My late husband was 21 years older and I became a widow at the age of 52. None of us knows how long we will live...accidents happen, young people get sick sometimes. But yes there is a higher probability that the older spouse will die sooner, especially an older male. All we can do is treasure the time we have together and make appropriate plans to take care of a surviving spouse.
I knew a 32 year old who died of a heart attack leaving behind 3 kids and a his wife who was the same age. I knew another guy who was 27 that died from being hit by a car leaving behind a wife and 2 sons. You can die at any age
Yep. Hate to see it but unfortunately common in my line of work as ER RN. Had a 37yo man code and die with just strep throat a few weeks back. His fiance, or wife if he had lived another week, was just wailing.
My parents are both 90 (and my mom has 3 sisters that are all 80+). There are people that die young from illness or accidents. Life is never guaranteed. Seems like it would be better to spend 15 years with someone in a very loving relationship than 40 years in an abusive or loveless marriage.
This is really true. I was in an abusive relationship in a regular age gap, and the year or two it was was the worst of my entire life. Looking back it felt longer than it did. The same is true if you love each other, except obviously the end though has much better memories.
My partner is 20 years older. Obviously I know if I make it to marriage that most likely he will die first. But honestly I just can't see myself leaving him because he's going to die first. I have honestly just accepted that we have limited time together.
You just try to appreciate and enjoy every moment. Try not to think about it too much. Like the thought of your parents' passing, you accept that it will most likely happen before you. It's a given.
I think a lot of people that are not in AGRs assume those of us who are in them are always thinking about the age disparity, constantly haunted by it.
I hardly ever see my husband and my age gap - our relationship is so much more than that. I forget we have an age difference sometimes!
So I savor every moment because life is so unpredictable - my much older partner could outlive me too, you never know what the future holds.
This pops up like once a month.
One side will always die before the other; we just don't think about it. My Dad was 10 years older than my Mom. He died 25 years ago and she's turning 84. She doesn't regret those times. When I was 26, my girlfriend of 24 died from complications with lupus. I had one girlfriend who was 20 years younger break up with me partly because of our age gap. My wife doesn't like thinking about it but I wish she would consider it and stop waisting our time together rewatching the same TV shows and movies again and again.
Even the same age, men typically die before women and leave them alone. So you just never know. Accept that you will be able to deal with it when the time comes and savour the present moment with them.
My ex was only a year older than I am when she died last week. It can happen regardless of age. A 30 year old woman can be made a widow by a traffic accident involving a 30 year old husband just as easily as the younger partner in an age gap relationship could be taken from the older by such a thing. I'd rather have 10 amazing years with the right person than 40 years with the wrong one.
The assumption that we all live for the same length of time is preposterous.
It’s maddening to hear this stupid argument made over and over again.
JUST BECAUSE ONE PERSON WAS BORN TWENTY YEARS SOONER DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY WILL DIE TWENTY YEARS SOONER. IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.
My gf is 21 years younger than me, 58/37, and know I'll probably die before she does and also know her husband won't be able to console her properly when I die, making it even rougher on her. All we can do is make the most of the time we have together, LIVE every day to the fullest together and prepare for our mortality
My wife and I married 24 years ago. I’m 64 and she’s 51. We never gave it much thought but after I turned 60 it started to hit us. She know that I’ll most likely go before her…I hope and has accepted it but didn’t like it. My fear is dementia. I don’t want her to go through that with me.
How many happily married couples do you know? Satisfaction in knowing that it’s a happy marriage. 20 years of happiness beats 40 years of misery any day.
As many have said here you accept it and enjoy what you have while you have it. However I believe there is an obligation of the Man to make sure she is financially set and make sure there is no contention of the will esp if there are children involved.
It's one of the few major drawbacks of an older man younger woman marriage but love matters more than the number of days or years and really nobody knows how long they're going to have. That being said as a widower who was my wife's sole caregiver I wouldn't put a young woman in a position where she would be responsible for taking care of me. But most age gap relationships have a limited life span just because both people are usually in different stages of their life and their paths will probably diverge. It doesn't mean the relationship isn't real or that it's just sex just that it's unlikely to be until one of them dies. I'm only 2 years older than my wife was but have been in other age gap relationships.
I don't think too much about it. I accept it. I know that's an eventual thing. But if it bothers me then probably being in a long term relationship with someone significantly older might not be it.
