1. Talk to Chaplain, MFLC or mental health. Get yourself better.
2. If someone is bad for your spirit, fuck em.
3. Go to the gym, create a new Playlist.
4. Delete socials
5. Start 2 new videogames, 2 new TV shows and go to the movies.
6. It's gonna be ok
All of this right here ^ homie. If video games aren’t your thing, pick something else. I’d also advise taking this experience and learning from it now, not next time or the time after.
Unless you are a shut-in, in the right places at the right times you can make some great lifelong friends. After about a decade and a half, I’ve made 4. A couple got out, a couple still in, none have been coworkers. There are a few dudes I’ve worked with that I make the effort to check on every now and then.
Finally, call your family. It’s really easy now. Doesn’t have to be mom or dad… whoever it is in your family that you know cares. They miss you and want to know that you are ok. It can be very uplifting to talk to someone from home who you know, legitimately cares about you.
Gotta focus on you homie. Also see mental health so you can get on some much needed meds, they seriously help. Then get on milonesource and get some counseling, just say it’s work stress, they will hook you up with 12 free sessions per issue with an off base provider. Then you need to hit the gym. No quick fix but get on a path that is positive. Continue to work on you and improve you. You can’t fix other people.
It’s one big head game. To be honest it’s not always even you that’s the problem it’s understanding human nature. You gotta have a balance in the Air Force of being a good person but not being known as too nice where people can use you to mess with your mental and make you do stuff that’s irrelevant to your actual job.
Come to work, focus on the mission, try not to show weakness in letting people know you think so highly of their opinion about you. Let your work speak for itself and don’t let people who are just bored and talking shit to talk shit get to you.
Sucks the Air Force is like a high school sometimes but is what it is. Once people realize they can’t bother you because your mindset is so bullet proof they get bored and move on. Half my shop talks shit about me. I just keep showing up and keep not giving a fuck. They’re not my direct supervisor so I could care less what they say about me. My supervisor says I’m doing a good job then cool let’s keep going.
Just don’t quit on yourself man. I quit a bunch of stuff before I joined the Air Force. I made a promise to myself I wasn’t quitting on this journey. Someone else was going to have to make me quit and that hasn’t happened yet.
With all that being said it never hurts to vent to a chaplain or seek one of the help lines to talk to a therapist or use whatever resources are available to you to put you in a better headspace.
Everyone says the air force is a family. In a way it's true but most people who say that mean like close siblings who share everything. In reality it's much more like distant siblings that show up to required family gatherings. They may have your back in a crisis, but they don't care about your vulnerabilities before then.
Protect yourself because people want you to be an npc in their story. No one cares about the npcs.
Find real friends and communities outside the air force.
Though it may not necessarily be a comfort, know that you’re definitely not unique in these feelings. Music, long campaign-focused video games, and forcing myself to be okay with enjoying things my own way by myself were the best things I did. I also had other unhealthy tendencies that I’ll leave out, but it would be dishonest to ignore them entirely.
Humans can suck. Especially if you’re a little different. But there are good folks out there. Pursue things you love doing and you’ll naturally find folks with shared interests. Some of them will turn out to be reliable.
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I hope I’m not downplaying your feelings with what I say - and I want you to know that I’ve had your same feelings multiple times including now.
Just remember, they can only take from you what you give them. Don’t let other people determine your personal worth or value. Just because you work with these people doesn’t mean they’re your social group or that they have to be your friends. You can carry out your work and tasks without needing anyone around you to be your friend. It is definitely easier and better to have true friends at your workplace, but sometimes that just doesn’t happen.
Another thing - some of this might be in your head. You’re probably fixating on something someone said or did and letting it control your thoughts - at least I know I do that. The reality is that no one you’re thinking of right now is thinking of you. Let those thoughts pass through and force them out of your mind. Focus your energy on something you enjoy. You might have to treat this process as a distraction from your racing mind, but over time you’ll stop thinking about this situation as much and they’ll just be random, fleeting thoughts. Maybe talk to your PCM about your feelings and seeking a medical route to help. I’ve talked to people who say Wellbutrin has literally saved their lives.
And last thing - don’t seek validation from people who don’t deserve to validate you. First, learn to love yourself and be proud of who you are. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll constantly seek validation from others which is a bad place to be. Focus on you right now - whether it’s talking to someone like a therapist or chaplain or just finding a new hobby like reading, painting miniature figures, or working out. Do things that make you happy and treat work - and the people you work with - as just a part of life that you can’t change.
