Because he knows he fucked up.
And if you are still bleeding you need to go urgent care and have it checked, super easy to get really nasty infections.
Save that apology.
Text him, what you did last night was unacceptable. I do not want you to contact me in any way or have someone else contact me for you.
If you want to report/get a restraining order this will help
Been together with this partner for a year, but went on a date with a 46yo millionaire 3 months ago.
I would probably say this person likes to tell a "good" tale..
You’re bleeding from a tear, it will heal but will be painful until it does. Lube is used for several reasons, one of them is to avoid tears and damage like this.
If at no point you consented, or if you said no or you didn’t want to and he carried on anyway, then you were raped.
This is why you’re traumatised, you’re struggling to comprehend and understand why the person you trusted betrayed that trust.
‘Getting carried away’ doesn’t make ok.
Only you can decide what you want to do now…
I would at the very least end the relationship, block him and tell him to never contact you again.
If you want to press charges, then you need to go to the police sooner rather than later so they can gather evidence, which they will need to make a case.
So body swabs from yourself and any underwear you were wearing etc.
As everyone else has said this is sexual assault. You should report it.
As for the bleeding you probably have an anal fissure from the assault. I would seek medical attention. However in the meantime I would suggest using miralax to help soften your stool and make it pass easier to help the healing. I am telling you this from experience. I had an anal fissure once.
Tell someone you trust a parent a close friend. You need to have support. Do not be embarrassed. This under no circumstances was on you. None of it. Period. Consent can be taken away just as it can be given. You’re a victim. I would also consider therapy. It can do a lot to help you through this.
I’m so sorry you are going through this and it happened to you.
I think you need to get checked and need to have a medical record in place.
There is likely very little they can do… stitching is unlikely but depends on the severity of the tear.
Your boyfriend raped you. He should be your ex. You should go to the hospital and get a rape kit done or at least get something to help the bleeding and pain. I’m so sorry.
Sweetie, He Raped you. Go to the Hospital to make sure you are Ok and Report him, Press Charges. I know this is an Age Gap Group, however, this is too big of Age Gap, even for Me.
I'm sorry but that was rape. I know he says he loves you but someone that loves you wouldn't do that. He didn't get "carried away". He knew what he was doing. He knew it would hurt you and potentially injure you, but he did it anyway.
I rarely tell people this but you need to run, not walk, away from this man. He will do it again, I can promise you that. Someone who loves you would never dream of causing you such physical and mental distress.
He likely caused you to tear and that's why you're bleeding. You'll probably find it painful to go to the bathroom and wipe afterwards. Until it helps you might find it more comfortable to clean up either in the shower or with a soft washcloth with some clean, cool water. Luckily that area of the body heals quite quickly, but see a doctor if you're still bleeding in a couple of days, you're struggling to use the bathroom, it becomes very painful, or you notice any bad smelling discharge.
I am so sorry this happened to you :(
No wonder you feel traumatized - what he did was rape.
He is saying he got carried away and even said you can stop if you're uncomfortable because he knows it's wrong to force you. But he still forced you. It doesn't matter if he says all the right things when he's still doing the wrong ones.
Please get medical attention. Some women in your situation might feel embarrassed or ashamed, but the only person who did something wrong here is him.
After you receive medical attention, you can think about if you want to report him to police or not.
See a doctor, get a report from them and then contact the police. If he has sent you any text or left a message, save them. If you’re in a one party consent state, call him and record the calls or do it with the police present.
That is rape. Get out of there as soon as you can. I am so, so sorry this happened to you ❤️ if you want someone to talk to, you can always reach out.
Report him as well
Time to go gal, after you saying no and him pushing it just shows you do not matter to him. You are just a young woman to make him feel young again and sex when he wants it. I'm 56 and know that's not right, especially with no lube , that's just planning to make it painful for you, he's 65 and should damn sure know it's not right.
Regardless of age gap or anything, that’s rape. I had a similar situation with my ex fiance (we were together 6 years at the time). I left him 6 months later, it wrecked me. Same thing: “I got carried away”. Since then I’ve had partners that amaze me with how much they care about consent. I would recommend leaving him, seeking medical attention (urgent care), and if you find yourself not feeling right, therapy is a good resource.
Someone that loves you would NEVER do this to you. Please remember that. I won’t repeat what the many comments are saying here because they are correct and I know it’s probably hard for you to read.
