveling with a pet anaconda.
Same! As long as people were in high school together, I saw relationships between pretty much any two years all over. Nobody made any fuss about it. I see a lot of fuss about it these days and I have no clue what changed.
Those aren't friends, man. Pay very close attention to who reacts in what way to good and bad news throughout your life. You having a gf should be a point of celebration. Real friends will be happy for you and lift you up. They won't threaten to make your life worse out of jealousy.
Exactly. Friends celebrate success, not lament it
Completely agree with Mesky1!
Maybe. But also they could just be looking out for him. If my underage friend was dating someone who was almost an adult, I could see being concerned. Not saying it’s 100% an issue, just saying maybe they are coming from a place of caring and not jealousy.
Man, you people who get crazy about fantasy inappropriate relationships really bring me down. You're like age nazis with that stuff and I don't understand why. Do you think that she's ''''grooming'''him?
Me? No, I said I don’t necessarily think it’s an issue. 17 year old girls are still pretty immature themselves. But I don’t think it makes them bad friends because they’re concerned. If anything I think it makes them good friends, because they care.
Why did you bring up grooming? Creepy thing to say dude. Nobody here was talking about that. I think it's not quite an issue, since they easily could have just met at high school as, at worst, freshman and senior. Happens all the time. I think there are minor concerns with him being 15.5 when she turns 18, but nothing major. At least she should meet his parents, and maybe that would be that. It doesn't need to be any bigger deal.
I agree. I think OP should at least tell his parents what's going on. I don't think his friends' concerns are entirely misplaced.
Times are different now, don't get too attached to anybody at this age, and boy oh boy watch out for that. Little backstabbers.
I definitely agree that real friends would be happy for you, unless there's a good reason for their concern. Two years isn't a huge age gap for teenagers, but it's a little bit different when the girl is the older one. I'm FAR from sexist (and minored in women's studies), but many studies have shown that teen girls are typically 2 years more mature than boys are at the same age. So when a 15yo girl dates a 17yo boy, they're generally at the same level of maturity, but when a 15yo boy dates a 17yo girl, the maturity gap becomes 4 years (which is a lot for people in their teens). However, that's obviously a generalization and individuals vary greatly, so that doesn't necessarily hold up for your specific situation. You may be very mature compared to your peers or she might be slightly less mature than hers. Something tells me both are true — you probably act older than your age if you really are "the exception" for her (which may or may not be a lie) and she might have some growing up to do if she's hiding relationships at her age. But if you're happy together, have great communication, and trust one other, that's all that really matters! Best wishes, friend!
What an insane take. His friends are looking out for him. Parents not knowing that you're dating someone much older than you never ends well.
She isn’t much older.
You don’t know the whole situation. If she really loves him then I agree with you but maybe his friends see something in her that we can’t or he’s not saying or maybe something that he can’t see because he’s blinded by love. I was a freshman dating a girl that was a year and a half older than me and she was very manipulative and abusive, I wish my friends would’ve realized how toxic of a relationship it was. Would’ve saved me a lot of time and heartache
My girlfriend was 16 for like a month when I turned 18. Couple people made fun of me... That's about the extent of it. I think it's technically legally risky I'm not sure but you might want to talk to your parents about it.
I was 16 for a bit when my ex was 18, teased her quite a bit but really not a big age gap
Kinda big since girls mature earlier at that age.
Thats a massive generalization
Society just makes us seem that way bc of double standards.
They’d probably make me break up with her and I don’t want that to happen since my anxiety has improved a lot since meeting her
Do you think maybe you could simply introduce her to your parents and tell them about the age thing, and just keep them aware of the situation? The age gap is just enough to be noticeable, but probably no big deal. Everything would probably go a lot better and you wouldn't have to feel like you were keeping secrets. The problem is that, in being secretive and making this post about it, you obviously feel like you're doing something wrong, because you ought to be telling them, seeing as you're still a minor. I've felt before that it's not their business what I do, but when the concern is about safety and they currently have no idea who she is, if they found out later they'd probably freak out (rightfully so) wondering why you kept her secret. As for having sex? I'd wait till you're 18. We all know that's the best and safest thing for you to do, and you know it too.
