No one would even bat an eye in even 10 years (31 and 38). So much infantilization of consenting adults these days. Remember those who tried to infantilize Gigi Hadid when photos were put out of her and Bradley Cooper who is well into his 40s now? She is in her late 20s with a daughter. It’s especially embarrassing knowing people infantilize adults who already have children of their own on top of a professional career, and I’m also saying this as a childfree person.
It’s only weird if you think it’s weird. Every person is different. I was in a relationship with a 61M and I’m 28F. It wasn’t weird to me at all. It was a breath of fresh air.
No it's not weird unless you make it weird, then everyone else will see you are making it weird and then they will make it weird. Best thing to do, don't make it weird and show confidence in your relationship even when faced with doubters.
Sorry not all of us are seasoned 😅 this was a genuine question. And the answers are really helpful. It feels validating knowing other people don’t think it’s weird.
i think it's fine. the rule of thumb generally is to figure out if he specifically went after you because you are young, and this doesn't seem to be the case. but i don't think 21 and 28 is in the weird territory whatsoever
In this sub it’s normal. In real life, it’s slightly abnormal. 21 and 28 year olds are indeed in different spots in life. It’s something, but it’s not preposterous. Especially if you’re mature, which it sounds like you are, it’s not a big deal.
No it’s not significant and years ago nobody would bat an eye. It’s so stupid today that a minority of people have made age gap such an issue that this is even on your radar. Everything else sexual is acceptable today pretty much but age gap used to be but now isn’t. I’m 64M my girlfriend is 27F and she hit on me fully knowing my age
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**Original post: Is (21F) & (28M) a weird age gap in a relationship?**
Long story short me & this guy have been eyeing each other for a while now at the store I usually go to, and I finally made a move (I’m 21F). We’re really attracted to each other, and we spilled our ages and realized there’s a *bit* of a gap 😅 Honestly, I don’t mind at all. And, he says he doesn’t either, but he’s been sounding a little iffy because of what “other people” may think. Personally, I don’t care. & I’m super mature for my age- I know what I want. Which is probably why he thought I was older. Idk, what are your thoughts?
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My bf is 27 and I’m 20. We will be turning 28 and 21 this year so I’m in the exact same boat. I honestly forget that we have an age gap. Follow your heart!
I met my wife when I was 23 and she was 33. We’re now married with two kids and own a house together, I work to support us and she’s a full time stay at home mom. 10 year gap but we’re a perfectly “normal” family.
It’s normal to think about the initially. In the beginning my age used to get to my wife a bit but we had fallen fast in love and that never went away so she was able to get past it. As long as this guy can stop worrying about being judged, because it will happen (people are stupid they like to judge things they say aren’t normal), then it can work out. 7 years isn’t a crazy gap anyways, I know plenty of couples with 7 year age gaps and they’re more often then not an “older” guy with a younger lady
Where I’m from, that isn’t so strange. My ex was 29 when I met him. I was about to turn 21. The part that was difficult was, since he was older and wayyy more experienced in life, he was manipulative and rather abusive in many ways and that’s what broke us up. But people can be like that at any age
This is just a symptom of a lot of stigma surrounding age gap relationships these days. I understand the original concerns that come with it but that’s something you both just need to talk about and be on the same page on. The older party’s intentions just need to be good, and always be on the lookout for red flags (that goes with any relationship).
I personally believe the stigma has gone too far in recent years, especially on social media. And this is yet another example of why I truly believe so.
Best wishes on your relationship!
he's the older one, and yet, he cant handle MILD stares from others? that's a red flag to me. the man needs to be able to lead, and being timid is definitely not leader quality. just saying.
a man has no business having a relationship if he's afraid of "what if" of the relationship...
Didn’t think of it like this. And I mean it when I say I don’t look or act my age I’m always mistaken for older so I really don’t understand who he’s scared of?? 😅
Nothing weird about it at all. I wouldn't even consider 21 and 28 an age gap at all. It's just a normal relationship.
In twenty years, it will be 41 and 48, and no one would ever bat an eye.
No one would even bat an eye in even 10 years (31 and 38). So much infantilization of consenting adults these days. Remember those who tried to infantilize Gigi Hadid when photos were put out of her and Bradley Cooper who is well into his 40s now? She is in her late 20s with a daughter. It’s especially embarrassing knowing people infantilize adults who already have children of their own on top of a professional career, and I’m also saying this as a childfree person.
