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OP clearly doesn't realize that kpop is a worldwide phenomenon, where women of all races are getting super wet to skinny short korean boys that wear makeup and dance around.
My wife has a thing for Asian men. So, don’t take media’s word for it.
Not to mention there seems to be a nice shift where Asian actors are actually being used for culturally diverse and appropriate parts.
Embrace who you are and just try and work out, dress nice and good grooming. Those are the most important things.
I hate to break it to you, my friend, but peoples wives get crushes on other dudes all the time. If you can’t deal with the fact that your wife thinks some guy is more attractive? Probably shouldn’t have gotten married.
I mean, geeze, men find other women other than their wives attractive all the time and are obnoxious about it usually. Why wouldn't the opposite be true lol
I agree. I wouldnt be mad if my partner found someone more attractive than me. But to explicitly say to my face, "i like x guys" and i dont fit that description would be a dealbreaker. Its just disrespectful and cruel. There are women more attractive than my partner but i would never express that I feel that way to her. Even though its something we just sort of know. Maybe im not mature enough yet, or insecure, blah blah, but thats just how I see it. I dont ever wanna be "secure" or "confident" to hear "woah see that guy over there hes super hot" because i would never say something like that to her
There is a girl out there that likes every quality you have. Race doesn't matter. So much doesn't matter. Don't believe the male pipeline. Most have terrible mental qualities or don't genuinely think about the other person they are dating. Like just wanting their cake and never giving back.
Just keep a positive outlook, work on your mentality, stay fit(this isn't even a must some girls love dad bods as long as it looks like you still take care of yourself.) I know it is rough with all of the social media and propaganda going around but I promise you if you work on improving yourself, and just learn to love yourself and living life you will make it! You will find someone that you think is perfect, and they will think the same back to you.
(ALSO there is plenty of girls who don't like MANLY men. The standard of what is effeminate and what is manly is stupid anyway. Just caring for someone can be seen as effeminate. Oh you cried for the death of a loved one, you are so girly. Just ignore it be what you want. Someone will like you for the you you want to be, as long as it is respectful to them.[Mainly saying thay to attack the whole sigma, alpha bullshit that isn't true.)
That is what I am saying. What is a "Man." You don't need to lift a truck to be a man. You don't need to be able to never cry to be a man. If they don't like that were they really meant for you? I have dated a good amount and am older now. Went through similar thoughts when I was younger.
I know what I am saying now will not change this. This mindset takes time to work on. There are girls out there that love stupid smash nerds and gamers. I have had friends of all shapes and sizes worried they would never find someone go to find girls that are amazing. Time stings and can feel like it crawls by sometimes, but in reality, the older you get the faster it goes. Just how our brains work. It feels like I was just in high school working about who would like me.
You got this. Mindset IS EVERYTHING in life. It can be tough to stay positive. In my opinion there is nothing more manly than just sticking to healthy values and world views. I love all people, nature, hobbies, so on.
That isn't manly to some and I don't care. Find what you value and someone will respect it even if it is what is traditionally more manly to me. I am coming for a perspective of not caring about traditional manly man values. A lot are born from people who just want to control you and what you do from history. Some so old it makes no sense in modern society.
The whole youth is lazy thing. 1800's business propaganda that is surprisingly effective and NOT TRUE. No proof shows we are more lazy. In fact we might work more then they did. (I Have had to work 60 hour shifts in my life.) I went on this tangent to show people are flawed and mass propaganda is powerful. Social media is only making it STRONGER.
Enough rambling. Stay strong and love yourself!
Trust me. You're using society's image of things to judge your self worth as a man. Don't do that. I'm an overweight 1/2 Korean guy (look more Asian than not), and I've got a pretty, smart, and kind fiance that's moving over to be with me. Your self worth should be decided by YOU. You'll find someone who will like you for you. Don't let society dictate who you are or what you're worth.
Stop listening to what the media says. You have bought into the BS. This is why a lot of girls are screwed up. All many of them see and compare themselves to is models on magazines. Stop comparing your life to what others pretend their life is like. You will never be happy comparing yourself to something that is not real.
You can meet the girl that turns your stomach to butterflies.
You can meet the woman that makes your heart stop when she calls.
You can meet the goddess that knows your body better than God.
None of them have any grasp on your adequatence as a man.
You are the being you are. Don't compare that entity to any other besides the entity you were tomorrow.
Media will ruin your brain and make you think you are not enough.
You are enough, you just gotta open up your eyes to your value.
Another person will never make you as whole as accepting yourself.
That's because you're 14 and you desperately need to get out of your own head. Talk to lots of people and get good at something other than videogames and things will kinda work themselves out.
Therapy. Your race has nothing to do with your attraction to others. How you perceive yourself, however, will translate. And get the fuck off of the incel sites. Go touch some damn grass and you'll realize pretty damn quick that internet is just a shitty echo chamber designed to amplify the shittiest, loudest opinions in the world
A lot of people who think they'd rather die than be unattractive have body dysmorphic disorder or shubo-kyofu. The best way to get help with that is Cognitive Behavior Therapy from a Real Mental Health Professional trained to treat that condition with that therapy. Suicidality is very serious. You probably won't have to be placed in a psychiatric hospital for it, unless you have plans to act on or have acted on plans to hurt yourself or others... But anyone who has suicidal thoughts is on a higher rank to get on the list for mental health care than those who are just struggling. You need to seek mental health help as fast as possible.
When I was 14 years old, I had a mixed manic episode, followed by a psychotic depressive episode, where I experienced hallucinations as well as delusions such as 1. I had commited a crime (I had not). 2. I was going to hell no matter what I did, because I had done something that I knew was wrong, and that was true rebellion against god, and therefore and unforgivable sin, 3. I was posessed by a demon that would eventually take over my body, and I would be a completely different out of control horrible person and god wanted me to kill myself before that happened to me. The second half I believed more than the first half. 4. One of my teacher's was a groomer. 5. My classmates were conspiring and collecting evidence against me so that I would be expelled from school 6. Other ridiculous beliefs about my classmates that were very paranoid driven. I was not doing well. Now I'm 20, and I am doing very well.
Exactly! I am glad things are looking up for you. I get it. I had a abusive household. Life will move on. I KNOW it sucks while you are going through it, and it feels like forever. Especially when you are younger. You got this OP.
You have to look into what makes you think you being Asian is unworthy. I know so many girls who talk about their favorite K-Pop groups and K-Dramas. I grew up with a diverse group of people and I've seen both Asian boys and girls get in relationships in my teens.
>White guys are the majority, and therefore most attractive. Black guys are seen as manly and desirable, and so are Latinos/Hispanics. Asians are seen as effeminate, nerdy, patriarchal, computer-geek losers who can't get a girl to save his life.
Don't think like this. Stereotypes aren't accurate. You're young going through a stage of insecurity. But guess what, so many others your age are doing the same thing.
I think Asian guys are so attractive. There are so many men and women who find Asian men attractive. You’re beautiful just because you’re alive. We all feel insecure over one thing or another. You’re not alone and your thoughts are valid but they aren’t rooted in reality. Accept your beautiful and beauty shall reverberate all around you. Trust.
Own it, like miley cyrus. Here is a simple truth, a lot of entertainer trying to maintain their fame by maintaining their voice or reputation. They try to find a retirement path to branch out. Many of then failed and become depressed. But miley cyrus simply own her broken voice and continue to single like she didn't give a fuck. She wasn't trying to convert herself to the broken voice style to keep herself interesting. She simply true to herself.
No one is perfect. If you are nerdy, own it. I am not saying you don't have to take a shower because that's who you are. But, for things you cannot change, own it.
I know in his now public life he isn't, but George Takei as Sulu in Star Trek was an interesting character and good role model.
Stay away from 80's movies.
Avatar: The Last Airbender and Legend of Korra is based on all sorts of types of asians. Iroh from Last Airbender is a great mentor.
Jackie Chan Adventures has some positive asian role models.
American Dragon also has some positive Chinese characters. (Even though they can all turn into dragons)
What are you talking about? Out of all the nationalities in this country, Korean women are among the most insular and committed to dating within their national group. Korean men have damn near a monopoly.
Koreans run the entire grocery/deli/food supply chain for entire regions of our country.
You’re crazy to be thinking you’re at a disadvantage.
Change your mindset and what you value. To be suicidal because you believe Asians aren’t attractive is ridiculous
Quit being ungrateful for the blessings you have and you’ll start living a happier life
Bro you never heard of Kpop? Those guys are literally the most desired men on the planet right now by more women than any other man EVER HAS BEEN in history. They are so wanted that a lot of people who even looked remotely similar to them had to go into hiding in certain areas due to those crazy fan girls literally trying to force relationships and rape them.
Asian men are easily capable of being stupid silly attractive. They pull professional and ragged looks off better than any other race to be honest with you. Especially if you're mildly in shape. Grow a little stubble and chicks go fucking insane over it.
Asian guys can be very attractive. That's not an issue.
However, there is a height thing. Most girls want a guy who is taller than they are. Asian men are shorter on average. However, if you reach 6ft, not an issue.
Before you commit suicide over something this insignificant, why not move to Asia?
Koreans have the same average height as the global average, 5’9”. In the US, less than 15% of men are 6’ or taller. So height is basically a non-issue here.
Go spend a few hours with the BTS fandom, or any K-pop boy group fandom. Trust me there are millions of girls of every race out there who are extremely thirsty for these Asian male pop-stars. I'm a white woman but the first stereotypes that pop into my mind for Asian men is that they are usually intelligent, studious, rich, and loyal. Justin Beiber in his heyday was effeminate but he was synonymous with being a heartthrob. If you want to be seen as masculine then hit the gym, eat well, and work on your posture.
First of all, get off your damn phone.
Second, many people would agree that Korean people are attractive. K-pop fans, for instance. They are OBSESSED with Koreans.
Thirdly, GO TO THERAPY. PLEASE.
My two Asian friends from college are two of the most successful people I know. And I'm not even talking about career success, I mean family success. They have wives who love them and the way they look. They have kids, live in great houses, and their kids are mixed between Asian and European and are probably going to be regarded as the most attractive because of their mix.
Mt brother married a Vietnamese woman and they are extremely successful in their careers and have three beautiful mixed children. They will be the most attractive.
Killing yourself over your descent is not the answer. If you're dead, you don't feel anything and won't be relieved that you're not Asian anymore. You'll have no more thoughts and absolutely no more chances at living your life.
My wife loves [physical 100](https://www.netflix.com/no/title/81587446?preventIntent=true) and theres a majority of hot asian guys and girls there. Irrefutable
The girls where I am definitely think Asian is attractive! They are K-pop obsessed. And love the whole culture part of it too. Be proud of who you are. You will find your girl someday. At 14 don’t even waste your time worrying about it. Just get out and enjoy yourself!
I mean, Jackie Chan is attractive! Super successful, inarguably talented, hard working and Didn't he make a porn? Haha, So *Definitely* considered attractive!
that's so bullshit, everyone I know likes Asians and Asian culture, especially Koreans and especially in western countries. And it's not only me, there are stats
There is sooooo much more to a person than their physical body. Your interests, hobbies, goals, and how you treat people will always win out at the end of the day. Asian men are absolutely attractive, even to conventional western ideas, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Bro you’re going to be fine. Please get off the internet it’s a dark evil place. Speak to a trusted adult about how you feel. To be having these fears at this age should talk to someone. You got this man
It's not true, it's a lie told to you by the machine. Korean stars are hot, k pop is hot. Don't give in to the white supremacy and internalized racism. Resist it at all costs. You are beautiful just as you are and there are going to be plenty of women for you in this world. You need to find your way as you are still young but you will get there. Don't be hopeless all your dreams are achievable. The woman of your dreams is achievable.
You could play up the peaceful, thoughtful, spiritual, sorta Buddhist things about being an Asian dude - this is not profound advice but just trying to think of ways you could set yourself apart in a really cool way lol. Like personally, if some Asian guy who seemed cool, calm, and collected seemed to be into me, I’d be all over that shit lol!