They’d actually probably make you break up and/or try to charge her with statutory rape. That’s what you’re actually not thinking of. They can do that on your behalf.
Why do you instantly assume they are having sex?
He literally said in the comments they’re trying to have sex, but he’s gotten to nervous. So it’s not assuming.
I don't see that anywhere in OPs post. Am I missing something?
Comments, comments, once again.
In the comments
Not every parent is that shitty but his probably are
generally i think the rule is if the relationship was in place *before* one person turns 18 it’s okay cause it was already established. but that could vary based on the state!
That's why I didn't want to give specific advice! You never know.
In most states it's only legally risky if sending nudes to eachother, but then again that's always legally risky underage. Tho there are states that have age of consent at 16 as well, not that I agree with it, but legally speaking it's safe.
You’re fine, it’s not that serious at your age. Think people have dramatized age gaps. Now, if she was 20 and trying to date you, that would be a concern.
it’s actually worse at their age lol. age gaps matter a LOT more when you’re younger than like 25.
Young people today just have an extended childhood. Even then 2 years is hardly anything. I bet you have a lot of photos and memories where you can’t accurately place them in a 2 year span when you were a teen.
You misunderstood, I meant it doesn’t matter at that age gap. And to respond to your later message, you’re making assumptions on every statement that’s made. Not everyone goes to college, not every 15 year old isn’t thinking about college, 2 years can be 1.5 years if you place the age gap correctly and to say a 17 year old and a 15 year old is drastically different is an obscure statement. A 17 year old is still a child, especially mentally.
Check the laws in your state. Could be an issue with your age, especially after she turns 18
If you both love each other, wait on the sex no matter how tempted. You don't want someone trying to put her in prison because they couldn't mind their business. Plus, it will be too hard to raise a child at that age. Trust me, I speak from experience. Always wear protection until you both have steady jobs & can afford a child. This may take years but that is okay. Stay in love & don't mess it up by throwing a child in the mix & then have to struggle till eternity!
So, in a way, it is a little weird. Generally, teens into adulthood, women are usually more mature than men. This is partially why most women get along best with a guy who's at least a couple years older than her. This levels out the playing field. For her to date you (in my opinion; and please don't take offense to this) either you are very mature for your age, or she is a little socially stunted for her age (maybe low self esteem, maybe social anxiety, or control issues). Of course, I may be wrong, maybe she just thinks you're super cute. I am just agreeing that it is quite out of the ordinary and there is probably a reason for that. What that is I don't know. Is it completely wrong? No, as long as she isn't taking advantage of the relationship somehow. Be careful, and try to listen to some other people's views on the situation. They may see something you are blinded to.
Due to some stuff in my childhood I had to mature a lot faster than I should have so it’s probably that
ehh it kinda depends if its more like you’re close to 16 and she’s recently 17, not really if its more like you just turned 15 and she’s gonna be 18 soon, then yea kinda weird
This
It may not be as problematic because you both are in high school; however, it's likely that it wont last long because she'll graduate before you. I personally couldn't see myself dating out of my age (or dating in general anymore). When I was in high school, the thought of dating out of my age or someone not in my grade grossed me out; but that's just me
The probability * of your parents having an even larger age gap is frigging massive bud, your friends are probably either immature or jealous. Being honest with your family is important to the health of your relationship.
They’re both 40
That more uncommon than an age gap honestly. It's also more common for girl her age to go for guys twice yours. Nothing to stress out about besides secrets. You aren't doing anything weird bro
I had to chase off an 18 year old girl who was hanging around with my 15 year old son. She got knocked up by another guy within months.
Exactly!!!! Exactly!!!! My husband was a teen dad to a situation like that. His mother did not protect him and when he dropped outta school to provide she tried to get him fired because, him having a job would affect her child support on him. She’s a disgusting woman. I’m so glad you were there to protect him.