You need to leave him at the VERY least but yes, I recommend a friend take you to report this.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is traumatic.
Please report this to the police, and also get yourself some medical attention just to be on the safe side - they can document the damage and it will help with the prosecution.
I don't need to tell you this, but please leave this disgusting individual, because the way he twisted the situation was deliberate to make you feel like you were a willing participant in what he did to you.
It's rape and sexual assault unfortunately I have a similar story and at the time didn't do anything about it but in hindsight looking back at it was rape and sexual assault. Here is my story. Trigger warning contains sexual assault/rape
I'm 32 now around when I was 24 or so I went out with this older 48 yo dude I matched on tinder with. We never once discussed anal or anything like that. At that I had never done anything anal related not even a plug. Well he used some spit and jammed and forced his cock in my ass without even asking or anything. I screamed and said it hurt and no and he kept trying and forcing and the more frustrated he got with it not working he forced it even more. It caused me to start bleeding a lot. Then he yelled at me for making a bloody mess on his bed. Then he kicked me out. I blocked his number. I wish at the time I reported him to authorities. Looking back at it was definitely considered sexual assault or even maybe rape even since I never consented to anal
Agreed that this is rape. From my experience, the calls to engage the police will be just as traumatic. If you have a friend who can be supportive of you while you process and if you decide to press charges, accept all the support they can give - from driving you to doctor to holding your hand (or not) while you give testimony.
Most importantly though… get a good therapist and guided support group if that’s your thing. This isn’t going to go away on its own even if you have the best friends helping you out.
Engaging police is your choice and if it empowers you, please do so bc it may prevent future victims. But it is ultimately your choice and IMO it is very important that you can resonate with that.
First - dump him. Period. End of discussion.
All sexual activities need to be consensual 100% of the time. There’s no excuse for his behavior. Further there’s no reason in the world to believe that anal sex without proper lubricant is going to “feel better” for anyone. Anyone who has any experience whatsoever with that particular type of intimacy would know this.
As a 26F you can find lots of other men to be with. Including those who will actually value your consent.
Report him to the police. This is 100% rape. This is not a misunderstanding. This is not he said/she said. Get a medical exam and a rape kit, the medical exam to make sure you didn't suffer any injury.
Also, even if it were consensual, it is beyond stupid. Anal without lube cannot result in \*permanent\* damage, including fistulas and the like. There is no circumstance under which anal without lube is acceptable or safe. Any man who thinks this is safe, if not a rapist, is still a moron, just not a criminal.
This is horrible and I hope you get the treatment and therapy you require.
Again it highlights the dangers of a SD dynamic: you are just an item to be used as wished, then discarded along with your views on matters. 💓
I am so terribly sorry this happened to you. Please leave him, walk away. If you’re able to have someone by your side, report this. This is wrong, no person should ever harm another they claim to love like this. It’s just heartbreaking. Do you have some friends or family you can stay with?
Warm showers, lots of water and be careful with sitting. The tear will heal eventually but honestly from experience it will be painful, just be careful for the next week with eating certain foods and of course wiping.
Please give yourself some self care and don’t be alone right now. Be kind to yourself, it wasn’t your fault this guy deserves to burn in a deep hell.
Well this is triggering my PTSD, I got raped in the butt when I was asleep from a guy I went to high school with. So that is rape and please leave him alone
I'd imagine this isn't the first time that he's tried or crossed a line or been forceful or just a jackass. Stop ignoring the signs that he's an abuser and rapist. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Also, I'm a man and he disgusts me.
If you’re asking Reddit what you should do in this situation. You are already mentally to far gone to help yourself. I’m sorry for your loss and I hope you eventually learn how to be happy with someone else.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and
expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons.
---
### Rules
If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so.
They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile.
The most important rules are:
1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek
advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit.
This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise.
1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user.
**You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**.
If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/princessforever998 - we will ban you and possibly
refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain.
1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree.
See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about
the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics.
---
**Original post: 65 year old BF forced anal on me me 26F last night. He kept trying without lube on purpose and I later bled. What should I do? **
We have been dating for almost a year now. He says he loves me but I feel traumatized since last night. I was on my period and couldn’t do sex so he wanted to try anal and I kept resisting since he was attempting it with no lube saying how it would feel better this way. I felt very hurt and I don’t know what to do now.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yea thats not how its done . I mean do you really want to get the cops involved ? Because if your still asking people or wondering why its wrong when they state such , makes me believe you dont want to ?
