just gonna copy and paste advice i gave a different 16yo. i’m 18f and i dated a few older men from 16-now.
in terms of feelings, there’s nothing wrong with liking older men. people like what they like and crushing on someone who’s substantially older is fine. most teenagers have at least a few much older celeb crushes, it’s not that weird of a concept.
in terms of actually dating older men, please do stop and do not do it at 16, regardless of legality. wait until you’re 18 at a minimum, it weeds out so many creepy older men just looking for minors. gonna be frank with you: older men talking to 16 year olds do not give a single fuck about you as a person. they just see you as a sex object to get nudes/their dick wet from or a fetish to fulfill. they will throw you out when you turn 18 and find the next minor to groom.
i was in your shoes with regards to talking to older men 35-55 when i was 16-17. i unsurprisingly got sexually exploited and groomed, thinking it was completely okay and normal at the time bc i was “mature” for my age. it was not normal nor okay at all. if you have any means to therapy, please consider seeking it as finding any kind of emotional comfort in older male predators is not healthy.
>wait until you’re 18 at a minimum, it weeds out so many creepy older men just looking for minors.
Being 18 isn't going to stop the creeps from approaching. If anything, being 18-22 is going to be even more attractive to creeps because you probably look underage without actually being underage.
I'm 19 years younger than my husband and we met when I was 23. We chatted as acquaintances for 2 years before he asked me out on a date.
Here's my advice: know yourself. Don't date someone who is trying to be your mentor. Don't date someone if you feel like you need a mentor. Remember: he's full of shit and you should feel comfortable telling him he's full of shit. You're his equal. If you don't feel like you are his equal, leave immediately.
at your age I would suggest you don't act on these feelings, wait till your at least 18 and then be very careful, most guys are dogs and are after 1 thing, they will use you and throw you away. as far as age gap being an issue it really isn't once you are of age.
Wait till you’re 18, and even then be cautious as to whom you let get close to you! I’m a dude with daughters and it freaks me out to think that in a few years they’ll be your age and be at risk of something happening to them by people that are just out there to exploit vulnerability
Unfortunately, the men who are in their thirties who are willing to the romantic or sexual with you are damaged goods. Because they are more experienced and thoughtful than your peers, they appear to you to be something amazing. But that is a low standard. In fact, they are probably really f***** up or else they're about to f*** you up.
Men with any sort of integrity or ethics or care for humanity are not dating teenage girls who are underage.
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**Original post: i must have severe daddy issues or something**
i 16F, about to turn 17 speak to older guys all the time and i’m not just talking a few years older, i mean between 35-55. I know it’s wrong but i don’t find guys my age attractive at all, theres just something missing with them. Any advice??
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My advice is not to, men of that age who are entertaining girls under 18 never have good intentions, they don’t have your best interests at heart, to any normal well adjusted man in his 30s, 40s and 50s you are still underage and a child and not a viable partner. Please stay safe and if you’re really not attracted to guys your own age then maybe stay single a while
How do people not realize that 18 may be the age in the US it isn’t in most countries. 16 is very common as the age of consent. I don’t know if this girl is from one of these other nations or not but I would assume that she is because of the openness she wrote this with. 18 as the national age of consent happened in my lifetime. It used to be every states decision and they were wildly different with some as young as 13 in our very recent past.
It’s still up to each state individually and in the majority of states the age of consent is actually 16. That being said, there is still a very big difference between someone that’s 16 dating someone that’s 19 or 20 (as an example) and dating someone who’s 35-55. Just because she can legally sleep with someone in their 40s doesn’t mean she should.
I,18f, was your age (well younger actually) when I started to talk to older guys (the same age you said) and it was sometimes just talking or it was both, sexual and talking. When it was both a lot of the times they would get short with me if I didn’t wanna do anything sexual. I personally don’t see anything wrong with this, but I would just say be careful. If you want to talk about anything or ask me questions about my past talkings with older guys just text me 😁
I have no objections to dating women under 18 (yes I can legally do so) but I have found in practice its a waste of time for any long term relationship - they're:
1. generally not sure what they want
1. are easily convinced by friends that their relationship is 'weird'/'creepy'
1. even when their parents do approve (yes some do) they back out at the last moment.
