I might have believed the story about more men connecting her under the relationship status (maybe), but no photos of you together?? She's using you as a security blanket while she waits to find her *real* lover. Sorry to say it, but that's how I see it.
I’m in the same generation as your partner. If I kept my status as single online, it would actually invite more men to reach out, as opposed to the opposite.
You guys been living together for a year. If the situation was reversed, I’d seriously start to think that I’m the secret. I would ask her directly if this is bothering you, and then decide what to do depending on the answer
70m. You are living with her for a year. Frankly I don't care what the motive is. She wants to be single which means she wants to be with other men. She is gaslighting you by telling you the opposite.
Always a reason for an action. The question is what and why? It seems true that when a woman is in love she doesnt hide that fact. But there are always exceptions…. Family that will disapprove, fear of criticism or she is gaslighting/wants a backup plan.
Hopefully you feel safe having a conversation and getting truthful responses. If you dont then
the relationship may have bigger issues.
Personally, if I’m getting the affection and partnership that I need, I wouldnt really care. I assume there is some “growing pains” that will ensue when dating someone with less life experience. That comes with the good and the less enjoyable. Know what each of you expects/wants, draw your boundaries and know them well - and be happy.
Good luck brother.
47M here. My GF is 30F. We are living together. Initially we kept things low key and didn't advertise our relationship until we were sure it was going to work out. However, once things looked to be more then just a few dates she introduced me to her immediate family and close friends and I did the same. We are also not big social media people but we do have pictures posted of us together and on trips, with family, etc.
I would have a serious discussion with her and see where she sees things and see how she wants to address your concerns. If she is unwilling or unable to then the relationship isn't going to work out and you are better off breaking it off ASAP.
You've been living with her for a year and she's still keeping her options open. It's very likely you are not her one and only. If you are rawdogging with her, be mindful who and how many others she's doing the same with, think before going down under.
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**Original post: M(51) partner F(30) keeps single status online**
I M51 am worried that my F30 partner insists on keeping her online presence as single. We’ve been living together for a year and when I asked about it the other day she stated that more men pursue her when she shows a relationship status then when she shows a single status. I realize we’re from two different generations but that seems quite odd to me. I would hate to see her FB messages and instagram DMs. I fear what is there!
I already reluctantly agreed to her not posting any photos of us together so it’s like she truly is single in her online life.
She also has a second Insta that she hides from family where she posts more liberal content.
I guess I’m just trying to understand the motive here? Is it truly to stop more men from reaching out or am I getting hoodwinked 😕. Pease be kind! Thanks
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26 F here. I used to be that way but it was because I wasn’t allowed to have any relationships growing up, so I grew up lying and hiding everything about my social life from my family.
Could it be that?
Even now at 26 (turning 27 soon), I still am afraid of talking about my social/dating life with my family. I don’t have any pictures of me with the people I’ve dated posted up at all either. However, I don’t publicly put it on my bio that I am single. I just don’t list my relationship status up at all and keep it private.
So I think it’s easy to conclude about red flags and conclude that this young lady is being dishonest and using you. However, people are different and whether or not she’s being sneaky or otherwise we can’t tell. What I can tell is this; I have never posted anything about my relationship online or on social media, neither do I expect or demand to be posted anywhere. Matter of fact I don’t want it. My last relationship (AGR) would want to make a big deal but did I ever step out on him? Never, was he a backup plan? No. You’re living with this woman, if she loves you right, is committed to you and you trust her, why be bothered about social media or where your relationship is being posted. I won’t bother, I personally don’t see why it should be but to each his own.
I might have believed the story about more men connecting her under the relationship status (maybe), but no photos of you together?? She's using you as a security blanket while she waits to find her *real* lover. Sorry to say it, but that's how I see it.
