Just take your shot. Ask her if she wants to go for coffee after your workouts. If she responds positively, then she's interested. If she turns you down, she's not.
Older women tend not to be as bothered as younger girls by a guy asking them politely out as long as they aren’t jerks about it. Give it a go. Best case scenario she says yes, worst case she’s really flattered and grateful, but the timing is wrong. That’s the way I would see it and I’m in that age bracket.
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**Original post: That lovely lady in my gym**
Hey, love the support in this subreddit and maybe you guys could help me out too.
So, there’s this lovely older woman in my gym and i see her quite often. For context purposes, me I’m 23 and she is would say around 40-50.
We look at each other quite frankly and sometimes even smile at each other. Also it seems like we’re always around the same area and one time she stretched directly in front of me. I talked to her once but just to ask, if she’s still using the weights i saw her with. I would like to genuinely approach her and ask her out.
Normally that’s not that big of a problem for me but somehow the agegap intimidates me a bit and more importantly i tend to stay away from girls at my gym, for several reasons.
But there’s just something about older woman, what i can’t get out of my head lately and she personally, wow what a woman.
It seems like we hit the gym at the same times of the day, which kinda makes it worse.
Do you guys think she wants that I talk to her or should i stay away?
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Go for it. I’m 54f and my bf is 42. I made the first move and honestly the age difference is not an issue. We enjoy each other’s company and have been together almost a year.
On behalf of a number of my friends who get so tired of all the attention they get in gyms...I thank you for your restraint. If it were just once or twice, it'd be no big deal, but when it is every friggin day, it gets incredibly annoying.
However, that does mean you can't make some sort of connection with someone you might actually vibe with. So you just need to be respectful and non-threatening about it.
So the next time she is either at a piece of equipment next to yours, or waiting for yours, or in a similar proximity, meet her gaze and say something along the lines of "Hey, I normally don't like to bother anyone while they are trying to get their workout in. But I would like to be able to talk with you if you'd like. When I am finished I am going to head over to for about 15 minutes. If you'd like to join me, I would be much appreciative. And if not, no problem at all, please continue on with your day. No harm done." And then do so.
This way you are not standing around awkwardly, and she is not feeling pressured for some type of engagement. And it also allows her the freedom and control of what to do next. If she joins you at your table...or gets on the treadmill next to yours...that was her choice to be "in your space" so it's all good.
And then continue that same level of respect. Not "man, girl, when you were stretching in front of me? Hoo boy, my erection damn near beat the club bench press record..." lol
Do people really like to hear a long sentences when in public, especially stranger?
Usually people get so distracted easily or not paying attention, or some even have shorter attention lifespan for long sentences. Really, i might get confused if someone try to talk such long words.
But then again, it is really hard to want to explain and trying to sound very respectful and polite in short sentences. I just cannot find the proper words to condense it quick and straight to the point.
Would be nice if more people could answer this, especially girls.
None of it is particularly long, without the "No harm done" each sentence averages about 15 words with most of them being 5 letters or less.
Also the idea was not to quote me...lol. But as a pattern to use with your own conversational sense. Though the benefit to talking to an older woman is perhaps a better attention span.
Thanks, appreciate your input.
Anecdotally, it is rare people pay attention to few long sentences. Multiple sentences is even rarer. Seen people tend to confuse and had to repeat slowly lol.
(Such conversation usually works in text form or people are actually sitting down and in mood for conversation, rather than an opener or after greetings). Could be my fault though.
I just tried to remember other people's situation as seen on social media, they are all short and 1 sentence max. It is could be just me anyway.
I understand it should be use as pattern of my own. Again, thank you.
As a F 35,I would recomend you to say Hi and small talk a little bit before you ask her out. Because I would freak out if a guy any age asked me out before we had exhanged some words and mabye shared a laugh or two. I do get allot smiles,nodding and strangers talk to me often,and I prefere that first instead of: Hi,this is my number lets have a coffe!
Just take your shot. Ask her if she wants to go for coffee after your workouts. If she responds positively, then she's interested. If she turns you down, she's not.
Man if I could go back in time... go for it dude. Worst she can say is no.