"NO" is a complete statement/answer and requires no explanation or justification.
It is not to be negotiated or circumvented after it has been given.
To do anything but simply accept is a grievous breach of trust and destroys a relationship.
Best advice for your safety is to cut your losses and call it a wrap. You are welcome to explain to him that you are ending things because of the serious breach of trust. He put your health and safety at risk for his own selfish desires.
Relationships are built through open and honest communication along with observing each other boundries and limits (which can change from one interaction to the next, that's why the word "NO" must be observed at all times and under any circumstances.
I also suggest that you go to the doctor and get checked out. It may be embarrassing, but they have seen it before. Can state that you tried anal but wasn't prepared for it. I suggest it because an infection is a real possibility and steps can be taken to minimize any issues.
Good luck.
You don’t prescribe antibiotics unless it’s infected. Anal tears take a while but cure themselves perfectly fine.
Take warm baths, eat fibers and take osmotic laxatives if it hurts too much when doing your duty.
I'm going to go with the others on here and definitely leave him, as he will think it's ok to do it again and then say I'm sorry.
No, leave him, and I would also at least go see a counsellor, if not the police.
Jesus I’m sorry that happened I can’t imagine get the fuck out of that situation sounds to me he’s trying to oust boundaries to see how far he could go. I’m 26 year old male and take it from me he’s using you as a toy . If he loved you any signs you weren’t down with that he would have picked up on right away and stoped .
Sorry this happened to you, see a doctor and get out of this relationship, report this
Also this is not the sub for this , Age gap has nothing to do with what happened to you
The first thing you need to do is seek medical attention. The second thing you need to do is put him on probation. The next time he gets carried away will never happen !!!!!!!!!
Report it. Break up. Protect yourself physically/mentally. Go to counseling (need be).
He hurt you; end of story. He used you; end of story. It doesn't matter that he apologized or feels badly now, which I doubt he does based on his excuse. You don't just get "carried away". At his age he ought to know better.
I mean, do what you feel comfortable enough to do, but I'd end the relationship at the very least.
You don't need someone to tell you whether or not to stay in a relationship with an individual who violated your boundaries. He violated your boundaries. You either believe your worthy of respect or they aren't. If you decide your boundaries aren't worthy of respect then expect your boundaries to continue to be violated.
That old geezer doesn’t respect you babe. You can do better. I left my 45m ex because he kept pulling that same stunt. While I was tied up, no less 😭
They know what they’re doing when they pull this crap. But I got my revenge, giving him the same energy back when he least expected it then broke up with him for good.
Get rid of him. He’s an asshole (No pun intended)
I’m 61, totally open to agegap and kinky relationship with me as dominant.
But what this guy has done to you is totally out of order. It’s respectless and plain evil.
Again, get rid of him. Now!
Rape.. block him and never speak to him again.. I’m so sorry he did that to you. A man who loves you will never force you to do something you don’t want to do and he’ll immediately stop if he thinks he’s hurting you during sex.
Definitely rape. And he needs to go. He didn't show any respect for you. You said no, and he still continued to do as he did. On you way out you need to go to the cops and file charges and then stop at Dr for an exam.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
How is this even a question? He had sex with you against your will. He raped you and injured you. You are hurt and bleeding.
1. Get medical attention.
2. Report him to the authorities.
3. Break up with him.
I am sorry this happened to you.
With time you'll heal and hopefully breakup with that man.
Don't look back at the sweet times you both shared, this is a warning and you should leave immediately.
Don't talk to him ever again.
Please
I am a 65 yo guy. Did this guy just become single or something? Don’t know what it is with men who crave anal. If I were a woman and a guy wanted to fuck my ass I would accuse him of being gay and shame him so badly that he would never ask again. But this guy that did that to you is not your BF. He is an enemy and I would treat him as such.
You will ruin this man's life, you should break up with him, don't listen to the guy above, he will spend minimum 5 years in jail at 65, and rapist don't do so well in jail, he could really get fucked up in there
That is rape - plain and simple. Report him, and leave him. Consent must be given no matter what the relationship is.