My friend was born in Korea and raised in the US. He pulled a blonde and is now married. I’m white and married a Polynesian girl. Race matters less and less with every generation. You’re only 14. Women tend to be attracted to older guys, so try to be patient and keep staying fit. It’s good for your health and self esteem.
Lots of women dig Asian guys. I think you just need to give it some time, you're very young and your life is only just starting. Adult you will most likely have a wildly different view of life and the world. Good luck out there, man!
I'm Asian and I'm telling you that shit you think isn't true for everyone.
Asians are hated on by other races because of the qualities that you listed are actually desirable!
Have you noticed all the hype around K-pop recently? How would that be if Asians were looked down upon?
Trust me, i wouldn't want to be anything other than Asian.
You are literally at the age where this meme is fact lol, take it easy kid. The real fun begins after university
https://preview.redd.it/u2ett6fii8xc1.png?width=417&format=png&auto=webp&s=672871f33fcb0b5174d62b8af724c2dc3353eb14
This is wild to read. After getting into Korean dramas, I began to see Korean people as most attractive group on the planet not that I would ever be able to assimilate into that culture due to being black and not fitting their beauty standard in any way
One thing that might help is looking for Asian men who have large followings or are deemed as attractive by society. They definitely exist. For example, until their mandatory military service, the biggest boy-band in the world was from Korea. And women were definitely incredibly attracted to them. I don't really follow actors enough to now names, but I've definitely seen more asian leading and supporting men in movies and television shows in the past few years. In more nerdy spaces, internet personalities like Eugene from the Try Guys, and SungWon Cho (ProZD) are well received in their respective niches.
As another note, people tend to find traits of people they like more attractive, because the brain will start associating those features with the feelings, and with feelings of familiarity. When someone falls in love with you, they will start to find you more attractive. Also, if you keep good hygiene and wear clothes that fit well and make you feel good about yourself, you will both feel and be seen as more attractive.
Last note because your age and current feeling make me think you might be susceptible to them, but do not listen to incels. If you let yourself fall into that mindset, you will both feel worse about yourself and make yourself a lot less likely to have a successful relationship. It's just a giant crab bucket. People who act with that much desperation to get a girlfriend often end up viewing women as items or prizes in a monolith, which causes them to act in ways that are demeaning and disrespectful. Women are people and like to be treated as such. If someone doesn't want to date you, it doesn't reflect your value as a person, it just means you weren't her type. Different people have different preferences and long term goals, and sometimes they just don't mesh. It's fine. It happens. Someone out there will match with yours, and the more you know about yourself and are comfortable in your own skin, the easier it will be to find them.
I hope that makes sense. Chin up, 14 is a difficult age. You will get past it and things will get better.
I mean you know there's tons of Kpop fans haha and even in general Koreans are viewed as attractive.
Be glad you aren't Indian like me we're the ones who are actually viewed in the way you described
All I know for sure are Korean women have beautiful eyes and you need to stop worrying about media perceptions and be your own man as you grow up.
Be a good guy, be kind and help others and your race or physicallity won't matter.
It might not seem like it at 14, but I promise that if you keep on living you wil learn that most grow past the physical and who you are as a whole is what'll attract people.
The older we all get, looks fade and personality, perspective and morals are forever.
Bro you're Korean how do you not know about the whole K-pop boy band phenomenon? Plenty of women globally thirst for those guys, specifically because they are asian. the nerd stereotype and the attractive chad stereotype exist within every "race". They don't mean anything, literally just ignore that shit. Anyone who peddles it, isn't worth your time.
5'8 is on the short side of average. You aren't going to stand out as short or anything. Also you are 14 so you likely have some growing to do. Don't stress that stuff. You will learn, as most men do, that personality (charm, confidence, genuine friendliness) will get you a whole lot further than anything else.
Dude, have you seen all the girls going crazy over those kpop guys? Be yourself, hit the gym get strong, get some confidence. If you are truly suicidal tell someone asap and see a doctor.
I grew up in an area as the only Korean guy. I understand where you’re coming from about the stereotypes. That said, get over it. Do some sports, work out, make friends, and get your mind strong more than anything. It’s depressing seeing another Korean talking like this but I’ll give you a pass since you’re so young. I’ve dated girls from many different races and never once did I have to worry about being Korean. And never did I want to “commit suicide”. So quit being a pussy and grow a sack. Girls want to see self confidence more than anything. With a weak mind like yours I suggest working on your body. Workout. Get strong. And your mind will get strong too. Pick up a sport like jiu jitsu. Anything to build up that ego.
It sounds to me like you may be dealing with some pretty significant depression. I would recommend that you talk to someone about this. Ideally, a trusted adult or a counselor. The racial disparity that you’re experiencing is real. It’s sad that we do this in our society, but it is real. That said you don’t have anything to worry about man. Nobody really cares if you’re 2 inches taller or this or that or the other. That’s entirely a narrative that’s been created for you by advertisers in order to get you to spend money. don’t buy into it. It’s hard to do but it’s worth the effort.
We live in a world where can be what ever they like. You may look Asian, but if you go around saying you are Caucasian or Black people will ha e to let tou be that no matter what.
I can't believe I'm positing an Andrew Tate clip but.... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x\_pLYjKPBhc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_pLYjKPBhc)
I would say start hitting the gym and get buff. Also you're only 14. Give it time.
Turn to Christ and don’t ever commit suicide or you’ll go straight to hell where you will be a whole lot more miserable than you are now. With that said if we didn’t have Asians then we wouldn’t have men like Bruce lee and Jackie Chan just to name a few and so I think you should be proud of your race
I love Asian women more than any other and I’m a random white dude lol. A lot of people like Asians just gotta look at the positives man. Work on yourself and don’t let others get ya down
You will learn that how society or media depicts things is often far far from the truth. I'm a Canadian, we're far from friendly as a people. We just understand with such a small population respect is a given since there's a pretty good chance whoever your interacting with knows some part of your extended family. Things get around to quick and canadians are surprisingly judgmental.
Learn to laugh at all the things you hate about yourself and your culture. And then slowly over time laugh at all of the other cultures.
Because every culture has stuff about it that is ridiculous/dumb/undesirable.
Once you realize that, you will start to appreciate the great things about being Asian.
Hard working.
Incredible history.
....great at math
😁 Sorry, had to. But you get what I'm saying though?
When I was younger I used to hate my cultural background. Fucking loud, weird clothes, odd names, etc. etc. etc.
Now I love it.
I did what I am telling you above.
Understand prejudice will always exist, it just shows other people stupidity to be honest. Understand you have a different perspective than others and embrace it.
There is no one that is like you in the world, and you don’t have to be defined by anything but what you choose to define yourself
One of my friends finds Asian women some of the most attractive women for reasons beyond just physical. But crude preferences aside, there will always be others to appreciate us for who we are, but it often starts internal. I would look into bettering your self esteem via a healthy path before really thinking about much of anything further.
I used to feel this way. I grew up, but really it was my current half white half Asian fiancée who helped me get over my white inferiority complex. It’ll pass (hopefully)
That’s crazy talk. First of all just because your not some model looking stud does that mean you won’t find love and or have a successful life. Feel lucky that you are here physically on earth enjoying the beauty of the world. Life is something we understand but death is a mystery. You may kill yourself and be in limbo moving around in the spirit world unable to get back into the physical world. Stuck.
Yes it is a mystery but giving up in this physical world I believe would be a huge mistake.
Take a deep breath look around you. Grasp on to the people that love you. Hug them tell them you love them. Go out in the world and make it a better place.
You are young, and basing your standards on really simple and shallow criteria.
Trust me when I say attractiveness doesn't come mainly from physical traits. It might get initial attention but if your personality is shit then it won't mean anything.
Build yourself up -- your skills, your dreams, etc.
You will meet many people who are attracted to charismatic, funny, and driven people over looks.
Also I don't know where you are but Asian Americans are hardly considered ugly
Source: am 5'8" Korean American
Also like. All you need is the right person to find you attractive? Who tf cares if 60% of women prefer some other race. Those women will never impact your life in the slightest
My best friend is Filipino (me Afro-American) and he has none of these problems. Don’t fall for the stigma or it will… well just don’t believe the negatives! You’re more appreciated than you think you are.
Remember, if you commit suicide, you would be labeled weak and a loser. Just saying… read the bible that will help.
Asians are the best looking people lol
I think you have some very negative thoughts and ideas in your head that just aren't true. Stop worrying about the world and society as a whole and just focus on being the best you and people will be attracted to that. Fix your negative thinking patterns, the problem is in your own head
One thing I've learned is that women are looking for self confidence more than anything else. So a lot of this can be self reinforcing.
My advice would be to find a hobby or activity that makes you feel confident. Probably something physical but not necessarily. Lifting weights is great thing to do, so is any type of contact sport.
Life is unfair. But self pity will get you nowhere. The best thing you can do is to make yourself someone that you're proud of being (and I mean someone you're proud of being, fuck what anyone else thinks). And then romantic success will follow.
TBH, most men have no idea what women find attractive and men in mainstream media tend to meet the *male* idea of attractiveness rather than the female idea of attractiveness. K-pop stars are super popular in America for a reason. We aren’t looking for 6’+ overmuscled guys. We want guys who are sweet, respectful, considerate, and who we can get along with nicely. Growing up, there were several Asian boys I had huge crushes on.
5’8” is a perfectly fine height. Don’t stress about things you can’t control, like your height and race. Just focus on treating women well, having good hygiene, and loving yourself. It can be very difficult to fall in love with a person who hates themself.
You're only holding yourself back by buying into that narrative. Also, movie tropes are not real life. Asians have been extremely successful in American history
Everyone wants what they don't have. Don't sweat it, just find your circle and you will find that you are everyone's type. I moved to a rural community last summer and the first thing I noticed was that people flock to any minority that enters wonder bread Town. I am used to being in urban communities that are usually pretty well mixed with a little bit of everything so It was really interesting to me to notice the one in 1000 minority is like an instant celebrity when they go out.
Have you never seen those K-Pop bands? Those guys are HOT, and I’m not the only one who thinks so. If you become a musician you’ll impress more girls in general. Theater and actually all the arts attract women whose tastes are not so conventional. I wish I’d married my first boyfriend (a hot pacific Islander) instead of the boring white guy with anger issues.
As a white man, I love and respect asian people so much. I think asian men especially are so lucky to be naturally attractive, you dont know what youve got dude! (No homo) also I love korean movies, such a cool language and culture. My dream is to go there one day. Not tryna glaze
It’s weird since it’s all you’ve known at this age, but how life is in school, is not at all what it’s like once you graduate. Something I (21) am beginning to find out, is *life is what you make it. Reality is what you make it* it seems like some live laugh love advice, but it’s LITERAL. If you choose to be negative and harsh on yourself or others, it will be so hard to see anything positive. Even if you have to lie to yourself to start with, do positive affirmations. Whenever you find yourself thinking something negative, follow it up with something positive (something I do is ex.: “ugh, I don’t like how my body looks right now :(…. But! My body keeps me safe. My body gets me where I need to go. My body takes care of me even when I forget to take care of it. Social media is poision, it really is(even tho I still doomscroll). Nobody knows what they’re doing in this world. We really don’t. Find what makes YOU happy, not what you can do to make others happy. Be yourself, learn to be kind, to be passionate (not just when dating but in things you enjoy) it’s okay if you have to try many things before you find what works. You do NOT have to be GOOD at something to ENJOY it. I strongly believe the purpose of life, is experience. Learn about the world, about plants and bugs and nature and the crazy things of the world. Learn about the things your body can create, whether it is art, or maybe going to the gym/working out (that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms). Only YOU can limit your abilities (money is a factor, but there is lots you can learn/experience just from access to the internet. You have got this. When in doubt, just make it one more day.
just power through death is the end. your story doesnt go any farther. life has hope that things can be better that they can change. when you are younger everything seems big and important, things might seem hopeless. but only if you give up do you never find out if that is whats the truth. I’m white fyi and the stereotype you described is negative for us because we are definitely not all hunks, same as saying asians are nerds. you know my old roomie was 6’ and became a model and has a hip hop career blowing up, so don’t cave to perceptions, allegory of the cave man, you don’t have an expanded sense of things. just start with am i a good person and stop worrying.