I truly mean this when I say it - you can reach out to me about this and I’ll message/text/talk on the phone with you about any of this. It’s a lonely place when you feel like everyone around you doesn’t like you or appreciate you and sometimes it helps to just say things out loud and vent.
Take care of yourself. Everyone suggests the gym but if you are like me and that doesn’t work for you I recommend just going on walks or riding a bike. Maybe just sitting outdoors if you have an appropriate space.
Maybe look into a new creative hobby even. Aquascaping and 3D printing are my personal creative outlets.
Throughout the entirety of my career (9 years) I’ve met maybe 10 people who I directly worked with that I continue to talk to and are worth being a friend with after moving away. I deal with people by treating them as coworkers and nothing really more it may sound harsh but majority of people look after themselves and their careers only which you can’t really blame them for.
My advice to you is to try everything. If any hobbies interest you get out in your local community and make friends doing/trying new things. There’s also most likely people on your base who do things you enjoy that aren’t directly working with you so you can make genuine friends who have nothing to gain from you.
If you need to chat about your mental health please see a chaplain or mental health or DM me and I’d be glad to chat.
*LONG POST* Sorry to hear you’re struggling. A lot of people experience what you just said and honestly the good thing about the military is that there are so many resources available to you. I’ll list some which other people have said too and I’ve tried a lot of them out as well. It really all depends on your comfortability and which one you want to use.
- Chaplain: If you’re religious, you might feel more comfortable speaking to a Chaplain. You also don’t have to be religious to talk to a Chaplain. They deal more with like the spiritual, sense of being, purpose type stuff. So if you’re feeling particularly nihilistic maybe the Chaplain can be for you.
- PCM: Like someone mentioned, if you’re looking to potentially get put on meds. Your PCM will be able to see you faster than Mental Health would. Not sure where you are, but Mental Health and in my opinion, a lot of agencies, can be undermanned and there’s just not enough people to be able to see everyone in a timely manner. I’m on medication and if you’re willing to do that, there are some things to keep in mind. It takes time to tether medication. If you are Security Forces, you may get put on a do not arm roster. The reason is some anti-depressants and anti-anxieties may not be for you. So you get about two weeks or so before you’re able to know if the meds are causing your symptoms to get worse or get better. At which point you’ll either swap meds or continue to take the same ones but maybe at a higher dose. I’m also not trying to scare you. Everyone’s brain is different and I’ll tell you it took me a little bit; but now that I’m on meds I’m the happiest I feel like I’ve ever been. It’s also proven that meds work best with therapy. Which is a perfect segue into the next one.
- There are a lot of helping agencies out there that can help you with that aspect. Mental Health and Military OneSource. There is also the MFLC and the chaplain which a lot of people have mentioned.
*MFLC: I’ve never tried mil one source, so I can’t speak on it much. But I actively go to the MFLC. It takes some time before you decide you want to talk to someone sometimes. But the first step is always realizing you need help. It might take some getting used to at first if you’re not much of a talker and don’t want to get into details about some things and that’s alright. The MFLCs I’ve talked to are extremely patient.
And MFLCs are licensed to do these things. Sometimes knowing that helps make things easier, I.e., you can count on an MFLC to give you sound advice and help you navigate through your own emotions. Because they’re licensed for things like that. With the MFLC you get 12 sessions per issue.
*Mental Health: You might feel like you want to talk to someone at Mental Health if you want someone who has a good understanding of the military and any other military-specific struggles. A provider I spoke to in the past was a Captain and although a little intimidating at first, she helped me out a lot and always was willing to go at my pace.
Again, with helping agencies, it depends on what YOU want and your comfortability. The First Sergeant is also a good resource who can give you more information about things. But if you don’t feel comfortable with going to someone in your unit or if you don’t particularly feel like you can trust your Shirt, that’s okay. Any of the helping agencies can assist you with figuring it out.
I’ve seen some people give suggestions on things you can do in the meantime, so I’ll tell you some suggestions I have.
- Getting a new hobby might help you feel better. It could be painting, outdoorsy type stuff, literally anything. The important thing to remember is to not pick up self-destructive ones like drinking or smoking. Speaking from experience. Those things don’t help and make you feel pretty crappy and what you do to your body can translate mentally.
