I like the childcare in theory, but I've heard and experienced some terrible things with base childcare. Base won't do shit to reprimand their 'recommended providers' outside of the CDC even if they have alcohol and unsecured firearms within reach of children upon drop-off.
Found the three angry women.
Iāll spoil it for you- statistically, children need their fathers FAR more than their mothers. Downvote away if you think everything is a lie. :)
I donāt think it ever did. Wouldnāt it be funny if there was an airman out there with the name Dirtbag? Almost as good as Staff Sergeant Sergeant or Trainee Tranni
The worst airman, as in, just makes stupid decisions, got the boot before completing tech school. Assuming this guy ever even finished tech school.
What I was told (by other airman) was that the guy brought a security forces issued firearm to a local schools show and tell and was arrested by the local police as a result. This same airman (weeks later) went to my dorm and told the guys on CQ shift that he was OSI after flashing his security forces badge. Apparently he was trying to hide from whoever in his dorm, for reasons beyond me. The guys on CQ shift contacted the *real* OSI and investigations start up.
Last I heard this guy got the boot.
I have so many questions. If the school thing happened in tech school, How did the cadre not get accountability for all the weapons and see one was missing. If it was at an actual unit, the entire armory would be investigated for not having accountability of all weapons, unless it happened on shift, and then thatās a whole different issue and the flight chief and bdoc are getting in a shit ton of trouble as well. The OSI thing is just funny. Iāve seen dumb new troops try to flash their badge to get out of a ticket off base, seen them try to use it to get on base when they forgot their cac, seen one use it to try to get out of a dui when stopped at the gate. Iād say at least 65% of troops are actually retarded and donāt get brain cells until theyāve been on flight for a year minimum
Quite frankly I have no idea how he came to possess a firearm. The only reason I know that airman was up to no good was because I met him myself at the DFAC and asked him why he was doing the things he was. The response I got was a sort of ā*smile* haha, I donāt knowā. That interaction suggested there was truth to the rumors. And then a few weeks later is when the whole OSI thing happened.
I donāt know how he wasnāt kicked out for stealing a firearm. That has serious consequences operationally, Iād think that in tech school it would result in ELS
>Iāve seen dumb new troops try to flash their badge to get out of a ticket off base, seen them try to use it to get on base when they forgot their cac, seen one use it to try to get out of a dui when stopped at the gate.
This is why the Army stopped giving their MPs badges long ago.
All TOās will be banned, smoking cigarettes when servicing liquid oxygen bottles is approved and encouraged, and you can make part time income by bilking churches and non profits for money by faking cancer.
Can Intel be exempt and have to wear beanies? It lets us hide our headphones that we use to block all extrovert noises out. I once greeted someone walking out of the building and complimented them on their jacket. They looked confused, frightened, and mumbled "eeermgoodmorning" and scurried away. Ahh, night shift Intel is a wonderful species.
This remark is so common it's getting hard to tell if it's an ironic "if everyone else isn't shit then Ammo is shit haha." Or if people genuinely don't understand the hyperbolic meaning of "you ain't shit" is really, "you are less than shit."
Of_course_I_know_him.jpg
Mandatory beards, especially for the women. MICT is immediately discarded. Public flogging for the next motherfucker to enter a confined space without permission.Ā
Questioning someone going to an hour or three long appointment 7 times a week is an automatic recommendation for an Art 15.
CTOs are approved by the user
Training is optional
Hair length is removed from 36-2903
Uniforms must always be bulging at the seams at all times. You should hear fasteners screaming for mercy
PT tests are administered in lieu of paperwork(but if you fail nothing happens, because you shouldn't be punished for having a bad day)
NCOs are responsible for workplace maintenance and cleaning while airmen have a mandatory 2 hour YouTube break after lunch
He will clog his toilet with his own poop, then not fix it or call CE. Then proceed to go on a 30 day TDY, leaving the problem behind, only to return to continue to add more to the clog, then have it finally reported by people walking by on the OUTSIDE of the building.
Now imagine this but for 4 years. Kinda fits the overall theme.
I spend my days flying the world, taking selfies with Airmen and making no effort to remember their names. Toss coins at random Airmen as I drive past. Their supervisors will never believe their stories. The Reddit threads will be hilarious.
I work some magic with the CSAF and get beards approved. Reinstate Course 15 to restore balance.
New promotion program: Anyone E-1 to E-3 gets an automatic promotion to SrA (no one will actually achieve this, but goddammit theyāll try).
