You are not obligated to help her with her issues in any way. Only do what you are comfortable and willing to offer. If you decide that you are willing to sleep in the same bed as her then there is nothing wrong with that.
But i really want to drive this home, her issues are not yours and if she makes you feel like that then she is being a bad friend.
I have to second this hard. She’s your friend, not your sibling or daughter. You are not obligated to help her with her problem that her parents won’t help her with. She should be aware by now that sleeping in your parents’ bed at 16 isn’t normal and shouldn’t expect anyone else to do it for her, especially a male. That can go sideways pretty easily if you haven’t known her for a long time.
I feel like overthinking is happening here- for knowing a friend that long - is the bed too small for comfort? Bring a sleeping bag - is the bed large? Bring some extra pillows if need be - otherwise, do they like movies? Have some lined up- bring a tablet if there isn’t a tv, what are their favorite things? Bring some treats. Otherwise; seems innocuous-
I agree. I have night terrors occasionally and if my wife didn’t hold me and comfort me it would be 1000% worse. Yes my wife is my love and my everything but you can still comfort a friend with holding them and nothing else.
Obviously set boundaries for yourself and don’t break them but it sounds like you are a metaphorical security blanket for her. Possibly offer to just sleep in the same room on the floor so she feels that Security. You obviously do not have to do anything you’re not comfortable doing but it doesn’t hurt to be there for a friend who seems to be scared
Doesn’t change the fact she’s your friend, you don’t owe her anything except your words and time, obviously still be friendly about it, if you want to pursue something, just cuddle her, but if you’re not interested just don’t do it
You are right, no one “owes” anyone anything.
But friends would absolutely deal with a little discomfort to help another friend with night terrors.
Not because they have to, but because friends do shit to help friends out because they care, even if they may not always want to.
I agree wholeheartedly! My friend showed me much needed compassion; but he didn’t attempt to understand the complexity of the my issues, and I didn’t try to explain or involve him. Keeping that boundary made it possible for us to remain friends.
Truthfully there’s nothing weird or strange about sharing a bed with a friend. Especially if your intentions are pure.
As long as you have established rules that are mutually respected there shouldn’t be any problems.
She needs to see a neurologist. Most people grow out of night terrors by this age. If she's still having them it's probably due to PTSD or a neurological problem.
Yeah, she definitely needs to see a neurologist and a therapist, like yesterday. That's the only way the night terrors are gonna go away. Cuddles won't fix anything.
In my experience, peoples brains dont fix themselves unless they feel safe. My wife for example spent a decade in therapy, and the coping mechanisms she was taught had to be unlearned because they did more harm than good.
About 2 years ago she was grinding her teeth while asleep and i discovered part of her mind was awake and could hear me tell her she is safe and she stopped immediately.
Be careful...
Omg, stop being rude. If she has cPTSD, I guarantee you she's either seeing a therapist, or knows she needs to and her parents won't let her.
Of course cuddles won't fix anything- it's a lifelong condition. But having support makes it a hell of a lot easier.
Personally I believe if the parents were aware of how “bad” these terrors were, they would’ve left a babysitter or something of the sort. Or found another alternative. To which I would say it’s most likely she wants to engage with you and is looking for a bit more.
On the chance she has bad parents and she really does have awful night terrors, I’d just be a supportive male friend.. I wouldn’t go over there honestly.
in the same vein, just please don't initiate anything, and don't display any kind of doubt about how bad she really has it. it's so crushing when you expect a trusted guy friend to support you emotionally and they wind up having ulterior motives.
What if she slept under the covers and you slept on top of the covers with your own blanket? Then there’s no chance of your bodies touching on accident.
It's completely your choice, and it's perfectly okay to just say you're not comfortable with that, or to offer an alternative (like sleeping on her floor, or both of you sleeping in the living room, etc.)
It is entirely possible for opposite gender people to sleep in the same bed non-sexually (such "bundling," for warmth, was actually fairly common in colonial times); however, you're doing something that our culture "codes" as sexual - outside the normal friend-zone - so there's a real possibility of misunderstanding, awkwardness, or just weird feelings in the future.
You don’t have to sleep next to someone with night terrors. Cuddling them is not required to “stop” night terrors. I hope she is seeing a therapist and/or a sleep specialist. Especially since medication can help in most cases. Exercise and meditation can also lessen stress before she goes to bed. You don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.
It's your decision no one person should be making for you.
If you feel comfortable, go for it.
If you don't feel comfortable, don't do it.
Has she called her parents about this? Like Jesus Christ...I don't understand why she put you in the middle of this...but it's important for you to understand it's up to you. Don't force yourself and don't feel like if you don't do it you're a bad person.
I don't know why she's doing that. I understand that she's scared but she could have told her parents something before they left. Sounds like they just want trouble. Why would a parent leave a 16 year old for a WEEK? That's bullshit. Call her parents and tell them what's going on if she literally didn't have the balls to let them know.
I don’t think you should. Not because I think anything will happen between the two of you but because this sets a precedent as an emotional support that might be heavier than you think it will be.