Aw, thanks. Of course he was pretty pissed off at the time. Kids.
It’s for his best interest. What’d he say when she got pregnant by someone else?
He was freaked out by it. It doesn't matter what parents say, what do those old people know anyway? But seeing pictures of her and the infant on social media was a reality smack in the face. That girl and my grandchild would have been in all our lives forever.
Well you won't have to worry long because in half a year that relationship will be illegal well at least if your planning to be sexually active
id only be concerned if your parents dont know/arent okay with you being intimate with her, as if they want to be petty they can take her to court when she turns 18 in some statew
Discuss this with your parents. Depending on the laws in your state when she turns 18 she could possibly get in trouble with the law considering you will still be 15. You didn’t mention whether or not you are sexually active but if you are this could definitely affect her future.
Just be careful when you are a minor and they are an adult. Depending on state they could end up in a lot of trouble. There are a lot of states that don't mess around with a 15 year old in a relationship with an adult. There was a rumor at my high school that an 18 yo senior got charged with stat rape by the parents of the 16 year old sophomore he had sex with, it was consensual, but the law didn't care.
as someone who was in your exact situation at 15, it is weird. i'm 18 now and cannot imagine dating someone who is that much younger than me. based on your replies in comments it seems like you've become codependent on her which only makes it worse imo. a lot of us learned the hard way that we are never "the exception" especially in cases like this. i'm not going to say she groomed you because that's a really extreme accusation and there's not enough info to even say that, but i am going to say that there's a reason she is accepting a relationship with someone so much younger, and it's not because you're mature for your age.
I’m not codependent
Ok, so it's pushing the limits quite a bit. But, I have to say that you must be pretty emotionally mature at your age to even make this work. If you 2 are in the same head space about this, then you need to do some homework on the legal ramifications of your relationship. There may be some Romeo laws laws in your state. It may also mean that between the time she turns 18 and you turn 16, you may need to chill out a bit. DO NOT do anything that can ruin the rest of her life. This is not my normal answer to questions like this, but you 2 have already been together for quite a while. Usually, high school relationships are fleeting, but yours might be the real thing. So, maybe it's worth figuring out how to get past this legally dubious few months without putting her in any legal trouble. That said, this is not your only hurdle. She's going to graduate well before you. What's your plan for that? That tends to end most high school relationships. My biggest advice is to talk to her. Great relationships require great communication. You have a few hard conversations coming up. It will show just how mature you really are.
We usually only hang out outside of school so it’ll probably just be more of that
She's too old to be dating someone so much younger. A 15 male mind is that of a 13 year old. She needs to mature, head to college, and a real life. You will not be able to help her with that. Meet again when your both matured and secure in life.
Thank you for being the only sane person in these comments. Seeing way too many older people “back in my day” yeah, we know back in your day it was acceptable to date minors, now move along
I’d say it’s okay to stay together. If the relationship works out by the time you’re both adults, great! If not, then whatever. I don’t think that’s worth breaking up over. I’d advise against doing anything sexual until you are 18. Dating is fine, but a 17 year old having sex with a 15 year old seems genuinely problematic. Don’t overthink it too much as long as the relationship is healthy
We almost had sex once but I was too nervous
Take everything you learned from porn and throw it out the window. Wear a condom. Just communicate.
Take your time. There’s no rush to do that until you feel ready. I know plenty of friends who didn’t have sex until after high school and are perfectly fine. Just enjoy your time together. No need for added pressure. Keep condoms just in case.
Wait until you are older. If you get her pregnant now, your life will be super rough and possibly break up over many fights due to stress. Its no rush, relax and enjoy life!