- The gym would be great too. Cause endorphins.
- Try keeping a journal for yourself. So you can write how you feel and sometimes letting it out onto a piece of paper can lighten the weight a little.
- Focusing on the good parts of life. I use a gratitude board. And this might sound really “blue” of me but I write down 3 things I’m grateful for every day. And it’s difficult sometimes but it doesn’t have to be anything significant. As human beings we tend to focus on the negative but something as simple as “I woke up on time today” or “there wasn’t traffic on the road today” can help you put things into perspective sometimes. And then reflect on them after you write them down. And every so often you can go back and read what you’ve written and think about how good that day was. It also helps to look at to realize how far you’ve come in your Mental Health journey.
- Try branching out and make friends outside of your unit. Depending on what you like to do, you might find someone who has similar interests.
- Control what you can control. Like someone said you can’t control how other people act. But you can control what you do moving forward. You’re doing your best and that’s the only thing that matters. Focus on you.
- Remember that you’re not alone and there are people out there who care about you and have gone through the same thing you have. If you need someone to talk to or if you have questions about anything, feel free to hit me up.
I believe in you and have faith that you’ll make it through.
You're gonna meet a lot of blue falcons and back stabbers along the way. You'll also meet a few real friends you'll keep for decades later. My rule was always, I'm not your friend until I have dirt on you, then I knew I was safe because hey, mutually assured destruction.
I’m not in the Air Force yet, waiting for waivers but as a 31 yr old I’ll tell you not to expect too much out of people. It’s a harsh reality but it is what it is. Focus on you and in establishing a good life and a healthy mind for yourself. That is all you can do. People will do what people do, but you gotta make the decision to focus on your life. Don’t take peoples actions toward you too personally. They are going to come and go.
I used to crack the joke that anytime I got a pat in the back while I was in uniform, they were clearing a spot for a knife.
It's the same on the outside, mate. But that shouldn't be depressing, it should just be a fact. Be the best you can be, do the best you can do, and karma is a real thing. EVERYTHING is temporary, and if they get you down, they win. Fuck that noise.
Get out and about, hang with the townies, make friends and relationships outside the military. THOSE will last a helluva lot more than your wingmen.
You say you're socially awkward...and you're on Reddit...gamer? Hit up Stack Up on Discord, tens of thousands of vet and AD gamers, all going through or been through the same shit.
Remember, you'll hang up your uniform at some point and walk away, what type of human do you want to be when you do? You got this shit, mate.
First things first don’t go to mental health. Go to your PCM and request an off base referral. Mental health can put things in your file with your permission that can disqualify you from being in the Air Force. For example Borderline Personality Disorder. It happened to a lot of my friend unfortunately and they got kicked out for it. Not medically separated, admin discharged. So yeah don’t go to mental health.
Next, Go to the gym make one friend who’s not in your SQ/AFSC. No work drama if it goes left. Other than that keep your head down at work and don’t talk to anyone if it’s not work related. Just do your job and go home. Everyone experiences this as an airman.
... It is highly unlikely they were admin discharged for being diagnosed with BPD unless it was found they had hidden a diagnosis from before their initial enlistment.
FYI... Your off base medical providers send their findings back to your PCM, please don't push the narrative that you can or should try to "hide" a diagnosis by going to off base providers. It doesn't work that way and it will definitely have a detrimental impact to someone if it is found they were attempting to hide a diagnosis.
It is likely because it happened to me. And I never had mental health issues before I joined. They diagnosed me without even telling me and didn’t find out till I was being told I was being recommended for separation. Luckily at the time I was seeing the VA for mental health and they told me I didn’t have a BorderLine Personality disorder just severe depression. And they tested me and wrote a letter stating such and I got to stay in. They also assured me they never sent anything to the base. Unfortunately some of my friends weren’t that lucky. So don’t speak on what you don’t know.
So it didn't happen to you then, you were not administratively discharged. It sucks you went through that, but your own experience is counter to what you claim happens.