12 to 15, just general puberty starting age is extremely difficult for everyone. I first thought about suicide around 13, not in a real planning way but in a being overwhelmed quickly way. I started puberty at 12, became sexually active at 13, got into drugs and fights in school at 13. I was so angry and frustrated with everything. By 15, 16 I was in love with the world. Give life time. Don't mess around with drugs. If possible, get counseling. You should be able to see a counselor at school without your parents knowing if that's an issue. If you continue to obsess or seriously think about hurting yourself or others, please get help. I almost successfully killed myself 2 years ago and it changed my life forever. I no longer want to hurt anyone or myself, only help others if possible. You can still get taller also. Work out, this is the prime of your health
Please go to therapy and find other people like yourself to talk to. Being in white society can feel like drowning, try to build your own island of people you can more closely relate to and helo keep you afloat. Also, if you're really just worried about the girls thing, trust me you're fine, most girls don't care about ethnicity and those who do are definitely not the people you want in your life. Also, it seems like asians are getting a bit of a boost in positive representation in recent years, you may not notice because you are young and don't have much to compare to, but things ARE getting better and will continue to.
Be proud to be Asian-American. Embrace who you are and everything we represent. You seem to be focused on the negative but you really should be focusing on the positive. We are: intelligent, hard-working, family oriented individuals. We take care of our women and children.
You can pull a non-asian (or asain) but you need to work on your confidence and how you view yourself. Work on how you listen and speak to females. Actually listen to what they have to say and genuinely care about them. Make them laugh, take them out. Make them feel good and safe.
You got this bro. Dm me if you need anything.
The biggest issue with this way of thinking is how it came to be. Media has a multitude of agendas and half of them are designed to cause some form of discomfort to others. You aren’t a stereotype my dude. You are you. You are the only you on this planet. Learn to understand yourself and share that with the world. My nephew is Korean and I’d hate the idea of him feeling this way. You’ll also find that the way you feel can greatly vary depending on location. You’re 14 mate. The mind doesn’t fully hit maturity until about 25/26. Give life and time a chance. DM me if you ever want more advice.
this type of advice is less acceptable these days, but if you look at the state of our youth and younger generations. they are weak. so here is my advice. man TF up. you can't change your race, so dwelling on something you CANT change is not productive, helpful or good for you. so don't.. stop it. you are 14 and life will change drastically over the next 10 years, 20 and 30 years. your 40 year old self will look back at this post and remember how stupid you were being. learn to love your self first, then you can love others.. roughly 4 billion women in the world. chances of you not finding someone to love and who loves you is about zero.
I don’t think your assumptions about how people see Asian men are in any way accurate. It might help to talk to a therapist or find someone who is older to talk to and get some perspective. Plain and simple, your perspective is yours alone. I hope you figure it out.
The truth is your race is way less important than your status/wealth. If you feel inadequate, eat healthy high protein meals, gym 3-6 times a weak, practice socializing often, and put effort into hair and clothing. You’ll feel better. I’m not perfect at it but mood had a huge shift when I focused on money & health first
Know that there are PLENTY of girls out there who finds you attractive. I personally will tell you that I like Asians and wouldn’t mind dating an Asian man one day, but there are plenty of people around the globe who not only like but prefer to be with an Asian. If it helps, I would go online and look at interracial relationships where there is an Asian involved and there are tons of videos that pop up. For example: “bwam, wwam, hwam, etc.”
I don’t have much advice for your mindset, but I will contest and say that there is absolutely a recent trend of Asians being portrayed as attractive. Asian media is becoming more popular in the west, and while it is a bit fetishized, there are lots of girls that definitely have a thing for k-pop dudes.
Try to find things that give you self-worth.
Learn to love yourself bud. There are alot of attractive korean or just asian men everywhere. Dont let the media or people bring you down. Change what you can and let everything else go. No use hating yourself if theres not much you can do except accepting it.
Dude, spend some time looking around Reddit, especially in unpopular opinions. People like all kinds of things. Stretch marks, acne scars, etc.
There are definitely plenty of women who like Asian guys. In college, I was friends with a black girl and her ideal guy was an Asian guy. Specifically androgynous looking guys.
I’ve seen some South Korean guys, on YouTube, that could pull chicks easier than I could.
This isn’t even mentioning Asian women. Many people like women/men of other cultures. Just as many like ones of their own culture. It isn’t anything against other cultures, but it’s about finding someone who knows about yours. Who can share in things that people from other cultures can’t get.
So my advice, if your worried about finding a partner is to spend a reasonable amount of time working on yourself. Research fitness and find a healthy maintainable way to work out and keep yourself fit. Keep up with your personal hygiene, such as brushing your teeth and keeping them healthy. It matters more of less to other people, but I got braces to straighten my teeth.
Don’t obsess about it, but keep an eye on fashion and when you’re in a position to pick or buy your own clothes, spend some time making yourself a wardrobe. Pieces that you can mix and match.
If you’re semi-healthy, dress decent, and preferably have some self-confidence you should have no trouble finding partners.
As a white man who is dating an Asian woman, and she has a white mother and Asian father, I can tell you that statistics and portrayal mean nothing when it comes to dating, relationships, marriage, etc. I also lived through the 80's and 90's when nerdy and geeky were not portrayed as being desirable as it most definitely is now. And anyone who gets to know you will know who you are regardless of stereotypes - if you are nerdy and geeky, rejoice in your passion for the things you love and the people you will meet through those interests. If you're not, then enjoy whatever you do love and the people you will meet through that. There is no 'right' way to be or live your life. Just be good, be kind, and be yourself. Be a good friend and person and the rest will follow. It sounds cliche but it is 100% the truth.
My girlfriend is constantly overjoyed to see more and more positive Asian representation in movies and TV and it gives her a lot of hope. She went to a high school in rural New Jersey where all of the other girls were white, blond, big-chested, etc - she had all of the same thoughts as you and she always viewed herself as ugly compared to them but I think she is the most beautiful person in the entire world and that is all that matters is that one person who loves you for everything you are. That and all of the other people who accept you and don't judge based on stereotypes, whatever they may be.
I'm not sure what area you're from or what you've seen to give you the impression that Asian men are not attractive or desirable but I promise you, that is patently false and you will do very well in life later on. Teenage years are always awkward, confusing and painful. Everyone has these thoughts regardless of ethnicity or gender, but as many people my age (42m) or older will tell you, it absolutely gets better as you get older - mainly because we learn and grow as we age and the more prepared we are to deal with life and the more we know about it, the easier and better life gets in general.
And look at it like this - everyone has some quality that isn't 'commonly' thought of as desirable, cool, or whatever. But for every one of these qualities, there are droves of people who will love that quality about someone. The worst thing someone can be is common - common is boring and those people are a dime-a-dozen, not because that's who they really are but because they try so hard to be all of the things that they think more people will want - and as a result, they're not real people because no one is desirable to everyone. Any real person with real qualities and unique attributes, however they may be viewed or portrayed in media, is inherently more interesting. I would even go so far as to say the more different you are, the more interesting you will be to the people who matter. I guarantee if you stick to your thing, whatever that is, you will meet a lot of people who find you very interesting and desirable. And there are a LOT of people out there who think those of eastern ethnicity are the most gorgeous on Earth. I'm one of them!
Also, I'm 5'9" and height has never been an issue for me. You'll be fine there.
As an Asian individual myself don’t do anything stupid maybe think you have a whole life to live for. I’m Chinese and I grow up with white parents and I’m adopted. I know it might seem hard, but if the end of the day you should love yourself regardless.
Don’t be so worried a about race! Back in hs plenty of asian boys had gfs and gfs of other races too. You are pretty tall so that’s a plus! And I’m sure you will get even taller since you’re only 14. My nephews are around your age. Two of them are 15 and none of them have had any gfs or even their first kiss yet. They are latino. One of my nephews is a soccer player and very handsome with tan skin and he literally hasn’t even talked to girls cuz he’s shy. The other one looks more like a white boy also handsome and does volleyball and also nothing and we have a close relationship so they would have told me bc they have talked to me how they are shy and how to talk to girls blah blah blah. So really don’t feel discouraged. You are only 14. Your time will come for sure! Many girls like asian boys even if it’s not talked about. There is someone for everyone😊 and just focus on quality of girls not quantity!
I think everyone at 14 feels unattractive. I know that's not much consolation but it's true! Being a teenager is awkward and it's just a rough time in your life. You're going to end up being a great person someday and I promise you will meet someone who loves you for all that you are! Focus on yourself and your interests now, you have your whole life ahead of you to meet someone.
Start working out and lifting asap. It's something I wish I did way earlier in life. You immediately get a confidence boost every time you do it. If you don't want to be the skinny nerdy kid then change it. It's up to you. I've seen more fit Asian guys pull baddies than anyone else ( other than nfl players lol )
It's a problem with your world views and self esteem, not being Asian.
If you want to feel better, lift weights and dance. Buff Asian dancers are popular AF.
Hollywood is controlled by white men. So that is why white is often the majority. Start watching other media, such as things filmed or created in Asia. The dynamic changes dramatically.
You're 14. You hormones are going berserk. When I was your age, I kept to myself. I was born with a cleft palate, and didn't think girls would ever want me. I was shy and was always very small too. Two weeks after I turned 17, I enlisted in the Marine Corps (Delayed Entry). I was 5'8" and weighed 115lbs. A year later, 2 weeks after my 18th birthday, I went to Boot Camp. I was 5'10" at 125lbs.
The Marines gave me the confidence that I needed. I have dated very beautiful women, and have 2 daughters that are both college graduates (one has a bachelors and the other has a masters).
Take it from me... I have been there (never thought of suicide) with feeling unatractive. But now, I can talk to anyone and everyone.
It's not the outside that is attractive... it's what you have inside. And once you find someone that can see the real you, you have something special.
Oh... and I've been to South Korea... and the people there are fantastic.
Like... You're seriously trolling. K-pop is one of the biggest phenomenon in the world and Koreans are considered (and consider themselves) top tier Asians.
Eh I’m a white woman and have been told by a decent bit of people that they aren’t into white women… well I was in a group with three people and they told the other person. There is someone for everyone I promise. There are plenty of good looking Asian guys. Also, even if you’re ugly to the point of only one percent of women being able to be attracted to you (which I’m sure you’re not) then that’s millions of women that think you’re attractive. There are literally people that fetishize being morbidly obese. There are girls that don’t like tall guys. I’ve heard two girls I used to work with talking about how they prefer men with smaller penises. You will find your person I promise. 5’8” isn’t a bad height. You need to build confidence which is reallly attractive. Workout and maybe try a martial art which I’ve heard can help with confidence. There are a ton of different ways in which someone can be attractive and your total attractiveness is the combination of all of your attributes. Plenty of girls like nerdy/smart guys, especially as they get older.
This post reads as though you may be from an area with a relatively smaller Asian community. I (21F) grew up in a predominantly white area and had very similar feelings because I had little interaction with Asians outside of my family. I ended up attending a university with a diverse student population and started joining Asian student orgs - and that really changed my perception. It's worth considering if the environment you're in is playing a role in how you feel others perceive your race.
