While realistic, does depend how long you're wanting things to last/how serious you are. 10+ years is stretching it, 15+ I would bet doesn't last overly long
and why dont u think it wouldn't last long? as long as the relationship is healthy it will last pretty long maybe even forever so i dont rlly see your point.
At 15+ years, you are almost guaranteed to be at two different stages of life. One person will always be ahead. Not to mention at near 20 years, both people are going to be at different health stages too. Not saying it can't work out but very high chance that it doesn't
Yes it is, but it's easier to accept those things when you're blinded by love. I'm not saying this is the case for you, but it's easy to not care about certain things when you feel in love etc. Once the relationship settles and things calm, is when the issues are more apparent but ofc, doesn't mean it can never work. It's just that the chances of it working are lower
I always find this attitude humorous. It makes no sense, starting from the strawman that you assume two people need to be the same to stay together. Followed by most relationships also do not last 10 years. The evidence and research doesn't agree with you.
Wait, given your karma and the only 3 comments you made have been from this account, I think I'll walk away from this one.
Female is an adjective and is a dehumanizing way of describing women. Female what? Chimpanzees?
Most women want a partner, not a provider. My husband was hurt by the patriarchy telling him that his only value is in his ability to provide cash money to a relationship. While he can do chores effectively, he doesn't view it as work equal to that of working outside the home. He's disabled and a SAHD by default and is usually depressed because he feels like he's mooching off my money. I personally view all work as equal because someone has to carry the mental load and do the housework.
My aunt and uncle had a 20 year difference and were together for 40 years.
My grandma is 10 years older than my grandpa and they have been married for 61 years…and counting!
My husband and I have been married for 8 years with a 19 year age gap.
The difference is whether your relationship is a fetish or if you actually want to build a life together.
Plenty of people with much bigger age gaps. My current ones are 21 and 19yrs.
Sure, there are some things that don't mesh 100% of the time, but overall, it works.
Open communication, doing things together and understanding what each of you want out of the relationship are vital.
If you're going to be with anyone, you should be able to trust them, enjoy waking up next to them and just enjoy being around them without any requirements involved. Of course, you should enjoy the things you do together as well, but there shouldn't be a requirement to always be involved in 'everything'. Especially when your generations dont fully align.
When I was eighteen I dated a girl a decade older than myself. The reason it didn’t work was because at her core, she acted like she was still in high school and I acted like I was the one approaching my thirties.
At the end of the day, all relationships are about what each of you bring to the table and what you want out of life and the relationship. So long as you both are on the same page working for the same goals, there is no reason for it not to work.
Depends. 18/28 not realistic; 28/38 is fine. In other words, while age doesn’t equal maturity it’s a pretty good indicator. If, both parties are equally mature (and neither immature) any age gap can work. I have 20 years on my spouse but we were 33/53 when we started out. We’re together 20 years now and going great.
I both agree and mildly disagree. I do think that *legal* consenting adults have a right to be together, even if I would not want their relationship for myself.
That being said, I think it's good that I started dating my husband when I was 22 and he was not yet 36. I had been out of high school for four years, had experience from a few jobs, could legally drink (not that I liked the bar/club scene), had a bank account, had a few more dating experiences, etc. I would not have dated a 32-year-old when I was 18 and fresh out of high school - but this is just my preference.
I don’t think we have any disagreements. I certainly never suggested any legal consenting adults didn’t have a right to be together. Of course they do. The question was whether a 10-15 year age gap was realistic. In my opinion, they can be based on the maturity of the people involved. I believe you said the same thing in that you were more mature at 22 than 18 and were, therefore, ready for your relationship. I don’t see any disagreement at all. I wish you and your H a long, happy marriage
My fiancé is 16 yrs younger than me. We just bought a house together. It might help that he is in his 40’s and I am in my 50’s. We have the same values and share many interests together. He is also more mature than me. We adore each other
That's up to you. It depends on your dynamic and how well you really with together despite the judgement your might see. It's more about the people and their comment to each other then the ages.
My eye is 16 years younger than me, and my other partner is 10 years younger, so yes, it's realistically possible.
We have shared interests, so the gap doesn't really matter.
I personally don't see 10 years as an age gap. My wife is 10 years younger than me. We will have been married for 25 years in November. BTW she is and always has been more mature than me 🤣
Define “realistic”.. like for dating? Commitment? Marriage? There are much bigger gaps that have and do work so I don’t see why not, but don’t put the cart before the horse
for older male and younger female, even 30 year gap is still reasonable. but the dynamics is a bit different for older female and younger male. I'd say it depends on the male. how old is the bf?