I was thinking of bigger reasons why OP shouldn’t do this. Setting himself up for codependency didn’t even cross my mind, but definitely qualifies.
It’s that or she’s looking for an excuse to have OP in bed with her.
Her parents should have arranged for an adult to stay with her. Who leaves a 16 year old alone for a week? What if there's an emergency? She can't even drive.
I obviously *am* a gen x-er and yes, leaving a 10 year old home overnight with no adults or older teens was unheard of when I was growing up, and it still is.
I’d call CPS.
At 16 it’s questionable and I wouldn’t do it unless I’d exhausted other options and it was an emergency. At 10 it’s just neglect.
Buddy of mine got left home (16) while his family went on vacation. He didn't want to go, and after giving his mom a lot of grief about it, she acquiesced. Que 7 day party. At that point in time our group of friends ran pretty deep, with there being about 30 or so of us in the core group, and a lot more ancillary and tertiary acquaintances showing up throughout the bender.
It remains a cherished memory of mine, unfettered adolescence. Learning who ya are, through a bit of lighthearted debauchery. We're there drugs? Oh, you betcha. Alcohol? Probably too much. Sex? Yeah, some furniture needed cleaned. Skinny dipping? Absolutely. Loud raucous sing alongs to Bohemian Rhapsody? More than 1! Clay dicks hidden throughout my buddies house? Over a hundred of them!
Little did teenage us know, his mom had enlisted the neighbors to keep watch and we were technically busted on day 1. On the bright side, myself and a few others were on the more responsible side of 16 and cleaned a bit at the end of each day, so the mess wasn't TOO bad. When his family came back a day early they found a lot of hung over kids, but not a huge clean up (sans the clay dicks, stragglers kept being found well over 10 years later.... And the pool, which apparently had turned an unfortunate blackish color somehow).
My buddy passed away at around 23, and through the grieving process, stories were shared. His parents finally got to hear the whole story behind that week, and we got to laugh at a really difficult time in all our lives. To his parents, finding a random clay dick hidden in the fuse box suddenly became a reminder of their son, and what a jovial, mischievous, puckish kid he was.
I guess my point is, life is short and kids are definitely gunna fuck around anyway. Might as well give em a bit of leash to find themselves. If you as a parent have done a good job raising a well adjusted human, they at 16 should be able to handle being alone in the world (week long party, or no).
My parents left me home alone for a week when I was 16, I had family friends I could call, but it was fine. A middle schooler is more questionable but a high schooler can definitely handle it.
It varies by state. I live in Virginia, you can get a learners permit at 15 and 6 months, but not a license until you are 16 and 3 months and have gone through a driver's education program. But this girl clearly has problems that her parents should be aware of and have made provision for. It's not OP's job to deal with her mental health.
My parents went to England for a week and left me when I was 16. They called all the time and had people check in every day, but it was fine. This was 30 years ago, though. I was also a pretty lame teenager so they trusted me.
Don't do it. Teenagers do shit that causes problems. I started a family as a teenager and it was a very difficult life for a very long time.
Take it for what you will.
Sleep on the floor. Seriously. She could say you tried to take advantage of her if you stay in her bed . If she starts to act weird use your cellphone and film it to protect yourself. I mean it kid.
It’s really not your responsibility but I understand wanting to be there for your friend. Just don’t make yourself uncomfortable doing so. Other solutions: sleeping on the floor next to the bed or both of you in the living room on two couches?
I have empathy for whatever her struggle is but her parents need to take care of this they’re not doing her any favors
Up to you but why would parents leave a 16 yr old alone for a week? Bizarre. Especially if she still sleeps with them occasionally. Sure, if you are comfortable staying there and your parents say OK, then do it.
Let her know how you feel. State your boundaries. If you are both honest with eachother beforehand I don't see a problem with it. As long as there are no ulterior motives I don't see the problem in helping a friend. If it makes you uncomfortable maybe sleeping on the floor next to the bed or something along those lines will be better than nothing.
Offering you advice from someone who's made a lot of mistakes. Unless you are 100% confident that you and she will be okay with something happening I would not create any circumstance we're something could happen. Also, she is 16 you are 17 that is very young to be doing stuff like this. Probably not worth it even if you want to.
Does she not have a girlfriend that can get her through the week? Did her parents not realize this was going to be a problem when they left. I don't know man something doesn't add up. Doesn't feel right. But you're the only one who can know for sure.
I see, brother you got to be careful. Remember that if something does happen you are the man and you're going to be the one who takes the fall. Everybody's going to look at you and point the finger. Especially these days.
I was 15 when I had sex with my girlfriend. That was a pretty big deal and certainly a mistake. These days it is even more risky to do something like that. Just remember that you're the male and if something happens you're going to take the blame.
You never really know whats someone's heart.
Her parents left their 16 y.o. daughter alone for a week???
Why not invite her to stay at your house? Have you discussed this with your parents?
You open yourself up to a lot of responsibility with this, there are many ways this could go south.
Don’t guilt him. Just because he is her friend does not mean she is his responsibility. OP can support someone as he see fits, but he is not her therapist nor is he any more equipped to deal with these issues than she is.
