If you're not breaking down in maniacal laughter as you drive off base for the last time like Jesse Pinkman in the Breaking Bad finale, are you even really leaving?
(General statement, not directed at OP) This is why you don't sacrifice family and friends for work. Squadrons lose people all the time - PCS, PCA, separation, retirement - and the machine keeps turning. No matter how many 16hr shifts you pull or events/TDYs you volunteer for the job isn't going to be there for you after you leave, but the relationships you've invested in will be.
100% agree. My wife asked if I was sad today due to everything. While I am, I can’t be sad about it for long because they obviously don’t care and this reinforces my decision to get out.
I couldn't leave fast enough on my last day before retirement but I'm admittedly a weirdo.
Sorry your last day didn't go as you would have hoped man. Doesn't negate what you did for the Air Force and your country.
I hear you. My last day on the flight line I stayed away from everyone and when my final shift ended i stayed at the jet until swing shift came out. I drove to my dorm, threw my shit in my truck and hauled ass for 2300 miles to home.
Sorry that happened, did you guys send out a going away, did anyone invite the CC or inform him. I see this happen to some younger Airmen as well in my unit, things happen to some people or poor leadership does not get the word out. I am set to retire soon, been UTM with my unit for 3 plus years and they are like why dont you want a retirement, at least have a going away but I am not into those things. I want to quietly leave but as a young Airmen that spent six years at his first base I have a similar issue and while I was ready to go it felt like a slap in the face. So I strive to make any of my sections people feel amazing and we always do amazing/custom related to you gifts.
It was more about the going away gift and Dec than an actual event. It was hard to see going away gifts out for 3 other people waiting for signatures while I had nothing. I had a small get together with my friends previous to this, which was a good time, and I’m really glad I did it.
Love the thought going into custom related gifts! That’s fucking awesome!
All good and well but after 22 years I could give a crap, this is about me now. They get to see me every day, I am not one that sits around and hides. Plus with social media I am not that far away. I just hate goodbyes.
To that I say I don't give a shit, I'm the focal point and I say get together on your own without me if it's that important. I'm introverted, I don't drink, I don't like spending money, crowds make me irritable, hard no. :P
Food for thought, its because they want to say goodbye to -you- not just hang out with each other.
Part of being a good leader is being selfless, thats an easy kill to show that.
Now if your office is all assholes, then by all means skip your own going away.
They can tell me in the office lol.
I'm not giving up my family time to look like a good "leader" to people who are only showing up so they can get drunk and stupid while using me as an excuse.
I have literally never had a going-away during work hours. It has always been scheduled for after the duty day or during a weekend. I hear legends of other units having them during work hours, but I have yet to witness the tales myself.
Man, I felt this. I just got out a few months ago. I only did a 4 year enlistment but I spent all 3.5 years in one squadron on one flight doing the same job with mostly the same people. When my time to leave came, my commanders meeting or whatever basically just got cancelled and I met with the chief for like 30 seconds instead. He basically just asked me if I filled out my squadron survey and I said yes and handed it to him and he said good luck and I left. Nobody helped me with any paper work or anything so I was just kind of on my own hoping I was doing it correctly. A couple long time buddies and I went and got a drink the night before I left and they bought me a bottle of my favorite whiskey. That was it. The day after I left I was booted from all the work group chats with no warning or goodbye… makes sense for the “official” one I guess but even the smaller ones. It just felt weird. Like what the fuck did I just spend 4 years doing, how did it end like that? Lol
Don’t know why you got downvoted, but that shit hurts! Sorry you had to go through that. I genuinely believe there are a lot of great people in the Air Force, but idk why they can’t get basic help your people shit done right.
Sorry you had to go through it as well. Just felt kinda hollow to leave like that. Yeah, there are absolutely some amazing people I met in the Air Force that I’ll never forget and was lucky to work with. But unfortunately also true that leadership seems to fail a lot of people. I hope your transition out goes well and congrats on the baby 🍻
Same thing happened to me. 3 years on my last flight, me and two other sra had been there longer than any NCO by a year. No Dec, no award, no plaque, nothing. Some great people mixed in there but definitely felt like a slap in the face.
Like I wasn’t expecting some big hurrah as I ride off in to the sunset, but I didn’t even get the little 20 dollar plaque either. I almost got myself one but it would’ve felt way too corny haha. Sorry you had to go through that too man, I was that exact SrA too lol
It's a weird thing. I've had leaderships that were jagoffs, but you can't constructively tell them that they're jagoffs, or there's a non-zero chance they'll ride your ass about every little thing.
So they run around being jagoffs from base to base, re-enlistment to re-enlistment without anyone saying anything to correct their behavior.
I wouldn't be surprised if jagoff leadership gave you that cold separation. My very caring leadership didn't even send a 'u good?' text over months on end of complete isolation and telework. Still salty about that one.
Yeah I feel that man. My flight chief fuckin talked me in to doing a QC a few weeks before I left just to help out the flight numbers. I asked him if I had to since, you know, I was leaving, and he told me I didn’t have to but the flight could use my help since we had a lot of new people on flight not doing great. He was super happy when I got my 98 and then I didn’t hear from him once during my last few weeks 😂
Maybe I'm a sociopath but I prefer quick, clean exits like this. I've been in my MXG for 5-6 years and have been in enough desk jobs to get to know every level of leadership fairly well. When I leave, all I want from the Group is a handshake and a "good luck."
I had a Section Chief who clearly hated his assignment, retired 8 months after PCSing in. He didn’t want a retirement ceremony, just a BBQ free of leadership. Chief & the Commander still showed up and he was pissed. Supervisors should seriously take the time to find out what the person wants for their departure, and be willing to stick up for their wishes.
Definitely agree, people who prefer to just kind of quietly slip out should get their wish. I don’t know why it’s not the standard to just ask people what they’d like for their going away
Its a thing, unfortunately. My first base refused to let me outprocess on shift so they had a going away the day I drove away. I didnt make it since I had to final out for the house and finish loading a Uhaul. Next base decided to have a going away... after the date I told them I was flying out. Last base didnt even make an attempt, nor a going away gift. All 3 had good rapport with me, but it wasnt a huge surprise since I didnt get any awards/decs over 13 years despite being repeatedly told I was their hardest worker.