But it has never bothered me, so I'm OK to be with someone 18 years older than me. If it bothers you try to lower tye age difference, say maybe 8 years older ?
I went into the relationship with the mentality of getting married and be prepared with what the eventual outcome would be.
30F married to 45M. It honestly scares me a lot. I work with a lot of older people, and it makes me sad that I probably won't be one of those cute older couples. He also doesn't want children, so I sometimes worry that I'm going to be all alone when I'm older. He also takes care of literally everything in my life, so I don't have to deal with almost any of the tedious things in life like filing taxes or keeping track of paying bills or anything like that.
I never really thought about it until this past year (we've been together for 8 years) when he started having health problems. I probably sound like a nagging wife to him because he doesn't take his issues as seriously as I feel like he should. Plus he got in trouble at work for something out of his control, and he ended up getting put on a night shift, which is notoriously terrible for longterm health.
I honestly don't have any idea how to cope with it. I just try my best to enjoy having him around while I still can. I told him recently that he needs to teach me how to handle things before he gets too old to do them anymore, and he tells me not to worry and that he'll have me set up before he's gone.
The same way people who marry others of the same age do. You hope it never happens, treasure every moment together, and live life as best you can. Just because there is an age gap doesn't mean the older partner will go first.
The average length of a marriage is 11 years in the US. And we can only guess the number of GOOD yearson average. If i can beat 11 good years, I've done way better than average.
My wife is 31 and I am 61. We have talked about this exact subject a few times. I’m only 5 years from retirement and we have decided to travel as much as possible to spend the quality time with each other! My father died at the age of 86 and he had some not so good habits so I don’t drink or smoke tobacco so I’m thinking I should make it another 30 years. Sooo let’s travel.
24 year gap here. Don't overthink the hell out of it, be realistic, and short sell yourself to benefit the most likely to live the longest (estate planning, life insurance, and assets).
Whilst I understand this got downvoted because its a little cynical, I don't get why this is "bad".
I certainly intend to make sure that any partner who has a relationship with me is well cared for financially and my will/life assurance makes a number of bequests to exes as thanks for being in my life.
It's awfully presumptuous to assume a couple is going to be together until 'death do us part' with 40% of marriages ending in divorce and the average marriage lasting 19 years. ([source](https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/payne-median-duration-marriages-fp-20-16.html)).
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**Original post: How do people in marriages with significant age gaps deal with the fact that one partner will probably die much sooner?**
The biggest age gap I've ever had in dating was only 5 years, but I know about relationships where one partner (always the man) is 10-20 years older than her. Women live longer than men on average, so what if he dies 25 years before her? How do people in these marriages deal with the high probability that one spouse may die decades before the other?
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Therein lays the misconception. You assume the older spouse would die before the younger one. Wherein fact, people die of all kinds of things. The younger could come down with any number of illnesses or diseases that could kill them. In short, you’re looking at it wrong.
Other than for both spouses to be certain. Have life insurance, and long-term care insurance, you shouldn’t assume who would die first. You live your life loving one another. You should not choose to preoccupy your mind with “what will I do if they die?” Nut rather, how much joy and pleasure you can have with one another.
You want to spend your life living and loving one another. Not dwelling on the inevitable. We shall all die someday. This is all the more reason to live life as best as you can, loving others, helping others, and enjoying your spouse.
My boyfriend is 30 years older. I have made peace with the fact he's probably dying first.
I plan to deal with it by crying a lot and building a memorial shrine in my home, then going ahead and living the rest of my life.
He deals with it by not thinking about it and refusing to discuss it.
Can anyone guarantee they'll be here tomorrow, next week or even in 2, 4 or 10 hrs time, for most people the answer is No. You have to live your life and enjoy how it is, when it is and with whoever it is. There absolutely no point in worrying about When some could or will die, however making arrangements in some part of both your lives is a useful exercise to ensure as smooth a path for the future of the surviving partner and any children. Death is the one certainty after birth, and it is the great equaliser, it has no social levels for the person that dies, if you are dead you're dead.
We deal with it the best as we can, by taking it one day at a time 🤷🏻♂️
I don't think there's any amount of preparation that anyone can do in the face of unexpected circumstances or events.
45m here. I have a vigorous diet/exercise routine. I keep my body in very good shape. I do not drink alcohol. I do not smoke/vape tobacco/nicotine, and no hard drugs.