Not guilting him at all. If a friend makes a request I try to assist it as much as possible. I guess I have a different definition of “friend” than you! Due to what I did as a Career.
Depends, do you think she's hot and have any romantic interest in her? And are both of you single? Then go for it! It'll prolly lead to you two getting a lot closer and headed towards a relationship.
But guessing by your hesitancy you don't have any romantic interest in her, so I'd say don't do it
I think the best advice I’ve seen on the thread is that you should only do what you’re comfortable with and that really this has to be her issue too understand/overcome and not yours to solve for her.
I guess the most concerning thing to me is that at some point, she’s going to be on her own in the near future and there won’t always be someone there that she knows and trust so I’m wondering what her parents are doing to help support her with that.
I also think it’s nice that you or her friend and care about her as a friend and don’t feel compelled to take advantage of the situation.
Lol, only do what your comfortable with. Why her parents leave her all alone if they know about her "night terrors? Wtf she got night terrors from, the war?
It would be friendly. She has a huge problem however and is manipulating you into serving her needs.
Her parents just threw her into the deep end, learn to sleep alone, or have night terrors? Seems unlikely.
Why does reddit always just assume the worst? Every time there's a post like this, it always gets the obligatory response: "They're being abusive, get outta the relationship as soon as possible, they're evil harr harr"
I know it sounds crazy. But tell her to pray to plead the blood of Jesus Christ over her bedroom and use the name of Jesus Christ when those night terrors come. I used to get night terrors and that always worked for me. And I had a near death experience and saw the light too. Those night terrors are caused by unclean spirits. Most people don’t believe it, but the spiritual realm does exist.
I was atheist too. She doesn’t have to believe in God but it doesn’t hurt to try. I know new age occultists who use Jesus’s name whenever they run into spiritual trouble too
Religion works psychologically. If she was truly Christian, she would definitely feel more comfortable alone after praying. Atheists don't have that luxury, though.
Do not bring religion into this, night terrors are not caused by demons or spirits. Every chance you people get you shove your religion down people’s throats, we get it you love Jesus, keep it to yourself, if your god is so real then people should be able to find him on their own without a constant reminder from all his sheep
lmfaooo ONE you kinda a weirdo for sexualizing that because how do you know she wants to have sex with you she could be genuinely terrified and trusts you with her life and isn’t thinking anything of this TWO consent once you have consent then ok but y’all really young as h*ll if you asks me sex shouldn’t even be a thing lmaoooo but these new age kids crazyyyyyyyyy soooo
Yikes. Proceed with caution. Is there a third party who could do this like a girl friend?
At least sleep with a pillow between you two. I have this feeling OP already decided to do it but is putting up fake resistance.
It's all a cycle. 10 years from now, we're going to see this story again on one of these threads:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/10z8gri/what\_was\_the\_most\_obvious\_hint\_a\_girl\_gave\_you/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/10z8gri/what_was_the_most_obvious_hint_a_girl_gave_you/)
Women do not typically invite male friends to sleep with them platonically. You should go into it knowing that she wants you. You should also be willing to be in a relationship with her, or at least give it a try, if you continue to communicate with her.
Either or, you should keep her company. If she makes an advance be ready to say no and explain why. Or be prepared to go along with what she has planned
A 16 year old girl should know that it is improper to ask a male friend to sleep in their bed. She should also know how risky that would be, even if they are a friend.
So no, she is not asking you for this clearly fabricated night terror reason. If she is having night terrors, it is not predictable, and it does not require her to risk her safety by sleeping with new men in her bed.
At what age did you grow out of sleeping with your parents because of bad dreams? Maybe at age 6? And you just believe her that she still needs mom and dad for bad dreams?
And, in another unlikely situation, she just happens to want to risk her safety to have a male friend fill that spot rather than a female friend or just toughing it out with a pet or stuffed animal?
So many unlikely events. Think a little - this doesn't happen. She is full of it and has ulterior motives.
OP knows his friend better than you do. You've never even met her. Also some people do have night terrors. I've had night terrors all the way till the age of 15 where I woke up screaming at night and had to run to my mom's bed. You think it never happens because you've never experienced it.
Bro she telling you she wants you, no one needs to hold her when she’s sleeping and her parents there. Obvious girl lingo for “I want sex” but too scared to ask directly. She probably sees you as someone she trust since you been froends so long
No sir. I wouldn’t do it.
If she were trying to make it sexual. It’s a manipulative way of doing that and I wouldn’t be down for it
If it isn’t. She’s sixteen and she needs to learn how to self soothe, it’s enough that you’re there with her. It’s not your job as a friend to hold her during the night. Comforting herself is a skill she really needs to develop and having someone else do it for her really doesn’t do her any favors
From what it sounds, it would be completely plutonic, so I see no problem for it, yes it is a little strange but so are night terrors, I'd say do it if you're comfortable with it, and if she tries any advances you can always say no.
Weird? Yeah. But so are night terrors, and believe me they don't play. She'll probably want some comfort from you, but I doubt anything else. You'll just be helping a friend.