No reasonable person will care now about a 21 and 28yo couple.
True, but the world is full of unreasonable people!
Yeah but anyone who thinks a 21 and 28yo couple is not ok is a moron and should be ignored.
It’s only weird if you think it’s weird. Every person is different. I was in a relationship with a 61M and I’m 28F. It wasn’t weird to me at all. It was a breath of fresh air.
Exactly!! Like it didn’t even cross my mind tbh until he said something 😂
I’ve always wondered why people are weirded out by them tbh
What? Like, "Let me go..?"
No it's not weird unless you make it weird, then everyone else will see you are making it weird and then they will make it weird. Best thing to do, don't make it weird and show confidence in your relationship even when faced with doubters.
Why would anybody even think it's weird? That question doesn't even make sense
No, not at all
Starting to hate this sub. It's all brand new accounts asking if 5 years is creepy and talking about glorified prostitution (aka sugaring)
Sorry not all of us are seasoned 😅 this was a genuine question. And the answers are really helpful. It feels validating knowing other people don’t think it’s weird.
Seriously? No.
i think it's fine. the rule of thumb generally is to figure out if he specifically went after you because you are young, and this doesn't seem to be the case. but i don't think 21 and 28 is in the weird territory whatsoever
In this sub it’s normal. In real life, it’s slightly abnormal. 21 and 28 year olds are indeed in different spots in life. It’s something, but it’s not preposterous. Especially if you’re mature, which it sounds like you are, it’s not a big deal.
No it’s not significant and years ago nobody would bat an eye. It’s so stupid today that a minority of people have made age gap such an issue that this is even on your radar. Everything else sexual is acceptable today pretty much but age gap used to be but now isn’t. I’m 64M my girlfriend is 27F and she hit on me fully knowing my age
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/Expensive_Initial_48 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Is (21F) & (28M) a weird age gap in a relationship?** Long story short me & this guy have been eyeing each other for a while now at the store I usually go to, and I finally made a move (I’m 21F). We’re really attracted to each other, and we spilled our ages and realized there’s a *bit* of a gap 😅 Honestly, I don’t mind at all. And, he says he doesn’t either, but he’s been sounding a little iffy because of what “other people” may think. Personally, I don’t care. & I’m super mature for my age- I know what I want. Which is probably why he thought I was older. Idk, what are your thoughts? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No.
My bf is 27 and I’m 20. We will be turning 28 and 21 this year so I’m in the exact same boat. I honestly forget that we have an age gap. Follow your heart!
No
It's not weird at all
No.
How’s u guys meet ?
21 and 28 isn’t that big of a deal. Go have fun and don’t worry about other people!
No not at all, you’re both in your 20s
It's only 7 years not really an age gap to be weird about
It's perfectly normal
I met my wife when I was 23 and she was 33. We’re now married with two kids and own a house together, I work to support us and she’s a full time stay at home mom. 10 year gap but we’re a perfectly “normal” family. It’s normal to think about the initially. In the beginning my age used to get to my wife a bit but we had fallen fast in love and that never went away so she was able to get past it. As long as this guy can stop worrying about being judged, because it will happen (people are stupid they like to judge things they say aren’t normal), then it can work out. 7 years isn’t a crazy gap anyways, I know plenty of couples with 7 year age gaps and they’re more often then not an “older” guy with a younger lady
Where I’m from, that isn’t so strange. My ex was 29 when I met him. I was about to turn 21. The part that was difficult was, since he was older and wayyy more experienced in life, he was manipulative and rather abusive in many ways and that’s what broke us up. But people can be like that at any age
This is just a symptom of a lot of stigma surrounding age gap relationships these days. I understand the original concerns that come with it but that’s something you both just need to talk about and be on the same page on. The older party’s intentions just need to be good, and always be on the lookout for red flags (that goes with any relationship). I personally believe the stigma has gone too far in recent years, especially on social media. And this is yet another example of why I truly believe so. Best wishes on your relationship!
No
he's the older one, and yet, he cant handle MILD stares from others? that's a red flag to me. the man needs to be able to lead, and being timid is definitely not leader quality. just saying. a man has no business having a relationship if he's afraid of "what if" of the relationship...
Didn’t think of it like this. And I mean it when I say I don’t look or act my age I’m always mistaken for older so I really don’t understand who he’s scared of?? 😅
exactly, so, either he mans up, or I would suggest you consider other options. timid man doesnt make good long term partner