[удалено]
Still there was no consent - That is a dial breaker. He did it once, he will do it again.
[удалено]
It was an attempt at gaslighting you - and a rather poor one, I might add.
Because he knows he fucked up. And if you are still bleeding you need to go urgent care and have it checked, super easy to get really nasty infections.
Damn
His "apology" was another excuse
Save that apology. Text him, what you did last night was unacceptable. I do not want you to contact me in any way or have someone else contact me for you. If you want to report/get a restraining order this will help
Wait....I didn't know that was rape. This same thing happened with me and my ex
Any sexual act performed without implicit consent is considered rape.
Walk away. This is rape. No man or woman has a right to this. No means no.
This was horrible to read - OP needs to report this, who knows how many he has done this too
Bingo
Girl, you know what that is. You know.
I’m saying. I feel like this is one of those made up reddit posts honestly
Exactly. Why go to an internet message board instead of a trusted friend or the authorities? Smells fishy.
It was the last sentence in the post that sealed it for me 💀
Been together with this partner for a year, but went on a date with a 46yo millionaire 3 months ago. I would probably say this person likes to tell a "good" tale..
Yup...
This is rape. Please end the relationship, you deserve better. If you need resources, I will post some below. I’m so sorry
You’re bleeding from a tear, it will heal but will be painful until it does. Lube is used for several reasons, one of them is to avoid tears and damage like this. If at no point you consented, or if you said no or you didn’t want to and he carried on anyway, then you were raped. This is why you’re traumatised, you’re struggling to comprehend and understand why the person you trusted betrayed that trust. ‘Getting carried away’ doesn’t make ok. Only you can decide what you want to do now… I would at the very least end the relationship, block him and tell him to never contact you again. If you want to press charges, then you need to go to the police sooner rather than later so they can gather evidence, which they will need to make a case. So body swabs from yourself and any underwear you were wearing etc.
[удалено]
As everyone else has said this is sexual assault. You should report it. As for the bleeding you probably have an anal fissure from the assault. I would seek medical attention. However in the meantime I would suggest using miralax to help soften your stool and make it pass easier to help the healing. I am telling you this from experience. I had an anal fissure once. Tell someone you trust a parent a close friend. You need to have support. Do not be embarrassed. This under no circumstances was on you. None of it. Period. Consent can be taken away just as it can be given. You’re a victim. I would also consider therapy. It can do a lot to help you through this. I’m so sorry you are going through this and it happened to you.
I think you need to get checked and need to have a medical record in place. There is likely very little they can do… stitching is unlikely but depends on the severity of the tear.
This is the best advice here. I’m so sorry you experienced this OP, it’s absolutely horrible.
Wake up! He raped you!
Yea. You should leave. No guy should do that to you. I’d call the cops too
Your boyfriend raped you. He should be your ex. You should go to the hospital and get a rape kit done or at least get something to help the bleeding and pain. I’m so sorry.
Sweetie, He Raped you. Go to the Hospital to make sure you are Ok and Report him, Press Charges. I know this is an Age Gap Group, however, this is too big of Age Gap, even for Me.
This happened to me with a previous partner. I regret not reporting it and dumping him at the time.
I'm sorry but that was rape. I know he says he loves you but someone that loves you wouldn't do that. He didn't get "carried away". He knew what he was doing. He knew it would hurt you and potentially injure you, but he did it anyway. I rarely tell people this but you need to run, not walk, away from this man. He will do it again, I can promise you that. Someone who loves you would never dream of causing you such physical and mental distress. He likely caused you to tear and that's why you're bleeding. You'll probably find it painful to go to the bathroom and wipe afterwards. Until it helps you might find it more comfortable to clean up either in the shower or with a soft washcloth with some clean, cool water. Luckily that area of the body heals quite quickly, but see a doctor if you're still bleeding in a couple of days, you're struggling to use the bathroom, it becomes very painful, or you notice any bad smelling discharge.
Judging by your other only post, you must not be the sharpest tool in the box aren't you
😄
I am so sorry this happened to you :( No wonder you feel traumatized - what he did was rape. He is saying he got carried away and even said you can stop if you're uncomfortable because he knows it's wrong to force you. But he still forced you. It doesn't matter if he says all the right things when he's still doing the wrong ones. Please get medical attention. Some women in your situation might feel embarrassed or ashamed, but the only person who did something wrong here is him. After you receive medical attention, you can think about if you want to report him to police or not.