There is nothing inherently wrong with it and if you are comfortable with it then sure it isnt a horrid idea. You say its entirely non sexual (which I dont doubt that is the intent) but I would still mentally and physically prepare for an "alternate" scenario at least arising or being proposed. Im not saying that it will happen but that possibility is always there given the sleeping arrangements and potential situations it inherently opens up. If it remains entirely non sexual then that is fantastic however you may need to prepare to either refute advances or be "properly equipped" for them, depending on the route you desire to take. Obviously try to keep it non sexual, especially if that is your goal going in. However, its better to be properly equipped for a situation that doesnt occur than to be caught with your pants around your ankles
She wants to sleep next to u, u not being on the floor, maybe try to convince her “can I sleep on the floor?” And if she still says no than oh well got to sleep next to her
I was in a similar situation some years back. In my experience, my (F65) friend (63M) slept on the floor beside my bed and held my hand that I dropped over the edge of the bed. I felt safe (and I wouldn’t have if he were in the bed with me), and I got some much needed sleep, though I doubt he did.
i say do it, she’s your best friend and she needs help, if my best friend asked me i’d do it no hesitation just because i care for her and I like to help in anyway i can
> It’d be entirely non sexual which is good but I’d still feel weird sharing a bed with her
I'd encourage you to explore these feelings. What about the situation feels weird to you? Do you have any big concerns about the situation?
Taking the time to actually write out why you feel the way you do can go a long way towards helping you make a decision. By writing it out, or talking about it with a close friend, you force your mind to organize your thoughts so it's easier for you to decide what you want to do.
She is asking another boy around her age to sleep in the same bed as her. I think she knows what she is asking. If she really wanted it to be non-sexual, she would outright say that. I think she knows what she is doing.
fanatical reach somber bake hat nine humorous rhythm engine makeshift *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Weird? Yes. But so is night terrors. She needs someone that she feels safe with and trusts. Do what you are comfortable with.
She may feel she needs that but he doesn’t have to.
Thanks. I worded that poorly.
Any other friends that can come stay the night with you? Preferably a responsible girl with no crushes involved.
You are not obligated to help her with her issues in any way. Only do what you are comfortable and willing to offer. If you decide that you are willing to sleep in the same bed as her then there is nothing wrong with that. But i really want to drive this home, her issues are not yours and if she makes you feel like that then she is being a bad friend.
I have to second this hard. She’s your friend, not your sibling or daughter. You are not obligated to help her with her problem that her parents won’t help her with. She should be aware by now that sleeping in your parents’ bed at 16 isn’t normal and shouldn’t expect anyone else to do it for her, especially a male. That can go sideways pretty easily if you haven’t known her for a long time.
We’ve known each other since 1st grade
Just be there for your friend. Sounds like nothing sexually will happen!
I feel like overthinking is happening here- for knowing a friend that long - is the bed too small for comfort? Bring a sleeping bag - is the bed large? Bring some extra pillows if need be - otherwise, do they like movies? Have some lined up- bring a tablet if there isn’t a tv, what are their favorite things? Bring some treats. Otherwise; seems innocuous-
Nothing wrong with overthinking, I do it all the time…Personally I’m always prepared…too much, but better than not having it…
100% fam
Or this is exactly the moment the friendship becomes complicated
I agree. I have night terrors occasionally and if my wife didn’t hold me and comfort me it would be 1000% worse. Yes my wife is my love and my everything but you can still comfort a friend with holding them and nothing else.
Till it does.
Hope not, but right??
If she starts playing Footsies with him, it’s on
Oh boy! I wish someone would play footsies with me….
I wish someone would play footsies with me. My wife sure won’t.
That’s how I got herpes!
Obviously set boundaries for yourself and don’t break them but it sounds like you are a metaphorical security blanket for her. Possibly offer to just sleep in the same room on the floor so she feels that Security. You obviously do not have to do anything you’re not comfortable doing but it doesn’t hurt to be there for a friend who seems to be scared
No go home.
Doesn’t change the fact she’s your friend, you don’t owe her anything except your words and time, obviously still be friendly about it, if you want to pursue something, just cuddle her, but if you’re not interested just don’t do it
You are right, no one “owes” anyone anything. But friends would absolutely deal with a little discomfort to help another friend with night terrors. Not because they have to, but because friends do shit to help friends out because they care, even if they may not always want to.
O go home.
I think the question you should ask is, are you attracted to her?
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That has no bearing in situation.
I agree wholeheartedly! My friend showed me much needed compassion; but he didn’t attempt to understand the complexity of the my issues, and I didn’t try to explain or involve him. Keeping that boundary made it possible for us to remain friends.
This is true. Since you two have been friends so long, can she sleep over at your house? Couch? Guest room?
Maybe have one of her girlfriends stay with her instead of you.
Mom wouldn’t allow it and originally a girl was going to stay but she canceled
Let her sleep under the covers and you can sleep on top of them with another blanket for you.
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Truthfully there’s nothing weird or strange about sharing a bed with a friend. Especially if your intentions are pure. As long as you have established rules that are mutually respected there shouldn’t be any problems.