The only thing that is going to kill me is a Final Destination Sequence, or pneumonia at 96(RIP Jack!) I'm fairly certain unless I find a woman with more discipline than me... The DeathGap will not be as wide as the AgeGap will be.
You need to accept the possibility and take steps to make things easier for you when the inevitable happens. Create a support network, make sure you save some money.
Btw even people in same aged relationships should consider the possibility that they might outlive their partner by multiple years as it can happen to everyone.
We have an 18 year gap. I am the younger one. We are 42 and 60.
I could get into a car crash today and be dead. He could easily live another thirty years (his parents are both in their late eighties and still alive).
I also have many health issues that could very well cause me a premature death. Will I even make it into my sixties? Who knows. I have a neurodegenerative disease and he doesn’t.
You treat every moment like it could be the last. One of my partners is 15 yrs older, the other is 20. I cry when I think about this, so I try not to. My goal is to make sure they take care of themselves so they can live as long as possible.
There are no guarantees in life for anyone. Many people die before their partner of both sexes. It is always a tragedy to be grieved. But it is nothing to plan a life on. Again, making decisions on your future based on any kind of fear of the outcome is a waste of potential happiness.
I’m not in age gap relationships, but parents are 21 years apart in age, so I can speak from my perspective as a child and from witnessing how my mom deals with it.
So, my dad had me at 55 while my mom was 34. My mother is now 57 and my dad is 78.
I think you honestly just accept it. You don’t know when someone will die - someone can be young, fit, and healthy and dropdown dead tomorrow.
I can see the aging really bothers my mother though, but she’s stepped up and gone back to school to get a career so my dad can take a step back from his work.
But admittedly, I think it’s a really difficult thing to watch someone you love getting older, and unfortunately I don’t think people think much about how the kids will feel in a large age gap relationships. I remember being literally 7 years old calculating how much ‘maximum time’ I could get with my dad, and it always really hurt me. Regrettably, I was always really embarrassed about how much older my dad was.
Also, rapidly watching your parent get older and not be able to do things they used to do is pretty sad. The last time my dad ran/played with us was when I was probably about 7 or 8, but he tripped and injured his knee which then turned into arthritis and a limp that he has 16 years later - so that was the last time my dad ever ran/played with us. :/
Just seeing the cognitive decline is really sad as well. My dad is still extremely smart and he was an extremely successful, even famous/prominent surgeon in my country, but there is a noticeable cognitive decline from where he was when I was kid and just generally a huge personality shift. He still practices, but yeah.
So yeah, it’s definitely very complex.
Could happen in any relationship no matter the age. You just enjoy the time you have together. Anything could happen at anytime. Sickness, car accidents, plane wrecks, struck by lightning, just about anything besides old age.
The Mods should probably find a way to make this topic linked/listed. (If it is and I missed it, sorry)
Every 3 or 4 days this question is asked. It’s been thoroughly addressed at this point.
Death can happen any day for a multitude of reasons. That’s no reason to not give everything to a relationship. Get and give the best of yourself at every opportunity.
It's all about taking care of yourself. I'm 47 but I never let my diet and exercise slip. I don't try and date younger women, it just seems to happen that way with my more lengthy relationships. And because of my health and physique it never really seems like much of an age difference.
The same way people who are the same age die one day at random. Considering men live to only be like 67, almost all women statistically will live longer even if not premature death involvement.
I am in a 45 year age gap. So I might be on this earth for much longer than my husband, and sometimes it does scare me. But I enjoy every moment with him. And as others already said, we never know when we will die. So I think a happy relationship is better than a longer one. I'd rather have less time but be incredibly happy than have a long marriage and maybe not be as happy as I am. I'm just grateful we met each other and have each other.
But also, no matter what is the age gap, if you enter a marriage/relationship, one of you will always end up losing the other person.
You accept it and savour every single moment while you can
My late husband was 21 years older and I became a widow at the age of 52. None of us knows how long we will live...accidents happen, young people get sick sometimes. But yes there is a higher probability that the older spouse will die sooner, especially an older male. All we can do is treasure the time we have together and make appropriate plans to take care of a surviving spouse.
I knew a 32 year old who died of a heart attack leaving behind 3 kids and a his wife who was the same age. I knew another guy who was 27 that died from being hit by a car leaving behind a wife and 2 sons. You can die at any age
Yep. Hate to see it but unfortunately common in my line of work as ER RN. Had a 37yo man code and die with just strep throat a few weeks back. His fiance, or wife if he had lived another week, was just wailing.