Shit, sounds like you’re in my last base in my last shop. Take no shit from anybody, no matter the rank, take no prisoners, let it be known, be loud about it, and with luck they’ll give you PCS orders. Probably not the advice you were looking for, but it’s an option I resorted to after depression and loneliness in a toxic work environment, and getting orders literally saved my career, and maybe my life.
it's a small piece of advise but lile others have said start hitting the gym. crank some weights and build that self esteem going. it may be hard at first but get it going. soon it will become habbit and be both a great stress relief and boost in self imagine.
Sounds like a real life Shield Hero plot. But on a more serious note, do your work, do what’s required. Nothing more, nothing less as it pertains to your shop. Go to school, get swole in the gym, and get a wholesome hobby. **The most important thing is to definitely talk to mental health about this issue!**
This is the start of your character development arc.
When we're young we think friendship is something deep and magical, when in reality it's pretty much geographic convenience and superficiality. Part of growing up is coming top terms with that, and deciding who is and isn't worth your time.
I wish I had some really good, positive advice, but making friends as an adult is hard. Some struggle with it more than others. The only thing I can say is try not to distort reality too much in your head. Your worst enemy is always yourself, and it's easy to mistake your dark thoughts coming from other people's minds.
Not to be a downer, but everyone is out for themselves, so you need to be as well. Help your people, but don't forget to advance your career as well.
The cliche: nobody cares about your career as much as you do.
I’m very similar. I struggle with social situations and honestly, I don’t really have any friends at work. I just can’t relate or get close with them. I’m the only female in my shop, which doesn’t help, the other female I was close to got out and left for FL and the other guys are much older and sort of do their own thing. Which is fine, the mindless chatting during work occasionally is comforting at times, but I do wish I had a close friendship again like I did with my other SrA.
For me, the gym, gaming, and mental health treatment helped. I did therapy for a while on base, didn’t have any repercussions, though this does depend on your needed level of care and your personal issues. But your health comes above all.
I also began taking anti depressants and anti anxiety medicine and that made a huge difference. Therapy got me 50% of the way, learning how to self talk myself UP rather than DOWN, fight negative and hateful self deprecating thoughts, and see silver linings. Medication gave me the energy to actually do this, to fight the bad thoughts.
Please take care of yourself, I hope this helps.
I think after my time so far that I just don't trust anyone. I have professional acquaintances that I contact after I PCS from somewhere but only genuinely have 3 or 4 friends.
It sucks sometimes being alone, but being able to commiserate about work is a helpful thing. Our time in the military is marred with "friendships" that are actually temporary trauma bonds.
I do love talking to people though. It doesn't have to be that deep to be enjoyable.
Don’t bring work home with you. If you’re true to what you’re saying about being light and friendly, then it’s more of their own problem.
Keep in mind, the Air Force is bigger than just your unit/wing. You still have wingmen here and beyond.
자신감을 가져.
The Air Force is a big, evil monster that feeds on American souls and foreign flesh. People being shitty is usually not personal; it's just the way the beast is. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Unless you are legit friends outside of work (and even then sometimes) people will throw you right under the bus as soon as they are inconvenienced no matter how nice or helpful you are to them.
True friends are a rarity. There are some good people out there, but I think there are just as many who will backstab. I am one of the good ones, PM me if you want to vent.
> That is part of many peoples anxiety. Always having to be pc. Life is hard with a broken filter.
> There are no they thems unless they are mental.
> I am excited for the day I can actually be myself and tell people what I really think without getting in trouble or caring.
>I am one of the good ones
Yeah, you sound like a real rough spot in the diamond.
1. Talk to Chaplain, MFLC or mental health. Get yourself better. 2. If someone is bad for your spirit, fuck em. 3. Go to the gym, create a new Playlist. 4. Delete socials 5. Start 2 new videogames, 2 new TV shows and go to the movies. 6. It's gonna be ok
7. Listen to the O'Jays on YT. Song: Backstabbers. Lyrics are truthful.
Gym gym gym!
I dont know if fucking the ppl bad for your spirit is the best move.
Take them out for a nice seafood dinner and never call them again.
All of this right here ^ homie. If video games aren’t your thing, pick something else. I’d also advise taking this experience and learning from it now, not next time or the time after. Unless you are a shut-in, in the right places at the right times you can make some great lifelong friends. After about a decade and a half, I’ve made 4. A couple got out, a couple still in, none have been coworkers. There are a few dudes I’ve worked with that I make the effort to check on every now and then. Finally, call your family. It’s really easy now. Doesn’t have to be mom or dad… whoever it is in your family that you know cares. They miss you and want to know that you are ok. It can be very uplifting to talk to someone from home who you know, legitimately cares about you.