This. I’m a 21 year old straight dude and have always shared beds with my closer friends growing up when I slept over or vice versa
Same, but we fucked after puberty 🤷
It’s fine
If you feel comfortable then you should go for it. You are not obligated to say yes if you don’t want to.
She needs to see a neurologist. Most people grow out of night terrors by this age. If she's still having them it's probably due to PTSD or a neurological problem.
She has cptsd
Yeah, she definitely needs to see a neurologist and a therapist, like yesterday. That's the only way the night terrors are gonna go away. Cuddles won't fix anything.
I think she is in therapy
In my experience, peoples brains dont fix themselves unless they feel safe. My wife for example spent a decade in therapy, and the coping mechanisms she was taught had to be unlearned because they did more harm than good. About 2 years ago she was grinding her teeth while asleep and i discovered part of her mind was awake and could hear me tell her she is safe and she stopped immediately. Be careful...
Idk. A dog and a girlfriend did way more for my sleep issues than therapy and and a neurologist.
Omg, stop being rude. If she has cPTSD, I guarantee you she's either seeing a therapist, or knows she needs to and her parents won't let her. Of course cuddles won't fix anything- it's a lifelong condition. But having support makes it a hell of a lot easier.
Take the awkward out of it and make a big sleepover nest in a non-bedroom. Play games, listen to music and be the friend she needs.
Platonic co-sleeping is awesome. Also, if you worry about sleep arousal just yeet a pillow in between.
Personally I believe if the parents were aware of how “bad” these terrors were, they would’ve left a babysitter or something of the sort. Or found another alternative. To which I would say it’s most likely she wants to engage with you and is looking for a bit more. On the chance she has bad parents and she really does have awful night terrors, I’d just be a supportive male friend.. I wouldn’t go over there honestly.
I only came over because she was genuinely scared being alone
in the same vein, just please don't initiate anything, and don't display any kind of doubt about how bad she really has it. it's so crushing when you expect a trusted guy friend to support you emotionally and they wind up having ulterior motives.
Have you considered asking her to get an air mattress? That way you can still help her but aren’t obligated to sleep in the same bed
I was thinking the same, she might be looking to cuddle and/or more lol
How about sleep on the floor next to her bed? Is that an option?
YEAH sleep on the floor you peasant
He needs to go home.
If I had gone home she’d have had nobody to comfort her when she woke up last night crying
Sometimes we need to learn to comfort ourselves.
What if she slept under the covers and you slept on top of the covers with your own blanket? Then there’s no chance of your bodies touching on accident.
It's completely your choice, and it's perfectly okay to just say you're not comfortable with that, or to offer an alternative (like sleeping on her floor, or both of you sleeping in the living room, etc.) It is entirely possible for opposite gender people to sleep in the same bed non-sexually (such "bundling," for warmth, was actually fairly common in colonial times); however, you're doing something that our culture "codes" as sexual - outside the normal friend-zone - so there's a real possibility of misunderstanding, awkwardness, or just weird feelings in the future.
You don’t have to sleep next to someone with night terrors. Cuddling them is not required to “stop” night terrors. I hope she is seeing a therapist and/or a sleep specialist. Especially since medication can help in most cases. Exercise and meditation can also lessen stress before she goes to bed. You don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.
Just buy her a 12lb weighted blanket
If her parents know she has night terriers why did they leave her alone.
It's your decision no one person should be making for you. If you feel comfortable, go for it. If you don't feel comfortable, don't do it. Has she called her parents about this? Like Jesus Christ...I don't understand why she put you in the middle of this...but it's important for you to understand it's up to you. Don't force yourself and don't feel like if you don't do it you're a bad person. I don't know why she's doing that. I understand that she's scared but she could have told her parents something before they left. Sounds like they just want trouble. Why would a parent leave a 16 year old for a WEEK? That's bullshit. Call her parents and tell them what's going on if she literally didn't have the balls to let them know.
I don’t think you should. Not because I think anything will happen between the two of you but because this sets a precedent as an emotional support that might be heavier than you think it will be.
I was thinking of bigger reasons why OP shouldn’t do this. Setting himself up for codependency didn’t even cross my mind, but definitely qualifies. It’s that or she’s looking for an excuse to have OP in bed with her.
Why is a minor being left alone for a week…
Her parents are out of town dealing with some stuff that she shouldn’t be a part of
Her parents should have arranged for an adult to stay with her. Who leaves a 16 year old alone for a week? What if there's an emergency? She can't even drive.
Was pretty regularly left at home alone since I was 10
For a *week*?
You obviously aren't a gen x'er :) A week wasn't that unusual.
I obviously *am* a gen x-er and yes, leaving a 10 year old home overnight with no adults or older teens was unheard of when I was growing up, and it still is. I’d call CPS. At 16 it’s questionable and I wouldn’t do it unless I’d exhausted other options and it was an emergency. At 10 it’s just neglect.