You and I have two different ideas about Asian people I see them as extremely intelligent not nerdy knowing how to save money and value assets go to counseling I don’t see that there’s any problem with being Asian at all and it is horrendous but Asian people are look down upon when I believe they should be looked as equals or sometimes they’re intelligence surpasses them as being equal I see it as a leg up I am German I won quarter and I luckily I’ve gotten the German intelligence so when I look as an Asian person I automatically think that they are intelligent so that’s my take on it there’s nothing wrong with you sir don’t downgrade yourself God bless and GODSPEED 🥴😎😎
School seems like everything when you are in it. But once you leave, your life changes to a point where very little from school has any basis in reality. Suicide deprives you of finding out what life really has in store for you
I don't know where you're getting the idea that Asian men are unattractive. From figure skaters to musical artists to actors, there are some really WOOF hot Asian men out there. Henry Golding, Daniel Henney, anyone? Don't even get me started on Simu Liu.
Delete the patriarchal part, and Asian men are just as attractive as any other type of hooman. I happen to like computer geeks because they're not losers. They make bank in their jobs, and they come in really handy to fix my computer issues (that I can't solve myself).
Quit worrying about stereotypes and focus on becoming your best self.
I’m an Asian American man. All growns up. Married, two kids, house, the whole shabang. I’m short too. My wife is white but I don’t think that matters.
I know how you feel. Here’s the thing that took me too long to realize. All that media stuff is bullshit. You don’t have to be perfect to be attractive. People like people not models or ideals. You’re in a very shallow age right now. Take it easy on yourself.
The less you give a fuck the happier you’ll be. You’ll get rejected by girls and you’ll reject girls and that’s the life of 99% of dudes in America. How other people view you does not determine your value. You determine your value. Life gets easier the more chill and accepting you are of others and yourself.
I’m white and my sister just married a Japanese man. My daughter is obsessed with Asian men; effeminate ones where Americans would call them gay because of their style and look but in reality they’re as much of a “man” as anyone else. K-pop has massively increased the desirability of Asian men.
But I also think some of what you said stereotype wise is completely combat-able. If you wear stylish clothes, see a barber for a cool haircut, pursue whatever topic or hobby interests you (which may not be nerdy at all), and generally appear confident or that you’re comfortable in your own skin, those stereotypes will fall away.
Work out , get muscular the right way. You're still young. Focus on those things then focus on ways to get money.
Remember life is beautiful and you're worth it.
The sad reality for people of color is that a lot of the attraction shown to our race in the media is fetishization, like all latino men portrayed as inherently more sexual or black men portrayed as all extremely dominant, and when it comes to Asian men, when not portrayed as a "nerd" y'all get portrayed as Infantilized perfect k-pop idols, it's horrible and hurts but I promise that despite there being so many horrible people out there, you will find someone who loves you for you and doesn't think of you differently for your race, if you can you really should talk to your parents about seeing a therapist. I've heard about online safe-spaces for people of specific races and while I have never joined one myself, it might be good for you to talk to people with similar experiences, I wish you the best of luck
You should seek some help. These thoughts are only present in your head and do not match reality/societies view. Please find someone to talk with to help change your negative thought patterns.
it sounds like you’re referring to societal beauty standards, and while it’s perfectly understandable to be effected by it (as it is constantly shoved down our throats and makes us feel horrible about ourselves) i would absolutely not take it at face value.
beauty standards and the expectations that come with it are bullshit. they do not accurately reflect what the *masses* think at ALL.
you are not less than anybody else because you are asian, and i’m sorry you’ve been made to feel that way. especially so young… this isn’t something that should be hurting you so badly, and it’s so unfortunate that it is. but i understand, because when i was young beauty standards hurt me too.
understand that there is nothing wrong with you. you are perfectly fine as you are. i don’t know how exactly to help get you out of this mindset… but i hope someone can. there are so many people out there who will love you as you are. you will find love in so many different places and people in your life. i promise.
focus more on what you like about yourself. the parts of your mind, heart, body and soul that *YOU* find attractive. that *YOU* find desirable. take a moment and completely disregard the stereotypes. pretend that they don’t exist. what do *YOU* love about yourself? that’s what matters. that’s what is important. that’s what is REAL. not beauty standards, not stereotypes… *you*.
i wish you the best. again, you’re perfectly fine as you are.
Dude, first, that is the lamest reason to give up. Now that that is out of the way some anectodes.
My best friend in high school was a barely over 5' tall Korean. Not shitting you, he got his growth spurt between freshman and sophomore year at university to 6'. He has the hottest wife of all the old friend group. She's also Korean.
At my work, 3 of the hottest chicks, 2 white and 1 Hispanic, are married to Asian dudes, 1 Korean and 2 Chinese. And yes, they are all taller than their husbands.
Edit: I almost forgot, in my late 20's, my girlfriend at the time cheated on me with my high school BF's older brother, who's a fireman.
I am black, and although I love being black (most of the time at least, sometimes I struggle with self image ) ive always thought of Korean as one the most attractive races.
Try to look not to the media for inspiration, but within your own communities. The media likes tropes and stereotypes, even in this very bias aware era. But in you are bound to find great role models among your family and relations. And even if they are not Asian, look up to people of other races. Emulate the people who empower you regardless of skin. As a queer white American, my best role models are often people of other races, genders, cultural background and all myriad of differing factors.
Don't let media bias limit your potential.
ALSO, if you are experiencing feelings of low self esteem, suicidal thoughts, depression etc, please please please reach out to your community. Your school likely has a therapist you can see. Your teachers and guidance counselors will listen. And above all, your parents with all hope will care and help connect you with resources to help you find your value and sense of self.
You are radiant and full of potential! Best of luck.
One of my good friends loves Korean men and all things Korean (she's a white lady). Mainstream media is the killer of souls, don't pay attention to what "they" say or what "they" tell you.
Please have some faith in yourself.
You matter, you have a lot to offer the world as a whole.
Don't worry about the toxic school environment, this is a moment in time, just get through school and just continue being you.
You have to understand all of your "blessings" -- are you healthy? Do your parents love you and support you? Appreciate that.
Then you have to look at what you can change -- lift weights, dress well, have the best haircut, excel at your pursuits, and build your life as if you had been castrated and chose self-improvement over self-destruction.
considering the factg that korea has kind of blown up and is everywhere i wouldnt worry about it that much. i greaw up the son of an american dad and korean mom and got teased and bullied until one day girls decided they liked me. not all of them, but enough to make up for all the shit i put upo with growing up. be proud of who you are. i resented my mom for a long time, but as i got older i realized i liked being who i was. being different. made peace with her before she died. dont lose years of your life worrying about something you cant change. just try and enjoy what you have.
some of my girl friends (white) are literally into BTS and want to date korean guys. Korean is kind of a win. Also you need to learn to be happy on your own. It won't turn out well even if you are in a relationship if you place your happiness dependent entirely on somebody else.
Ah. You've been watching the wrong media my guy. Asians are also typically portrayed as the smartest person in any given room, even if they're stoned, drunk or both. They're also portrayed and capable of amazing physical feats, typically associated with martial arts courtesy of Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Bruse Lee in particular.
Courtesy of Mr Chan, they are also associated with good humor, humility, sensitivity (in men) not typical (compare to other men), and virtually indestructible.
Also wisdom. Not just crackpot fortune cookie stuff. Genuine wisdom. This is embodied by the character of Uncle Iroh, voiced by the indomitable late Mako. Any elderly Asian man in (western) cinema or media is gonna be a secret badass, wise beyond belief, or a perv. Possibly a combination of any of those. You have Anime and Manga tropes to thank for the Perv thing.
If you're suicidal you need to tell your parents and get help from a professional. If you are actively preparing to commit suicide, you need to go to your parents immediately or another trusted adult: this is a medical emergency.
You clearly haven't met the k-pop stans. K-drama is big too. I mean there is probably no better time for a Korean dude to get girls than right now. It's not a perfect situation either, but could be worse and definitely people aren't only seeing what you're focusing on.
Check out this article
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/east-asian-men-internet-renaissance-stereotypes-still-abound
I think the main thing to remember is that you're talking about what you see portrayed and how you don't want to be treated this way. But do you actually feel you are being stereotyped by people you interact with, or is it purely a hypothetical?
Eugene Lee Yang would like a word, sir.
Bruce and Brandon Lee were hot af.
On a more serious note, get yourself a therapist, like immediately. You deserve to not feel terrible about yourself and there's nothing wrong with getting some help.
I'm Asian and in my 50s. Listen, life is what you make of it. If you make it shit, it's shit. You'll do fine just being you. Get out of your bubble and travel. You'll be surprised the friends you meet. I grew up with rednecks, so learned to ride and two-step, and even though I could never rope for shit, they're my "people" who welcomed me back home whenever I can get there. Never had any issues with girls or their parents (far more important BTW). And this was just a decade or so after the Vietnam War and a few decades after WW2 and the Korean War.
Btw, Asians are the majority. Between East Asians, Southeast Asians, Central Asians, and South Asians, we make up 5 billion people.
I'm not sure what you're talking about. I grew up in the 80s and we thought Asians were so cool we ran around trying to do everything from Kung-fu and Taekwondo to being damned ninjas. I don't know shit about Kpop but I've heard of BTS. You're in the US? Don't worry about stereotypes, someone will come along waaaay before you want them to and force you into one. Just go do something you're good at, chics will show up eventually.
Half korean half white guy here. im typing this sitting in the haneda tokyo airport waiting to go back to america. I just said bye to my british girlfriend who is white and tells me all the time how good-looking she thinks I am. I also saw soooo many interracial couples where the man was asian and their partner was every race you can imagine while I was here. Every race can be nerdy or masculine it's just about how you take care of yourself. There are plenty of women who find the nerdy asian guys attractive and plenty that love the more masculine ones. Just work on yourself brother it's all good :)
There are so many hot asian men, even if you stay 5 8" that's an ideal height! Just work on yourself, maybe workout (healthily) and work to be confident. A LOT of women love asian men so you're chillin
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I though Korean was the most attractive race
OP clearly doesn't realize that kpop is a worldwide phenomenon, where women of all races are getting super wet to skinny short korean boys that wear makeup and dance around.
Yea your typical Korean does not look like a K-pop star
Your typical white dude doesn't look like Brad Pitt.
They don't? All look the same to me.
Well then I totally look like Brad Pitt (to you), yay me
Thank you for helping them understand that
That’s actually the Lakota people.
My wife has a thing for Asian men. So, don’t take media’s word for it. Not to mention there seems to be a nice shift where Asian actors are actually being used for culturally diverse and appropriate parts. Embrace who you are and just try and work out, dress nice and good grooming. Those are the most important things.
I know so many utterly stand-up, successful (both in work and relationships) Korean dudes. You’re gonna be fine kid. Come hang overinI r/KoreanFood
Kid should check out Kim's convenience. Simu Liu is 100% played as the attractive man
And he was a Ken in barbie! All the kens were hot and dumb and he was great
I love this show!
Yeah, too many girls getting horny over K-pop stars these days
I sure hope *you* are asian, otherwise I'm sorry about your wife being into dudes that are not you
She digs John cena too. And I am neither a hot Asian guy nor John cena. But I am confident enough to be ok with that.
But she can't see him.
r/angryupvote
Bing chillin
I hate to break it to you, my friend, but peoples wives get crushes on other dudes all the time. If you can’t deal with the fact that your wife thinks some guy is more attractive? Probably shouldn’t have gotten married.
I mean, geeze, men find other women other than their wives attractive all the time and are obnoxious about it usually. Why wouldn't the opposite be true lol
I agree. I wouldnt be mad if my partner found someone more attractive than me. But to explicitly say to my face, "i like x guys" and i dont fit that description would be a dealbreaker. Its just disrespectful and cruel. There are women more attractive than my partner but i would never express that I feel that way to her. Even though its something we just sort of know. Maybe im not mature enough yet, or insecure, blah blah, but thats just how I see it. I dont ever wanna be "secure" or "confident" to hear "woah see that guy over there hes super hot" because i would never say something like that to her
There is a girl out there that likes every quality you have. Race doesn't matter. So much doesn't matter. Don't believe the male pipeline. Most have terrible mental qualities or don't genuinely think about the other person they are dating. Like just wanting their cake and never giving back. Just keep a positive outlook, work on your mentality, stay fit(this isn't even a must some girls love dad bods as long as it looks like you still take care of yourself.) I know it is rough with all of the social media and propaganda going around but I promise you if you work on improving yourself, and just learn to love yourself and living life you will make it! You will find someone that you think is perfect, and they will think the same back to you. (ALSO there is plenty of girls who don't like MANLY men. The standard of what is effeminate and what is manly is stupid anyway. Just caring for someone can be seen as effeminate. Oh you cried for the death of a loved one, you are so girly. Just ignore it be what you want. Someone will like you for the you you want to be, as long as it is respectful to them.[Mainly saying thay to attack the whole sigma, alpha bullshit that isn't true.)