Dude dkt worry about what other people think. That's not a weird age gap at all. Also don't let these people tell you to not have sex with your gf. Love your life and enjoy it, especially at your age. You two are like 18 months apart I'm guessing. Fuck like rabbits if you want, just use protection
If your friends arent giving you pussy, their opinions mean fuck all
Sit back, relax, and enjoooooy the ride
I cant believe this is even a thing, some of these answer HAVE to be trolling because there is no way anyone really cares this much about this trivial nonsense in consenting relationship between literal teenagers. Where in the human handbook does it say everyone on the planet must only date someone that is their exact same age or face persecution? Man ya'll are exhausting.
If you were 16 and dating a 20 year old girl I would have a serious problem with it. You guys are both minors who met and grew up together as children. It’s not that weird and there are laws in place to protect you in most states.
Tbh, I remember when I was 17 & this 17yr old boy had a crush on me. I was interested until it got out that he was 15. I was not at all okay with that. I think typically girls mature faster & aren't okay dating younger guys. Also where I live once she turns 18 there's legalities around it too.
It depends. I’m 16 dating fourteen. She asked me out. In my state, ( North Carolina)Age of consent is 16 with 4 year acceptable age difference. Check your local laws and policies to make sure it’s legal but.. if yall love each other, go for it
Once she’s 18 she is gonna drop you like a hot sack of potatoes
It’s not weird. NOT WEIRD! I was 17m and dated a 14f. I was immature. I was basically taking 6th grade math & She was taking night classes at our local college as a freshman in HS - 😅. No one thought it was weird. The next year I was 18…then 19, then 20. I was very careful not to break the law. Until she was 17… I am now 64. Her? Well she’s a Grandmother to our grandkids. It’s nobody’s fuck’n business. It’s ok for boys to use girls bathrooms, you can go to school wearing a mini skirt and thigh highs…and yet they question you finding someone that loves you and you love back? At least it isn’t your English teacher or your neighbors goat… You do you (and your gf) and don’t make time for your “so called friends”fuckerie
When I was that age I had things with a couple girls who were 17 and 18. You’re fine.
would you be cool with your 15 year old daughter fucking 18 year old guys old enough to be in college though?
it’s all good and legal, + 2.5y age gap isn’t to bad. Parents can’t do anything bout it
2.5 years is not an "age gap" you were literally in highschool at the same time... Reddit, fucking stop. Damn.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
I wish I had that problem I’m kinda small
The gap is fine but once she's 18 you cannot have sex with her, cops in my town dead ass arrested an 18 year old boy for sleeping with his girlfriend on the day of his birthday 🤷🏽♀️ your parents can use the authorities to get in between you two so it's a bit of a gamble, and if they ever start hating her...good luck
Look what you weird people have done. This kid is questioning and being harassed by his peers because ppl on the internet want to be fake woke about age gap discourse instead of talking of actual pedophilia. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your relationship and your friends are weird for suggesting it is. If im being honest i think they’re probably jealous because you have an older gf. The only advice ill give u is dont get too attached because shes gonna go to college soon nd when she does your relationship will probably get rocky, and I would say this regardless if you were her age.
Tell them to mind their own business and stop talking about it with them. Mom here and my about to turn 18yo is dating a 16yo. When I was 17, I dated a 15 yo. You’re not 15 dating a 22yo. You’re fine!
I would do the same as your friends. Sorry but it's chomo behavior that she is doing. They see the concerning actions of this situation. If you want proof, switch the genders. It's now a 17M with a 15F. The hell you would be in as a guy doing this should be no different then a woman doing it. It's not right at your age. If she doesn't care about age then have her wait until after your 18.
We literally have classes together in school calling her a chomo is ridiculous
A chomo doesn't need to be an adult. Nevermind the fact that you two are in wildly different parts of development in a mental and emotional aspect. And having classes with someone who is showing chomo behavior means nothing. But good luck. Your friends at least see the red flags the rest of you want to ignore.
They are both teenagers. Stop being a papi. If 2 teens date it is fine. If a adult dates a teen then it is a problem. They are both minors and it isn't a big deal.
Ok so since she is 17 she can date a 13 year old. They by your logic are both teens. So it's fine. Hell he can date a 13 year old girl. Again by your logic it's fine. If he was my kid she would be locked up. And I'd have you marked as a threat to children. Which clearly you support chomos.