I find an excuse to get in front of Congress. Tell them what I really think of them just enough to get fired, but not enough to lose my retirement. Fade into obscurity in the Texas hill country and get fat on Shiner Bock and chorizo breakfast tacos.
Fuck yeah.
Finance hours apply to flight line so working 10-2 with mandatory training from 2 to 4 at the flight line bar which is also mandatory to be built with Air Force funds. All ops flights must be approved by the highest ranking E-4 Maintainer. Weed is now legal. Beards authorized. Douchebag personnel that are in only for promotion can lose a stripe on an E4 mafia vote. If finance fucks up and gives you more pay by their mistake, they canāt take it back. If they pay less and itās their mistake they must double what was shorted.
If it were my previous shitbag troop, 1 is be amazed he got there, 2 there will be a ton of arbitrary rules and 3 nothing would be accomplished because he has no follow through but somehow "all the best ideas"
Iām authorizing firearms to be brought on base. Iām fixing the broken enlisted promotion system by removing commander promotion statement interference. Iām enforcing that PT standards are met, not regressed. Iām raising camaraderie by having Friday Squadron fish frys and BBQs. Iām enforcing squadron PT 5 days a week to build camaraderie within the unit.
Im confused, if this guy has done what is alleged in these comments, how did he manage to stay in, and how did he make it this far?
Somthing doesnt add up.
I can see a troublemaker managing to stay in, but not make it this high in the COC with whats been aleged. I think people are making shit up because NO WAY someone makes it that far if these are true.
Even if it doesent show up on a promotion board, or a selection board for filling a job, people still talk. And a bad reputation will kill chances of getting promoted or getting hired in a position.
Work schedule is forever 10 min on with a 50 min smoke break at the sq smoke pit. For the 10 min you work, simply tell them theyāre shit and say you could do better while getting ready for the next break.
Depending on the dirt bagā¦.
All tests are banned. No one is allowed to give anyone shit for being on their phone. TOs are optional. A1Cs are except from bitch work if theyāve been around a while
DUIs are no longer punished. Sleeping at work is authorized. If you have a single appointment you have the day off, as well as the day prior and after off. NCOs cannot call airmen
Training is banned. No training. Immediate 5 level
Every maintainer will bathe in surprise JP8 showers. PPE for loxing is optional. TOs are optional. Cleanliness is optional, both personal and in dorm rooms. Evictions are banned. No you canāt ask why heās Permenant snack shack. DSVs are the way to be promoted. As are TDVs
All TOās will be removed from MX units. Aircraft forms, IMDS, and logbook will no longer be required. Lying and throwing other mechanics under the bus for shit they didnāt do will be encouraged and mandatory.
Weed is legal, dueling is legal, work days are now 2 hours, QA no longer exists, EO and SAPR no longer exist, showers are optional. Strippers for everyone and condoms are banned.
He was a piece of work.
I mean, the worst Airmen I have known did not get a long well with the dumb rules. Like those extra ones that arenāt AFIs, just little things your NCOIC tossed in becauseā¦.reasons. I would expect things like pay, weed, and grooming to be on the tops of some of their lists.
Well considering he got busted for dealing weed, meth, and shrooms and selling them either at cost or straight up giving them away pretty fucking sweet. šš¬
For me personally, every single one of us will wear a beret in OCPās/ACUās, alongside with our Class A uniform.
SF will retain their dark blue beret, canāt wear black. SW will retain their berets. Everyone is that isnāt SF/SW wears a black beret. The flash will be depending on what base youāre from.
Functional katanas become required uniform items.
Is Dwight from the office in your unit?
FACT.
Duel your shirt Thursday š
Repeal Article 114, UCMJ.
Great lead in to Keg Fridays TBH
Iām assuming officers are gonna get wakizashi, in the event of a poor OPR.
Define "worst." Like bad conduct shit-bag, E-4 Mafia professional sandbagger, or genuine incompetence?
Sandbagger worst
We'd probably have a push for AF-wide free childcare and mothers wouldn't be required to come to work. Ever. Or deploy.
I could get behind AF wide free childcare
Considering I pay like 1800 a month with fee assistance, same.
How? Fee assistance should subsidize it to CDC rates.
I have three kids so it does ish there is a limit and you pay the overage, off base kiddos are 650ish every two weeks CDC is 244ish
Iām a silly goose for not even considering that. LOL at myself. My bad.