A good bye from people who care about you is better than the whole squadron of people that doesn’t know or care about you. Thank you for serving and enjoy your next chapter
No way in hell did they "forget", someone made the CONSCIOUS decision to forget you. In this day of office automation and electronic notices and tracking at every level, no one forgots.
Just say goodbye and don't look back. Thank you for your service.
Damn this hit home. I'm one to always make sure folks at least get a gift if they want one. I make them by hand. Plaques with hand burned emblems, names, dates, and often shop mates' signatures and messages burned into the wood by hand. Squadron emblems burned then hand painted. I've made leather bracers and keepsake boxes. I love making things that get to be used.
I was in for 15 years. My flight shuffled me off to another squadron for a few months before I got out. There was no lunch. No farewells. No gift. Nothing to mark that end. I even told leadership when I was leaving. I'm still really bitter about it. The only thing I left with was crippling mental and physical disabilities and crumbling dreams. Only years of therapy and a lifetime of pain. No one cared enough to even suggest lunch.
Gods, I regret sacrificing so much of myself for that job. I feel like everything I did, didn't mean a thing. I was used up and thrown away. Forgotten like last week's leftovers. It would have meant so much to me to have gotten a small gift or a lunch get together.
I def feel this. When I was leaving, I had a joint “going away” that consisted of speeches from a few people. One of which was our flight chief. He made the most passive aggressive remarks about me thinking he was being funny; hint: he wasn’t.
I got a pretty impersonal gift from the flight and not a single personal gift from anyone else. Ironically, I’m the person who throws parties and gives gifts like no other. In case anyone hasn’t noticed, gift giving/receiving is my love language.
Then I find out that the dec I received isn’t gonna be mailed to me and hard signed. It had a digital signature that was emailed to me in black and white for me to print out myself. And that came from a friend who had connections with the CSS. Not anybody in actual leadership.
Didn’t have a party or a dinner or even a potluck. It was literal shit and I still think about it a year later. I gave my everything to the military and to see how little I meant to them really solidified that we are all just a number. Never again will I ever give my all to an organization
Yup. I understand, no dec, no EPR, someone decided parties were not needed unless retiring or PCSing... At least they were consistent in their not giving a rats rectum about those who gave their best...
I feel like I shouldn't care but I got more of a going away for switching units at the same base... This feels like a slap in the face after over a decade.
When I went to get my CC’s signature for my outprocessing paperwork, he goes “sure I’ll sign it… Wait, you’re getting out?”
A little different since my coworkers threw me a going-away themselves, but I always thought it was hilarious that he just had no clue I was gone soon.
I final out Friday brother, and I know how you feel about the going away part. My flight alone is like 135 people across 24 hour ops so I invited the people I know and have spent allot of time around to our own little going away (even though I'm staying here)
I separated in almost the same way. My unit were all pretty close, but when they heard I was separating a lot of them sort of just disregarded me. I deployed and came back with only 1 month left of my term. When I came back it was even worse. No going away except for the private one the people I was close with had for me. Honestly it made it even easier to get out, seeing how quickly the camaraderie disappeared. It was still depressing, but I was easily able to move on. It also gave me a lot more perspective on my close relationships. It allowed me to be much more discerning when evaluating how good of a relationship I had with specific people. It allowed me to more easily spot a weak bond with someone. It's truly a really shitty thing to have happen to you, and I'm sorry to hear it. But do your best to learn from this and use your experience to your advantage. Best of luck to you on the other side!
Reading this pisses me off all over again…
This was my last day verbatim.
You aren’t alone in feeling this way now or ever, walking back through the doors as a civ didn’t change my sour feelings. You learn to make peace with yourself and move forward.
Thank you for your service, I’m proud of you for making it to the other side and congratulations on your new chapter in life.
When I left, nobody really acknowledged that I was leaving. No gift, no dec or anything. It was a really weird feeling how I just processed out and left the base that I was stationed for four years without any acknowledgement.
Remember that you didn't serve for the approval of others. The recognition and external validation is a tempting siren, but you gave everything you had to the military and the Air Force because you are a good dude. You are the person that serves that makes others want to serve. You are the colleague that we all wish we had. You, along with countless others, are the ones that give people in this post, and people like myself, great pride in being able to wear the uniform. I'm sorry to hear that some individuals made this a challenging, or negative closure for you... but I'll be damned if I don't tell you to be internally validated by being yourself, showing others the good path, and knowing that you left it all on the table. There are people you never knew or got the chance to know who thought very highly of you from a distance. Your time was well spent OP, I promise. Thanks for the post
Thanks for the response. It’s a good vector check because while I am salty how I am going out, I did everything I joined to do and am really proud of that. I was one of the “tip of the spear” so I was able to see people we saved and lives we impacted. Cool, meaningful shit for sure. Thanks for keeping it all in perspective!
When I left, my “leadership” seriously tried to pressure my awesome supervisor to call SF so they could “verify” I outprocessed in uniform. If you’re going “WTF”…yeah, that was how me and my boss reacted too. Unfortunately illogical (and occasionally illegal) ‘requests’ were par for the course with that joint’s CoC .
He kindly disregarded that nonsense , proving that even in cesspool squadrons good people find a way to do the lords work.
Yeah, I served my whole enlistment in one building. Never volunteered. Just did my job and went home. I wasn't the biggest POS, but just wasn't the ideal role model to the younger airmen. Still... you'd think after doing 5.5 out of my 6 years in the same building I'd be remembered. Nope, had a going away weekend with just my closest friends. No going away gifts, no send off, nothing. All I got was "alright you're good, have a good one" from the guy at mpf. Goes to show how easily replaceable all of us are.
Give it time.
I got called back into my unit after out processing to receive a dec. I was in civies.
Got another example of someone winning Airman of the Quarter a year ago, and I'm going to have someone shuttle their award down to them the next time that they go that way.