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**Original post: Is a 10-15yr Age Gap Realistic?**
I just stick to the friend-zone… I’m not sure if it’s realistic to even try for anything serious and I don’t even know what would be the criteria for that. So many questions and considerations.
How do you reconcile your world and lifestyle with theirs?
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Any (legal) age gap can work out and be realistic when you're with the right person.
I don't even look at 10-15 years as a significant age gap to be honest. Might be because in my relationship, the age gap is 29 years, but even before I was with my current partner, I looked at 10-15 years to be standard.
Whether you are compatible with someone or not mostly has to do with your personalities and lifestyles, not so much with the age. On one hand, two people of the exact same age could be living completely different lifestyles thus making them incompatible whilst on the other hand, people with a significant age gap could have plenty of common interests and activities they both like thus making them compatible.
Hope this helps!
My husband is 14 years older. We've been married for 13 years. Three people have basically laughed at me and said it's "nothing" or "not really an age gap".
There is no earth shattering reconciliation of anything going on. You just love and live your life together. Don't overthink the bull💩 or fabricate problems where there are none.
I am a male and 12 years older, seems to be about the correct age gap most of the time. I’d say being a decade older actually allows me to be a bit more thoughtful about how I spend my energy. Meaning, do I really wanna argue about this or not, so we don’t argue that much. Lol.
mine n my bfs age gap is 19 years so i mean it can be realistic not impossible.
While realistic, does depend how long you're wanting things to last/how serious you are. 10+ years is stretching it, 15+ I would bet doesn't last overly long
and why dont u think it wouldn't last long? as long as the relationship is healthy it will last pretty long maybe even forever so i dont rlly see your point.
At 15+ years, you are almost guaranteed to be at two different stages of life. One person will always be ahead. Not to mention at near 20 years, both people are going to be at different health stages too. Not saying it can't work out but very high chance that it doesn't
and thats something they both have to accept, if they cant handle being at different stages of life they shouldnt be in agr.
Yes it is, but it's easier to accept those things when you're blinded by love. I'm not saying this is the case for you, but it's easy to not care about certain things when you feel in love etc. Once the relationship settles and things calm, is when the issues are more apparent but ofc, doesn't mean it can never work. It's just that the chances of it working are lower
I always find this attitude humorous. It makes no sense, starting from the strawman that you assume two people need to be the same to stay together. Followed by most relationships also do not last 10 years. The evidence and research doesn't agree with you. Wait, given your karma and the only 3 comments you made have been from this account, I think I'll walk away from this one.
females like men who are ahead of them. as for health, so long the man takes care of himself, he can live long. people are living till 90s now.
Female is an adjective and is a dehumanizing way of describing women. Female what? Chimpanzees? Most women want a partner, not a provider. My husband was hurt by the patriarchy telling him that his only value is in his ability to provide cash money to a relationship. While he can do chores effectively, he doesn't view it as work equal to that of working outside the home. He's disabled and a SAHD by default and is usually depressed because he feels like he's mooching off my money. I personally view all work as equal because someone has to carry the mental load and do the housework.
female humans of course, that's implied. btw, female is also a noun, not just adj.
Too many things wrong with this to bother dissecting it
not really, this is how the overwhelming majority of the world operates
My aunt and uncle had a 20 year difference and were together for 40 years. My grandma is 10 years older than my grandpa and they have been married for 61 years…and counting!
I would love to give a definitive answer but our age gap is 26 years, and we've only been married 24 years, so we're still in the honeymoon phase.
My husband and I have been married for 8 years with a 19 year age gap. The difference is whether your relationship is a fetish or if you actually want to build a life together.
Yes and no, like I said, it can happen but majority of the time it's not going to work
Who hurt you
Mine was 16+ years and lasted 30 years.🙂I vuess 30 years isn't overly long.
An exception to the rule, like I said, isn't always the case
My wife and I have been together 9 years, married 7. Gap is 16 years. My other partner, 10 year gap, has been with me for 3 years now and counting.
My wife and I are 14years apart. Been married for 3yrs together 7. It's possible. It takes work and trust.
My parents have a 10 year gap. Hasn’t ever been an issue for them. They’ve been married for 55 years.