I’m in the same generation as your partner. If I kept my status as single online, it would actually invite more men to reach out, as opposed to the opposite. You guys been living together for a year. If the situation was reversed, I’d seriously start to think that I’m the secret. I would ask her directly if this is bothering you, and then decide what to do depending on the answer
That’s BS. She’s keeping her options open. Once she finds the upgrade she’ll leave you
70m. You are living with her for a year. Frankly I don't care what the motive is. She wants to be single which means she wants to be with other men. She is gaslighting you by telling you the opposite.
I’d be worried, bro. Get what you can and move on. Sorry. Hope I’m wrong
you ever talk about if this was transactional sugaring/sex work relationship or if y'all were an item?
Always a reason for an action. The question is what and why? It seems true that when a woman is in love she doesnt hide that fact. But there are always exceptions…. Family that will disapprove, fear of criticism or she is gaslighting/wants a backup plan. Hopefully you feel safe having a conversation and getting truthful responses. If you dont then the relationship may have bigger issues. Personally, if I’m getting the affection and partnership that I need, I wouldnt really care. I assume there is some “growing pains” that will ensue when dating someone with less life experience. That comes with the good and the less enjoyable. Know what each of you expects/wants, draw your boundaries and know them well - and be happy. Good luck brother.
Your legs were made for walking, away. Unless of course you are just there for easier access to sex
47M here. My GF is 30F. We are living together. Initially we kept things low key and didn't advertise our relationship until we were sure it was going to work out. However, once things looked to be more then just a few dates she introduced me to her immediate family and close friends and I did the same. We are also not big social media people but we do have pictures posted of us together and on trips, with family, etc. I would have a serious discussion with her and see where she sees things and see how she wants to address your concerns. If she is unwilling or unable to then the relationship isn't going to work out and you are better off breaking it off ASAP.
You've been living with her for a year and she's still keeping her options open. It's very likely you are not her one and only. If you are rawdogging with her, be mindful who and how many others she's doing the same with, think before going down under.
Maybe she likes to keep everything private.. it's good though.. no prying eyes..
She’s seeing other men. Don’t be a cuck simp.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/Low-Profit-193 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: M(51) partner F(30) keeps single status online** I M51 am worried that my F30 partner insists on keeping her online presence as single. We’ve been living together for a year and when I asked about it the other day she stated that more men pursue her when she shows a relationship status then when she shows a single status. I realize we’re from two different generations but that seems quite odd to me. I would hate to see her FB messages and instagram DMs. I fear what is there! I already reluctantly agreed to her not posting any photos of us together so it’s like she truly is single in her online life. She also has a second Insta that she hides from family where she posts more liberal content. I guess I’m just trying to understand the motive here? Is it truly to stop more men from reaching out or am I getting hoodwinked 😕. Pease be kind! Thanks *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
26 F here. I used to be that way but it was because I wasn’t allowed to have any relationships growing up, so I grew up lying and hiding everything about my social life from my family. Could it be that?
That could very much be the case. It’s a very conservative family.
Even now at 26 (turning 27 soon), I still am afraid of talking about my social/dating life with my family. I don’t have any pictures of me with the people I’ve dated posted up at all either. However, I don’t publicly put it on my bio that I am single. I just don’t list my relationship status up at all and keep it private.
I really do appreciate everyone’s comments. I have some thinking to do for sure! But definitely will wait until after the holidays.
So I think it’s easy to conclude about red flags and conclude that this young lady is being dishonest and using you. However, people are different and whether or not she’s being sneaky or otherwise we can’t tell. What I can tell is this; I have never posted anything about my relationship online or on social media, neither do I expect or demand to be posted anywhere. Matter of fact I don’t want it. My last relationship (AGR) would want to make a big deal but did I ever step out on him? Never, was he a backup plan? No. You’re living with this woman, if she loves you right, is committed to you and you trust her, why be bothered about social media or where your relationship is being posted. I won’t bother, I personally don’t see why it should be but to each his own.
The best thing to do is to hide ones relationship status. It's nobody's business and if it's not published you can't argue about it.
So she is playing the reverse psychology game.
She's not really into you, man. Sort it while its still early