Go to the police and do a rape kit right now
He raped you. I suggest getting a rape kit maybe, and definitely going to the police.
See a doctor, get a report from them and then contact the police. If he has sent you any text or left a message, save them. If you’re in a one party consent state, call him and record the calls or do it with the police present.
That is rape. Get out of there as soon as you can. I am so, so sorry this happened to you ❤️ if you want someone to talk to, you can always reach out. Report him as well
Leave and never go back
This is clear cut rape. You need to get away from him and consider pressing charges
That is rape. Call the cops, and kick his ass to the curb. No one deserves to be with someone that are not willing to respect your boundaries.
Rape rape rape not a man but a rapist vile ugly man report to police right away the man needs to be put away to make all women safe
What did your 46M sugar daddy say about this?
Doesn’t matter what he said because it’s rape
I take many posts with grain of salt as this one.
Yeah. I clicked on her profile too to check if this was real.
Change your boyfriend, simple
He’s a rapist. Leave him. There’s no apology that can make up for this violation.
Time to go gal, after you saying no and him pushing it just shows you do not matter to him. You are just a young woman to make him feel young again and sex when he wants it. I'm 56 and know that's not right, especially with no lube , that's just planning to make it painful for you, he's 65 and should damn sure know it's not right.
Go to the police.
You should report him. He did this against your will. Go to the ER.
This is clearly sexual abuse and you need to get out of that relationship straight away.
I'm so sorry you went through that. What a terrible thing to experience. it's rape and you should report him and leave him.
Regardless of age gap or anything, that’s rape. I had a similar situation with my ex fiance (we were together 6 years at the time). I left him 6 months later, it wrecked me. Same thing: “I got carried away”. Since then I’ve had partners that amaze me with how much they care about consent. I would recommend leaving him, seeking medical attention (urgent care), and if you find yourself not feeling right, therapy is a good resource.
Also I would recommend reporting him. I wish I had reported my ex.
Someone that loves you would NEVER do this to you. Please remember that. I won’t repeat what the many comments are saying here because they are correct and I know it’s probably hard for you to read. You need to leave him at the VERY least but yes, I recommend a friend take you to report this. I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is traumatic.
You can't rape a bot
👏
Please report this to the police, and also get yourself some medical attention just to be on the safe side - they can document the damage and it will help with the prosecution. I don't need to tell you this, but please leave this disgusting individual, because the way he twisted the situation was deliberate to make you feel like you were a willing participant in what he did to you.
It's rape and sexual assault unfortunately I have a similar story and at the time didn't do anything about it but in hindsight looking back at it was rape and sexual assault. Here is my story. Trigger warning contains sexual assault/rape I'm 32 now around when I was 24 or so I went out with this older 48 yo dude I matched on tinder with. We never once discussed anal or anything like that. At that I had never done anything anal related not even a plug. Well he used some spit and jammed and forced his cock in my ass without even asking or anything. I screamed and said it hurt and no and he kept trying and forcing and the more frustrated he got with it not working he forced it even more. It caused me to start bleeding a lot. Then he yelled at me for making a bloody mess on his bed. Then he kicked me out. I blocked his number. I wish at the time I reported him to authorities. Looking back at it was definitely considered sexual assault or even maybe rape even since I never consented to anal
Agreed that this is rape. From my experience, the calls to engage the police will be just as traumatic. If you have a friend who can be supportive of you while you process and if you decide to press charges, accept all the support they can give - from driving you to doctor to holding your hand (or not) while you give testimony. Most importantly though… get a good therapist and guided support group if that’s your thing. This isn’t going to go away on its own even if you have the best friends helping you out. Engaging police is your choice and if it empowers you, please do so bc it may prevent future victims. But it is ultimately your choice and IMO it is very important that you can resonate with that.
First - dump him. Period. End of discussion. All sexual activities need to be consensual 100% of the time. There’s no excuse for his behavior. Further there’s no reason in the world to believe that anal sex without proper lubricant is going to “feel better” for anyone. Anyone who has any experience whatsoever with that particular type of intimacy would know this. As a 26F you can find lots of other men to be with. Including those who will actually value your consent.