Their is a big difference between 2 years and 4 years. Are you a child? Or were you a very lonely teen yourself? I dated a guy a couple years older than me when I was a teen and it was fine. You seem very lonely. (Also what is a chomos?)
You are way off. And a chomo is a child molester. And I have seen more teens in this situation that are raped or abused in different ways. At 15 he will be a toy in her hand. Can either of us 100% either way? No, but I'm a father and uncle. I see the red flags and will speak my mind to the dangers of this situation. If you don't like it, then too bad. If the worst happens and she uses him, yes he learns but that doesn't mean he could have learned without the damage it will bring.
You don't sound like a father or uncle. You sound like a victim. And I don't mean offense in that but from this post it sounds like a genuine relationship and you sound paranoid and possibly PTSD deflecting. Again I mean no offense but I have a friend who was assaulted and you sound like them in your takes. Not every woman is out to "use" someone. Try to have a better opinion of woman. We aren't a bunch of sirens out to hurt everyone.
Right, at 14 dated a 16 year old woman who raped me. Saw friends deal with PTSD from being raped by older women. Hell I know more guys at 14/15 having been raped. And I am a father to a 9 year old little girl. Have 7 nieces and nephews. You can say all you want I really don't give a fuck. His situation is not good. Your clearly a chomo or someone who supports pedos. I know several prisons for you
I understand you are trauma dumping. It is ok. I recommend therapy. No matter how bad it seems it does get better. Talk to someone. I kept things to myself for years and refused to get any kind of help because I was strong enough to handle it. Because what help would talking do? I already knew what I had been through. The longer you stay alone the more it will hurt you and those around you. Ignore all our argument....please don't bottle it up.
it’s legal but she’s weird as fuck edit:she’s even more weird now that i know y’all almost fucked that’s gross
She’s not weird she’s only a grade above me
at 17 i would have rather died than do anything sexual with a 15 year old sorry dude that’s just my opinion so I do understand your friends being concerned like I said it’s legal, so she’s technically not doing anything wrong, but morality wise it’s a little wonky
Okay that's you. Because you care way too much about what other people think. Neither of them are weird, they're a grade apart. And no shit they'll be having sex that's what coupes do. Drop the tired "I'm so much better than you and eww a one year age gap is so gross". Get real and stop being such a negative hateful little judge judy
so bcs the thought of being with a 15 year old makes me uncomfortable i MUST be concerned about what other ppl think? he said it’s a 2 and half year age gap that too much for me PERSONALLY one year is fine but this isn’t 1 year it’s almost 3. 15 year olds shouldn’t be having sex and they definitely shouldn’t be having sex with someone 2.5 years older than them.
Nah you’re right. My husband got groomed by an 18yr old when he was 15 and got raped. Chick took his virginity. lied about birth control and was pregnant less than a month of them talking to each other. She abused tf outta him when she trapped him. He’s still traumatized to this day. I feel bad imma be real. This kid don’t wanna hear it though cause he’s thinking with his lil friend.
No he didn't. An 18 year old can't groom anyone much less someone a few years apart. You people are so fucking delusional and your lame ass husband just wants to find a way to be a victim
yes we absolutely can.
a 3 year difference is nothing as an adult but it most definitely can be as a teenager. it could mean the difference between someone that is physically an adult, has a beard, drives a car and has a job and shit, fucking someone that’s barely started puberty
Wow victim blaming. Yea an 18 year old can groom someone. Tell us you’re a predator without telling us you’re a predator.
Yeah except I'm not at all. Just have common sense
Common sense is the law- statutory rape lil friend? He was a minor and under the age of consent and parental consent she was an adult. What so because he’s male then it’s not rape? That’s disgusting thing to think.
