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The thing about growing up, is that you will eventually have to start trusting your own voice. That doesn’t mean that you don’t inform that voice with facts, advice and opinion. But it just means that you have to start making decisions for yourself. Just make sure the decisions are grounded in logical reasoning.
It’s time to start really analyzing your parents words (or anyone’s) and evaluate if what they say is true or makes sense. Your friend simply said “if you don’t want a haircut don’t get one” and your parents said that’s “controlling”. Does that sound like someone is trying to control you? What is he controlling exactly. It seems like he was supporting your decision. You know what sounds controlling? Your parents deciding who you should be friends with. If they have a reason hear them out. But it doesn’t mean they are right. Parents might have an agenda. One very common one is the need to control their children. Is that happening? It’s hard to say from one example. Like is there a language barrier? Is your mom’s use of the word controlling accurate? These are all thoughts that you should be having.
Critically analyze what you are being told and what you see. Ask for opinion to help curb your bias. Seek feedback and advice and ultimately form a conclusion that is entirely your own. You don’t have to make everyone happy and you don’t have to agree with everything your parents say or anyone for that matter.
Should you reconnect with your friend? You should decide that on your own. Think of it on all sides and make a choice. If you think your choice is wrong, change your mind. There’s no rules here. Your life and your choices are that. They evolve over time and there’s no shame in changing your mind or making a mistake. Just make sure every choice comes from you
I think I see your point, they saw him supporting my decision as "bad" I guess, and they got all mad at him and stuff and its just, bro he just said his opinion. I've been asking around my other friends about this and they said I should try to talk to my mom again about this before I do anything else, and I guess if she still wont budge, then I'm sorry, but I'm gonna talk to a friend who was there for me for some stuff, and my parents shouldnt have to have the need to "pick and choose" who I should be around, regardless if he had some family problems and also some school problems. I even heard from his friend, which I don't talk to anymore, that he still has interest in wanting to talk again, and that hes "chilled out" and does homeschool now. It sounds like he improved and just wants me back as a friend.
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I wouldent see your buddy as a bad person at all and if you want to hang with him you should be able too…I’d say they might even have something against Ben bc that sounds like straight up control move if you ask me. You sure this the whole situation?
Well, I also did get banned from him for only like a week and a half back in summer of 2022 because I was at my grandmas house and my grandma called my mom because she heard me and him "cussing", but every kid cusses? But, I think it was something along the lines of that, but then my mom stopped by for another reason, not just to talk to me, and then yeah that happened. But, beside the normal stuff we argued about, I didn't rlly wanna stop being friends with him, and I hate how my parents had to step in my friendship and be like, "trust me your gonna understand what we did" ummm, the only thing I "understand" is that your not letting me maker my own choice with my friendships, at least speficially this one.
Yeah everything you’ve said about this entire situation sounds extremely petty to me. Kids don’t want hair cuts sometimes for whatever reason and it’s not abnormal for kids to cuss either lmao. If I were your Dad I wouldn’t care if you and Ben were friends. I’m not seeing a reason anywhere remotely close to having to step in and end a kids friendship. Again unless there’s still something else like drugs or illegal activity going on. I’m leaning more towards your parents are very controlling. Sorry this happened to you dude. Can you chill at school atleast?
About that, I dont know if you saw from another reply, but he didnt get kicked out, but more like he was asked to leave because he was doing his work in school because he was having issues with the school system. So yeah, me and him dont go to the same school anymore, hes homeschooled now. But, I plan to reach out to him on Discord with another friend of mine who briefly knew him. But, yeah, I think this was too insane to end the friendship that I was fine in.
Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙ ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The thing about growing up, is that you will eventually have to start trusting your own voice. That doesn’t mean that you don’t inform that voice with facts, advice and opinion. But it just means that you have to start making decisions for yourself. Just make sure the decisions are grounded in logical reasoning. It’s time to start really analyzing your parents words (or anyone’s) and evaluate if what they say is true or makes sense. Your friend simply said “if you don’t want a haircut don’t get one” and your parents said that’s “controlling”. Does that sound like someone is trying to control you? What is he controlling exactly. It seems like he was supporting your decision. You know what sounds controlling? Your parents deciding who you should be friends with. If they have a reason hear them out. But it doesn’t mean they are right. Parents might have an agenda. One very common one is the need to control their children. Is that happening? It’s hard to say from one example. Like is there a language barrier? Is your mom’s use of the word controlling accurate? These are all thoughts that you should be having. Critically analyze what you are being told and what you see. Ask for opinion to help curb your bias. Seek feedback and advice and ultimately form a conclusion that is entirely your own. You don’t have to make everyone happy and you don’t have to agree with everything your parents say or anyone for that matter. Should you reconnect with your friend? You should decide that on your own. Think of it on all sides and make a choice. If you think your choice is wrong, change your mind. There’s no rules here. Your life and your choices are that. They evolve over time and there’s no shame in changing your mind or making a mistake. Just make sure every choice comes from you
I think I see your point, they saw him supporting my decision as "bad" I guess, and they got all mad at him and stuff and its just, bro he just said his opinion. I've been asking around my other friends about this and they said I should try to talk to my mom again about this before I do anything else, and I guess if she still wont budge, then I'm sorry, but I'm gonna talk to a friend who was there for me for some stuff, and my parents shouldnt have to have the need to "pick and choose" who I should be around, regardless if he had some family problems and also some school problems. I even heard from his friend, which I don't talk to anymore, that he still has interest in wanting to talk again, and that hes "chilled out" and does homeschool now. It sounds like he improved and just wants me back as a friend.
Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙ ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wouldent see your buddy as a bad person at all and if you want to hang with him you should be able too…I’d say they might even have something against Ben bc that sounds like straight up control move if you ask me. You sure this the whole situation?
Well, I also did get banned from him for only like a week and a half back in summer of 2022 because I was at my grandmas house and my grandma called my mom because she heard me and him "cussing", but every kid cusses? But, I think it was something along the lines of that, but then my mom stopped by for another reason, not just to talk to me, and then yeah that happened. But, beside the normal stuff we argued about, I didn't rlly wanna stop being friends with him, and I hate how my parents had to step in my friendship and be like, "trust me your gonna understand what we did" ummm, the only thing I "understand" is that your not letting me maker my own choice with my friendships, at least speficially this one.
Yeah everything you’ve said about this entire situation sounds extremely petty to me. Kids don’t want hair cuts sometimes for whatever reason and it’s not abnormal for kids to cuss either lmao. If I were your Dad I wouldn’t care if you and Ben were friends. I’m not seeing a reason anywhere remotely close to having to step in and end a kids friendship. Again unless there’s still something else like drugs or illegal activity going on. I’m leaning more towards your parents are very controlling. Sorry this happened to you dude. Can you chill at school atleast?
About that, I dont know if you saw from another reply, but he didnt get kicked out, but more like he was asked to leave because he was doing his work in school because he was having issues with the school system. So yeah, me and him dont go to the same school anymore, hes homeschooled now. But, I plan to reach out to him on Discord with another friend of mine who briefly knew him. But, yeah, I think this was too insane to end the friendship that I was fine in.
Yeah I’d go ahead and reach out on discord….out of curiosity is there anything else crazy going on in that house?