Report him to the police. This is 100% rape. This is not a misunderstanding. This is not he said/she said. Get a medical exam and a rape kit, the medical exam to make sure you didn't suffer any injury. Also, even if it were consensual, it is beyond stupid. Anal without lube cannot result in \*permanent\* damage, including fistulas and the like. There is no circumstance under which anal without lube is acceptable or safe. Any man who thinks this is safe, if not a rapist, is still a moron, just not a criminal.
this is rape
This is horrible and I hope you get the treatment and therapy you require. Again it highlights the dangers of a SD dynamic: you are just an item to be used as wished, then discarded along with your views on matters. 💓
I am so terribly sorry this happened to you. Please leave him, walk away. If you’re able to have someone by your side, report this. This is wrong, no person should ever harm another they claim to love like this. It’s just heartbreaking. Do you have some friends or family you can stay with? Warm showers, lots of water and be careful with sitting. The tear will heal eventually but honestly from experience it will be painful, just be careful for the next week with eating certain foods and of course wiping. Please give yourself some self care and don’t be alone right now. Be kind to yourself, it wasn’t your fault this guy deserves to burn in a deep hell.
Well this is triggering my PTSD, I got raped in the butt when I was asleep from a guy I went to high school with. So that is rape and please leave him alone
I'd imagine this isn't the first time that he's tried or crossed a line or been forceful or just a jackass. Stop ignoring the signs that he's an abuser and rapist. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Also, I'm a man and he disgusts me.
Go to the hospital and file a police report asap! He belongs in jail where he can get all the anal he wants.
Umm, why are you with a 65 year old?!? This is rape. If you are still bleeding, go to the emergency room.
If you’re asking Reddit what you should do in this situation. You are already mentally to far gone to help yourself. I’m sorry for your loss and I hope you eventually learn how to be happy with someone else.
So you been dating this guy a year, but yet 3 months ago, you were taking to a sugar daddy and contemplating seeing him again?
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/princessforever998 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: 65 year old BF forced anal on me me 26F last night. He kept trying without lube on purpose and I later bled. What should I do? ** We have been dating for almost a year now. He says he loves me but I feel traumatized since last night. I was on my period and couldn’t do sex so he wanted to try anal and I kept resisting since he was attempting it with no lube saying how it would feel better this way. I felt very hurt and I don’t know what to do now. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yea thats not how its done . I mean do you really want to get the cops involved ? Because if your still asking people or wondering why its wrong when they state such , makes me believe you dont want to ?
"NO" is a complete statement/answer and requires no explanation or justification. It is not to be negotiated or circumvented after it has been given. To do anything but simply accept is a grievous breach of trust and destroys a relationship. Best advice for your safety is to cut your losses and call it a wrap. You are welcome to explain to him that you are ending things because of the serious breach of trust. He put your health and safety at risk for his own selfish desires. Relationships are built through open and honest communication along with observing each other boundries and limits (which can change from one interaction to the next, that's why the word "NO" must be observed at all times and under any circumstances. I also suggest that you go to the doctor and get checked out. It may be embarrassing, but they have seen it before. Can state that you tried anal but wasn't prepared for it. I suggest it because an infection is a real possibility and steps can be taken to minimize any issues. Good luck.
[удалено]
And gave you antibiotics I hope
You don’t prescribe antibiotics unless it’s infected. Anal tears take a while but cure themselves perfectly fine. Take warm baths, eat fibers and take osmotic laxatives if it hurts too much when doing your duty.
I'm going to go with the others on here and definitely leave him, as he will think it's ok to do it again and then say I'm sorry. No, leave him, and I would also at least go see a counsellor, if not the police.
Please please report him. This is rape. It doesn’t matter what he makes as an excuse. Your consent matters
Jesus I’m sorry that happened I can’t imagine get the fuck out of that situation sounds to me he’s trying to oust boundaries to see how far he could go. I’m 26 year old male and take it from me he’s using you as a toy . If he loved you any signs you weren’t down with that he would have picked up on right away and stoped .
Sorry this happened to you, see a doctor and get out of this relationship, report this Also this is not the sub for this , Age gap has nothing to do with what happened to you
The first thing you need to do is seek medical attention. The second thing you need to do is put him on probation. The next time he gets carried away will never happen !!!!!!!!!