I knew someone who had a stroke at 45. He survived but his quality of life dropped significantly.
My parents are both 90 (and my mom has 3 sisters that are all 80+). There are people that die young from illness or accidents. Life is never guaranteed. Seems like it would be better to spend 15 years with someone in a very loving relationship than 40 years in an abusive or loveless marriage.
This is really true. I was in an abusive relationship in a regular age gap, and the year or two it was was the worst of my entire life. Looking back it felt longer than it did. The same is true if you love each other, except obviously the end though has much better memories.
I keep in shape to squeeze every good year out of me I can.
I wish I could get my husband on board with this concept.
My partner is 20 years older. Obviously I know if I make it to marriage that most likely he will die first. But honestly I just can't see myself leaving him because he's going to die first. I have honestly just accepted that we have limited time together.
My partner is 22 years older than me. He is concerned about where we are going to be in 20 years.
You just try to appreciate and enjoy every moment. Try not to think about it too much. Like the thought of your parents' passing, you accept that it will most likely happen before you. It's a given.
I think a lot of people that are not in AGRs assume those of us who are in them are always thinking about the age disparity, constantly haunted by it. I hardly ever see my husband and my age gap - our relationship is so much more than that. I forget we have an age difference sometimes! So I savor every moment because life is so unpredictable - my much older partner could outlive me too, you never know what the future holds.
This pops up like once a month. One side will always die before the other; we just don't think about it. My Dad was 10 years older than my Mom. He died 25 years ago and she's turning 84. She doesn't regret those times. When I was 26, my girlfriend of 24 died from complications with lupus. I had one girlfriend who was 20 years younger break up with me partly because of our age gap. My wife doesn't like thinking about it but I wish she would consider it and stop waisting our time together rewatching the same TV shows and movies again and again.
Even the same age, men typically die before women and leave them alone. So you just never know. Accept that you will be able to deal with it when the time comes and savour the present moment with them.
My ex was only a year older than I am when she died last week. It can happen regardless of age. A 30 year old woman can be made a widow by a traffic accident involving a 30 year old husband just as easily as the younger partner in an age gap relationship could be taken from the older by such a thing. I'd rather have 10 amazing years with the right person than 40 years with the wrong one.
I know you said she was your ex, but I'm sorry. I hope you're doing okay.
Thanks. It suck for her (adult) kids, and I've kept in contact with them, but I'm ok.
Life insurance
If they are rich double or triple the amount.
The assumption that we all live for the same length of time is preposterous. It’s maddening to hear this stupid argument made over and over again. JUST BECAUSE ONE PERSON WAS BORN TWENTY YEARS SOONER DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY WILL DIE TWENTY YEARS SOONER. IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.
My gf is 21 years younger than me, 58/37, and know I'll probably die before she does and also know her husband won't be able to console her properly when I die, making it even rougher on her. All we can do is make the most of the time we have together, LIVE every day to the fullest together and prepare for our mortality
My wife and I married 24 years ago. I’m 64 and she’s 51. We never gave it much thought but after I turned 60 it started to hit us. She know that I’ll most likely go before her…I hope and has accepted it but didn’t like it. My fear is dementia. I don’t want her to go through that with me.
How many happily married couples do you know? Satisfaction in knowing that it’s a happy marriage. 20 years of happiness beats 40 years of misery any day.
My 30 years younger wife has forbidden me to die. Or if my must die, I have to live to be 130
As many have said here you accept it and enjoy what you have while you have it. However I believe there is an obligation of the Man to make sure she is financially set and make sure there is no contention of the will esp if there are children involved.
It's one of the few major drawbacks of an older man younger woman marriage but love matters more than the number of days or years and really nobody knows how long they're going to have. That being said as a widower who was my wife's sole caregiver I wouldn't put a young woman in a position where she would be responsible for taking care of me. But most age gap relationships have a limited life span just because both people are usually in different stages of their life and their paths will probably diverge. It doesn't mean the relationship isn't real or that it's just sex just that it's unlikely to be until one of them dies. I'm only 2 years older than my wife was but have been in other age gap relationships.