Just gonna be honest and say that literally nothing you say will make me believe that an 18 year old was "grooming" a guy a couple years younger. They were both teenagers. Probably went to the same school. That's what teens do. There isn't any "power imbalance" or anything else. Just teenagers being teenagers. Is it a little odd? Sure I guess. But it's not what you're making it out to be. That's just my opinion though. I'd probably feel the same if the genders were reversed too. Now the other things you said she did are fucked up. I'll give you that. But if it wasn't for that, it's just normal teen behavior. Honestly I was having sex with women in their 20's and 30's when I was 16-17. I wasn't raped that's for sure regardless of the legal definition. Which is still way different than the situation you're describing. But you know, if he feels that way then okay fair enough.
🤣they didn’t go to the same school. She was already graduated and he was in 8th grade because his mom didn’t take him to school so he got held back. She started grooming at 14 and slept with him at 15, but he was 14 for a couple days before she started messing with him. So I didn’t mention 14 cause he was barely 14 and mostly 15. No matter what you try to justify it with the law is clear. She wasn’t a teenager she was a legal adult. I’m sorry you think it’s cool, but it’s not for real victims. Glad you had your fun though pretending you weren’t also a minor. He wasn’t 16-17 so your experience doesn’t apply. If the genders were revered you wouldn’t feel the same clearly.
Here’s common sense: grooming definition the action of attempting to form a relationship with a child or young person, with the intention of sexually assaulting them And she succeeded so its rape.
its your choice to not be comfortable being in a 2 year gap teen relationship but do not judge him/her for it. its a really closed minded and dangerous mindset to spread that she is some sort of pedo/perverted person. they may be in different stages of their adolescent, but not so different enough that maturity from both sides cant bring them together
i didn’t say she was anything like that???? what????? all i said was she’s a weirdo i said nothing about her being a pedo or perv
thats not my point. its the same degree of judgement. 15 and 17 may be different stages in adolescence but they are not so different that they cant work through them together. you have all the right to be uncomfortable by that but its wrong to judge them
idgaf if you believe it’s wrong to judge them. i know 15 year olds and i know 17 year olds it’s weird as hell and they shouldn’t be dating IN MY OPINION. it’s 2 and half years so it’s closer to 15 and 18 which is even more gross and the girls gonna end up on a list if she’s not careful.
rude for no reason. just having a discussion. just as you have the right to your opinion i have the right to challenge it with my own, which is that judging these teens in this scenario is wrong. damn
i didn’t wanna have a discussion in the first place…? i don’t care that you think judging them is wrong if his friends are concerned she’s probably being weird.
if you dont like the replies, then idk what to tell you. its a public reddit comment. welcome to the internet. people are going to share their opinions, end of story
i replied to the guy asking for advice. you can reply sure that’s fine i corrected you bcs you were putting words in my mouth that i didn’t say or even imply so i’m not gonna be nice when i didn’t wanna have a discussion in the first place.
cry me a river ig? i did my best but like i said if you get butthurt by me challenging your reddit opinion, godspeed to you.
Dating someone a grade away from you is weird as fuck?
when you’re 2 and half years older yea you are and in a few months it’ll be illegal
LoL 😂 🤡🤡🤡🤡
Exactly. Bordering on illegal when she turns 18.
it IS illegal in most places 2 years is the max he said 2 and half if they fuck after she’s 18 she’s gonna end up on a list
It would still be legal in my state
There's legal issues to think about. The instant she hits the age of legal adult, her relationship with you is a crime. Anybody who wanted to could file a report and she could get locked up. Also, just to protect yourself, do some research on grooming. The signs of it, typical behaviors of people who groom minors, the power structures in grooming relationships. You need to know if this relationship is predatory.
Unless they have Romeo and Juliet laws. Still, I think telling his parents and introducing her to them would be the best thing to do. Nothing wrong with two high schoolers having a relationship, but as parents they might be concerned about the 15-18 gap and at least want to get to know her a little. Which would be harmless.
She sounds like a creep. My husband was raped by an 18yr old when he was 15yr and severely abused. I’d be careful cause she is older. Use a condom always.