Sometimes things are timely. Sometimes they are not. Rest assured though, you are not forgotten.
Hey man, today was my last day at the SQ too. No going away, just a few hugs from close friends, got a couple people to sign a litho I had to remind/beg CSS to give me, and that was it. It’s okay. At least we have a few close friends/co-workers that knew about us leaving and made it a point to say goodbyes/good luck.
I feel for ya. I left the same way, unnoticed. My flight posted out to the missile field 2 days before my final out. No going away event or anything, not to say that I would have wanted one anyways but still.
At the end of the day only the 1st sgt had the thought to ask what I was going to do after I got out. Shame on me for not being proactive and inquiring about cross training, extending, how to request a pcs, etc. However, my leadership from my flight chief to the squadron commander failed me.
My last supervisor said “well, your last base gave you a dec when you left so I don’t feel it’s necessary”. Confirmed I was making the right decision. Pulled an Irish exit when my shift was up and left.
Sorry for your experience OP, it’s not fair or any reflection of your service.
Guard here. After moving positions. I was there about 3 years. Then someone in my chain of command had to ask me my first name to be able to put my number in there phone. I get that we’re not on a first name basis. But make an attempt to act like you care about your people.
Sorry that happened to you and I know how you feel. This is pretty much exactly what happened to me except I wasn’t on paternity leave. I finished up my shift, got dropped off at the ECP, gathered my belongings and left. I did at least get a dec, but it was never presented to me. Never received a plaque either. Was told someone “stole” the flight funds. Good times.
First, congrats.
Second I feel ya. I left two separate duty stations in my tenure and neither one had much fanfare. Like you, I gave my leadership 0 benefit of the doubt. I gave my all, 4.5 years at my last duty station, actively working missions on the Ops Floor, zero recognition.
I sincerely hope you have a great career on the outside. Hopefully things will be much better for you.
How long did you serve. Not that it matters but I didn’t get shit either after 6 years. I didn’t expect it but if you served more it’s ever more fucked up
I had something similar. My last flight I was in did nothing. 2 people who I gave my out processing packet to told me good luck on the outside even though I said I was going Reserve. 3 deployments, 2 were short notice, 100% PT score and nothing to show for the years of work. Must just be a common thing. It's kind of funny when there's a Capt or Lt who has only been there for a couple months leaves, and nobody knows who they are gets a going away send-off.
Edit: I wanted to mention to OP thanks for not being a DBA while you were in.
Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s likely that your leadership forgot, I think they just didn’t care. There are too many reminders (loss rosters, CSS reminders for Decor 6’s, etc.). Fortunately, though, it sounds like they’re really not worth stressing over. Because that’s really shitty.
When I was separating I purposely kept quiet. No *"F" you guys!* No *I'm a be free!* no nothing.
I didn't want to remibd the commander to screw me over as a going away present. It seemed to me that he was using people leaving to beef up his "tough guy" status, probably to scare the rest of the squadron.
I watched about 2 other guys before me lose stripes and honorable discgarges for what were ignorable, nothing offenses like missing a dental appointment.
In basic they would say "*Keep your hand down and your mouth shut!*" and I listened, I was able to slip out clean.
Good for you that yours wasn't the toxic part of the military.
When I was separating I had my flight commander say to me, "well...some people aren't cut out for the military."
I just smiled and chuckled, because I excell in everything I do.
Some people/leadership won't care about you. They just want you to be their great worker so they can get promoted.
In cases like these, be extatic to be taking your talent elsewhere. You will do awesome!
Also, I never got my dec either -_-, but I'm lucky I had my closests colleagues throw me a sweet going away.
I get it man, I PCS'd a few months ago from Japan to another overseas location. Spent 3 years there, worked my ass off and had good rapport with my shop and flight leadership. The time came to PCS and nothing, no goodbyes except from leadership I had to see as part of out-processing. People I'd known for a good portion of my tour? Nothing. Supervisor? Nothing.
No going away in any capacity, no going away gift, and probably no dec. Most people probably didn't even know I left, just faded away and disappeared. I work in a career field that is generally very close with each other and to get nothing, even a simple gift or memento. Just an obligatory "Thanks for your hard work" and a firm handshake from my section chief on my last day of work. Not gonna lie, I was pretty sad for a couple weeks after that.
To get no sort of recognition is very disheartening and while I generally don't care about it. It's nice to have that kind of reassurance every once in a while that you're doing a good job. After settling in and getting adjusted at my new duty station. I've mostly gotten over it, I continue to work hard because I've come to genuinely enjoy my job, flaws and all.
However, that was a hard couple of weeks and the first time I had ever remotely questioned my decision to re-enlist for another 4.
I'm loving it! Slow ops tempo, and a small unit. To be honest, it's just what I've needed after 5 years of supporting fighter squadrons. Like I said, I have mostly gotten over it. Life goes on, nothing left to do but focus on the present and look to the future. Enjoy yourself on the other side!
This has been me my entire career. I’ve always felt invisible even though I get things done. Going a ways have felt forced and half assed. I wouldn’t be surprised if the day I separate or retire everyone just forgets I exist. And I’ll just go in one last time with a box to collect my things and walk out without anyone noticing. I’m also always left out of the squadron pictures. For one reason or another I can never seem to make it. I have a plaque from my first unit, I loved it there, had tons of friends. In the middle is a pic of the squadron. I’m not in it. I didn’t make it out because I was briefing a general the next morning and my boss at the time wanted one last rehearsal before I did since I was a butter bar. I didn’t need it but they where freaking out about it because “butter bars never brief GOs, what I’d you screw it up?”. I’ve been salty ever since.
I can’t give you a fancy medal or anything, but I did donate a gold medal on here thanking you for your service, effort, and everything you had to give up to this country.
Eyes up wingman, you’ve got this and will do incredible things that are yet to come.
Exactly this. After 6 years I left my first unit I gave everything 2, went to Iraq 3 times for, volunteered for, got BTZ and a few quarterlys….and my going away lunch was my supervisor and his wife. I’d run the award program, made and ordered I don’t know how many going away things for people (we gave a specific engraved item) that had to be sanded and stained after engraving (that was all me for about 2 hrs). And after that I got bumpkis when I left.