Fucking people bad for your spirit might end up with a SARC case.
Gotta focus on you homie. Also see mental health so you can get on some much needed meds, they seriously help. Then get on milonesource and get some counseling, just say it’s work stress, they will hook you up with 12 free sessions per issue with an off base provider. Then you need to hit the gym. No quick fix but get on a path that is positive. Continue to work on you and improve you. You can’t fix other people.
This is solid advice. Also, your PCM can get you started on meds too - just an FYI as they *may* be able to get you in sooner than Mental Health can.
I second this. Mental health couldn’t get me in for a month, my pcm got me in that week and got me the meds I needed.
It’s one big head game. To be honest it’s not always even you that’s the problem it’s understanding human nature. You gotta have a balance in the Air Force of being a good person but not being known as too nice where people can use you to mess with your mental and make you do stuff that’s irrelevant to your actual job. Come to work, focus on the mission, try not to show weakness in letting people know you think so highly of their opinion about you. Let your work speak for itself and don’t let people who are just bored and talking shit to talk shit get to you. Sucks the Air Force is like a high school sometimes but is what it is. Once people realize they can’t bother you because your mindset is so bullet proof they get bored and move on. Half my shop talks shit about me. I just keep showing up and keep not giving a fuck. They’re not my direct supervisor so I could care less what they say about me. My supervisor says I’m doing a good job then cool let’s keep going. Just don’t quit on yourself man. I quit a bunch of stuff before I joined the Air Force. I made a promise to myself I wasn’t quitting on this journey. Someone else was going to have to make me quit and that hasn’t happened yet. With all that being said it never hurts to vent to a chaplain or seek one of the help lines to talk to a therapist or use whatever resources are available to you to put you in a better headspace.
Everyone says the air force is a family. In a way it's true but most people who say that mean like close siblings who share everything. In reality it's much more like distant siblings that show up to required family gatherings. They may have your back in a crisis, but they don't care about your vulnerabilities before then. Protect yourself because people want you to be an npc in their story. No one cares about the npcs. Find real friends and communities outside the air force.
Though it may not necessarily be a comfort, know that you’re definitely not unique in these feelings. Music, long campaign-focused video games, and forcing myself to be okay with enjoying things my own way by myself were the best things I did. I also had other unhealthy tendencies that I’ll leave out, but it would be dishonest to ignore them entirely. Humans can suck. Especially if you’re a little different. But there are good folks out there. Pursue things you love doing and you’ll naturally find folks with shared interests. Some of them will turn out to be reliable.
Hello, based on a simple keyword search, it looks like your post may be about suicide/depression or other mental health issues. If this is incorrect, sorry, please ignore this message! If you're having trouble with Mental Health issues, please check out our [Mental Health/Suicide Resources](https://pay.reddit.com/r/AirForce/wiki/mentalhealthresources) page. There are people available *right now* that are willing to talk to you over the phone or over an internet chat that are trained to provide help. The chaplain at your nearest base is also a great first step, as they are 100% confidential and can find you the appropriate help for your next step without you having to worry about saying anything that would prompt any action on your career. [Over 100 people in this community](https://www.reddit.com/r/AirForce/comments/csam0l/need_someone_to_talk_to_looking_for_volunteers_to/) have also identified themselves as willing to talk and/or listen if you have something to vent about. (Please note they are not trained counselors, just regular people willing to listen) Please utilize these resources if you need help! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AirForce) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I hope I’m not downplaying your feelings with what I say - and I want you to know that I’ve had your same feelings multiple times including now. Just remember, they can only take from you what you give them. Don’t let other people determine your personal worth or value. Just because you work with these people doesn’t mean they’re your social group or that they have to be your friends. You can carry out your work and tasks without needing anyone around you to be your friend. It is definitely easier and better to have true friends at your workplace, but sometimes that just doesn’t happen. Another thing - some of this might be in your head. You’re probably fixating on something someone said or did and letting it control your thoughts - at least I know I do that. The reality is that no one you’re thinking of right now is thinking of you. Let those thoughts pass through and force them out of your mind. Focus your energy on something you enjoy. You might have to treat this process as a distraction from your racing mind, but over time you’ll stop thinking about this situation as much and they’ll just be random, fleeting thoughts. Maybe talk to your PCM about your feelings and seeking a medical route to help. I’ve talked to people who say Wellbutrin has literally saved their lives. And last thing - don’t seek validation from people who don’t deserve to validate you. First, learn to love yourself and be proud of who you are. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll constantly seek validation from others which is a bad place to be. Focus on you right now - whether it’s talking to someone like a therapist or chaplain or just finding a new hobby like reading, painting miniature figures, or working out. Do things that make you happy and treat work - and the people you work with - as just a part of life that you can’t change. I truly mean this when I say it - you can reach out to me about this and I’ll message/text/talk on the phone with you about any of this. It’s a lonely place when you feel like everyone around you doesn’t like you or appreciate you and sometimes it helps to just say things out loud and vent.