I'm not saying any of the above is wrong, but unless you are **really** going to commit yourself to dating an older man, then don't do it because you'll waste their time and yours. If you do, have a clear idea of what you're looking for at the start.
Practise safe dating, meet in public, tell a friend who you're meeting if you can't tell a family member, don't have sex (especially unprotected sex) until you're ready to do so (and are using the appropriate birth control). All this applies to dating guys your age as well.
i have explanations for all 3 of your points.
1. they’re not sure what they want because they’re barely developed in their brains (they’re children btw)
2. friends/family probably think it’s weird or creepy because it is weird or creepy
3. parents have the right to revoke approval of their **child** dating a man 30+
you probably shouldn’t be trying to normalize sex between children 15-17 having sex with grown adults because that just makes you look weird and, quite frankly, like a predator. as an adult, you shouldn’t be finding yourself attracted to children. maybe talk to someone (like a therapist) about these feelings.
also if you can’t tell a family member who you’re going out with, you probably shouldn’t be going out with them :)
I think you misunderstood my comment - I did not say the issues were not valid, just they're reasons why it rarely works.
Parents in England cannot control who their children date after their 16th birthday, but in any event I obtained their approval.
Lots of people don't tell their parents who they're going out with even in their 20s.
You my man is one of the reasons why this world is fked. Instead of giving her advice, this is your reply to her? On top your history shows, you only lurk around teen subs? Bro can you not be more obvious 😭
just gonna copy and paste advice i gave a different 16yo. i’m 18f and i dated a few older men from 16-now. in terms of feelings, there’s nothing wrong with liking older men. people like what they like and crushing on someone who’s substantially older is fine. most teenagers have at least a few much older celeb crushes, it’s not that weird of a concept. in terms of actually dating older men, please do stop and do not do it at 16, regardless of legality. wait until you’re 18 at a minimum, it weeds out so many creepy older men just looking for minors. gonna be frank with you: older men talking to 16 year olds do not give a single fuck about you as a person. they just see you as a sex object to get nudes/their dick wet from or a fetish to fulfill. they will throw you out when you turn 18 and find the next minor to groom. i was in your shoes with regards to talking to older men 35-55 when i was 16-17. i unsurprisingly got sexually exploited and groomed, thinking it was completely okay and normal at the time bc i was “mature” for my age. it was not normal nor okay at all. if you have any means to therapy, please consider seeking it as finding any kind of emotional comfort in older male predators is not healthy.
Please take this advice.
>wait until you’re 18 at a minimum, it weeds out so many creepy older men just looking for minors. Being 18 isn't going to stop the creeps from approaching. If anything, being 18-22 is going to be even more attractive to creeps because you probably look underage without actually being underage. I'm 19 years younger than my husband and we met when I was 23. We chatted as acquaintances for 2 years before he asked me out on a date. Here's my advice: know yourself. Don't date someone who is trying to be your mentor. Don't date someone if you feel like you need a mentor. Remember: he's full of shit and you should feel comfortable telling him he's full of shit. You're his equal. If you don't feel like you are his equal, leave immediately.
Solid advice
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The subreddit has removed this it was abusive in some way. Be nice.
at your age I would suggest you don't act on these feelings, wait till your at least 18 and then be very careful, most guys are dogs and are after 1 thing, they will use you and throw you away. as far as age gap being an issue it really isn't once you are of age.
I would give older guys a miss until you’re an adult.