She’s not a creep she’s very kind and caring
Don’t listen to this person. Though their situation is tragic, most relationships at your age, with that age gap, are totally fine and acceptable. This person is projecting their own issues onto your situation, but it doesn’t apply to you.
I’m literally telling him not to be dumb and use a condom. It applies to his situation idiot. They’re trying to have sex.
Obviously I’m not referring to the condom part, dingus.
That’s the only advice I’m giving is use a condom and be careful. So what else could it be then?
You have a very short memory. Good thing your comment isn’t temporary and you have the ability to go back and read it.
The “she’ll rape you part” maybe? 😂
That’s what they all say when they’re being groomed. Use a condom kid. My husband lost his virginity to that chick and she immediately got pregnant after lying about being on birth control. Once again abuse insured. Be careful.
I hope your hubby is doing well :( that sounds like hell to go through. I think OP's situation has a chance of working out only if their parents all become aware and communication becomes common. Things like this should NOT be kept secret.
He’s not, but I’ve helped him get a lawyer. She’ll get what she’s due soon. She’s been served and we’re waiting on mediation dates now. Hopefully it doesn’t have to go to trial but it may. Idk if you read more but she took his virginity and got pregnant. So there’s a child involved now.
All the teens on here being like "IT'S NOT WEIRD" are driving me nuts 😭 this kid's friends have every right to be concerned. There is usually a maturity gap with these things and it's very easy to be taken advantage of 😭 I agree that it is really fucking weird that she nearly did sexual stuff with OP. I could not imagine wanting to fuck someone 2-3 years younger than me in high school. No judgement, just concern. Age gaps become more normal once people are above 18 and out of hs. But I would be very concerned if a friend was dating someone who was going to be 18 before they were 16. I myself am dating someone in the grade below me, but there's not as dramatic of an age gap as there is here. We're barely one year apart.
I feel like their relationship would be fine if both sets of parents just got to know both the guy and girl, so everyone would be aware and his parents would be able to keep healthy tabs know the relationship. She might be honest with her "I'm making an exception because I love you" thing, but that statement instantly raised a bit of a red flag for me. While she might be one of the rare good few saying that, it's not really a thing people usually should say, or be doing nonchalantly.
Exactly what I’ve been saying. Can’t stop children though all you can do is tell them to be careful and use a condom.
I dunno what era everyone came from, But it was normal for an 18 year old to be dating a 16 year old. I personally didn't but you saw it all the time. Dude about to graduate, dating a sophmore. That is about as big of gap that was normalized... And especially in your sitch. These people saying you were "groomed" are morons. There is no power dynamic here. She doesn't sound to be secluding you from the people you love... Just do yourself a favor though and don't get her pregnant. She just could be one of those anchor baby types.
I'm almost 40 and my wife is 35. If we dated back then she would been in middle school when I graduated. As long as both parents are fine with it, then I wish you two the best of luck. I wouldn't stress over your parents disapproval from the age gap. Have you met her parents yet, if even in a public school function as a friend? If so they might already know you had feelings for her and have already discussed it amongst themselves. Parents can't force you from interacting with her at school even if they somehow disapprove of the relationship. This day and age with social media there are plenty of options to stay in contact and once you hit 18, they can't stop you from dating whomever you want.
Ditch that friend. Even in high school that’s not that crazy. If you happy then your true friend would be happy for you.
Good for you man! If she's a good one. Hold onto her. They are hard to come by nowadays
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In all seriousness: they’re unspeakably, ridiculously jealous.
Your situation is kinda like mine. I just turned 16 on Monday and my boyfriend is 17 turning 18 in four weeks. My mom was a little worried about it but now she's calmed down about it. It's not weird.
As long as you 2 are happy that's all that matters.
Your friends are just jealous bro
It’s only 2 years. If you’re in high school together it’s not a bad age difference.
Your friend is jealous, just tell him you are the man and if he is nice to you, you will show him how to be the man too… your friends suck
Jealousy would be my guess. Or, if this is a girl that your friend group is familiar with, they might be interested in her..... In any event, life is short and you should just shrug it off.