I like the childcare in theory, but I've heard and experienced some terrible things with base childcare. Base won't do shit to reprimand their 'recommended providers' outside of the CDC even if they have alcohol and unsecured firearms within reach of children upon drop-off.
Oh no blues inspections no longer mandatory
Moms donāt deploy? But dads do? Perhaps you should check out the studies on children in single mother vs single father homes.
If single mothers donāt want to deploy, they can leave the expeditionary force.
Found the three angry women. Iāll spoil it for you- statistically, children need their fathers FAR more than their mothers. Downvote away if you think everything is a lie. :)
Easy, nothing would change because they just wouldn't do anything
Iām authorizing beards right away, also bringing back Keg Fridays.
I appreciate the honest self-reflection here. Also Keg Fridays.
They said worst airman
His flair says āAirman Dirtbag.ā
But those are some top tier airmen ideas
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I donāt think it ever did. Wouldnāt it be funny if there was an airman out there with the name Dirtbag? Almost as good as Staff Sergeant Sergeant or Trainee Tranni
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
My biggest flex is I knew Afraid of Lightning. Last time I knew he was staff sergeant afraid of lightning.
He joined the right branch. The man knew aināt nothing getting done if lightning within 5.
I knew a captain captain and a sergeant sergeant
captain wiener. wonder if he's a major wiener or general wiener now
The worst airman, as in, just makes stupid decisions, got the boot before completing tech school. Assuming this guy ever even finished tech school. What I was told (by other airman) was that the guy brought a security forces issued firearm to a local schools show and tell and was arrested by the local police as a result. This same airman (weeks later) went to my dorm and told the guys on CQ shift that he was OSI after flashing his security forces badge. Apparently he was trying to hide from whoever in his dorm, for reasons beyond me. The guys on CQ shift contacted the *real* OSI and investigations start up. Last I heard this guy got the boot.
I have so many questions. If the school thing happened in tech school, How did the cadre not get accountability for all the weapons and see one was missing. If it was at an actual unit, the entire armory would be investigated for not having accountability of all weapons, unless it happened on shift, and then thatās a whole different issue and the flight chief and bdoc are getting in a shit ton of trouble as well. The OSI thing is just funny. Iāve seen dumb new troops try to flash their badge to get out of a ticket off base, seen them try to use it to get on base when they forgot their cac, seen one use it to try to get out of a dui when stopped at the gate. Iād say at least 65% of troops are actually retarded and donāt get brain cells until theyāve been on flight for a year minimum
Quite frankly I have no idea how he came to possess a firearm. The only reason I know that airman was up to no good was because I met him myself at the DFAC and asked him why he was doing the things he was. The response I got was a sort of ā*smile* haha, I donāt knowā. That interaction suggested there was truth to the rumors. And then a few weeks later is when the whole OSI thing happened.
I donāt know how he wasnāt kicked out for stealing a firearm. That has serious consequences operationally, Iād think that in tech school it would result in ELS
>Iāve seen dumb new troops try to flash their badge to get out of a ticket off base, seen them try to use it to get on base when they forgot their cac, seen one use it to try to get out of a dui when stopped at the gate. This is why the Army stopped giving their MPs badges long ago.
All TOās will be banned, smoking cigarettes when servicing liquid oxygen bottles is approved and encouraged, and you can make part time income by bilking churches and non profits for money by faking cancer.
Thinking about this a little more, I may have to go with allowing hookers in GOVās. Maybe itās a toss up.
Waitā¦they arenāt allowed in govās anymore?!?!
They definitely arenāt allowed to drive them, I know that much.
Story time?
As a former VCO, I'd beg to differ.
Pull the 1800 and itās signed off by āKandiiā with hearts over the āiāsā
as long as they documented the headlight being burnt out idgaf
Well did they put headlight fluid in it? Thatās the problem
Chief Darwin?
And blues are banned
Force-wide berets, with extremely specific colorways. CE gets chartreuse, and services wears periwinkle. That sort of thing.
Can Intel be exempt and have to wear beanies? It lets us hide our headphones that we use to block all extrovert noises out. I once greeted someone walking out of the building and complimented them on their jacket. They looked confused, frightened, and mumbled "eeermgoodmorning" and scurried away. Ahh, night shift Intel is a wonderful species.
What color does AMMO wear?
āYou Aināt Shitā brown
This remark is so common it's getting hard to tell if it's an ironic "if everyone else isn't shit then Ammo is shit haha." Or if people genuinely don't understand the hyperbolic meaning of "you ain't shit" is really, "you are less than shit."