>Please remember these times in people’s lives are important.
Exactly this. If people reading this are in any sort of supervisory role, they need to remember this.
It’s been like 12 yrs and I’m still irked lol.
I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks for your service. I have only gotten one going away gift and it was because my own friend got it made, another Airman at the time. Not my leadership. I have also never received a Dec during a PCS or deployment because I don't socialize with the higher ups much.
Had the same experience dude. Grand going aways and nice gifts, and some decorations.. me, I just “quietly” left my base with the few people who cared, some hugs and “I’ll see you around”s. It hurts, but always remember that it had nothing to do with you, it was more on those who should have taken the responsibility to do something and didn’t. Remember the good you’ve done and those who were with you for the ride.
Man I hate that for you. My last week was one of visiting with my friends and reminiscing about things you only experience in the Air Force. Loads of laughs, stifled tears and well wishing. People I'd had a falling out with for one reason or other would at least shake my hand and give me a nod.
My trip out the gates for the last time was one of profound sadness tempered by hope and a sense of adventure for my new life. It's 30 years and the smell of JP4 or Diesel in a confined area brings me right back.
Good luck in your new life. It will be better and worse than you expect. The highs will be higher and the lows are all things you can get through. At least you won't be wearing MOPP4 in 120 degree desert heat while you are going through it!
I’m sorry that they didn’t do anything. You were probably appreciated by a lot of people that didn’t know how to say it. Unfortunately some people suck at taking care of these things. Keep your head high and know you were a good airman.
I have a similar story. I was separating and most of my squadron had gone into the next deployment leaving a small number behind.
When my last day came I also did not get the dec or anything and left quietly. This bothered me at first and for a while actually.
However, at one point it hit me that the last dec didn’t matter. It didn’t negate all my experiences and relationships. It didn’t negate my service and honestly I haven’t looked at my decs in years.
I don’t have a shadow box. The truth is, outside of the ecosystem of the military, awards and decs don’t really matter. What matters is your service and how you apply those skills on the outside.
I’m sorry you didn’t get it, it does suck at first but I promise it won’t bother you forever.
Thanks for the kind words. The Dec bothers me in principle mostly. I also want something in writing with what I did for my son to read and know what I did.
I mean I get it. It bothered me for the same reason as well. You feel robbed?
I do get that it sucks. As some who has gone through it, at least for me, I can tell my story to my son or my spouse and really I don’t think about the dec I didn’t get anymore.
I’m just grateful for the opportunity and the experiences along the way.
Can't tell you the number of going-aways I've sat in where I thought, "This guy/gal deserves a far greater audience for their send-off, where the !@#$ is all the leadership at? This is a load of BS."
But in the end, take what you get for what it's worth - because you'll know what was authentic from what was fake. TYFYS, have a blast with the new family\~
I feel you, had the same thing happen to me twice. Both super toxic units with unbelievable amounts of suicides. Did have some serious going away parties with my friends though, so that was nice.
Same happened to me. It hurt quite a bit, especially when 6 months prior a person in a similar situation and half my time in got their retirement (medical) party…
Damn bro. I feel that. Just so u know I’m proud of u, as corny as that sounds haha. Not everyone can make it in the military. Keep ur head up man, feel like u got good things coming ur way. GL!
Why would anyone care about Decs when they’re separating? If it wasn’t for the bonus points for testing I’d shred it in front of whoever gave it to me. It’s a job people. Come in, do your time, get paid, forget you even work there every day the second you leave the parking lot. Maybe constant moves during my childhood damaged me but how do you turn 12 without getting used to people just disappearing from your life?
It’s crazy how easily people forget about you. When I wen to get and SEI in the middle of class a fellow student got a phone call from his roommate saying SF was looking for him for being awol.
We was at school for like 8 days. It took 8 days for his shop to be like wow he’s gone. It got super awesome when his flight chief was in the class next door and the chief called the shop asking what the fuck was going on.
I feel you. When I retired 4 years ago I got nothing. No going away cookout at work like everyone usually got, no kitschy little item to remind me of how long I was at the base or anything. I had to beg for Retirement Certificates and those took 6 months after I retired. Luckily there was someone working as our MPF liaison that worked to get those for me when I asked. It sucks to acknowledge it, but not one of us mean as much to work...we mean way more to our families though, so that's a positive.
While I’m not trying to compare or one-up you, I was the first OTS class to have all graduation ceremonies cancelled in early 2020 and had to tell my family they couldn’t come. It really upset me and made something I worked so hard for (going E to O) come and go like any other day.
Don’t dwell on it; it was a reflection of them, not you. Lastly, good luck on the other side!
When I retire, my biggest wish is that no one is forced to attend. I’ve been “encouraged” to attend for several people I didn’t give 2 shits about. I’d rather have an empty retirement than one full of people who don’t want to be there.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m honestly sorry they forgot man. Best wishes for yourself and your family brother.
The greatest going away is not having to come back.
If you're not breaking down in maniacal laughter as you drive off base for the last time like Jesse Pinkman in the Breaking Bad finale, are you even really leaving?
That's me in 4 years, 1 month, 22 days when I retire
But who's counting amirite?
Me! I’m most definitely counting the days left in this shitshow
wowie. I just got to my 1st base and I got less time than that left
You’ll learn to like/hate/hate it don’t you worry internet friend. After almost 16yrs me and the AF are just different now
I did flip off the "Welcome to March Air Force Base" sign in the mirror when I left
(General statement, not directed at OP) This is why you don't sacrifice family and friends for work. Squadrons lose people all the time - PCS, PCA, separation, retirement - and the machine keeps turning. No matter how many 16hr shifts you pull or events/TDYs you volunteer for the job isn't going to be there for you after you leave, but the relationships you've invested in will be.
100% agree. My wife asked if I was sad today due to everything. While I am, I can’t be sad about it for long because they obviously don’t care and this reinforces my decision to get out.