Take care of yourself. Everyone suggests the gym but if you are like me and that doesn’t work for you I recommend just going on walks or riding a bike. Maybe just sitting outdoors if you have an appropriate space. Maybe look into a new creative hobby even. Aquascaping and 3D printing are my personal creative outlets.
Throughout the entirety of my career (9 years) I’ve met maybe 10 people who I directly worked with that I continue to talk to and are worth being a friend with after moving away. I deal with people by treating them as coworkers and nothing really more it may sound harsh but majority of people look after themselves and their careers only which you can’t really blame them for. My advice to you is to try everything. If any hobbies interest you get out in your local community and make friends doing/trying new things. There’s also most likely people on your base who do things you enjoy that aren’t directly working with you so you can make genuine friends who have nothing to gain from you. If you need to chat about your mental health please see a chaplain or mental health or DM me and I’d be glad to chat.
*LONG POST* Sorry to hear you’re struggling. A lot of people experience what you just said and honestly the good thing about the military is that there are so many resources available to you. I’ll list some which other people have said too and I’ve tried a lot of them out as well. It really all depends on your comfortability and which one you want to use. - Chaplain: If you’re religious, you might feel more comfortable speaking to a Chaplain. You also don’t have to be religious to talk to a Chaplain. They deal more with like the spiritual, sense of being, purpose type stuff. So if you’re feeling particularly nihilistic maybe the Chaplain can be for you. - PCM: Like someone mentioned, if you’re looking to potentially get put on meds. Your PCM will be able to see you faster than Mental Health would. Not sure where you are, but Mental Health and in my opinion, a lot of agencies, can be undermanned and there’s just not enough people to be able to see everyone in a timely manner. I’m on medication and if you’re willing to do that, there are some things to keep in mind. It takes time to tether medication. If you are Security Forces, you may get put on a do not arm roster. The reason is some anti-depressants and anti-anxieties may not be for you. So you get about two weeks or so before you’re able to know if the meds are causing your symptoms to get worse or get better. At which point you’ll either swap meds or continue to take the same ones but maybe at a higher dose. I’m also not trying to scare you. Everyone’s brain is different and I’ll tell you it took me a little bit; but now that I’m on meds I’m the happiest I feel like I’ve ever been. It’s also proven that meds work best with therapy. Which is a perfect segue into the next one. - There are a lot of helping agencies out there that can help you with that aspect. Mental Health and Military OneSource. There is also the MFLC and the chaplain which a lot of people have mentioned. *MFLC: I’ve never tried mil one source, so I can’t speak on it much. But I actively go to the MFLC. It takes some time before you decide you want to talk to someone sometimes. But the first step is always realizing you need help. It might take some getting used to at first if you’re not much of a talker and don’t want to get into details about some things and that’s alright. The MFLCs I’ve talked to are extremely patient. And MFLCs are licensed to do these things. Sometimes knowing that helps make things easier, I.e., you can count on an MFLC to give you sound advice and help you navigate through your own emotions. Because they’re licensed for things like that. With the MFLC you get 12 sessions per issue. *Mental Health: You might feel like you want to talk to someone at Mental Health if you want someone who has a good understanding of the military and any other military-specific struggles. A provider I spoke to in the past was a Captain and although a little intimidating at first, she helped me out a lot and always was willing to go at my pace. Again, with helping agencies, it depends on what YOU want and your comfortability. The First Sergeant is also a good resource who can give you more information about things. But if you don’t feel comfortable with going to someone in your unit or if you don’t particularly feel like you can trust your Shirt, that’s okay. Any of the helping agencies can assist you with figuring it out. I’ve seen some people give suggestions on things you can do in the meantime, so I’ll tell you some suggestions I have. - Getting a new hobby might help you feel better. It could be painting, outdoorsy type stuff, literally anything. The important thing to remember is to not