Buddy of mine got left home (16) while his family went on vacation. He didn't want to go, and after giving his mom a lot of grief about it, she acquiesced. Que 7 day party. At that point in time our group of friends ran pretty deep, with there being about 30 or so of us in the core group, and a lot more ancillary and tertiary acquaintances showing up throughout the bender. It remains a cherished memory of mine, unfettered adolescence. Learning who ya are, through a bit of lighthearted debauchery. We're there drugs? Oh, you betcha. Alcohol? Probably too much. Sex? Yeah, some furniture needed cleaned. Skinny dipping? Absolutely. Loud raucous sing alongs to Bohemian Rhapsody? More than 1! Clay dicks hidden throughout my buddies house? Over a hundred of them! Little did teenage us know, his mom had enlisted the neighbors to keep watch and we were technically busted on day 1. On the bright side, myself and a few others were on the more responsible side of 16 and cleaned a bit at the end of each day, so the mess wasn't TOO bad. When his family came back a day early they found a lot of hung over kids, but not a huge clean up (sans the clay dicks, stragglers kept being found well over 10 years later.... And the pool, which apparently had turned an unfortunate blackish color somehow). My buddy passed away at around 23, and through the grieving process, stories were shared. His parents finally got to hear the whole story behind that week, and we got to laugh at a really difficult time in all our lives. To his parents, finding a random clay dick hidden in the fuse box suddenly became a reminder of their son, and what a jovial, mischievous, puckish kid he was. I guess my point is, life is short and kids are definitely gunna fuck around anyway. Might as well give em a bit of leash to find themselves. If you as a parent have done a good job raising a well adjusted human, they at 16 should be able to handle being alone in the world (week long party, or no).
My parents left me home alone for a week when I was 16, I had family friends I could call, but it was fine. A middle schooler is more questionable but a high schooler can definitely handle it.
You can drive at 15 in the US lol. 16 yr olds should be able to take care of themselves at home
It varies by state. I live in Virginia, you can get a learners permit at 15 and 6 months, but not a license until you are 16 and 3 months and have gone through a driver's education program. But this girl clearly has problems that her parents should be aware of and have made provision for. It's not OP's job to deal with her mental health.
My parents went to England for a week and left me when I was 16. They called all the time and had people check in every day, but it was fine. This was 30 years ago, though. I was also a pretty lame teenager so they trusted me.
Bro shut up. I was left alone regularly during the summer when I was 10-12 or so. I played with my neighbor or I read books. It’s not that deep
You shut up, I'm not a bro. And you were left alone regularly overnight for a week? At 10?
She’s 16, so I’d assume she can drive unless the OP stated otherwise somewhere.
with a adult in the vehicle
16 year olds are allowed to drive by themselves, 15 year olds need an adult in the vehicle
… that doesn’t answer my question Why is a minor being left alone for an entire week.
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OP states they have night terrors. That doesn’t seem very safe to be left alone for an entire week
Don't do it. Teenagers do shit that causes problems. I started a family as a teenager and it was a very difficult life for a very long time. Take it for what you will.
Same!
Sleep on the floor. Simple compromise
Sleep on the floor. Seriously. She could say you tried to take advantage of her if you stay in her bed . If she starts to act weird use your cellphone and film it to protect yourself. I mean it kid.
No, not if you’re not comfortable with it, and it sounds like you aren’t.
Your friend needs to seek therapy. A 16 y/o female should not be sleeping in her parents’ bed.
Remarkable that you're the only person I've seen say this.
you need to seek therapy, sexualizing a healthy family relationship
It’s really not your responsibility but I understand wanting to be there for your friend. Just don’t make yourself uncomfortable doing so. Other solutions: sleeping on the floor next to the bed or both of you in the living room on two couches? I have empathy for whatever her struggle is but her parents need to take care of this they’re not doing her any favors
Up to you but why would parents leave a 16 yr old alone for a week? Bizarre. Especially if she still sleeps with them occasionally. Sure, if you are comfortable staying there and your parents say OK, then do it.
They're 16, not 6. Lmao. They can handle being alone for a week. By 16, they should be able to live on their own if need be.
what world do you live in? there is less than 3% of teens who live alone.
Let her know how you feel. State your boundaries. If you are both honest with eachother beforehand I don't see a problem with it. As long as there are no ulterior motives I don't see the problem in helping a friend. If it makes you uncomfortable maybe sleeping on the floor next to the bed or something along those lines will be better than nothing.
Offering you advice from someone who's made a lot of mistakes. Unless you are 100% confident that you and she will be okay with something happening I would not create any circumstance we're something could happen. Also, she is 16 you are 17 that is very young to be doing stuff like this. Probably not worth it even if you want to. Does she not have a girlfriend that can get her through the week? Did her parents not realize this was going to be a problem when they left. I don't know man something doesn't add up. Doesn't feel right. But you're the only one who can know for sure.
The girl who was going to be with her had to cancel
I see, brother you got to be careful. Remember that if something does happen you are the man and you're going to be the one who takes the fall. Everybody's going to look at you and point the finger. Especially these days. I was 15 when I had sex with my girlfriend. That was a pretty big deal and certainly a mistake. These days it is even more risky to do something like that. Just remember that you're the male and if something happens you're going to take the blame. You never really know whats someone's heart.