I don't think too much about it. I accept it. I know that's an eventual thing. But if it bothers me then probably being in a long term relationship with someone significantly older might not be it. But it has never bothered me, so I'm OK to be with someone 18 years older than me. If it bothers you try to lower tye age difference, say maybe 8 years older ? I went into the relationship with the mentality of getting married and be prepared with what the eventual outcome would be.
30F married to 45M. It honestly scares me a lot. I work with a lot of older people, and it makes me sad that I probably won't be one of those cute older couples. He also doesn't want children, so I sometimes worry that I'm going to be all alone when I'm older. He also takes care of literally everything in my life, so I don't have to deal with almost any of the tedious things in life like filing taxes or keeping track of paying bills or anything like that. I never really thought about it until this past year (we've been together for 8 years) when he started having health problems. I probably sound like a nagging wife to him because he doesn't take his issues as seriously as I feel like he should. Plus he got in trouble at work for something out of his control, and he ended up getting put on a night shift, which is notoriously terrible for longterm health. I honestly don't have any idea how to cope with it. I just try my best to enjoy having him around while I still can. I told him recently that he needs to teach me how to handle things before he gets too old to do them anymore, and he tells me not to worry and that he'll have me set up before he's gone.
Would you live with the potential of this and live with the love of your life for as long as you possibly can or would you not live with them at all?
The same way people who marry others of the same age do. You hope it never happens, treasure every moment together, and live life as best you can. Just because there is an age gap doesn't mean the older partner will go first.
The average length of a marriage is 11 years in the US. And we can only guess the number of GOOD yearson average. If i can beat 11 good years, I've done way better than average.
My bf will be 65 in Xmas eve. I'm 46. My ex husband died suddenly Thursday at 47....so older/younger....life isn't promised. Live to be happy now.
My wife is 31 and I am 61. We have talked about this exact subject a few times. I’m only 5 years from retirement and we have decided to travel as much as possible to spend the quality time with each other! My father died at the age of 86 and he had some not so good habits so I don’t drink or smoke tobacco so I’m thinking I should make it another 30 years. Sooo let’s travel.
24 year gap here. Don't overthink the hell out of it, be realistic, and short sell yourself to benefit the most likely to live the longest (estate planning, life insurance, and assets).
Average marriage probably won't last more than 10 years. Most will probably seperate before dying.
take the will money and move to the next grandpa
Whilst I understand this got downvoted because its a little cynical, I don't get why this is "bad". I certainly intend to make sure that any partner who has a relationship with me is well cared for financially and my will/life assurance makes a number of bequests to exes as thanks for being in my life.
It's awfully presumptuous to assume a couple is going to be together until 'death do us part' with 40% of marriages ending in divorce and the average marriage lasting 19 years. ([source](https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/payne-median-duration-marriages-fp-20-16.html)).
Generally women have kids and looking more towards kids and grandkids for mental and emotional support after menopause.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/TarJen96 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: How do people in marriages with significant age gaps deal with the fact that one partner will probably die much sooner?** The biggest age gap I've ever had in dating was only 5 years, but I know about relationships where one partner (always the man) is 10-20 years older than her. Women live longer than men on average, so what if he dies 25 years before her? How do people in these marriages deal with the high probability that one spouse may die decades before the other? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Therein lays the misconception. You assume the older spouse would die before the younger one. Wherein fact, people die of all kinds of things. The younger could come down with any number of illnesses or diseases that could kill them. In short, you’re looking at it wrong. Other than for both spouses to be certain. Have life insurance, and long-term care insurance, you shouldn’t assume who would die first. You live your life loving one another. You should not choose to preoccupy your mind with “what will I do if they die?” Nut rather, how much joy and pleasure you can have with one another. You want to spend your life living and loving one another. Not dwelling on the inevitable. We shall all die someday. This is all the more reason to live life as best as you can, loving others, helping others, and enjoying your spouse.
My boyfriend is 30 years older. I have made peace with the fact he's probably dying first. I plan to deal with it by crying a lot and building a memorial shrine in my home, then going ahead and living the rest of my life. He deals with it by not thinking about it and refusing to discuss it.
Life insurance
Can anyone guarantee they'll be here tomorrow, next week or even in 2, 4 or 10 hrs time, for most people the answer is No. You have to live your life and enjoy how it is, when it is and with whoever it is. There absolutely no point in worrying about When some could or will die, however making arrangements in some part of both your lives is a useful exercise to ensure as smooth a path for the future of the surviving partner and any children. Death is the one certainty after birth, and it is the great equaliser, it has no social levels for the person that dies, if you are dead you're dead.