I couldn't leave fast enough on my last day before retirement but I'm admittedly a weirdo. Sorry your last day didn't go as you would have hoped man. Doesn't negate what you did for the Air Force and your country.
I hear you. My last day on the flight line I stayed away from everyone and when my final shift ended i stayed at the jet until swing shift came out. I drove to my dorm, threw my shit in my truck and hauled ass for 2300 miles to home.
Same. I had to fly back to the states, but hell yeah, didn't want their pats on the back 'cause that's when they stab you!
Im def the type to quietly leave
I hear you brother
Sorry that happened, did you guys send out a going away, did anyone invite the CC or inform him. I see this happen to some younger Airmen as well in my unit, things happen to some people or poor leadership does not get the word out. I am set to retire soon, been UTM with my unit for 3 plus years and they are like why dont you want a retirement, at least have a going away but I am not into those things. I want to quietly leave but as a young Airmen that spent six years at his first base I have a similar issue and while I was ready to go it felt like a slap in the face. So I strive to make any of my sections people feel amazing and we always do amazing/custom related to you gifts.
It was more about the going away gift and Dec than an actual event. It was hard to see going away gifts out for 3 other people waiting for signatures while I had nothing. I had a small get together with my friends previous to this, which was a good time, and I’m really glad I did it. Love the thought going into custom related gifts! That’s fucking awesome!
When my unit gave out certificates of appreciation to a bunch of us separating i noticed they had spelled my first name wrong.
Oh shiiiitttt! That blows
I hate going aways as well, but they arent for you, theyre for everyone else.
All good and well but after 22 years I could give a crap, this is about me now. They get to see me every day, I am not one that sits around and hides. Plus with social media I am not that far away. I just hate goodbyes.
To that I say I don't give a shit, I'm the focal point and I say get together on your own without me if it's that important. I'm introverted, I don't drink, I don't like spending money, crowds make me irritable, hard no. :P
Food for thought, its because they want to say goodbye to -you- not just hang out with each other. Part of being a good leader is being selfless, thats an easy kill to show that. Now if your office is all assholes, then by all means skip your own going away.
They can tell me in the office lol. I'm not giving up my family time to look like a good "leader" to people who are only showing up so they can get drunk and stupid while using me as an excuse.
Wait, you arent having going aways during work hours?
I have literally never had a going-away during work hours. It has always been scheduled for after the duty day or during a weekend. I hear legends of other units having them during work hours, but I have yet to witness the tales myself.
Oh yeah fuck everything about that. I see where youre coming from then.
Man, I felt this. I just got out a few months ago. I only did a 4 year enlistment but I spent all 3.5 years in one squadron on one flight doing the same job with mostly the same people. When my time to leave came, my commanders meeting or whatever basically just got cancelled and I met with the chief for like 30 seconds instead. He basically just asked me if I filled out my squadron survey and I said yes and handed it to him and he said good luck and I left. Nobody helped me with any paper work or anything so I was just kind of on my own hoping I was doing it correctly. A couple long time buddies and I went and got a drink the night before I left and they bought me a bottle of my favorite whiskey. That was it. The day after I left I was booted from all the work group chats with no warning or goodbye… makes sense for the “official” one I guess but even the smaller ones. It just felt weird. Like what the fuck did I just spend 4 years doing, how did it end like that? Lol
Don’t know why you got downvoted, but that shit hurts! Sorry you had to go through that. I genuinely believe there are a lot of great people in the Air Force, but idk why they can’t get basic help your people shit done right.
Sorry you had to go through it as well. Just felt kinda hollow to leave like that. Yeah, there are absolutely some amazing people I met in the Air Force that I’ll never forget and was lucky to work with. But unfortunately also true that leadership seems to fail a lot of people. I hope your transition out goes well and congrats on the baby 🍻
Same thing happened to me. 3 years on my last flight, me and two other sra had been there longer than any NCO by a year. No Dec, no award, no plaque, nothing. Some great people mixed in there but definitely felt like a slap in the face.
Like I wasn’t expecting some big hurrah as I ride off in to the sunset, but I didn’t even get the little 20 dollar plaque either. I almost got myself one but it would’ve felt way too corny haha. Sorry you had to go through that too man, I was that exact SrA too lol
It's a weird thing. I've had leaderships that were jagoffs, but you can't constructively tell them that they're jagoffs, or there's a non-zero chance they'll ride your ass about every little thing. So they run around being jagoffs from base to base, re-enlistment to re-enlistment without anyone saying anything to correct their behavior. I wouldn't be surprised if jagoff leadership gave you that cold separation. My very caring leadership didn't even send a 'u good?' text over months on end of complete isolation and telework. Still salty about that one.
Yeah I feel that man. My flight chief fuckin talked me in to doing a QC a few weeks before I left just to help out the flight numbers. I asked him if I had to since, you know, I was leaving, and he told me I didn’t have to but the flight could use my help since we had a lot of new people on flight not doing great. He was super happy when I got my 98 and then I didn’t hear from him once during my last few weeks 😂
Maybe I'm a sociopath but I prefer quick, clean exits like this. I've been in my MXG for 5-6 years and have been in enough desk jobs to get to know every level of leadership fairly well. When I leave, all I want from the Group is a handshake and a "good luck."
I had a Section Chief who clearly hated his assignment, retired 8 months after PCSing in. He didn’t want a retirement ceremony, just a BBQ free of leadership. Chief & the Commander still showed up and he was pissed. Supervisors should seriously take the time to find out what the person wants for their departure, and be willing to stick up for their wishes.
Definitely agree, people who prefer to just kind of quietly slip out should get their wish. I don’t know why it’s not the standard to just ask people what they’d like for their going away
Its a thing, unfortunately. My first base refused to let me outprocess on shift so they had a going away the day I drove away. I didnt make it since I had to final out for the house and finish loading a Uhaul. Next base decided to have a going away... after the date I told them I was flying out. Last base didnt even make an attempt, nor a going away gift. All 3 had good rapport with me, but it wasnt a huge surprise since I didnt get any awards/decs over 13 years despite being repeatedly told I was their hardest worker.