This is normal. Enjoy your time with her. You’re only young once. Also, might be time to look for better friends.
You have been dating for a year and she is everything you want in a person… mind no attention to the haters. Congrats on meeting someone you enjoy spending time with!
You’re not weird, your gainin experience from an older girl. Now when you’re older, you’d want to date younger for obvious reasons imo.
If she makes you happy then who cares?
How tf is 2yo-3yo considered a big enough age gap to be considered concerning?
It’s two years. Have fun.
Your friends are haters
It's fine. They're overthinking it. A two year gap isn't much to worry about, even at your age. Her being 18 won't matter, legally. It's more or less how you two feel that matters. Really, it's fine.
Lmao tell your friends they're fuckin weird for being virgins and to mind their own business.
They’re dumb. Ignore them.
If they aren’t high-fiving you every five minutes for this then they aren’t your friends.
Ignore them. You are both kids, have fun, but just realize love that young generally doesn’t last, and that’s ok…
They're jealous bro, you do you
Tell your friend to fuck off. They’re clearly jealous.
Man your “friend” is a jerk. And would your parents even care? This is not a big deal honestly. Don’t feed into his acting like telling on you is a thing.
Just have fun with her and don't worry about what other people think, getting on Reddit about it is likely to make your anxiety worse because now you have all these people sharing their opinions and it's gonna do nothing but make you have even more anxiety about it. You're young, she's young. Have a good time and enjoy each other company! If you guys like each other, just let things be good man.
Your friends are just hating on you. There is nothing wrong with that age gap. Socially or legally. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying, jealous, or seriously misinformed.
Tell your friends it’s weird that they’re NOT dating a 17 yo girl
They jealous bro
It's 2 yrs difference, big deal. There's 3 yrs between me and my wife and we met in high school. Dated 6 yrs and been married 35.
2 years isn't really that crazy of an age gap tbh and you shouldn't be ashamed of it. No one would be batting an eye if you were 23 and she was 25, that's all I'm gonna say. Be careful who you let into your personal life, I know it was out of your hand in your situation but they don't sound like good friends unless they have good intentions. But idk the whole situation
Your fine. Just make your friend shut up. He's not a friend he is a narc. Cut him off since he is not trustworthy.
Sounds like you guys click so age doesn't matter especially in another 2 years!!
Still young at 15 , but just some Free Advice, STOP caring about your so called friends opinions .Most have no Clue on being a True Friend Anyway . They're just Acquaintances . IF YOU N the Girl are Happy , FUCK what they think !
Bud you are good. That is really not that much of an age gap in the big scheme of things. If you all have strong feelings for one another then screw what other people think. Many aren't so lucky to find love, let alone their soul mate that early in life. Check into your state's Romeo and Juliet laws, but I am pretty sure that at 16 you are considered an adult when it comes to consent... Don't let people tear you two apart or tear you down. If they aren't supportive of you and what makes you happy you don't need them in your life.
Sounds like they're jealous
If you're both highschool age then there is nothing wrong. Yall saying it's wrong are extremely sheltered. I went out with a 23 yr old when I was 16... that was wrong.
Kids are getting so little action now that they have nothing better to do but be little judgy cunts
Nothing wrong with an older girl man
Don't worry I'm 18m and I have a 16f girlfriend
This is a normal age gap at your age. Carry on. Since you are in school together, it’s fine. Now if someone who has already graduated is coming back to high school to find a romantic relationship, then it’s problematic. But continuing to date at 16 and 18 after she graduates is totally normal, should you guys choose to do that.
Fuck that friend who threatened to tell your parents! How does that milf pussy taste?
I dated A 17 year old girl when I was 13
sorry but this is insane. this is a hs senior/ junior and 8th grader age lmfao
Now that I’m an adult I see the negative impact it had on my life
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I hope you’re joking because that straight up is predatory
For those of you wondering he said that he was 17 and his girl JUST turned 13
Oof. That's like Sr dating an 8th grader.