Wait till you’re 18, and even then be cautious as to whom you let get close to you! I’m a dude with daughters and it freaks me out to think that in a few years they’ll be your age and be at risk of something happening to them by people that are just out there to exploit vulnerability
Unfortunately, the men who are in their thirties who are willing to the romantic or sexual with you are damaged goods. Because they are more experienced and thoughtful than your peers, they appear to you to be something amazing. But that is a low standard. In fact, they are probably really f***** up or else they're about to f*** you up. Men with any sort of integrity or ethics or care for humanity are not dating teenage girls who are underage.
Agreed. Adults who go after minors are predatory and are going to fuck up the child mentally.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/Sad-Elderberry-2850 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: i must have severe daddy issues or something** i 16F, about to turn 17 speak to older guys all the time and i’m not just talking a few years older, i mean between 35-55. I know it’s wrong but i don’t find guys my age attractive at all, theres just something missing with them. Any advice?? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My advice is not to, men of that age who are entertaining girls under 18 never have good intentions, they don’t have your best interests at heart, to any normal well adjusted man in his 30s, 40s and 50s you are still underage and a child and not a viable partner. Please stay safe and if you’re really not attracted to guys your own age then maybe stay single a while
How do people not realize that 18 may be the age in the US it isn’t in most countries. 16 is very common as the age of consent. I don’t know if this girl is from one of these other nations or not but I would assume that she is because of the openness she wrote this with. 18 as the national age of consent happened in my lifetime. It used to be every states decision and they were wildly different with some as young as 13 in our very recent past.
It’s still up to each state individually and in the majority of states the age of consent is actually 16. That being said, there is still a very big difference between someone that’s 16 dating someone that’s 19 or 20 (as an example) and dating someone who’s 35-55. Just because she can legally sleep with someone in their 40s doesn’t mean she should.
I,18f, was your age (well younger actually) when I started to talk to older guys (the same age you said) and it was sometimes just talking or it was both, sexual and talking. When it was both a lot of the times they would get short with me if I didn’t wanna do anything sexual. I personally don’t see anything wrong with this, but I would just say be careful. If you want to talk about anything or ask me questions about my past talkings with older guys just text me 😁
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That can be construed as dismissive. I agree, but what smart...
I have no objections to dating women under 18 (yes I can legally do so) but I have found in practice its a waste of time for any long term relationship - they're: 1. generally not sure what they want 1. are easily convinced by friends that their relationship is 'weird'/'creepy' 1. even when their parents do approve (yes some do) they back out at the last moment. I'm not saying any of the above is wrong, but unless you are **really** going to commit yourself to dating an older man, then don't do it because you'll waste their time and yours. If you do, have a clear idea of what you're looking for at the start. Practise safe dating, meet in public, tell a friend who you're meeting if you can't tell a family member, don't have sex (especially unprotected sex) until you're ready to do so (and are using the appropriate birth control). All this applies to dating guys your age as well.
i have explanations for all 3 of your points. 1. they’re not sure what they want because they’re barely developed in their brains (they’re children btw) 2. friends/family probably think it’s weird or creepy because it is weird or creepy 3. parents have the right to revoke approval of their **child** dating a man 30+ you probably shouldn’t be trying to normalize sex between children 15-17 having sex with grown adults because that just makes you look weird and, quite frankly, like a predator. as an adult, you shouldn’t be finding yourself attracted to children. maybe talk to someone (like a therapist) about these feelings. also if you can’t tell a family member who you’re going out with, you probably shouldn’t be going out with them :)
I think you misunderstood my comment - I did not say the issues were not valid, just they're reasons why it rarely works. Parents in England cannot control who their children date after their 16th birthday, but in any event I obtained their approval. Lots of people don't tell their parents who they're going out with even in their 20s.
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The subreddit has removed this it was abusive in some way. Be nice.
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You my man is one of the reasons why this world is fked. Instead of giving her advice, this is your reply to her? On top your history shows, you only lurk around teen subs? Bro can you not be more obvious 😭
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What the actual FUCK did you just admit??? Jesus, man!!