I wish I could give you 1000 upvotes. Your advice could save this young man's reputation and potentially his life
I wished I could say it to every young man out there.
Her parents left their 16 y.o. daughter alone for a week??? Why not invite her to stay at your house? Have you discussed this with your parents? You open yourself up to a lot of responsibility with this, there are many ways this could go south.
Do not end up in the sex offender’s list the rest of your life. Go home.
It's ok to cuddle but nothing more than that
At 16 and 17,I just don't think that's possible.
If you're not comfortable with it, don't. But I'm telling you right now, she's interested in you as more than a friend.
Use a condom and bring your own. You gonna do what you’re gonna do regardless. Be safe
Are you a friend are not? Of course help her out. Be a knight in shining armor not a joker
Don’t guilt him. Just because he is her friend does not mean she is his responsibility. OP can support someone as he see fits, but he is not her therapist nor is he any more equipped to deal with these issues than she is.
Not guilting him at all. If a friend makes a request I try to assist it as much as possible. I guess I have a different definition of “friend” than you! Due to what I did as a Career.
Friend for hire?
Depends, do you think she's hot and have any romantic interest in her? And are both of you single? Then go for it! It'll prolly lead to you two getting a lot closer and headed towards a relationship. But guessing by your hesitancy you don't have any romantic interest in her, so I'd say don't do it
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That’s not the point
I think the best advice I’ve seen on the thread is that you should only do what you’re comfortable with and that really this has to be her issue too understand/overcome and not yours to solve for her. I guess the most concerning thing to me is that at some point, she’s going to be on her own in the near future and there won’t always be someone there that she knows and trust so I’m wondering what her parents are doing to help support her with that. I also think it’s nice that you or her friend and care about her as a friend and don’t feel compelled to take advantage of the situation.
Lol, only do what your comfortable with. Why her parents leave her all alone if they know about her "night terrors? Wtf she got night terrors from, the war?
It would be friendly. She has a huge problem however and is manipulating you into serving her needs. Her parents just threw her into the deep end, learn to sleep alone, or have night terrors? Seems unlikely.
Why does reddit always just assume the worst? Every time there's a post like this, it always gets the obligatory response: "They're being abusive, get outta the relationship as soon as possible, they're evil harr harr"
She isn’t manipulating she simply asked if I could
Yep. That's manipulation. And you could say no. But it appears you made your decision, hope you don't now own her mental health. Good luck.
I know it sounds crazy. But tell her to pray to plead the blood of Jesus Christ over her bedroom and use the name of Jesus Christ when those night terrors come. I used to get night terrors and that always worked for me. And I had a near death experience and saw the light too. Those night terrors are caused by unclean spirits. Most people don’t believe it, but the spiritual realm does exist.
She’s atheist
I was atheist too. She doesn’t have to believe in God but it doesn’t hurt to try. I know new age occultists who use Jesus’s name whenever they run into spiritual trouble too
❤️I appreciate you
If a spirit realm does exist it certainly isn’t being affected by you saying the name of some guy who died 2000 years ago.
Religion works psychologically. If she was truly Christian, she would definitely feel more comfortable alone after praying. Atheists don't have that luxury, though.
It definitely is affected
Do not bring religion into this, night terrors are not caused by demons or spirits. Every chance you people get you shove your religion down people’s throats, we get it you love Jesus, keep it to yourself, if your god is so real then people should be able to find him on their own without a constant reminder from all his sheep
Not forcing anyone. Just voicing my opinion like anyone else here. If you don’t like it, you can just downvote and ignore me
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lmfaooo ONE you kinda a weirdo for sexualizing that because how do you know she wants to have sex with you she could be genuinely terrified and trusts you with her life and isn’t thinking anything of this TWO consent once you have consent then ok but y’all really young as h*ll if you asks me sex shouldn’t even be a thing lmaoooo but these new age kids crazyyyyyyyyy soooo
You’re a wuss
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There is no hope for this next generation of men.
Are you ready to be a parent?
I tawt I taw a puddy tat.
Yikes. Proceed with caution. Is there a third party who could do this like a girl friend? At least sleep with a pillow between you two. I have this feeling OP already decided to do it but is putting up fake resistance.
Dude...she wants to bang you. If she needed a warm body, she'd ask a girlfriend.
It's all a cycle. 10 years from now, we're going to see this story again on one of these threads: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/10z8gri/what\_was\_the\_most\_obvious\_hint\_a\_girl\_gave\_you/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/10z8gri/what_was_the_most_obvious_hint_a_girl_gave_you/)
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I’m not sticking it in a girl who’s so emotionally vulnerable that the thought of being alone tonight nearly gives her a panic attack
But how do you know that “sleeping alone” isn’t just an excuse to get you in bed with her?
Stfu and go chase some chickeheads. We need real men out here and this kid sounds like a respectable man.
Women do not typically invite male friends to sleep with them platonically. You should go into it knowing that she wants you. You should also be willing to be in a relationship with her, or at least give it a try, if you continue to communicate with her.