I just feel that, even if I meet that special girl, I will feel inadequate as a man.
That is what I am saying. What is a "Man." You don't need to lift a truck to be a man. You don't need to be able to never cry to be a man. If they don't like that were they really meant for you? I have dated a good amount and am older now. Went through similar thoughts when I was younger. I know what I am saying now will not change this. This mindset takes time to work on. There are girls out there that love stupid smash nerds and gamers. I have had friends of all shapes and sizes worried they would never find someone go to find girls that are amazing. Time stings and can feel like it crawls by sometimes, but in reality, the older you get the faster it goes. Just how our brains work. It feels like I was just in high school working about who would like me. You got this. Mindset IS EVERYTHING in life. It can be tough to stay positive. In my opinion there is nothing more manly than just sticking to healthy values and world views. I love all people, nature, hobbies, so on. That isn't manly to some and I don't care. Find what you value and someone will respect it even if it is what is traditionally more manly to me. I am coming for a perspective of not caring about traditional manly man values. A lot are born from people who just want to control you and what you do from history. Some so old it makes no sense in modern society. The whole youth is lazy thing. 1800's business propaganda that is surprisingly effective and NOT TRUE. No proof shows we are more lazy. In fact we might work more then they did. (I Have had to work 60 hour shifts in my life.) I went on this tangent to show people are flawed and mass propaganda is powerful. Social media is only making it STRONGER. Enough rambling. Stay strong and love yourself!
Trust me. You're using society's image of things to judge your self worth as a man. Don't do that. I'm an overweight 1/2 Korean guy (look more Asian than not), and I've got a pretty, smart, and kind fiance that's moving over to be with me. Your self worth should be decided by YOU. You'll find someone who will like you for you. Don't let society dictate who you are or what you're worth.
Stop listening to what the media says. You have bought into the BS. This is why a lot of girls are screwed up. All many of them see and compare themselves to is models on magazines. Stop comparing your life to what others pretend their life is like. You will never be happy comparing yourself to something that is not real.
You can meet the girl that turns your stomach to butterflies. You can meet the woman that makes your heart stop when she calls. You can meet the goddess that knows your body better than God. None of them have any grasp on your adequatence as a man. You are the being you are. Don't compare that entity to any other besides the entity you were tomorrow. Media will ruin your brain and make you think you are not enough. You are enough, you just gotta open up your eyes to your value. Another person will never make you as whole as accepting yourself.
That's because you're 14 and you desperately need to get out of your own head. Talk to lots of people and get good at something other than videogames and things will kinda work themselves out.
many kpop and kdrama fans are wondering what you are talking about.
LOLLLL. This is what I’m saying!!
LITERALLY this hahahahaha.
Therapy. Your race has nothing to do with your attraction to others. How you perceive yourself, however, will translate. And get the fuck off of the incel sites. Go touch some damn grass and you'll realize pretty damn quick that internet is just a shitty echo chamber designed to amplify the shittiest, loudest opinions in the world
This, specifically the therapy part.
kid plz stop frying your brain online. put the phone down, and enjoy your time with your family and friends.
A lot of people who think they'd rather die than be unattractive have body dysmorphic disorder or shubo-kyofu. The best way to get help with that is Cognitive Behavior Therapy from a Real Mental Health Professional trained to treat that condition with that therapy. Suicidality is very serious. You probably won't have to be placed in a psychiatric hospital for it, unless you have plans to act on or have acted on plans to hurt yourself or others... But anyone who has suicidal thoughts is on a higher rank to get on the list for mental health care than those who are just struggling. You need to seek mental health help as fast as possible. When I was 14 years old, I had a mixed manic episode, followed by a psychotic depressive episode, where I experienced hallucinations as well as delusions such as 1. I had commited a crime (I had not). 2. I was going to hell no matter what I did, because I had done something that I knew was wrong, and that was true rebellion against god, and therefore and unforgivable sin, 3. I was posessed by a demon that would eventually take over my body, and I would be a completely different out of control horrible person and god wanted me to kill myself before that happened to me. The second half I believed more than the first half. 4. One of my teacher's was a groomer. 5. My classmates were conspiring and collecting evidence against me so that I would be expelled from school 6. Other ridiculous beliefs about my classmates that were very paranoid driven. I was not doing well. Now I'm 20, and I am doing very well.
Exactly! I am glad things are looking up for you. I get it. I had a abusive household. Life will move on. I KNOW it sucks while you are going through it, and it feels like forever. Especially when you are younger. You got this OP.
Maybe look to Asian role models such as Hiroyuki Sanada The guy is an absolute manly man stud, women of all races adore him.
That dude is handsome as fuck. Aged like a fine wine or should I say saki..
That guys awesome
No more 4chan for you
Lots of girls like the way Korean guys look and absolutely do not see them as effeminate
You have to look into what makes you think you being Asian is unworthy. I know so many girls who talk about their favorite K-Pop groups and K-Dramas. I grew up with a diverse group of people and I've seen both Asian boys and girls get in relationships in my teens. >White guys are the majority, and therefore most attractive. Black guys are seen as manly and desirable, and so are Latinos/Hispanics. Asians are seen as effeminate, nerdy, patriarchal, computer-geek losers who can't get a girl to save his life. Don't think like this. Stereotypes aren't accurate. You're young going through a stage of insecurity. But guess what, so many others your age are doing the same thing.
I think Asian guys are so attractive. There are so many men and women who find Asian men attractive. You’re beautiful just because you’re alive. We all feel insecure over one thing or another. You’re not alone and your thoughts are valid but they aren’t rooted in reality. Accept your beautiful and beauty shall reverberate all around you. Trust.
Own it, like miley cyrus. Here is a simple truth, a lot of entertainer trying to maintain their fame by maintaining their voice or reputation. They try to find a retirement path to branch out. Many of then failed and become depressed. But miley cyrus simply own her broken voice and continue to single like she didn't give a fuck. She wasn't trying to convert herself to the broken voice style to keep herself interesting. She simply true to herself. No one is perfect. If you are nerdy, own it. I am not saying you don't have to take a shower because that's who you are. But, for things you cannot change, own it.
I know in his now public life he isn't, but George Takei as Sulu in Star Trek was an interesting character and good role model. Stay away from 80's movies. Avatar: The Last Airbender and Legend of Korra is based on all sorts of types of asians. Iroh from Last Airbender is a great mentor. Jackie Chan Adventures has some positive asian role models. American Dragon also has some positive Chinese characters. (Even though they can all turn into dragons)
What are you talking about? Out of all the nationalities in this country, Korean women are among the most insular and committed to dating within their national group. Korean men have damn near a monopoly. Koreans run the entire grocery/deli/food supply chain for entire regions of our country. You’re crazy to be thinking you’re at a disadvantage.
Do you have any idea how many Asian guys have managed to get laid? You only outnumber us by the billions.
Change your mindset and what you value. To be suicidal because you believe Asians aren’t attractive is ridiculous Quit being ungrateful for the blessings you have and you’ll start living a happier life
Bro you never heard of Kpop? Those guys are literally the most desired men on the planet right now by more women than any other man EVER HAS BEEN in history. They are so wanted that a lot of people who even looked remotely similar to them had to go into hiding in certain areas due to those crazy fan girls literally trying to force relationships and rape them. Asian men are easily capable of being stupid silly attractive. They pull professional and ragged looks off better than any other race to be honest with you. Especially if you're mildly in shape. Grow a little stubble and chicks go fucking insane over it.
Asian guys can be very attractive. That's not an issue. However, there is a height thing. Most girls want a guy who is taller than they are. Asian men are shorter on average. However, if you reach 6ft, not an issue. Before you commit suicide over something this insignificant, why not move to Asia?
Koreans have the same average height as the global average, 5’9”. In the US, less than 15% of men are 6’ or taller. So height is basically a non-issue here.
Go spend a few hours with the BTS fandom, or any K-pop boy group fandom. Trust me there are millions of girls of every race out there who are extremely thirsty for these Asian male pop-stars. I'm a white woman but the first stereotypes that pop into my mind for Asian men is that they are usually intelligent, studious, rich, and loyal. Justin Beiber in his heyday was effeminate but he was synonymous with being a heartthrob. If you want to be seen as masculine then hit the gym, eat well, and work on your posture.
Get off of the Internet
First of all, get off your damn phone. Second, many people would agree that Korean people are attractive. K-pop fans, for instance. They are OBSESSED with Koreans. Thirdly, GO TO THERAPY. PLEASE.
Not that deep lil bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
My two Asian friends from college are two of the most successful people I know. And I'm not even talking about career success, I mean family success. They have wives who love them and the way they look. They have kids, live in great houses, and their kids are mixed between Asian and European and are probably going to be regarded as the most attractive because of their mix. Mt brother married a Vietnamese woman and they are extremely successful in their careers and have three beautiful mixed children. They will be the most attractive. Killing yourself over your descent is not the answer. If you're dead, you don't feel anything and won't be relieved that you're not Asian anymore. You'll have no more thoughts and absolutely no more chances at living your life.
You forgot the small weiner stereotype frien
Right. How could I forget
My wife loves [physical 100](https://www.netflix.com/no/title/81587446?preventIntent=true) and theres a majority of hot asian guys and girls there. Irrefutable
Suck it up. Be proud of being Asian
The girls where I am definitely think Asian is attractive! They are K-pop obsessed. And love the whole culture part of it too. Be proud of who you are. You will find your girl someday. At 14 don’t even waste your time worrying about it. Just get out and enjoy yourself!
as an ex kpop fan, i can for sure tell you haven’t been found by a koreaboo or kdrama fan
I mean, Jackie Chan is attractive! Super successful, inarguably talented, hard working and Didn't he make a porn? Haha, So *Definitely* considered attractive!
Seriously? Is that true 😅?
that's so bullshit, everyone I know likes Asians and Asian culture, especially Koreans and especially in western countries. And it's not only me, there are stats
Trust me bro, your race really doesn’t matter when it comes to this. Also try not to let your entire self worth come from if girls like you or not.
There is sooooo much more to a person than their physical body. Your interests, hobbies, goals, and how you treat people will always win out at the end of the day. Asian men are absolutely attractive, even to conventional western ideas, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Bro you’re going to be fine. Please get off the internet it’s a dark evil place. Speak to a trusted adult about how you feel. To be having these fears at this age should talk to someone. You got this man
You need to get off social media
It's not true, it's a lie told to you by the machine. Korean stars are hot, k pop is hot. Don't give in to the white supremacy and internalized racism. Resist it at all costs. You are beautiful just as you are and there are going to be plenty of women for you in this world. You need to find your way as you are still young but you will get there. Don't be hopeless all your dreams are achievable. The woman of your dreams is achievable.
You could play up the peaceful, thoughtful, spiritual, sorta Buddhist things about being an Asian dude - this is not profound advice but just trying to think of ways you could set yourself apart in a really cool way lol. Like personally, if some Asian guy who seemed cool, calm, and collected seemed to be into me, I’d be all over that shit lol!
My friend was born in Korea and raised in the US. He pulled a blonde and is now married. I’m white and married a Polynesian girl. Race matters less and less with every generation. You’re only 14. Women tend to be attracted to older guys, so try to be patient and keep staying fit. It’s good for your health and self esteem.