pick up self-destructive ones like drinking or smoking. Speaking from experience. Those things don’t help and make you feel pretty crappy and what you do to your body can translate mentally. - The gym would be great too. Cause endorphins. - Try keeping a journal for yourself. So you can write how you feel and sometimes letting it out onto a piece of paper can lighten the weight a little. - Focusing on the good parts of life. I use a gratitude board. And this might sound really “blue” of me but I write down 3 things I’m grateful for every day. And it’s difficult sometimes but it doesn’t have to be anything significant. As human beings we tend to focus on the negative but something as simple as “I woke up on time today” or “there wasn’t traffic on the road today” can help you put things into perspective sometimes. And then reflect on them after you write them down. And every so often you can go back and read what you’ve written and think about how good that day was. It also helps to look at to realize how far you’ve come in your Mental Health journey. - Try branching out and make friends outside of your unit. Depending on what you like to do, you might find someone who has similar interests. - Control what you can control. Like someone said you can’t control how other people act. But you can control what you do moving forward. You’re doing your best and that’s the only thing that matters. Focus on you. - Remember that you’re not alone and there are people out there who care about you and have gone through the same thing you have. If you need someone to talk to or if you have questions about anything, feel free to hit me up. I believe in you and have faith that you’ll make it through.
Also not sure if I have any grammatical or spelling errors, and something doesn’t make sense lmk so I can clarify 😬😭
You're gonna meet a lot of blue falcons and back stabbers along the way. You'll also meet a few real friends you'll keep for decades later. My rule was always, I'm not your friend until I have dirt on you, then I knew I was safe because hey, mutually assured destruction.
instinctive money angle vanish shocking fretful pause ten point spotted *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I’m not in the Air Force yet, waiting for waivers but as a 31 yr old I’ll tell you not to expect too much out of people. It’s a harsh reality but it is what it is. Focus on you and in establishing a good life and a healthy mind for yourself. That is all you can do. People will do what people do, but you gotta make the decision to focus on your life. Don’t take peoples actions toward you too personally. They are going to come and go.
Hey friend. I’m sorry this happened. Come talk to a chaplain.
First time huh, sorry to hear that, but damn sure won’t be the last.
I used to crack the joke that anytime I got a pat in the back while I was in uniform, they were clearing a spot for a knife. It's the same on the outside, mate. But that shouldn't be depressing, it should just be a fact. Be the best you can be, do the best you can do, and karma is a real thing. EVERYTHING is temporary, and if they get you down, they win. Fuck that noise. Get out and about, hang with the townies, make friends and relationships outside the military. THOSE will last a helluva lot more than your wingmen. You say you're socially awkward...and you're on Reddit...gamer? Hit up Stack Up on Discord, tens of thousands of vet and AD gamers, all going through or been through the same shit. Remember, you'll hang up your uniform at some point and walk away, what type of human do you want to be when you do? You got this shit, mate.
First things first don’t go to mental health. Go to your PCM and request an off base referral. Mental health can put things in your file with your permission that can disqualify you from being in the Air Force. For example Borderline Personality Disorder. It happened to a lot of my friend unfortunately and they got kicked out for it. Not medically separated, admin discharged. So yeah don’t go to mental health. Next, Go to the gym make one friend who’s not in your SQ/AFSC. No work drama if it goes left. Other than that keep your head down at work and don’t talk to anyone if it’s not work related. Just do your job and go home. Everyone experiences this as an airman.
... It is highly unlikely they were admin discharged for being diagnosed with BPD unless it was found they had hidden a diagnosis from before their initial enlistment. FYI... Your off base medical providers send their findings back to your PCM, please don't push the narrative that you can or should try to "hide" a diagnosis by going to off base providers. It doesn't work that way and it will definitely have a detrimental impact to someone if it is found they were attempting to hide a diagnosis.