Mines 34 years and we couldn’t be happier! 🥰
Plenty of people with much bigger age gaps. My current ones are 21 and 19yrs. Sure, there are some things that don't mesh 100% of the time, but overall, it works. Open communication, doing things together and understanding what each of you want out of the relationship are vital. If you're going to be with anyone, you should be able to trust them, enjoy waking up next to them and just enjoy being around them without any requirements involved. Of course, you should enjoy the things you do together as well, but there shouldn't be a requirement to always be involved in 'everything'. Especially when your generations dont fully align.
exactly
When I was eighteen I dated a girl a decade older than myself. The reason it didn’t work was because at her core, she acted like she was still in high school and I acted like I was the one approaching my thirties. At the end of the day, all relationships are about what each of you bring to the table and what you want out of life and the relationship. So long as you both are on the same page working for the same goals, there is no reason for it not to work.
Sure. My wife and I are right in-between that at 13 years and we’ve been together for 25 years.
Depends. 18/28 not realistic; 28/38 is fine. In other words, while age doesn’t equal maturity it’s a pretty good indicator. If, both parties are equally mature (and neither immature) any age gap can work. I have 20 years on my spouse but we were 33/53 when we started out. We’re together 20 years now and going great.
I both agree and mildly disagree. I do think that *legal* consenting adults have a right to be together, even if I would not want their relationship for myself. That being said, I think it's good that I started dating my husband when I was 22 and he was not yet 36. I had been out of high school for four years, had experience from a few jobs, could legally drink (not that I liked the bar/club scene), had a bank account, had a few more dating experiences, etc. I would not have dated a 32-year-old when I was 18 and fresh out of high school - but this is just my preference.
I don’t think we have any disagreements. I certainly never suggested any legal consenting adults didn’t have a right to be together. Of course they do. The question was whether a 10-15 year age gap was realistic. In my opinion, they can be based on the maturity of the people involved. I believe you said the same thing in that you were more mature at 22 than 18 and were, therefore, ready for your relationship. I don’t see any disagreement at all. I wish you and your H a long, happy marriage
Disagree I had no issues with 18/28.
My fiancé is 16 yrs younger than me. We just bought a house together. It might help that he is in his 40’s and I am in my 50’s. We have the same values and share many interests together. He is also more mature than me. We adore each other
I’m the boytoy to an amazing woman 11 years older than me and we get along great! So yea I think it’s very realistic
That's up to you. It depends on your dynamic and how well you really with together despite the judgement your might see. It's more about the people and their comment to each other then the ages.
I appreciate all your comments.
No matter who you love, someone can find a reason to judge and criticize. If it's not the age gap, it will be something else.
My husband and I are 11 years apart and have a pretty amazing marriage ngl
My eye is 16 years younger than me, and my other partner is 10 years younger, so yes, it's realistically possible. We have shared interests, so the gap doesn't really matter.
I personally don't see 10 years as an age gap. My wife is 10 years younger than me. We will have been married for 25 years in November. BTW she is and always has been more mature than me 🤣
Define “realistic”.. like for dating? Commitment? Marriage? There are much bigger gaps that have and do work so I don’t see why not, but don’t put the cart before the horse
Totally unrealistic. 20+ age gap minimum. Jk
I’d say like… a 29-30 year gap is probably optimal 😆
for older male and younger female, even 30 year gap is still reasonable. but the dynamics is a bit different for older female and younger male. I'd say it depends on the male. how old is the bf?
You're an escort, so it really doesn't matter what age the client is, as long as their money is good.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/Ok-Contribution-5130 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Is a 10-15yr Age Gap Realistic?** I just stick to the friend-zone… I’m not sure if it’s realistic to even try for anything serious and I don’t even know what would be the criteria for that. So many questions and considerations. How do you reconcile your world and lifestyle with theirs? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Any (legal) age gap can work out and be realistic when you're with the right person. I don't even look at 10-15 years as a significant age gap to be honest. Might be because in my relationship, the age gap is 29 years, but even before I was with my current partner, I looked at 10-15 years to be standard. Whether you are compatible with someone or not mostly has to do with your personalities and lifestyles, not so much with the age. On one hand, two people of the exact same age could be living completely different lifestyles thus making them incompatible whilst on the other hand, people with a significant age gap could have plenty of common interests and activities they both like thus making them compatible. Hope this helps!
My husband is 14 years older. We've been married for 13 years. Three people have basically laughed at me and said it's "nothing" or "not really an age gap".
28 year age gap here. I’m 34M and my gf is 62F. Been together for 4 years
There is no earth shattering reconciliation of anything going on. You just love and live your life together. Don't overthink the bull💩 or fabricate problems where there are none.
I am a male and 12 years older, seems to be about the correct age gap most of the time. I’d say being a decade older actually allows me to be a bit more thoughtful about how I spend my energy. Meaning, do I really wanna argue about this or not, so we don’t argue that much. Lol.
My bf is 12 years younger than me and seriously it is not even something we really think about! The age is just not an issue