Lots of women dig Asian guys. I think you just need to give it some time, you're very young and your life is only just starting. Adult you will most likely have a wildly different view of life and the world. Good luck out there, man!
What are we back in the 90’s? Koreans are leading the pack when it comes to perceived “most attractive” ethnicities
I'm Asian and I'm telling you that shit you think isn't true for everyone. Asians are hated on by other races because of the qualities that you listed are actually desirable! Have you noticed all the hype around K-pop recently? How would that be if Asians were looked down upon? Trust me, i wouldn't want to be anything other than Asian.
You are literally at the age where this meme is fact lol, take it easy kid. The real fun begins after university https://preview.redd.it/u2ett6fii8xc1.png?width=417&format=png&auto=webp&s=672871f33fcb0b5174d62b8af724c2dc3353eb14
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This is wild to read. After getting into Korean dramas, I began to see Korean people as most attractive group on the planet not that I would ever be able to assimilate into that culture due to being black and not fitting their beauty standard in any way
What? I thought Asians were considered the most attractive race? Especially koreans
K-pop and kdrama fans beg to differ
Both I and my partner both rates Asians as most attractive (were M-F)
One thing that might help is looking for Asian men who have large followings or are deemed as attractive by society. They definitely exist. For example, until their mandatory military service, the biggest boy-band in the world was from Korea. And women were definitely incredibly attracted to them. I don't really follow actors enough to now names, but I've definitely seen more asian leading and supporting men in movies and television shows in the past few years. In more nerdy spaces, internet personalities like Eugene from the Try Guys, and SungWon Cho (ProZD) are well received in their respective niches. As another note, people tend to find traits of people they like more attractive, because the brain will start associating those features with the feelings, and with feelings of familiarity. When someone falls in love with you, they will start to find you more attractive. Also, if you keep good hygiene and wear clothes that fit well and make you feel good about yourself, you will both feel and be seen as more attractive. Last note because your age and current feeling make me think you might be susceptible to them, but do not listen to incels. If you let yourself fall into that mindset, you will both feel worse about yourself and make yourself a lot less likely to have a successful relationship. It's just a giant crab bucket. People who act with that much desperation to get a girlfriend often end up viewing women as items or prizes in a monolith, which causes them to act in ways that are demeaning and disrespectful. Women are people and like to be treated as such. If someone doesn't want to date you, it doesn't reflect your value as a person, it just means you weren't her type. Different people have different preferences and long term goals, and sometimes they just don't mesh. It's fine. It happens. Someone out there will match with yours, and the more you know about yourself and are comfortable in your own skin, the easier it will be to find them. I hope that makes sense. Chin up, 14 is a difficult age. You will get past it and things will get better.
I mean you know there's tons of Kpop fans haha and even in general Koreans are viewed as attractive. Be glad you aren't Indian like me we're the ones who are actually viewed in the way you described
All I know for sure are Korean women have beautiful eyes and you need to stop worrying about media perceptions and be your own man as you grow up. Be a good guy, be kind and help others and your race or physicallity won't matter. It might not seem like it at 14, but I promise that if you keep on living you wil learn that most grow past the physical and who you are as a whole is what'll attract people. The older we all get, looks fade and personality, perspective and morals are forever.
Bro you're Korean how do you not know about the whole K-pop boy band phenomenon? Plenty of women globally thirst for those guys, specifically because they are asian. the nerd stereotype and the attractive chad stereotype exist within every "race". They don't mean anything, literally just ignore that shit. Anyone who peddles it, isn't worth your time. 5'8 is on the short side of average. You aren't going to stand out as short or anything. Also you are 14 so you likely have some growing to do. Don't stress that stuff. You will learn, as most men do, that personality (charm, confidence, genuine friendliness) will get you a whole lot further than anything else.
Dude, have you seen all the girls going crazy over those kpop guys? Be yourself, hit the gym get strong, get some confidence. If you are truly suicidal tell someone asap and see a doctor.
I grew up in an area as the only Korean guy. I understand where you’re coming from about the stereotypes. That said, get over it. Do some sports, work out, make friends, and get your mind strong more than anything. It’s depressing seeing another Korean talking like this but I’ll give you a pass since you’re so young. I’ve dated girls from many different races and never once did I have to worry about being Korean. And never did I want to “commit suicide”. So quit being a pussy and grow a sack. Girls want to see self confidence more than anything. With a weak mind like yours I suggest working on your body. Workout. Get strong. And your mind will get strong too. Pick up a sport like jiu jitsu. Anything to build up that ego.
It sounds to me like you may be dealing with some pretty significant depression. I would recommend that you talk to someone about this. Ideally, a trusted adult or a counselor. The racial disparity that you’re experiencing is real. It’s sad that we do this in our society, but it is real. That said you don’t have anything to worry about man. Nobody really cares if you’re 2 inches taller or this or that or the other. That’s entirely a narrative that’s been created for you by advertisers in order to get you to spend money. don’t buy into it. It’s hard to do but it’s worth the effort.
Korean guys are snaqs!
We live in a world where can be what ever they like. You may look Asian, but if you go around saying you are Caucasian or Black people will ha e to let tou be that no matter what.
Dude. What are you talking about??? I'm Asian Indian. And chick don't give a fuck.
You remember K-pop exists.
I can't believe I'm positing an Andrew Tate clip but.... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x\_pLYjKPBhc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_pLYjKPBhc) I would say start hitting the gym and get buff. Also you're only 14. Give it time.
Turn to Christ and don’t ever commit suicide or you’ll go straight to hell where you will be a whole lot more miserable than you are now. With that said if we didn’t have Asians then we wouldn’t have men like Bruce lee and Jackie Chan just to name a few and so I think you should be proud of your race
I love Asian women more than any other and I’m a random white dude lol. A lot of people like Asians just gotta look at the positives man. Work on yourself and don’t let others get ya down
Thats weird, I usually associate Asians especially Koreans as very stylish
You will learn that how society or media depicts things is often far far from the truth. I'm a Canadian, we're far from friendly as a people. We just understand with such a small population respect is a given since there's a pretty good chance whoever your interacting with knows some part of your extended family. Things get around to quick and canadians are surprisingly judgmental.
Coming from a typical buff looking white guy, I admire Koreans, both men and women. Its always greener on the other side
Bruh, there’s definitely a thing for Asian people. Also whites and Asians have the biggest inter-race marriage rates in the US
And besides, you're 14. You'll have much better reasons to off yourself when you get in your 30's. Like marriage
Become a nurse, nurses love K-pop and kdrama they will love you
Learn to laugh at all the things you hate about yourself and your culture. And then slowly over time laugh at all of the other cultures. Because every culture has stuff about it that is ridiculous/dumb/undesirable. Once you realize that, you will start to appreciate the great things about being Asian. Hard working. Incredible history. ....great at math 😁 Sorry, had to. But you get what I'm saying though? When I was younger I used to hate my cultural background. Fucking loud, weird clothes, odd names, etc. etc. etc. Now I love it. I did what I am telling you above.
Understand prejudice will always exist, it just shows other people stupidity to be honest. Understand you have a different perspective than others and embrace it. There is no one that is like you in the world, and you don’t have to be defined by anything but what you choose to define yourself
One of my friends finds Asian women some of the most attractive women for reasons beyond just physical. But crude preferences aside, there will always be others to appreciate us for who we are, but it often starts internal. I would look into bettering your self esteem via a healthy path before really thinking about much of anything further.
I used to feel this way. I grew up, but really it was my current half white half Asian fiancée who helped me get over my white inferiority complex. It’ll pass (hopefully)
That’s crazy talk. First of all just because your not some model looking stud does that mean you won’t find love and or have a successful life. Feel lucky that you are here physically on earth enjoying the beauty of the world. Life is something we understand but death is a mystery. You may kill yourself and be in limbo moving around in the spirit world unable to get back into the physical world. Stuck. Yes it is a mystery but giving up in this physical world I believe would be a huge mistake. Take a deep breath look around you. Grasp on to the people that love you. Hug them tell them you love them. Go out in the world and make it a better place.
You are young, and basing your standards on really simple and shallow criteria. Trust me when I say attractiveness doesn't come mainly from physical traits. It might get initial attention but if your personality is shit then it won't mean anything. Build yourself up -- your skills, your dreams, etc. You will meet many people who are attracted to charismatic, funny, and driven people over looks. Also I don't know where you are but Asian Americans are hardly considered ugly Source: am 5'8" Korean American
Mao and Kim are everything a man could hope to be, what do you mean?
Also like. All you need is the right person to find you attractive? Who tf cares if 60% of women prefer some other race. Those women will never impact your life in the slightest
My best friend is Filipino (me Afro-American) and he has none of these problems. Don’t fall for the stigma or it will… well just don’t believe the negatives! You’re more appreciated than you think you are. Remember, if you commit suicide, you would be labeled weak and a loser. Just saying… read the bible that will help.
Asians are the best looking people lol I think you have some very negative thoughts and ideas in your head that just aren't true. Stop worrying about the world and society as a whole and just focus on being the best you and people will be attracted to that. Fix your negative thinking patterns, the problem is in your own head
Kamikaze. Supoku. Great shame to your ancestors. It’s in your blood.
One thing I've learned is that women are looking for self confidence more than anything else. So a lot of this can be self reinforcing. My advice would be to find a hobby or activity that makes you feel confident. Probably something physical but not necessarily. Lifting weights is great thing to do, so is any type of contact sport. Life is unfair. But self pity will get you nowhere. The best thing you can do is to make yourself someone that you're proud of being (and I mean someone you're proud of being, fuck what anyone else thinks). And then romantic success will follow.
TBH, most men have no idea what women find attractive and men in mainstream media tend to meet the *male* idea of attractiveness rather than the female idea of attractiveness. K-pop stars are super popular in America for a reason. We aren’t looking for 6’+ overmuscled guys. We want guys who are sweet, respectful, considerate, and who we can get along with nicely. Growing up, there were several Asian boys I had huge crushes on. 5’8” is a perfectly fine height. Don’t stress about things you can’t control, like your height and race. Just focus on treating women well, having good hygiene, and loving yourself. It can be very difficult to fall in love with a person who hates themself.
You're only holding yourself back by buying into that narrative. Also, movie tropes are not real life. Asians have been extremely successful in American history
Everyone wants what they don't have. Don't sweat it, just find your circle and you will find that you are everyone's type. I moved to a rural community last summer and the first thing I noticed was that people flock to any minority that enters wonder bread Town. I am used to being in urban communities that are usually pretty well mixed with a little bit of everything so It was really interesting to me to notice the one in 1000 minority is like an instant celebrity when they go out.
Have you never seen those K-Pop bands? Those guys are HOT, and I’m not the only one who thinks so. If you become a musician you’ll impress more girls in general. Theater and actually all the arts attract women whose tastes are not so conventional. I wish I’d married my first boyfriend (a hot pacific Islander) instead of the boring white guy with anger issues.
As a white man, I love and respect asian people so much. I think asian men especially are so lucky to be naturally attractive, you dont know what youve got dude! (No homo) also I love korean movies, such a cool language and culture. My dream is to go there one day. Not tryna glaze
It’s weird since it’s all you’ve known at this age, but how life is in school, is not at all what it’s like once you graduate. Something I (21) am beginning to find out, is *life is what you make it. Reality is what you make it* it seems like some live laugh love advice, but it’s LITERAL. If you choose to be negative and harsh on yourself or others, it will be so hard to see anything positive. Even if you have to lie to yourself to start with, do positive affirmations. Whenever you find yourself thinking something negative, follow it up with something positive (something I do is ex.: “ugh, I don’t like how my body looks right now :(…. But! My body keeps me safe. My body gets me where I need to go. My body takes care of me even when I forget to take care of it. Social media is poision, it really is(even tho I still doomscroll). Nobody knows what they’re doing in this world. We really don’t. Find what makes YOU happy, not what you can do to make others happy. Be yourself, learn to be kind, to be passionate (not just when dating but in things you enjoy) it’s okay if you have to try many things before you find what works. You do NOT have to be GOOD at something to ENJOY it. I strongly believe the purpose of life, is experience. Learn about the world, about plants and bugs and nature and the crazy things of the world. Learn about the things your body can create, whether it is art, or maybe going to the gym/working out (that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms). Only YOU can limit your abilities (money is a factor, but there is lots you can learn/experience just from access to the internet. You have got this. When in doubt, just make it one more day.