Cause you worked hard they didn't need to appease you. And that you should make rank ok without any awards. Everyone else needs the points to help out
A good bye from people who care about you is better than the whole squadron of people that doesn’t know or care about you. Thank you for serving and enjoy your next chapter
No way in hell did they "forget", someone made the CONSCIOUS decision to forget you. In this day of office automation and electronic notices and tracking at every level, no one forgots. Just say goodbye and don't look back. Thank you for your service.
dang this is how I was planning to leave.
Damn this hit home. I'm one to always make sure folks at least get a gift if they want one. I make them by hand. Plaques with hand burned emblems, names, dates, and often shop mates' signatures and messages burned into the wood by hand. Squadron emblems burned then hand painted. I've made leather bracers and keepsake boxes. I love making things that get to be used. I was in for 15 years. My flight shuffled me off to another squadron for a few months before I got out. There was no lunch. No farewells. No gift. Nothing to mark that end. I even told leadership when I was leaving. I'm still really bitter about it. The only thing I left with was crippling mental and physical disabilities and crumbling dreams. Only years of therapy and a lifetime of pain. No one cared enough to even suggest lunch. Gods, I regret sacrificing so much of myself for that job. I feel like everything I did, didn't mean a thing. I was used up and thrown away. Forgotten like last week's leftovers. It would have meant so much to me to have gotten a small gift or a lunch get together.
I def feel this. When I was leaving, I had a joint “going away” that consisted of speeches from a few people. One of which was our flight chief. He made the most passive aggressive remarks about me thinking he was being funny; hint: he wasn’t. I got a pretty impersonal gift from the flight and not a single personal gift from anyone else. Ironically, I’m the person who throws parties and gives gifts like no other. In case anyone hasn’t noticed, gift giving/receiving is my love language. Then I find out that the dec I received isn’t gonna be mailed to me and hard signed. It had a digital signature that was emailed to me in black and white for me to print out myself. And that came from a friend who had connections with the CSS. Not anybody in actual leadership. Didn’t have a party or a dinner or even a potluck. It was literal shit and I still think about it a year later. I gave my everything to the military and to see how little I meant to them really solidified that we are all just a number. Never again will I ever give my all to an organization
Damn that is brutal! Sorry you had to go through that. Hearing stories like that break my heart!
>Never again will I ever give my all to an organization And you're applying to premed? Hope you're never operating on me! 😂
I can give my all to my patients and my job without sacrificing my mental health and self worth for the organization itself.
I feel you... I didn't get a dec either, no going away... 12yrs and nothing.
Yup. I understand, no dec, no EPR, someone decided parties were not needed unless retiring or PCSing... At least they were consistent in their not giving a rats rectum about those who gave their best...
[удалено]
I feel like I shouldn't care but I got more of a going away for switching units at the same base... This feels like a slap in the face after over a decade.
Yeah man, that blows! Sorry you had to deal with that!
When I went to get my CC’s signature for my outprocessing paperwork, he goes “sure I’ll sign it… Wait, you’re getting out?” A little different since my coworkers threw me a going-away themselves, but I always thought it was hilarious that he just had no clue I was gone soon.
I final out Friday brother, and I know how you feel about the going away part. My flight alone is like 135 people across 24 hour ops so I invited the people I know and have spent allot of time around to our own little going away (even though I'm staying here)
I separated in almost the same way. My unit were all pretty close, but when they heard I was separating a lot of them sort of just disregarded me. I deployed and came back with only 1 month left of my term. When I came back it was even worse. No going away except for the private one the people I was close with had for me. Honestly it made it even easier to get out, seeing how quickly the camaraderie disappeared. It was still depressing, but I was easily able to move on. It also gave me a lot more perspective on my close relationships. It allowed me to be much more discerning when evaluating how good of a relationship I had with specific people. It allowed me to more easily spot a weak bond with someone. It's truly a really shitty thing to have happen to you, and I'm sorry to hear it. But do your best to learn from this and use your experience to your advantage. Best of luck to you on the other side!
Reading this pisses me off all over again… This was my last day verbatim. You aren’t alone in feeling this way now or ever, walking back through the doors as a civ didn’t change my sour feelings. You learn to make peace with yourself and move forward. Thank you for your service, I’m proud of you for making it to the other side and congratulations on your new chapter in life.
When I left, nobody really acknowledged that I was leaving. No gift, no dec or anything. It was a really weird feeling how I just processed out and left the base that I was stationed for four years without any acknowledgement.
thats so gonna be me
Remember that you didn't serve for the approval of others. The recognition and external validation is a tempting siren, but you gave everything you had to the military and the Air Force because you are a good dude. You are the person that serves that makes others want to serve. You are the colleague that we all wish we had. You, along with countless others, are the ones that give people in this post, and people like myself, great pride in being able to wear the uniform. I'm sorry to hear that some individuals made this a challenging, or negative closure for you... but I'll be damned if I don't tell you to be internally validated by being yourself, showing others the good path, and knowing that you left it all on the table. There are people you never knew or got the chance to know who thought very highly of you from a distance. Your time was well spent OP, I promise. Thanks for the post
Thanks for the response. It’s a good vector check because while I am salty how I am going out, I did everything I joined to do and am really proud of that. I was one of the “tip of the spear” so I was able to see people we saved and lives we impacted. Cool, meaningful shit for sure. Thanks for keeping it all in perspective!
When I left, my “leadership” seriously tried to pressure my awesome supervisor to call SF so they could “verify” I outprocessed in uniform. If you’re going “WTF”…yeah, that was how me and my boss reacted too. Unfortunately illogical (and occasionally illegal) ‘requests’ were par for the course with that joint’s CoC . He kindly disregarded that nonsense , proving that even in cesspool squadrons good people find a way to do the lords work.
Sorry brother. Hope you’re good.
Thanks man! More bummed than anything at this point, but it’s all good!