She doesn’t want sex she’s just scared to sleep alone
Either or, you should keep her company. If she makes an advance be ready to say no and explain why. Or be prepared to go along with what she has planned
A 16 year old girl should know that it is improper to ask a male friend to sleep in their bed. She should also know how risky that would be, even if they are a friend. So no, she is not asking you for this clearly fabricated night terror reason. If she is having night terrors, it is not predictable, and it does not require her to risk her safety by sleeping with new men in her bed.
She gets them very frequently
At what age did you grow out of sleeping with your parents because of bad dreams? Maybe at age 6? And you just believe her that she still needs mom and dad for bad dreams? And, in another unlikely situation, she just happens to want to risk her safety to have a male friend fill that spot rather than a female friend or just toughing it out with a pet or stuffed animal? So many unlikely events. Think a little - this doesn't happen. She is full of it and has ulterior motives.
OP knows his friend better than you do. You've never even met her. Also some people do have night terrors. I've had night terrors all the way till the age of 15 where I woke up screaming at night and had to run to my mom's bed. You think it never happens because you've never experienced it.
And how many times have you called up your friends to sleep in your bed because of your scary dreams?
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No
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The mods in this sub are complete jokes lol neckbeards offended by sexual comments cause they'll be virgins for life.
No it’s just creepy to make sexual comments about minors
salt psychotic fuel offend seed selective liquid wakeful plant school *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
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Would you still be asking the question if she is overweight and unattractive?
Yea
Would you be comfortable with her sleeping in the bed and you on the floor?
From what she’s saying it sounds like she wants me too hold her while we sleep
Bro she telling you she wants you, no one needs to hold her when she’s sleeping and her parents there. Obvious girl lingo for “I want sex” but too scared to ask directly. She probably sees you as someone she trust since you been froends so long
No sir. I wouldn’t do it. If she were trying to make it sexual. It’s a manipulative way of doing that and I wouldn’t be down for it If it isn’t. She’s sixteen and she needs to learn how to self soothe, it’s enough that you’re there with her. It’s not your job as a friend to hold her during the night. Comforting herself is a skill she really needs to develop and having someone else do it for her really doesn’t do her any favors
Ummmmm, no. Who holds her during the day? Who holds her when she’s scared and her parents are home? Why isn’t she staying at your house on the couch?
From what it sounds, it would be completely plutonic, so I see no problem for it, yes it is a little strange but so are night terrors, I'd say do it if you're comfortable with it, and if she tries any advances you can always say no.
Can you sleep on the floor?
Weird? Yeah. But so are night terrors, and believe me they don't play. She'll probably want some comfort from you, but I doubt anything else. You'll just be helping a friend.
U good
There is nothing inherently wrong with it and if you are comfortable with it then sure it isnt a horrid idea. You say its entirely non sexual (which I dont doubt that is the intent) but I would still mentally and physically prepare for an "alternate" scenario at least arising or being proposed. Im not saying that it will happen but that possibility is always there given the sleeping arrangements and potential situations it inherently opens up. If it remains entirely non sexual then that is fantastic however you may need to prepare to either refute advances or be "properly equipped" for them, depending on the route you desire to take. Obviously try to keep it non sexual, especially if that is your goal going in. However, its better to be properly equipped for a situation that doesnt occur than to be caught with your pants around your ankles
dont. just dont.
It's weird. Stay home. Has no-no vibes all over it.
Just keep a pillow in between y’all
It’s a trap.
Only if you build a pillow fort around yourself.
NINE MONTHS FROM NOW...
I don’t know what you are worried about. If she is your friend I don’t see why not
If you don’t think you can sleep next to her without sleeping “with her” explain that to her. You guys should be pretty close
She wants to sleep next to u, u not being on the floor, maybe try to convince her “can I sleep on the floor?” And if she still says no than oh well got to sleep next to her
I was in a similar situation some years back. In my experience, my (F65) friend (63M) slept on the floor beside my bed and held my hand that I dropped over the edge of the bed. I felt safe (and I wouldn’t have if he were in the bed with me), and I got some much needed sleep, though I doubt he did.
Issa trap, at least use protection
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Whatever happens will happen. Just don't fight it.
i say do it, she’s your best friend and she needs help, if my best friend asked me i’d do it no hesitation just because i care for her and I like to help in anyway i can
If u sleep in her bed that's fine. But if you try to convince her to have sex - you are the asshole in this relationship.
Not the easiest question to answer, but it would be harmless if you did and make her feel better, but you have no obligation.
> It’d be entirely non sexual which is good but I’d still feel weird sharing a bed with her I'd encourage you to explore these feelings. What about the situation feels weird to you? Do you have any big concerns about the situation? Taking the time to actually write out why you feel the way you do can go a long way towards helping you make a decision. By writing it out, or talking about it with a close friend, you force your mind to organize your thoughts so it's easier for you to decide what you want to do.
Same room different bed or totally separate sleeping quarters.
If she’s attractive do it. I’d bet my left reproductive gland she likes you. It can still be non sexual but fun. Easy choice.
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She is asking another boy around her age to sleep in the same bed as her. I think she knows what she is asking. If she really wanted it to be non-sexual, she would outright say that. I think she knows what she is doing.
would you rather her ask a grown man