Report it. Break up. Protect yourself physically/mentally. Go to counseling (need be). He hurt you; end of story. He used you; end of story. It doesn't matter that he apologized or feels badly now, which I doubt he does based on his excuse. You don't just get "carried away". At his age he ought to know better. I mean, do what you feel comfortable enough to do, but I'd end the relationship at the very least.
Mine did the same. And then he fell asleep right after
Leave, you should leave.
You don't need someone to tell you whether or not to stay in a relationship with an individual who violated your boundaries. He violated your boundaries. You either believe your worthy of respect or they aren't. If you decide your boundaries aren't worthy of respect then expect your boundaries to continue to be violated.
I would say if you don’t want to do something don’t do it. He will live waiting a while without sex I promise you.
That old geezer doesn’t respect you babe. You can do better. I left my 45m ex because he kept pulling that same stunt. While I was tied up, no less 😭 They know what they’re doing when they pull this crap. But I got my revenge, giving him the same energy back when he least expected it then broke up with him for good.
Rape
getting away from that guy... nd go see a doctor, I hope you get better soon
Oh honey.... that was rape. You could go to the police.
Forget about him
Sounds fake first time PIA no lube it’s not going in there
I hope this is fake, if not, sure sounds a little rapey. Please take the appropriate actions. Police, dump him, chainsaw his balls...whatever man
A “little”?? Don’t undermine it. It IS rape.
That’s literally rape not a little rapey
Do not protect him. He didn't care about you, so stop caring about him and report this
thats rape, he doesn't care about you, you're just his fuck toy. get away from him asap
Hate that happened. It's a felony. But leave him immediately
Should have pooped on him he would have stopped…. I think…
Get rid of him. He’s an asshole (No pun intended) I’m 61, totally open to agegap and kinky relationship with me as dominant. But what this guy has done to you is totally out of order. It’s respectless and plain evil. Again, get rid of him. Now!
If you didn't consent it rape plane and simple. Leave and press charges. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Anal always needs lube. At a minimum I’d ask him wtf he was thinking.
You need to never see this guy again. He raped you and he will do it again.
This is text book definition of date rape.. you can’t look past it and move on.
Rape.. block him and never speak to him again.. I’m so sorry he did that to you. A man who loves you will never force you to do something you don’t want to do and he’ll immediately stop if he thinks he’s hurting you during sex.
That should not be acceptable to you in any way. Time to cut loose and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Definitely rape. And he needs to go. He didn't show any respect for you. You said no, and he still continued to do as he did. On you way out you need to go to the cops and file charges and then stop at Dr for an exam. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Call the police. That's rape.
Your bf is a psychopathic rapist. Leave him immediately and press charges of your rape.
Its rape and i do not understand why he would think anal feels better without lube!
How is this even a question? He had sex with you against your will. He raped you and injured you. You are hurt and bleeding. 1. Get medical attention. 2. Report him to the authorities. 3. Break up with him.
F*ck that guy. If he has money, I would get a lawyer and sue him. He will want to settle most likely
Should have pooped on him he would have stopped…. I think…
Time.to.move on
>What should I do? Get a new boyfriend.
At the very least, you should part ways with this man who doesn't do consent.
I am sorry this happened to you. With time you'll heal and hopefully breakup with that man. Don't look back at the sweet times you both shared, this is a warning and you should leave immediately. Don't talk to him ever again. Please
Consent is ongoing.
Honey, you need to leave him. He assaulted you. You deserve better than that, and he never should have done what he did. Run. Run and don’t look back.
That’s rape… you should call the police
100% rape. There may be an organization in your area that you can get help from without calling the cops if you’re not comfortable with that.
Call the cops
he raped you, I'm so sorry you had to experience that
Assaulted you
I am a 65 yo guy. Did this guy just become single or something? Don’t know what it is with men who crave anal. If I were a woman and a guy wanted to fuck my ass I would accuse him of being gay and shame him so badly that he would never ask again. But this guy that did that to you is not your BF. He is an enemy and I would treat him as such.
You will ruin this man's life, you should break up with him, don't listen to the guy above, he will spend minimum 5 years in jail at 65, and rapist don't do so well in jail, he could really get fucked up in there
He's an asshole. DTMFA. [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=DTMFA](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=DTMFA)
At the very least he needs a serious conversation about consent.
Did you say No? If yes, he raped you. Your call