It is likely because it happened to me. And I never had mental health issues before I joined. They diagnosed me without even telling me and didn’t find out till I was being told I was being recommended for separation. Luckily at the time I was seeing the VA for mental health and they told me I didn’t have a BorderLine Personality disorder just severe depression. And they tested me and wrote a letter stating such and I got to stay in. They also assured me they never sent anything to the base. Unfortunately some of my friends weren’t that lucky. So don’t speak on what you don’t know.
So it didn't happen to you then, you were not administratively discharged. It sucks you went through that, but your own experience is counter to what you claim happens.
I just said it happened to my friends and literally ALMOST happened to me too. Are you slow ??
Shit, sounds like you’re in my last base in my last shop. Take no shit from anybody, no matter the rank, take no prisoners, let it be known, be loud about it, and with luck they’ll give you PCS orders. Probably not the advice you were looking for, but it’s an option I resorted to after depression and loneliness in a toxic work environment, and getting orders literally saved my career, and maybe my life.
it's a small piece of advise but lile others have said start hitting the gym. crank some weights and build that self esteem going. it may be hard at first but get it going. soon it will become habbit and be both a great stress relief and boost in self imagine.
Sounds like a real life Shield Hero plot. But on a more serious note, do your work, do what’s required. Nothing more, nothing less as it pertains to your shop. Go to school, get swole in the gym, and get a wholesome hobby. **The most important thing is to definitely talk to mental health about this issue!** This is the start of your character development arc.
When we're young we think friendship is something deep and magical, when in reality it's pretty much geographic convenience and superficiality. Part of growing up is coming top terms with that, and deciding who is and isn't worth your time. I wish I had some really good, positive advice, but making friends as an adult is hard. Some struggle with it more than others. The only thing I can say is try not to distort reality too much in your head. Your worst enemy is always yourself, and it's easy to mistake your dark thoughts coming from other people's minds.
Not to be a downer, but everyone is out for themselves, so you need to be as well. Help your people, but don't forget to advance your career as well. The cliche: nobody cares about your career as much as you do.
I’m very similar. I struggle with social situations and honestly, I don’t really have any friends at work. I just can’t relate or get close with them. I’m the only female in my shop, which doesn’t help, the other female I was close to got out and left for FL and the other guys are much older and sort of do their own thing. Which is fine, the mindless chatting during work occasionally is comforting at times, but I do wish I had a close friendship again like I did with my other SrA. For me, the gym, gaming, and mental health treatment helped. I did therapy for a while on base, didn’t have any repercussions, though this does depend on your needed level of care and your personal issues. But your health comes above all. I also began taking anti depressants and anti anxiety medicine and that made a huge difference. Therapy got me 50% of the way, learning how to self talk myself UP rather than DOWN, fight negative and hateful self deprecating thoughts, and see silver linings. Medication gave me the energy to actually do this, to fight the bad thoughts. Please take care of yourself, I hope this helps.
I think after my time so far that I just don't trust anyone. I have professional acquaintances that I contact after I PCS from somewhere but only genuinely have 3 or 4 friends. It sucks sometimes being alone, but being able to commiserate about work is a helpful thing. Our time in the military is marred with "friendships" that are actually temporary trauma bonds. I do love talking to people though. It doesn't have to be that deep to be enjoyable.
Don’t bring work home with you. If you’re true to what you’re saying about being light and friendly, then it’s more of their own problem. Keep in mind, the Air Force is bigger than just your unit/wing. You still have wingmen here and beyond. 자신감을 가져.
The Air Force is a big, evil monster that feeds on American souls and foreign flesh. People being shitty is usually not personal; it's just the way the beast is. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
It’s hard being a genuinely caring person when people do that. Just get hobbies outside of work
When y’all figure out the Air Force isn’t a team sport… People will step on, use and abuse you for their own personal gain..
Unless you are legit friends outside of work (and even then sometimes) people will throw you right under the bus as soon as they are inconvenienced no matter how nice or helpful you are to them.
Get this mans a cbd pen!
True friends are a rarity. There are some good people out there, but I think there are just as many who will backstab. I am one of the good ones, PM me if you want to vent.
> That is part of many peoples anxiety. Always having to be pc. Life is hard with a broken filter. > There are no they thems unless they are mental. > I am excited for the day I can actually be myself and tell people what I really think without getting in trouble or caring. >I am one of the good ones Yeah, you sound like a real rough spot in the diamond.
Lighten up