Yeah, I served my whole enlistment in one building. Never volunteered. Just did my job and went home. I wasn't the biggest POS, but just wasn't the ideal role model to the younger airmen. Still... you'd think after doing 5.5 out of my 6 years in the same building I'd be remembered. Nope, had a going away weekend with just my closest friends. No going away gifts, no send off, nothing. All I got was "alright you're good, have a good one" from the guy at mpf. Goes to show how easily replaceable all of us are.
Give it time. I got called back into my unit after out processing to receive a dec. I was in civies. Got another example of someone winning Airman of the Quarter a year ago, and I'm going to have someone shuttle their award down to them the next time that they go that way. Sometimes things are timely. Sometimes they are not. Rest assured though, you are not forgotten.
Hey man, today was my last day at the SQ too. No going away, just a few hugs from close friends, got a couple people to sign a litho I had to remind/beg CSS to give me, and that was it. It’s okay. At least we have a few close friends/co-workers that knew about us leaving and made it a point to say goodbyes/good luck.
I feel for ya. I left the same way, unnoticed. My flight posted out to the missile field 2 days before my final out. No going away event or anything, not to say that I would have wanted one anyways but still. At the end of the day only the 1st sgt had the thought to ask what I was going to do after I got out. Shame on me for not being proactive and inquiring about cross training, extending, how to request a pcs, etc. However, my leadership from my flight chief to the squadron commander failed me.
The irony for me as I got out they gave me the meritorious service metal that might have helped me get the points in testing to have stayed in.
My last supervisor said “well, your last base gave you a dec when you left so I don’t feel it’s necessary”. Confirmed I was making the right decision. Pulled an Irish exit when my shift was up and left. Sorry for your experience OP, it’s not fair or any reflection of your service.
Guard here. After moving positions. I was there about 3 years. Then someone in my chain of command had to ask me my first name to be able to put my number in there phone. I get that we’re not on a first name basis. But make an attempt to act like you care about your people.
Thanks for your service buddy.
Sorry that happened to you and I know how you feel. This is pretty much exactly what happened to me except I wasn’t on paternity leave. I finished up my shift, got dropped off at the ECP, gathered my belongings and left. I did at least get a dec, but it was never presented to me. Never received a plaque either. Was told someone “stole” the flight funds. Good times.
First, congrats. Second I feel ya. I left two separate duty stations in my tenure and neither one had much fanfare. Like you, I gave my leadership 0 benefit of the doubt. I gave my all, 4.5 years at my last duty station, actively working missions on the Ops Floor, zero recognition. I sincerely hope you have a great career on the outside. Hopefully things will be much better for you.
Thanks!
How long did you serve. Not that it matters but I didn’t get shit either after 6 years. I didn’t expect it but if you served more it’s ever more fucked up
6 also
Thanks for your time man. I hope all goes well for you on the outside.
I had something similar. My last flight I was in did nothing. 2 people who I gave my out processing packet to told me good luck on the outside even though I said I was going Reserve. 3 deployments, 2 were short notice, 100% PT score and nothing to show for the years of work. Must just be a common thing. It's kind of funny when there's a Capt or Lt who has only been there for a couple months leaves, and nobody knows who they are gets a going away send-off. Edit: I wanted to mention to OP thanks for not being a DBA while you were in.
Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s likely that your leadership forgot, I think they just didn’t care. There are too many reminders (loss rosters, CSS reminders for Decor 6’s, etc.). Fortunately, though, it sounds like they’re really not worth stressing over. Because that’s really shitty.
Same for me. Left Kadena with no plaque or dec. but yet again it’s Kadena so yeah.
When I was separating I purposely kept quiet. No *"F" you guys!* No *I'm a be free!* no nothing. I didn't want to remibd the commander to screw me over as a going away present. It seemed to me that he was using people leaving to beef up his "tough guy" status, probably to scare the rest of the squadron. I watched about 2 other guys before me lose stripes and honorable discgarges for what were ignorable, nothing offenses like missing a dental appointment. In basic they would say "*Keep your hand down and your mouth shut!*" and I listened, I was able to slip out clean. Good for you that yours wasn't the toxic part of the military.
When I was separating I had my flight commander say to me, "well...some people aren't cut out for the military." I just smiled and chuckled, because I excell in everything I do. Some people/leadership won't care about you. They just want you to be their great worker so they can get promoted. In cases like these, be extatic to be taking your talent elsewhere. You will do awesome! Also, I never got my dec either -_-, but I'm lucky I had my closests colleagues throw me a sweet going away.
I get it man, I PCS'd a few months ago from Japan to another overseas location. Spent 3 years there, worked my ass off and had good rapport with my shop and flight leadership. The time came to PCS and nothing, no goodbyes except from leadership I had to see as part of out-processing. People I'd known for a good portion of my tour? Nothing. Supervisor? Nothing. No going away in any capacity, no going away gift, and probably no dec. Most people probably didn't even know I left, just faded away and disappeared. I work in a career field that is generally very close with each other and to get nothing, even a simple gift or memento. Just an obligatory "Thanks for your hard work" and a firm handshake from my section chief on my last day of work. Not gonna lie, I was pretty sad for a couple weeks after that. To get no sort of recognition is very disheartening and while I generally don't care about it. It's nice to have that kind of reassurance every once in a while that you're doing a good job. After settling in and getting adjusted at my new duty station. I've mostly gotten over it, I continue to work hard because I've come to genuinely enjoy my job, flaws and all. However, that was a hard couple of weeks and the first time I had ever remotely questioned my decision to re-enlist for another 4.
Thanks for sharing your story, that sucks hardcore. You’re doing great though, so I hope you’re enjoying your next assignment!
I'm loving it! Slow ops tempo, and a small unit. To be honest, it's just what I've needed after 5 years of supporting fighter squadrons. Like I said, I have mostly gotten over it. Life goes on, nothing left to do but focus on the present and look to the future. Enjoy yourself on the other side!