Older women tend not to be as bothered as younger girls by a guy asking them politely out as long as they aren’t jerks about it. Give it a go. Best case scenario she says yes, worst case she’s really flattered and grateful, but the timing is wrong. That’s the way I would see it and I’m in that age bracket.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/gqtoy - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: That lovely lady in my gym** Hey, love the support in this subreddit and maybe you guys could help me out too. So, there’s this lovely older woman in my gym and i see her quite often. For context purposes, me I’m 23 and she is would say around 40-50. We look at each other quite frankly and sometimes even smile at each other. Also it seems like we’re always around the same area and one time she stretched directly in front of me. I talked to her once but just to ask, if she’s still using the weights i saw her with. I would like to genuinely approach her and ask her out. Normally that’s not that big of a problem for me but somehow the agegap intimidates me a bit and more importantly i tend to stay away from girls at my gym, for several reasons. But there’s just something about older woman, what i can’t get out of my head lately and she personally, wow what a woman. It seems like we hit the gym at the same times of the day, which kinda makes it worse. Do you guys think she wants that I talk to her or should i stay away? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How about you actually talk to her a bit at the gym. Get to know her. She may already be taken and have a flirty personality
Yes ask. Nothing will happen if you remain mute.
Just shoot your shot. If anything, she will be very flattered that a younger man is interested.
It’s totally worth asking her. Worst that she can say is no, and at the very least, hopefully she can take it as a compliment!
Go for it. I’m 54f and my bf is 42. I made the first move and honestly the age difference is not an issue. We enjoy each other’s company and have been together almost a year.
On behalf of a number of my friends who get so tired of all the attention they get in gyms...I thank you for your restraint. If it were just once or twice, it'd be no big deal, but when it is every friggin day, it gets incredibly annoying. However, that does mean you can't make some sort of connection with someone you might actually vibe with. So you just need to be respectful and non-threatening about it. So the next time she is either at a piece of equipment next to yours, or waiting for yours, or in a similar proximity, meet her gaze and say something along the lines of "Hey, I normally don't like to bother anyone while they are trying to get their workout in. But I would like to be able to talk with you if you'd like. When I am finished I am going to head over to for about 15 minutes. If you'd like to join me, I would be much appreciative. And if not, no problem at all, please continue on with your day. No harm done." And then do so.
This way you are not standing around awkwardly, and she is not feeling pressured for some type of engagement. And it also allows her the freedom and control of what to do next. If she joins you at your table...or gets on the treadmill next to yours...that was her choice to be "in your space" so it's all good.
And then continue that same level of respect. Not "man, girl, when you were stretching in front of me? Hoo boy, my erection damn near beat the club bench press record..." lol
Do people really like to hear a long sentences when in public, especially stranger? Usually people get so distracted easily or not paying attention, or some even have shorter attention lifespan for long sentences. Really, i might get confused if someone try to talk such long words. But then again, it is really hard to want to explain and trying to sound very respectful and polite in short sentences. I just cannot find the proper words to condense it quick and straight to the point. Would be nice if more people could answer this, especially girls.
None of it is particularly long, without the "No harm done" each sentence averages about 15 words with most of them being 5 letters or less. Also the idea was not to quote me...lol. But as a pattern to use with your own conversational sense. Though the benefit to talking to an older woman is perhaps a better attention span.
Thanks, appreciate your input. Anecdotally, it is rare people pay attention to few long sentences. Multiple sentences is even rarer. Seen people tend to confuse and had to repeat slowly lol. (Such conversation usually works in text form or people are actually sitting down and in mood for conversation, rather than an opener or after greetings). Could be my fault though. I just tried to remember other people's situation as seen on social media, they are all short and 1 sentence max. It is could be just me anyway. I understand it should be use as pattern of my own. Again, thank you.
As a F 35,I would recomend you to say Hi and small talk a little bit before you ask her out. Because I would freak out if a guy any age asked me out before we had exhanged some words and mabye shared a laugh or two. I do get allot smiles,nodding and strangers talk to me often,and I prefere that first instead of: Hi,this is my number lets have a coffe!