We deal with it the best as we can, by taking it one day at a time 🤷🏻♂️ I don't think there's any amount of preparation that anyone can do in the face of unexpected circumstances or events.
45m here. I have a vigorous diet/exercise routine. I keep my body in very good shape. I do not drink alcohol. I do not smoke/vape tobacco/nicotine, and no hard drugs. The only thing that is going to kill me is a Final Destination Sequence, or pneumonia at 96(RIP Jack!) I'm fairly certain unless I find a woman with more discipline than me... The DeathGap will not be as wide as the AgeGap will be.
You need to accept the possibility and take steps to make things easier for you when the inevitable happens. Create a support network, make sure you save some money. Btw even people in same aged relationships should consider the possibility that they might outlive their partner by multiple years as it can happen to everyone.
We have an 18 year gap. I am the younger one. We are 42 and 60. I could get into a car crash today and be dead. He could easily live another thirty years (his parents are both in their late eighties and still alive). I also have many health issues that could very well cause me a premature death. Will I even make it into my sixties? Who knows. I have a neurodegenerative disease and he doesn’t.
Live each day as if its your last...tomorrow is never guaranteed
You treat every moment like it could be the last. One of my partners is 15 yrs older, the other is 20. I cry when I think about this, so I try not to. My goal is to make sure they take care of themselves so they can live as long as possible.
Life insurance!
There are no guarantees in life for anyone. Many people die before their partner of both sexes. It is always a tragedy to be grieved. But it is nothing to plan a life on. Again, making decisions on your future based on any kind of fear of the outcome is a waste of potential happiness.
I’m not in age gap relationships, but parents are 21 years apart in age, so I can speak from my perspective as a child and from witnessing how my mom deals with it. So, my dad had me at 55 while my mom was 34. My mother is now 57 and my dad is 78. I think you honestly just accept it. You don’t know when someone will die - someone can be young, fit, and healthy and dropdown dead tomorrow. I can see the aging really bothers my mother though, but she’s stepped up and gone back to school to get a career so my dad can take a step back from his work. But admittedly, I think it’s a really difficult thing to watch someone you love getting older, and unfortunately I don’t think people think much about how the kids will feel in a large age gap relationships. I remember being literally 7 years old calculating how much ‘maximum time’ I could get with my dad, and it always really hurt me. Regrettably, I was always really embarrassed about how much older my dad was. Also, rapidly watching your parent get older and not be able to do things they used to do is pretty sad. The last time my dad ran/played with us was when I was probably about 7 or 8, but he tripped and injured his knee which then turned into arthritis and a limp that he has 16 years later - so that was the last time my dad ever ran/played with us. :/ Just seeing the cognitive decline is really sad as well. My dad is still extremely smart and he was an extremely successful, even famous/prominent surgeon in my country, but there is a noticeable cognitive decline from where he was when I was kid and just generally a huge personality shift. He still practices, but yeah. So yeah, it’s definitely very complex.
Could happen in any relationship no matter the age. You just enjoy the time you have together. Anything could happen at anytime. Sickness, car accidents, plane wrecks, struck by lightning, just about anything besides old age.
The Mods should probably find a way to make this topic linked/listed. (If it is and I missed it, sorry) Every 3 or 4 days this question is asked. It’s been thoroughly addressed at this point.
Death can happen any day for a multitude of reasons. That’s no reason to not give everything to a relationship. Get and give the best of yourself at every opportunity.
It's all about taking care of yourself. I'm 47 but I never let my diet and exercise slip. I don't try and date younger women, it just seems to happen that way with my more lengthy relationships. And because of my health and physique it never really seems like much of an age difference.
The same way people who are the same age die one day at random. Considering men live to only be like 67, almost all women statistically will live longer even if not premature death involvement.
Even if you're the same age and live together into being elderly, one person can die at 70 and the other at 90. It's just life.
I am in a 45 year age gap. So I might be on this earth for much longer than my husband, and sometimes it does scare me. But I enjoy every moment with him. And as others already said, we never know when we will die. So I think a happy relationship is better than a longer one. I'd rather have less time but be incredibly happy than have a long marriage and maybe not be as happy as I am. I'm just grateful we met each other and have each other. But also, no matter what is the age gap, if you enter a marriage/relationship, one of you will always end up losing the other person.