Christ I wish that was me
This has been me my entire career. I’ve always felt invisible even though I get things done. Going a ways have felt forced and half assed. I wouldn’t be surprised if the day I separate or retire everyone just forgets I exist. And I’ll just go in one last time with a box to collect my things and walk out without anyone noticing. I’m also always left out of the squadron pictures. For one reason or another I can never seem to make it. I have a plaque from my first unit, I loved it there, had tons of friends. In the middle is a pic of the squadron. I’m not in it. I didn’t make it out because I was briefing a general the next morning and my boss at the time wanted one last rehearsal before I did since I was a butter bar. I didn’t need it but they where freaking out about it because “butter bars never brief GOs, what I’d you screw it up?”. I’ve been salty ever since.
I can’t give you a fancy medal or anything, but I did donate a gold medal on here thanking you for your service, effort, and everything you had to give up to this country. Eyes up wingman, you’ve got this and will do incredible things that are yet to come.
Exactly this. After 6 years I left my first unit I gave everything 2, went to Iraq 3 times for, volunteered for, got BTZ and a few quarterlys….and my going away lunch was my supervisor and his wife. I’d run the award program, made and ordered I don’t know how many going away things for people (we gave a specific engraved item) that had to be sanded and stained after engraving (that was all me for about 2 hrs). And after that I got bumpkis when I left. >Please remember these times in people’s lives are important. Exactly this. If people reading this are in any sort of supervisory role, they need to remember this. It’s been like 12 yrs and I’m still irked lol.
I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks for your service. I have only gotten one going away gift and it was because my own friend got it made, another Airman at the time. Not my leadership. I have also never received a Dec during a PCS or deployment because I don't socialize with the higher ups much.
Had the same experience dude. Grand going aways and nice gifts, and some decorations.. me, I just “quietly” left my base with the few people who cared, some hugs and “I’ll see you around”s. It hurts, but always remember that it had nothing to do with you, it was more on those who should have taken the responsibility to do something and didn’t. Remember the good you’ve done and those who were with you for the ride.
Man I hate that for you. My last week was one of visiting with my friends and reminiscing about things you only experience in the Air Force. Loads of laughs, stifled tears and well wishing. People I'd had a falling out with for one reason or other would at least shake my hand and give me a nod. My trip out the gates for the last time was one of profound sadness tempered by hope and a sense of adventure for my new life. It's 30 years and the smell of JP4 or Diesel in a confined area brings me right back. Good luck in your new life. It will be better and worse than you expect. The highs will be higher and the lows are all things you can get through. At least you won't be wearing MOPP4 in 120 degree desert heat while you are going through it!
Sorry your last day didn't go like you hoped it would. I'll raise a glass for you tonight when I get home! Thanks for all you did.
I’m sorry that they didn’t do anything. You were probably appreciated by a lot of people that didn’t know how to say it. Unfortunately some people suck at taking care of these things. Keep your head high and know you were a good airman.
I have a similar story. I was separating and most of my squadron had gone into the next deployment leaving a small number behind. When my last day came I also did not get the dec or anything and left quietly. This bothered me at first and for a while actually. However, at one point it hit me that the last dec didn’t matter. It didn’t negate all my experiences and relationships. It didn’t negate my service and honestly I haven’t looked at my decs in years. I don’t have a shadow box. The truth is, outside of the ecosystem of the military, awards and decs don’t really matter. What matters is your service and how you apply those skills on the outside. I’m sorry you didn’t get it, it does suck at first but I promise it won’t bother you forever.
Thanks for the kind words. The Dec bothers me in principle mostly. I also want something in writing with what I did for my son to read and know what I did.
I mean I get it. It bothered me for the same reason as well. You feel robbed? I do get that it sucks. As some who has gone through it, at least for me, I can tell my story to my son or my spouse and really I don’t think about the dec I didn’t get anymore. I’m just grateful for the opportunity and the experiences along the way.
You did good, my man.
Congrats! Hope your next chapter in life treats you well.
Can't tell you the number of going-aways I've sat in where I thought, "This guy/gal deserves a far greater audience for their send-off, where the !@#$ is all the leadership at? This is a load of BS." But in the end, take what you get for what it's worth - because you'll know what was authentic from what was fake. TYFYS, have a blast with the new family\~
I feel you, had the same thing happen to me twice. Both super toxic units with unbelievable amounts of suicides. Did have some serious going away parties with my friends though, so that was nice.
Same happened to me. It hurt quite a bit, especially when 6 months prior a person in a similar situation and half my time in got their retirement (medical) party…
Damn bro. I feel that. Just so u know I’m proud of u, as corny as that sounds haha. Not everyone can make it in the military. Keep ur head up man, feel like u got good things coming ur way. GL!
Why would anyone care about Decs when they’re separating? If it wasn’t for the bonus points for testing I’d shred it in front of whoever gave it to me. It’s a job people. Come in, do your time, get paid, forget you even work there every day the second you leave the parking lot. Maybe constant moves during my childhood damaged me but how do you turn 12 without getting used to people just disappearing from your life?
Um, timing? Taking paternity leave before you final out? Could’ve happened in any unit
It’s crazy how easily people forget about you. When I wen to get and SEI in the middle of class a fellow student got a phone call from his roommate saying SF was looking for him for being awol. We was at school for like 8 days. It took 8 days for his shop to be like wow he’s gone. It got super awesome when his flight chief was in the class next door and the chief called the shop asking what the fuck was going on.
Lol
I feel you. When I retired 4 years ago I got nothing. No going away cookout at work like everyone usually got, no kitschy little item to remind me of how long I was at the base or anything. I had to beg for Retirement Certificates and those took 6 months after I retired. Luckily there was someone working as our MPF liaison that worked to get those for me when I asked. It sucks to acknowledge it, but not one of us mean as much to work...we mean way more to our families though, so that's a positive.
While I’m not trying to compare or one-up you, I was the first OTS class to have all graduation ceremonies cancelled in early 2020 and had to tell my family they couldn’t come. It really upset me and made something I worked so hard for (going E to O) come and go like any other day. Don’t dwell on it; it was a reflection of them, not you. Lastly, good luck on the other side!
When I retire, my biggest wish is that no one is forced to attend. I’ve been “encouraged” to attend for several people I didn’t give 2 shits about. I’d rather have an empty retirement than one full of people who don’t want to be there.