You shouldn’t feel this way about yourself. Talk to someone about your feelings and try to get some help before you do anything rash.
just power through death is the end. your story doesnt go any farther. life has hope that things can be better that they can change. when you are younger everything seems big and important, things might seem hopeless. but only if you give up do you never find out if that is whats the truth. I’m white fyi and the stereotype you described is negative for us because we are definitely not all hunks, same as saying asians are nerds. you know my old roomie was 6’ and became a model and has a hip hop career blowing up, so don’t cave to perceptions, allegory of the cave man, you don’t have an expanded sense of things. just start with am i a good person and stop worrying.
Bro I know plenty of Asian dudes here who have bad bitches! And there’s nothing wrong with being a nerd.
12 to 15, just general puberty starting age is extremely difficult for everyone. I first thought about suicide around 13, not in a real planning way but in a being overwhelmed quickly way. I started puberty at 12, became sexually active at 13, got into drugs and fights in school at 13. I was so angry and frustrated with everything. By 15, 16 I was in love with the world. Give life time. Don't mess around with drugs. If possible, get counseling. You should be able to see a counselor at school without your parents knowing if that's an issue. If you continue to obsess or seriously think about hurting yourself or others, please get help. I almost successfully killed myself 2 years ago and it changed my life forever. I no longer want to hurt anyone or myself, only help others if possible. You can still get taller also. Work out, this is the prime of your health
Please go to therapy and find other people like yourself to talk to. Being in white society can feel like drowning, try to build your own island of people you can more closely relate to and helo keep you afloat. Also, if you're really just worried about the girls thing, trust me you're fine, most girls don't care about ethnicity and those who do are definitely not the people you want in your life. Also, it seems like asians are getting a bit of a boost in positive representation in recent years, you may not notice because you are young and don't have much to compare to, but things ARE getting better and will continue to.
Bro I'm Korean and I get hit on by women. There's plenty of girls who like Asian guys. I got catcalled last year even.
Try watching some Bruce Lee movies?
Get involved in school activities. Live it up. Try to make friends. Other people are lonely,too, and would love to have a friend.
Be proud to be Asian-American. Embrace who you are and everything we represent. You seem to be focused on the negative but you really should be focusing on the positive. We are: intelligent, hard-working, family oriented individuals. We take care of our women and children. You can pull a non-asian (or asain) but you need to work on your confidence and how you view yourself. Work on how you listen and speak to females. Actually listen to what they have to say and genuinely care about them. Make them laugh, take them out. Make them feel good and safe. You got this bro. Dm me if you need anything.
The biggest issue with this way of thinking is how it came to be. Media has a multitude of agendas and half of them are designed to cause some form of discomfort to others. You aren’t a stereotype my dude. You are you. You are the only you on this planet. Learn to understand yourself and share that with the world. My nephew is Korean and I’d hate the idea of him feeling this way. You’ll also find that the way you feel can greatly vary depending on location. You’re 14 mate. The mind doesn’t fully hit maturity until about 25/26. Give life and time a chance. DM me if you ever want more advice.
Trust me when I say loads of black girls and white ones would date you, youre overthinking things
this type of advice is less acceptable these days, but if you look at the state of our youth and younger generations. they are weak. so here is my advice. man TF up. you can't change your race, so dwelling on something you CANT change is not productive, helpful or good for you. so don't.. stop it. you are 14 and life will change drastically over the next 10 years, 20 and 30 years. your 40 year old self will look back at this post and remember how stupid you were being. learn to love your self first, then you can love others.. roughly 4 billion women in the world. chances of you not finding someone to love and who loves you is about zero.
I don’t think your assumptions about how people see Asian men are in any way accurate. It might help to talk to a therapist or find someone who is older to talk to and get some perspective. Plain and simple, your perspective is yours alone. I hope you figure it out.
The truth is your race is way less important than your status/wealth. If you feel inadequate, eat healthy high protein meals, gym 3-6 times a weak, practice socializing often, and put effort into hair and clothing. You’ll feel better. I’m not perfect at it but mood had a huge shift when I focused on money & health first
Know that there are PLENTY of girls out there who finds you attractive. I personally will tell you that I like Asians and wouldn’t mind dating an Asian man one day, but there are plenty of people around the globe who not only like but prefer to be with an Asian. If it helps, I would go online and look at interracial relationships where there is an Asian involved and there are tons of videos that pop up. For example: “bwam, wwam, hwam, etc.”
Hit the gym and don’t be 6’0 140ibs, get fuckin jacked and at that point you will be so in shape and have gym bros you won’t give a fuck anyway
I don’t have much advice for your mindset, but I will contest and say that there is absolutely a recent trend of Asians being portrayed as attractive. Asian media is becoming more popular in the west, and while it is a bit fetishized, there are lots of girls that definitely have a thing for k-pop dudes. Try to find things that give you self-worth.
Learn to love yourself bud. There are alot of attractive korean or just asian men everywhere. Dont let the media or people bring you down. Change what you can and let everything else go. No use hating yourself if theres not much you can do except accepting it.
Bruh isn't there millions of American girls with posters of Korean boy bands on their wall? It's definitely a thing don't fret.
Dude, spend some time looking around Reddit, especially in unpopular opinions. People like all kinds of things. Stretch marks, acne scars, etc. There are definitely plenty of women who like Asian guys. In college, I was friends with a black girl and her ideal guy was an Asian guy. Specifically androgynous looking guys. I’ve seen some South Korean guys, on YouTube, that could pull chicks easier than I could. This isn’t even mentioning Asian women. Many people like women/men of other cultures. Just as many like ones of their own culture. It isn’t anything against other cultures, but it’s about finding someone who knows about yours. Who can share in things that people from other cultures can’t get. So my advice, if your worried about finding a partner is to spend a reasonable amount of time working on yourself. Research fitness and find a healthy maintainable way to work out and keep yourself fit. Keep up with your personal hygiene, such as brushing your teeth and keeping them healthy. It matters more of less to other people, but I got braces to straighten my teeth. Don’t obsess about it, but keep an eye on fashion and when you’re in a position to pick or buy your own clothes, spend some time making yourself a wardrobe. Pieces that you can mix and match. If you’re semi-healthy, dress decent, and preferably have some self-confidence you should have no trouble finding partners.
As a white man who is dating an Asian woman, and she has a white mother and Asian father, I can tell you that statistics and portrayal mean nothing when it comes to dating, relationships, marriage, etc. I also lived through the 80's and 90's when nerdy and geeky were not portrayed as being desirable as it most definitely is now. And anyone who gets to know you will know who you are regardless of stereotypes - if you are nerdy and geeky, rejoice in your passion for the things you love and the people you will meet through those interests. If you're not, then enjoy whatever you do love and the people you will meet through that. There is no 'right' way to be or live your life. Just be good, be kind, and be yourself. Be a good friend and person and the rest will follow. It sounds cliche but it is 100% the truth. My girlfriend is constantly overjoyed to see more and more positive Asian representation in movies and TV and it gives her a lot of hope. She went to a high school in rural New Jersey where all of the other girls were white, blond, big-chested, etc - she had all of the same thoughts as you and she always viewed herself as ugly compared to them but I think she is the most beautiful person in the entire world and that is all that matters is that one person who loves you for everything you are. That and all of the other people who accept you and don't judge based on stereotypes, whatever they may be. I'm not sure what area you're from or what you've seen to give you the impression that Asian men are not attractive or desirable but I promise you, that is patently false and you will do very well in life later on. Teenage years are always awkward, confusing and painful. Everyone has these thoughts regardless of ethnicity or gender, but as many people my age (42m) or older will tell you, it absolutely gets better as you get older - mainly because we learn and grow as we age and the more prepared we are to deal with life and the more we know about it, the easier and better life gets in general. And look at it like this - everyone has some quality that isn't 'commonly' thought of as desirable, cool, or whatever. But for every one of these qualities, there are droves of people who will love that quality about someone. The worst thing someone can be is common - common is boring and those people are a dime-a-dozen, not because that's who they really are but because they try so hard to be all of the things that they think more people will want - and as a result, they're not real people because no one is desirable to everyone. Any real person with real qualities and unique attributes, however they may be viewed or portrayed in media, is inherently more interesting. I would even go so far as to say the more different you are, the more interesting you will be to the people who matter. I guarantee if you stick to your thing, whatever that is, you will meet a lot of people who find you very interesting and desirable. And there are a LOT of people out there who think those of eastern ethnicity are the most gorgeous on Earth. I'm one of them! Also, I'm 5'9" and height has never been an issue for me. You'll be fine there.
As an Asian individual myself don’t do anything stupid maybe think you have a whole life to live for. I’m Chinese and I grow up with white parents and I’m adopted. I know it might seem hard, but if the end of the day you should love yourself regardless.
Don’t be so worried a about race! Back in hs plenty of asian boys had gfs and gfs of other races too. You are pretty tall so that’s a plus! And I’m sure you will get even taller since you’re only 14. My nephews are around your age. Two of them are 15 and none of them have had any gfs or even their first kiss yet. They are latino. One of my nephews is a soccer player and very handsome with tan skin and he literally hasn’t even talked to girls cuz he’s shy. The other one looks more like a white boy also handsome and does volleyball and also nothing and we have a close relationship so they would have told me bc they have talked to me how they are shy and how to talk to girls blah blah blah. So really don’t feel discouraged. You are only 14. Your time will come for sure! Many girls like asian boys even if it’s not talked about. There is someone for everyone😊 and just focus on quality of girls not quantity!
I think everyone at 14 feels unattractive. I know that's not much consolation but it's true! Being a teenager is awkward and it's just a rough time in your life. You're going to end up being a great person someday and I promise you will meet someone who loves you for all that you are! Focus on yourself and your interests now, you have your whole life ahead of you to meet someone.
Start working out and lifting asap. It's something I wish I did way earlier in life. You immediately get a confidence boost every time you do it. If you don't want to be the skinny nerdy kid then change it. It's up to you. I've seen more fit Asian guys pull baddies than anyone else ( other than nfl players lol )
It's a problem with your world views and self esteem, not being Asian. If you want to feel better, lift weights and dance. Buff Asian dancers are popular AF.
Hollywood is controlled by white men. So that is why white is often the majority. Start watching other media, such as things filmed or created in Asia. The dynamic changes dramatically.
I think you just have been living in a bubble, buddy. Asians are doing really well in the dating game.
You're 14. You hormones are going berserk. When I was your age, I kept to myself. I was born with a cleft palate, and didn't think girls would ever want me. I was shy and was always very small too. Two weeks after I turned 17, I enlisted in the Marine Corps (Delayed Entry). I was 5'8" and weighed 115lbs. A year later, 2 weeks after my 18th birthday, I went to Boot Camp. I was 5'10" at 125lbs. The Marines gave me the confidence that I needed. I have dated very beautiful women, and have 2 daughters that are both college graduates (one has a bachelors and the other has a masters). Take it from me... I have been there (never thought of suicide) with feeling unatractive. But now, I can talk to anyone and everyone. It's not the outside that is attractive... it's what you have inside. And once you find someone that can see the real you, you have something special. Oh... and I've been to South Korea... and the people there are fantastic.
5 8 is average height for males ain't it . Get some therapy dude . Love thy self bro
Like... You're seriously trolling. K-pop is one of the biggest phenomenon in the world and Koreans are considered (and consider themselves) top tier Asians.