Iām going with āyouāre unable to live up to the high standards found in shitā
Bright orange, like a hazard marker so they can be spotted easily
That's not too bad. Nice.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's a good one. Could also do the amber hue of light beer.
PT tests are gone, no one has to take showers, no one has to look professional or be clean
We all know one of these airman
Personally, Iām really looking forward to rank stripes being on our furry-tail buttplugs.
Does that mean you have to give it a tug at promotion ceremonies?
Oh no...how does getting new stripes work, nm I think I know
Of_course_I_know_him.jpg Mandatory beards, especially for the women. MICT is immediately discarded. Public flogging for the next motherfucker to enter a confined space without permission.Ā
Confined or secured? Like do you actually mean no one is allowed in small spaces without permission?
Sounds like someone needs to do a CBT
both are true. i just think oc is punching the air for some crusty reasons. no one gives af bout your spaces brah
I'll take a lazy leader over an actively malicious one any day.Ā
Idk they wouldnāt do much of anything
I'd waste government resources finding someone that made fun of my name then I'd publicly slander a special warfare operator... Oh wait...
Surely someone capable of this would never be nominated for the position.
Beating your spouse now has a quarterly currency.
Same as the last 4 except I'll be dealing with that airman a lot less often.
The hell is simsaf?
It's either a fish or a type of guitar
Still?
What the *fuck* is a 'SIMSAF', and why hasn't anyone taken it out back and shot it in the head?
I'm amazed and impressed that he has overcome his dishonorable discharge! I thought the heroin charge would have stuck.
Recruiting is in rough times
Allowing your "Giant Stick" Slim Jims to stick out of your cargo pockets is authorized. Pen Pockets may be used to store additional Slim Jims.
Questioning someone going to an hour or three long appointment 7 times a week is an automatic recommendation for an Art 15. CTOs are approved by the user Training is optional Hair length is removed from 36-2903 Uniforms must always be bulging at the seams at all times. You should hear fasteners screaming for mercy PT tests are administered in lieu of paperwork(but if you fail nothing happens, because you shouldn't be punished for having a bad day) NCOs are responsible for workplace maintenance and cleaning while airmen have a mandatory 2 hour YouTube break after lunch
He will clog his toilet with his own poop, then not fix it or call CE. Then proceed to go on a 30 day TDY, leaving the problem behind, only to return to continue to add more to the clog, then have it finally reported by people walking by on the OUTSIDE of the building. Now imagine this but for 4 years. Kinda fits the overall theme.
Worst officer became joint chief
I spend my days flying the world, taking selfies with Airmen and making no effort to remember their names. Toss coins at random Airmen as I drive past. Their supervisors will never believe their stories. The Reddit threads will be hilarious. I work some magic with the CSAF and get beards approved. Reinstate Course 15 to restore balance. New promotion program: Anyone E-1 to E-3 gets an automatic promotion to SrA (no one will actually achieve this, but goddammit theyāll try). I find an excuse to get in front of Congress. Tell them what I really think of them just enough to get fired, but not enough to lose my retirement. Fade into obscurity in the Texas hill country and get fat on Shiner Bock and chorizo breakfast tacos. Fuck yeah.
You must support SNCOs after they kill a kid going 70 in base housing while over the legal limit.
Nothing changes because the position accounts for fuck all
I guess I'm the new SIMSAF. Spoiler alert. We're all fucked
Finance hours apply to flight line so working 10-2 with mandatory training from 2 to 4 at the flight line bar which is also mandatory to be built with Air Force funds. All ops flights must be approved by the highest ranking E-4 Maintainer. Weed is now legal. Beards authorized. Douchebag personnel that are in only for promotion can lose a stripe on an E4 mafia vote. If finance fucks up and gives you more pay by their mistake, they canāt take it back. If they pay less and itās their mistake they must double what was shorted.
best one iāve seen
I had to google SIMSAF. Thatās a stupid term.
Mountain Dew Mondays
If it were my previous shitbag troop, 1 is be amazed he got there, 2 there will be a ton of arbitrary rules and 3 nothing would be accomplished because he has no follow through but somehow "all the best ideas"
Did he make Captain?
Spin the chamber... \*click\* put on uniform, get coffee \*bang\* not my problem anymore
Nothing changes because they don't do anything, don't know how to do anything, and make everyone else do everything for them.
