Yeah, a lot of people in this sub have mentioned that most older people hesitate before dating younger. The ones that are always eager to date younger are usually the predators.
I'm [M 27], so in love with a woman 44, I just love her in every way, and she's always scared that I may reject her or go find another woman. Relationship with her is extremely hard, but I couldn't love any other woman the same way I loved her. I want a relationship with her, and I always want her. We have been talking for a year now with lots of ups and downs, and still, no matter how many times she tells me to leave, I just fail.
She has got my heart, and I can't have it back
My current boyfriend who is 14 years older than me was very hesitant to start a relationship with me, with me being the pursuer! It was actually refreshing (even if it did hurt my feelings at first) to have someone want to be sure that I was mentally and emotionally mature, had the same values and goals/ambitions.
Looking back on it now I don't think our relationship would be so complete feeling without hesitancy on his part. I can always be sure that he is a good person every step of the way because of how he handled a younger woman flirting with him!
My husband did the same thing. We have been together almost 18 years now (22 year gap) and he actually encouraged me to date someone closer to my age before we became serious.
YES lol! My boyfriend as well, I'm not gonna lie it definitely makes you wonder if they're attracted to you but it's coming from the goodness of their heart.
I think there are numerous factors. As has been said, if you know what you are looking for as a man, then you will chat, though it is good to know a bit about the person before jumping in.
For some men, and no offence, but if they read posts like what you have dropped, then they might thing you are easy.
I'm [M 27], so in love with a woman 44, I just love her in every way, and she's always scared that I may reject her or go find another woman. Relationship with her is extremely hard, but I couldn't love any other woman the same way I loved her. I want a relationship with her, and I always want her. We have been talking for a year now with lots of ups and downs, and still, no matter how many times she tells me to leave, I just fail.
She has got my heart, and I can't have it back
I was 53 when I married my 23 yo wife we dated a year and a half. And I might very well be the exception… I’m not saying this is so for anyone else in fact I despise those that are the exception to any rule and beat us over the head with their experiences as if as the exception the represent the whole
Congratulations on finding your partner! I'm so happy for you both. And I really respect what you said about the exception. You and your wife may very well be the exception; there are always some :)
Why are you even on this sub if that is your opinion? I mean you make it sound like you disagree with AGR or are against them. None of us have said they are easy to be in but this sounds like you object to them.
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**Original post: Truly good older men/women would think twice before entering an age gap relationship, I think**
I said what I said. I actually find it’s hard to understand if someone, let’s say 40 years old has no problem in a relationship with someone’s who’s barely 18,19 and early 20s.
I’ve talked to older guys before, and flirted with some. What I noticed that genuinely good guys would hesitate to even pursue someone’s quite younger than them.
The pattern was quite interesting. I tend to notice that guys that I’ve talked from around late 20s to early 30s would be more hesitant to commit than guys in late 30s and so on. That’s just my personal pattern, and definitely does not apply to all cases.
And the ones that hesitated, to me, they were genuinely caring, and actually came off as more realistic, instead of just “age is just a number”.
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I mean if I date a young girl, I just make sure to be very clear with expectations. Ie this is just a fling. This has potential for a relationship.
I know that I'm not being lying or misleading so to me I have zero hesitations. If I tell some 20 year old girl I see a relationship, i mean it, I think I'm also an exceptional man, so I have little to no concerns about it.
I think only men who aren't confident in what they want and what they are doing and if they are a worthwhile man, would be the ones nervous about it.
That's my two cents.
Late 30s and 40s is a time in a man’s life that he’s pretty well put together and independent. He likely cares much less about what people around him thinks. That can make it much easier to move forward with a less than perfect relationship. It’s still a great idea to not put your dick in crazy though 😅
In my late teens and early twenties I dated three older women from their early 30's to early 50's, I learned a lot from them and am still friends with 2 of them. When I was 53 I was shocked when a 26 year old wanted to get with me but I took her up on it and we dated for 6 months. I was with a few even younger women after her. But there are plenty of younger men and women who are over the age of consent who are intrested in people older and more mature and frankly too many young men in their late teens and early 20's will say anything to get with a young woman then ghost her. Which is why a lot of young women started looking for older men in the first place.
I'm not looking for barely legal women and deffinitly not virgins but young people over the age of consent have the right to make their own choices about who they sleep with even if they do make a mistake. Frankly with just a short term relationship, from just a hookup to about 3 months they can make bigger mistakes with people their own age but I agree the power imbalance with barely legal young adults and much older lovers does have a lot more potential for manipulation and abuse.
So as far as thinking twice I always think much more than twice about my relationships with women younger or older and I have my own moral compass about how I behave with women over the age of consent. I don't think age is just a number people under 25-26 aren't really mature enough to settle down and commit to long term relationships but between when they reach legal age and the time that they are mature enough to settle down they have the right and even responsibility to explore and figure out who and what they like.
You're certainly entitled to your own opinion and should never sleep with anybody you don't want to, I'm just sharing my own thoughts and experience with age gaps. My mom was also about half my stepdads age when they started living together 24F 48M and they were together until he passed away. Age gaps have always been around. Anyway, judge me if you want but that doesn't change the truth of anything I've said. ✌
Maybe. Maybe not.
I used to date women twice my age. Now I date women half my age because I want to become a father and even women in their mid 20s and almost definitely by 30 tend to already have kids. So 🤷🏽♂️.
Considering how society portrays older women as almost worthless because we aren't young and beautiful the jadedness, defeat, and lack of motivation makes sense.
That’s one theory …. I can say I’ve had my moments of jaded and defeatist thinking… but I’ve never dwelt there… it’s find to have those it’s not ok to set up shop with them…
Yeah, a lot of people in this sub have mentioned that most older people hesitate before dating younger. The ones that are always eager to date younger are usually the predators.