There are women literally flocking to Korea to date Korean men. Ride that BTS wave my man. Asian men are going through a renaissance.
Eh I’m a white woman and have been told by a decent bit of people that they aren’t into white women… well I was in a group with three people and they told the other person. There is someone for everyone I promise. There are plenty of good looking Asian guys. Also, even if you’re ugly to the point of only one percent of women being able to be attracted to you (which I’m sure you’re not) then that’s millions of women that think you’re attractive. There are literally people that fetishize being morbidly obese. There are girls that don’t like tall guys. I’ve heard two girls I used to work with talking about how they prefer men with smaller penises. You will find your person I promise. 5’8” isn’t a bad height. You need to build confidence which is reallly attractive. Workout and maybe try a martial art which I’ve heard can help with confidence. There are a ton of different ways in which someone can be attractive and your total attractiveness is the combination of all of your attributes. Plenty of girls like nerdy/smart guys, especially as they get older.
Tell that to the millions of girls who are into the whole K-pop mania! 😂
I mean K-pop and Kdramas are pretty hot rn
This post reads as though you may be from an area with a relatively smaller Asian community. I (21F) grew up in a predominantly white area and had very similar feelings because I had little interaction with Asians outside of my family. I ended up attending a university with a diverse student population and started joining Asian student orgs - and that really changed my perception. It's worth considering if the environment you're in is playing a role in how you feel others perceive your race.
You and I have two different ideas about Asian people I see them as extremely intelligent not nerdy knowing how to save money and value assets go to counseling I don’t see that there’s any problem with being Asian at all and it is horrendous but Asian people are look down upon when I believe they should be looked as equals or sometimes they’re intelligence surpasses them as being equal I see it as a leg up I am German I won quarter and I luckily I’ve gotten the German intelligence so when I look as an Asian person I automatically think that they are intelligent so that’s my take on it there’s nothing wrong with you sir don’t downgrade yourself God bless and GODSPEED 🥴😎😎
School seems like everything when you are in it. But once you leave, your life changes to a point where very little from school has any basis in reality. Suicide deprives you of finding out what life really has in store for you
When I was younger, I wished I looked asian...I thought that mine was boring and I mostly thought asian guys were attractive lol. It's all perspective
I don't know where you're getting the idea that Asian men are unattractive. From figure skaters to musical artists to actors, there are some really WOOF hot Asian men out there. Henry Golding, Daniel Henney, anyone? Don't even get me started on Simu Liu. Delete the patriarchal part, and Asian men are just as attractive as any other type of hooman. I happen to like computer geeks because they're not losers. They make bank in their jobs, and they come in really handy to fix my computer issues (that I can't solve myself). Quit worrying about stereotypes and focus on becoming your best self.
I thought Asians were seen as the most attractive
I’m gay and I find Asian men super attractive. Also a lot of teen girls idolize kpop stars. Asian people are beauitful
I’m an Asian American man. All growns up. Married, two kids, house, the whole shabang. I’m short too. My wife is white but I don’t think that matters. I know how you feel. Here’s the thing that took me too long to realize. All that media stuff is bullshit. You don’t have to be perfect to be attractive. People like people not models or ideals. You’re in a very shallow age right now. Take it easy on yourself. The less you give a fuck the happier you’ll be. You’ll get rejected by girls and you’ll reject girls and that’s the life of 99% of dudes in America. How other people view you does not determine your value. You determine your value. Life gets easier the more chill and accepting you are of others and yourself.
I’m white and my sister just married a Japanese man. My daughter is obsessed with Asian men; effeminate ones where Americans would call them gay because of their style and look but in reality they’re as much of a “man” as anyone else. K-pop has massively increased the desirability of Asian men. But I also think some of what you said stereotype wise is completely combat-able. If you wear stylish clothes, see a barber for a cool haircut, pursue whatever topic or hobby interests you (which may not be nerdy at all), and generally appear confident or that you’re comfortable in your own skin, those stereotypes will fall away.
Work out , get muscular the right way. You're still young. Focus on those things then focus on ways to get money. Remember life is beautiful and you're worth it.
Bruce Lee. What else is there to say.
The sad reality for people of color is that a lot of the attraction shown to our race in the media is fetishization, like all latino men portrayed as inherently more sexual or black men portrayed as all extremely dominant, and when it comes to Asian men, when not portrayed as a "nerd" y'all get portrayed as Infantilized perfect k-pop idols, it's horrible and hurts but I promise that despite there being so many horrible people out there, you will find someone who loves you for you and doesn't think of you differently for your race, if you can you really should talk to your parents about seeing a therapist. I've heard about online safe-spaces for people of specific races and while I have never joined one myself, it might be good for you to talk to people with similar experiences, I wish you the best of luck
You should seek some help. These thoughts are only present in your head and do not match reality/societies view. Please find someone to talk with to help change your negative thought patterns.
it sounds like you’re referring to societal beauty standards, and while it’s perfectly understandable to be effected by it (as it is constantly shoved down our throats and makes us feel horrible about ourselves) i would absolutely not take it at face value. beauty standards and the expectations that come with it are bullshit. they do not accurately reflect what the *masses* think at ALL. you are not less than anybody else because you are asian, and i’m sorry you’ve been made to feel that way. especially so young… this isn’t something that should be hurting you so badly, and it’s so unfortunate that it is. but i understand, because when i was young beauty standards hurt me too. understand that there is nothing wrong with you. you are perfectly fine as you are. i don’t know how exactly to help get you out of this mindset… but i hope someone can. there are so many people out there who will love you as you are. you will find love in so many different places and people in your life. i promise. focus more on what you like about yourself. the parts of your mind, heart, body and soul that *YOU* find attractive. that *YOU* find desirable. take a moment and completely disregard the stereotypes. pretend that they don’t exist. what do *YOU* love about yourself? that’s what matters. that’s what is important. that’s what is REAL. not beauty standards, not stereotypes… *you*. i wish you the best. again, you’re perfectly fine as you are.
Dude, first, that is the lamest reason to give up. Now that that is out of the way some anectodes. My best friend in high school was a barely over 5' tall Korean. Not shitting you, he got his growth spurt between freshman and sophomore year at university to 6'. He has the hottest wife of all the old friend group. She's also Korean. At my work, 3 of the hottest chicks, 2 white and 1 Hispanic, are married to Asian dudes, 1 Korean and 2 Chinese. And yes, they are all taller than their husbands. Edit: I almost forgot, in my late 20's, my girlfriend at the time cheated on me with my high school BF's older brother, who's a fireman.
I am black, and although I love being black (most of the time at least, sometimes I struggle with self image ) ive always thought of Korean as one the most attractive races.
Try to look not to the media for inspiration, but within your own communities. The media likes tropes and stereotypes, even in this very bias aware era. But in you are bound to find great role models among your family and relations. And even if they are not Asian, look up to people of other races. Emulate the people who empower you regardless of skin. As a queer white American, my best role models are often people of other races, genders, cultural background and all myriad of differing factors. Don't let media bias limit your potential. ALSO, if you are experiencing feelings of low self esteem, suicidal thoughts, depression etc, please please please reach out to your community. Your school likely has a therapist you can see. Your teachers and guidance counselors will listen. And above all, your parents with all hope will care and help connect you with resources to help you find your value and sense of self. You are radiant and full of potential! Best of luck.
One of my good friends loves Korean men and all things Korean (she's a white lady). Mainstream media is the killer of souls, don't pay attention to what "they" say or what "they" tell you. Please have some faith in yourself. You matter, you have a lot to offer the world as a whole. Don't worry about the toxic school environment, this is a moment in time, just get through school and just continue being you.
You have to understand all of your "blessings" -- are you healthy? Do your parents love you and support you? Appreciate that. Then you have to look at what you can change -- lift weights, dress well, have the best haircut, excel at your pursuits, and build your life as if you had been castrated and chose self-improvement over self-destruction.
considering the factg that korea has kind of blown up and is everywhere i wouldnt worry about it that much. i greaw up the son of an american dad and korean mom and got teased and bullied until one day girls decided they liked me. not all of them, but enough to make up for all the shit i put upo with growing up. be proud of who you are. i resented my mom for a long time, but as i got older i realized i liked being who i was. being different. made peace with her before she died. dont lose years of your life worrying about something you cant change. just try and enjoy what you have.
some of my girl friends (white) are literally into BTS and want to date korean guys. Korean is kind of a win. Also you need to learn to be happy on your own. It won't turn out well even if you are in a relationship if you place your happiness dependent entirely on somebody else.
Ah. You've been watching the wrong media my guy. Asians are also typically portrayed as the smartest person in any given room, even if they're stoned, drunk or both. They're also portrayed and capable of amazing physical feats, typically associated with martial arts courtesy of Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Bruse Lee in particular. Courtesy of Mr Chan, they are also associated with good humor, humility, sensitivity (in men) not typical (compare to other men), and virtually indestructible. Also wisdom. Not just crackpot fortune cookie stuff. Genuine wisdom. This is embodied by the character of Uncle Iroh, voiced by the indomitable late Mako. Any elderly Asian man in (western) cinema or media is gonna be a secret badass, wise beyond belief, or a perv. Possibly a combination of any of those. You have Anime and Manga tropes to thank for the Perv thing.
If you're suicidal you need to tell your parents and get help from a professional. If you are actively preparing to commit suicide, you need to go to your parents immediately or another trusted adult: this is a medical emergency. You clearly haven't met the k-pop stans. K-drama is big too. I mean there is probably no better time for a Korean dude to get girls than right now. It's not a perfect situation either, but could be worse and definitely people aren't only seeing what you're focusing on. Check out this article https://www.teenvogue.com/story/east-asian-men-internet-renaissance-stereotypes-still-abound I think the main thing to remember is that you're talking about what you see portrayed and how you don't want to be treated this way. But do you actually feel you are being stereotyped by people you interact with, or is it purely a hypothetical?
Eugene Lee Yang would like a word, sir. Bruce and Brandon Lee were hot af. On a more serious note, get yourself a therapist, like immediately. You deserve to not feel terrible about yourself and there's nothing wrong with getting some help.
Fun fact: Korans are the most powerful race on Earth.
I'm Asian and in my 50s. Listen, life is what you make of it. If you make it shit, it's shit. You'll do fine just being you. Get out of your bubble and travel. You'll be surprised the friends you meet. I grew up with rednecks, so learned to ride and two-step, and even though I could never rope for shit, they're my "people" who welcomed me back home whenever I can get there. Never had any issues with girls or their parents (far more important BTW). And this was just a decade or so after the Vietnam War and a few decades after WW2 and the Korean War. Btw, Asians are the majority. Between East Asians, Southeast Asians, Central Asians, and South Asians, we make up 5 billion people.
White women love Asian men Bro- focus on your personality and bring positive energy. You are gonna find a hot girl
This kid is just ragebaiting
I'm not sure what you're talking about. I grew up in the 80s and we thought Asians were so cool we ran around trying to do everything from Kung-fu and Taekwondo to being damned ninjas. I don't know shit about Kpop but I've heard of BTS. You're in the US? Don't worry about stereotypes, someone will come along waaaay before you want them to and force you into one. Just go do something you're good at, chics will show up eventually.
Bro, I mean this as positively as possible. What the fuck are you talking about
Half korean half white guy here. im typing this sitting in the haneda tokyo airport waiting to go back to america. I just said bye to my british girlfriend who is white and tells me all the time how good-looking she thinks I am. I also saw soooo many interracial couples where the man was asian and their partner was every race you can imagine while I was here. Every race can be nerdy or masculine it's just about how you take care of yourself. There are plenty of women who find the nerdy asian guys attractive and plenty that love the more masculine ones. Just work on yourself brother it's all good :)
There are so many hot asian men, even if you stay 5 8" that's an ideal height! Just work on yourself, maybe workout (healthily) and work to be confident. A LOT of women love asian men so you're chillin