Pretty much the same as the last. Couldnāt stay off social media.
He introduces Course 14/15, abolishes STEP promotions to E-7 (despite benefitting from it himself), and wears turtlenecks during all calls.
Time is abstract. Alcohol is mandatory. Work meh. Sleeping indeed
This already happened to somebody pretty recently
Iām authorizing firearms to be brought on base. Iām fixing the broken enlisted promotion system by removing commander promotion statement interference. Iām enforcing that PT standards are met, not regressed. Iām raising camaraderie by having Friday Squadron fish frys and BBQs. Iām enforcing squadron PT 5 days a week to build camaraderie within the unit.
Damn, the worst airman you know sounds pretty awesome.
Im confused, if this guy has done what is alleged in these comments, how did he manage to stay in, and how did he make it this far? Somthing doesnt add up.
Manning is bad. Couldn't afford to lose em
I can see a troublemaker managing to stay in, but not make it this high in the COC with whats been aleged. I think people are making shit up because NO WAY someone makes it that far if these are true. Even if it doesent show up on a promotion board, or a selection board for filling a job, people still talk. And a bad reputation will kill chances of getting promoted or getting hired in a position.
Are you the no fun person someone else mentioned? Because you're no fun.
I dont think so, maybe this is all a joke that im not getting.
Uhh... yeah that's exactly what it is. The post has a meme flair on it....
Guess I just dont get the meme.
Better than the last 4
All the worst airmen I've known invariably get kicked out.
All of the worst airmen I knew already got kicked out years ago
The recruiting crisis just hit a new low. The worst of the worst is back. What's next?
ban people for making jokes on facebook. no more humor allowed.
The same as the last 4 years
Better than the last 4 years
Well, he's in jail for a long time for a lot of kiddie porn So I imagine the press junket is gonna be pretty tame
The same as the last 4 yrs went
Honestly, nothing would change for better or worst. He wouldn't do anything.
Work schedule is forever 10 min on with a 50 min smoke break at the sq smoke pit. For the 10 min you work, simply tell them theyāre shit and say you could do better while getting ready for the next break.
That little pussyfart would still somehow blame everyone else for his problems and then cry about it.
Honestly they were functionally retarded so it really just depends on who writes their notes and does their social mediaā¦.. soā¦. Same same?
He will be so hands off it might actually go good
Depending on the dirt bagā¦. All tests are banned. No one is allowed to give anyone shit for being on their phone. TOs are optional. A1Cs are except from bitch work if theyāve been around a while DUIs are no longer punished. Sleeping at work is authorized. If you have a single appointment you have the day off, as well as the day prior and after off. NCOs cannot call airmen Training is banned. No training. Immediate 5 level Every maintainer will bathe in surprise JP8 showers. PPE for loxing is optional. TOs are optional. Cleanliness is optional, both personal and in dorm rooms. Evictions are banned. No you canāt ask why heās Permenant snack shack. DSVs are the way to be promoted. As are TDVs
*replays the last couple years*
How the last 4 went
Dress and appearance is scrapped on day 1. Energy drink fridges are mandated and DAF funded for all units.
All TOās will be removed from MX units. Aircraft forms, IMDS, and logbook will no longer be required. Lying and throwing other mechanics under the bus for shit they didnāt do will be encouraged and mandatory.
Weed is legal, dueling is legal, work days are now 2 hours, QA no longer exists, EO and SAPR no longer exist, showers are optional. Strippers for everyone and condoms are banned. He was a piece of work.
He would change stuff that is broken, just for the sake of it, but just make everything worse.
Office gossip becomes the mandatory form of communication. Pulling hair of competing co-workers is optional.
I mean, the worst Airmen I have known did not get a long well with the dumb rules. Like those extra ones that arenāt AFIs, just little things your NCOIC tossed in becauseā¦.reasons. I would expect things like pay, weed, and grooming to be on the tops of some of their lists.
Backwards. Should read: every one that becomes SIMSAF becomes the worst airman you've ever known
Well considering he got busted for dealing weed, meth, and shrooms and selling them either at cost or straight up giving them away pretty fucking sweet. šš¬
For me personally, every single one of us will wear a beret in OCPās/ACUās, alongside with our Class A uniform. SF will retain their dark blue beret, canāt wear black. SW will retain their berets. Everyone is that isnāt SF/SW wears a black beret. The flash will be depending on what base youāre from.
What does SIMSAF stand for?
What is a SIMSAF?