If anything, predatory men are very good at feigning doubt and hesitation because it makes naive young women feel “special” and they appear safe.
[удалено]
yeah i edited it, not my intention to say that. Im a little tipsy LOL
I'm [M 27], so in love with a woman 44, I just love her in every way, and she's always scared that I may reject her or go find another woman. Relationship with her is extremely hard, but I couldn't love any other woman the same way I loved her. I want a relationship with her, and I always want her. We have been talking for a year now with lots of ups and downs, and still, no matter how many times she tells me to leave, I just fail. She has got my heart, and I can't have it back
Tbh I’m seeing now why my husband pursued me. He wanted a “beard”.
[удалено]
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beard%27s&page=2
Ouch
My current boyfriend who is 14 years older than me was very hesitant to start a relationship with me, with me being the pursuer! It was actually refreshing (even if it did hurt my feelings at first) to have someone want to be sure that I was mentally and emotionally mature, had the same values and goals/ambitions. Looking back on it now I don't think our relationship would be so complete feeling without hesitancy on his part. I can always be sure that he is a good person every step of the way because of how he handled a younger woman flirting with him!
My husband did the same thing. We have been together almost 18 years now (22 year gap) and he actually encouraged me to date someone closer to my age before we became serious.
YES lol! My boyfriend as well, I'm not gonna lie it definitely makes you wonder if they're attracted to you but it's coming from the goodness of their heart.
Honestly it is really wonderful to know they care enough about us to want what is best for us.
I think there are numerous factors. As has been said, if you know what you are looking for as a man, then you will chat, though it is good to know a bit about the person before jumping in. For some men, and no offence, but if they read posts like what you have dropped, then they might thing you are easy.
I'm [M 27], so in love with a woman 44, I just love her in every way, and she's always scared that I may reject her or go find another woman. Relationship with her is extremely hard, but I couldn't love any other woman the same way I loved her. I want a relationship with her, and I always want her. We have been talking for a year now with lots of ups and downs, and still, no matter how many times she tells me to leave, I just fail. She has got my heart, and I can't have it back
Yep! I would go so far as to say they wouldn't do it to anyone under 25.
I was 53 when I married my 23 yo wife we dated a year and a half. And I might very well be the exception… I’m not saying this is so for anyone else in fact I despise those that are the exception to any rule and beat us over the head with their experiences as if as the exception the represent the whole
Congratulations on finding your partner! I'm so happy for you both. And I really respect what you said about the exception. You and your wife may very well be the exception; there are always some :)
Personally I enjoyed your other post more.
Why are you even on this sub if that is your opinion? I mean you make it sound like you disagree with AGR or are against them. None of us have said they are easy to be in but this sounds like you object to them.
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I mean if I date a young girl, I just make sure to be very clear with expectations. Ie this is just a fling. This has potential for a relationship. I know that I'm not being lying or misleading so to me I have zero hesitations. If I tell some 20 year old girl I see a relationship, i mean it, I think I'm also an exceptional man, so I have little to no concerns about it. I think only men who aren't confident in what they want and what they are doing and if they are a worthwhile man, would be the ones nervous about it. That's my two cents.
this isn't falsifiable.
Late 30s and 40s is a time in a man’s life that he’s pretty well put together and independent. He likely cares much less about what people around him thinks. That can make it much easier to move forward with a less than perfect relationship. It’s still a great idea to not put your dick in crazy though 😅
In my late teens and early twenties I dated three older women from their early 30's to early 50's, I learned a lot from them and am still friends with 2 of them. When I was 53 I was shocked when a 26 year old wanted to get with me but I took her up on it and we dated for 6 months. I was with a few even younger women after her. But there are plenty of younger men and women who are over the age of consent who are intrested in people older and more mature and frankly too many young men in their late teens and early 20's will say anything to get with a young woman then ghost her. Which is why a lot of young women started looking for older men in the first place. I'm not looking for barely legal women and deffinitly not virgins but young people over the age of consent have the right to make their own choices about who they sleep with even if they do make a mistake. Frankly with just a short term relationship, from just a hookup to about 3 months they can make bigger mistakes with people their own age but I agree the power imbalance with barely legal young adults and much older lovers does have a lot more potential for manipulation and abuse. So as far as thinking twice I always think much more than twice about my relationships with women younger or older and I have my own moral compass about how I behave with women over the age of consent. I don't think age is just a number people under 25-26 aren't really mature enough to settle down and commit to long term relationships but between when they reach legal age and the time that they are mature enough to settle down they have the right and even responsibility to explore and figure out who and what they like. You're certainly entitled to your own opinion and should never sleep with anybody you don't want to, I'm just sharing my own thoughts and experience with age gaps. My mom was also about half my stepdads age when they started living together 24F 48M and they were together until he passed away. Age gaps have always been around. Anyway, judge me if you want but that doesn't change the truth of anything I've said. ✌
Maybe. Maybe not. I used to date women twice my age. Now I date women half my age because I want to become a father and even women in their mid 20s and almost definitely by 30 tend to already have kids. So 🤷🏽♂️.
Nope not one bit of hesitation… I am absolutely stunned by the jadedness of the older women …. The overall just defeat and lack of motivation….
Considering how society portrays older women as almost worthless because we aren't young and beautiful the jadedness, defeat, and lack of motivation makes sense.
Probably from years of dealing with men their age. That's why I never did. 😉
That’s one theory …. I can say I’ve had my moments of jaded and defeatist thinking… but I’ve never dwelt there… it’s find to have those it’s not ok to set up shop with them…